I'm Going To Expose My Neighbors Creepy Behaviour To His Wife r/Relationships

[@Rose-yt5hi]

I feel like people in the first story completely overlook the fact the neighbor isn’t acting out of concern but instead is weaponizing the police against a woman rejecting his creepy, inappropriate advances and her boyfriend trying to stand up for her. ETA: based on OP’s edits and comments, the neighbor sounds like the one committing DV (though maybe only on an emotional/mental level, so no black eyes). OP should consider using her reverse UNO card and calling in a welfare check on the wife. Lmao. Joking, but she definitely should keep her eyes open.

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

You have a point. It sounds like the wife is isolated and probably afraid to interact with anyone. The creeper sounds blatantly controlling and willing to use the police as pawns for his ridiculous games. OP should get a Doberman for a running partner and make a police report for the constant harassment as well as let them know that his wife is not seen outside much.

[@marshawargo7238]

If OP is worried about escalating his anger/advances. Next time he Tries to start a conversation, OP should say "I don't talk to people who call the cops on me!" Then walk away, Every Time he starts a conversation! Get cameras with voice activation, so even if the angle is wrong, it can record what's said!

[@GMAMEC]

@@marshawargo7238 that’s a good idea. She could publicly post her concerns and interactions on her SM pages.

[@mztweety1374]

The neighbor sounds like the classic nice guy who wants revenge when he can't get the girl.

[@sanchisan6997]

​@Connel2001report his fliirting to his wife? 😂

[@messinalyle4030]

Even worse, he's already got a "girl." He's married.

[@sersastark]

This.

[@zombieparrot2606]

Yea it was crazy how the comments were trying to justify his actions. I think they’re fellow “nice guys.” 😒

[@jackchop1576]

❤❤ All women are heroes!! ❤❤

[@bonniehuh]

Story 2 -- If I were OP's friend, I'd tell them to continue with the party and I will take every opportunity I could to loudly passive-aggressively comment, "Wait, someone stole a piece of your cake? How unbelievably selfish. Only awful brats that nobody likes does that." And I'd be sure to say it so parents and especially the sister, could hear. And before you say, "Oh, you're going to bully an eleven year old over a cake?" Yep. As the spoiled little sister who got away with so much crap, it took a few passive-aggressive comments like that from strangers for me to realize that I was heading down the path of no one, especially my own family, liking me and it was my own damn fault. This little bratty sister needs to hear it too.

[@jgw5491]

My idea was to put a place-saver card in the missing slice spot, with the notation: "If you are wondering where the missing piece of cake is, my sister was too immature to wait for the party, and my dad decided to indulge her and cut her a piece."

[@brandyanderson3522]

​@jgw5491 Switch it to "If you're wondering why there is already a slice missing from MY birthday cake. It's because my father couldn't be bothered to be a good parent and tell my entitled sister no."

[@aphelion4616]

@@jgw5491 Or even better: 'This is here to remind my little sister she has already had her piece and is not entitled to a second."

[@Ivy94F]

Exactly! I would’ve had my party and when everyone asked what happened to the cake (the dumbass dad really said no one would notice?), I would’ve told them the TRUTH. She would’ve definitely got satisfaction from shaming everyone at her party.

[@Qwerty95ish]

Strong Lana Cain vibes on this one. Not a criticism.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The wife probably was short with OP because her husband is always this way. Instead of blaming her nasty husband, she blames the women

[@joaolima7131]

Or it could be denial, one of those shoot the messager things

[@rashidasimmons6180]

Or she's not really allowed to talk to people. He sounds abusive

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Or she’s being abused herself. DV victims often isolate themselves so they don’t need to make excuses. It’s even possible she is the one who called because her ah husband came home and told her OP’s bf beat her up (a “save someone else from my fate”). That’s a lot of guesses obviously but without further information I think it’s pretty clear the neighbor guy is the biggest problem

[@juliearmfield2634]

You're probably right

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

@andyawe13. You had the same thought that I did.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: So Op: _hardly gets birthdays because their parents literally don't care_ Op: _works their ass off to make money for their own party_ Op: _buys everything themselves with their hard earned money_ Op's parents: _literally steal from Op_ Op: _cancels the party because they can't afford to move it but also don’t want to spend it with their greedy ass family_ Op's "friend", for some reason: How could you be so selfish Op.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

i wouldn't want my friends to come over or have a party either, that little sister or parents might do even more to ruin things. 'oh thats a nice gift your friend got you, its mine now, daddy give me the gift!" If i were her friends I'd take over and maybe set up like the group go out to dinner to celebrate for her away from the family or something like th at.

[@christywilson986]

She fell for their manipulation. So sad. She'll need counseling later.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

​@@aubreymorgan9763Even if sister didn't ask if it's anything even remotely interesting they'd immediately say your sister will love it. If OP got to keep any presents I'd be surprised.

[@Horstinkistan]

"It's just a cake," no it's not, it's about always being the least important and not having anything for themselves. I don't know if I would've cancelled the party (what the other commenter said about having people ask about the missing slice sounds really tempting and I'd be petty enough, lol) but if I did I would've gone to my room and eat the whole damn thing by myself for the rest of the day.

[@owl7072]

@Horstinkistan I'm also very petty and would have let them sit there and simmer in shame while people asked about the missing piece lol, but ultimately it was Op's choice

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

That guy was NEVER actually worried about dv - he was trying to get OP’s boyfriend out of the picture. If police hadn’t listened and arrested the bf I guarantee you the neighbor would have come over right away to “comfort” OP

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

"If police hadn’t listened and arrested the bf" That's something that actually happens, too.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

​@@AngryReptileKeeperit's also not the first time men weaponized the police to try to control women.

[@nilianstroy]

​@@ACAB.forcutiethat's true, but in fairness both genders do it, so definitely not a men issue, but am abuser/bully issue.

[@brianaschmidt910]

Actually it's happened to me, although the person who called the cops was actually the intake specialist for a mental health clinic WHILE I WAS WAITING TO BE ASSIGNED A PSYCHIATRIST!!! If they were actually trying to help me stop feeling suicidal, they only made it worse

[@Ivy94F]

@@AngryReptileKeeper Yeah, that seems obvious to me. Unfortunately, a lot of naive redditors fell for it so much, that OP had state multiple times that there was no DV and the neighbor knew it. That’s concerning.

[@tk6239]

Why are people trying to make the creep sound like he was trying to save her when he turned the BF in for DV.

[@jaredstar]

Because most of the AITA subreddit is filled with idiots

[@AceTheos]

My only guess is those were posted before OP added more context. If the guy had just asked her about the incident, the boyfriend angrily confronted him, then he called the police without the constant harassment, I would have said he was justified. That fully ignores the fact that she had proof of harassment and mentioned it in the original post has to be ignored for that to make sense tho 😂

[@runeingebretsen8378]

go and report him for sexual harrasment and or stalking,use the phone text as "evidence" one of these days the bf wont be home and he will make his "move"

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

Wow? how naive are people on internet? People thinking that pervert neighbour is actually worried about her.

[@nela3986]

True. They ignore the part where she explains all his behavior leading up to this. They must have a very low attention span. OP should have started with that part.

[@Ivy94F]

@@nela3986 Even though she didn’t, the creepiness of the neighbor was obvious. They read the word DV, and all their logic and brain activity ceased. Very naive of them to buy this ridiculous scenario.

[@Fete_Fatale]

@@Ivy94F "Very naive of them to buy this ridiculous scenario." Especially as it was one they'd just made up in their own heads.

[@manunuod_ako1766]

They are more focused on the fact that other people to help actual DV victims

[@evavocative6975]

I hate how many of the comments were actually DEFENDING someone who was being a creep. He approached her when she was alone time after time, to the point her boyfriend told the guy to leave her alone and people are like, "Well he has a right to be worried about you?" SO GROSS when even in the first part before OP started replying to comments that the neighbor is the one who made her feel unsafe and uncomfortable and she TRIED to tell him to leave her alone. And yet they claim the boyfriend was the abusive one by sounding controlling when trying to get a creep to leave OP alone.

[@KingRandom721]

Damn defending your partner is now on the same wavelength as abusive behavior. Damn loving the world more

[@melaniedavis355]

These people are crazy. Everybody in their world should be soft-spoken and turns the cheek. Anything confrontational is abusive, more like simps.

[@premiumfruits3528]

Your average redditor is either a sociopathic lesbian militant feminist or a beta cuck simp with almost zero testosterone. Anything they say should be looked as like you're a scientist studying a primitive species or a social worker talking to a kid with 60iq.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

Your word as a woman means nothing if you say you're being abused. Your word as a woman means nothing if you say you're _not_ being abused. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[@xplayfan21]

Classic SJW reddit

[@nilianstroy]

​@@xplayfan21are you claiming the creepo is a SJW?

[@mogulmade]

Parents in the second story are something else. I hope the spite pushes Op to greatness and she is blessed to leave that place soon.

[@krissylb2199]

Story 2- I’d love to see the parent’s reaction if OP had hacked a hunk of her sister’s BDay cake and ate it.

[@DisneyChar]

That would definitely be my next step

[@PinkMarshmallows]

I'd smash it on the floor. If they wanna do that to me, then I'll be 3x petty.

[@akl2k7]

You know they'd be freaking out if she'd taken a smaller piece than what they'd taken out her cake. Parents with favorites are idiots.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

That would definitely not go unpunished for the scapegoat, but it'd definitely be worth it. But probably only when she is 18 and already made plans to leave.

[@PaintSplashProductions]

That’s what I’d do. Total r/prorevenge move

[@RosesCookiesAndMilk]

Story 1: If the neighbour was being serious about OPs relationship being abusive. He’d be predatory for trying to date someone so vulnerable. It’s obvious he’s lying about OP relationship being abusive.

[@nelly2958]

I didn’t even think about that, another layer of ick

[@runeingebretsen8378]

he tried to get him in jail so he could move in and put his "moves" on her.

[@Nevertoleave]

Story one, the neighbour is a creep. I had a guy who came into the store I worked and would get pissed when I would keep confirming I was in a happy relationship. It escalated to the point where I told him even if I broke up with my boyfriend I wouldn’t date him. He became enraged and threw the candy that he bought at me a stormed out. Then started to try love bombing, giving me gifts, and begging for me to forgive him. This guy reminds me of him. The getting pissed that OP is in a happy relationship. The retaliation when firmly rebuffed. I doubt it will end

[@DullestStar9299]

I can't stand mate poachers... Then they get pissed when they can't secure loyals, like it shreds their ego or something.

[@ambercloud]

Story 2 reminded me of my 'sweet' 16. That week was a school trip, the night before my birthday I was unwell and needed to lie down (I'm disabled and too much sun in the mountains had gotten to me) but my friend Riley wanted to have a dance party in our hotel room basically. I went and napped in a friend's room and while I was gone, she ate my entire birthday cake. It later set a trend of punishment and retaliation if I ever defied her will until I ended the friendship when we were freshmen in college. I haven't forgotten the glee on her face when she told me (and showed the empty box etc) so vindictive. Don't forget folks, platonic friendships can be abusive and toxic too

[@jgw5491]

Wow. You waited too long to end that "friendship". I hope you made some great friends in college.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Story 2: they’ll regret it eventually when OP is long gone/no contact and they are still supporting the adult lazy entitled monster they created instead of enjoying retirement 😂

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

The creepy behaviour isn’t really towards his wife. It’s towards OP. The neighbour flirting with people outside of his marriage who have made it clear they’re not interested is creepy. But it’s more disrespectful towards his wife than creepy. Edit: Never mind. I’m dumb. She’s exposing it to the wife. Not exposing behaviour that’s towards his wife. If it was just the one incident with the bruising, I might understand the wellness check, but with everything before that, no. Definitely let law enforcement know. They might not be able to do anything yet, but they’ll have a record of it, so it’ll be easy to prove it was ongoing, making it easier to get something like a restraining order later.

[@AutumnForest862]

Yeah, I'd have told the police about him when they came for the wellness check; if he's done it once, he's likely to do it again just to be nasty. I've heard stories of things like this escalating badly.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@AutumnForest862It’s still not too late. She should go down to the police and report ALL his behavior, just to have an official record of it. Like say, On blah blah date, you folks came out to do a DV check at my address. I think it was called in by my neighbor and here’s why. Heck, even show them her Reddit post, and TELL them she’s just doing it to get it on record, just in case neighbor’s behavior escalates even more.

[@LadyLeomon]

That she hasn’t told law enforcement, or the wife, by this point is honestly baffling to me 😒😒😒

[@KittenUndercover]

Yeah but if he’s that entitled, petty, vengeful, and gross towards OP, he’s probably way worse towards his wife.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: OP's kid's sister has been raised to be entitled. I get OP not wanting to serve a cake that's already been cut into, especially when OP earned the money for it. At this point, OP needs to focus on what 18 looks like and get themselves off to their next chapter of life. And when the parents ask why OP never comes around, tell them "Hey don't worry. You have my kids sister there." Heck they might not even notice OP left.

[@LadyMelmo.]

The OP is right. While trying to help a DV victim is admirable, it can do more harm than good. I know this from personal experience as when the police turned up, I was severely punished even though I had never spoken to anyone about my situation. When I tried to leave this ex-partners' abuse, he held and tortured me for daring to. I did manage to eventually escape, barely with my life.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

"While trying to help a DV victim is admirable, it can do more harm than good." This. It could also lead to criminal prosecution of an innocent person and subsequent ruining of their life and relationship, all because someone without sufficient information jumped the gun. It happens. It could've very easily happened to the boyfriend in this story if OP hadn't been able to prove the bruise was from surfing. If I ever wind up with a bruise on my face or a black eye, I plan to not leave the house until it's gone, just because of things like this. I don't need some busybody getting my boyfriend arrested based on an assumption.

[@deppnut1]

There was another story on Reddit recently where the OP's sister jumped to assumptions. The OP's husband's life was destroyed as was their marriage.

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

​@@deppnut1god I hated that story.

[@jaquelinegarcia119]

​@@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603me too that one was just awful and really sad.

[@glendastaples8206]

If I were the op in the first story, I think I’d be wearing that go pro camera every time I went outside. Get some recordings of the asshole neighbor for proof of how bad he is.

[@NakaidaBeauzec]

She keeps interacting with him ,why?

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

"I think I’d be wearing that go pro camera every time I went outside. " And carrying a weapon of some kind. I firmly believe that all women should be armed and preferably trained, because there are way too many guys like neighbor dude in the world.

[@rpurdy4821]

I totally agree. A ccp is what she needs!

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@NakaidaBeauzecShe initially tried to be polite, but she says now she just walks away from him. Her next level would be to say “ef off, I’m not talking to you” and have pepper spray on her.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

A friend a long time ago got me a vest when she was in Guatemala. The kind that has pockets everywhere. There’s upper pockets that fit a cell phone very nicely, with the top of the phone sticking out. She could get something like that, and before going out turn the video recorder on, then stick it in her pocket. It looks so innocent, she’s just carrying her cell in her pocket for easy reach.

[@delilah1096]

That neighbour is creepy. Just wants whats young and hot, and making up an 'abusive partner' excuse so he can hopefully slip in and get some with the op.

[@godzillakungfu]

I hate talking about age gap, but no one is bringing that up. Creepy Clown is 42 and his wife is 31. No surprise he is creeping on a 24 year old. Yes, I am jumping to conclusions, but so may age gap stories have a serial cheater jumping from young woman to younger woman. It could explain why his wife was standoffish when she moved in.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

Yes, I've seen scant few relationships with a much older man and a much younger woman that weren't some flavor of gross.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Holy smokes, I didn’t even notice that in the story.

[@madarawijerathne276]

Ikr

[@user-blob]

Definitely. The man is a pervert 🤮

[@66DoodleGal]

Bet you his next target will be someone underage

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA The moment that the cake was cut for someone other than you, it was no longer your birthday. Spineless parents who could not tell the girl to wait until tomorrow, and that if she wants to cry, she can cry alone in her room, wrecked this birthday for you. I am sorry that happened to you. Golden, entitled child with enabling parents = throw a party with just your friends, away from your house, and make sure that you do not buy her anything for her next birthday. She is going to cry for at least some of your birthday gifts, and I already know that your parents will make you "let her play with/wear it" for a while and, if you ever get it back, it will be beyond repair. I hope that you get out of there as soon as you are legally able to.

[@TailsFan]

This guy is creepy, call the police on him for harassment and show his wife!

[@kaykay8855]

Unfortunately he’s most likely an expert manipulator or is a victim of whatever type of abuse he inflicts on her.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Maybe she should call the police to have them do a wellness check on the neighbor’s wife!

[@recycledapathy7411]

OP mentioned having a GoPro. She should start wearing that shit any time there's a chance of interaction with the neighbor. Either (a) It will make him leave her alone because he won't want video proof of his assholitude, or (b) it will capture his assholitude in a way that can be presented as evidence for a future restraining order.

[@yamairad1]

I'm genuinely worried that her inaction is putting herself in harm's way.

[@ynmonroe]

@@recycledapathy7411 Yep. Video proof is the way to go here. As well as a ring camera. Something that proves how frequently he ambushes her when she is alone or out of ear/eyeshot of the BF. I would also record myself stating that I am not interested in speaking with him. Those things should be enough to put this guy on ice. Incidentally, if they are just renting I would seriously move. As much as I don't like letting someone "bully" me in any shape or fashion, I feel like OP depriving this jerk of her proximity would be a win. AH gets his "toy" taking away and has to go back to his own boring, dreary existence. Meanwhile, she and her BF go on to live their best lives. It's like raising a middle finger.

[@myrabeth77]

I suspect creepy neighbor has a history of chasing after younger women who move onto the street. That's the most likely explanation as for why Mrs. Neighbor was cold to OP from minute one. She knew OP has his attention, and would continue to. Some people blame the third party when their partners have wandering eyes, even if the third party isn't into it.

[@IrisAsuras]

OP should be documenting and recording the neighbor and turning that over to the police. His messages, encounters, everything.

[@rashidasimmons6180]

42 year old with a 31 year old wife, trying to persue a 23 year old.... Smh. Dude sounds abusive.

[@Fete_Fatale]

31 year old wife was probably originally a replacement for someone six or eight years older than herself when she was OP's age, so she knows the score.

[@johnrobinson6449]

She PERSONALLY needs to tell the stalker... "GET AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME!YOU ARE TRESPASSING! DO NOT STEP ON OUR PROPERTY AGAIN! I WILL CALL THE POLICE ON YOU FOR TRESPASSING, STALKING, AND HARASSMENT! NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!" This HAS TO come from her. If it comes from her boyfriend the stalker will just dismiss it. In his mind, SHE has not told him to "f" off. He will dismiss it unless it comes out of her mouth.

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

For story one, I have no idea why people are giving her such bad advice about the guy. He's obviously been stalking her, and harassing her. She should get the police involved! And let his wife know for sure

[@toddschutz5371]

I think that after OP canceled the party he should have told entitled sister that she won. Then tell ier she can have the entire cake to herself, then dump it in the trash and watch the waterworks take over.

[@AraAra6367]

Why do people always try the polite rejection angle. Be blunt. Be plain-spoken. Be brutal in rejecting them in public. Stomp on their approach. Record your in person interactions and track how often he reaches out. Create a record and take it to the police for harassment because that’s what he’s doing. Endeavor to limit your outings unless bf or a trusted friend is around as a buffer. If he escalates, it’s just more fuel for you to report. I’ve played the guard dog part for people in the past and it’s remarkably easy to shame these creeps and get them walking the opposite direction when they notice you’re accompanying their person of interest.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

What is with the comments trying to convince OP that the neighbour was concerned with DV when OP went into explicit detail about her previous interactions and explained why this was essentially a tipping point rather than an isolated incident?

[@D-Dollie]

Story 2: my two year old knows the meaning of “no” and “this is someone else’s”. These parents raising a spoiled entitled adult!

[@LisaApril]

Stroy one: this lady should get a restraining order against this gross neighbor. Show the judge the messages and write down the dates he's approached her and what he said and did. This guy is harassing her.

[@Draggonny]

She needs to tell him herself to leave her alone. Getting her boyfriend to do it every time makes it look like she has a jealous, controlling boyfriend, not that she's not interested and wants nothing to do with him herself. Yes, it's tricky because she already feels threatened, but she could ask some female friends to come over while she tells him. People are less likely to physically lash out in front of witnesses.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@DraggonnyNo. Just no. He wants that negative attention. Also, telling people negative feedback in person is often a recipe for ending up the subject of a new Forensic Files episode. Having witnesses is not always a good safeguard. What OP needs is a restraining order.

[@KisameOwnsYouAll]

I can't imagine what opening that fridge must've felt like. The complete and utter disrespect.

[@tossedsaladandscrambledeggs52]

I wish OP would see this, or that someone else already suggested it: read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It's an old book but it's a very good one on trusting one's gut and how women are socialized to be polite and helpful. When they do this with dangerous individuals, they get hurt and sometimes killed.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

That is a _great_ book and an interesting read. I’ve reread it a few times over the years, and I almost never do that!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

It also helps to remember that no matter how nice, polite and placating you are to these sorts of men, it won't stop them from getting violent. The most it will do is slow the inevitable.

[@Pikeya]

I'd be telling the neibougher, "aw, I'm sorry your wife isn't as into you as I am with my partner." Mind you, when the neibougher started saying "you talking about your boyfriend too much.", my reply would be "yeah, that's was my subtle way of remind you I am taken and you should stop flirting with me. Do you need me to be blunter?"

[@akl2k7]

It's spelled "neighbor". Not quite as convoluted as how you spelled it (thought that gh is annoying and pointless).

[@skipmage]

Show up before the cake cutting, take a slice of cake from every cake she has from now until her wedding.

[@canondocre8650]

Many redditors, apparently, have significant issues with reading comprehension.

[@Arylwren1]

Story 1, id tell him in no uncertain terms that, if he didnt stop bothering you, that you would either show his wife the texts and call the cops

[@bessieburnet9816]

I'm disappointed OP talked herself out of reporting the guy to his wife.

[@thekameru6058]

Honestly mate, I'm not. For her own good. Reason being, a spiteful, cruel, sexually thwarted creep like that is likely to jump to violence or escalate massively in an attempt to restore what he considers a favorable status quo. She does need to take action though - time to hope the local police are halfway competent.

[@ineedhoez]

She should have threatened him with it. If you don't leave me alone, I will tell her. OP meesed by not setting the boundary herself and not reporting the message immediately.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

@@thekameru6058 Thing is, you can be nice to these dudes, try to placate them, and try to avoid pissing them off. But all it does is slow the inevitable. They'll get violent eventually no matter what you do.

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

He probably isn't afraid of his wife finding out. He probably abuses her.

[@akl2k7]

@@user-kl8lo6rj5i Or she's one of THOSE women who, upon getting news that their husband is hitting on another woman who's thwarting his advances, goes after either the person delivering her the information or the "other woman" for "stealing her man!" but never her wannabe cheater of a husband.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - It is ingrained in us as humans - and yes, mostly in women - to be polite when someone tries to engage us in conversation. OP needs to forget that nonsense and not even respond to this creep or even acknowledge that he is talking to her. Get your mail and walk right back inside. Get one of your friends to randomly stay with you when BF is away and let them go get mail when they are there - tell them not to engage with him either! Once he is completely ignored, he will either stop - a good thing - or escalate and, sadly, you have fodder to file police reports and complaints. Maybe another neighbor on the block knows the wife a little? They can be the one to check on her well-being.

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

DV victim here - I called the cops on my abusers. Showed them video evidence I had caught of the abuse after so many months of it not yet going physical. One of them told me that if I had had a camera (phone) in his face like that, he probably would have hit me too. Since I don't always bruise easily, and my military-grade phone case protected my phone from being damaged when it was thrown into the fire pit, they said neither my body nor property were damaged and so I couldn't press charges. Just, to call them again if it happened again. And the abusers retaliated. They were pissed at me for calling the cops, which is why I had waited until I had proof, and they were emboldened by the fact that they got away with it. OP is correct when she says that the way those cops went about that wellness check is not very helpful for victims of DV, and it can in fact escalate the situation if not handled with tact and care.

[@thekameru6058]

Nah, bypass the wife, go to the police. I have no idea why the op didn't immediately make a counter complaint to the police after establishing that the neighbor was a) lying and b) had established a concerning pattern. Let *him* try to explain to her why the guys with the flashy weewoo lights turn up at his house to 'have a word'. A good 1/3 of stalkers can be put off by direct police scrutiny. And thats what this guy is now. A stalker. I'd sure roll the dice on a chance for all this bs to end for the sake of a phone call. Oh yeah, story 2 - I would likely have presented the cake to the party, explained what happened with a re-enactment of the exact exchange the night before. Loudly. And then request next year my party supplies be stored at one of my friend's houses. Also photos would have been taken, and posted to social media, with lit candles in the mutilated cake. Also with an explanation. And then hide said phone because you just know that ahole would try to snatch it.

[@dvonart]

When the cops showed up, it would have been the perfect time to say. "I'm sorry he wasted your time, but I think he's stalking me and he did that out of spite" Followed by the text and proof etc

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- I would at least call the police and get him trespassed from their property and start a paper trail. and get a security system with Video and Audio. And get some very large dogs trsined to protect you when the boyfriend is away. Start having friends over when he's gone so she's not alone. Keep your phone on you at all times and ready to record whenever he approaches.

[@tully6648]

Story 1: Gotta say, I hate that neighbor. I also hate that there's not a lot OP can actually do until he gets worse, which is probably why he's only being a major creep. If it were me, I think my official greeting for him would simply be "Don't talk to me" forever.

[@shebakoby]

last story: The parents are both obviously clusters of bees and abusive. OP is the scapegoat/forgotten child. OP mentions in the comments that they had a miscarriage between OP and sis but that's no excuse.

[@paulchaudoir190]

I understand why OP doesn't want to do anything but doing nothing is not going to get the creep from not interacting with her. Doing nothing will just make him think what he's doing is okay. And that's not good.

[@TarisLuna]

The last story reminds me of the guy finally breaking at his 18th birthday after not having a birthday party for him in 8 years, because everything was about his little sister instead. Op should find that post or a reading of it, send it to family and friends.

[@recycledapathy7411]

Story 2: OP should not have canceled the party. OP should have called all their friends and given them a heads up and told them that every one of them who made a rude comment about the greedy sister would get a tiny bag of Cheetos or something. That's how you handle spoiled younger siblings and parents who say, "Pfft, your friends won't even notice!" properly. It's your duty as an older sibling. Source: Had two older and two younger siblings and so I learned that lesson from both sides.

[@stevenfrost3469]

Had it been me, I'd have canceled cake altogether, and donated the rest of it.

[@AutumnForest862]

I'd have had the party and told everyone why the cake was ruined, in detail. Expose the parents for their blatant favoritism!

[@mkuti-childress3625]

@@AutumnForest862I’d have the parents or sister explain it!

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. If I were OP, on her next birthday, I'd smash her cake right before the party and wrap cat poop in a beautiful box for her present with a card that said returning the favor. F around and find out. A card for parents saying that you are done with their favoritism with a bill for the party that never happened. Tell them she will never have another happy birthday until you get one. Equally as extravagant as her parties are. The next year inject her cake with something foul smelling. Rinse and repeat until they adjust their behavior.

[@abelink9229]

Isn't that too cruel? The girl didn't cut the cake, the parents did it. Yeah, she whined, but she's eleven. Her tears don't have any magical power to force people to comply.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

@@abelink9229 as a former spoiled brat, I can tell you for certain that I knew my mother would give me my way if I threw a fit. I knew this at 5. My strategy was I can yell louder and longer than you can take it, and it worked 100% of the time.

[@epicXtrollface]

@@abelink9229 While eleven might sound young, they aren't toddlers anymore. I remember being that age when I first stumbled upon fanfiction. As a non-native speaker, this was an absolute game-changer. If I was able to teach myself a whole ass language at her age, she is surely smart enough to know better than to whine about someone else's cake. And if you're really wondering whether that's too cruel... They're siblings.

[@samurailevi49]

@@abelink9229She’s also WAY too old to be throwing a fit. She’s going to grow up a brat that nobody will want to be around. I put 50/50 blame on the sister who knows better and the parents who can’t say no.

[@sandyberger-r9j]

It’s not the sister‘s fault- she’s 11. OP needs to teach her parents- they should feel the consequences of their actions. Life will punish her sister anyways because she’s spoiled.

[@katypurrito4429]

Story 1: OP should get a big protective dog and train it well (or have it trained). It will be company and protection. Perhaps a German Shepherd. I'm thinking this is for any time she is outside, especially on walks or runs.

[@botanicalitus4194]

OP in story 2 should have demanded the parents pay them back for the cake they ruined

[@shebakoby]

story 1: How much you wanna bet the wife took one look at OP the day OP and BF moved in, and decided she hated her because she's exactly the kind of woman that the roving eye of her husband would fixate on? I'm pretty sure the wife knows full well what's going on, and is not happy with it but doesn't give a shit about OP and blames the women for it in her head instead of her husband.

[@momo382844]

Um, since when is abuse funny? I’m more disgusted that the neighbor found the idea of OP being abused hilarious rather than having actual genuine concern about her safety. What a jackass! 😡

[@jr5557]

Even if he thought he bf was hitting her why is he making jokes about it

[@kristys7172]

My bio father promised to take me and a friend to circus circus in Vegas, for my 16th bday, then kept making excuses. He never kept his promises.

[@valgardener7656]

1) He's escalating his behavior, and he's getting angry and aggressive. You're NTA if you tell his wife, but will that protect you? He clearly acted with malice and deserves retaliation, but protect yourself first. 2) Your friend is a creep. You shouldn't have to "grit your teeth" and suffer through your own birthday party. Your parents are clearly determined to sabotage anything you attempt, so don't bother.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Omg. I thought the music at the start was seagulls and was like, "Oh, he's taking a trip to the beach. How nice." 😂😂😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP needs an involved grandparent or aunt/uncle. If this was my sister or bro I'd sort them all the way out and commandeer the whole party. They are hurting both children. NTA

[@Nikcel72]

If op in story 1 isn’t allergic to dogs, she should get a chihuahua and a military trained dog. Then take some self defense classes and learn some new skills at the gun range.

[@kathyb249]

I was always up front with men like the first story. I'd tell them I was uncomfortable with the tone of the conversation, as awkwardly as possible. I'd look at them like I didn't get their foolishness. Sometimes even asking with a confused demeanour if they were flirting with me, then explain that I am on the spectrum and dont get regular social cues. Most guys get weirded out and leave you alone. (Also, when men stare at your boobs, just ask them "are you staring at my mammary glands?" "Its odd that you would do that considering you are married and I am in a committed relationship ". I am literally on the spectrum, and acting it up can really freak men out. The more "alien" like you act, the more they get weirded out. They actually try and avoid you.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

I'm on the spectrum too, and am often at a loss on how to handle these unwanted interactions. I'll keep this tactic in mind, thanks!

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Omg. This is amazing. New Autistic superpower unlocked.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Reporting harassment =/= petty retaliation

[@Dodachin]

How is no one on Reddit concerned about this grown man's behavior and more about how she shouldn't dismiss his concern for dv. There is always a concern for dv but if someone is being creepy that should also be recognized! OP should report him to the police and have them talk to the neighbor in her stead maybe even a restraining order

[@carlrood4457]

This really goes beyond spoiling a golden child. Cutting someone's birthday cake the day before is actively malicious. No one could possibly think it's OK.

[@catsncrows]

Me very loudly "OH HI CREEPY NEIGHBOR (yes call him that) HOW ARE YOU TODAY? WEATHER'S GOOD ISN'T IT! GOT TO GO NOW! When in doubt be loud

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

1. The op needs to record every interaction with the neighbor... including telling him directly to leave her alone and stop stalking her. She needs to stop trying to be nice. 2. This op needs to make sure that their parents understand that when they are old and infirm, that the spoiled sis is going to be the only one to take care of them... & if she doesn't, it won't be op's problem. They're terrible parents and op owes them nothing.

[@hibiscusrose6074]

Restraining order and putting cameras up everywhere. Change your routine every other day. Story 1 or record ever interactions with your phone as well.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- I feel like those first comments were misinterpreting who was saying what. If a neighbor was harassing me and my boyfriend confronted them, I would not think it was because he was jealous of the neighbor or controlling of me. OP obviously shared her concerns with her boyfriend and asked him to back her up since neighbor wasn't taking the freaking hint! I can't believe so many comments were downplaying the neighbor's behavior!

[@norman9076]

My niece was raised with hardly hearing a "no". She broke many of our things because her mother would let her take whatever she wanted. Well, my father gave my brother an antique car that had been in the family for ages... while my brother was out, she took it without permission and wrecked it. My parents were furious. She has since passed away, and the only memories I have of her is that of a spoiled brat....

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Always have your GoPro with you, "for testing purposes" and keep footage of all interaction and report it to the police for the constant harassment and stalking.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Good idea! Go pro every time you go jogging.

[@myrabeth77]

I would have blown my freakin' top at the cops being called. There's no question who called, since they hadn't seen anyone else after arriving home. And it's highly unlikely there was genuine concern, given the context. I would have told the cops "This is a surfing injury, and the creepy, stalker-ish asshole next door who called you knows that. I'm going next door to pound on his door and chew him out. Feel free to tag along." Yes, I have a short fuse, but just the thought of OP quietly submitting to an interview and trying to defend herself and her bf to the cops makes me angry enough to twitch. She gave stalker boy the win on that malicious call, by taking it like a mousy little doormat. No wonder the cops needed to see surfing footage and be convinced, if she acts completely cowed by everyone around her. ** stomps off in frustration **

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

I felt the same way hearing that.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Yeah, and her staying stuck in conversations instead of just telling him to eff off... Poor thing. I hope she can find it in her to tell him off herself.

[@tossedsaladandscrambledeggs52]

Story 2: In all of these indulgent asshole parents, what exactly do they think is going to happen to their devil spawn when they can no longer protect and cosset them? Unless there's a tragedy where the child/ren die first, they are likely to face at least part of their lives without Mommy and Daddy Dearest.

[@Dimensionalalteration]

It's not retaliation,it's protecting yourself

[@spikeoramathon]

Story 2 - The best thing the kid could've done was have the party and present the cake as is, and then, when the inevitable question comes, turn to her crap-ass excuse for a father and sweetly say "Would you care to field this one?" I know, though, that a 16-year-old doesn't have the emotional detachment to do that; they're hurting and have every right to feel hurt. But I would have loved to see that scene play out. Because then everybody in town would know the parents for the slime they are. The whole golden child/ scapegoat child dynamic is poison. But darn it, Mark, what about that tampon story?!?! (the one with the woman finding (unused) tampons in strange places) I've been waiting on tenterhooks for an update!

[@Kattlarv]

Story 2 is a prime example of going full fire with fire.

[@morticiaaddams7866]

Hey Mark! What's the title and artist of that cute breakfast song you used to use? I'd like a copy. That "Yum, yum, yum" after the bacon line always makes me laugh!

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

Disproportionate reaction to her sweet 16 cake she paid for being ruined by a spoiled brat and negligent father? Bye. I can only imagine how they would have ruined her party if she had it.

[@ajwinberg]

The birthday cake story is so sad. The parents are going to regret giving into their 11 year old one day when she is and adult and still lives at home and expects money from them all the time. My aunt is in that situation. My cousin is an entitled person who is married with a child and has a job, but still expects my aunt to foot the bill on everything. My aunt still gives in because it is easier. She does regret not saying no to my cousin. Oh, and my cousin is 36 years old and is more than capable of taking care of herself, but she is entitled and feels like my aunt owes her.

[@runeingebretsen8378]

S1. report him for sexual harassment/stalking,or the next time tell him to stay away,and if he dosen't legal action will happen.

[@renee0_0]

This man isn't just creepy, he is a threat. This is behavior of extremely unstable and dangerous men...like he's giving off serial killer vibes. It's very possible that the wife is on the receiving end of some horrific shit and that's why she's acting so small and subdued. She needs to get alarms, keep a taser and/or pepper spray, inform friends and relatives, collect evidence, etc. Talk to other neighbors, especially women to compare stories. Something bad could come of this.

[@pelgervampireduck]

OP should talk to the wife AND the police.

[@martinguerrero8893]

Case1: they should install cameras (hidden) They must be sure the creep is not entering their house while they are away or worse when they sleep. Creeps gonna creep

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: That's just really sad.

[@kheventplanner]

Yay! I look forward to your videos every day Mark!❤

[@lyragwen1895]

1st story: OP need to take her phone every time she exits her home and record him. You'll have all the proof you need.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

#2 "our eldest left for college and now won't talk to us anymore and I have no idea why."

[@annechoyrocks]

😅 exactly 💯%

[@Asimaria]

The last story. Because of my mom I no longer celebrate my birthday . In my family 18 is the last one parents do a party. My younger brother(by 7years) had his in November, mom spent $400 on his. Mine is in January all I wanted was $20 to play pool with my friends and get few pichers of Shirley temples. I was told i was being selfish and that was to much money. And got yelled at for shoveling neighbors snow to make my own to still have a party. That I was being disrespectful. So yea haven't done anything since and now my mom gets mad I want nothing from her.

[@deifieddata4462]

Everyone in the replies tripping over themselves to pay devil's advocate for an obvious creep

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - Who on earth cuts a slice out of someone's birthday cake, before their birthday, planned party, and before the birthday person had any?! W. T. F.?! EDIT: spelling

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - NTA I would take a slice from her cake.

[@katie6731]

Story 1: Hang on. The neighbor actually said that he "doesn't like" OP talking about her boyfriend? Ew, that's so gross!

[@jenniferklein1707]

Op: This man has been harassing me for months. Reddit: Ok but are you sure he's not just worried about you?

[@mogulmade]

Old creep trying to replace "aging" victim. Older victim knows this, hence her treatment of Op. 😪

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 op needs to document every encounter and get cameras with audio. When she has proof, call the police and make a report for tresspass and harassment. This is escalating and will only get worse. And his wife probably knows what a creep he is.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Holy crap. That second one; op does the entire party, pays themself, and even THEN, they can’t have it. That said, I think op should have had the party and taken lots of pictures of the hole in the cake and posted about it EVERYWHERE.

[@wildblue0]

Story 1: The perfect time would’ve been when the police showed up for the welfare check. “I’m fine Officers, and I know you can’t tell me who called, but this feels like an escalation from my creepy neighbor who’s been showing stalker-ish behavior. I don’t feel safe when he’s around, and I’m worried about his wife. He has a pattern of ….” Story 2: My immediate thought was to go ahead with the party and serve sis last because “you had yours yesterday.” There’s no way the parents would’ve let that go though. In fact, I’d fully expect these parents to make OP share her graduation party because sis will be “graduating” from middle school too.

[@kateworkman921]

I feel so bad for the wife in the first story. Having a husband like that, and the 11 year age difference between them? Yeah, my money's on that he's definitely an abuser and his wife is the victim. Hell, even him calling the cops for a DV claim could be part of his game to make sure he's never found out. Because if OP did suspect that the wife was his victim, it would just look like retaliation if she called the cops, and the creepy neighbor guy could just be all, "What are you TALKING about? We have a PERFECTLY HAPPY home! Oh, I bet this is OUR NEIGHBOR(OP.) I was worried about her recently, I bet she called AS REVENGE, because CLEARLY there's nothing wrong here."

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2- In the U.S. at least, minors can rent a safety deposit box without a guardian or another adult. My suggestion to any teens that read this or anyone that reads this and knows of a teen in a similar situation, is to rent a safety deposit box and keep all your cash in it until you're 18 and can open your own account. If you think you're savvy enough, find somewhere local that will let you buy some form of physical gold with your cash that you then keep in the safety deposit box so you might be able to get a return on your savings even though you can't open your own account yet. Make sure you get certified copies of you social security card and birth certificate to keep in there too, and any school transcripts and records to keep in there too. And may as well start calling the big credit companies to put a lock on your credit since parents have been known to open lines of credit under their kids' names so their credit is ruined by the time they hit 18.