I've Discovered Fiancee's Infidelity 4 Months Before The Wedding r/Relationships

[@madambutterfly1997]

Working too much and not spending enough time with you will never in 1 million years be an excuse to go and cheat on a person.

[@GLoLChibs]

Especially when they're working in order to provide for your jobless butt.

[@randomusername3873]

No wonder they are not spending time with you, you spend half of the time cheating

[@madambutterfly1997]

If my significant other was working a lot to where I barely see them I’d become a serial Netflix watcher.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

And he was working extra so she wouldn't have to. She is evil lol You know once the breakup is complete she's going to tell everyone he abused her. She seems like that type.

[@tyhester4477]

I'll just wait a million years then

[@MorganaCrow]

I love how she's blaming him for lack of communication but seemingly never communicated her feelings about the lack of communications. I think she just wanted something on the side

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? She's not exactly cursed with self- awareness.

[@CyeOutsider]

She just can't admit that she's immature and saw cheating as her only option rather than just communicating like an adult.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Either that or she was too desperate for attention. Lots of people young and old are attention seekers.

[@jamiesatyr1309]

​@@PrincessQ-fj9ly He was totally supporting her at the time: $5000+ last count. 😅

[@pippo17173]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly I hate people like this. I knew too many in fan groups I use to be part of and oh god they are just horrible.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

OP is so easily manipulated. I see why she thought she could get away with it. She frames all of his arguments in bad faith and he considers her POV even though she's obviously a liar.

[@tallyp.7643]

She pegged him as an overanalyzer type. I overanalyze things til I drive myself nuts if I get too far into thinking about them. Helluva tactic, but you gotta stop, reconnect with the original point. Thankfully it's been ages since anyone tried to manipulate me through this tendency of mine.

[@GMAMEC]

It’s frustrating.

[@ineedhoez]

Most definitely. He is so used to being abused he us completely identified with his abuser. Reminds me of that Django unchained movie, when Samuel K Jackson's character was like, "massa we's is sick"

[@lynnw7155]

He's so defensive, explaining everything over and over. The only way to deal with someone pointing out all your flaws is to tell the person "well, if I'm so awful, you shouldn't be with me. Bye."

[@beccaf262]

The irony of her saying this wouldn’t be happening if he had been a better communicator?? When she literally never said a word to him and just went for another dude. No doubt she’ll come crawling back.

[@JY-vh3be]

I also notice how she complained about him working too much and not spending time with her. If he was unemployed, she would have complained about how she wasting her time with a deadbeat and how she has to pay all the bills.

[@chriscarr7397]

I do believe one day, Karma will come get her and punish her for what she did.

[@Schwiegermutter]

Nah, ser: she is a woman and in that case it's still his fault for not creating a loving and caring environment where she can trust him with her thoughts. Dont underestimate the female capability to mindbend

[@yozarahirvi4750]

@@chriscarr7397 well, she's leaving a 7 years relationship for a fling with a coworker (something HR might not appreciate and that might leads to their unemployment) who's 15-20 years older than her and is divorced with multiple kids, my bet is Karma will hit her before the date the wedding was supposed to happen ...

[@FoxExcess]

Likely not because this story is an obvious fake. Listen to it again and see if you can figure it out.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Thank God it was four months before the wedding and not the night before

[@uncr0wnedKing]

Or after the wedding

[@JY-vh3be]

Or after there were children involved.

[@lulul0l039]

Or after kids

[@rf159a]

I rented a condo for 11 years until I could finally buy a house. The day I told my landlord I was moving because I finally was able to get a house, he was very sad. He told me I was the only one who paid on time and took care of the place. His other properties were rented to family. He had nothing but problems with them!!! Don't rent to family!!!

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Unfortunately, that adage works both ways. I had rented from a family friend, and he charged me full market rate. No biggie, it makes sense. What didn't make sense was when I took possession of the home and realized the water wasn't off because it was vacant and no utilities were turned on, until I turned them on. No, the water was turned off, because he turned it off at the main line. The water company guy who came out to reconnect our lines said that was weird - Why disconnect from city water, when there are no wells or anything in our area? Then I found out... Because all of the "renovations" the fucker did, he did with bottom tier DIY BS. The wiring was fucked, he left open and exposed wires EVERY WHERE in the walls and OUTSIDE. He even used a pile of dead leaves to hide several exposed wires from the appliances he stole/sold before renting it to us. (Yes, he expected US to buy new appliances for HIS house). The electrician said it was just sheer luck that the house hasn't yet gone up in flames, especially when the electrician noticed water leaking in the crawl space... Which was the reason he disconnected it from the mainline - to hide that ALL of the pipes were badly fitted, leaking, and destroying everything. I also learned that the house was FILLED with Aspergillus black mold, and he "fixed it" by covering it up with wall paper. Obviously adding moisture back to the home reinvigorated the mold, and it over took the wall paper too. The floor in one of the rooms rotted and fell through (luckily no one was hurt), and he had to have the health dept come out to inspect and condemn it in order to get out of our lease. (because Yes, he expected US to remediate all the issues in his home, at our own cost, while paying him FULL rent, or he was going to have his attorney come after us.) The health inspector was disgusted by all the violations, and gladly gave the VoC data to the Legal Aid attorney helping me. Even in the end, when he realized he wasn't going to be able to scam us, he thought he would still give us a final "Fuck you!" by trying to put and eviction on our record, even though we had vacated and served him a Warranty of Habitability. So we had to go to court several times to fight all that. That "don't work with family" knife cuts in ALL directions, and OP's brother was a dick. OP was smart to not give him notice. The brother had already prove he was happy to be petty and vindictive, while trying to break OP with "a death by a thousand cuts". If he had been given warning, the brother would have done anything and everything to hinder the sale and/or kill the house value. (I feel like he was trying to hurt OP's bottom line so much, to force OP to be desperate to sell at any price in order to save his sinking ship, which is fucked up to do to someone you claim you love, and who has helped you) Lol, if OP was feeling petty, and didn't mind a few more "you should be nice to the brother who took advantage of you!" calls, I would call the brother tell him "BTW, thank you SOOOOO much for that hot water heater upgrade! Without it, I don't think the person would have bought the house, but they said adding that hot water heater pushed the value up by an extra 6 figures! You're the best, Big Bro, thanks again!"

[@mewlover2482]

My mother owns a 2nd house due to an old friend offering it for a lower price years ago. She rents to a family with a kid that isn't nurotypical. Moms never had an issue with them paying on time or anything. It depends on the family.

[@paulqueripel3493]

​@@mewlover2482 I think the don't rent to family means don't rent to siblings/cousins etc, not a family.

[@barbthegreat586]

​@@mewlover2482 It always depends. My friend rents to a single mom with two small children. Best tenant ever (meaning, she takes a very good care of the property and now has an under market value rent).

[@carylhalfwassen8555]

@@Original_Tenshi_ChanNo house inspection before closing? No attorney to assist the closing? Your fault.

[@alexandradosado3084]

There is no excuse for cheating, if someone is not happy in a relationship break up and then find a new relationship.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

"I do things she misinterprets as rude." Yeah and I can see how her cheating might be considered rude, too.

[@WobblesandBean]

💀💀💀

[@DragonicGamer32]

Cheaters will try to find any way to NOT take accountability for their own actions. And part of it I believe is because they themselves would not condone cheating from the other party so they have to come up with an excuse for it to NOT be cheating so they feel good about themselves.

[@madambutterfly1997]

In the position of the fiancé, I would do anything and everything to keep myself busy that doesn’t involve cheating.

[@yarningchick]

One word. Hobbies. Other than cheating. Okay, more than one word, but you get the point.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

I’ll never understand how seemingly great people are secretly like this. Like I always imagine cheaters as bad people. But I know that they can hide that part so well that you might not see it until it’s years into a relationship.

[@brigidtheirish]

There are usually red flags if you know where to look, but that's the trick.

[@bhutehole]

the overwhelming majority of people are selfish in some way that makes them depolorable to at least half the population. humans just suck simple as

[@angietyndall7337]

Tbh, my family thought that my sister's ex-husband was great for her. Keep in mind, my sister grew-up in an abusive home along with me and my younger sister. I mean they went on dates while married;etc. HOWEVER, like many my sister found out through an electronic device he was using. ...cell phone if I recall. He found a job in OK. and while my sister was back in OK., getting the house ready to sell and then selling it in WA., she found out that he had been cheating on her for 19 of 20-21 years of marriage. His reasoning for cheating made me sick as he always told her that he would do anything to help her; etc. Now, mind you my sister is disabled with a herneated disc and Fibromyalgia...both disabiltating and classified her as 100% disabled. Well, he c/o not getting enough sex and having to do "everythinng, because of her becoming disabled. Mind, you too, my sister supported his going to college and she had to give her chance up for years while she was able to work, before she became disabled. Yes, she eventually did go to college, but ONLY after years. She became disabled only shortly graduation and working to help Veterans in a hospital for them. Yeah, it turns out Mr. Wonderful also bitched about having my nephews and tteated them like shit...but oh no, even after his divorce of her and marrying his mistress he c/o helping with the kids, treated them still like shit, and forcing my sister to take care of them while she was on SSDI. Oh yeah and the house they bought, she spent alot of time decorating with beautiful furniture in OK., she found out the reason for his instance of her not putting her na on the house; etc. It was SO his mistress could move in with him. OH, YEAH and before one of my nephews graduated Highschool and was not even 18; he dumped him off and told him that he was his mother's problem now. Yup, a 🤬 Narcisst, textbook, no joke!!

[@BbiBbii]

Sometimes it’s cause they didn’t start out bad, but somewhere along to line they just decided to be. I think it’s impossible to hide yourself for THAT long. I think people just decide to be bad one day/once they’re presented with a change to be bad, like they end up in a situation where they can do something bad, do it & realize what they did was wrong, realize they got away with it for the first time, and got a rush from doing it, so they just kept on going.

[@JordanDragonAs]

​@@BbiBbii that's not necessarily true most of these are people who hide their true feelings and personalities and they think no one will ever leave or break up with them.

[@hilarymurray8741]

Rent to brother story : If OP had told his brother he was selling the house, the brother would have ceased to pay rent immediately and tried to hinder the sale.

[@terramarini6880]

Sold to a developer, they care naught about such things, they will yeet him out to tear the place down. No effs given, if he trashes the place it will make no difference on demo day.

[@skyelindsey687]

@@terramarini6880 but it will make a difference in house value prior to it being sold. Even if they are planning on demolishing it anyways they can still ask for a discount if the brand new water heater was gone or holes were in the wall.

[@jackspring7709]

A very convincing and unabashed liar, too. OP was VERY lucky to find out when he did. I get the impression that this is something his fiancee has been doing for a while and had no intention of stopping.

[@FoxExcess]

It's a fake story..

[@tatkkyo9911]

The second it turned out the brother had the money and was just being an asshole is where my sympathy for the family disappeared. Also, the family got served notice by the buyer, so they likely have a month and all the money they owe op.

[@serenityserena118]

I remember the story when it came out on reddit, OP's brother actually got 90 days to move out so the kids could finish the school year

[@toothless3835]

@@serenityserena118 yeah those people with the "should've given an heads up" are all weird. a house usually takes months to sell. Not a week. There wasn't really a time for him to give him the heads up and he had a lease agreement. Which was a minimum of 30 days. That's all the time he needs to give.

[@owenfautley]

​@Toothless The house was not up to code so the brother has every right to withhold payment. Part of maintenance is upgrading outdated things the landlord is the one who is responsible for rebursing what the brother payed for the item and gets the installation done for free as part of said maintenance.

[@tatkkyo9911]

@Owen Fautley never once was it said that the house wasn't up to code. They said it wasn't rated for such a large family. Also, if a residence isn't up to code, you have to go through a process with code enforcement.

[@owenfautley]

@@tatkkyo9911 Yes he did when he said the wiring was old and was not suitable for modern electronics.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

OP's definitely lucky to be rid of that selfish cheater. Poor guy deserves better than that. The silver lining though? He found BEFORE he married her. Sure he lost a 7 year old relationship but hey, at least he won't be caught up in a legal battle with his ex. Selfish people almost always try to burn the lives of their exes to the ground in court.

[@FoxExcess]

He didn't lose anything except 7 minutes of writing up a lie.

[@insideAdirtyMind]

Even if he did not had enough time for her.....this is not an excuse for cheating, if you have problems you don´t discuss this AFTER the cheating, if you don´t want to be in the realtionship you break up and don´t trashtalk the one that you love and sleep with some other man/woman. Cheater will find every reason to justify their own love for the betrayel of someone that trusts them. There is no other reason for cheating.

[@tallyp.7643]

Reminds me what another betrayed spouse said about communication and cheating, because they all of a sudden ALWAYS seem to want to talk about their oh-so important relationship the OP is destroying after the infidelity. Paraphrasing (been a while since I watched the video) but it was something like: "The time to communicate is long before infidelity. After cheating, all that's left is excuses and hot air."

[@TechnoMageB5]

Trust is the keystone to any relationship. It is like climbing a mountain - can take years, decades, to climb up, but one slip - all gone. The cheater might have been justified to be upset with OP**, but once she chose to cheat, none of that matters anymore. She lost the moral high ground and the relationship by destroying the trust between them through her actions. **Most of the time the justifications are just excuses made up after the fact to deflect blame and accountability. OP can potentially reflect, learn and adjust his behavior for other relationships going forward, but should not spend excessive time or give too much credit to the ramblings of a proven deceiver.

[@mojavegreen2072]

OP sounds like my husband. He gets way caught up in worrying about finances and retirement. I get way caught up in raisins children. Then we have a “come to Jesus moment.” We hash it out, realizing both of us are moving the same directions, sometimes on different paths. It’s called teamwork, who needs someone who has to make-out on a basketball to feel better? She’s trash, get a real partner, they are out there!

[@CygnusPrime]

*Story 2* To all the people calling OP the AH, do you realize the damage a tenant can do to a house in the time it takes to complete escrow. Especially a family member with no assets. Even if OP wins in court he will get $100 a month.

[@WobblesandBean]

That's Reddit for you. They're all staunchly anti-landlord, no matter what. It's like shades of grey don't exist to these people. It's asinine.

[@terramarini6880]

Developer bought it to tear down, no one needed to give a rats behind about the delinquent rent tenant's feelings or reaction. Developers do this all the time, they aren't cowed by his little tantrums and will have him out in 60 days tops, peanuts for them as they usually buy up adjacent properties until they get a decent sized chunk before beginning construction. Bro is a gnat to them in the grander scheme of things.

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

It’s funny to me because they’re always going off about how they need to serve an eviction notice and get whoever it is out, but since it’s his brother it’s somehow different? The fact that OP’s parents are on his side in this should be enough reason for anyone to see this was the right choice to be honest. There’s a reason why no one else is helping the brother out especially his own parents. The same people calling him the a-hole are the same people to cry “bUt FaMiLy!” People who grow up in perfect families have absolutely no idea how bad a dysfunctional one can be. Also how it was pointed out that his brother was hoping he would just sell the house to him to be done with his antics is exactly how I viewed it. The brother is just pissed that he fucked around and screwed up a good thing he had.

[@angelal6700]

Been there, seen that. Stolen appliances, crusty carpet, dents in walls.

[@ViciousNer]

I think he’s an asshole for telling his brother only after he sold the place. This bullshit about feeling bad for his SIL is a lie. If he cares about them he would’ve given them a heads up. That said, he’s well within his rights to sell. His brother pushed his luck too far and now he lost out on a very cushy deal. That’s his own fault.

[@blueraven3663]

Story 1: how can op not listen when she didn't talk in the first place? Like a part of communicating is just saying something is bothering you. Like she could have said. "Hey op I noticed that you're working a lot and I'm feeling a bit lonely because of it" then they could discuss it.

[@FoxExcess]

Because OP doesn't actually have a woman in his life hence why he made up this fake story.

[@arctiwolf857]

​@FoxExcess I'm curious about this even though it's 10 months down the line. Did replying to multiple comments with this same or similar message make you feel cool? Did you get a dopamine rush from it? Did you feel like the smart guy for saying something most people already know about Reddit stories?

[@alicewilloughby4318]

7:28 - I'm with you, Mark. I feel bad for whichever poor dog ends up separated from both its "siblings". I hope whoever keeps it can find (and afford) some kind of doggie-daycare, so it won't be alone all day.

[@lux0rd01]

Going from having friends to being alone can destroy and even in some cases kill animals. They can easily become depressed from loneliness and I've even heard of animals dying from broken hearts from losing a friend they were too closely bonded with dying or suddenly disappearing. I feel bad for all 3 of the dogs being split up like that.

[@xxKuroKajixx]

Cheaters are immature and won't take responsibility for themselves. Such red flags with her.

[@bettinahooper5344]

Story 1: it’s called gaslighting.

[@FoxExcess]

It's called a fake story

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 NTA. The brother didn't keep up his end of the bargain. I wouldn't offer someone a chance to pay when they can't even pay rent. That just seems like a slap in the face. I don't believe he was getting money together for an offer. If he could pay but didn't, he's an even bigger AH.

[@brigidtheirish]

I'm leaning more toward ESH only because OP *should have* informed his brother that he was selling the house. After he already had a buyer lined up, yes, but he should've said something.

[@barbthegreat586]

​@@brigidtheirish No, he didn't need to. Firstly, brother in the house has been a temporary solution since the very beginning (listen again). Brother also didn't inform him that he's not paying the rent or he's late with payment. Dont piss off people who are continuously making you a favour.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@barbthegreat586 *Need* to, probably not, but it'd be *right.* Temporary or not, the brother was a tenant whose residence was being sold out from under him without notice until the new owners served him an eviction. That's bad form at best.

[@barbthegreat586]

@@brigidtheirish The brother will be informed by the new owners that he needed to move, and will be given a deadline according to legal timelines (not eviction - this only comes if a person refuses to move). So, problems with informing and timelines solved. It's more than a reasonable assumption that if somebody doesn't pay the rent (on time), the tenant doesn't have the money to buy. As with everything in life, if you're a shitty person and a tenant, people tend not to like you, watch their backs and don't make you favours even if they're your siblings.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@barbthegreat586 I'm not talking about giving the brother a chance to buy the place, I'm talking about informing him that the place will no longer be available to him.

[@JuanGonzalez-xv7zw]

This story is why people need to be careful when dating someone who absolutely refuses to accept any blame or fault for anything. My ex wife was like this. In the beginning of our relationship, people (including me) thought it was just a funny quirk but as time went on it only got worse. In the 10 years we were married she never once accepted she was wrong. Even after she filed for divorce in an attempt to screw me over, she tells anyone who would listen that I was the one that abandoned her.

[@WobblesandBean]

My ex husband was like this, too. Like OP's ex, he also would get LIVID if I spoke to anyone about our issues looking for support, yet he would talk about me freely to his friends.

[@jonathanbrown7250]

my ex was like this, too. I made the mistake of seeing it as a minus quality to be balanced against a number of plus qualities. When what it really is is A DEAL BREAKER. A relationship with a person who will not ever accept any responsibility or admit they're ever wrong is like rot. It will destroy all. Just a question of time.

[@JuanGonzalez-xv7zw]

@@WobblesandBean Same here, my ex badmouthed me to everyone she could to turn them against me, including my mother and sister

[@JuanGonzalez-xv7zw]

@@jonathanbrown7250 I remember with my ex, I was blamed completely for out arguments and disagreements. She would even get angry with me over things that had nothing to do with me like when she was angry at her boss.... Friends of ours would think it was funny and say "oh that's just how some girls are".... or they would spew out the "happy wife, happy life" bullshit

[@bhart3321]

@@JuanGonzalez-xv7zw I swear to god the only people that actually spout that "happy wife, happy life" nonsense are abusers & mentally deranged.

[@sakurased101]

Story 1 Contact her work place and report the affair. And with proof of infidelity you can sue for damages from the guy.

[@FoxExcess]

Girlfriend (according to OP): "I would have rather gotten a job than have you gone all the time" Also OP: So she met this guy at work Stop believing everything you hear on the internet. This story is obvious BS.

[@GLoLChibs]

People like OPs partner: "I cheated because you work too much and don't spend time with me!" Also people like OPs partner: "I need you to provide everything because (insert reason here)." Pick a lane, you can't drive in both. Bill fairies that pay living expenses for you went extinct some time ago.

[@WobblesandBean]

I wish bill fairies were real

[@FoxExcess]

Girlfriend (according to OP): "I would have rather gotten a job than have you gone all the time" Also OP: So she met this guy at work Pick a lane for your fake story OP

[@GLoLChibs]

@@FoxExcess Then she could've on her own at any point. OP's ex didn't say that until after she got busted cheating.

[@onnas5610]

Last story: it's common sense that if you don't pay your rent or make constant late payments, then you can expect to be evicted. Family or not OP's brother knows how renting works and was taking advantage of OP.

[@tallyp.7643]

Sing it with brother dear: "But FAAAAAAAMMMILLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!!" He was totally counting on that, and other people in the family pushing OP into a no-win situation so he could underhandedly try to buy the place from him. OP needs the rent. All brother would be doing is paying all that late rent in one sum and go "we're gonna buy the place from you." Uh, no, that's NOT how this works. Can't believe bro thought he could do that and OP wouldn't figure it out.

[@onnas5610]

@@tallyp.7643 and he was probably gonna go for the "family discount". Probably even try to get OP to gift/donate him the house "bc Family" and OP should think about his nephew.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

There was a comment on the esh one about how the brother would have probably ruined the sale and/or destroyed the house if he knew about it and I agree with them. That brother is a shit tenant and most tenant are only given like a week notice or 48 notice to get out when property is sold anyways.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Funny how as soon as she's caught that she realizes she has the ability to speak. This relationship is over. Cancel everything break up and count your blessings you're no longer connected to her. She loves him right? Let her be his problem. So because you told the truth about her cheating she couldn't go around to others and make up a lie. Be glad to be done with this vile thing OP. S2) He agreed to the up keep and maintence. He doesn't get to saddle the bill to you when he wants to live outside of his means on your dime. Glad that you were able to be rid of this parasite. Do yourself a favor and be rid of his enablers too.

[@FoxExcess]

The first story is a lie, so save your "making up a lie" speech for OP himself

[@djskjyy]

I get that reddit has a thing against landlords but jeez, op is not the AH in story 2

[@WobblesandBean]

Yup. But that's Reddit for you. "I'm angry I have to pay rent so I'm going to hate ALL landlords regardless of the situation"

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NTA. I used to be a landlord and the number one rule we abided by is to not rent to family or friends. Because both will try to take advantage of you while thinking that being related or acquainted is a reason to fuck you over. Hell that was a smooth move especially since her brother thought that he could manipulate her through sibling guilt. Good on op for not letting him use her.

[@barbthegreat586]

So agreed!

[@calmingvoice8646]

Cheaters trying to call out others for lack of communication 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@FoxExcess]

Saying your girlfriend cheated with a co-worker but then claiming you were working so hard so she wouldn't have to get a job 🤣🤣🤣🤣 This story is so fake.

[@madambutterfly1997]

The minute you cheated on me, and I found it was the minute you became replaceable in my eyes.

[@johndavidson2365]

Story 1. Cancel the wedding. Go your own way. And for the love of God stop letting her gaslight and manipulate you!!! The fact she blames you for working your ass off for her benefit is bs. She is blame shifting!

[@dabeast9000]

Op should count his blessings she showed her true colors and he was able to dodge a bullet. Typically she of course dodges accountability with her narcissism and selfishness and puts all the blame on op, at least he came out wiser and stronger.

[@FoxExcess]

OP should write better fiction next time where he doesn't forget that he said she has a job but then claims he wasn't home because he was working oh so hard so she didn't have to work.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Communication is a two-way street. No single person in the relationship is wholly responsible for that.

[@aspidistraeliator]

The cheating person is ALWAYS at fault. If they want to cheat they are not that into their partner, so should just break up. That is the ONLY proper way to do it.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@aspidistraeliator a few years back, I was in the belief that the cheater had no side of the story to tell because their side of the story was inherently invalid. Nothing they say can EVER justify anything they did.

[@aspidistraeliator]

@@madambutterfly1997 which is a true statement, because you SHOULD just leave. Not cheat.

[@goatkiller666]

What gets me is that OP was surprised she was unhappy with him. But she agreed to the wedding and kept planning it with him, anyway. That’s shady AF. And it shows that it was never about her being unhappy. Any reasonable person adjust their behavior based on what she says and does. But she was hiding her feelings. He had no way to do better.

[@barbthegreat586]

She also didn't communicate her displeasure with him paying for her, three dogs and a horse!

[@ashh4929]

Seriously, I will never get people claiming they are soooooo unhappy, but keep planning a wedding or staying put in said scenario. I mean, I understand leaving a marriage is far more difficult than leaving beforehand, but you have options if you aren't tied down. (Well, even if you are, you have options)Either way, it doesn't give you any excuse to act like that to anyone. FFS people, life is too short to 1) be unhappy with what you're doing or who you're with and 2) to be hurting people in such a magnanimous and usually life altering way for your own self-centered main character monolog.

[@IFAMILYIH]

SHE’S REALY GOOD AT TRYING TO AVOID RESPONSIBILITY

[@nyxcuseme]

I hope the dogs will be alright! I have three dogs and sometimes my mum takes one of them for a walk alone (big dogs, small mum 😂) and when it's the youngest that stayed home he will cry until the other is back, even if it's just 30 minutes. I could never tear them apart like that, I hope they don't just do that so it is a "fair split". Cause it probably won't be a "fair split" for the animals.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Story 1: several red flags, even a financial one. Many bullets dodged.

[@scottluther6699]

Lol, this shit always seem to happen when family/friends and money mix. I’ve always had a rule that has kept me from having these issues. I NEVER loan money to family/friends with the expectation that it’ll be repaid. So if I can’t afford to lose the money, I don’t pretend to loan it. So far, I’ve never been disappointed, nor have I ever been paid back, but I have refused a few times too.

[@kateemma22]

That comment that broke down every technique and added the analogy about the house was ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL.

[@ShubhamBH22]

Story 1: It's not that the cheating ex doesn't want to throw away 7 years of relationship, it's that she doesn't want to give up on that 3k sq feet and 5 acres of land with the horse. She literally only wants to continue to use OP as an ATM and is not interested in their 'relationship'. It's sad that she did manage to put it in OP's head that it was his fault and that he lied to her parents that everything was fine instead of telling them the truth about their daughter, I can easily see the ex spread lies with this opportunity about why the wedding was called off.

[@tallyp.7643]

Yes, NEVER cover a cheater. I don't care if it's male or female. NEVER cover a cheater or give some b.s. excuse as to why things didn't work out. If her parents ask what happened, just say the truth: "I caught her trash-talking me to a guy at her job over the phone and they're having some kind of affair. She complained I worked too much AFTER I caught her. She didn't bother to tell me she was unhappy and STILL planning the wedding while seeing this guy. I'm not staying with someone who cheats." Even fi they get mad and don't believe you (or don't care because they're manipulative AH's too), you said your piece and told them the truth. Eventually they'll believe it when they see how she turns out and she can't manipulate the story from the start. It'll also be cathartic and help OP stop putting some of the blame on himself. Post-cheating "conversation" is just hot air and excuses from the cheater. The time to talk was before.

[@FoxExcess]

The fact you actually believe this story is real is too funny

[@ShubhamBH22]

@@FoxExcess What's more funny is you replying to everyone that this story is fake because you lack reading comprehension.

[@gretchenmyers1279]

final story thoughts: I don't think I would have told my brother, either, for fear of revenge damage. Bro has already shown his true colors by withholding rent if feeling slighted. NTA Yeah, it could have sucked for the kiddies, but I would fork out first, last and deposit of a new place so kids aren't homeless, before risking possible loss of a sale of my property

[@Tammohawk1]

1. I bet she was showing him techniques, but it wasn't about the job. This is why you shouldn't buy large assets together until you are married! I agree with you Mark, better now than later after marriage and children. I was with my husband for 35 yrs., married for 32. We had plenty of ups and downs over the years, but I never thought of cheating. You don't get to blame your partner for your bad behavior or choices. 2. In most states it's illegal to not notify your tenant that you are selling the home you are renting to them. But I don't blame OP for selling the house due to his brothers antics. This is why you don't mix business with family/friendships.

[@Ospyro3em]

Ex is taking absolutely none of the blame in this. Good to see her true colours before the wedding took place

[@jackspring7709]

Lol OP. Her claims that you didn't listen to her or pay her attention were just excuses she was using: I'm dismayed that you are now looking into your 'personal laws' on the word of a sneaky liar.

[@brie1162]

20:22 I’m going with NTA in the last story. To everyone saying that OP is the AH for not letting him know they are about to be homeless, eviction notices are 30 days, not “right now”. If the brother “has the money” to make an offer, he has the money to get an apartment or another rental home. If there is a gap between a move in/out date, they can get in to temporary accommodations as well. An Airbnb or vrbo, even a short term hotel stay would work. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just something with space for them till they can move in to the new home or apartment. So, NTA for giving them an eviction notice.

[@sandrapersaud3105]

Story 2: Never ever rent, lease, or have family live with you for free. It always turns into a disaster 😕.

[@emcustard]

Story 2: The people arguing YTA or ESH either don't know much about real estate or don't care. An eviction notice still gives the family 30 days to find other living arrangements. The house sold in less than a week, so giving the brother notice would have given him an extra 7 days, tops.

[@RaizelSX]

Personally I think he should have sold it to his brother, and let him work for it from there. He didn't even have to tell the brother he was also selling it to developers, just say buy it or get out, while making a note of the house's condition

[@markbigbadbear]

And yet again the cheater has no remorse, no accountability. The mistaken need for attention and validation ruins more relationships than lack of communication.

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

Why does every cheater have the same crappy excuses for cheating? 1)Lack of communication. - They didn’t communicate that they were feeling that way either. 2)Just a kiss. - Why would you even kiss someone else when you’re in a committed relationship? (Also the people that say that there were “opportunities” to cheat but didn’t do so fall into this category, like what does that even mean you had an opportunity to??) 3) Didn’t mean anything. - So the relationship also meant nothing since they were able to throw it away so easily. 4) Working too much / not home enough. - So wanting to provide for the family so you could have a better life and not worry about financial issues is something you dislike about your partner? But you know as soon as they find someone who is home all of the time they would be mad they didn’t have a job and were a bum. Can’t have it both ways. The best part is you KNOW that if all of these problems were actual problems in their relationship it would have ended well before then.

[@FoxExcess]

It's a fake story bro.

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

@@FoxExcess probably, but doesn’t change things though as I didn’t even say anything about the story. Just stated the things cheaters say to make themselves look like the victim in situations. Maybe read the comment next time before you jump on the “it’s not real” bandwagon as it wasn’t even saying anything about the story ✌🏼

[@MacBailey]

Story 1: Cheaters cheat because they can and they just want to. The catch the new person tingles and just do. But cheating on the way home from wedding preparations? Just Wow. Get out while she is still in the 'affair fog' to get the best deal you can. She will get snapped out of it when she realizes she will actually have to support herself and AP dumps her. Story 2: Never get into business deals with family. I learned it the hard way with a rental similar to this one. Yes he should have given notice that he sold the house, but he had good reason to sell and sounds like lease was month to month at that time. I would not have believed how entitled even a family member can get especially over time in a deal like this.

[@jas6940]

If she needed more time she could’ve gotta out honestly and I’m sure she’ll be quick to call herself an adult when she can’t make such a easy decision

[@eldeano9964]

I find it an extra level of absolute disrespect, when a cheater mocks their SO with their AP. Sharing insecurities, fears etc.

[@LunaMane]

I find that the, thankfully, ex-fiance saying OP "told too many people too quickly" about the break off of their engagement and why it happened to be very telling. You know she was going to spin it as being all his fault if she told them first.

[@leaflet1686]

Story 1: Seeing OP talk like that hurts... He did absolutely nothing wrong and now talks like a doormat... He has a 24h/7days job... Imagine he would be a firefighter or a first aid respond person thingy! They could've been in a date night and his alarm would've gone of. She would still cheat, while he saved lives!

[@FoxExcess]

The fact so many people were duped by this story is hilarious honestly.

[@leaflet1686]

@@FoxExcess I would love to answer you honestly but I have no idea what your funny words mean. Non native english speaker, yei~ XD

[@colleens1107]

Ugggh poor OP. Hope his life gets better after the cheating ex

[@FoxExcess]

I hope he learns how to write a more convincing fake story next time

[@leaflet1686]

Story 2: We got evicted so I feel this on a personal level. HOWEVER! The Brother was an ahole and did it upon himself. We simply were unlucky.

[@rohanchalke3490]

Story 1: op is a doormat, still trying to justified instead of walking out.

[@laiten35]

TO the person that replied are you a specialist or something. You broke that down too good

[@chawkichalladia1812]

in my country, marital infidelity is punishable by law and carries 2 to 5 years sentence. I think this should be implemented everywhere.

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

Hmm…Indonesian?

[@chawkichalladia1812]

@@MemristerBoogieDown nope

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

@@chawkichalladia1812 …okay, I give. That was my best guess. The only other two I can even think of are Saudi Arabia and Iran. Parts of Nigeria maybe? I’m stumped. Edit… Im going to assume not the Philippines since that law only works one way…meaning only women are charged with that one. That’s just screwed up.

[@chawkichalladia1812]

@@MemristerBoogieDown that's fucked up. damn. I'm from a Muslim country. the majority of them have a similar rule. why the guessing game tho lol

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

@@chawkichalladia1812 … mostly boredom. Trying to see if I could just guess based on the username and the comment. I could not… lol. Edit to add, I can’t play this with my countrymen. They give themselves away way too easy. You just have to say guns and put a ? after it. Lol.

[@cheskydivision]

So gf figured op would be more upset about her honesty about feeling neglected then finding out she cheated. Dude is getting totally gaslit

[@middi6]

Hey some lost deposists and a ring are a lot blody cheaper and less painfull then a 10 year long failed marraige divorce and child support for kids that may or may not be yours.

[@dwilcox7706]

Dude. If she says she would have gotten a part time job, I would have made sure she looked for a part time job.... and then broke up with her.

[@FoxExcess]

Lmao. Don't you remember the part about this guy being her co-worker? Yeah, apparently neither did OP when he wrote this fake story. Scary how many people fell for it because they can't pay attention.

[@dwilcox7706]

@@FoxExcess whatever. I just respond to them as if they're real lol.

[@jamestomlin5525]

That escalated pretty damn quick

[@chriscarr7397]

Story 1: OP shouldn't have been putting in too many hours at his job. He didn't do anything wrong. But good for him for cancelling the wedding!! I get the feeling one day, Karma will get his now ex-fiance. For instance, if by chance her new lover cheats on her, then God himself will punish her for what she did to OP. Whatever goes on with his ex-fiance, will be her problem. And OP, if your ex-fiance tries to reach out to you for any reason, don't talk to her. Go no contact!! She's not worth it!! Be indifferent towards her!!

[@dinaashford-more1172]

Story 1: CHANGE ALL THE LOCKS TO YOUR HOUSE AFTER SHE LEAVES!

[@perindne]

YES - at the very least change the locks on of your doors.

[@PastorRapture]

Story 1: OP needs to clean out the joint accounts and give the ex the boot. The ex never took responsibility for any of her actions and is gaslighting OP into accepting blame for the entire affair. The OP needs to out the affair to the coworkers too.

[@Holthyr]

In story 1, the 5,000 OP helped by paying to his fiance should go towards buying her out of the house.

[@FoxExcess]

How can he do that when no house exists and he's writing a fake story from his mom's basement?

[@Holthyr]

@@FoxExcess proof it's made up?

[@STB-jh7od]

Another man finding out he's nothing but a walking talking ATM to his GF, and she wants him to shut up!

[@FoxExcess]

More like another man writing another fake story on reddit because he's an incel trying to poison every other weak minded male against women. And look, you fell for it. "I was just working so hard so you wouldn't have to get a job"...while forgetting he wrote in the beginning that this guy was her co-worker. Pay closer attention next time. You're mad at women over a lie. And stop acting like men don't leech off their girlfriends. That sht is insanely common.

[@Lemniscated]

This guy is being abused in so many ways and is being gaslit to believe he's at fault.

[@FoxExcess]

..No buddy, he's just writing a fake story and you all fell for it.

[@SuzzyWow]

Another sad story of a man working so hard to provide he gets cheated on😢 #2 bro was going to damage the house if he got a heads up from OP

[@dandotvid]

And if that's the case, OP can sue him for the cost of the sale he missed out on because of damage.

[@WobblesandBean]

It happens to women, too. It certainly happened to me. 😞I was supporting him AND his parents, ffs! Why do people insist on biting the hand that feeds them?

[@Bleg94]

@@dandotvid and then the "but family" squad would've arrived, it is easier to just yeet him out with minimum notice

[@FoxExcess]

You mean another sad story of a man writing a fake post for reddit?

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Story 1: The only mistake OP made was not using the threat of HR to get all three dogs.

[@myroc1]

She never told OP about a whole other person in the relationship and thinks he's the one who doesn't communicate lol. Classic.

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

Story 1 cheater & a narcissist. She blamed op on lack of communication, yet she never communicated with op. She is deflecting all her problems on op. Also plz keep all three dogs if you can😢

[@FoxExcess]

It's a fake story, no need to be sad about dogs that don't exist.

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

@@FoxExcess why do you say that?

[@shebakoby]

story 1: UGH I h8 these idiots who expect their SO's to be mind-readers.

[@rolo8950]

Talking shit on your partner is basically worse than the cheating in my opinion...like the cheating is already unforgivable but then you also destroy their character, destroy their manhood or womanhood, like that shit is so fucked up and honestly, if I was in this situation, the talking shit on me would hurt me more. It would crush me. Would need serious therapy to save my life if my wife did this to me. And even then I'd probably still end it all as sad as that is. My entire life is wrapped up into my marriage so if I lost that I just don't think I'd have the energy to start again.

[@albertgongora6944]

In my opinion on the last story I think a lot of the top comments don't really read or listen to the stories correctly because here's why have they would have listened correctly but not only is the original poster not in the wrong they had every right to sell that house because I'm one of the brother ruined whatever chance has he had of having a home for his wife and kids but instead he wanted to be a stubborn jackass and hold his ground by not working as a formal protest theme that was going to get him the golden key to the house but instead he was proven wrong the very moment the house was sold and this just shows how much of a terrible selfish person the brother is and why the original poster is not and plus on top of that look look at it this way the fact that the parents were even on the side of the original poster and even told him he never should have allowed his brother to rent from him to begin with also says so much about the brother and also says how much of a stupid terrible person is I mean I'm sorry to say this was me and my wife and kids in that situation with my brother I would have done everything in my power to make sure we have a roof over their head neither I have to pay rent to my sibling or help you know remodel is home or whatever the hell the situation was

[@emo7636]

Story 2, there's a damn good reason you don't give a problem tenant a 'heads-up' before you evict them. If they've been such a pain in the ass that you've had to sell and evict, what makes you think they wouldn't trash the place and ruin appliances/walls/flooring as soon as you give them a 'heads-up'? Giving them a heads-up when they've been horrible is only giving them time to destroy your property out of revenge. It happens allllll the time, and it's a reason why most people don't rent to family memebers or known troublemakers. This lowlife wasn't paying rent on time, and he wasn't even paying the whole amount because he kept taking money off for 'improvements for the house', and he was constantly aggressive. He sounds like the epitome of a person who would trash a rental property out of anger. Some of you folks should go watch that British TV show about nightmare tenants. And once they've screwed up your property and left, there's not much you can do to recoup your losses and damages.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

S2- Heck No NTA Why give brother a heads up? That’s what the eviction notice is for! 😅😅

[@fhuber7507]

2... 100% NTA for evicting the leach. Selling the house or not... Evicting the leach was required.

[@Swnsasy]

I mean he can look at the bright side.. He found out before he lost so much more than money.. It's going to hurt but be thankful no kids and before the money was put down on the venue... I always find it weird when people say, "We don't lie to each other." NO, YOU don't lie, she may but it's a lie so you wouldn't know until you caught her in one, like this... She is a person that just cannot take accountability and that in itself is a huge problem.. Just walk away...

[@terintiaflavius3349]

They always have excuses as to why they are off on side quests. Bottom line is it's a question of integrity.

[@islandlivin808]

Story 2: that's called biting the hand that feeds you. NTA.

[@gigga143]

S1: WTF is wrong with OP? why does he keep having a bunch of convos with her on this? she cheated on him and talked crap about him, and he still keeps trying to hear her side. he really needs therapy so he can find some self esteem. there is no excuse for her cheating and lying, and he totally took her excuses and made him take the blame for her infidelity.

[@FoxExcess]

..Because it's a fake story written by a guy who's likely never even had a girlfriend.

[@someonesomewhere9115]

Honestly I’m glad they’re not selling the horse. They tend to be considered expendable more often than other pets in my experience, and lots times in these situations, the horse gets sold. I was worried that this horse would be collateral damage just because the owner did something shitty. I’m still concerned that she won’t be able to get a job that pays enough to the keep the dog and the horse, and the horse will be much more expensive to keep.

[@Paxchi]

Story 1: The Ex is such a hypocrite. She blames her affair on OP's lack of communication, yet she never communicated her feelings to him. So tge actual lack of communication is completely on her side, and thus her excuse to cheat is hollow. That she then blames him for the relationship ending just cements it was never about communication, it's just her refusal to take any accountability. Reminds me of the Narcissist's Prayer. That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.

[@leelourose2503]

NTA, the brother admitted that he had the money to pay rent but instead he decided to gaslight the situation in the hope that op would sell cheap, or give it to him, to avoid additional hassle. And everyone calling him the ahole for not warning his brother, you do not have a home with an entitled mooch living in it that could easily cause thousands in damage while in escrow. He owed his brother and his family nothing the day his deadbeat brother basically told him to GFH.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1 o.p.'s ex could teach advance classes on gaslighting

[@93castle]

A person who runs to cheat at the first sign of trouble will always behave this way. Do not reconcile.

[@kerileng3371]

Greetings from Botswana Mark 💖

[@paolagutierrez2568]

Story 2, the brother that he has enough money to purchase the house so he could find another one to buy.

[@philg3914]

The last story: That would 100% be my brother trying to take advantage of they term "brother." I could EASILY turn that one question around and ask "Why would a brother treat HIS brother(ME) that way?" and I would do what the OP did. My brother has been crappy towards me pretty much as long as I can remember. Very self-centered and hedonistic. There's no bond from me to him.

[@cpaul9269]

story 2 - ESH - should have at least told him you were selling the house - dang, dude. What were you thinking renting to family anyway?

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@rex8255]

OP is going to have to buy it the property. How is she going to pay for it? She can't even keep track of her debts, and considers it gaslighting when he showed her.

[@FoxExcess]

Don't worry, the property doesn't exist because this story is made up.

[@Cannibalsnacks]

I Discovered France! Could have sworn that was the title. .... lol misreading

[@Himitssu]

So she didn't communicate about thinking he was working to much because it would upset him, but somehow, thought the cheationg wouldn't upset him?She didn't like he didn't communicate, but refuse to communicate properly with him as well, but somehow, is only a him problem?Cheaters do gymnastics with logic, I swear 😂😂

[@FoxExcess]

More like incels writing fake stories can't keep track of their mental gymnastics and write completely contradictory things because they can't keep track of their lies. There I fixed it for you.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

the gaslighting by the cheating girlfriend is amazing, and OP is falling for it.

[@Lestaticate]

Her: Your lack of communication MADE me cheat! D:< OP: Why didn't you bring any of this up? Her: Because I thought you'd be angry! D8< B*tch, you THOUGHT?! Get a cutthroat lawyer OP.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

He needs to make sure the missing $4000 (oh wait it's $5000 if we include the $1000 she claims) is taken out of what he would owe her for her part of the house buyout too!