Told Step-Brother To Sign Over His Parental Rights If He Wants Me To Take In Niece r/Relationships

[@sophiescott143]

Final update: "Is it okay that we like her calling us mom and dad, and should we correct her?" You're the parents she has. She clearly views you as her parents. You're doing the job of her parents. You are her parents, and she is your kid. If she's happy to call you by those titles, and you're happy to be called by those titles, blood doesn't matter.

[@battlesister1559]

I feel like both OP and her fiancee should tell her the truth as soon as she is able to process this information. Not telling something big as this is a recipe for future drama, she deserves to know the truth but she also knows who took care of and raised her in the long run.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

They have her in therapy so I daught it's going to be some big secret.

[@EphemeraImaging]

@@battlesister1559 She does know who her bio parents are, they have never hidden that from her. Grandparents took over at two, then became unable to continue, then OP took her. OP has never hidden who her parents are. The child has made the decision as to who her parents should be, and that's wonderful!

[@samoanjoseph1457]

So the kid ALREADY doesn't see her parents as her parents, and they actually accused OP of trying to steal her? You can't steal what was given away.

[@sleepyearth]

Apparently OP's parents has been raising the kid instead

[@mflax4331]

The biological sperm and egg donors are their parents. But that does not make you mom or dad. The way you care for somebody makes you a mom and dad. Emotionally she has some new better parents that are not biologically their parents. For me adopted kids would be mine as well. The attitude makes you parents. Biologically being related might not be worth a dime.

[@elizabethescalante8114]

​@@mflax4331 Exactly! Any asshole and skank can boink, pop out a kid and call themselves "parents", but it takes a REAL mom and dad and raising that innocent child with the love, care, knowledge, responsibility, understanding AND work it takes to actually BE true parents!

[@glitchyglitchy3925]

What a story. I'm glad they sound like they're all living their best lives. When N's "parents" said they preferred her to be lost in the foster system than give up parental rights, that said everything.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

I have a cousin who has lost custody of 6 children throughout her life. The first 4 times, family stepped in. She accused those family members of "stealing" her kids, because they each eventually pushed for adoption. The truth is, keeping my cousin in the kids' lives was painful and confusing, and she would attempt to use the kids as pawns for money, and generally terrorize the guardians. The last 2 times she gave birth, she went let the system take the kids for the same reason given by the couple in the story. To her shock, it is far more difficult for her to get access to a child in state care, being raised by complete strangers. Those kids will ultimately be adopted, too, but she'll never see them again.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

And when the girl is happier they begin to lose interest??? WTF??!?

[@pickle_pup8187]

OP should contact the social worker and offer to take the daughter. The court could potentially terminate the parents rights due to the lengthy prison sentences.

[@Germania72]

@@DrawciaGleam02 I know. They're monsters!

[@ninaross211]

GO 2 COURT ,

[@AndyyWithAY]

Signing over parental rights is the best thing. They will be in jail until at least until she's a teenager. She will be a completely different person. The parents are complete garbage. First they get sent away for nearly a decade minimum then, they'd rather her go to foster care instead of signing over rights. Completely horrible. OP needs to make all legal and medical decisions for the foreseeable future.

[@darkmask5933]

Worse than that, OP said they got thr max sentence, 15 years. The daughter will be 19-20, by the time her bio parents are out of jail.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Becoming permanent guardians would be the best thing. Wait until she’s an adult and can consent to the adoption for herself

[@doggolovescheese1310]

Yep selfish POS

[@geraldgrenier8132]

@@stirlingarcher7972 agree. Perment guardian gives OP enough protection in providing the niece a stable home. While minimize both the family infighting as well as expense of having to force it though the courts. With the parents in prison they will not be able to true with guardian ship until long after nieces to understand what's going on and wishes will be a paramount factor anyway.

[@Raaslen]

Nila knew exactly what she was doing when she called OP and her fiance "mom and dad", and if half of the post is the truth they sure earned it.

[@ttrev007]

the grandmother should have payed for Nia's trip if she was the one inviting her.

[@bun04y]

The only reason that Nia was invited on the trip was clearly for OP to pay for it. Luckily OP was able to find out the real cost of the trip so she knew the grandmother was trying to screw her. I would bet that the "trip" wasn't really to Disney...probably not happening at all. Just a way for them to get some money out of OP.

[@Creshosk]

@@bun04y Yeah, it's pretty clear that the grandma was trying to pull a fast one. "They're not letting us take Nia, so now we have to delay the trip so we can figure out how to pay for it!" So they can't afford the trip with one less child? That's funny, usually less people going means prices would be lower, not higher. So no surprises the jailbirds had to have learned it from somewhere.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 they are trying to scam OP. They wanted OP to pay 3x the cost of this. There was no reason given for why OP had to pay them directly. This was a scam. OP did right.

[@bunnyslippers191]

It's obvious especially since as soon as OP refused to hand over the money to the aunt suddenly they don't have the money to go without Nia going. That clearly shows that $1200 was going to cover someone besides Nia, probably two of their kids as well as Nia since the price for a child was $500. The entire family on the mother's side are dishonest. It's no wonder the mother is in prison. I'd like to know just how many others in that family are doing or have done prison time. I bet she's not the only one.

[@fancyme.alter1311]

@@bunnyslippers191 I was thinking the very same thing.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "They're all telling me that I am wrong for using their addiction to strip them of their child" they're going to JAIL. By the time they're out, she'll be a teenager or _adult_ and I'd be surprised if she wanted anything to do with them after they couldn't do the _bare minimum_ and get clean so they can care for her, and instead chose to do something that landed them in _jail_ and fought and slandered the names of the people who actually loved her enough to be willing take her in and care for her. Maybe if they weren't fucking idiots then they wouldn't have had their kid taken away.

[@Some_Idiot_on_the_Internet]

I had written out a whole mini essay on the nature of addiction and it's relationship with the prison industrial complex and the US health care system but that'd be exhausting for us both so I'll just offer some personally actionable advice; brow beating junkies is worse than pointless. You're not wrong about the material aspects of the situation, they CANNOT be parents to Nia, but they are addicts in the USA, their odds are fucking terrible.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@Some_Idiot_on_the_Internet They're *addicts,* period. That gives them pretty slim odds regardless of the country. But, yeah, the prison system here needs a *complete* overhaul and healthcare is *highly* variable. My guess is that OP's friends are upper middle class who may talk about advocacy and tolerance online but never actually had to *deal with* certain parts of reality.

[@beegee1960]

They are junkies, and that is indeed a health care issue, but that is not what put them in jail. They committed a crime and THAT is what landed them in jail.

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

The bio-parents stripped themselves of their rights! Aside from the hurt of losing her grandmother, it sounds like this sweetling's life is turning around in the very best of ways. *still sniffling* Mark does such a wonderful job of bringing stories like this to life! 💝

[@TheLodjur]

@Owl "Maybe if they weren't fucking idiots then they wouldn't have had their kid taken away." WORDS! Amen, 100% agree. Actions comes with consequenses and finally this little girl doesn't have to pay such a hefty price for THEIR choices anymore. You need to do _a lot_ of wrong before the child's rights kick in, so no, no one is taking their kid, they gave her up when they decided to violate the law, likely for the hundredth time.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Nia's shitbird parents are pulling away from her during her brief visits with them and she can feel it. OP and her fiance have provided with both stability and an increased quality of life for the first time in her life. Nia calling OP Mommy is her wishing OP was her mother and I'd encourage OP to allow her to call OP and her fiance whatever terminology she chooses. For the first time this child goes to bed at night knowing that the rug isn't about to be yanked out from under her! OP is an amazing person for taking in a kid she had met less than a handful of times and that shares no biological connection to and her fiance is an MVP for fostering a fatherly role seemingly without an ounce of hesitation!

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

The fact that the little girl was more distressed to leaver her grandmother and grandfather then her parents being in jails is a stronger argument then anything anyone can say!

[@Sunari]

The sheer happiness OP and her fiance have at being called dad n' mum is so sweet and I'm so glad they're the ones who ended up with Nia QwQ

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Giggling at the brute honesty about OP's cooking, followed by the slight sarcasm from OP, lol

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1: for a good chunk of it (up until part of the update) all I could think was the fact that the kid will have spent 2/3 of their life away from their parents and there'd have been a good chance they'd not want to go back with them after they're out of jail, then the update came out with the fact the parents have been pawning the kid off on others since she was 2! 2!!! She's literally already spent more time away from the parents than with them, I honestly can't see the poor kid wanting anything to do with the "parents" since they were barely involved in the kids life and probably has limited memories of them as is.

[@alma5147]

When she called OP and her boyfriend mum and dad my heart skipped a beat. It's so wholesome and really wish that family the very best

[@baskervillebee6097]

Boyfriend is right. It would destroy the child to have a good life and then be sent to live with ex adict ex cons. Do whatever makes her life better. Parents are who raise the child to be feel loved and safe, not necessarily blood relations.

[@cattyanamontes5996]

What a great story. Boyfriend also sounds like a great man. Not many would be on board for that- esp if you had planned on being child free. Nothing wrong with her calling them mommy and daddy- it’s what they are.

[@ineedhoez]

Maybe I am jaded.... i am looking at him side 👀

[@AndyyWithAY]

Sounds like OP, BF, and Nia are all doing great. I'm happy for them all. They deserve it.

[@caridadchang7895]

In terms of the bio parents, it might that the fact their daughter is so happy without them is making them feel sad/bitter since they are not responsible for her happiness, and never have been from what op tells us I hope that they continue to be a happy family, thankfully, for once, everything came together for her to have a better life than what it could have been

[@yamairad1]

She's such a good person. She is constantly thinking about others despite it being obvious that they doubt deserve it.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

I think this is a negative op is to nice. She should not be thinking about the terrible bio parents they do not deserve any consideration. She should not jeopardise her own her partner or her child's best life for POS in any way.

[@DarkAngel65989]

OP is an amazing person and have done right by that child. The only people that care about the child is OP, bf turn faince/husband, the dad and stepmom and that it.

[@ljh5141]

Your niece is feeling secure and so loved. Kudos to both you and BF for making room in your hearts and home to offer the sanctuary, love, patience, Nobi and kindness to a little girl that has already experienced more with the bio parents, that any child should have to. Fate seems to have determined that as well, by having the pieces fall into place, to keep those who love this beautiful little girl, in close proximity to her. Wishing your little family, all of the love possible.

[@jbgra2566]

Last part had me tearing up. Both so happy that the little girl called them "mommy and daddy". Hope the can embrace it and enjoy. Nia loves both of you

[@stan8479]

OP sounds like a great parent, I hope this family grows strong and healthy.

[@rogrove6325]

_I_ Ugly Cried in happiness when she called them Mommy and Daddy AAAA. And the BF murmuring _Dad_ under his breath with pure bliss. I'm emotional today but this just got to me. I'm happy for them and their little family. And I know she's worried and wants to take ALL of the right steps with their little girl, but the girl's bio-parents have seemed to completely withdrawn from her and OP and her BF are working on full adoption. They are, certainly, mom and dad at this point and deserve to let themselves be called as such.

[@duketha5286]

If they cannot go because you won't pay for your own child that means that they could not afford the trip in the first place and we're expecting you to pay for other people

[@bribri2925]

She said they wanted to move to Florida because of the promotion and because she likes the nice weather. I hope they’re doing okay…Florida just had a hurricane

[@charlotteemerson5050]

Last post, I think if they were to correct niece when she calls them mom/dad that niece could very well feel she was being pushed away. Not something you would want under any circumstances but considering what she has already been put through, that would be one of the worst impressions to have her feel. Parents aren't particularly interested in her best interests so I say consider it one of the best things that could happen.

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

I agree. As a child of adoption I know how painful it is to hear that my parents/ siblings aren't my "real" family. I also have plenty of step and foster family members, so saw their lives play out and each one showed how damaging it is to tell a child not to call the acting parent by a parental title when they choose to or demanding that a child call a step/foster parent by a parental title when the child isn't comfortable with it. The niece chose to call them Mom and Dad so the best thing they can do for her is accept the titles just as they have accepted her...with open arms and open hearts.

[@wimsylogic65]

OP from my experience as being a kid similar to your niece, You are making the best decisions for her. I'm gonna share my experience and how it felt and what it meant to me and and your story reminds me of it. For some reason growing up I never felt like a child and I had trouble connecting with other children. For some reason everyone mostly adults just confided in me like I was a therapist. And I just sit there and quietly listen. The information I'm about to give, Was told to me by several different adults adults while I was a child younger than 10. And some of it is things I've witnessed myself. I know this information because people aren't talking about have told me about it themselves. Or I've witnessed them do things. It's a quiet child, People often forget I'm there. Both my parents were severe alcoholics, And they did drugs such as cocaine, Possibly others, I've heard them talk of lsd, And other drugs. As far as I know my mom only drank alcohol and did cocaine. Both of them heavily smoked cigarettes. My dad was a bouncer at a bar my mom frequented. They were dating for a month when my mom was pregnant with me. My mom was afraid of going to sleep because she was afraid of not waking up. So she continued to do cocaine while pregnant with me because it kept her awake longer. My mother weighed around a 100 pounds at her full pregnancy with me. I was born around 3 weeks early around around under 6 pounds. We lived at my grandparents until I was 2. When I was still a tiny baby in my crib end up being left home alone all day into the night. My parents left without talking to my grandparents. Am I grandparents assumed that I went with my parents. Nobody came back home till that night. I think I was small enough not to sit up and crawl yet. Because I used to climb out of my crib. They tell the story like I was still in the crib when they got back home. My crib was at the top of stairs on a second story farmhouse. Before I was 10, My dad told me That my mom had had abortions before, And that she wanted to abort me. But that he wanted to keep me. I was also told that when I was born my mom wanted my aunt to adopt me. She told me that yes she's had Abortions. Both of them told me that I have an older sister my mom put up for adoption. Years before me. My mom told me that my dad forced her to have me because he thought I was going to be a boy and a named sake. But I was a girl. I don't really have much memories of comfort with my parents. Very few memories of warmth. I believed I shouldn't exist. That my existence was ruining my parents lives and made them unhappy. But then I have these magical moments. They'd feel magicals completely different than being at home. Every once while I used to go stay with my aunt and her husband. Felt warm and fuzzy, It was like a honey glow to everything. Their house was clean, Warm and Sunny. They were quiet. They didn't yell at me. They looked at me they heard me. They gave me nice Warm baths, The towels were so fluffy, And soft. It wasn't cold when I got out of the bath tub. The used magic potion on my hair that took away the knots. They used a blow dryer and made my hair all soft And warm. It was surprisingly and why it felt like it was magic, They brushed my hair and it didn't hurt. I didn't think that was possible. It truly felt like magic to me. I had a very long fine hair. And when are if my hair did get brushed, They weren't gentle about it and just yeng to the knots out. Brushing my hair would leave my head feeling raw and throbbing, And I wasn't allowed to cry. So being taken care of my Uncle like that was that was such a shock. They read me bedtime stories and tucked me in. It's one of my best memories. That's I learned that they were the ones who wanted to adopt me. My parents kept custody of me though. But those times I spent with my aunt Uncle, always feel specially in my heart. I love my parents. I forgive them, And I appreciate the life that gave me and everything that they could do for me. But I also think that it would have been better for me if my aunt, Uncle raised me. I hope this helps OP if you ever see this message or anyone else in their position.

[@ttrev007]

I couldn't do it. raising a kid like your own then turning them over to two addicts. I would have to take the same stance too.

[@whims6278]

I am sobbing at this story. OP and her bf are amazing humans

[@doggolovescheese1310]

I'm an addict and I had horrible parents...OP is 100% in the right to ask for parental rights signed over

[@OZARKMOON1960]

So glad the social worker and therapist agreed that the move out of state was a good thing. OP never did say how Nia's parents reacted to it, but we know they were probably not happy. Sounds as if OP and her BF have a good solid plan; he gets promotion, she still works (from home), they have paid-off house (courtesy of his folks) and most of family is close by - at least OP's family and her BF's. No harm in Nia calling them mom and dad. She knows who loves her and is there every day, and they will be for a decade or more. That is a parent, related or not. Sure hope they go for full adoption because that little girl deserves stability.

[@MistressSuki92]

The second her bio parents said they'd rather N be in foster care (a notoriously BAD place for children to end up for so SO many reasons) I knew they were garbage. Like the number of children who leave foster care saying they were horrifically abused is unbelievably high. Nevermind the number of children who DON'T get to leave the system because they die before they reach 18...

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 1- NTA. My spouse is a former addict and I told him if he ever goes back to doing drugs I will take his children and he will not be seeing them until he is clean, sober, and safe. These parents are being sent to jail due to the addiction for around a decade. That child deserves to have parents that love her and put her first and have a childhood she doesn’t need to recover from. The grandparents are not an option long term because of their age and health and the “parents” of the kid are being selfish. The best thing for that child is to adopt her out to the family that is stable because even after the parents get released from prison they probably won’t be stable until after the child turns 18 if they don’t fall back into drugs and crime upon release.

[@Mimikinn]

I read this story when it was first posted but didn’t know about all the updates. I’m really glad to hear all the good news for that little girl and OP. I wish them all the best.

[@paulchaudoir190]

My brother in law was raised by his grandparents. He rarely ever saw his mother. He never saw his father since his father was married to a different woman. When he got into adulthood he was able to have a good relationship with his mother and later on was able to meet his half-brothers. There's always hope if you give it time.

[@brycekline982]

The innocence of a child. Don't correct her for calling you 2 Mommy & Daddy. She knows who's who and has chosen you both. OP &"hubby" by now have been loving, playing teaching and doting over her since she came to the home. Not sure what gma was trying to pull, but I suggest going NC or supervised visitation. Bio mom & dad: They're probably sobering up and realizing that you are not only keeping your word, but also how happy and safe the little one is and they know she's better off with op. Op, Continue doing what you are doing and enjoy unexpected parenthood. ( Loved the part of fiance repeating"dad".

[@ABCDG13]

Story #1: It’s times like this, you have the right to get rid of friends who think the parental rights of drug addicts are more important than the safety and security of a child!

[@dancing0nthe3dge]

Why can't they establish short-term guardianship over her? To terminate upon the parents release or if not, after that they can fully adopt? Come on, I know an attorney can write up this contract.

[@zoe9190]

In these cases, you do whatever is best for the kid, not to help the parents in jail. The kid had no choice, but they did. If she wants to stop the visits or videocalls to ger parents in jail, have the backup from her therapist and let them know unless N wants to try again, contact will be cut, it is up to her and she will tell us. You arent going anywhere

[@jakeand9020]

That last update is the real reason you want parental rights signed over to you for long-term care. What's best for the child is great in the abstract, now it's personal. Forget the financial and time investment it's the emotional investment that's really dangerous. If the parents did not have their parental rights stripped or give them up, legal guardianship or not they can (and probably will) wreak havock on both yours and the child's life. That's even before proving suitability and trying for custody.

[@Alteusgirl]

That story was so touching. In the end from what OP said they will be in jail for 15years... by the time they got out their daughter will be 20yo. Op should embrace being not just the aunt but the mom because that is what her and her fiancé will be for that child.. the ones that raise her and have her the stability she needed and therefore her parents.

[@amandaperry660]

The parents will be stripped of their parental rights at sentencing. Either the state will take the child or a family will. Usually, a former convict has to apply to re-establish parental rights, even just for visitation. Y'all need to learn some things.

[@TheLodjur]

So happy to hear this little girl is getting some joy and peace in her life, finally. Let her call you mom and dad if she wants, you ARE her mom and dad, biology/genes has nothing to do with parenting nor love. Best of luck to your little family!

[@yarningchick]

I heard the first bit through the kitten, but it was such a joy finding out that sweet little girl isn't the only one thriving from her new situation. As bad as it sounds, it's probably for the best that the birth donors have lost interest in her. Here's hoping that if they try to force themselves into her life, she'll be able to stand her ground.

[@thomasbarca9297]

This is was a beautiful story, I love reddit stories like this I do hope the parents never get access OP and their fiancé are doing amazing with their niece it made me smile

[@TriXJester]

Honestly I wouldnt put much hope behind those two even getting out when she's a teenager, it's highly likely they would do something while incarcerated that will make their sentence longer, especially if the two are addicts as it's easier to get more hardcore drugs in prison than you'd think it would be.

[@ajb7530]

If N goes into foster care, their parental right could be taken away. She could be adopted into a new family. It would be better if OP and partner to taken in N and have parental rights, so they can make the best decisions for N. Your Niece calling you mommy and daddy is OK as long the niece is OK with saying it. She clearly is. So it's all good.

[@lorifiedler13]

The niece calling op and her bf mom and dad was from the heart. No coercing.

[@meiwa2020]

Omg I'm not crying, my eyes are just leaking 😭😭❤

[@KeyMasterX]

To the OP, keep doing what you're doing because it is making that little girl's life a whole lot better and she appreciates you for it. And her calling you and your now fiance mom and dad, she's choosing to do that on her own since you said she's aware that you are her aunt. She is CHOOSING you! Let that sink in and hope your lives stay good and best wishes to your step mother.

[@sammyk.6457]

Oh god I’m crying over the “mommy and daddy” thing

[@Feynix4]

Who’s cutting onions in here, seriously???

[@PinkMarshmallows]

I'm currently ugly crying with OP. I'm so happy for them.

[@kanelovec4315]

Story 1. They already going to loss parental rights. They in prison and if child has no where to go they going to state foster care. Meaning state will most like take parents rights away so kid can have a chance of being adopted or child will be placed in a group home. Update. So they never had time with kid or took care of the child period. They pretty much abandoned her at the parents house. That kid probably has no idea on who her parents are or why they are gone

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 1- the "parents" are not acting out of consideration for their daughter. They're doing what's best for their wants and desires, not what's best for their daughter. Being pushed around the foster system while parents are in and out of prison, being raised by parents who are on drugs, is not what is best for this child. The best thing they could do for her right now would be to sign away their parental rights. When they're out of prison and are clean, perhaps they can revise this with Aunt/Uncle, and start having their daughter stay over a lot. I wish them the best in the battle with their demons, and am rooting for them to get clean, I can't imagine the struggle they're both facing, but, they need to do what's best for their daughter, even if it's the hardest and most heartbreaking decision. That final update made me a bit teary eyed. I'm so glad little Nia is settling into her new life and it sounds like she's flourishing 💜🖤.

[@melaniederr6053]

So did they end up moving to Florida in the end? OP and BF are wonderful people and parents. It made my heart glow when she called them mom and dad.

[@nicknitro86]

That wouldn't be a question, that would be a demand. And anyone who would call me horrible for that would be cut off.

[@cheergiver]

My adopted brother is a child of a drug addict who went to prison. His grandparents had him and couldn’t deal with him because he was “naughty.” My parents took him because the grandparents were ready to put him into foster care. He’s had some troubles but my parents did alright, and now he’s living on his own, and got a chefs coat for the place he works at just by his genius cooking skills- he never went to culinary school. These kids are almost never better off going back to their parents.

[@MariMotherofGoblins]

Honestly a guardianship would work in this situation. The only things they couldn't do with a guardianship is change the kids names. Also it's really really hard to reverse guardianship, like the parents would have to get out and be heavily involved for a while. Also if they were in jail until the kids was a teen, then the courts would take Into account what the teen themselves wants.

[@testtickles7648]

I like the way you put it as they "earned their titles". I said the same to my ex's girlfriend years ago when he wasn't ready to be a Dad, but she was absolutely amazing with our son and fully taking care of him when he was there. He was 2 at the time and she called me to tell me he was trying to call her mom and she wanted to teach him something different cause she felt it was disrespectful to me. I told her that same thing...I wouldn't feel disrespected cause she earned the title.

[@deniseslay9056]

Wow! OP is awesome. Rock on. OP’s boyfriend sounds like a keeper 😎 I’m so happy for N.

[@emnorfolk5559]

"Their child's wellbeing should be their priority"... It never has been before or they wouldn't be in this position, why should it be now? The baby needs to be taken!

[@alenasenie6928]

Update 4: hey, now you can go to Disney as a family, the whole nuclear family Edit: nuclear, in this case, refers to core

[@TheBastet613]

My mom adopted my nephew when he was three.His mom was not in a good situation

[@TheNormExperience]

“My boyfriend is on Cloud 9 and has been whispering, ‘Dad’ under his breath and smiling. I on the other hand was ugly crying. But should we correct her???” Absolutely NOT! Your niece called you that with a big smile on her face. You’ve given her this family, this happiness, this safety. That little kitten! You get to enjoy that too OP. She can have more than one Mom and Dad - and this lucky little girl now has 3 different sets, and you’re one of them! We love a happy ending here, so take all that joy that awesome little girl brings in your life OP, and hold onto it even in the hard times. You’re doing great ‘Mom’!

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

This story is sad and uplifting. OPs niece is safe and happy now that she's living with OP. Her parents don't care and never did care about her. They're drug addicts and don't deserve to have her in their lives. It's sad that the niece's first five years of her life were going through this. With time for her becoming stable, and the fact that OPs stepmom and dad gave her such a better beginning then her own parents, the niece has decided on her own to call OP and her boyfriend, future husband, mommy and daddy. Whenever a child who feels loved and cared for from one or two adults, that child will call them mom and dad. Especially at that young age. Children know that a person who really cares and loves doing this for real. They will decide that those people will be called mom and dad. It is one of the best way for the child to do this because they're showing respect and admiration towards those adults. There is nothing wrong with the niece calling OP and her boyfriend mommy and daddy. They've been dealing with her becoming happier and more secure than where she was before. OPs parents did this but only partially, not as good as OP is doing right now. That is why I find it uplifting to hear that from the niece. It means that she approves of OP and her future husband will be the greatest people for herself.

[@suem8591]

What a wonderful story .. so glad it was one of those that turned out great. So happy for them.

[@messinalyle4030]

If I were OP, I would be fine with either them signing away their parental rights permanently or going the guardianship route and making them prove their fitness to be parents by the time they get out. Especially if Nia's word would be heavily considered as to whether she would go back with them, seeing as she would be at least a teenager by then. And if she's an adult by then, then the whole question would be a moot point anyway. Do I have any faith that Nia's parents actually could become fit for her to live with by the time they get out? Not much. They've shown themselves to be selfish by saying they would rather Sia be taken into the foster care system than sign away their rights permanently, as well as manipulative by having the cheek to say they know Nia's needs best. And then they turned around and started distancing themselves from her during video calls! But ten years is a long time, and a lot can happen in that time frame, I guess.

[@Germania72]

Story 1: It's better if they signed them off because of practical and legal reasons. As they're going to be away for a while, OP needs to make decisions about her life without the hassle of other people trying to take her away from them or objecting their decisions.

[@DisneyChar]

They chose drugs over their kid and now they want to choose punishing you over their kid. Hopefully they get worse in prison and have accidents. Extended family wanted you to pay for 3-4 of the kids, the itinerary you got was likely bigger than they planned. Just run, none of these people bring anything to your lives.

[@robincoffman6723]

Story one, you ARE her mommy and daddy, the minute you and your boyfriend took her into your home AND heart , you became her parents, her safe place. I was crying with joy at her boyfriend s reaction so sweet and beautiful and yes, being called mommy is the sweetest word in the world. Have you been able to legaly adopt her yet, i need to hear it happened, yes, i am un ashamed sappy on this love to the three of you. I meant your boyfriend s reaction

[@geraldgrenier8132]

From the perspective of someone who older half sibling called their step-father Dad. I see no problem with the niece calling them Mom and Dad. As mention it's the earned title. However OP should point out while it Niece's choice who she calls Mom and Dad, her bio parents did fight to stay in her life that she should reserve Mother and Father for then. And she when she a teen will be getting a choice to keep them more in her life. And reserve those titles for them will make the choice fairer for the nieces when the time comes. (As a bonus it protects OP from a charge of Parental Alienation)

[@Tammohawk1]

That made me very misty eyed that that sweet little girl called OP and her boyfriend Mommy and Daddy. Really got me. In a good way. In my opinion, kids visiting jail is not a good thing. And OP's niece clearly isn't fond of going. Time to stop taking her. They had barely earned visitation when they got arrested. They lost all rights in my opinion.

[@johnchristopher4341]

So what they want to have their daughter back when they get out of jail to do the same thing and f*** it up again

[@mindyschocolate]

Once an addict, always an addict. They can get out in ten years and go right back in to prison within a year, They need to give up their rights. It’s what’s best for the kid. Junkies don’t make good parents.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I always cringe when people say Florida has nice weather. I can't imagine worse weather than Florida. I hate the heat

[@RylieRiddle]

Some people like that weather, love it even. Those people are wrong but it's okay.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

The jailbirds lost interest BECAUSE their daughter was happy! That's the only darned reason why they disengaged from her - besides not having any control over any matters. Uh well, Nia is better off without them and being with "Mummy and Daddy" (OP & BF) and her Meemaw and Papo and Nobi the cat over those donars.

[@sammieh9695]

those people are not parents and in the end the child knew it. OP letting her call them mom and dad is the best thing they can do for her mental health and adjusting as she grows up, it will provide a sense of normalcy. I think getting her away from her parents and their toxicity and moving to Florida with grandparents is the best thing they could do for her. Also the reason Js mother had to save more for that trip is because she planned on OP paying someone else's portion

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Update 3 - It is glaringly obvious that this granny was trying to hoodwink OP into paying more than double for this trip. $500 vs. $1200 is a HUGE disconnect. And then to try to guilt OP with the bombardment on social media - yeah, as OP said 'what a good granny'. So the entitlement runs rampant through the family and we can see why Nia's mom is the way she is. Never mind that most grandparents would just be thrilled to take all their grands on a Disney trip at all. I'd be worried if they were really going (especially with that granny's vehement denial that OP can pay the travel agent directly) or trying to get their hands on Nia to take off with her. Maybe the social worker needs to be contacted and OP needs to be VERY careful about letting these people around Nia at all!

[@laica01]

To tell the truth I felt that they wanted to kidnap Nia and while OP didn't saw it, that way at least for me was the vibe that gave me. That they would take Nia and after the holiday to Disney the aunt of Nia would take her and disappear with her and her children.

[@aaroneisenman6873]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: "Any man/woman can be a father/mother. A person EARNS the title of Dad/Mom.

[@thenecroticraptor8338]

Story 1 hits close to home. We were supposed to be the family of a little boy while his dad got clean. I say "supposed to" because his witch of a grandmother swooped in and snatched him away from us. Keep in mind, this wasn't a good grandmother, either. She smoked indoors, and so frequently that her walls were stained with the cigarette smoke. I would be a damn liar if I said no part of me still worries for that poor kid.

[@delmarhi]

Yes it’s ok if it’s what she wants. You are the ones that stepped up for the roles and responsibilities of parenting. You’ve earned the greatest titles that can be bestowed. Wear them proud and have fun. They grow up in the blink of an eye.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark. Great story. Stay safe please, peace.

[@jessicawolfe5861]

No, it’s not unreasonable to have them sign over rights. They may lose them anyways. The best thing for the child is stability.

[@tegantalks9612]

Parents aren’t who give birth to the child they are the people who are their for the child and raise them. My grandparents adopted my uncle as a baby and if you tried to tell him my grandparents aren’t his real parents and my mom isn’t his real sister, he would fight you. We are his family. My grandma is still the grandparent who comes over and watches his daughters when he needs her to. His bio parents are strangers who he has no interest in knowing. It’s a little different for Nia because she’s adopted from a sibling but Nia chose her parents and it’s OP and fiancé. The little girl shouldn’t be made to feel bad or be told she can’t call these people mom and dad. They are the ones who took her in and have her best interests at heart. They’re the ones who she will cry to when she has her first heartbreak, who will guide her through the tumultuous time that is puberty for a teenager, and fiancé will most likely be the ones who she asks to walk her down the isle when she gets married. It doesn’t matter if OP has other children who are her biological children, that girl will always be her oldest daughter.

[@beegee1960]

Why should OP take in a child for as long as 10 years and then have to give her up? They will become emotionally invested in the child. If the parents get out and take her back, OP and her husband as well as the child will be devastated. And who is to say they will not go right back to their former lifestyle? The odds of this happening are high. Protect yoursel and the child. Insist on nothing less than official guardianship.

[@lilypaddington1797]

After the first update: "Oh that's lovely, sounds like OP and their spouse have everything under control :) good for them and the kid." Scrolling along the timeline to see what the next story is: "O-oh... Oh no..."

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: NTA. After 8-10 years, she will have been with you longer than she has been with them, and almost be a legal adult. Also, they claim they know what is best for their daughter but a) wouldn't get clean and b) would rather her go into foster care than sign over their rights. Nuff said. Actions speak louder than words and they only care about themselves. I read the biography of Cynthia Ann Parker, who was kidnapped and raised by a Comanche tribe for about twenty-five years. She married chief Peta Nocona, and had three children with him. She was found by rangers and taken against her will back to her biological family, where she lived for ten years mourning her Comanche family and refusing to re-integrate into white society, escaping multiple times only to be brought back. Her daughter, who was taken with her, died of influenza, and Naduah (her Comanche name) died of a broken heart a few years later. She was in her 40's. To her, her family wasn't the people she was born to but her tribe, her husband, and her children. Disney update: NTA. "We had to push the trip back because now we need to raise more money." That right there says it all. If the amount for Nia was 1,200 and Nia is no longer going, surely everyone else is paying their own way so they don't need the extra money, right? /sarcasm. They tried to rip you off and were pissed you didn't let them. I shudder to think how Nia would have been treated on that trip. Last update: How sad that the parents stopped caring once she became happy. What awful people!

[@AngelaMerici12]

I love the one who said "No one is an a hole here" because the parents clearly had other priorities besides the kid.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Anyone can have a kid. It takes a special kind of person to earn the title of Mom and Dad. Good job, Mom and Dad. You earned it.

[@emo7636]

That custody story is something that happens all the time most likely, so sad. Parental rights can be re-established after their release, if the guardian is willing to go to bat for them. And it's not 'extreme' to ask for that, because without guardianship this person can't make any decisions whatsoever, such as medical emergencies and moving and stuff.

[@brigidtheirish]

1: Stories like this are why I am *so glad* my sister and brother-in-law adopted my niece. Addict parents, bio-dad spent a great deal of his girlfriend's pregnancy in a *coma* from a motorcycle accident, and bio-mom ended up going full psycho-stalker a few months after the adoption was finalized. Coincided with confirmation that my niece suffered *no* ill effects from whatever the bio-mom had been taking. Thank *GOD* she was halfway across the country from us because her escalating beyond cyber-harassment wouldn't surprise me. Thankfully, the bio-dad turned out okay after waking up and getting a *lot* of therapy to work around the brain damage. 2: So Nia's egg-donor is a junkie and her maternal grandmother is a scammer. What a lovely family.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

The grandmother might have played a role in why the egg-donor is like that, in my opinion.

[@Deedoof]

If step-bro and his GF are jealous that their daughter is flourishing they were never parents. Real parents(blood or not) *want* their child to have the best life, and these jerks are pissy she's doing well? Very disappointing.

[@Sworddove]

Anyone can be a mother or a father. It takes someone special to be a Mommy or a Daddy. You can also have however many Moms and Dads that you like. When I was in the military and any of my battle buddies were talking with their mothers or fathers they would usually put their parents on speakerphone so that all of us could say "Hi Mom, Hi Dad". When I was overseas in South korea, one of my battle buddies family lived in the southern part of the state where my mother was. When he went on leave to go back home, I asked him if he would stop by and say hi to my mother and take a present to her from me. Later, my mother told me about how shocked she was when a complete and total stranger knocked on her door, handed her the present, gave her a hug and said "Hi Mom, I'm (insert my name here) friend at Camp Casey. He then stayed for coffee and told my mother all about our shenanigans that we got up to out there, the little s#!+.. 😉 I didn't want my mother knowing about half that crap. 😂🤣😂 You can bet that we all took it very seriously to make sure that we thought of all of our battle Buddies parents as our own because we never knew when we may have to help break the news that one of them had been killed in action and to remember them with their parents.

[@LooseDeuce]

ugh, this is so wholesome! battlebuddy telling mom of shenanigans, cheeky lil shit lol.

[@Sworddove]

@@LooseDeuce if I remember rightly, he was telling her about one of the more interesting evenings when I had to get some of my buddies back on post before curfew. There was only one cab left and so I shoved one in the front passenger seat beside the driver, three in the back seat, one in the trunk and as I literally went flying through the open back window across three of my buddies laps, I hollered out "Bali bali Adeshi!" which, for anyone that's ever been in South Korea knows that means, fast, fast sir. We got around to the back gate at Camp Hovey with maybe about 60 seconds to spare before they put the gate down. I unloaded this possee of drunk and stumble bums out of the cab and the looks on their faces were priceless as I got the one out of the trunk. The gate guard just shook his head and looked at us very impatiently like, "get your butts in here already". Then I got them home and poured them into their respective beds before heading home myself. 🙂

[@kaygrrl9004]

I think the bio parents are becoming withdrawn because it’s finally sinking in that they messed up. They see this little girl not giving the love kids usually express to their parents and know it’s lacking. See her be happy with people that aren’t you. They’ll probably be depressed when they realize how sucky they were and if they kept clean then that little girl would have loved them with her whole heart. I’ve seen and experienced that guilt in my mother when she was going through her stuff with my siblings. It’s a sucky situation but it’s the parents that put themselves there. No one else, they have to sit there do what they got to do so they can better themselves and move on.

[@0INFERNO1]

"She called us mommy and daddy" Oh my heart :)

[@cammando2363]

OP as a child that was adopted I am very proud of you for taking on this responsibility. Also I have a step cousin that was surrendered to family because bio parents are TRASH. Similar story. But you taking her in and giving her the love she needs is better than most outcomes! Please just keep her in mind as your first child. Treat her as your family. Even if you end up having a child of your own biologically. She will fear that she will be treated differently if that happens. Just reassure her that she is family. Don’t treat her much differently. Make her understand that she is still YOUR child, but a baby requires more attention for many years. Listen to her. Talk with her. Keep loving her. Do that and you will make a huge difference to her and those that interact with her! It’s what good parents do.

[@saldiven2009]

It's funny how many people seem to be more concerned about the interests of criminal, drug-abusing parents than they are about the well-being of a child.

[@edwardbickford8277]

I agree with Mark. OP has definitely earned and deserves the "Mom" title.

[@paden1865able]

If the parents didn't want to lose their child or freedom, they should have gotten clean and straight. Apparently, Nia wasn't a strong enough reason to motivate them to do that. By the time they are released, she's probably going to be an adult and they've no one to blame but themselves. Let them live with that and go on having happy lives. Adopt her!

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

There is only one motivation that matters in this situation and that is getting better for yourself. The problem is something internal in them. And addiction is not something you can actually beat. They, at best, can keep on top of it to prevent from spiraling again but the temptation will always be there because their brain has been wired for the high.