Fiancee's Bridesmaid Said I Wanted One Of Her Friends, I Want Her Out Of Our Wedding r/Relationships

[@GBunnyG]

Reddit comments focus on the weirdest things.

[@Swnsasy]

Right?! It's so dumb.. This had absolutely NOTHING to do with them drinking.. Weirdo's I swear.. They also make judgments based off information that has nothing important or to do with the question...

[@loganjoh1]

Reminds me of the story where a teenage girl who’s mom cheated on her dad and he had a period of alcoholism but got sober yet Reddit kept calling her dad a deadbeat alcoholic despite the fact OP said multiple times that he had been sober for years at that point. They really fixate on the smallest details sometimes.

[@Swnsasy]

@@loganjoh1 Oh yea! I remember that. Over and over they kept bringing that up instead of what she was actually talking about...

[@keshaponso2034]

Omg yes. It like reddit think AITA is an on-going story that is a kin to a similar situation, and they download all their emotions from that 'other' situation

[@hi_stranger9156]

@@loganjoh1 yeah i remember that one. If i'm not mistaken,the mom having an affair with the dad's friend right?

[@aawyfroggy723]

Where are all these YTA and NAH judgements coming from? She insinuated that he was a cheater and a potential predator, ofc he wants her cut off.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

When she was wasted. Before taking such a drastic measure, they say, he has to make sure that she actually meant it.

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP should have told his fiance sooner, but he is NTA. The YTAs are probably drunk shit-talkers.

[@johnbradbury8610]

The fact that his fiance is still friends with the woman who basically said OP was trying to cheat with his drunk friend shows her lack of respect for OP.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

@@johnbradbury8610 did you hear the update? They confronted her and she apologised and said that she was drunk and of course didn't think he was a bad person. OP forgave her and admitted that he was not thinking straight in anger.

[@lynnw7155]

It's such high school drama. "Trembling with anger"? Still furious days later? Get a grip, man.

[@cb9825]

30 years of mortgage for someone else's house? That's a firm no obviously 👀

[@madambutterfly1997]

That's disgusting. she thinks so little of you, that she perceived your kindheartedness as you having ulterior motives

[@precious_toebeans]

I mean the update should really help this opinion of what occurred, but it's okay if you stopped the video there.

[@aikikaname6508]

I mean, she genuinely regretted her dumb drunken comment, apologised and went above and beyond to make amends to OP AND his friend.

[@alisonzunguze8183]

Something is on that woman. And he picked it. It's a shame no one is listening.

[@NottyAries]

Exactly.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: I’m confused at the comment section saying he’s the ahole. The girl accused him of trying to r*pe a girl who was drunk. Then tried to pass it off as a joke. How is that OP being insecure??? How is that him overreacting??? I’m really confused how that is his fault for not wanting a girl who thinks r*pe *“jokes”* are funny? What would’ve happened if the other girls didn’t have his back?? Would they have text the fiancée the next morning accusing him because he was gone for 20 minutes and assumed he assaulted her instead of helping the friend while the friend puke? I’d never want someone around me who would think or joke or comment about me like that, especially on my wedding day. That situation could’ve gone real bad real fast.

[@they.lovekt]

exactly! jokes are suppose to be funny wtf is funny about r*ape? Idk how he’s the ah he wasn’t overreacting I wouldn’t wanna be around her either those type of ppl are dangerous to be around .

[@keshaponso2034]

I find that there is little empathy for those accused of assult. It's not easy to shake it off once it's been said. I'm glad that things worked out for OP.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

@@cassiereno114A remark like that comes from something other than being drunk. Booze just lowers inhibitions. Sometimes people say what they've been thinking all along. That bridesmaid definitely thought he wanted to get into his friend's pants. She just decided to apologize to keep the peace and stay in the bridal party.

[@keshaponso2034]

@cassiereno114 Why does he have to talk to the person who made hateful accusations? If anyone he should talk to his finance. He is on no way an AH is he asked his fiance to kick her out. That's the way it made him feel. If the fiance wants to plead her case, talk to her friend.. then that's on her. It's ridiculous that he's an AH for asking after being accused. Pure sexism and victim blaming. I bet if OP was female, and a drunk guy said that, she would not have to confront him and discuss it. He's allowed to ask, they allowed to kick her out for her actions when drunk. This is not funny. We're talking about Rape.

[@keshaponso2034]

@hodgeelmwood8677 thanks for saying it. Some people really like to discount actions whilst drunk.

[@Boundwithflame23]

6:34 “She made a dumb little joke” Excuse me? Since when was insinuating that someone was going to take advantage of a drunk friend a fucking _JOKE_ ?! Edit after update: I don’t think OP overreacted. That shit isn’t funny. Fiancé’s friend made amends but I personally wouldnt be so quick to forgive if it were me.

[@HeliosX28]

I would have said oh it's a joke, okay please explain how you accusing me as a Predator and a rap*st is a joke... I'll wait

[@mgaus]

Before the update he didn't over react. His life could have ended from that "dumb little joke" with prison and a registry

[@NottyAries]

I agree. I'm super annoyed that people were downplaying it. I would be pissed if my boyfriend's friends made a comment like that about me or my boyfriend.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Op is so goddamn naive she doesn't even realize that the people she's talking down to are more kind and compassionate than she's giving them credit for. They just know bullshit when they see it and aren't afraid to call it out. That doesn't make them any less compassionate or empathetic to boyfriend's family situation.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: NEVER, EVER, be a co-signer for something as massive as a house! If they default on the loan, you will be on the line for the full amount. DON'T DO IT.

[@toothless3835]

At least not without your name on the title.

[@wvanyar1801]

@@toothless3835 , not even then. Unless your name is the only name on the title. A joint title means both parties need to agree to sell the home. If one party refuses to help pay the mortgage, you are stuck. You either have to pay the mortgage on your own or lose the house. Both of you get your credit rating messed up. Never buy property with anyone unless there is a contractual agreement, whether marriage or a business agreement.

[@lynnw7155]

People who can't afford to own a house shouldn't own a house. DON'T sign a loan for someone else's house. Give them their cats and their daughter and live your own life.

[@gigga143]

S2: OP was about to let her boyfriend’s family snow her and the “dad’s” reaction shows it. she’s still too naive to recognize it which is why she’s still defending it.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

It sounds as if they are here illegally as well. At this point that doesn't seem to be a big issue to the Govt. but that can and WILL change after this next election. That could really leave the OP in a bind. Even if they didn't get deported or laws got stronger, since they are not citizens, the OP would really have no legal recourse if for some reason things went south with them or even her boyfriend. You can't sue non-citizens and really win much if anything.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Yep, if they don't have Social Security numbers they must be undocumented. Even if someone is in the US temporarily on a work visa they still have to get a Social Security number and the only way to get an SSN is to be in the country legally. You can legally work in the US if you have one of several different work visas, have Permanent Resident Status, or are a citizen of the US.The visas can often be renewed, but even if they are here on a work visa they still get a Social Security Number and may have to pay income taxes to the US. They could be here illegally *or* they may be here legally, but are lying to OP to get her to accept responsibility for the mortgage on their house for them. Either way, OP needs to run far and fast away from *all* of them, including the BF.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@bunnyslippers191Yes, regardless, signing a mortgage for them would seriously damage her ability to get one for her and her boyfriend in the future. Mortgage companies don't care if you have someone else paying off the mortgage, they want to see some serious capital coming in to write another mortgage for another home. It's almost impossible for the average person to do it. The best way for her would be to start a small corporation that purchases homes for "rental purposes" and then if she put the homes/mortgages under the corporation she MIGHT get it, but then again, the corporation would need to have been in business for several years. It's just much easier to just say, "No, Sorry I can't tie up my credit for the next 10-20 years on your mortgage".

[@sylviajones6745]

Yikes, if she signed, the boyfriend of the mother would say, well you signed for it, you make payments. She'd play hell getting them out.

[@bessieburnet9816]

People seriously hudged him YTA? Ugh, 🙄 double standards. She implied he's cheating just because he helped a friend that happened to be of the opposite sex. He has every right to not want her there.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

She also implied that he is a r*pist (implying that he would be taking advantage of the friend’s severely drunken state).

[@natashahenry5044]

Right. She said he wants to cheat on his future. People know damn will if one of his friends said that about her, they would have been like dash the friend away.

[@ElleD308]

Reddit hates men with all their heart, anything they do is YTA, wmen can kill and they're NTA

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Yeah it’s f-d up. My partner has had a couple people accuse him of being a creep because he, * gasp * doesn’t avoid speaking to women and treats them the same as men. 😑

[@AngelaVEdwards]

@@scarletgoldenthorn Yeah I think that's the part he has the biggest problem with, actually.

[@thylionheart]

Story 2: I’m torn between admiring OP’s empathy and feeling concerned over her apparent naïveté

[@wvanyar1801]

I'm right there with you. In story 2 OP is very naïve. The father knew enough to propose that OP be put on the loan, but not the title. No the Dad was scamming her and she doesn't see it. A few Internet searches would be enough to know how it all works.

[@dzas_cave]

7:26 this made me mad he's being accused of wanting to rape his friend as a man if I was accused of going to rape someone or my friend I will be pissed the hell off

[@sarahhapka3647]

I love how OP in Story 2 said that there were no nefarious reasons behind the bf's family yet in the next breath said that they weren't going to do any of the stuff they said they would for the bf. OP needs to grow up. Besides, I don't know any landlord anywhere that would allow 9 cats. She may even get in trouble with her own landlord for having them all there. Plus I can't imagine how bad the litter boxes must smell. Gross!

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I don't think taking in the cats was in the plan, just letting the sister move in. The cats, from what I can tell, would stay with mom and dad.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Definitely a disgusting comment, insinuating OP is a cheater that takes advantage of his inebriated friend, but it does sound like a drunk or dark joke. OP should talk to his fiancé first and foremost, and then they can move as a unit. If fiancé brushes OP off then there’ll be a bigger problem.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Like what even is the joke? "Haha OP is definitely a r*pist!" Like, what's the punchline?!

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

@@TortoiseNotTurtle It’s low-tier dark humor, I guess.

[@aspidistraeliator]

Drunks often say what they actually think, saying oh b it was "just" a bad joke later

[@owenfautley]

But what about the saying 'drunken words are sober thoughts'.

[@katypurrito4429]

My take on it is that particular friend(?) is a shit stirrer and dearly loves to cause trouble. Edit: After watching the update, seems it worked out. Still, her comment was so out of line and disrespectful to him and his friend, I didn't see his reaction as an overreaction. The comment was mean, small minded, and designed to stir up trouble. Sure she redeemed herself but I wouldn't trust her going forward.

[@13thMaiden]

Story 2) 9 cats?! I work at a rescue and we currently have 10 cats on the property, all of which have their own house/catio to share. Even then we have to stay on top of doctoring, feeding, cleaning, ect since it's a communal space for them until we can get them adopted. 9 cats in a rental space is on hoarding levels!! Also OP totally missed learning from the "no", because it's clear while her BF and mom are reasonable, that "Dad" isn't and probably wanted to use her. Nah-uh, go rent somewhere else, try to get a reference somewhere else.

[@katphish30]

We currently have 7 of our own cats plus a foster cat in a whole 4 bedroom house, and that's a little much. I should play this for my husband the next time he gets annoyed about the foster cat. 🙀

[@LadyLeomon]

Looks like I’m a hoarder then, cos my family has more than you 😅😅😅

[@LadyLeomon]

@@katphish30​​⁠true story (get a cuppa this will be a long one) - a cat gave birth in a neighbour’s canoe, the came from from a holiday and their dogs scared her off leaving her 4 newborn kittens alone. Their granddaughter, a classmate of my niece, suggested they were “Niece’s nanna’s cats” because my mother is known for helping people with their cats and rehoming strays. They came to to her, she contacted the cat rescue she works with, they took the kittens to an emergency foster and left us with a cat trap to hopefully catch Momma if she came back. Early hours of the same night they called my mother to say they caught her, she came back looking for her babies! We got her comfy in a cat crate, the next morning the rescue lady brought them back and Momma just took them all back no hesitation, I was sceptical cos the neighbours, well-meaning though they were, put the kittens in a carrier with a blanket that _stunk_ of dog, but no Momma was fine. Then literally in front of us the rescue lady got a call about another litter of kittens, without a mother, who needed help. She asked us if we would be open to fostering until they were old enough for rehoming, we agreed. It was such an experience seeing them litter train themselves watching their Momma, develop their own personalities then choosing names, etc. Finally they got to be 5 months of age, Momma had been spayed to prevent more kittens (but not before freaking us out with a false labour), the babies (3 boys, 1 girl), were all spayed/neutered and ready for new homes … Only for the rescue to turn around and tell us “we can only take the grey kitten, the mother and 3 black kittens will be euthanised because 23 can’t rehome black cats” … what the f*cking f-ck? We’d watched them grow from 3 weeks old to 5 months, we were attached, we loved them all, so we officially adopted Momma and all 4 babies, Momma and the babies will be 8 years old this year (she was a kitten herself), they’re all such characters and while they drive me nuts some days I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s hard but they are worth it. Bless you for rescuing your feline friends 💙🐱💙 Disclaimer: Black Cats do NOT give witch powers, we already had an adult female black cat when they came along, we now have 5 black cats and I have yet to develop a single witch power … I feel a bit cheated honestly 😅😅😅

[@justKorppi]

I was laughing as Mark mentioned that. I currently have five family cats and three fosters. Thank heavens I have a good sized house so they have the space to feel comfortable. I can't imagine having them all in a one bedroom apartment!

[@kateworkman921]

@@LadyLeomon Your cat story sounds similar to mine. We already had a black cat named Scratchy (no, not after the Simpsons character.) Then, this mother cat started hanging around our house. She had three kittens, all three black, with white spots on their chests. They became Pepper, Sammy, and Stevie. (One boy, two girls.) So we had four. Mother cat then has another litter. They became Tigger, Felix, and Fidget. We rehomed Felix and Fidget, kept Tigger. The guys at my bus stop knew we had cats, so one night, they came to my house with a white and gray kitten and asked if it was mine. This became Powder. Pepper, Sammy, and Stevie were fixed by this point, Tigger wasn't. About a week before he was gonna be, he and Powder got busy, and at about seven months old, she gave birth to five kittens. We kept one, Jerry, and rehomed the other four. Then, two other cats started hanging around our house. They became Rusty and Gray. (I'd named them all. Once I got to Gray, I was done. I was like, "That's what color you are, that's your name!") This is very condensed, it actually happened the summer of '95 through the winter of '96-'97. So about a year and a half for us to take all of them in. But yeah, six of the nine were related. Four being brothers/sisters, (half brother in Tigger's case,) and then "marriage," (Tigger and Powder,) and Jerry being son/nephew. But omg, I will NEVER have more than two EVER again.

[@NoNameTheFirst]

No, OP. You are NTA if you talked to your fiancee about removing one of her bridesmaids from the wedding party after she insinuated that you would cheat on your fiancee by SA'ing or graping your inebriated friend. Are people actually crazy? Who in their right mind would vote YTA on this??? Bridesmaid either joked or genuinely believe OP could do such a vile thing, either way is absolutely grounds for at least having this discussion with fiancee. Reddit is wilding

[@precious_toebeans]

In the last story, i dont pity the poverty that drove this decision that spawned this post SOLELY based on how many cats they keep. That is an insane expense if you are doing pet ownership correctly, and if you arent doing it correctly, that is also a problem. They sound like they are a whirlwind of bad decisions, I am so glad this OP knew this was a bad idea and got out.

[@polopuik9198]

I don't blame the man, when some random questions not only your faithfulness but also that you're using the rough patch your friend to get laid, I'd be seeing red and at that moment I just would be looking for reasons NOT TO go nuclear scorched earth, glad he was enough levelheaded to seek validation while his being was just asking for her blood

[@v_doll]

Right?? Insinuating he'd cheat if the opportunity presented itself is horrible on its own, but if someone accused me of wanting to rape someone (because that's what it is) they'd be thrown out the door the very next second.

[@MarkNarrations]

Mwahaha, so we meet again my friend

[@maggpiprime954]

🤗💖

[@FlamesofJagger]

I see you you spicy so-and-so 🎉😂

[@TH-hy9kr]

We're here to hang out with you and Poppy. 🧇❤

[@Odd_Interaction]

I should've known that you'd return……

[@Odd_Interaction]

Come and join me in my pain You're the reason I remember Every sweet and sad charade So we meet again my heartache Hold the glasses stilled with wine I hope you join me in my toast, my ghoulish host And maybe stay a while this time.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - All the YTA are way over the top. I was in disbelief at how ridiculous they were being. I don’t at all see how wanting to ask if she could be removed was an overreaction, and trying to twist it as OP feeing “guilty” is just icing on the cake. I’m glad it worked out but I feel bad that OP feels like he was indeed the AH.

[@stargazer378]

Standard reddit double standards. Pro tip: If you're a guy dealing with relationship issues, I suggest anything other than reddit. They got a real hate boner against guys.

[@welshbandit7208]

​@@stargazer378 or never mention anyone's gender, if able.

[@IzzyCoventina]

I absolutely HATE the people that say OP is overreacting & saying YTA in story 1. You don't make a joke about your friends soon-to-be husband (whom you've clearly known for some time) essentially SA someone who is heavily inebriated. As someone who's been SA & have gotten heavily drunk at trusted friends houses I know would NEVER do that to me, it's something you never joke about. Drunken words are sober thoughts. I hope I am incorrect but we'll see. Edit: I'm glad I was incorrect about the friend but the rest of my comment still stands about the verdict & other people's comments.

[@SelectCitizen]

This is exactly what I was thinking. I thought OP would be extremely upset that someone thought he would take advantage of someone vulnerable.

[@Lady.B0420]

​​@@SelectCitizenthat isn't even what he was upset about. He was more worried about if people thought he had romantic feelings for his "friend". Which honestly, the way he talks about her, sounds accurate.

[@SelectCitizen]

@@Lady.B0420 ik that isn't what OP was upset about, but I said "i thought". It seems like a much bigger deal to me that someone could see a friend's fiance as a predator.

[@NoNameTheFirst]

He wasn't overreacting. If anything he was underreacting. It's very kind of OP that he cares so deeply about his friend, but the bridesmaid's joke that he is not only manipulative, but is also depraved enough to SA/grape his friend is deserving of removal from the wedding party. The YTA replies are crazy

[@azariazulu]

I agree 👌🏾 Reddit people are honestly too much sometimes

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

What?? I'm sorry, there is NO good way to take, "He wants to get in her pants." You can only take that literally, and OP was completely in the right for feeling offended. It was NOT an overreaction, I don't care if the person who said it was drunk. He even pointed out that they hadn't had more than 3 or 4 drinks each, so the bridesmaid definitely was thinking that OP might have a thing for his friend. She just covered it up well by apologizing and trying to be nicer to his friend.

[@kg5626]

Story#1: It is crazy how many people think the OP is the AH. The friend accused him of trying to rape. It is disgusting and OP did not overreact. It is a good the brides maid profusely apologized.

[@MCBRUCE76]

S2: OP was defending her BF's family more than she should have, but look how the tables turned against them in the end, when the dad stated that "Since OP and her BF were not helping them procure a home loan, he wouldn't be helping to pay off BF's credit card debts" LMAO, that's a nail straight to the head of OP and her BF. How much of a difference are we talking about here between credit card debts Vs the home loan of 30 years.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

The way I look at it, if the BF's "dad" can afford to help pay off that credit card, then he can afford to rent a new place. It's just going to be harder with 9 cats. It's hell to have to rehome a pet, but if it's best for the pet, you do it.

[@MCBRUCE76]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 LOL, I totally forgot about the 9 cats. That sounds awful to live with 9 cats in a one-bedroom house. Of course, the Dad can pay, but he wants somebody else to take over the main financial burden and weight on their heads.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I wonder if the credit card was used to “help” the family. If so, then dad not helping to pay the debt is wrong. If it wasn’t, then it’s on the boyfriend to pay off his debts. It was written as if the parents would help pay to get his credit score up so he could get the loan for them, but since OP/bf said no, then they’re not going to help. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@MCBRUCE76]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Don't you see the irony. They didn't help, these two helped them with credit cards and are now left to pay it up.

[@madambutterfly1997]

I truly do feel for her cheated on miscarrying potentially her only chance at having a child followed by a falling out with her family. I truly hope she's doing well in her healing process. Personally, I can't do the slowly healing, I have to expedite my own healing process otherwise I'd be AFK from life for a whole ass decade

[@YellaBellaReno]

If I had a dollar for every woman I knew who got pregnant when they were told it was impossible, I could take us both to Disney World for the day. Doctors have just been telling women that left and right for decades. When I had my last appointment with my new OBGYN, one of the first things she asked was, “Have you been told you couldn’t have kids or that it would be extra difficult?” She wanted to make sure that wasn’t effecting my decision making process, because she says she hears from a patient that has been prematurely discouraged every day.

[@katphish30]

Nine cats in a one bedroom?! 🙀 I've had up to eight in an 800 sq ft house, and trust me when I say that's too many. We currently have eight in a house twice that size and it's almost too many. I'm looking forward to our foster cat being able to go home.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Hell, where did you find 8 cats that get along with each other? I have had 2 cats for 9 years and they just barely tolerate each other! All hell breaks loose if one gets too close to the other. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

[@jeaniebee3657]

i would not even let or encourage my family to ask my SO to sign a mortgage for them...id tell my SO tell them HFing no.

[@ReformingRegent]

Story 1: Reddit never fails to disappoint and annoy me

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: Why was the landlord mad at them about the fire? Feels like important info missing tbh. Also why 10 cats? Ffs, they are renting and accumulating cat? I am disgusted only at the idea of the smell of that house.

[@kp2223]

I'm very concerned about the reason for the fire, too. And if they were renting before, why do they need to buy a house now?

[@hi_stranger9156]

@@kp2223 i'm assuming the OP have good credit score and make more than the bf,i guess. But jeez,asking OP to be co-signer for mortgage is huge ask especially OP is just girlfriend not a wife. What happen if OP break up with the bf? It will get messy if they break up on bad term.

[@kateemma22]

RIP your credit score, OP2. DON'T DO IT.

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: As the phrase goes, "Drunken words, sober thoughts." The witch thinks OP1 is genuinely only nice to his friend because he wants to sleep with her. If this is really a huge problem for him, he needs to tell his bride this. COMMUNICATE. After update: Communication for the win! I'm glad the friends called her out and told the bride. By communciating, everything was resolved (and pups are so good at getting humans to give them treats). S2: I see OP2 isn't realizing that there is a third, more nuclear, option: Run far and run fast! I'm not saying the "break up and run away option" Is kind, but this is way too big an ask and a BAD idea. If OP2 and the BF were married, maybe. HOWEVER, they're not. What if they break up? How will OP2 untangle herself in that scenario? After update: The BF has his head on straight and his mother's live-in partner sounds like a user.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Hey, we're in an apartment, let's have 9 cats! At least OP had the sense to not go into getting a mortgage. You'd be stuck with them forever.

[@megaspit]

One bedroom with NINE cats?? Yeah, OP2 is nowhere near responsible enough for a massive loan

[@annabagel01]

I mean, they're not THEIR cats. I agree it's a hell of a lot of cats for a space that's too small for them to thrive in, but it's an emergency solution to an emergency situation. Family helps family, but I definitely do agree; there's a difference between temporarily housing pets and signing on to a 30 year mortgage 😂

[@YellaBellaReno]

I think you missed the part where they are not her cats?

[@SoulScore88]

I'd still be warry of the girl in the first story. If OP ever finds himself having to take on extra hours at work or have to go somewhere for an emergency she will start whispering that same shit in his wife's ear. "Oh yeah, my ex was like that too, saying he had to stay later."

[@madambutterfly1997]

She's only still a bridesmaid because she went above and beyond to make amends at her own personal expense. I'm still skeptical on whether or not she's genuinely remorseful about what she said and genuinely wants to make things right

[@jillimi]

Oh, I’m pretty sure she is not. If the roles were reversed, I’m sure Redditors would destroy the (male) friend, and he wouldn’t be a groomsman anymore.

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

@@jillimiwhy are you pretty sure she’s not? Because people can literally only be perfect and a single flaw means they are insidious and can never have different feelings on the matter?

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@shadamyandsonamylover That's not a casual comment people make. She's sick in the head.

[@BraveryWing26]

I was unhappy that Second OP called her Boyfriend's Mother's Boyfriend dad because he's not and doesnt deserve the title... But "Dad" is so fitting and so awesome

[@uncle0eric]

Story 1 worked out better than expected. Bridesmaid apologized, explained, but then actually took meaningful steps to improve things.

[@YellaBellaReno]

The Reddit double standard is dialed all the way up for the first story, eh? All he was asking was if he would be an asshole for even bringing this up with his fiancé, because he tried to give it the weekend to let the anger fade and it hadn’t.

[@tuckersontim]

1st story, OP did not overreact. he did not blow up on anyone. He waited and asked for advise from Reddit and than spoke to his SO about how her statement made him feel without lashing out. he did everything right.

[@TheAlphaDingo]

How is OP getting called the YTA by those reddit users. He was insulted and had his character and integrity questioned. Why should he have to pay for someone like that at his wedding? The alcohol just reveals thoughts the Bridesmaid already had floating around in her mind.

[@1tommyday]

S2 NINE CATS!!! That's all I heard I don't understand why the parents are asking this of OP. Surely they had home insurance and could take that money and rent an apartment until they perhaps can rebuild or buy another home. Asking someone to sign onto a mortgage is suspicious. I think they want a free place to live while they pocket the insurance money

[@ravengal53193]

I’m not sure if you caught it, but they were renting. Which makes the 9 cats all the more ridiculous. They didn’t like their landlord so they wanted to “own” a house, but couldn’t swing one on their own

[@FirstNameLastName-mg1px]

I've heard a lot of stupid shit in my time on this Earth but I've never heard somebody say something as stupid as "Should I put my name on a 30-year mortgage for my BOYFRIEND'S family?" Girl what the fuck is your actual damage? Like are you okay? 🤨 Then to say that the sister will HAVE to move in with them is crazy! Don't even get me started on the 9 damn cats smfh! This whole thing screams "I need intensive therapy" and that there was a lack of love in her life because the amount of people-pleasing this girl is willing to do for her BOYFRIEND'S family is diabolical work!

[@alexlibby5087]

Story 1: WTH Reddit?? NTA Her drunken comment implied that OP was a r*pist - he would not only cheat with his friend, but do so while she is inebriated & vulnerable. I do not blame any person at taking deep offense to such an accusation. It’s just not a funny joke. I understand not cutting her off but way off base too say it would be red flags if their partner was so up in arms over the comment 🙄

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: the YTA judgment makes no sense. Not only was it a comment that insinuated that OP was cheating on his fiancé but it also could be implied that she was saying he would take advantage of a drunk woman that is definitely something you can and should be mad about. The update was a positive one but that YTA judgment is such a Reddit moment.

[@Akemi.24-45]

Hiiiiiii, Mark and Poppy! Big hugs from Tōkyo. ♥️🤗

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey hey, hope you're doing well matey. Have a wonderful week :)

[@videofan1010]

The 2nd OP isn't even married

[@gxr7777]

So no Fire Insurance? How is that your issue? Lets see they can't afford a place to live but they can afford 9 cats? Why would you destroy your credit for people that do not have their priorities in order? You know a roof over their head, utilities, food, and a vehicle? You would not be able to get a business loan.

[@yamairad1]

You could be married for 10 years and still not do this. You shouldn't even do this for your own parents and kids. It's insane and should never even be considered. Especially if you don't own your own home.

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

Not that I would do it but some people actually care about others enough to help them in any way they can. You are acting like OP hates these people. If you actually love someone you will do things you wouldn’t normally do for them. And if she did choose to do it that wouldn’t make her stupid or anything else. OP was right. The people commenting about her post really have no idea what they are talking about.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

The fire insurance was the landlord's responsibility. It was his property.

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 not true. Most residents have to get their own fire insurance and it’s not generally included. Additionally, if the fire is your fault it’s possible insurance wont cover it. Source: am renter.

[@gxr7777]

Fine renter ins then?@@hodgeelmwood8677

[@jumpmain]

1. This one of those "silly" old jokes that everyone repeats. Good for the friends to call her out and explain why. I think is really telling that she acknowledge her mistake, apologized and tried to make up for it

[@Neyfufu00]

19:39 you can't ask people for empathy when you asked a question and got answers. The toxic needs therapy but the people who give you fair yet honest answers that you don't like is stuff you need to hear because if you don't then you'll be stuck in the conflicting thought on whether you should or shouldn't do something when you already have the answer you were just not willing to choose it.

[@sovereigncrux]

Story 1: It was a "joke" because none of the other people present bought into what she was trying to insinuate about OP and his friend. What if they hadn't shut her down, how much would it have escalated? Story 2: OP wants to ask the internet if she should co-sign a home mortgage for her "deeply in debt" boyfriend's parents where the house and paperwork would be in her name, so she would be liable for all payments and insurance for the next 30+ years. Clearly boyfriend is irresponsible with money, and as there's no marriage on the table then why should she be responsible for his parent's house...? Not seeing the rationality of this situation or why she needed to ask the internet if she should do it. I can only imagine what a pushover she has been with them already.

[@natashahenry5044]

I swear some of these Reddit commenters much have reached some different type of enlightenment. Because if my future husband friend implied that I wanted to sleep with one of my friends, drunk or not, I would have pissed. Could you say uninviting or straight up removing her from the wedding party is a bit much sure, but, what she said was disrespectful, joke or not.

[@s4rcelle]

The double-standards in story 1's reddit comments, LMAO: If OP was a woman and the drunk friend in question was a man saying that she just wanted to get in the pants of a male friend while he was a shitty situation, that man in question would be crucified in the Reddit comments. Instead, they're judging the OP as the asshole? I have to laugh. Additionally I love OP referring to their puppy as their "dummy son" lmao that's so wholesome 😂

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Wholesome update on bridesmaid story.

[@spockezri]

that first story had the sweetest update!! i'm so glad everyone is getting along now.

[@NakaidaBeauzec]

People tend to tell the truth when drunk

[@ChangedWinds]

Story 1: The comment from the user about how "I would be suspicious if my fiance asked me to remove one of my brides maids" is the kind of mentality why men can't share their feelings of discomfort and stress, or else "my first thought was if they're trying to hide something". It's depressing and gross. Why is it normal for me (f) to tell my future husband (m) to block one of his male friends from attending cause he said something similar about me, but it's not the same for men?

[@vegaskullkid4503]

As a man, your comment makes me happy because I sometimes wonder if any women realize how often a guys feelings of discomfort are dismissed or seen as controlling due to one reason or another. I know women deal with a ton of problems I may never truly understand but it’s disheartening when a man can go through a similar situation and be told he’s wrong for his feelings

[@annem7806]

If one of your Groomsmen was drunkenly rude to your fiancee, explain to her why he would be given his walking papers. Be clear with your fiancee. Tell fiancee IMMEDIATELY. Invite bridesmaid to your home when fiancee is home. NOT ALONE, or she will LIE!!!!

[@annem7806]

No, no,no. They have other family. This is too much to ask. BF should have stopped them. Dump him too. Do you want to live w all those cats? How TF does his sis live there in YOUR one bedroom. NO!!! Did they cause the fire???

[@funkgraphiczllc1641]

Story 2 is why I’m single because absolutely not 😂

[@Swnsasy]

I absolutely LOVE Mark's intro.. It's like the absolute best! I talk along. Mark, you ever change that I'm going to hunt you down and tweeze every single shin hair one by one!! 😂

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 2: It's better to have the bf's sister to live with them than to have her name on a mortgage loan.

[@nannexrunner7252]

Hi Mark, I do actually live in a house with 20 cats. They're all well- taken care of, but they do make quite a mess. They make up for it in cuddles though!

[@BraveryWing26]

The first story had such sweet ending. I am so glad it did.

[@FlipTheBard]

Wow, first time in a story where someone does/says something awful and then they not only recognize they screwed up but they don't make excuses for it!They own it and they try hard to make amends for it. You honestly don't see much of this in MOST stories.

[@sparten316]

For the story with the cats. Absolutely no. And 9 cats is a lot of animals to take in. Why can't they afford even one cardboard scratchpad? If given an outlout for their desire to stretch and massage their paws/claws. They don't do it on furniture or walls. I have several floating around and I only have one cat.

[@voltzzswagga5301]

I don't get the YTA comments. Reddit always tends to say "Drunk words are Sober thoughts." I guess that only applies for cheating not when a man is accused of it :/

[@kumikor3392]

Story 1: immediately no 😂😂😂 you're just dating. I'm not signing ANYTHING unless it's for me. Mom and friends are SO right. They're asking entirely too much. Story 2 Update: I knew someone was taking advantage of OP. OP has a big heart, but that "dad" is JUST as we all thought

[@MimosaRose]

Story 1- NTA, he should be offended, not only due to the nature of the comment, but this could have damaged trust in OP’s relationship.

[@tophesshtzgiggles609]

story2: OP said the Landlord is upset with the bf's family. That to me, indicates negligence on their part.

[@boneymeroney2674]

Lololol. It's me, my partner, and 9 large Labradorks. Yes. It's a large house with acres. Right now, I'm locked in a bedroom with my 2 youngest girls (1 year), who are going through their 1st Prime Time Season. 😂 I have a bathroom, snacks, tv and a butt ton of Mark stories! 😂

[@Pepperjack1986]

Lol, my husband and I own 11 cats and a dog, but we own our own home with a large basement and yard, and have modified the house for them, so we've got room. 9 cats in a 1 bedroom apartment, though??!! Yikes!!

[@Sandstimes]

Why do people find it strange that he got defensive over someone insinuating he took advantage of a drunk girl??? That's a horrible thing to be accused of, of course that would be upsetting to literally anybody who isn't a sociopath

[@jas6940]

19:14 step dad with that reaction sounds like he knew what he was asking and how much oh a ask it was to do immigrant or not

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Fascinating video, Let's stop taking relationship and family for granted. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

I'm keen on meeting the counsellor you're talking about. What steps should I take?

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Thank you for this information. I have just looked her up on Google. impressive.

[@browniewin4121]

1) Drunk just reveals what someone really thinks so I hope she was just making a very bad joke. It is so sad for OP's friend to lose her pregnancy she was happy about and also learn how awful her boyfriend is. I think OP should speak with his fiancee about what he heard and how it made him feel. I hope the talk OP goes well. After update: It's good this turned out well and OP realized he was overreacting and everyone is on good terms again. It is especially nice the friends are now reaching out to do nice things for OP's friend. 2) Oh hell no, this is way to much to ask for. OP has already done enough and what is beyond reasonable. No way should OP set herself up for what could cause her financial disaster. NTA. After edit: If the house is in OP's name it still could go badly for her so I am glad she has decided against this. It's nice to let his sister stay, so long as there is a time line for when she needs to find her own place. After update: I'm glad OP got so much good advice and that she and her boyfriend are on the same page. It is too bad the dad is acting like this now. It's good OP found this out now before getting more tangled up with him.

[@jancatperson8329]

LOL I’ve had as many as 19 cats at one time. Yes, it’s too many. But we were doing rescue work and just fell in love with too many of them.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Hell no do not put your name on the mortgage loan do not needlessly put yourself on the hook if you don't have to.

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - OK - 9 - NINE cats?! NO. No way. Do NOT co-sign a loan - let them rent a 2-BR or something - this is ABSURD.

[@InfernalPume]

'we could live in the house and save up for our own space' you mean the house whose morgage you're currently paying for??? congrats you're already in your house! it wouldnt be their house!

[@dessnatazha]

I don't think OP overreacted at all, it was a disgusting thing she accused him of.

[@DTConan]

Living in a one bedroom appartment, with 9 CATS?! AND STILL TAKING IN FAMILY?! wth !!

[@keifferlindsey965]

Story 2: Don’t do it !!!!!!!!!

[@amylynnsgraphics]

UGH Story 1: As usual the redditer commenters are completely wrong! OP's fiance's shrew of a friend basically implied that OP would take advantage of his drunken friend, so not only cheating on his fiance, but would attempt SA on his friend. The only thing they got right is telling OP to talk to his fiance about the situation, but I would tell her that this particular friend lost all trust with me, and I would prefer never to speak to or see this person again.

[@greninjastorm6734]

Just got back from almost 7 hours of bus riding, what better way to unwind than with some waffling

[@jameseustice7144]

Drunk words are sober thoughts... Never let anyone tell you otherwise

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. NTA. I'm sorry, but a drunken statement or not, it was a hazardous statement to make. That statement could have ruined his relationship with his fiance if she didn't know better. He had every right to be upset about this, and he wasn't wrong for his initial reaction. My first thought would be to cut someone out of my life if they said something, which is untrue about me that could potentially ruin my relationship. People need to realize that one can have a close and loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex without there being sexual desire. I have a close, caring, and platonic relationship with a guy I have known since college (32 years now), and my husband and his wife know there never has and never will be anything romantic between us. The four of us are now all close friends and get together often.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

S1: Do a test with Fiancé where she can tell bridesmaid that she thinks you are cheating and see how she reacts, immediate accusatory reaction would tell you all you need to know

[@Yahweh-dn9cv]

2nd story,I feel bad for the critters,I’d put my name on a mortgage for a 10 cat kennel,nothing more,animals are more loyal than humans

[@magicalmomo9987]

People saying YTA in the first story must not have ever seen what false assault accusations do to innocent men. Like that shit can ruin their lives and also make it harder for victims of sexual assault to be believed when they finally feel brave enough to come forward. Like that shit is not fucking funny and it is NOT an overreaction for him to be angry when he has likely given no indication or reason for the bridesmaid to be saying anything of the sort tf. This is why we gotta chill out with edgy jokes. Enough of that. But I'm glad the bridesmaid apologized and all is well.

[@janenorwood1614]

I get so baffled that these people ate getting ready to marry with no communication skills

[@unluckypuppy13]

I married into an immigrant family that's done the same to my husband. The mortgage and businesses have been in his name since he was 22. It's incredibly stressful.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 time to grow a spine. All these options are terrible and not in OP's best interest including letting the sister move in

[@meOW0131]

S1: I don't think he's overreacting when accused of being r@pist .

[@cheskydivision]

Op has a right to feel upset about what the bridesmaid said. Discuss it with gf first. It could have been a bad joke but if it gets said or repeated enough times it could cause issues.

[@harrymiller7517]

S1, that 'bridesmaid' is dead cert to try to cause problems into the marriage.. It's clear she doesn't like OP so would create uncertainty with the wife, or even outright lie about him. Stories abound with things like that. OP is reasonable in his thought that she should go, how ever, find a way to get his bride to choose to do so.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) OP this trash being talked her thoughts out load. Being drunk isn't an excuse nor should it be. You have every right to not want someone who disrespects you and your relationship as a part of your marriage. Talk with the bride, make sure the other bride maids are present and speak honestly with her about what was said. This failure of a human being isn't a friend to either of you. Also OP only needs to talk to the bride about what was said first and foremost so that Ms. Green Eyed monster of the scum abyss doesn't twist things. Also Op owes this sad excuse of a waste of oxygen nothing. He owe's his bride cause that's who he's committed to. If someone's trying to project their insecurities onto OP's bride that's a them problem. If I heard someone I considered a friend said something false against my SO that person would no longer be a friend of mine especially if there's witnesses to this statement being said in poor taste. Disgustly uncalled for Reddit. Glad that OP talked it out with his bride. I'm also glad that immature little brat apologized. I'd be wary of her though. S2) It's not being helpful if they either can't or won't pay the morgage on time. Also he's just your boyfriend. Anything can happen. Honestly I'd be wary of helping them at all. They need to do something about their cats as well. The BF of the mom needs to be either told to accept what he's being offered or get nothing at all. Those are the only options.

[@NightFuryNeff]

Yo Mark! You’re the best!

[@MarkNarrations]

You cheeky so and so, you're the best!!

[@zdrident]

I can't believe it was voted YTA. Reddit is such a dumping ground for the worst parts of humanity

[@ttturner68]

AHHHHHH People standing up at a wedding are there to STAND for the Wedding, The fiancée should be informed so she decide if she is the correct person to support the wedding.

[@Neyfufu00]

Trust people when they say something when they're drunk. When drunk people talk they usually talk their real truth about something. People think that they shouldn't be accountable for what they say when they're drunk but when they say something when they're drunk they mean it.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Story 1: NTA but I wouldn’t say anything until the girl starts causing problems