r/AITA I Bought My Brother-In-Law A Book About Narcissism For This Birthday

[@dracawyn]

If there's one thing a narcissist hates more than anything else, it's getting called out as a narcissist.

[@HealthyObbsession]

Yeah funny how they only get angry by the ‘truth’ when it's about their crap behavior/personality

[@nwilady1867]

I laugh in their faces as i say it.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Well it sounds like BIL earned it. I mean he's going out of his way to insult OP and his wife, rubbing infertility in their face and being an absolute tool of a human being. He gets a little bit back in his face and he loses his crap? Oh suck it up! This to me is justifiable assholary.

[@Lillypop93]

Story 1 "he's like this with everyone so it's not personal" since when does that mean their actions are acceptable?

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

"It's not personal" but he literally insults them using their personal struggles

[@blackrosebud2331]

Story 3: dang that artist has issues, as a artist who dose commissions if I can’t/ won’t do something I’ll tell the client upfront! Also as a curvy person I’m sick of curves because seen as inherently se❌ual it’s super frustrating!!

[@lukaseldenrust2637]

Exactly! So what if I have curves? Does that mean that I’m automatically NSFW? Hell nah! Plus I’m 17 that would be illegal lol

[@justine8387]

It's like her existence is icky to them. Just no.

[@pippo17173]

Sounds like a scam to me. Like its how they get so much clients and none of them couldn't say anything because it is almost done and all that till now.

[@SparDanger]

Same here! I put my dos and don'ts right on my commission sheet. Very helpful.

[@HeilRay]

And if anything the friend is the arshole if they said she's one for asking for a refund because the artist refused to honor their deal.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: if you don’t like the literal specifications of a job or find them uncomfortable, don’t take it. Don’t take money from the customer and custom their job to fit your comfortability. OP needs her job done the way she paid for or she gets her money back. OP is NTA, the artist is.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

Yeah, the artist needs to refund OP given that they didn't meet the requirements of the commission

[@pansprayers]

Seriously, though. It's just as dumb as taking a job as a bartender, knowing that your religion/culture has a hard rule against serving and consuming alcohol.

[@red0421]

Hi, qualified illustrator/graphic designer here! Yeah, OP is NTA. As an artist doing a commission, it's our job to create something that fits what our client asks for, so if OP wants a curvy character model, then the artist had better give it to them or tell the client from the start "Hey, sorry but I'm not comfortable with this, so unfortunately I'll have to say no to the job." We want to make something that we can be proud of, but we also have a professional responsibility to provide the work we agreed to and are being paid for, but if a commission goes against our beliefs or is too far out of our comfort zone for us to do, then we also have a responsibility to inform our client of that to avoid wasting anyone's time. OP paid for a character model that reflected her own curvy figure, but the artist took the money but refuses to do the work essentially. That's like a cashier in a butcher's shop being paid to check out items but refusing to sell a pack of meat because they're vegan.

[@hollyberry0602]

Story 1: I’m dead, that’s an absolutely class move, me and my sister are laughing our asses off NTA at all, it’s definitely a strong way to get your point across

[@songohan3321]

It was a beautifully executed move. If OP wanted to added insult to injury, he could have had an envelope with a check inside and burned it in front of the BIL. Would have only cost the amount of the check and it would have brought the message full circle for what was done earlier.

[@mateo335]

@@songohan3321 I probably put a check with a giant VOID on it (in permanent marker)

[@micahpatchen1538]

Mommy's wrong Story 2: Mom's just mad because OP is right and that is one of the BIGGEST thing that ticks us parents off...when our kids are right.

[@redonyx5428]

story 1: husband sounds jealous of op for some reason and just an overall nasty person. op's parents are just as bad for trying to make excuses for their son in law

[@viddergrapho8488]

Yeah the parents are a huge issue. Betting they secretly have something against OP's wife for having trouble conceiving. I'd say the next time they have a go at him, let them know they're no longer welcome to the future baby shower, and any relationship with future grandkids is slim to none if they're going to favor such a huge asshole just because he can have kids.

[@pippo17173]

@@viddergrapho8488 Wouldn't be surprise. The parents probaly can't say shit knowing how OP is so they let the BIL to dish it out and telling her she sucks and all that.

[@TheSignGuy1234]

Story 3: NTA I'm an artist and one of the rules I follow is "Other people aren't mind readers" I rarely get commissioned but when I do, I keep the client in as much the loop as I can. Telling them what I can draw, can't draw, and won't draw. The artist OP commissioned has no excuse, Stating your boundaries before accepting any money for a commission saves both you and the client a lot of headaches. Its not hard.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Correct

[@Skyfire_The_Goth]

The way I see it is if you're going to do commission work you need to be willing to do whatever is asked. I take hats and modify them to be goth and steampunk, if someone came to me and said "Hey I'll pay you to make me a hat with these kinds of modifications." I'd say "Sure" even if I don't agree with the modifications, I'm not the one wearing the hat and I don't ever have to add it to my portfolio if I don't want to. I get some money, they get the hat they want, win-win.

[@wmdkitty]

The lack of communication on the artist's part pushes this one into ESH.

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

@@wmdkitty that would still make it NTA since it’s on the artist. The OP isn’t the artist, so she’s not at fault and it wouldn’t be everyone sucks

[@lukaseldenrust2637]

@@wmdkitty how is OP still at fault when they asked for thing A, artist accepts but then said they didn’t want to do thing A after receiving the money, OP wants money back or thing A...

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 1: I WAS THINKING ABOUT SENDING MY GRANDMA THAT FOR CHRISTMAS! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 GO OP! 🤘🏻🖤🔥

[@redonyx5428]

story 3: artist isn't fulfilling the commission & is making excuses due to her own preferences. she doesn't get to keep the money. if the artist didn't like the commission they should have refused it.

[@brigidtheirish]

This is also why people who do commission work like this should only get paid *after* the work is completed. And I'm an artist.

[@Boundwithflame23]

@@brigidtheirish Wouldn’t that just open up the door for artists who do fulfill their commissions to never get paid AT ALL though? Meaning that the person commissioning the art just decides not to pay.

[@krism8335]

@@brigidtheirish a better idea would be for the artist to charge a deposit for commissions and partial payment after a certain amount of work is complete and the final portion when the work is when the project complete leaving room if someone wants to part ways and terms and conditions for refunds if any would be warranted

[@brigidtheirish]

@@Boundwithflame23 True. Unfortunately, there's no good answer. It's not like my sister's kennel business where people *have* to show up to pick up their dog eventually. A deposit could be a compromise, but that's still money that the client might never get back if the artist flakes.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@krism8335 And have all payment agreements *in writing.*

[@owl7072]

Story 3: First of all- If you have boundaries about what you won't draw, that's okay. _If you state those boundaries beforehand._ If you wait until _after_ you're paid to state boundaries, that's an AH move. If you don't bother to state boundaries at all and try to change the commission to what _you_ want despite what the commissioner asked for, that's an AH move. If you insult someone's body type, saying you refuse to draw it because it's "too nsfw" even though it's not, _that's an AH move, and body shaming._ I'm so tired of hearing that body types like Op's are "too nsfw" my body is similar, I can't wear certain clothes (most jeans and tshirts) without them looking too tight, and if I do then I have to wear a jacket or long sweater so people aren't staring, my own mom shames me for it, it's _humiliating._ I feel embarrassed just listening to what that person said.

[@toysruskid5074]

Hang in there. My mom shamed me for how I looked in a Tshirt until I started wearing 3 x - essentially a tent. My brother had to point out how ridiculous it was. Shaming daughters is usually religiously or jealousy motivated. And if it's religious, tell her "God gave me curves. I should accept that instead of trying to be ashamed of it. Wouldn't want to be ashamed of a gift from God. "

[@rai1578]

Story 3: Man, the title had me expecting them to be an ahole tbh. It's not uncommon for people to give a normal sounding description at first, and then try to get you to make it more NSFW via revisions. They do this as a way to get past either your rules, or the fact that you charge more for NSFW stuff. I've had it happen several times to me, and it really pisses me off. There's a reason I take a 50% non-refundable deposit in order to go past the sketching step. But you do not accept a commission that makes it clear they are asking you to draw something you're not comfortable drawing and just hope that they won't care when you ignore what they asked.That's just bad business. And frankly, calling a person's body type "NSFW" is just disrespectful. It's sexualizing the OP when it's literally just the way they naturally look. OP is NTA.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

Last bit, It really depends on what type of picture she sent to the artist She mentioned the Model she wants is fully clothed But the picture as reference for body type might not be A body type is not sexual BUT if the picture she sent IS sexualising that body type I might be able too see where the Artist is coming from (On a religious basis) NTA regardless since he ACCEPTED the request

[@rai1578]

@@mk_gamíng0609 That's a good point. I hadn't considered that. They still shouldn't have accepted if they were uncomfortable, but I could absolutely see there being a situation like that.

[@bloonh8tr619]

Wouldn't giving a narcissist a book about them make them more narcissistic. NTA he can dish it but can't take it

[@pansprayers]

That book? Nope. If you read it from a narcissistic personality standpoint, it's pretty brutal, LOL. I sent a copy to my bio mother.

[@LadyGoddessSephiroth]

@@pansprayers Omg I love you. 🤣 I'm NC with my cell donors but maybe I should send them the book anyway. It'd be a great anniversary gift 🤣🤣🤣

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

Body type shaming - We actually see this a lot. Artist get upset with Anime characters for having... well... ANY breasts. They comment, "Oh people don't look like that!" "People don't have C or D cup chests!" "Its body shaming those with normal bodies!" And this... is a double standard. there have been several Japanese and western girls and women that matched the poses in anime pictures, clothing, and had the same body type as the manga girl, and asked, "Why can't my body type be represented?" The truth here is, there are people that don't like their own bodies, and choose to take it out on everyone else. Choose to make their problems, their Morals, everyone else's. By starting crusades, and calling for cancellation, of anything that doesn't look like them.

[@axepagode33626]

Avatar Drawing Story: NTA You were extremely clear from the beginning what you wanted or expected them to draw. If they didn't want to draw that body type, they should have said so before they spent so much time. It is not fair to you to ask for something specific, pay for something specific, and then not get because the artist was uncomfortable. The artist was comfortable enough to take your money, he or she needs to be comfortable enough to do the job or give the money back.

[@AllenTax]

IKR. Sounds like the artist is playing pity party and manipulative.

[@red0421]

Hi, qualified illustrator/graphic designer here! Basically: if we accept the commission and we take your money then we are legally obligated to give you what we agreed on. If not, we give your money back. The artist agreeing to do what OP asked, then taking the money and refusing to follow the agreed on brief can be viewed as a breach of contract, _especially_ if OP has proof of the agreement and acceptance of payment. We have a professional responsibility to inform our clients from the beginning if we are not comfortable with doing the work they are asking for. The only time an artist should tell their client mid commission or near the deadline/completion of a commission is if the client changes the brief from what was agreed on to something the artist is not comfortable with. (ex. Original brief asked for an image of a dolphin trainer and a dolphin being friendly, then later asks it be changed to a trainer and a dolphin being " _friendly_ ").

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#4 YTA, respect your wife, Your parents forcing you to fight with her is being manipulative. Tell mom flat out why they are not staying at your house, that she crossed to many lines to many times.

[@jesswagner7391]

Watching from the hospital tonight. Baby came early! Brand new waffle in the house! Sorry if I've been annoying about it all. I've just been so excited as we struggled with infertility and finally gave up. There's always hope :)

[@shira558]

Same story, six months ago Congratulations!

[@jesswagner7391]

@@shira558 Congratulations to you too! And thank you!

[@huinismith]

Congratulations!

[@jesswagner7391]

@@huinismith thank you!

[@nataliehibberd6904]

Congratulations! Bless you and your baby waffle.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA OP told them EXACTLY what was wanted from the very beginning even showing a reference picture and if the artist wasn't willing to make that, then the artist shouldn't have taken the commission. Itbisbthe artist's fault that they spent so much time on the work when OP made extremely what was desired. Also, how is a normal humans body type NSFW? That's right, it's not. It can be against their religion or culture to draw a woman as she is unless drawing women us forbidden in general. Even there was some some cultural rule against it, which again I doubt, not all cultural practices are good, right, or should be followed. That artist owes OP her money or the art she clearly wanted.

[@momotaro1236]

Maybe they thought it was fetish art. Some people are into women with super over exaggerated boobs but what they where asking for sounds like reasonable proportions

[@tiryaclearsong421]

@@momotaro1236 Some women also have large boobs. It is a normal variation in size. Having large boobs doesn't make a person's body a fetish. It doesn't make anyone less than.

[@Jadyra]

Story 1: I had to think on this but seeing as how he's giving your wife the hard time, if there was ever a next time, she should tell him." It's not MY problem that YOU'RE shooting blanks for me."

[@rangeraero]

Story 1: "Brutal honesty" is something people say to excuse the fact that they enjoy bullying people.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: So his constant infertility jokes that he makes the very second he lays eyes on them are "just teasing" and "nothing personal" but OP makes one (1) comment and suddenly he's "out of line" and an "asshole" who "can't take a joke" Hell, OP didn't even make the comment, he just gave him a book, not his fault BIL took it that way. 'Twas just a lighthearted jest between brothers, he was simply teasing him.

[@krism8335]

Op should tell them well I was just teasing too perhaps bil shouldn't dish it out if he can't take it

[@tabithadearth7507]

First Story's OP here's a virtual high five to you that was brilliant.

[@jayc7171]

S3; as an Artist Big NTA They shoulda refused at the start when op shown the picture Why does curvy automatically mean sexual to some people

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: ESH but the wife. If OP's parents are offended, that is on THEM. Their behavior is so atrocious that A) OP agrees that it is B) his wife doesn't want them in her house. OP offering to pay for the hotel negates the very punitive nature of having them in a hotel. If they want to act like assholes, they can not have the perks of family regardless of what they did for OP in the past. They constantly disrespect OP and his wife and are offended that the people they disrespect don't want them around and are now trying to guilt trip OP into not letting them suffer the consequences of their actions. And her parents have nothing to do with it. She was perfectly fine with them at the house until their behavior became too much to handle. It isn't a about who can afford what and her parents shouldn't even be in the conversation.

[@wascawywabbit0987]

Hubby is a mommy's boy.

[@dash9641]

@@wascawywabbit0987 Or just the product of manipulative parents. It's hard to break that cycle of wanting to appease your abusers, especially if they are a parental figure. OP even states he feels guilty because of the things they have done for him growing up like helping pay for college...not knowing that is something a parent is expected to do without any strings attracted in normal circumstances. I think he just needs to find a therapist to help him set boundaries and stick to them. But at the same time stick with his wife because it will help them both out in the long run if his parents stay in a hotel.

[@namename2040]

Story 4 NTA Everyone is saying OP is the AH for wanting to bring his parents back into the house when that literally isn't the problem. OP AGREES with wife about keep parents out. He simply requested "can we pay for their hotel?" OP at no point mentions asking them to stay over. He was referencing how her parents get to stay over when they can't afford a hotel. OP was doing nothing wrong trying to mediate, also wife seeing to have some unfair financial biased against OPs parents.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Story 1: If I was in OP's position, I would give BiL a really patronizing non apology. Something along the lines of, "I'm sorry you're so sensitive and can't take a joke." Then act like you have to walk on eggshells around him and constantly make sure he is ok and not offended at the smallest things. Like, if they are at dinner together, say to BIL, "I'm sorry you didn't get the biggest piece, life must be so difficult for you"

[@corimaever]

NTA on the artist one, i do commissions and I'm a SFW artist but have drawn all kinds of body types. I enjoy the diversity. Body type/shape has no determination on whether an art piece/avatar piece is SFW or NSFW. Jeez. Artist needs to pay OP back or finish the project properly.

[@divedweller4295]

Story 3 - Naturally NTA. If the artist was going to refuse to do the project as specified, they shouldn't have taken the commision. It sounds like they're just trying to guilt trip for the advance and run. What a POS.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Story 3: NTA- I'm a curvy chick as well, and if I paid for an anime style drawing of me but got one of a skinny chick I'd be pissed as well. When you ask for something to look like you, then the final product should, you guessed it, LOOK LIKE YOU!

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA yelling shouldn't even be a thing but OP is right. Mom needs to separate work business from personal business. She doesn't get to act like her boss when they are at home and off the clock.

[@ceeshnia]

Last Story: Come *on*, you said that your mother is getting "more and more manipulative" and you don't see their tantrum as just another avenue? Also, them helping you with college and whatever does in no way give them the right to harass your wife.

[@rynieryarom4277]

Story 3. The op has every right to a refund form the provider that refuse to provide the product. It can be a learning experience for the artist to agree for a deposit at the start

[@cocoidiea8643]

Story 3 triggers me a little. When I was at college I took event management the majority of it was managing that year's banquet where the yearbook is launched. The advertising was a project for the graphic design students. We gave them the scope based on the theme of the night. Two out of six met the brief. One made what they wanted to do kind of fit the brief. The others completely ignored the brief entirely so we really only had two to choose from.

[@ImperiousMax]

Story 3: NTA As an artists who does commission work myself, OP provided all the details, requested a specific body type and provided pictures as a detailed reference. The fact the artist is changing the details to something different than asked for and refuses to follow through is just a jerk move. OP is entitled to their money back, they're not getting what they asked and paid for.

[@strudel_reviews]

Story 1: Op and his wife need to cut out the entire family because they had just showed them where they rank

[@mpmansell]

Story 3: NTA. OP commissioned a picture and they accepted. Either they deliver as specified, or don't get paid and consider themselves lucky if OP doesn't complain publicly.

[@hanoh2904]

Oh the first story reminds me a another one a few weeks ago. It was the brother though. He gave op a best dad shirt when they couldnt have kids. What i can't get over is that the family allowed him to keep those "jokes" and never once told him to stop it

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: I would tell the "family" that until THEY apologise for all the crap(the clear favourtism for BIL), and he apologises for all HIS "brutal honesty" that their will be no further contact. This only has to last until they grow up and respect both OP and wife. If sister doesn't agree with BIL and supports OP, then they could just meet up without everyone else. BIL doesn't own sister and the children, she is their mother and can decide who sees them as much as he can. NTA story 3: Sorry but they were paid to provide a service. They are refusing to provide that service. They are use their "morals" as a way to basically body shame OP. OP isn't asking for n*des or lingerie clad characters. They are being ridiculous. They need to return the money or do what OP is asking for. NTA story 4: They clearly can't/won't respect OP's wife when they stay. I can't say for sure, but it does seem to be intentional, since they have been asked to stop but don't. The mother is now trying to use the "respect your parents", or "I let you so..." to force OP to do as she wants. Tantrums should NEVER be rewarded. The mother CAN change, but NOT in OP's home, and definitely NOT at the expense of OP's wife. She needs to do it in her own home and on her own time. They want OP to either choose between them and his wife, or "get the wife under control". OP should never be siding with parents that mistreat HIS wife. It not the same having her parents stay because OP doesn't mention them mistreating him. YTA

[@rylashadow18]

So the good news is that I'm getting close to the end of my course work. I feel so overwhelmingly happy about this too. I'm currently working on a special holiday emote for the upcoming season as we speak I hope it comes out nicely. Here's to a marvelously fantastic weekend for this amazing community, Mark and Poppy

[@digit5465]

As someone who is planning to try and do commissions in the future, im going for NTA on this. OP is the costumer and they have a request, if their request isnt up to their standards then they can ask for any changed or (if it really isnt to their standards or if they were stiffed to pay more or whatever) then they can ask for the money back. OP just wanted a model to be nearly like her and when she didnt feel satisfied with it she wanted to end the service

[@christianvacchelli1953]

story 1: 100% completly deserved, totaly NTA

[@Tammohawk1]

1. NTA I think that's funnier than hell personally. 4. YTA If people can't act like reasonable and civilized humans they can't stay in your home! Doesn't matter who they are. I open my doors to most people to come and stay with us, as long as they can act like a human being. But when people get snarky, look out! We all have barbed tongues in this house and we will slay you with words. lol

[@victorvaldez8869]

Story One: I think OP should respond to his folks that he was just being "Brutally Honest (TM)" with his BiL just like BiL is "just being honest" with everyone else. If he can't take it, he shouldn't be dishing it out. Stories Two & Three: You hit the nails on the head with your comments. Story Four: I'd say that a good compromise is to pay for a NO FRILLS hotel. That way Mom won't be antagonizing OP's Wife, & they aren't rewarded really for bad behavior. It serves the added benefit that if Mom steps over the line she can be thrown somewhere low stakes, instead of telling them the whole trip is over, if she says something to get thrown out of the house.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

3rd Story: NTA. If the artist was uncomfortable/incapable of meeting the specific demands of their Patriot, then they shouldn't take the commission. Plus, NSFW content is explicitly smexy not a full body sketch with a model that just happens to be thicc. (BTW Looking forward to participating in this month's challenge 😁🎃)

[@smalltinylittl1957]

Story 3: NTA! As an artist that takes commissions on and off, I can see all the things that are wrong with the artist of this story. First of, the specifics of the model were discussed upfront, I assume before OP send her money, and the artist approved them. I understand not wanting to do something that makes you uncomfortable BUT the artist KNEW. Also, that artist really has a twisted/sexist mindset to think curvy female bodies are sexual... they are just a body type. As someone with a curvy body too, I find this really insulting. It's like if the artist told a workout streamer "I won't draw you with all the muscles you worked hard for because detailed 6 packs and muscles are NSFW" IT'S NOT NSFW

[@FoolKillerDread]

Story 1: Don't start none, there won't be none. Op needs to ditch that toxic Ahole and his enablers. Story 2: Mom yells at OP then gives silent treatment. "Don't threaten me with a good time, keep with the silent treatment", is what OP should say to mom.

[@BruinPhD2009]

First story: OP, why is your sister married to this abusive tool? Why is your family coddling this abusive tool? Frankly, you don't have a BIL problem, you have a family problem.

[@Arthus850]

I was in a similar situation to OP in Story 2, where I worked for my dad in his business. Only problem was my dad wouldn’t accept that kind of argument. He complains about my work when I’m not working, I mention that he’s my boss at work and my dad at home, he angrily says, “when you work for me, I’m both at all times!” If I don’t do well at work, he does more than just workplace punishment, but also punishment at home like taking away my video games and other things. And because of all that, I knew that if I wanted to keep my home privileges and not be turned into the black sheep in the family, then I dare not quit, because there is zero percent chance that he wouldn’t take it personally and wouldn’t scream at and punish me at home. Luckily he sold the company soon after.

[@shannondalshaug686]

The other op wiho lives at home, apologize for yelling and hurting her feelings, however an adult discussion about work and home life needs to be had.

[@leopardnosepaws]

Story 3 NTA This is why commission list and rules are important. State what you are willing to draw or not draw. This artist needs to state what they are willing to draw and such and stick with it.

[@cpaul9269]

story 2 - I was in the exact same situation. My mom is a covert Narcissist. She and my wife were civil, but no love there. My wife finally told e that she hates the way mom treats me, and that's why no warm feelings. My Mom dislike my ex, b/c she couldn't control her. This is where I started to wake up from what I learned as a child, and started to recognize the passive-aggression, controlling, and manipulative behavior. I will always be grateful to my ex for helping me through that. i ended up going NC with my parents (dad is a wonderful guy, except he's also her enabler (out of fear and being beaten down over decades, I think) so i missed him, but had to do it. We did sort of reconcile for ten years - was never as close to mom as I was when completely under her control - but, true to form and all the therapists and shrinks' predictions, she started amping her shit up a few years ago, b/c i wasn't responding like i used to, and set clear boundaries and (this was a HUGE victory for my sad ass) kept to them (no visits more than two nights/3 days, not inviting the to mine at all anymore, etc.) So anyway, there was a blow-up at theirs 3 years ago, and I packed my shit, looked my dad in the eye, and said, "I'm sorry I can't do this anymore." and left. That was the last time saw mom in person. Dad comes down with some male cousins for an annual male bonding sailing trip, so I at least get to see him for that. NGL Covid helped, but I'm good now. OP, if you don't lay down the law and stick to it - especially with your wife involved - you will end up losing everything and everyone -except mommy - and that's exactly what she wants, even if its only subconscious. Anyone that would do anything that could put someone in the position she has put you in is NOT your friend, or a friend of your marriage. You sound, like I was, blinded by the way you were brought up - what do they call it, Stockholm Syndrome, kind of. We grew up thinking that kind of shot was normal - oh, its just mom, its just how she is...she doesn't mean any harm...she's just trying to help...Do some research on Covert Narcissism brother. Then try to come back and tell me some more excuses. And I will just come out and say this - your wife is telling you something here. Listen, or you will lose her. Good luck, man, and stay strong!.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 NTA, You were out of line???, HE is the asshole and out of line, no one holds him accountable for his abuse and bulling to your wife?? Tell them all to bugger off. His reaction is classic, dish it out but can not take it.

[@HectoGames]

Story 3: dude no matter what the reason is, theyre literally saying they dont wanna draw her because her body is "too nsfw". Thats not her fault thats just her body

[@littleolmee]

S1: NTA sounds like BIL has it coming. I wouldn't apologize, OP can schedule time with nephews & his sister without BIL. I'd go LC/NC with the parents & BIL. S2: NTA OP's mom needs to have some boundaries & I'd be asking for her to write up a job description about what all she expects at work & have a conversation about work stays at work & home is at home. S3: NTA OP was upfront about how she wanted it done, sent pics, & reminded them along the way for them to come out at this late point to say they were uncomfortable is wrong for them. If it was an issue it should have been talked about at the beginning. The artist owes OP their money back I wouldn't even want to deal with them anymore. S4: YTA. Parents are making OP fight with his wife & being manipulated. I'd tell mom that her actions have led to this, they will stay at a hotel if they are coming to visit & it's on them to pay for it.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@Mewse1203]

And same to you friend! Stay happy and safe!

[@FlamesofJagger]

Take care Broken 🙂 💕 💜 ❤ 💓 💖 🙂 much love 💘 ❤ 💗 💕 💛 💙 💘

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@FlamesofJagger u too m8 much love 💜💜🤗🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@Mewse1203 thanks you too m8💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@tracy_en6372]

You know the tiktok meme about everyone blowing up your phone after you say something in the group chat.. that's what the first story is giving..love it!!!

[@vicentebuentello6261]

Story 1: how come no one gets their butts kicked when they do this for so long? Man up and defend your wife.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - I would say go NC with this guy (even if it meant losing contact with his sister too) except that the nephews need a decent man in their lives to set them a better example than the shit they're seeing their father do. The book was the perfect "gift" for this A-Hole! Story 2 - Why do so many people think the answer to things like this is for the injured party to apologize to the bully?

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA So first, he accuses OP of being in love with...his own sister. That tells you he's the controlling jealous delusional type. Second he "jokes" about OP and his wife's infertility. Third, he can turn EVERY SINGLE EVENT OP and his wife throw back to him but OP gives him a book about narcissism after being forced to come to a party to celebrate him. No dude IS a narcissist. He can be "brutally honest" but when OP is as well OP is "disrespectful." The parents are awful. He gets to ruin every event they throw but OP is disrespectful for doing the same? No way. He literally invited them to A)get a gift B)get his rocks off by making OP and his wife feel bad

[@lina9535]

Story 3: as someone who draws and has done some commissions, you NEVER ask an artist to do something that they are uncomfortable with. I'm going to guess that OP, like mant other people, just found an artist and didn't look at their ToS/FAQ. If anything, half the payment is the standard in these cases. Usually like 2-3 revisions is when you can (depending on the artist) get almost 100% back, but after that, it's their time that's been "wasted" when they could have done other things. Like I was commissioned to do a 20k words story once (WoW based), and I was halfway done, hadn't gotten the payment (I used to do a "I'll show you the sketch, if it needs fixing I'll do that, but I won't send the finished thing to you until I have the payment", for stories I'd provide snippets), and then one day when I was maybe around 18k I get the "yeah this isn't what I had in mind", when I'd followed their instructions and gotten approvals.

[@J.Hill49]

I used to work with my mom and it was legit the best time I’ve ever had. My dad actually had to ban work talk between us at home! 😂👌

[@JayeEllis]

Story 3: NTA - You commissioned a work, and clearly outlined what you wanted. They accepted the commission, with those parameters. They don't get to take your money and leave you with nothing when the issue is them either not understanding and changing their mind or wasting your time. Either way, they pay for their mistake, not you.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 💜💜🤗🤗

[@carolroberts4614]

Hi Broken!Hope you're well! It's 4 in the morning, I fell asleep in the chair, and now I'm wide awake! It's nice to have company on here!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@carolroberts4614 I'm glad that you got some well deserved rest m8 but it's unfortunate that u woke up at 4 in the morning and can't go back to sleep, I hope that your day will be well much love 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@MediaWebCrawler]

For story 2.. aren't there literal laws that protect employees from their employers retaliating against them/punishing them? Like not just for whistle blowers, but for say.. belittling/going over every painstaking detail of their job with them in a condescending way because said employee displeased them by not licking their shoes to their satisfaction? OPs mother could probably stand to be reminded that bullying her employees could land her in some pretty hot water, espicially if this escalates much more and she fires OP for standing up for themselves in their personal life

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#3 NTA, They accepted the work and knew what you wanted, they have to pay you, your money back.

[@Cookie25559]

Story 3: I’m an artist myself and it’s like you know you can’t draw it like that so WHY ARE YOU ACCEPTING THE COMMISSION IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Like at that point it’s ur own fault But again to keep the peace I think a partial refund would be a good compromise

[@Bos187]

Story 1 NTA: Op was just teasing BIL

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! How are you doing tonight? I hope all is well and I wish you a great night!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@kazzuo32]

#1 Nta. When someone is an AH to you, they are giving you the right to be an AH back.

[@redsprout9347]

I don't even remember the winners being announced for the Christmas one

[@ItsCamille735]

They were.

[@redsprout9347]

@@ItsCamille735 when and where?

[@allanmoore4353]

Story one, if bIL's narcissism wasn't an issue and he didn't know it, he wouldn't be SO upset. Very revealing, isn't that too bad. 🙄

[@pansprayers]

Your mother takes second seat to your wife. The parents can stay in a hotel or stay home.

[@jaydenjezowski4339]

Story about narcissist. Get the family books about surviving a narcissist. 😁

[@catmintdragon2215]

story 3: the artist shouldn't have taken the commission if they weren't comfortable with it to the specifications of the client. If I say, ordered a chocolate cake and got a vanilla one, and was told the baker wasn't comfortable using chocolate, I'd certainly ask for my money back. It honestly sounded like the artist was hoping they could draw it to their comfort level and OP would just accept it.

[@JR-zi4bj]

Story 4 - I think OP NTA with suggesting that he & wife should pay for the hotel, or at least half. OP already proved his wife comes first, but for the sake of a few hundred dollars they would soothe me MIL's hurt feelimgs, likely leading to an improvement in attitude/behaviour towards OP & wife. Even if MIL is a PITA, she's still family, and hasn't dome anything horrific (yet?lol), so, OP's wife really should support his relationship with his mom when she can.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

Story 3: As an artist, I do not accept commissions of very fat or very muscular people/characters. This is not because I have an issue with the body types, but because I draw those body types very poorly compared to the rest of my art (due to lack of practice). If I ever have doubts the client won't like the quality of my art, I decline the commission.

[@katiesmith2031]

Hi Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful evening goodnight and sweet dreams much love 💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Sleep well m8 much love 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@katiesmith2031]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 thank you broken hope you are having a wonderful evening goodnight and sweet dreams much love 💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 thanks so much

[@SuperBatSpider]

Story 1:NTA. Sounds like he’s a golden child. See why he acts this way. Story 2:NTA. You should not apologize for setting up reasonable boundaries. Could you have been a little nicer? Yes. But the fact you still help her after all of this proves you are nice enough. Story 3:NTA. From the reaction of the family he sounds like a golden child. I think we can tell why he acts this way. Story 4:YTA. Do not allow your parents to walk all over you. If they were good parents they would not hold previous help over your head. She is manipulating you, kick your parents to the curb if they refuse to pay for a hotel.

[@marurei143]

I have a unique take on story 3: I am a vtuber model artist !!! - Ive been in the artists position before. the commissioner did everything right, they specified at the beginning they wanted large bust/butt and they agreed theyd do that. it just straight up DOES NOT matter what the artist's religion or culture is nor if theyre uncomfortable with it since the artist agreed to do it, then didnt do it. to get the artist to follow through with a refund I would say specifically to the artist: "You agreed to draw my body type when you were initially commissioned, If you had an issue with drawing what I wanted you should have discussed that with me before proceeding. As all artwork done so far is not what I asked for, I will be requiring a full refund and I will refrain from using any artwork up until now. I feel we should no longer collaborate to make this vtuber model. If a refund is not given in a timely manner, I'll take legal action." For what its worth, previous vtuber models Ive made on commission ive ALWAYS followed exactly what the commissioner wants me to do, and plenty of times ive designed/drawn/rigged something I didnt want to because I was being paid to do it. If I were in any other line of work, I wouldnt be able to just show up, demand payment and refuse to do anything im uncomfortable with. Thats not how work works.

[@HeilRay]

12:33 'Draw, the curves, bigot!' Also dump that friend if they don't give the money you spent if they said you're the asshole for wanting a full refund from the hack artist that intentionally took money knowing they weren't gonna follow through on the client's wishes.

[@HuskyMama1009]

Just ordered a Cheeky So&So sweatshirt! Will be freaking awesome! Oh, and the AHs are in abundance in this post --

[@Symphonia30]

Op is NTA in the first story but his entire family sucks for enabling this negative behavior. I can say for sure neither my mom or dad would never ever tolerate that shit. And they will be the first to call them out.

[@kristinecollier8113]

Love the background!!!!! Happy October Mark and Poppy!!

[@greendaywonka4872]

I love the Halloween edition. Awesome.

[@joreyn7656]

My husband told me I hat to wait until October to decorate for Halloween bc September was too soon. Today when he gets home from work, he will find the house fully decorated and spooktacular.

[@wheelsndealz]

Story 1. Violence isn't always the answer. But that means sometimes it is. He's lucky he didn't get punched in the face. Some people just need a good pop on the chin to correct their issues. If his parents didn't raise him right, and clearly people still aren't trying to change it. Maybe this will. But probably isn't based on the rest of the family.

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 3:* NTA. As both an artist and a very curvy woman, it infuriates me when people imply my body type is inherently sexual. I am not a sexual being. Just because I have a big butt and big breasts, doesn't mean I consent to my body being viewed in a sexual light. My body isn't inherently sexual. It isn't inherently erotic. It's my body and it should be respected just as equally as any other.

[@florinasrandomness]

I watched a video from you about 10 hours ago, that was pretty new and there is another one! It's amazing!

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

Story #3: Vtuber models are actually very difficult to modify. Also, breast and hip size in other countries CAN classify something as erotica, which is like. Illegal in some countries. They wouldn't be the AH if they don't use the model at all and got a refund. If they plan to use the model as a reference in another order, however, they owe the artist the money. Edit: Also, OP never provided actual pictures of themselves, it was drawings.

[@momotaro1236]

Story 3: NTA OP was upfront about what they wanted from the beginning, the artist wasn’t. If the artist wasn’t comfortable that’s fine they should’ve refused to take the commission waste a bunch of their time. Also just because their curvier doesn’t make them inherently sexual, there are plenty of curvier people out there that aren’t trying to look/be sexual.

[@lina9535]

Story 1: like always "brutally honest" is just code for being an AH

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

People talking about healthy boundaries and not quitting when A) the post was an AITA and B) the post was regarding the boundaries OP set.

[@BonnieThebunny7051]

I can't wait for Halloween 🎃🎃

[@paden1865able]

Don't want your parents in a hotel? Fine, stick 'em in a tent in the backyard. Technically, they're still staying at your place.

[@JD-mh8be]

I haven't even heard the story yet and I already love op of story 1 Edit: why tf would sister marry a guy like this he sounds terrible maybe think about lowering contact with her if she decides to continue being with someone who's this terrible to you for no reason

[@ApricotStone]

Story 4: My mom (as well as me and I brother) hate my dad's parents, but my dad still loves them. Currently, our house doesn't have a guest room, but when we had one, my dad's parents would always stay in a hotel that we paid for when visiting. I just think for a situation like my dad's and OP's, paying for the hotel really is the best option. Of course, the wife needs to compromise on that too. Really, I don't think anyone's the ahole in the story

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 3, OP isn't the asshole here. She made a contract with someone to draw her and in the end, they're using sexual excuses for not doing the work. I used to draw and I took courses for graphic design as well. When you take on a contract in graphic design, you do what the client wants. You give them your best plus another option or two if they don't like it. In no way do you ever take a contract, get paid for it and refuse to do what the client wants. You don't do this because you'll end up with a bad review or reputation. In OPs case, the person who accepted the contract with her is being an asshole here. This person is putting their opinions on OP when she never asked for it. She wanted an avatar image that resembles her, not what they believe she should look like. If a person is overweight, are they gonna do a drawing of the person looking like a stick figure? If a person is a bodybuilder, are they gonna make a drawing of a "nerd"? Because, the way they sound like, this is what they will do. OP isn't the asshole here and they either do the job properly or refund her money... They're breaking their contract with OP.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Yay Halloween Theme! Love it! 😁

[@mr.willie9578]

I Geuss the brother-in-law can’t handle the truth