Found My Parents Will And Saw That I Wasn't In It At All But Sister Is In r/Relationships

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "I know you guys will be disappointed with my reaction, but I just left. I told them if they can not see me as their son I no longer see them as my parents." Nope! Not disappointed at all, I actually cheered. Good for you, OP!

[@poohbear4515]

I usually find it funny when OPs say their updates are “disappointing” when in fact like this one was satisfying to hear. Sometimes you just have to leave and let them deal with the torment they created. It’s even more fun to listen when sometimes they return begging to be let back in when that bridge has been demolished, and forever closed.

[@SailorMya]

Heck yea! They basically wanted him to beg for their love and money knowing it wouldn't truly change and he noped right out of there! good for him!!!

[@stonefox2546]

Applauding OP and his shiny, shiny spine.

[@jamestown8398]

Agree. I’m proud of OP. I wish more people reacted to parental abuse the way he did.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Walking away was the best thing especially after they asked if he could make a good case they would change their will. He already had one, they just wanted to watch OP dance while pulling his strings. Good to hear he's married, has a family and is successful. The fact he didn't let his issues prevent him from helping his nephew shows what a good man his parents missed out on.

[@tamarasmith9060]

Story 1: The parents blame OP for being distant & self-reliant as part of why they don't love him?!? Any decent parent would tell them that of course he was, because THEY FORCED HIM TO BE THAT WAY BY THEIR NEGLIGENCE. 🤬

[@nela3986]

His parents are funny in the head. And disgusting too.

[@sakipetal4382]

dumbass' couldn't put a warp on it idk why they are surprised that a child came of it and it was literally not the op's FAULT! GUUUUUG it makes me so mad when the parents blame the kids for their decisions and take it out on them.

[@foureyedelf6151]

"I'm disappointed that you're alive, so I have determined that every action or inaction by you for your entire life is also a disappointment."

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "I'm complimenting you" _has a fit and leaves the house when it's said to her_ That's how you know for a fact she wasn't "complimenting" Op, she was insulting them then gaslighting them immediately after into thinking it wasn't.

[@sugakookie7985]

She's jealous of her spouses education so trys to make him feel small to elevate herself

[@khaleesireyna731]

Agreed. I snorted when he said she's sulking at her friends house. She knows damn well that that was never a compliment or meant to be encouragement and she's a "can dish it but can't take it" type that you usually see with narcissists. I'd say OP deserves better than her.

[@Azulakayes]

Story 2: They hate each other. Why are they married?

[@tlang7616]

This is an immature, mean girl and if this is the only thing she does, they could work it out … but I don’t think so when she’s sulking somewhere else.

[@Icalasari]

@@Azulakayes Wife wants a man to control and probably ramped it up over time, making OP into a "frog in water that is brought to a boil" - At this point this is normal for him so he doesn't see the issues

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The will is bad enough but that aside, how these parents could accept all the help from this child and at the same time blame them for existing is cruel. And the fact that they responded to this by asking OP to justify why they should change their mind, Wow! The best thing OP ever did was cutting contact with them.

[@sophies9274]

agreed! also: don't blame your child for existing when it was your own mistakes that led to it ffs

[@Davtwan]

If parents won’t show love to an unplanned child, then they don’t deserve having a planned one.

[@BNezzy]

i actually started crying when OP was explaining what his parents told him during that update. I honestly don't know how people can be that cruel. I for one wouldn't have don't what OP did. I would have been arrested for assault because ppl like that are also ones who call the police for getting punched in the face when they rightfully deserve it.

[@lisakaz35]

Why is OP married to that passive aggressive shrew? He was "so close" to an actually supportive spouse.

[@carolroberts4614]

Constant criticism wears you down. Even if he had said it on purose, I wouldn't have blamed him. But I don't think he did, it seems like it just slipped out, because he heard it all the time!

[@lily-zg6io]

I mean, being extremely rigid about how to do thing, even tiny ones and really struggling to see a different way of doing it can be a pretty important symtom of neurodivergencies like autism, so it might not be necessarily meant in a passive aggressive way

[@MrJpaynebb]

Too bad because his wife was so close to getting the joke😂. Funny how her compliment is suddenly an insult when OP says it to her.

[@sophies9274]

@@lily-zg6io the wife's reaction to the term "so close" indicates she thought it was a passive aggressive statement when aimed at her though. so if this was a case of neurodivergence, that doesn't explain her downplaying op's concerns with the term and suggesting it was some sort of compliment?

[@lisakaz35]

@@lily-zg6io Maybe -- except he told her not to do it and she persisted. That is willful more than not.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - my heart goes out to OP, he never once said his parents tried to contact him to speak with him, which means they never gave him a second thought.

[@sugakookie7985]

If they find out he's wealthy they'll probably try to get him to support their scummy daughter

[@ceeshnia]

Until they fall ill or need help in old age and their daughter can't be bothered to help.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@sugakookie7985 He mentions that she's already ripped him off a few times.

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

“You were just so self-reliant we didn’t think-“ THE “SELF-RELIANT” KIDS END UP THAT WAY BECAUSE YOU AREN’T CARING FOR THEM ENOUGH So happy OP is having a better life away from them. And to literally be called an accident to your face… ugh Edit Story 3… c’mon man. It really don’t feel like he even LIKES her. Forget tolerating the outing, I don’t think he even said one positive thing about her. Just leave, or hopefully she does

[@a.a131]

Agreed

[@amandasunshine2]

Seriously, oh my god 😳 Both of the stories

[@sonialinsey8083]

Bro this is my husband’s parents. They spend all kinds of money on his shitty drug addicted brothers and shunned him because he was functional and wonder why we don’t visit.

[@Undomaranel]

Exactly. The quiet kid in the corner who doesn't make a fuss learned that's the best way to not get hurt, be it through punishment or being disappointed and feeling lonely. And often we have a sibling, loud and obnoxious and destructive, who acts that way because it earns them attention.

[@annlidslot8212]

Hi, This is me too. My mother who is 84 and a widow of 18 years, is trying to sulk me into having more contact with her. I talk to her on the phone maybe once a month and visit basically never. I can't think why I don't (please note the intended sarcasm). There are a lot of us aren't there? Yours, Ann

[@owl6637]

My parents used that "you were so self reliant" excuse on me. I was so self-reliant because of their severe neglect and now I don't talk to then anymore.

[@ineedhoez]

Wow

[@AndyyWithAY]

OMG that comment about skipping the wedding to go to a pool tournament? When he barely even plays and then they cheap out and give a garbage gift. Heartbreaking.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I can’t wait until one of them gets sick and realise sister won’t be able to look after them and start panicking. Good riddance.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

When I first got married my husband asked me not to say "calm down" because his parents used to say that to dismiss him. So, even though I don't find it to be a big deal, I have never said those words to him. It doesn't take much to not say things to someone you love when they asked you not to.

[@k3upikachu]

Yeah there are certain words/phrases that trigger me in my current relationship because of a past one that was really bad, and "calm down" is one of them lol. I've explained that to my boyfriend and he doesn't get it but respects it. Sooo now he only says it to rile me up when I'm hangry 🤣 yay for partners who listen

[@paulchaudoir190]

Story three. I have a feeling she's going to reevaluate their relationship and move on. If that happens then good news for OP. She won't agitate him anymore when she wants to do something that he doesn't want to do. Because in his book he's always right.

[@kristenhlady4079]

Story 2: just hearing the "you were sooooo close" it's like a kick to the guts. And it's not even me being told this every single day for every single thing he does. LEAVE THIS ABUSIVE WOMAN

[@owl6637]

I don't think that's abuse, I think it's the wife being an asshole.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Idk about abusive but she sounds like an absolute dud with a bad personality and he should definitely find something else lol.

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@sonialinsey8083 well if this is her only flaw he can try training her. almost all women need to be trained.

[@somedragonbastard]

​@@samiulhuda4001 one word for that: ew.

[@rhylla_864]

I cracked up at story two. He said it where it was appropriate. She's just salty bc she's been nasty all this time

[@marymasavage8986]

I know, right? She literally was soooo close since she was at the last phase of the hiring process/testing. If I were a cartoon right now, I'd have question marks floating around my head and this face 😓

[@mindyschocolate]

Yup. I mean, he’s not wrong. She WAS “so close”.

[@a.a131]

Story 2: so... She feels INSULTED by what you said BUT SHE SAYS THE SAME SHT AT YOU EVERYDAY?!?!?! 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

[@kwesisalmon2282]

Classic example of don't throw stones in glass houses 🤣

[@keyboardwarrior3702]

My younger sister always got the toys, attention, and support. And my mom would give the same excuse as OP's mom "you were so self reliant!". Neglected children have to be. When I was 16 she dragged us to watch a home video she found. It was 5 mins of my sister screaming "raiiider raaaaat!!" While mom was trying to get her to be cute. Meanwhile I was standing in the background with an ice cream cone made out of paper begging her to look. She eventually said "oh its pretty!" without even turning around. I started silently crying and walked off camera. She instantly shut it off and tried to tell me I got plenty of attention too and just made soooo many of those paper Ice creams, its not a big deal that she ignored me "once". But the memories were flooding back. I only made 2 ice cream cones and that one in the video was the last. It broke my heart knowing I would never be worth even a few seconds of her time.

[@naturebehindglass6512]

Ask for copies of all family videos... They helped me tremendously in therapy... And helped a lot to get out of the obsession with getting my mother's approval

[@zoegoodfellow1988]

Sending you a HUGE hug and hope you've found peace.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta its not about the money. Its the fact they left him nothing. Plus the fact op did so much for all of them. But they saw him as a burden.

[@yukanayame5984]

I'd wait until they croak so I can contest it rather than argue so they leave me barely anything and then I can't contest it

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

@@yukanayame5984 I think I heard somewhere in UK if you want to cut someone out you have to leave them $1 so they know it's not a mistake.

[@pippo17173]

The sister sure is the nice one right? She is so happy to wait for them to croak to get that money. They deserve it for treating the better sibling like crap.

[@amandasunshine2]

Story two, of course it just slipped out. She trained you and then realized she didn't like the monster she created 🤣

[@TriXJester]

Story 3: Prediction: She dumped his ass the next day.

[@Russman67]

This guy executed this poorly. 🤦‍♀️🤦🤦‍♂️

[@Resilient_Sage88]

I sincerely hope so. He sounds insufferable and him 'losing his cool' because she didn't want to go back to his place is a big ol' red flag.

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

@@Resilient_Sage88 Doubled, it was excruciating knowing his justification when this is the first thing she was looking forward too after the death of her grandmother.

[@justaperson4656]

Nah she dumped him THAT NIGHT. Bet. OP sucks, he's so damn self absorbed I teared up thinking of what the girlfriend was going through. He sucks.

[@kateemma22]

Fingers crossed.

[@alexandermccalla5098]

Story 3: what a useless boyfriend. Something so simple made so difficult and he has the nerve to get upset as if he wasn’t the fault in everything. Would’ve split after all that. How dare she refused when you were supposed to end the night smashing? You and already spent so much on her. Loser

[@paden1865able]

He sounds like the typical nice guy who believes he deserves a sexual reward for taking her out, even if he did literally screw everything up in every way possible.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Maybe it's just me and my friends but whenever we go to a game or concert in the city we either make plans to go early to eat in the city and pregame or hit a bar afterwards to cool down. That's part of the experience to make it a night out. OP just wasted his money and time by being so sour about going late and then jetting home asap. Girlfriend definitely deserves better.

[@ForbiddenFish]

@@MrJpaynebb - I know, it doesn't even make sense. If the guy didn't want to go to the city... why bother getting her tickets at all?

[@nikkiwhray1598]

The OP, in the last story, is so self absorbed it's sad. He bought an amazing gift because it made him feel/look good to give it. In reality, he didn't care - AT ALL - if his gf even got to experience the gift, let alone enjoy it. Her birthday was all about him. I hope she finds someone better.

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Story 2: NTA. "You were so close" is a phrase it sounds like you hear everyday. It's also one that can be said in complete sympathy, as in "Darn, you made it through all those interviews, you were so close to getting it. It's such a shame you didn't." Of course that's the kind of phrase you used in those circumstances. What you her reaction indicates is that she's been insulting and belitting you all those times. I'd recommend therapy if you want to make this relationship work, as you can't go on forever with someone who tells you everything you do is crap.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Yeah like that guy said, this confirms that when SHE says it, she means it as an insult. “You were so close” is like a common everyday phrase that normally is meant as a sincere consolation for people who just missed the mark.

[@jenniferhanses7064]

@@sonialinsey8083 Yeah. The thing I saw in his examples of her saying it to him was I was left with the question of "what mark did he miss?" It doesn't seem like he even got negative feedback on things like his work report from anyone but her. And as its her standards, it sounds like she can just say it infinitely, as if she can just keep moving the mark. His work can never be good enough to match what she wanted for the rest of eternity, and so she maintains control as ultimate judge in their relationship. The only opinion that matters is hers.

[@happysheepies7321]

The fact that the wife became upset when HE said it proves she’s not giving him a compliment. She sounds like an awful person, TBH.

[@elalogar7340]

The thing is it that was said to me in the same context that the OP's wife was saying it, my reply every time to that would be: "Oh, I'm sorry. Then you'll better do it yourself next time." And I'll refuse to do anything that I was too close to do it well.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Therapy won't help. He needs to divorce her. He has told her repeatedly that he wants her to stop saying it. She refuses. That's a character flaw that can't be fixed with couple's counseling.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

3rd Story: OP is a sad sack that apparently takes his sole joy from ruining the fun of those that are supposed to be closest to him. I can personal relate with the hopefully now ex-gf about having a really crappy concert experience and just being done with the whole night.

[@beccaf262]

I’m a bit speechless at the callousness of the parents. None of that, not a single thing they gave as a reason is the OPs fault. They treated him like crap then act surprised that he’s not close with his trash sister…

[@dustyrose192]

At least he can contest the will when they kick the bucket

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, the whole thing reminds me of some of those stories where the kid is born and the mom dies in childbirth, but the dad doesn't take care of him because he blames the kid. Um, excuse me? The kid didn't come out with a knife after stabbing mom's insides! And in this story, the OP didn't pop out of the mom demanding the dad get a second job!

[@agentzapdos4960]

S1: My mother was the 4th of 3 children. My grandparents never really loved my mother, and she ended up leaving home as a teenager with no attempts made by her family to track her down afterwards. The fact of the matter is that unplanned kids are loved less than planned ones.

[@aurea.]

Wife's reaction to "so close" should tell OP everything they need to know about her prior intentions.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S1: I hate when parents act like their kid is a burden. They didn't ask to be born. Good on OP for cutting contact. Hopefully one day the parents need to rely on someone else and all they have is the dead beat sister to lean on. S2: HAHA!

[@ddjohnson3961]

Story one:NTA glad you went no contact, Story 2:NTA she deserved a taste of her own medicine,Story 3: YTA you ruined her night.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Last story: The most vile part of this is him getting pissed off at her for not wanting to go back to his or the bar next to his place. It makes it transactual, no, even more, he expects something in return for getting her a gift (which he majorly fucked up, wasted the money he paid for the VIP ticket and then couldn't even be bothered to make the trip to the city a bit more involved as it seems they never get to go there together because of him). Anyone that thinks they can expect something for taking someone out is vile.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 2- lmao!! NTA. How OP can still be with that kind of woman?! Sucks she didn’t get the job, but now she knows how it feels.

[@zachf748]

That last story, holy hell. The fact that he couldn’t tell that he was a gigantic a-hole after typing that out is mind boggling.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yes, some of these people are not cursed with self-awareness.

[@itazuranakisu]

Which makes it all the more believable since some people are that self absorbed. Stories where the person is obviously not the AH always makes me question what information they are withholding and what they are exaggerating especially in cases where there wasn't any ab&se or neglect or self esteem issues.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Second story: OP’s response if I were them would be “you were _so close._ next time, be a better partner”

[@angelaa7388]

Can you imagine telling your child that you never wanted them nor thought of them as your child and you don't love them? Cuz I can't. Poor OP. I'm glad he has his own loving family now.

[@TonySamedi]

Man that last story got me riled up. Being someone from a big city with a lot of family from smaller towns, I feel like I personally know WAY too many people like this asshole. "Ugh, my girlfriend/wife is such a nag" when she's asking for something actually fucking important that you're too self centered to check on. Can't stand doing anything that's not in their tiny field of interest. Act like the second they're in the city there's a target on their backs and they're gonna get mugged/carjacked in the next second. Somehow I've lived my entire 30+ years in a big city and never been robbed, assaulted, carjacked or any such thing. Hell, the only time I've ever been close to being assaulted was by a racist asshole in a small town. Good lord, I hope she dumps his pathetic ass and finds someone who actually wants to make her happy. I mean, "make sure we get there on time for a massively important thing to me" is not a huge ask. Too fucking lazy to CHECK EMAIL for her is not a selling point

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: I wish so badly the parents know their “precious” daughter is just waiting for them to die so she can get everything from them. Like just knowing your child wants you dead for money must be painful with a helping dose of salt in the wound. Make them feel like shit up to their final days regretting even treating OP the same way basically.

[@swedishmeatball4382]

Oh, they know. Because they think the same way and probably also awaited the day when they could get their hands on their parents money. So, this is just the way it should be to them

[@madgevanness4011]

And and of course she’ll blow the lot in a year…..

[@littlepeeper9223]

When I heard story 2 I laughed when he said "You were so close" don't know why but stood in a queue and people looked at me strangely

[@fishbowl5308]

love how ridiculous everyone in story 2 is. he actually used tge phrase how it should be used to try and build someone back up. they didn't quite make it but were close. thanks to his wife even reddit misunderstood how he used it

[@Icalasari]

If I was OP for story 1, I'd be ready to go to the will reading and contest it. Out of spite. This is why you give a dollar to somebody - so they can't argue they were forgotten or anything

[@Gamergal_Val92]

OP in story 3 is gonna get dumped and I wouldn't blame the gf at all for that.

[@TonySamedi]

I hope so. Seriously, him complaining about her asking him 'every day' to check the email for important information is to...delete all the emails? Actually checking the email would have taken about the same amount of time. If he'd have, ya know, checked his email the first time she asked, or the second, or the 5th, she wouldn't have had to continue asking. Do not bother being in a relationship with someone who won't even check their email for you.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

@@TonySamedi Have you seen emails for these things they end up in the junk pile most likely surrounded by junk and adds why didn't she have the email if it was so important, she told him to get there by 7 you know what he did he got there by 7 did he know she wanted to be there by 6 for the VIP she didn't tell him, or did he think he was going to be stuck waiting for an hour for the music to start.

[@wmdkitty]

@@petthequeenofmaddness8592 Because HE bought the tickets. Why would she be getting HIS e-mails?

[@Rose-yt5hi]

@@wmdkitty Plus, this was supposed to be something nice he was doing for her-when I plan something for my boyfriend, I try to get all relevant information such as times and locations (y’know, like a normal person of average cognitive skill and average level of care). Like it kind of defeats the point if she has to take over the planning for her own gift.

[@TonySamedi]

@@petthequeenofmaddness8592 Your email has a search function. He could search for the band name, or the meet and greet, or the date, and easily find the specific emails about this event. Second of all, as someone who has been to concerts, meet and greets, and big event things regularly. I've literally never had a hard time finding those emails, or needing to search for them. Stop making excuses for lazy assholes.

[@dawndoe11]

I can't wrap my head around that "self reliant" comment from OP's AH parents in story 1. I wonder why the child whose parents were distant grew up to be independent, they only have themselves to blame for the gap in the relationship. I'm glad OP got out of there.

[@candacescott2259]

The first guy, I'm just proud that he could remember his password all this time later! His parents are neglectful assholes, but fortunately, his kids will have better.

[@LayfonDragnia]

Genuinely, screw the parents. They forced him to be self sufficient and have the audacity to say that him being independent is what made them distant. They have no right to call themselves parents or even humans. I’m fricken fuming and disgusted right now!

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 2: the fact she reacted so badly makes it seem that she was insulting him while he was just being consoling. Story 3: op is an asshole. He doesn’t want a gf he wants a doll that echoes endless praise to him and does everything he wants.

[@gustavedore1073]

That last guy really tought that just throwing money around is all that any woman could want,. And he even made her miss half of the gift, just because he wasn't bothered to read one email. You would think that in this day and age people would understans that your companion don't want to do their favorite things with you, if you just drag your feet the whole time. That is not quality time together, that is "You should be thankfull that I do bare minimum".

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 1:* It's extremely difficult, but I always recommend cutting off parents like this. As OP said, if they don't see you as their child, dont treat them like your parents. There is nothing you can do to make them love you. I genuinely think part of the reason I am a disabled adult today (chronic fatigue) is because I spent years neglecting my health to meet the ever-rising standards of the parents who never lived me. I'm *confident* they did not have to change the contents of their will when I cut them out of my life. The first thing they did when I moved out was empty out my bank account and I had to blackmail them in order to have the money I made from my job returned to me, but none of my college savings or money gifted to me by family. They aren't worth the energy. Get out as soon as you can.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

The "you were so close" wife does that to assuage her own insecurity complex. If she cuts down someone else, her ego gets a power boost in that moment.

[@cecils.4570]

Story 1: my heart goes out to OP. I'm the oldest of 4 and the only girl. I grew up hearing my mom say she wishes she could have been a mother to all boys only! To be honest I don't know which is worse growing up hearing shit like this or like OP thinking all is good and well.

[@matthewuzulis5016]

S1: I'm glad OP has been able to move on with their life, what disgusting parents he had. It is good to hear they are close with their nephew even after breaking contact with just about all of their family. S2: She was so close to actually proving the saying was not mocking, I truly believe OP just saying it with no initial ill regard until she made a issue of it. OP heard it from her enough for it to take root. NTA and even if it was intentional I would only say it's minor at worst. S3: What a completely shit BF, honestly it feels like he is just one step away to pull a Homer Simpson when he bought her a bowling ball with the holes cut for him. You buy something for her but make it all about yourself, only difference is you don't like it ether... YTA with no redemption. Hope she finds better but I don't think it will be hard.

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 2 - OP repeated her words, if he's a Jerk and she left the house, she needs to reflect on how saying that constantly to OP affects him. They need couples therapy.

[@kristenhlady4079]

Story 3: YTA. you honestly sound like an abusive boyfriend. You called her annoying when she had to keep asking you about the information about the event and concert which you never told her. I know a lot more happened that you haven't mentioned/noticed here. She was over the moon to meet her favorite band and you shat all over it because she was asking about the time for the event. Have you ruined other opportunities for her? Because it wouldn't surprise me.

[@TonySamedi]

I don't want to read more into the story than is there, because what's there is bad enough. I will say however that the guys I've known who I can picture doing this, were all verified to be some kind of abusive as well. Either emotional implied threats of violence, or actual physical violence. Even without that stuff. If someone won't even check their email for you, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.

[@precious_toebeans]

That last op was so gross - it sounds also like he was mad that she didn't put out after.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: if I went with someone for a concert I bought them tickets for, you’d know I would see every single email and get up to date on the meet and greet. Even if I didn’t like the band, whoever I took to the concert is worth my time for it! Also, that’s a waste of money if we missed it This guy doesn’t care about her nor his own money cause he couldn’t even check the emails before deleting them. Tf is wrong with you dude?? Do you even like her at this point!?

[@jessicamorgan3568]

But but, I thought "so close" was a compliment?!? 😂😂😂

[@Lisapizzza]

I can't believe the dude in the last story actually thought it would be totally okay that they missed the meet and greet

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - Also not disappointed that OP just walked out when the egg and sperm donor asked for justification to acknowledge him in the will. 'Dance monkey, dance' is the phrase that came to my mind. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on. OP went on to live their best life, be successful AND contribute to nephew's education so that he doesn't have to justify his existence to anyone. Good for OP and wish them all the continued best!

[@ellorasg4525]

Last story made me want to face palm so hard!!!

[@DudeEM]

“You’re so close,” was the line that the wife used to actually mean, “I like getting into your head by making sure you understand that you never do anything better than how I do things, even your own job.” That said, the wife’s situation was the one where the line, “you were so close,” could have been used harmlessly but since the wife was the devil of the you-were-so-close realm, using the line on her was like pouring gasoline onto her hellfire.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: the fact he heard that so much from his wife that this was what came to his mind first is heartbreaking. I would be out of the relationship the second time she did this despite me telling her to stop since I find it condescending. She thinks it as a compliment until it happens to her, so which is telling she truly doesn’t care for OP’s feelings at all and they should go to couple’s counseling or divorce. Divorce more likely the solution as treating everything a spouse does is wrong in a condescending way and gaslighting them into believing it’s a “complement” is not a good partner to have. Especially if it happens so much it becomes “the norm”. Get out of the relationship OP she doesn’t deserve you

[@queencars802]

As someone with a golden child sibling which is pretty much the same I'd just ignore it. My parents have finally learned the error of their ways now that hes over 30 still running to them for help. I backed off when it got bad and now they're finally seeing how it really is and cutting him out. It's their money and not mine, yeah its hurtful to not be included but it's their decision

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Queen Cars they don't deserve you

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Queen Cars I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to, my social media is in my bio

[@Russman67]

Story 3: He ruined the night out. She tolerated him. If she hasn't beaten him to the punch, I hope he does the woman a favor and break up already.

[@michaelwest2388]

I truly feel for op of story 1. I know excatly how he feels. My dad raised me spouting I was probably not even his kid. My sister relished this info and tried to torment me with it (didn't work as I only had eyes for the magic nimber 18). They did manage to limit my future options. Come to find out long after I went NC it wasn't my parentage in question but my sister's. As evident by op's and my expierence the best course is to just let the trash remove itself

[@JeremyBolanos]

S3: Here's a gift I know you will really enjoy, now let me ruin it because you don't matter to me.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

S2: OP needs to tell his wife that he was "so close" to staying married to her but divorce was the right way to go

[@lalvarez5151]

NTA- no one is owed any Inheritance, but dang, to not even leave $1 and give an AH sister Everything while he helps out and does everything while all she does it take is a really big AH move. Also they are disappointed in HIM? While the sister is a literal Leech?

[@terryfox1575]

I really hate it when a person thinks that if you don't have a degree from University you're useless.

[@astronautviolet153]

story: 1 Op Would have been emotionally better off living with his aunt. Happy he cut out those toxic people out of his life and having people that truly do care about him in it.

[@josspa6558]

Story 3: how op thinks people who live in city get home from work, goes out with their dogs, go store? If going out at night is way too dangerous and that should be good enough rest to not be/go out at night?

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 2- NTA. All this time she said "you where so close" to be an AH, proven by how mad she was when you said it. If I was you I would say "why are you getting mad at me? You tell me that almost everyday is it suppose to be an insult?"

[@spanky814]

That last one reminds me of the time I spent $700 getting tickets for my mom, dad, me, and sister to go to a Paul McCartney concert as a birthday present for my dad. My mom, in typical narcissist fashion, flipped out at a couple in front of us who were being assholes but she went way overboard screeching and almost got her and my dad kicked out and generally was being an irritant throughout the concert, totally ruining it for everyone but her. Then she acted like we were mad at her because we were being "chicken shit" when she nearly got us kicked out. Plus it was the first big stadium concert I'd ever been to, but now my memory of it is totally ruined because the only things I can remember is one song he sang and the rest is trying to control her and keep her from upsetting people around us, anxiously watching the drunk pricks in front of us in case they set my mom off again, etc. But she has never apologized and felt fully justified in her actions.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: What a couple of POSes. Their reasons for not loving their son are *their* reasons. He was and is totally innocent. Good for him, just walking away. It doesn't matter how much the parents will end up being worth (and housing prices are fickle. They could crash). The sister will just blow through it all as soon as they're gone. He's well-rid, except of the nephew, who sounds lovely.

[@sophiescott143]

Story 2: OP keeps getting condescended toward, and told it's a compliment, and then when he does the same thing suddenly it's an attack? No ma'am. If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander. Period. Can't take it, don't fucking dish it.

[@Kai-uj5go]

The last guy really needs to get into therapy if this "nice guy" wants any chance of being in a lasting and healthy relationship with anyone

[@SteviiLove]

It's not just money you miss out on when you're disinherited, it's everything; photos, grandma's keepsakes, etc. OP gets absolutely nothing because EVERYTHING, the house and all possessions, are going to his sister because apparently she needs everything, including the photos, more. That is why it hurts so much, not only were you self reliant because you didn't have the option to not be, but now you get punished even further because of your parents negligence and that is what this is.

[@donnamichelerichey2878]

I would have feigned surprise at the wife's reaction and then said, but you said it was a compliment!

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 2: I'm super petty, but my response would be to text the wife saying I'll be needing a three paragraph essay on this issue. First paragraph must detail what she took as offensive/how it offended her. As well as how it made her feel when it was said. Second Paragraph must detail what could've been said instead to not sound offensive or rude/hurtful. Third and final paragraph must detail why these same rules and judgments on what I said once, don't apply to what she's said countless times.

[@LillyianPuppy]

There's no such thing as a self-reliant infant, only infants who learn their parents will not help them.

[@dwightehowell8179]

His parents didn't give a rat fart about him so he focused his life on the people that did and made a go of it. That's about as good as life in the real world gets sometimes.

[@starlingswallow]

I have also had to reassess my relationship with the parents and even how I saw them: perfect and on a pedestal, me waiting in the wings for them to compliment me, support & encourage me, love me in a way where I actually FEEL it 😢 I've had to distance myself, even moved a few states away. It's hard, family stuff!!

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 1: Parents are probably the AHs. But I would be interested to hear their reasoning. Edit: No one’s disappointed in him walking away. That was the best decision he could have made. Story 2: God she’s condescending. How would you put up with that every day. And if she says he’s condescending for doing the exact same thing as her, that just means that she knows that she’s condescending Story 3: “You don’t go out in the city. There’s crime all over the place”. Paranoid much. I get cities can be scary. But it’s not like you’re gonna die simply from being in it. “She asked if we had to go early. I assured her I would check. I didn’t. Instead, I deleted the emails.” You suck.

[@joeschmo622]

"Soooo close": I would've doubled down: "What?? That was a *compliment,* y'know?". Will: I would've gone NC and told all of them they all deserve each other. Wait 'til one of the parents is terminal and "needs help" and comes knocking at his door. F it, I wouldn't give 'em the time of day.

[@garthrogers2269]

2nd story. NTA. OP gave his toxic wife a taste of her own "compliment" and she couldn't handle it.

[@jamestown8398]

STORY #1 I see inheritance as a gift from the deceased, not something the heirs are entitled to. But to me it sounds like OP knows this, and that his anger stems mainly from the favoritism his parents showed to his sister her their whole lives. OP should talk to them calmly to find out the reason for the favoritism. UPDATE This family is evil. If the parents couldn’t bring themselves to love OP they should have given him up for adoption so he could be raised by someone who did. I’m not disappointed in OP’s response, I’m proud of it! He did well. I hope he keeps his word. UPDATE 2 I’m glad OP has a happy life now, and that his ex-sister is a loser with no hope for life. I’m especially glad OP is no-contact with his ex-parents, and that they never met OP’s kids.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Imagine being a grown ass man who resents his younger child because they had the audacity to be born (his choices made that happen, mind you) and MAKE him miss out on his other child's childhood. How the heck do grown ass adults like this function??? Like seriously, you don't sound deep or traumatized, or wise, you sound pathetic because you take your insecurities out on your child.... get some therapy or something, smh.

[@HonorWillow]

I’m so glad with how they reacted! I mean expressing anger and screaming at them would have been perfectly fine and valid but their reaction with leaving was the best response

[@AndyyWithAY]

How is telling someone that they are so close constantly encouragement and compliments. Wife is crazy. She's already the type of person I absolutely cannot stand, but she constantly dishes it, but cannot take it. NTA

[@phildicks4721]

Story One...OP should tell his parents that since they love the older daughter so much, go rely on her if they have any problems, and expect no help from the OP. Then go NC.

[@Nylak-Otter]

Story 1: Inheritance is a b*tch sometimes. My mother recently died of covid, and she didn't even have a will. She was single, so there was no clear easy way to go about it. My sister had also recently died of breast cancer. The estate ended up getting *completely* sold off, including everything I had in the house that was mine, because it was considered legally hers since it was on her property. They even rehomed her two dogs, which I had adopted and trained for her years ago, without telling me. Then they divided the resulting money (my stuff sold for MUCH less than it was worth, and all my personal stuff was thrown out and my clothes, old furniture and tech were donated) amongst her extended family. People, please write your wills and keep them updated.

[@thelovelycreative]

I'm so sorry for your loss! But you are her child and they just took your things? I thought possessions fall immediately to descendants and if there are none then its given to other family.

[@Nylak-Otter]

@@thelovelycreative My aunt got her claws into the estate before I was able to, because it was literally the last thing I was thinking about. She placed herself in charge of it legally, since it needed to be managed by a family member who wouldn't be a beneficiary. She hired an estate manager that just followed her instructions and dissolved the estate, and EVERYTHING that was in it. I had to pay exorbitant prices to the estate in order to get anything out of it (I paid to get my old pro art portfolio back and some of my mom's and my jewelry, but couldn't afford anything else). My late sister's son and I got most of the money from the estate auction, but a lot went to pay for taxes, the cost of the estate manager, legal fees, and any of her debts. All of her machinery and vehicles went to her mother and the rest of her siblings, as well as about a third of the money. It was in Illinois if that makes a difference. They have laws in place so that most of the income generated from inheritance distribution with no clear, legal beneficiaries goes back to the state in the form of heavy taxation. It was completely bizarre. By the time I even started paying attention to what was happening, even my personal financial advisor was baffled.

[@boblorch6212]

OP needs to get his plastic measuring cups in a prominent spot and tell EVERYONE that it’s a wedding present from the parents.

[@JC-sg1ns]

Wife in story 2 practically trained OP to have a Pavlovian response to the phrase, it was inevitable really

[@diarradunlap9337]

For OP #1: CONGRATS for purging your bio family from your life! They're all absolutely, radioactively poisonous excuses for human beings, and I expect that one day soon, it will all collapse on them. By just leaving and not trying to change their minds, you demonstrated that you are better, greater, and stronger than the lot of them combined.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Story 1: if the parents never considered OP family 🤯, then why didn’t they just give him up for adoption so he could have had someone who loved and wanted him? Instead, they ignore him his whole childhood, but of course, couldn’t help but use any money “HE” saved to help their little princess get out of debt, thus making it so he had to struggle to get through college! 🤬😡

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Story 1 is so common: it also happens when people are still children. The one that is more put together is neglected because they're seen as independent while the other one is a fuck up and demands all of the attention. I think maybe anger isn't the emotion that he's feeling but probably disappointment or betrayal. After hearing the update they just fucking suck, Jesus Christ. I would just cut those bozos out of my life. They sound so petty and entitled. I actually hate them now lol

[@reptiles3244]

Story 1 nta it's fine to wonder why they did it and everything and be upset. I had a similar situation with my grandparents since I was around 7 every single year I'd go wood cutting right before winter with my grandfather to help him get wood so they wouldn't be cold, I'd also go over every single day and split the wood for them with an axe. Besides that I also did random things like helping them fix sinks and floors and doing random repairs and as I got older I helped more and more like doing yard work for them and fixing their house where it was falling apart because they were getting to weak and all that. Their children only ever started coming around to help them when they got sick and I was left nothing I didn't really hold it against them or anything but it did hurt

[@reptiles3244]

And yes I said their children because my aunt's and uncles and father have been terrible to me my entire life

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

@@reptiles3244 I am here for you the very least you deserve is a afriend. My Instagram is in my channel linked

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

I’d put them on blast 💥 But understand you don’t need any more negative energy from those people

[@reptiles3244]

@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 thank you but I'm fine married awesome wife and moving into my own house soon life's great at this point I'm past all the drama already

[@reptiles3244]

@@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh eh I rarely think of them anymore

[@iwantsifegold]

Silence is golden, and what you don’t say speaks volumes by walking away, and not saying a word you let them know that the trash took itself out, and that they are so worthless that they’re not even worth your anger. That’s what they mean when they say silence is Golden.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

It’s crazy how many parents, when confronted with their failures as such, will just explain why they’re bad parents like that’s the thing to do.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: NTA. The excuses the parents gave were BS. OP needs to go LC. Since the parents are so judgemental regarding OP's life and leaving everything to Sister, let Sister do the sh*t OP has been doing.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: I would 100% stick around and when my parents died, I'd sue for the inheritance. Legally in most places you can't give all the money to one person and completely leave the other out. So I would Sue and take Sister's share, though I'd skip getting the children's share if at all possible. Story 2: NTA, the wife ingrained that message into OP and *_INSISTED_* that it was a compliment. But when he uses it in the (seemingly) intended manner she gets mad. Na-uh, you can't get made at him using the message exactly as you claim it to be then double back on the claim and say it's offensive. Story 3: YTA and I don't see OP keeping this relationship with her, because that's not how you treat a partner. EVER.

[@benry007]

Story 1: I think I would let every member of my family and most of my parents friends know exactly what kind of people they were. Then when they died I would contest the will.

[@lsmmoore1]

Story 3: The minute I heard, "You don't go out in the city. There is crime all over the place" I knew the BF was full of BS. I live in a city. There isn't a whole lot of per capita crime there. If there is something like a serial rapist or killer, they'd have to be working overtime committing several crimes a day if they wanted to target the same percentage of the population criminals in a small town might. I'm betting the most common crimes you see in a city are folks selling fake or outright illegal merchandise. That's not going to bite you if you don't buy the stuff (and sometimes won't even then). And that's also something criminals can do out in the open with less risk of getting busted - whereas if they try to do serial attacking or pickpocketing in a crowd, they're more likely to be spotted by someone, even if it isn't the person being attacked or robbed. And again, it's a lot harder to go after thousands of people and evoke the same level of terror you can preying on a town, so that weeds out a lot of the more halfhearted potential villains. So no, cities aren't going to be dens of crime. Certainly not the kind of crime the full of BS BF needs to worry about.

[@niamhnir]

I was an accident baby, my mum didn’t want 2 kids in 14 months but it happened. It was always a joke but that’s where it finished.

[@asskicker4000]

How can they say they never viewed him as family and why were you so distant in the same conversation without putting it together? Some people are maliciously stupid