My Boyfriend Has Suddenly Become Passive Aggressive About My Body Choices r/Relationships

[@rosemarie1817]

I know a guy that shaves his legs, he just doesn't like his legs and arms to be hairy, and that's his preference, just like it's OP's preference to NOT shave her legs, shaving is a chore and a bore, can we just acknowledge that? 😂😂

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

And I'll bet he gets a lot of flak for it too.Because people can't mind their own business about other people's choices."You don't do what I do, then you must be a weirdo."

[@rosemarie1817]

@@jeannemclaughlin7978 He didn't talk to many people, and you couldn't tell that he shaved because he did it before puberty, before he sprouted up tall as can be.

[@CrystalRuizEnriquez]

I know a guy that does too...some of his friends tease him over it but he give 0 fucks...he's my role model lol

[@odysseus2656]

Cyclists shave their legs because it hurts less ripping off bandaids.

[@lauracatania5063]

I actually thought this might be the case here. He bought the stuff for himself and was embarrassed by his curiosity

[@ohwow9769]

I’m a waxer IRL and anytime a client makes it clear that they’ve been pestered into getting something done by a partner, I say 1 of 2 things: “Anyone who is going to care or make you feel bad about your body hair isn’t worth keeping around.” Or “Have your partner get it done and they’ll never bug you about it again.” I say it in a joking way, but still letting them know that I’m on their side and they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to do. I don’t care if I lose the service money.

[@Ebbagull]

You're a good person 🌷

[@margaritap.9459]

That's the type of professionals we love and appreciate ♥️

[@Emeraldwitch30]

You are the best!🥰🥰🏆🏆

[@drieuxkoeppel4157]

God bless. I can’t wax or use epilators or depilatories due to severe allergies. And it’s not my hubby’s body. It’s mine. We all deal with our own issues. I love your attitude!

[@haplessasshole9615]

People in the personal-care industry as you are often wind up being therapists of sorts. After all, you're supposed to help people (generally women) feel confident and beautiful. You're doing your job amazingly well, especially given that you could potentially lose clients because of your approach. I hate stylists, manicurists, or what-have-you who take advantage of people's insecurities in order to make a few extra bucks. I believe it's antithetical to their alleged purpose.

[@xhagast]

Second Story: I also don't think money isn't everything. BUT. The difference between financial security and being a problem away from being homeless is abysmal. Safety first. Last. Always.

[@ronhall5395]

Exactly. I once had an opportunity for a higher paying job with my company. They were closing our branch. So staying meant finding a new job. Wife just laughed st me. She said go if that's what you want, me and the kids are staying. Well I could have argued that she could not afford to stay if I left. I.didn't. This was a discussion to see what options we had. Apparently moving out of state was not an option. Good to know. I found a different job in the same city. It paid about 20% less. It hurt, but it kept us in the same house. Wife got to keep her job which she loved ( most of the time). I often wonder how it would have worked out if we moved? No regrets. I too love living here.

[@whitneylivingston5706]

I laugh every time OP is story one mentioned people calling her unhygienic for not shaving her legs… because men don’t shave their legs, so are they calling all men unhygienic? Yeah, that argument is stupid. I also want to know if her boyfriend shaved his legs, because if he finds it so gross then he would. Nothing wrong with not shaving your legs.

[@littleblackpistol]

The exact same men who screech about body hair being 'unhygienic' and unfeminine would also freak out and insult a woman who shaved the hair off her head or who had really short hair. The argument that hair is unhygienic means they should demand a shaved head too, but they don't, because all this is is just witless knee-jerk conformity to current beauty standards. It's nothing to do with hair and everything to do with learned responses embedded in the culture. There is literally zero logic as to why people believe hair in one place should be long, flowing and plentiful on the head in women only and is disgusting and repellent and unclean if it's in any other place .. in women only. It's all normal and natural and removing hair actually leads to microcuts and tears in the skin giving chances for bacteria to enter deep into the skin, leading to more infections, and shaving or plucking hair leads to ingrowns which can develop into infected messes and leave scars, so any argument about hygiene is 100% stupid. Porn trains them to freak out about pubic hair since the late 90s (used to be all porn stars had full bushes and shaved was a niche) and the rest is just societal messaging on a near subliminal level. Body hair choices should be just that, and same with head hair, but they come with a truckload of emotive bullying sex-based bullshit that make the concept of choice less compelling an argument. But next time someone argues that they shave because of hygiene, act innocent and ask them when they're shaving their head, and watch them act puzzled.

[@lynnw7155]

OPs boyfriend has a beard. I don't find beards attractive, but wouldn't dream of telling him it's gross (even if he gets crumbs and food stuck in it).

[@zerobolt9506]

I would as a guy 100% shave my legs if not for the fact that it's hurts after, I HATE having facial hair, but usually only trim it cause it hurts so much when it grows back, I only fully shave it on special occasions or if I just fell like it out of nowhere, I like the smooth feel combined with cool water splashing on my face at times or I'll never full shave.

[@pansprayers]

@@zerobolt9506 it's likely the razor - the way they blunt off the hair makes it sharp and painful when it becomes stubble. My husband has to use a pretty specific electric razor and post care products if he has to clean shave, otherwise he hurts for about two weeks afterwards.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@pansprayers ah thanks for the info

[@hanananah]

"Just in case" That would have been the end of it for me right there. Just in case of what? Just in case she decides that his opinion and preferences about her body are more important than hers? That's incredibly insulting. Oh so now his FRIENDS opinions about her body matter more than hers? What a baby. Thank God she broke up with him. The post was all about his insecurity not her body hair.

[@S2MiaS2]

Right? Dude needs to grow a backbone and stop hanging out with a bunch of dude bros(pejorative) and find some dude bros(complimentary)

[@thedestroyasystem]

Gotta love how Reddit decides to rudely comment on OP’s choices about body hair rather than actually giving her advice. It’s gross that so many people think putting down people with body hair is an appropriate thing to do.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Misogynistic “good guys” or straight up incels who think anime or video game women are the norm

[@shithead1029384756]

I'm a 36 years old man... I don't like body hair... So i shave my body hair. If someone don't wanna shave.... Then don't. If a man wants to enforce smooth legs.... they should try it first

[@WyntheRogue]

It's a real catch 22 if you shave, you're giving into patriarchal oppression and if you don't shave you're somehow some evil man hater...I'm trying to wrap my head around the vitriolic comments as human beings should have a right to their own bodily autonomy be it reproductive rights, right to rock tattoos and piercings or in this case, the right to choose whether you want baby smooth legs or fuzzy legs and for dudes baby face or bearded face. I personally tend to interchange [shave when it's warmer weather for shorts and capris but get lazy when winter hits because cold weather and pants obvi shower very frequently also obvi.] Seems like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't, so bizarre that people get their jimmies rustled over another person's body hair. ETA- Obviously people should have a good hygiene regiment for self care and as not to be dirty, wanted to put in some context to anybody who reads since it seemed OP's ex seemed pissy she wasn't a short, demure Stepford wife.

[@Icalasari]

Well, Reddit DOES have a misogyny problem, so it doesn't surprise me

[@arandomfan4710]

Sadly I see a lot of posts where people don't even give advice and just put down the person (Or in the case of yta, then they don't answer the question or give a judgment purely to put down the op)

[@briant7134]

I can see how some people, based on social standards, would criticize a woman going natural as not being “feminine”, but today it’s “gross” “dirty” or “unhygienic” doesn’t even make sense. If it were really that unsanitary, men would be doing it. You don’t like it, fine. But don’t make things up to justify the dislike.

[@Necrotaku999]

Gender roles my dude

[@magnarcreed3801]

Exactly. It’s all bs. I don’t prescribe to these dumb gender roles.

[@robertx8020]

I agree btu there is a lot of crazy out there so I'm not surprised at all :)

[@JSainte17]

Every woman I know finds it gross. We want dudes to go down on us, and feminists, especially, bitch about dudes who don't reciprocate, but I can't expect a guy to want a mouth-full of pubic hair. It's gross. If my guy, and that means any guy I've ever been with, didn't "clean up" downstairs, I wouldn't be down there. I mean, FFS, have you ever had ANY piece of hair in your mouth? It's DISGUSTING. If she isn't shaving legs/armpits, she ain't shaving the rest. Also, people are allowed to have preferences, and have those preferences change. If he doesn't like it, he should find someone else. If he doesn't have the balls to, she should find someone who likes her body hair. FYi my husband has complained COUNTLESS times that I don't want to have sex until I shave because "he doesn't care". Well I do.

[@Necrotaku999]

@@JSainte17 thats you personally

[@SilentDecepticon]

2: The husband was being very selfish in the beginning. Imagine not wanting to improve your family’s lives just so you could stay close to your mommy. At least he smartened up eventually.

[@amadi5x5]

Seriously.

[@jakeand9020]

Yeah, so selfish to not prioritize money, what a loser.

[@757Bricksquad]

How is he being selfish for wanting his kids to grow up around family. WHAT. THE. FUCK??

[@vilkasrex8067]

​@Mike A HIS family. Plus sacrificing financial stability at point where you're at half your income just to stay close to "family" (his side) is stupid and shortsighted. Taking the job was the most responsible call to make in that moment and context.

[@TurseLuv]

@@vilkasrex8067 Exactly. Someone didn't listen to the story 🙄

[@rustyshackleford1697]

I was half expecting the boyfriend to use the shaving products himself in a bizarre passive aggressive move

[@heathermiller5765]

Lol I could just imagine him sitting at the tub with a razor in his hand, and his legs all lathered up. "Look. See? Not that hard" 😄

[@Lisapizzza]

I would have loved that plot twist

[@veruschkadahmer1805]

@@heathermiller5765 omg I pictured your comment in my head and I giggled 😆

[@pansprayers]

@@heathermiller5765 if he got those stupid wire wrapped 'lady razors', he'd be screaming like a gassy infant on the first swipe 😂

[@ohno8398]

Plot twist, that's how he discovers his true life passion of shaving his legs

[@fcold9402]

1. Well, maybe he just wants to be pretty. His smooth legs should be nice and silky soft after he uses all the products he bought.

[@MarkNarrations]

LOL

[@RedReaper666OG]

And coffee shot outta my nose reading this🤣

[@pansprayers]

Wonder how he'd enjoy those 'lady razors' ripping out his facial hair (gotta LOVE the wire wrapped blades they come with for 'safety' like we're somehow too inept to use a Mach 5, but we hand them to young boys to put near their jugular)? Or the 'shaving lotion' giving him rashes/drying out every square millimetre of skin it comes in contact with. Women's razors/cream aren't worth the Pink Tax they charge. Ugh. Shave, or don't shave, it's a personal choice - he has a BEARD FFS.

[@alyzu4755]

My thoughts exactly!

[@sherrygibbs7547]

🙂👍😊

[@jayistrying4558]

1st story. Her boyfriend sounds like my high school boyfriend. He always felt emasculated, but that's because he felt small beside me (like literally and figuratively. I was taller and bigger than him, as well as bigger personality). He always told me that he likes "girly girls" and wished I was smaller/thinner/more feminine/etc like his crushes. Thank God we aren't together and I am now married to a great guy who loves me, whether I have hairy legs or not.

[@day_dreamer9316]

Gotta love how guys will act like they were blind when they first met you. Like did he think you would shrink over time? If he wanted someone so different from you, why did he waste your time?

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah the fixer-upper attitude can be toxic, especially for unchangeable things like height.

[@jayistrying4558]

@@day_dreamer9316 I guess because we were lonely. Or he was desperate. hahahahaha

[@ttrev007]

She was upfront about how she chooses to groom herself. That was the time to bow out and find someone that he found more attractive to him. It like those assholes that date a girl and forces a girl to diet because he likes her lighter. People are not fixer-uppers for you to control.

[@ineedhoez]

Lmao! Men don't do that. They dont date fatties and then get them to lose weight. They just ban the fatties!😂😂😂

[@drewthistlethwaite8909]

M’en think no means « convince me » not no.

[@jamestomlin5525]

​@@drewthistlethwaite8909and women think being snarky is cute and a character trait

[@KE-hr4sb]

So many people were offended by OP's personal grooming choices that they forget two very important words..."personal" and "choice." The double standards for the sexes need to stop, as does the judgmental bullcrap that the person pointing fingers wouldn't tolerate themselves. It's not the leg hair that's nasty, it's their attitudes. S2: Based on my personal experience, I'd take the promotion. You don't want to end up financially dependent on him and stuck one day because you killed your career growth options for him, and I think you'd end up resenting him if you stayed. I think the relationship will be over though, because either a) you stay and resent him, or b) you move and he resents you. Sorry OP. He doesn't want to leave his mom? YOU (and your kids) should be more important to him than his mom. If he's willing to lose you to keep her near? That's telling.

[@strangelic4234]

"Women should shave their legs, body hair is unhygienic." "Do you shave them, as a guy?" "Lol no, that's gay" "Soo..." "What?" "You really don't see it?"

[@jackspring7709]

I agree - what is this with all these anti-hair people? My pet tarantula has hairy legs but it doesn't me me think any less of it.

[@thetechguychannel]

Re: S1: His choice of partner should also be a personal choice. Guess she made that for him :P S2: Agree completely on OP having to see his spouse and children as more important than mother. From my own personal perspective, I feel super damn lucky that I have a mom that steps gladly out of the way of me and my wife. We may be 9000 km apart but a mother even from that distance can conceivably cause issues. She is incredibly supportive of my wife and we've developed a strong mutual respect whereas we both detach ourselves from the other's decisions (i.e., if I do something my mother may not like, I let her know what I've decided and she respects it; she does not butt in on her 34 year old son :P ). Regarding the career growth, I don't know what to say. I've only ever dated one woman who's a careerist and quickly just fell out with her. Wonderful woman, but very inwardly focused, definitely not mom material, attends cocktail parties organized by her workplace and stays until 3 AM while I was just sitting on my thumbs at home. Noped hard out of that one. The woman I ended up marrying is a staunch traditionalist, and not in the "I'll put on makeup in the morning, cook, clean, and do everything while you sit at the TV and drink beer" way. She expects as much out of me as one would reasonably expect of her. I'm fine with the responsibility and burdens, and she's perfectly fine with hers; and of course, we pitch in when the other is having difficulty (i.e., I split a lot of the housework with her because I don't like sitting around when I'm out of work either :D :D ). She doesn't leave me home to party, she's got her own family and social circle and I'm included in it if I'm not an asshole, and we have a lot of overlap in the way we view the world (in other words, not completely demoralized automatons). I guess, if I WERE to reply something, it would be, "What matters is whether both are fine with what they are supposed to do. If not, there's something broken in that relationship."

[@KE-hr4sb]

​@@thetechguychannel In my first marriage, my now-ex-husband controlled the finances. I didn't know how much he made, I signed my check over to him and he did what he would with it, and I had to ask to spend money (the answer was usually no, while he would spend without telling me). When he left me (and cleaned me out), I was up a creek without a paddle. I'm not a career woman (SAHM lol), but I've been dependent on someone else financially and it sucks. That's mostly why I worry now about OP getting stuck and having no way out. My second hubby and I are better suited; we're a team. We each have our own responsibilities that we split and we help each other out.

[@WobblesandBean]

It was posted in r/relationships, that's why. That subreddit is crawling with incels and dudes who will take any chance to disparage women and think women "owe it" to men to be hairless from the neck down.

[@bricolleen7956]

I cant shave. I have an autoimmune disease. An ingrown hair can literally put me in the hospital on IV antibiotics. The boyfriend is the gross one.

[@thebarefootwitch5564]

I’m a type 1 diabetic and an ingrown hair caused an abscess that hospitalised me. I feel you and OP.

[@ZombieSazza]

My sister has 80% body covering psoriasis and is immunocompromised, she’s never shaved in her life. Her husband loves my sister as she is and they have 3 children. He literally doesn’t care because his wife, my sister, is way more important to him that something so stupid like body hair!

[@pris1378]

arrgh. body hair on women is not *unhygienic* if it's unhygienic on women, it is unhygienic on men. and have you SEEN the pelt that some men have on their legs?!

[@HaizeyWings]

"Pelt" xD you're killing me here, too accurate

[@drippystaff5657]

The majority of men think of body hair on women as a turn off and the majority of women think of body hair ( not a jungle though) as a turn on. Don't complain, this is just the facts. Fair enough if you're a woman and have body hair, it's your choice at the end of the day. But don't start complaining when your dating prospects significantly drop because of it.

[@murraystewartj]

I love the "pelt" comment. Some guys have a bear rug on their chests and backs and this is somehow "virility"?

[@Evolution1101]

@@drippystaff5657 Fucking smashed the nail on the head with that.

[@emanx222]

@@drippystaff5657 having preferences or turn-ons isn't the problem though. The problem is acting like hair on a woman is somehow unclean/unhygienic or dirty. It isn't. You not liking it doesn't mean it's dirty or unhygienic

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Idk why this man chose to stay if he didn't like Op not shaving. If it's that much of a deal breaker to you then leave, it's not anyone but that persons choice to shave

[@sleepwalking3345]

@Gi Gi abviously not. Aparantly he hated how tall she was and his humour too

[@minuit6305]

Because he can't get anyone else so he would rather manipulate someone into what he wants than be proactive and get what he wants.

[@Kelsey1442]

He like her as a person. He just wished that she wasn’t a scary hairy monster and shave. Which she did after they broke up which is messed up.

[@cloudstalker8956]

@@Kelsey1442 yeah is obvious he affected her self esteem, but at least left him

[@krazycats564]

@@cloudstalker8956 she tried it once and then stopped again. Nbd.

[@ozbelltemp]

Second story: i can't wrap my head around abandoning your kids just to stay near your mom

[@Ll_ring00]

Mammas boy

[@mikef2811]

There comes a time when you have to prioritize your wife and children above your parents and stop being a mamma's boy.

[@emanx222]

I'm heavily convinced reddittors can't read. How is it that the OP had to clarify her stance MULTIPLE TIMES and people STILL willingly misinterpreted her. It actually pissed me off the more she had to defend herself against braindead clowns with no affinity for reading comprehension. Jesus christ people can be DENSE and its hard to deal with. Good on OP for not blowing up on them because I surely would have. She had more grace and decorum than I could ever hope to muster in that circumstance. That one commenter that said the OP's now ex "did communicate". Is that person deluded? As in is that person genuinely lost? I'm actually getting heated writing this comment 🤣

[@huh4963]

I have hairy legs. Honestly I don’t care what people think. I’m like op but I’m just to lazy to shave my legs. I wear pants anyway lol but I wish people would stop judging op for her decision

[@magnarcreed3801]

Sam and I also don’t give a fuck about gender stereotypes.

[@kaname4ever]

Mee too I'm just to lazy and my partner loves the hairy legs hehe

[@Kimi_Khaos]

Ugh! I hate shaving my legs. I spent the majority of my teens, twenties and thirties shaving nearly every day, but once I hit my forties, I was done. Luckily, my hair is super fine and somewhat sparse, so it's barely noticeable by touch, though it's still kinda visible. I honestly couldn't care less. Hell, these days, I don't even shave my armpits unless I'm gonna be around somebody I really like. 😂😂 Seriously though, I just feel like, to each their own and if it isn't hurting anyone, what's the big deal? If you don't like it, that's cool, no one is forcing you to stay, but there's no need to try to shame or belittle the other person for their choices. Both sides have valid feelings, where it goes wrong, imo, is with one side trying to change the other instead of accepting them for who they are or walking away.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@Kimi_Khaos I got out before you XD stopped at 20 though I get long hair in legs, pubs, and pits. I just trim the later two but let it grow out a good ways. Way more relaxing. Less money cost too.

[@gnu740]

Another hairy woman here. My mother was the same, although she’d shave her legs for special occasions. It’s ridiculous how strongly some people feel about this issue when it has nothing to do with them. I hate mullets, but you don’t see me running around telling the mulleted that they’re gross and unmanly… Not your body/not invited to touch said body? Mind your own damn business.

[@OutsideGalaxy]

I see the incels found the first post. Honestly OP was completely right. While it's okay to have preferences the boyfriend should have brought them up in a respectful and reasonable manner. I feel like they are in vastly different places in levels of maturity

[@thatwitchychick2717]

As soon as I heard cock carousel I was like NOOOOOOOOO...

[@Spgzay]

It's not only incels I saw mothers insult my sister for not shaving she told them to fuck in a nice way

[@alyzu4755]

Incels need to wake up to the fact that NO ONE CARES about their opinions.

[@liviwaslost]

@@alyzu4755 especially if they don’t even shave.

[@panicwithcompulsion]

That's the conclusion I also came to. He never matured past high school and she has. It never could have worked because he was too much of an insecure manchild. :/ She can't be wasting her time and energy trying to help him grow up. In the words of Dua Lipa: "I can't teach a man how to wear his pants."

[@ComaLies225]

LOL, I love how redditors called her disgusting for not shaving her leg hair but don’t say crap when men have hairy legs. The AUDACITY. There isn’t anything wrong with leg hair, it’s hair. Personally I shave but that’s because my fathers side is Italian and if I don’t groom I end up looking like teen wolf. I would prefer less hair on my body but Bf is being a straight AH in this

[@sleepwalking3345]

Also when you love someone you 'bear with it' i allways said id rather my partner would be less hairy untill i got with my girlfreind who tiptoes into 'teen wolf' territory and i dont care. It isnt as big of an issue as i thought i was. If you love someone you love all of them, including how thry want to have their body. Im glad op broke up with that guy lmao

[@sugercookie14]

Bruh Ive seen dudes with the hairiest legs that hide the skin all I thought was weird but cool and kept going with my day hairs hair as long as it's not causing health issues or ordor problems don't worry about it

[@pansprayers]

Not to mention that non-facial hair pretty much hits a certain length and stops getting longer for a variety of reasons. This dude is perfectly fine with his beard, but leg/body hair freaks him out? So effing odd, how marketing has become so pervasive like this.

[@DrippydaBoss]

Not Teen Wolf 😭😂 my hair stopped growing on my legs and I miss it especially now when it’s cold 🥺

[@badkitty4922]

Both of my parents were first generation born in America to Scottish Immigrants, and I ended up inheriting my father's hairyness so, I shave and get my eyebrows waxed for comfort and to feel pretty. That's just me. I don't worry about what other women do with their bodies because, it's THEIR bodies. End of.

[@slipton9797]

I absolutely love that she broke up with him and then shaved just to see how it was. Awesome.

[@CyanideSun94]

"One emergency expense away from homeless" if that isn't just the most american thing

[@Deaznkid280]

Story 2 I’d support my partner if they were going to potentially make more that will support us more, especially if I’m out of work…

[@Evolution1101]

Seems like a no-brainer right? Feels like there's more going on there that's been left out...

[@gilesclone]

I moved halfway across the US when my wife got a job that quadrupled her salary. Totally worth it. I ended up getting a better job as well.

[@ShadoWalker71]

my wife was similar when we first started dating. we compromised. i shave her legs for her. She finds this hot and shows her appreciation.been married to her for almost 23 years, and i still shave her legs, and she's still very appreciative.

[@ineedhoez]

Hot

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Story 2: When the Husband said OP was picking money over family, she should have corrected him. Telling him he is picking being a Momma's boy over his own kids

[@dune3001]

I have developed a system for partners who demand something I do not want / approve of. I ask them "will you also do it?". If the answers is no, That is a red flag and if they push for it that is the end of that relationship. My winter legs annoy you and you want me to shave even thought it is uncomfortable and I get ingrown hairs? Fine, do it with me and we can both be smooth. No? Ok, no it is then. I'm glad OP broke up with someone like that. And also, how insane of all those people to keep telling her what to do with her body.

[@macura88]

am glad to hear i aint the only one with ' winter legs'. I just like the warm hairy leg coat in the winter :D trousers directly on skin is soooo cold

[@dune3001]

@@macura88 most of my girl friends don't shave in winter lol.

[@Dan-iq9td]

I bet you end up old and alone.

[@momotaro1236]

Story 2: NTA Moving back is the best move for your family. Why doesn’t he care about your kids being able to see your family? You don’t have the money for any type of vacation so you’re not seeing them very often. Once your kids go off to college I can’t imagine that will be happy that they have to pay way more in student debt.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. He knew how OP felt about this from the very start and now he thinks he can change her. Men don't understand how involved shaving can be. Since my husband passed away, I hardly shave any longer. It's a chore! I don't blame OP one bit for breaking up w/that guy. He was weak willed. 2. If I were OP's mother in law, I'd be telling my son to start packing his bags and do the right thing for his family. Money equals security that family can't give you unfortunately. Also, when you are married, that is your #1 priority.

[@ApocalypticEmu]

Story 1 and the OP constantly needing to defend herself is Welcome To Having A Women’s Body 101, unfortunately. I’m glad she was able to figure out what she wanted to do and move on.

[@kathydurow6814]

We passively aggressively won't mention the societal norm for women to look like pre-adolescent girls, will we? Few/no curves (except maybe artificially large boobs &/or butt) no body hair, long hair on head, big eyes. Creepy pedo, much? Give it 2 seconds & someone will tell me I'm perverted for simply pointing this out. OP is right, it is a communication issue. Also a respect issue, and a you can do better than this lad and his friends. Glad she realised it, acted appropriately, and took care of herself very well.

[@ApocalypticEmu]

@@kathydurow6814 oh now that is an entire conversation. I was more on the track of there not being a correct way to exist in a woman’s body, and not in the “there’s no right or wrong way to be a woman” sense, but rather the “you can’t win” sense. It seems there’s always something to pick at, and it changes every few years like fashion. But yes, there is a creepy precedent for the “ideal woman” to look and/or act childlike. People sexualizing Lolita in opposition to the entire point of the book, anyone?

[@Lestaticate]

1st Story: OP handled that like an adult, unlike her ex. I hope he finds better friends and becomes a better person. People seriously need to stop comparing others to models on social media. (I personally find shaving my legs a little tedious myself, but hey. I pretty much stick to "mowing the lawn" during shorts season. Too dang cold right now! lol.)

[@ginathecookie]

Most peope do this i used to do this myself I now just don't shave as I hardly go out and wear longer clothes most time unless weather I'm too unwell to care about leg shaving anymore.

[@swisstroll3]

It sounded to me as a coming of age story. Just a young person learning about themselves, her boyfriends, and what she wants in life. Sounds young and healthy to me.

[@rachaelmorder6762]

Story 1: Im extremely lazy when it comes to shaving so i understand not wanting to shave at all... the only reason i shave is because i have dark dark hair and in elementary/high school i was picked on for it. If you dont like shaving dont shave if you like it then start shaving... i feel its not that deep.

[@Gringo7213]

I was the same, only I made the decision that I don't give a damn.

[@Gumbier_Than]

Dig that. My spouse just does not get it. Having smooth legs is nice, I'll cop to that. Still I get butchered because I am clumsy, the hair removal stuff burns the shit out of my sensitive skin (even the sensitive formula), and it just itches so bad after. 😩

[@catharineholton49]

Me too... I was picked on for having some facial hair, I spent good money getting rid of it ,when I was in my 20s. I never regretted that though.!!

[@macylouwho1187]

Lol this reminds me of my younger years when a guy that I wasn’t dating and barely knew or had talked to much before approached me at the pool to tell me “that my body was hot and I was beautiful but that I should really consider shaving up the side hip area. Because while my legs were shaved, I didn’t get the hairs on the side up next to my butt that wasn’t covered by my bikini 👙. That should be hair free too to make my whole leg look nicer.” Yes this conversation really happened, his name was Tom 😂. Tom had dark hair and golden brown eyes so naturally he had quite a bit of dark body hair here and there. I looked down to see what was essentially sun bleached peach fuzz that was barely there on my hip area next to the bikini bottom-which was what he was talking about. I said “well your whole body looks like a hairy ape, so maybe you should shave everywhere too!” Rolled my eyes and walked away. Ya’ll get shaved legs at least, be happy you get that at all 😂. Like honestly if you don’t like body hair-maybe just don’t date someone with it to begin with!

[@BohemianScandalous]

My hair is lasered. I ended up making that expensive choice because I would get absolutely awful ingrowns that would become infected and had a hard time healing no matter how much I exfoliated and cleaned. But it was for me. I feel like if I made the choice for any other reason it would not have been worth it. My own comfort and heath is what matters in the long run because in the end all you will have is you and your own body.

[@justabunneh6490]

I'm considering laser for the same reason. The only thing hold me back is the price...

[@amandaconstanza]

@@justabunneh6490 I bought the phillips one that you use at home, is a longer process but worth it

[@littleolmee]

I got news for those folks coming down on OP for not shaving. By the time you get to the point in your life you have kids, you no longer give a sh*t about shaving. When you're lucky to get time to shower, shaving is the last thing on your list.

[@liviwaslost]

Those people complaining are hypocrites if they don’t also shave lol.

[@Dan-iq9td]

If you stop taking care of yourself after having kids you are doing your husband a disservice. Having a family is about taking care of your kids and pleasing your husband, as he should you too. Get lazy after having kids and you will likely find your husband straying.

[@mattesongroner5730]

​@@Dan-iq9tdif a husband strays over not shaving, they aren't worth being a husband anyway.

[@KhaosChilde97]

Forget about that far into the future. Most men don't shave anyway?

[@Fcutdlady]

Story 1: he has this idea of the perfect girl. Even if you shaved all over you would never live up to his standards

[@pansprayers]

I don't think even HE can live up to his standards, TBH.

[@youwereboringd59]

@@pansprayers That's typically how it goes which is why people tend to try and bring others down.

[@Sovreign071]

Story 1 update: My petty posterior thought she shaved her legs, THEN broke up just to spite him 😆. Been reading too much reddit!

[@emtims1670]

That's what I thought too! I readily admit I'm petty as hell.

[@ladyv5655]

I would have done that. In fact, I broke up with one guy and then lost the weight he always complained about.

[@SlinkyDragon]

I love that when OP did decide to shave she did it for herself, and not for him.

[@Mimiroo]

I used to shave my legs regularly in high school but in my mid 20’s started to develop eczema anytime I would shave. The bumps would pop up the day after I shaved, my skin felt so itchy and uncomfortable! I would cause myself to bleed from scratching so much at night so I stopped shaving unless I absolutely have to. That was 4 years ago and not once has my husband complained or told me I’m “gross”. A good partner loves you hairy legs and all 💕

[@rylashadow18]

What do you mean if it ever happens? The cheek. Of course it will. We got you Mark! S1) If he's/ she's / they're letting other people get in his/her/their ear about your relationship without talking to you about it first so you can get to the issues they are not relationship material. S2) Don't let him back in until he's: 1) Had a full years worth of therapy 2) Is fully and gainfully employed 3) Has apologized for his behavior and is showing the work from both therapy and a job.

[@teresadurham8828]

👏👏👏👏 THIS

[@squeakybb]

So many immature people out in the world. It’s so awful. Mind your business and let people live their lives as long as they’re not hurting themselves or others

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I google searched “Best Reddit KZbinrs and Mark came up #1!! So grateful I found you and your community. Thank you for being so empathetic and being so humble. In MURIKKA media there is NO humility or even integrity. Love your accent and ur show. Also love the doggie pics. Keep being ur awesome self. Blessed be Mark and family

[@catandrobbyflores]

Welcome to the waffle gang!

[@heathermiller5765]

@Amberlee Sibley This is one of my favorite comments I've seen so far. And I will second that welcome 😊

[@MarkNarrations]

woah that's crazy thank you so much

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - 10:43 - Snicker "trumpet solo" snicker! Story 2 - There's something to be said for both sides on this one. What sticks in my craw is that in so many families, if it were the man who got the huge promotion if he relocated, the wife and kids would move without a second thought. (Okay, not as many now as there would have been twenty or thirty years ago, but still.) 16:30 - Okay, now it's starting to sounds like they REALLY should move. If you're one emergency payment away from being homeless and you have a chance to change that, for God's sake, go for it! Especially when you have kids! Money isn't everything, but it does represent security! 16:41 - Is his mom sick, or very old? Is this an "I have to stay near her in her last days" sort of thing? If so, maybe he's got a point. If not, buy him a security blanket and start packing. Finally - I think they've made the best decision for their situation and I hope it all works out well for them.

[@cheekyweb8055]

Good for mama for standing up for her family!

[@stephaniewilson3955]

These stories both show such maturity from the narators. I hope all goes well with the second one. The first was wise to drop her adult baby.

[@Alteusgirl]

Story 1: "as my boyfriend puts it: i'm not allowed to complain about your body hair because it's nowhere near as bad as mine. i would be such a douche if i had a problem with your hair when mine is longer, bushier and i dont want to shave it or wax it or whatever". If i was Op i would have already told the bf long ago: ok shave yourself everywhere: pits, legs and groin constantly for 3 months and then we'll talk again and see if it's not that much of an effort. And this is how is should be, hair is not dirty we have hair for a reason.. There's also the issue of ingrown hair, itchiness, skin sensitivity and for pubic hair (which doesnt seem to be the issue in the post): infections, that hair is a protection and shaving it increases UTI's and risks of yeast and bacterial infections. Women nowadays refusing to shave is because we're tired of being told our natural body is gross or dirty and that we should risk problems just to please someone. ^^' many women also think their own hair is gross because we've been brain washed, i used to find my own hair gross.. now i don't care and shave when i feel like it instead of feeling like i HAVE to.

[@alyzu4755]

If BF is concerned about how his friends feel about OP's natural legs, then BF needs to find new friends. Or to, y'know, grow the hell up. Update: Geez, that guy's a jerk! So glad she's not with him anymore. She doesn't need to expend all that time & energy on idiots. Story 2: Well, that took a turn for the better! ☺️

[@veruschkadahmer1805]

The 2nd one had me so angry and depressed. When I read that OP was ready to give up on her promotion to ''keep the family together'', I felt super sad. Because she was basically admitting that she had to sacrifice herself to a unfair marriage. The fact that she even thought about refusing while they were struggling financially, with 2 kids, made me so upset. I was like, think about your kids future before your husband's stupid feelings ! I'm glad that she took the good decision after all, and that her husband managed to change his view point

[@AwolCommander]

Story 1: I feel horrible for OP. Body hair is such a dumb thing to argue over. Bodies can’t be perfect, and with how OP’s boyfriend handled it, I think OP got off pretty well. The redditors commenting on the op not shaving drive me insane, it’s both not your goddamn business AND it’s not even the main point of the post.

[@VesnaVK]

Also, there is nothing imperfect about body hair. It's simply a fashion to shave. Nothing more.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

I'm sorry but, gender aside, I've been told by a *surgeon* I should never shave. I had a medical issue and they told me to never shave my legs. If I was a woman, what would be supposed to do, die in a hole? Disgusting misogyny at its best. Some people cannot shave OR remove body hair. Some of those people happen to be women. All of the disapproving pearl-clutching assholes can get fucked.

[@WobblesandBean]

I guarantee every last commenter calling her "gross" is a neckbeard who only showers once a week.

[@catherinejones5723]

Lady you are not horrible for not shaving your legs. You explained thoroughly. This is no one's choice but yours. You sound a lovely and well put together person. Very refreshing.

[@zuzanaprihodova2132]

I like how Mark coments between the updates, than it feels like a litte detective story. Just makes me happy.

[@Davtwan]

“He hasn’t even outright spike to me about it.” That really says everything. If my significant other doesn’t properly communicate with me while doing passive-aggressive bull-honkey, then they would be getting a long earful from me.

[@Itzelhaim]

Story 1 : That's a hairy situation...but in all seriousness it's your body. Your boyfriend is AH.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I’d throw nair in his body wash and shampoo. Tell him I hate hairy men so we’re even

[@Miki23]

GOD PEOPLE.... get over the shaving the legs... who freaking cares. Your body your choice. I hate shaving my legs. they always get in grown hairs and it's painful. I'm glad she left the guy. Never change yourself for your partner.

[@shikuthetempest]

First comment I've seen talking about ingrown hairs and YES. That is the biggest reason I don't shave. I get at least one every time I shave. That shit hurts like hell :x

[@browniewin4121]

1) Good for you for realizing someone who does not accept you and appreciate you for who you are is not worth keeping in your life. I appreciate how you made a personal choice and were not allowing yourself to be passive aggressively bullied into changing for some insecure, immature guy. 2) You are his family, he needs to recognize that, and he is also being selfish for thinking his side of the family should get preference over your extended family when they would be available in a place where you would have opportunity for a better, more secure life. As my aunt used to say, "money is freedom" and you need to put the benefit for your children above all else. After update: Your husband is being an A*hole. I'm glad you and the kids have gone where you need to be. After 2nd update: I'm glad you and the kids are doing well, and that you realized that despite your desire for unity and the difficulty of being a single parent that you do not want your husband there with you if he were not willing to get therapy and make changes in the relationship. Best wishes OP.

[@cpaul9269]

story 2 - it always drives me nuts that conversations like this take place so late in a relationship. They seriously never discussed stuff like this prior to marriage, kids?! I just can't imagine doing those things without knowing stuff like this. Why is he so attached to his family's location?

[@xxKuroKajixx]

It's honestly disgusting how many people body-shamed her for not shaving. No one does that to dudes who don't want to shave. Eugh.

[@threeducks157]

I once asked fiancee "what would you do if i shave my arms and legs?" She gave me a serious look and said "ill dump you" of course she was kidding she would love me either way. Apparently big veiny hairy arms and legs are sexy, the reason i floated the idea of shaving is cause i wear bikeshorts and tank tops to exercise and make me a lil self conscious.

[@pansprayers]

Lol, my husband waxed his body hair on a dare (our friends in college were really stupid). There may have been screaming, akin to a dying rabbit. He flinches every time he sees a wax kit now in the store.

[@threeducks157]

@EDS Wanderlust Fairy yea i seen videos and it looks horrid lol i tried it on the back of my leg just out of boredom and curiosity and lets just say i have the upmost respect for people who do it ona regular basis lol.

[@pansprayers]

@@threeducks157 I think the experience broke him, haha. If I want to be left alone in the bathroom, all I have to do is announce, 'shaving' and all of the sudden I not only get unlimited peace in the bathroom, the dishes, laundry, and mopping are done in record time, and he's out the door to take out the trash. I try not to abuse that super power.

[@HaizeyWings]

@@pansprayers OMG that's hilarious!

[@ginathecookie]

@@pansprayers omg that is funny but i hope he's ok xD I'm glad you don't use it too much too 😁

[@firerosenight6937]

1) if woman are unhygienic for not shaving, what does that make men? 2) well ops husband has some big double standards to work through. But its good their working things out.

[@Dan-iq9td]

The world is full of double standards and the majority of them come from women.

[@firerosenight6937]

@@Dan-iq9td the double standards come from both sides

[@Dan-iq9td]

@@firerosenight6937 They do, but I bet I could name 10 times more double standards that come from women under 35 nowadays.

[@firerosenight6937]

@@Dan-iq9td men started it, now woman act entitled because of the systematic misogyny, and its honestly a sh!t storm of SOMEBODY always having a problem with something.

[@Dan-iq9td]

@@firerosenight6937 Systemic mysogony. Hahaha. The system is designed to protect women and serve their interests. If anything the system is stacked against men. Get out of here with your nonsense.

[@nomnomgoblin8901]

quick correction, the boyfriend wasn't being passive-aggressive. he literally bought shaving equipment for her because it was "on sale" even though she had already long since set this boundary. That's an actively aggressive act to trample on your boundaries. He was insecure and projected it onto OP and OP deserves better.

[@LoafEnd]

.... A man that abandoned OP and their kids to be closer to his mom is the "greatest man [OP's] ever known"? Is OP's location hell? What kind of people are they around? lol

[@teresadurham8828]

Right?? She is deep in the fog.

[@momotaro1236]

Story 1: NTA You were upfront with him about how you felt about leg hair, he wasn’t. I’m excited to see how he enjoys the products that he bought.

[@KalikaFirestorm]

I would kill to have it together and have the confidence that op from story one has.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

My brother used to shave his chest. I think he thought it would make him look more attractive to girls.He doesn't anymore, not because anyone complained about how it looked or felt, but because he wouldn't buy his own razors and he would use my sister and I's razors instead of his own and we complained plenty about that.

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@moon-moth1 which is why they probably complained

[@sopadumacacoumadelicia5]

@Gi Gi A bit yes, but they don't hurt as much lol

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

@Gi Gi We would buy men's razors because they were cheaper. I'm not paying extra for some pink paint.

[@animatorstanley]

As a ginger I have very light soft body hair, when I don't shave nobody notices but me. My partner doesn't really notice or care, I went from shaving everything to shaving nothing for years, though I did shave just my legs the other day and they are silky but dry. I have dry skin type.

[@KittenUndercover]

OP in story 1 - holy hell..I am more than a decade older than her and I wish I had her confidence and sense of self. That is a woman to be admired!

[@Meiiiow]

Hate those ppl that say women is nasty if they dont shave and being natrual when men can be hairy beast without any comment.

[@spinshocker]

I’m glad OP figured out she wasn’t satisfied with the relationship and got away from this guy. It’s one thing to be passive aggressive, but usually people snap out of it and speak honestly when they’re confronted. I can’t imagine having to guide a fully grown adult through his own feelings as if he’s a five year old who was fighting on the playground.

[@DaisyDwellings]

Lmao the people commenting on the first story are so incredibly childish it’s honestly sad. Saying body hair on (leg hair) on men is so fine and on women it’s disgusting. Like if we don’t shave our leg hair dirt and debris will get caught in it or it’ll have a weird smell. Like washing your legs hairy or hairless is the same. Also shows a lot of sexism and out of date views. Shaving doesn’t make you more or less feminine or masculine. I just feel bad for their outdated and really fucking dumb views, and the people they’ll try to impose it on.

[@angelaa7388]

Haha! I posted elsewhere on KZbin about how I had to stop shaving my armpits, and I was very self-concious about the body hair, but my husband was very supportive and even said he likes it. I was then harassed by an internet troll who told me it was unhygienic. I asked him "do you shave your head hair for hygienic purposes, or do you just WASH IT?" Obviously supposed to be rhetorical, but you know how trolls are.

[@jack0f4lltrades28]

Not shaving is fine. I personally would need to adjust to that if my partner did not shave, but like their are compromises to being in a relationship. It sounds like OP's bf wasn't willing to put in his part, like she said they weren't as compatible as she believed. Good on her for deciding to split up, wish her luck moving forward. Also, I wish I was six feet tall 🤣 me being 5'6 does that make me less of a man? I hope not lol

[@Emeraldwitch30]

Being tall doesn't make a man a real man. Just keep on being as nice as you seem on this post and you'll be fine! Lol. It has its disadvantages too. Both my hubs and son are over 6foot. They can't find anything below their waist lol. Plus the jerks think irs funny to put all my stuff on top shelves or hooks lol. I'm 5'5"(we love each other dearly tho, they just see empty spot-stick it there lol) My daughter is 5'4" we both have to use footstools/step stools to find crap lol.

[@Thoreaux]

I was going into story 1 thinking "if my partner wanted me to shave my legs I'd do it. Relatively easy way to make myself more attractive to them ftw, not worth making a fuss over." But by the end of it I was just quite annoyed with her bf for being such an apathetic communicator, not just about his inability to bring up his issue, but the apparent difficulty he had expressing *anything* once she had done the work of opening the discussion. She's miles ahead of him in maturity, probably better off without him. And yeah, it's weird that she had to defend herself so much about the body hair. I suspect her post got shared to some anti-woke sub and got comment bombed by a random crowd of "ugh, feminists!" dudes.

[@WuzzyBlu92]

I don't know if anyone else goes through this but I've avoided shaving as every time I did it was a nightmare. For weeks, my legs were in agony as all that hair started growing back. I do not care much for shaving my legs and would never coerce anyone into doing it if it meant moving was done through gritted teeth (and some tears :_( )

[@pansprayers]

It's likely the razor and your pre/during/post care products. When mine get that way, it's electric razor or one of those handheld light doodads until my skin stops wigging out. Your skin is the largest organ your body has, so roughing it up by repeatedly dragging a manual razor that is dull/doesn't have enough blades/or has a weird moisture strip your skin doesn't like is like salt in a wound. Goes double for any delicate facial skin men have to shave with any regularity.

[@HaizeyWings]

I can't shave either, whenever I use a regular (sharp and sterile) razor, I get a rash all over my legs and the regrowth period is soooo painful. What works for me is to use an electric trimmer that cuts the hairs to about 1-2 mm long. But I'm slowly working my way up to not caring and not shaving at all ^^

[@sebastianquinchia1840]

Small note, showering every single day isn't absolutely necessary. In fact it can actually really dry your skin out

[@Liz-eb5de]

I think he came back to her because he’s not financially stable and saw what it was like to live without get supporting him financially not cause he loves her and their kids because he obviously wasn’t thinking about the kids when he stayed

[@sherrygibbs7547]

Shaving is a "Society thing," encouraged even more by shaving-product companies......they make a hell of a lot of money on those products! OP might be a good advocate for other young women, helping with good self-esteem. Edited: added "even more."

[@pansprayers]

Super fun fact (because my brain soaks up this useless historical crap like a sponge): Shaving went from a fad started in the 1920's when skirts started getting shorter, to custom almost over night in 1941 when the manufacturing of silk stockings was curtailed due to the war effort. The practice was then to draw a stocking line with makeup down the back of freshly shaven, makeup bronzed legs to make faux stockings. You're welcome for that useless chunk of information 😉

[@strawberrysangria1474]

That's an interesting thing to bring up. Did you notice that male shaving cream is cheaper than females? Female cream is made to smell like flowers and berries but who really needs all that? You're right, it's for profit not hygiene.

[@pansprayers]

@@strawberrysangria1474 I've long maintained that it's those aweful wires wrapped around women's razors for 'safety' (such a joke, because we're expected to work around knives, flame and other hazardous materials in our kitchens, but are thought to be less capable around a Mach 5 razor than the average adolescent boy) that drives up the Pink Tax on the blades. I know there's an actual marketing reason for that over scented, over priced, less product by item stuff, but it's super early here, so the time frames are escaping me, haha.

[@thetechguychannel]

@@pansprayers Is that why since the 8th century women were portrayed in paintings without body hair? Guess shavers learned how to time travel.

[@justabunneh6490]

Women have been removing body hair for hundreds, if not thousands of years.

[@anntonigardner1510]

2) man OPs husband is kind of--super selfish. He really like his wife and kids go to another state and had the audacity to claim she was choosing money over family. He changed his choice in the end but it’s wild that he didn’t see the irony of staying behind and basically ignoring his kids

[@shells500tutubo]

AND, on top of it, the mother he was staying behind for had her own boyfriend who she put before her son, OP's husband!

[@hritwiksom3032]

"We are one emergency expense away from being homeless middle class" - this hit a little too close to home.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Story 1, NTA, the leg shaving doesn't fucking matter at all, and showering every two days AT LEAST? That's amazing that it works for her

[@shawnesmith5364]

Yea like the shaving isn’t even that bad. But the showering part I thought that might have been a typo, I can’t imagine how she still smells good. And I don’t know now thinking of it I wonder if it actually from her lack of shower that actually might be the issue, and he thinks it from the leg hair.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@@shawnesmith5364 showering every day is not necessary and it's bad for your skin. You don't need to shower to be clean.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

​@@shawnesmith5364 Some people sweat more, smell more and are greasier than others. Not everyone needs a shower every day, for some people it's not even good (for example if they have very dry skin). Not everyone smells bad if they shower once every two days. It all depends on your body, your activity and the environment. If you work in a hot engine room and come home all sweaty and smelling like diesel, then you should shower. If you've been working at a desk all day in an AC room, you haven't sweat and you have dry skin and no body odor, then you might not have to shower that day. When people smell bad it's coming from their crotch, armpits or mouth. So I doubt he'd think it was from her leg hair.

[@KB-tg7pf]

I have very sensitive skin and don't shave until the day before I plan to wear something short. My husband complained at first until I explained it. My legs need tine to recover between shaving. Same goes for showering. If I shower every day, my skin gets very dry and ironically, my hair gets MORE oily. So I shower every other day, taking bird baths on the day inbetween. My husband showers every day, sometimes twice a day, and he suffers from chronic, itchy, dry skin. I suggested he wait a day between showers, but it's a mental thing.

[@impagain]

I hate how judgemental people get about women not shaving. It's not unhygienic, it's a ploy in the early 1900s to sell more razors. Honestly it's kind of creepy if you go into thinnibg about it too much.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I was told that prostitutes in the 1800's started the trend in order to prevent the spread of pubic lice.

[@Godviahh]

the history of telling women to shave is full of sexism and racism. its shocking how fucked up the history of shaving is.

[@Cel3ere5]

I had a lady coworker who didn't shave. Not sure how we got on the conversation, but one day she hiked her trouser leg up, and we saw her leg hair. It was like a suggestion of felt, baby seal fur. She didn't need to. My other other coworker and I just stared in subtle jealousy. 🤣

[@teresadurham8828]

I am just dying over here at the "baby seal fur" part ⚰️ OMG! 🤣

[@lorrainebateman8799]

When my husband asked me to shave my armpits I said sure! - you first! He never did so I didn’t. We’re divorced now 🤣

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 1: .... i shave only when i feel the need to and even with that it takes me two or more days to remember "oh yeah i was going to shave" because i usually don't have the energy to keep up with it. so if i were 100% against shaving like op and my SO came back with products for shaving for me thats when i'd end things. or at least sit them down and give them an idea of whats going to happen if they don't cut the crap. edit to add: 6 ft women are gorgeous, wear those heels! anyone who dates you shouldn't complain nor compare you to others. story 2: take the promotion, move and take your daughter. stay married and if he wants to see his kid he knows where to go. edit to add: ah yes you listen pff lol

[@artemishallihan8973]

Im with story 1 op %1000 as a 6ft tall woman who liked girly things but learned early on that girly things are not designed for you. It's a losing battle to fit in despite constantly feel the societal pressure to do so.... if your lucky, you figure out quick to do what you like, give up trying to 'fit' and just make your own space.

[@vanessasorth4449]

I can't even see my leg hair or arm hair. It is so light that no one can.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Story 1: I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would give so much of a fuck about someone else's body hair. NTA, do whatever the hell you want!

[@shawnesmith5364]

Yea the thing I’m concerned about is the showering every two day part.

[@RedReaper666OG]

@@shawnesmith5364 That's been proven to be healthier than daily showers (unless you work closely with dookie, then yes daily). It dries the skin and hair out less, leaving you less at risk of topical bacterial skin infections. I was blown away when I learned that

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

​@@shawnesmith5364 Men also generally produce more body odor and oils than women do because of testosterone levels. It's usually the worst during puberty for boys. After puberty the hormones calm down a little bit and it's easier to manage. It could be completely normal for her to shower every two days and not smell bad. It's really as simple as "if you smell then shower. If you don't smell and you are clean you don't necessarily have to shower".

[@nobinary2296]

Just got the notification and immediately liked without looking. Will edit for my take on the story. Not that it matters. Lolz.😂👍🏻✨ Edit: Sorry to say this Mark, but women are constantly shamed like this. I, as a non-binary, with a female's body have been subject to it all my life. "A woman should-" "As a woman you should -" "You would look so much better if you would -" "A woman should know to have this in their purse-" "Wow. Women are so sensitive -" "Are you on your period-" It's honestly sad that people think they have a right to dictate how a woman's body should look. What we should wear. Our body hair. Our hairstyle. Our attitude. Our likes/dislikes. Body weight. I mean I realized I was being tested to see if I "really knew" what anime was by a guy. ANIME of all things. Or games. Don't get me started. I hope one day future generations will do better and we can all just get along and let people have their own bodies. All bodies are beautiful.

[@thedestroyasystem]

cool pfp :)

[@MarkNarrations]

I look forward to your take :)

[@nobinary2296]

@@thedestroyasystem Thanks! Your pfp is pretty cool too! I see a fellow Ace. 👀

[@nobinary2296]

@@MarkNarrations Just did my take and I let out a little laugh when I saw you JUST liked my comment and I posted the update. Removing the heart. Lolz. Anyway your content always brings a smile! Hope you're having a lovely day!

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Don’t you love the “u look like a dude/lesbian”. That’s “your lesbian hat”. Yes I’m pan but my clothing has no sexual identity

[@markanthony1004]

I hate how her not shaving her legs seems to be the issue for these people. What the hell?!

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

I really don't see the problem with women not shaving. It's such a nonissue that I'm surprised people feel this strongly about it. I am a little weirded out by the women who post pictures of their armpit hair, though. I mean if you want to normalize it, then normalize it. It would be like posting about eating food or going to the bathroom. But that's just my opinion. Women, you do you.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

I can be petty, I would agree to shave when he had a decent beard.

[@ginathecookie]

eating food.. not too bad. food is yummy bathroom one, yes unless medical condition regarding the arm thing, i get you very much you do you thing Apart from making people jealous about mentioning what I'm eating, I don't post about either but outside of that, yeah pretty much agree with you here.

[@censoredlove99]

I was thrown off a little when she said she showers atleast every two days….Why not everyday??? Idk that sounded kind of nasty

[@sleepyearth]

@@censoredlove99 it really depends on the place, like -30 degrees canada days....

[@Yllania]

@@censoredlove99 If youre filthy if you dont shower every single day that sounds kind of nasty unless youre a construction worker or live in a hot place lol. Every other day or every 2 days its better for your hair and skin.

[@someanon1984]

I trim my body hair and even wax it sometimes, but I'm definitely hairy most of the time. I understand that people have their preferences, but OP1's boyfriend sounds immature.

[@MM-fs7mt]

My general rule is: if a partner expects ME to be shaved, THEY need to be shaved too

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: NTA. It is a HUGE RED FLAG when your partner is allowing their friends' thoughts and feelings about you supersede their own. It is a sh*tty feeling.

[@theodoreslavo5385]

2nd story: "What's that..I can quit my job and become a stay at home father because wife will have a much better job?" I hope the family likes having smoked and grilled meats with dinner along with the occasional seafood boil and fresh made pizza/bread. I'd pounce on that offer with gusto.

[@nursebee-vomit5058]

Especially with two elementary schoolers. The dude could work on a business or investing too with all that free time. He gave up a golden ticket to live near his mom.

[@zerobolt9506]

I agree Mark on story 1, the people that keeps going back and forth are the same as the BF

[@faeriefire78]

The timing of story 1 is perfect because I JUST read a history of women shaving a couple hours ago! Women shaving wasn't even a thing until around 1915, when Gillette decided he could make a whole lot more money if women started shaving/buying his razors, so he started a campaign to advertise that not shaving your pits was embarrassing and unsightly for the new sleeveless fashions and that all cosmopolitan gals are shaving now. With these ads he started a whole new beauty standard for women that lasts to this day. His efforts to shame women into leg shaving failed for a while, because stockings were still used and more convenient. In the 40's, pin-ups were shaving their legs for the short shorts and bathing suits they wore, and since it was a lady's "duty" to be pretty for morale back home and the men were hot on the pin-ups, they started shaving first for the war effort, and later because nylon and silk were diverted for parachutes and uniforms. You had to use leg makeup for the "hosiery" look, but the effect was ruined by leg hair, so off it went! I personally can't stand being hairy, but my ladies who want to Squatch out should take pride in subverting a beauty norm constructed by some old dude who wanted more money over 100 years ago. 🤣🪒🦵

[@TheLugiaSong]

So the reason is.... capitalism? That doesn't surprise me at all. _Loads_ of reasons for how stuff are in modern day is because of marketing campaigns, usually from the US and then those standards blending in to world-wide culture. It's bonkers quite how much of this is the case.

[@loiracitr]

Yup. You can see a lot of photos of 1960 Hollywood stars with hairy armpits 😊

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) I won't lie, I have to shave, not just because I like being soft, but I feel cleaner, I'm not itchy after I shave, I don't worry about clothing ripping out little hairs, I feel more confident and like I look nicer and then there's when I don't shave I get acne on my legs, I hate it. But I'm not everybody, some people rather never shave or wax and that's okay too. Personal preferences matter, if you don't like someone who doesn't shave, don't be with them, if you don't like people who do shave then don't be with them. Stop trying to force people to be what you like, if you like someone who's purple don't date someone who's blue, stop trying to change people to fit your needs, go find someone who you like for themselves and likes you for yourself, yes sometimes you need to compromise but that's on small things and if you know it'll make the person resent you then you don't force it on them. And if someone tells you from the beginning that they won't change something about themselves and it's what they like about themselves, don't assume that you can accept it now and change it later after they "fall in love with you" or feel they can't leave because you've been together for so long. Edit because I accidentally put the wrong story number 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@ghostcraft3370]

The attitude toward the OP that doesn't shave is fucking disgusting. It's so hypocritical that people will say not shaving is gross and then not shave themselves. News flash, hair isn't unhygienic if you're taking care of yourself properly!!

[@BitterSimplicity]

And the fact that they were giving her shit for not showering every single day? You aren't supposed to! It dries out your skin and strips your hair and scalp of necessary oils.

[@robertx8020]

General question about Reddit: Are the rules on reddit that vague? Are (some of ) the admins just AHs? I see so many times "I was not allowed to update" "my post got removed" "my post got locked" "other reasons" ? I'm not on reddit that much (most of the time it is because of posts here ) but hear this A LOT!

[@daisychain5087]

It worries me for OP that she thinks it's a GOOD sign that her hubby is still out of work. If he were genuinely working his tail off to do right by his family, securing gainful employment would've been amongst his very top priorities. First, a good partner always wants to contribute equitably. Period. Second, it doesn't matter that she's earning enough to support the family on her income alone ATM. They had been scraping by for years. A man whose thinking had sincerely shifted for the better, would've realized very quickly that her income gives them the rare opportunity to DINK, whilst having children - and therefore, to finally save for the children's future educational training (whether collegiate, vocational, or through apprenticeship/pupillage), their retirement, and funding passion projects as well as vacations during said retirement.