I Put A BOUNDARY On One Of My Boyfriend's Friendships, He Says I'm Controlling r/Relationships

[@karlab95]

For Story 2, I think people got way too hung up on the OCD and Stepmom situation. If at 18 my parents had paid for a cleaning service for our house and I'd taken friends home that made a mess, the LEAST I would've done would have been cleaning so other family members didn't notice we'd made a mess. The fact that she left the mess behind for the stepmother to see is absolutely unacceptable. No one should've had to tell Olivia she had to clean after herself and her friends. That should've been a given. Paying for the cleaning service after she failed to do that seems perfectly logical to me.

[@devegas4910]

exactly

[@brianna_sudawn]

Period.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Olivia needed an azz beating at the age of 5. Where was daddy in all of this??? Gotta love an absent father that actually LIVES with the kid. He married the OP to be his live in Nanny, Maid, and Cook.

[@kashiialcuin1688]

I agree with that. People got hung up on the diagnosis and the fact that she's the stepmom that they forgot that Olivia didn't even clean up after herself. Yeah, she could have cleaned it up, but how clean would it have been compared to the service? Especially since she didn't even think to clean it up beforehand.

[@LexysamaIllustrations]

The OP’s OCD isn’t the issue here, it’s the step-daughter. She clearly lied about it not being her even with video proof. She should absolutely have to pay for it because she should be respectful of OPs OCD and how stressed out it would make anyone if they came back to their house messy.

[@jessicamccollumm]

THANK YOU! I’m sitting here listen and everyone is like “your OCD is the problem” no bitch. SHE PAYS FOR HER HOME AND IF SHE WANTS IT CLEAN THEN ITS GONNA BE MFKING CLEAN. She pays for a cleaning service HER SELF it is not too much to expect an 18 year old ADULT to clean up after themselves and take their damn shoes off. Like damn people. The mental health stigma is too real on Reddit sometimes. Her OCD doesn’t even sound that bad she wants a clean house. Like damn.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Or maybe she forgot or didnt know. The stepmother is hundred percent wrong. She never said she brought it up to Olivia prior. And instead of making Olivia clean it, she asks her to...pay for it? That's so weird.

[@thethirdtime9168]

I understood the 'it wasn't her' comments more in line of 'It weren't my shoes, so I'm not responsible'. Your take is not necessarily worse, but definitely sets up a different situation. In one she's outright lying, in the other she's intentionally skirting her responsibilities.

[@colbylawson5331]

@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 How do you forget that? That's something she should be forgetting. Step Daughter is completely wrong for what she did.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Her not being able to make friends because she doesn't let people come over and mess up the house is not a sufficient excuse. Her messy mooch "friends" come over and, given the cultural norms, go well past what's normal or expected. Is Olivia that dense that she can't see the mess? Maybe OP is too OCD, but if you know someone is paying for weekly cleaning it's pretty clear that there is an established standard for household order. However, the first order of action would be for Olivia to clean it up first. If she gives some half-hearted (or no) action, then she'd have to pay.

[@shainasawyer4649]

Story 2: Instead of having her pay for the extra cleaning services, Olivia should be made to clean up the crumbs and footprints. She’s 18, shes very capable of cleaning whatever mess she and her friends made.

[@brookelynnwu8016]

I agree, but like OP said it “wouldn’t be up to her standards.” I feel like even if she did clean it wouldn’t be good enough, I think the OCD is the real issue here.

[@lynnw7155]

Pizza crumbs and footprints is "destroying the house"??? Make Olivia clean it; if it's not clean enough for Ms. OCD, Ms. OCD can clean more. OP doesn't say where they live, but shoes in the house is normal where I live. OP sounds impossible to live with.

[@melow2088]

@@lynnw7155 shoes in the house may be normal where you live but it isn't where OP lives (it's also unacceptable where I live). I don't have OCD but if someone did that to my house, that will be the last time I invite them over. Thankfully where I live guests are usually polite enough to clean up after their own messes unless they're children (their parents will clean up after them). At 18, Olivia can clean her messes up. Her actions show how disrespectful, irresponsible and inconsiderate she is!

[@mikkolaki24]

@@melow2088same. Its her guests, she should have told her guests to be more proper. The daughter is an adult. She lives in their house, its their rules. She benefits from the cleanliness, now she needs to pay for it.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@lynnw7155 yrp. Sounds like Op is being wasteful with money if she's having it professionally cleaned again. She needs to get her ocd in control

[@rubymeaddle]

Not wanting muddy footprints on your floor isn't even OCD, it's basic cleanliness

[@khrishp]

I will say I think you misunderstood that part of the story. There weren't mud stains. There were shoe prints in the carpet and it was a bit wet. There wasn't dirt or anything. It's just the ability to see shoe prints triggered her OCD.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@khrishp Dirty wet shoes on my carpet is enough to get a brick thrown at you 😮‍💨 y'all just admit you were raised in a barn

[@Yume10605]

​@@khrishpcause it was snowing those where probably more salty wet shoe prints. Which is bad enough but the fact there is a no shoe rule coming from cultural things tells me that op is asian so yeah that's a big deal.

[@terramarini6880]

@@khrishp Don't wear your shoes in the house in Canada, I will throw hands, you walk through dog dirt, hawked up loogies, lord knows what else in those shoes... don't track that in, ew! I'm with step mom here. Savage lack of respect to make it so the person paying for a service never gets to enjoy it.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Ikr, to me it's like they're all admitting they're basement dwelling neckbeards who don't know how to clean, not that that's horribly surprising for reddit lol 🤮

[@catherinecox573]

I had to double check the ages after hearing OP's description of the relationship dynamics, bc I SWEAR this is some teenage cliche drama nonsense. The man is over 30?!?! 🙄 Move on, OP the man is too far gone.

[@mweathers79]

I thought the same thing. Are these HS kids? So childish

[@joec8321]

She is controlling. Only if gender roles reversed

[@morphinpink]

​@@joec8321She's not controlling. If the genders were reversed it would be the same thing.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@joec8321 not really 🤷‍♀️ it's one specific friend who the bf has bad boundaries with. She voiced her concerns, if his friendship means more to him than his relationship then he's free to leave.

[@madnessofvdub]

The boyfriend said he's willing to walk away if op didn't like it. Op decided to stay.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Whether or not someone comes from a country that allow someone to come in to their house their shoes on, it’s still common courtesy to take off your wet shoes if it rains or snows someone else’s house. How in the world are these three people in college without the common rudimentary knowledge of not wearing wet shoes in someone else’s house? Talk about rude and disrespectful. Honestly, I would make all of those people pitch in to rehire that staff to come back in and clean up because all of them not just the daughter was despicable.

[@Shangori]

"I was sure there were some cousins who would be happy to babysit" "Christopher is Janet's boyfriend" I'm crying 🤣😂 What a story teller and a lovely big sister, that OP.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I busted out laughing too!😂

[@alicewilloughby4318]

I'm sure Christopher would be happy to be babysat by an attractive female cousin. (But over 18, please!)

[@KatzMcKatz]

That was the best part! I loved that too.

[@venusbleu5764]

other op can work on her ocd but stepdaughter still needs to be less disrespectful of the house wtf does that have to do with her making friends...

[@mogulmade]

"He expressed he needed some time do to healing and inner work" - aka sleeping with the friend 😴.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 3: Now that's a big sister anyone would want, and I love hearing about grown brats getting put in their place.

[@JW-vd4il]

I want a "butch fairy godmother!" 😁 She did a great job saving the day.

[@maggpiprime954]

This story was _satisfying!!_

[@coyoteodinkar5548]

Every one that says the dad in Story 2 is an asshole is a hardcore missionaries and should never find a date ever again.

[@justaperson4656]

Right? My older sisters would kill for me, but this extent--

[@Jasonfallen71]

I’m not at the end of the story yet but I’m seeing a terrible sister so far. She kept Janet’s craziness to herself which falsely gave the bride sister confidence in her choice about involving Janet. She didn’t tell the family about it or tell the other bridesmaids to help the bride see her mistake. Then she does nothing to help her sister realize Janet must go. That’s on OP as she’s the one who knows everything and has kept it to herself. If, big if, she redeems herself in the end maybe she’s not a total AH but I’m seeing someone who is part of the problem rather than part of a solution.

[@oritreuben2184]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to live in a clean house and the daughter should have cleaned after herself. Make her pay. It has nothing to do with your OCD. Your daughter also lied. It is basic expected behavior to clean after yourself. Do not let her get away with this. If she or your husband are blaming your ICD they are gaslighting you.

[@bunnyslippers191]

She, personally, may not have left muddy footprints on the floors and crumbs and random pizza toppings on the kitchen counter, but the people she let into the house did. She's responsible for the mess her guests left in the house. If she can't tell her guests to take off their shoes and wipe down the counters she needs to learn how to do that. If she told them those things and they refused to follow the rules of the household then she needs to dump them and get better friends. Allowing people to disrespect the house rules in order to get friends means you're going to wind up with people who aren't your friends because they refuse to respect boundaries.

[@lyssagames4311]

@@bunnyslippers191I was always responsible for messes made by my friends when I was a kid. I had a friend that would never put my toys back and would leave their water/juice cup on my dresser which would leave a water ring. I stopped inviting them over and told them we could only play at their house. If a little kid in elementary school can figure that out so can a full blown college student

[@AndreNDP]

Yeah, her "cleaning level" is insane. That ain't gaslighting, it's correct.

[@Icalasari]

As somebody with OCD... It could very well be their OCD. OP was working a lot more, which means extra stress, which can aggravate OCD and cause even minor issues to seem severe

[@nela3986]

She compared having footprints and crumbs as "destroying the house". Mopping the footprints and cleaning a few crumbs aren't enough. SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL CLEANING -extra expensive since she wants some sort of DEEP CLEANING- for that. Yeah. Totally normal. No OCD and an out of control stepmother at all. 😂😂😂 Are you projecting or just hating on young folks?

[@srkh8966]

The cleaning story-OCD has zero to do with the issue. if I came home to a mess left by adult children I would be really angry. Olivia should’ve been made to come over and clean it up.

[@gilesclone]

It’s not OCD to not want snow tracks all over your clean house. And how much effort does it take to wipe the crumbs off the counter? OP is NTA.

[@srkh8966]

@@gilesclone I’m more concerned about an 18 year old who doubles down on “It wasn’t me”.

[@StilltheAp0llyon]

Olivia can't "come over" because she lives there. Also, OP doesn't want the daughter to clean up because she isn't as skilled as the professional cleaners. Even if the daughter had tried to clean up in the hours or minutes before OP got home, she still wouldn't have been happy.

[@ceeshnia]

@@StilltheAp0llyon If everything was properly cleaned before OP got home, she probably wouldn't have noticed. How an 18 y/o doesn't know how to properly clean up after herself and friends, and use the brain she was born with to think "Oh, we made a mess; I should clean it up" is beyond me. She literally tried to deny it being her, which is a whole other issue.

[@Yume10605]

​@@StilltheAp0llyonI think if Olivia had at least tried op wouldn't have been so made. But rather then try she and her friends left it. Then when confronted she goes it wasn't me. I get the feeling that those things where the straw that broke op's back

[@camellia8625]

It doesn’t matter about OP’s OCD or how stressed she is with her work; it is NOT acceptable for the step daughter and her friends to create mess so OP couldn’t enjoy the service she paid for. It is the height of disrespect.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yea, I would have been pissed too if I had paid for a cleaning service to come in and the house was dirty when I got home! I would say if OP could stand to live with her OCD for a few weeks, then save her money and let the stepdaughter and husband live in the filth they create! Might be a perfect time to go on a solo vacation if she can’t stand the filth before caving 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Literally, it would've been fine enough if they did it before the cleaning service came and it got cleaned, but they intentionally did it after the cleaning service left!

[@Revelwoodie]

Some of these stories are great tests of a reader's age, and this is one of them. For adults, this is a case of parents who are so busy they have pay for cleaning services once a week, and a teenager who breaks rules (no shoes) and lies about it (it wasn't me!). For a teenager, this story is about a crazy (OCD) woman who is financially abusing a young girl who is just trying to make new friends. Maybe this is my bias as a mom, but mom is right. And actions need consequences. I wouldn't make her pay the bill, personally, I'd make her clean it. But it's not my kid, not my decision.

[@Cjaj2]

It was crumbs and wet foot prints, OP is acting like she threw a party and caused massive property damage. Have you ever made a pizza from scratch? There would have been way more than a few crumbs on the counter chances are the step daughter did clean up after self she just didn't do it to OPs standards

[@lindalehr1551]

​@revelwoodie Well put. I think what OP did ate end, talking to her and rescinding the payment, but asking her to clean was perfect.

[@selinesbeau]

I also live in a place where it's rude to wear outdoor shoes in the home. I really don't know why people would be ok with tracking mess from outside into your house. That's gross to people that don't have OCD too.

[@dream6562]

As someone who does not have ocd, I don't think it's rude or gross to wear outdoor shoes inside as long as it's not soggy/muddy

[@sonialinsey8083]

I don’t have carpet in the downstairs part of my house and I live somewhere dry (mojave)so I don’t mind shoes in the house. Shoes UPSTAIRS on the carpet is kinda a no. I have once or twice when I was in a hurry but not regularly. The CRUMBLES though 🤣 oh lord the CRUMBLES. Bro just hand her a rag and tell her to wipe the counter down. My dipshit stepmom is like this, too. My dad was surprised that I didn’t want to live there during college. No thanks, dad.

[@Nevertoleave]

Same. I have a mud room, shoes off

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@sonialinsey8083Dude crumbs everywhere so much that you can actively see them that aren't swept into the trash is just fucking gross. If you left your home because of *crumbs,* that's a *you* issue

[@khaleesireyna731]

​@sonialinsey8083 thank God there's people who find it funny because OP IS ridiculous. How much you want to bet her kids have dealt with some ridiculous shit with cleaning over the years? Piece of paper not properly put away or thrown out? YOUR ROOM IS FILTHY, LOOK AT ALL THIS TRASH. OP sounds exhausting.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Since when is a braided bun a lesbian hairstyle?? 🤔🤷🏾‍♀️ Janet is just saying out of pocket stuff that doesn't even make sense. Would've loved to be fly on the wall when Janet saw OP with her luxurious locks down while Janet was looking how she was looking.

[@nineblackgoats]

Imagine having to disclose your sexual orientation to your hairstylist for them to pick your hairstyle accordingly 💀

[@xxKillgorxx]

​@@nineblackgoats Wait, you don't?

[@nela3986]

By the sounds of it, Jenet is a very unhappy person.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@thetinglewitchasmr3641 Best thing I've heard today 👏🏾😂

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: tell the sister! She NEEDS to know what type of person she has in her wedding party

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

OP's a great sister but she dropped the ball in the beginning by not telling her sister about the BS Janet was pulling. They both could have avoided a lot of stress if she'd talked to her sister sooner.

[@chinaking918]

Right. She missed everything with her sister because of Janet I would’ve been told my sister what she was doing but me and my sister is close so if I would’ve missed anything regarding something as important as wedding prep and the parties that come before she would’ve been on my case before Janet could say yellow lol

[@aawyfroggy723]

Story one op is unfortunately the backup plan, kept on the line bc he doesn’t want to look pathetic while begging for scraps at the other girls table

[@Raaslen]

Story 2: why are the comments attacking OP? What she asked for was quite reasonable, she paid for something that got undone by her stepdaughter, it's only fair she pays for it to be made again.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Because most Redditors are just as entitled as Olivia was. That kid needed an azz beating when she was 5 years old but daddy was afraid of upsetting her then as he is now. The OP should have packed up the husband's and the step-daughters crap into garbage bags and left it outside the door.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Because OP IS being f*cking ridiculous and making her mental issue everyone else's problem. 1) she pays for the cleaner to come once a week. So they'll be back to bring everything to her over-the-top standard within 7 days. 2) she describes it as "trashed". I'm sorry, did the daughter legit turn it into a hoarder house? Was there mold, trash, and rodents everywhere? Nope. Just some footprints and a few crumbs. If OP thinks that's trashed, she needs a reality check. Because that's NOT trashed. This whole thing isn't about the step daughter bringing in her friends, it's about OPs control issues. If it's tied to the anxiety she experiences due to OCD, she's not handling it in a healthy way by demanding the step daughter pay for it and calling the place trashed because of a few pizza crumbs. Clean it up or stfu, the world does not revolve around OPs level of cleanliness. And before someone says "well it's her house", it's also her husband's house and he doesn't sound like he agrees with her assessment of "trashed". OP needs to get a grip.

[@DerekScottBland]

Story 3 - we had a Janet in our wedding but thankfully not as bad. She was mad she wasn't picked as maid of honor (she had known my wife for less than a year, the MoH was her best friend through high school). She let her displeasure be known by never showing up for any decoration work, and then arriving at the rehearsal dinner with a massive sunburn and hair home-dyed a sickly shade of green. She also refused to go get her hair done with the ladies the day of, and ended up looking like shit. We just quietly cut contact with her after the wedding was done.

[@greendiamondglow]

That dude in story 1 is on his bff's hook. As long as he thinks there's even a chance of getting with her, he's going to subconsciously sabotage any relationship he's in.

[@Ohpickels8899]

Story 3 is awesome, definitely laughed out loud at OPs accidental response to Christopher 😂 I can only imagine how Janet looked when she read that one

[@MissMEhere]

2nd story: Olivia should be cleaning her mess and/or her friends should be cognizant of basic cleanliness.

[@khaleesireyna731]

I agree with that, but OPs description that she "trashed" the house because pizza crumbs and footprints is ridiculous and honestly, OP needs to get a grip on her OCD or she's gonna ruin relationships. Either make step daughter clean it up, clean it yourself, or stfu, because the cleaner comes once a week, so guess what, she'll be back next damn week.

[@prettypills]

@@khaleesireyna731 foot prints of snowy shoes in a house with no shoes rule she didn't even said "yeahh i messed it up" she said "it wasn't me" i am sad that girl didn't get any punishment

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@prettypills not cool on the step daughter's part, I agree. Lying is never going to help, but the fact that OP, instead of asking her to clean up, making her clean it up, or cleaning up herself is asking for easily $200 (guarantee you I did not have $200 handy in undergrad) and has straight-up admitted that nothing the daughter would do in terms of cleaning would be to her standards of cleanliness puts the daughter in a lose-lose situation and shows OP is really just on a power-trip. Maybe it's due to her OCD, maybe not. If it IS due to her OCD, she needs to get better treatment, because trying to control everyone around you to fit your standards/your OCD is NOT how you handle it. OP is TA. Plain and simple. The fact that she keeps trying to defend herself with edits, shows she knows that.

[@prettypills]

@@khaleesireyna731 well if the daughter could just say "hey take off your shoes" this wouldn't happen but she choosed to be the peaple pleaser and let her friend do anything so yeah i am sad she did get any punishment you can't just let people walk around in my house that i estableshed rules with shoes

[@minisnakali]

Story 2: NTA I live in norway, here you do NOT walk inside with outside shoes on. Most households have a cleanliness expectation where you keep your house so clean it looks like it's untouched. Walking inside with shoes getting water which could damage the floor and foot prints is rude enough and then they made a huge mess with crumbs. And instead of taking responsebility she lied about it trying to deny doing it. Ocd or not OP is not TA, Olivia is 18. She's fully capable of understanding actions have consequenses.

[@diamcole]

If she knew that was the friend he had slept with based on their interactions alone, she really should have avoided dating him at all - OP's ex and the friend are the most annoying kind of people lol just be together and stop lying to yourselves.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah exactly! I would instantly be turned off by his behavior before they were even dating. Like girl move on

[@brianlawson3757]

That's not exactly fair, though. In high school, my best friend and I did tacitly try to explore an intimate relationship with each other. It did not work for either of us, but we remained best friends until over 20 years later with no jealousy or hard feelings between us. However, we were super close as friends, but not in any intimate fashion. I was always honest if a partner asked if we'd ever had sex and I'd say we tried once, but it wasn't good for either of us. Done and dusted. Anyone jealous over a mutual blow job that happened decades ago isn't the partner for me. Horny, emotionally confused teens do dumb things and have to learn via mistakes. Someone who's going to tell me to drop a close friend just because almost a quarter century ago we tried hooking up, needs to hoof it, and find themselves a virgin on one of those incel pages. I accept that OP just wasn't happy in the relationship and this thing was her key sticking point. However, if her boyfriend and this girl had a thing, they'd be together more likely than not and even if her boyfriend was carrying a flame for his friend, that's a one sided issue in which I'd say, "Yeah. Just move on." But, what we get here instead is an OP who literally can not abide her partner to be friends with someone because one night a long time ago, he was between her legs and she thinks he's one beer too many from cheating on her. So, she doesn't trust her partner regardless, meaning it's best that they split now, or she's going to side eye every single one of his future female friends the same way. Bullet dodged on both sides.

[@serendipitysirens]

@@brianlawson3757the difference is they clearly kept acting as if they were in an intimate relationship

[@brianlawson3757]

@@serendipitysirens I disagree. My beastie and I often discussed our concerns about each other's partners over the years, though we were largely supportive of each other. Spending time with someone and being concerned with who they're dating doesn't imply intimacy, just being close.

[@solmas2111]

​@@brianlawson3757it's his fault though. Not a bullet dodged a bullet he caused. He literally lied and said oh yeah, I can do this to manipulate her into a sunken cost fallacy. She made her boundary clear, and he distorted it to make it look like everything was fine then moved the goal posts. Classic manipulator behavior. She's the only one who sort of dodged a bullet. She was r e a s o n a b l e and set her boundaries and expectations up front. He did not.

[@QAjimine1]

Story 2: there is nothing wrong with OP’s expectations regardless of her OCD. Her house, her rules. She paid for an exacting service that her stepdaughter is responsible for ruining. Either she pays or she cleans the house to the way she found it. Her “struggle” with making friends has nothing to do with respecting her parents’ house. All she had to do is ask her friends to remove their shoes and not make a mess. If the friends get offended by it then they’re crappy, disrespectful people and aren’t worth being friends with. My and my siblings friends were all respectful people and even helped with chores and we did the same when we were at their houses.

[@lyssagames4311]

Exactly I don’t understand everyone jumping down OP’s throat about wanting her house that she just paid to have cleaned to remain clean. Olivia needs to be responsible and if she had any respect for the rules and cleanliness of the house she would have told her friends to take their shoes off, and she would have cleaned up the kitchen and other areas before her OP and her dad got home. She’s more than old enough to keep a house clean. I think OP should have probably had Olivia clean up the mess and made her re-do it until it was exactly the way it was after the cleaning service had left so Olivia could have learned all of the work it took to get the house that clean and that would have been a good lesson, but also it’s a completely normal punishment to take away phone privileges when a teenager messes up, and not “financial abuse”. Olivia is perfectly capable of getting a part time job at 18 years old.

[@QAjimine1]

@@lyssagames4311 exactly. I come from a completely different generation (GenX) and not only would I have been grounded but it would have been preceded by an ass-whooping.

[@lyssagames4311]

@@QAjimine1 my mom is Gen X, and she was a house keeper. I’m an elder Gen Z, and it would have been the same punishments for me and my siblings because she expected us to keep the house clean to her standards. I had to clean up after my friends and there was one that was never respectful of the house so I told them we could only play at their house after a few times of them leaving a huge mess for me to clean up when they left.

[@tlang7616]

How hard is it being respectful of someone else’s house and property. I feel Olivia might’ve had a problem setting boundaries (shoes off etc) with her friends, because of how much she wants friendships. However, she should’ve cleaned up after her friends if that was the case.

[@MagicIsaacSage]

Story 2: Classic reddit: solve your problems by working less and getting therapy and taking a vacation. Good thing OP could actually afford such things. Also the reddit hivemind was simping hard as hell for Olivia. When will they realize that she will never date any of them?😂

[@jodieg6318]

Story 1: is it possible for old partners to just be friends be after? Yes. Sometimes it does indeed happen usually when it was amicable and both parties are mature enough to move on. But this Ross and Racheal bullshit where it's clear that someone wants their cake and eat it too, I'm glad OP had enough self respect to dump that guy.

[@vincentender1486]

I can vouch for that, one of my close friends I dated and we amicably broke up. We also never had any real arguments which also is an apparent oddity, and we'd been together 6 years

[@SCrEenNaMe-i9h]

No most people can’t

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

@@vincentender1486… not one argument in six years? In a relationship?…What are you two? Bowls of vanilla pudding?

[@AndyyWithAY]

Maybe if Janet got herself some business, she could find someone to marry her, so she could be controlling for her own wedding planning before she inevitably gets divorced. I forgot the details of this story, but the part about Christopher brought it all back. I didn't know she had a child. She doesn't 😭😭🙊🤣🤣 That's such amazing you can't make this 💩 up moment. Such beautiful accidental shade.

[@xelectrix]

People like Janet are so odd to me. That's so much effort to be a POS to someone who is supposed to be her friend. Like, for the rehearsal dinner, did she just ride around in her car for a bit to purposely be late? I'm really picturing her just sitting in her car checking the clock every now and then, deciding on the perfect time to make her entrance 🤣. What a miserable person.

[@TheRealVenna]

I actually LOLed at OP mistaking Christopher for Janet's child rather than her bf! 😂😂😂 I mean, I thought the same thing based on how she worded the question... What am I supposed to do about Christopher, he'll be alone for two hours... That says child who needs supervision, not a whole grown ass man that probably knows how to interact with others on his own. That's funny!

[@crowdemon_archives]

Nothing like poorly phrasing a sentence lmao

[@umbrasunbro2142]

Story 2: Wow… Reddit successfully gaslit someone into believing their condition is the problem not the disrespect shown by her step-daughter. Expecting no shoes in a house and for people to clean up after themselves and friends IS NOT “too high standards”. Especially not in a country where no shoes in the house is the norm. She didn’t clean up after herself so OP did what she normally would do and higher a cleaner. Telling the EIGHTH-TEEN YEAR OLD that because of their actions/lack of action they are responsible for paying OP back. The whole “making friends is hard” is such a manipulative tactic because it has nothing to do with the situation. Cleaning up after yourself and your company should be an automatic given, especially when you’re living with your parents. Smh. Reddit is so weird….

[@crisrodriguez5693]

I think the "too high standards" thing is about OP not actually wanting her daughter to clean, but to pay for the whole cleaning service. Don't get me wrong, I'd vote NTA too, but I understand why some people feel like her standards might be a bit too much. The way it sounds, you fuck it up once, you already lost whatever bucks, because cleaning it up yourself will not be enough, no matter what. She can enforce that rule on her own home of course, but it sounds like it's unnecesary (if treatable) stress for everyone.The daughter should have at least tried though, obviously.

[@pandytrashpanda5685]

I feel like a lot of Redditors are quite young, in a certain pro-shoes inside country and/or traumatised by parents with entirely unreasonable expectations. If someone walked all around my house in muddy shoes I'd be devastated, it's so much work to clean it properly in a whole house especially when it's wet prints that have dried down and stained the floor.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Where was daddy in all of this??? He must be a simpleton who won't stand up for his wife and is afraid of upsetting his adult child.

[@cl5470]

As an actual adult who has kids, OP is ridiculous and sounds like a Karen. Teens are dirty. Asking her to clean up is reasonable, asking her to pay for her Karen cleaning service is not. OP can't afford the service if it's this big of a problem.

[@Cjaj2]

OP claimed the step daughter ruined her house multiple times because she left crumbs on the counter and wet foot prints. Step daughter is in the wrong for not cleaning up but expecting her to pay $200 over that kind of "mess" is absolutely unreasonable

[@AndyyWithAY]

Small scale weddings can be amazing. You can have a beautiful elegant experience with few frills. People in the wedding party need to remove stress, not bring it. Get rid of Janet. She got her comeuppance though.

[@catandrobbyflores]

Mine had to be small because of covid and honestly, it was so much better than what we originally planned.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

If the OP hadn't been such a p*ssy, she would have dealt with Janet the FIRST TIME something arose long ago rather than waiting until her sister was literally breaking down. The OP sure did do a lot of bragging about how she can "handle people" and is the "Butch Lesbian" but rather than lying to Reddit, she should have been dealing with the problems. If I were the sister, I would dump Janet from the wedding and demote OP to an Attendant.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

To me, small wedding is just one person standing up for bride and groom. Of course, I'm in the very small wedding camp. Don't go into debt and stress for one day.

[@Obiwantuan]

Story 1: People who easily throw out insecure and controlling are easily the biggest cheats. It's not controlling to have some boundaries to protect your relationship and yourself, they have the freedom to walk away if they don't want boundaries.

[@Bijecarli]

Op2: I don't know why it's so difficult to respect another's household. Regardless of the OCD, it coets nothing, especially not hundreds of dollars to keep a place neat. If stepdaughter's 'friends', can't party without making the place filthy, then those aren't friends worth having.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Last I checked, if a mop and a quick wipe-down would've fixed this, that's not filthy. The daughter didn't turn the damn house into an episode of hoarders and I'm pretty sure the reason she's fighting OP so hard is because of the ridiculous assessment that she "trashed" the place. OP sounds exhausting to live with.

[@Noor-ns1vj]

The last story made me so incredibly happy

[@michamocha]

S2: It's like people read that she had OCD and shut off their brain. 18 is more than old enough to know how to clean up after themselves or to tell their guests to take off their shoes before entering the house. It's not difficult. It's so frustrating because one minute, reddit claims that teens don't no any better but the next, they blow their top off at the idea of making a teenager face the consequences of their actions. I'm livid that they really convinced Op that she's the problem and not the lack of respect from her step daughter. Wanting to make friends is NOT an excuse. They're all in college, they know how to be respectful in someone else's home and if they can't, she can hang out with them elsewhere.

[@khaavren3]

Story 1: you should have left him the first time he moved the goal post.

[@Kal_57]

She shouldn't have been with him in the first place.

[@RobertBishop-xt6yq]

Switch the roles and everyone would be calling him controlling, very Hippocratical

[@juliearmfield2634]

​@@RobertBishop-xt6yqsadly you're right and it shouldn't be like that.

[@jakeand9020]

​​@@RobertBishop-xt6yqIt's funny the boyfriend said she was insecure and controlling because that's literally what virtually everyone says about any guy in OP's position.

[@paden1865able]

Boundaries have to be defined and held from the very beginning or you're going to get trampled. If the boundary is broken, more than likely the relationship will be, too. Don't put up with things you aren't comfortable with.

[@LovesGaming37]

Story one: why date him at all? Its obvious he only wants to date the friend. He's not her's. It's just her turn

[@mgbell4917]

Im only a few years older than OPs stepdaughter, in my country it's not expected to take ur shoes off and i dont have OCD - yet id be cracking the absolute sh*ts for this. U bring ur friends into my house with shoes on, u can find a new hangout cause they're not allowed in my house again. The lesson: u respect my house or forget privileges like guests. Even houses where shoes are allowed inside, if ur shoes are visible dirty say muddy or covered in snow - u take off ur shoes. She's also 18, u clean up ur own mess.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The boyfriend's friend was never going to just be a friend. Otherwise he could have kept that boundary. Best thing for OP was getting out of their way and moving on without him.

[@madcatlady]

I must have OCD then too in spite of my untidy house because I cannot stand crumbs, fortunately the cats will eat most up before they attract ants 😸

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 1: I'm glad for her and respect the health outlook, even though she messed up. Yes, she saw exactly how he was early on and continued to date him for that long. I consider that messing up, because she _did_ see it early on.

[@jestersreign7530]

To be fair she did kind of bait-and-switch her. He basically pulled all the way back from his friendship until she was fully invested in their relationship. And then reversed it all. Feels more like he was being manipulative to make sure another girl didn't break up with him over his friendship. There are a lot of post where a person will have a friendship with someone that they're obviously in love with or obviously want to be with. But will go out of their way to have another relationship and keep that person around. I think they do that so that they don't have to feel lonely or to ease their pining for the person that they want.

[@dimsufferer9951]

@@jestersreign7530he was trying to be Ross Geller

[@boomlove3454]

To much redditors are judging op with her OCD and not the situation. Her standard shouldn’t be a factor here, she paid for someone to clean her house , her step daughter trashed so it is expected for her to pay her back. That’s it and it’s fair.

[@757Bricksquad]

“Her stepdaughter trashed it” - wtf footprints and crumbs is not trashing a house. OP should have made the step daughter clean up the mess and then maybe grounded for a week or some other punishment. But no, instead she demands FULL payment for the cleaning service even though, no she did not mess up the entire house. She doesn’t even talk face to face either. She fucking does it via a Venmo request. Then she doubles down threatening to stop paying her cell phone bill if she refuses to pay for the ENTIRE cleaning service. OP is the a-hole. Her step daughter is 18, while yea this is legally an adult, no they are no perfect humans. No shit your 18 year old is going to leave out a mess sometimes. This punishment from OP was insane and luckily she realized it.

[@faeb.9618]

reddit gonna be reddit. soon as there's an excuse for why op is overstepping or exaggerating according to someone else's standards they go insane

[@boomlove3454]

@@757Bricksquad wow if you think leaving nasty footprints and crumbs are not consider trashing right after someone PROFESSIONALLY cleaned your house. I don’t even want to see your room 🤮. And no, the daughter would not clean as good as the cleaner so it is fair she paid her back at least in installments and banning her friends from coming over

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

My thoughts exactly!

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@boomlove3454I have a terrible room and even I cringed seeing that! Like God, it's not your house so why tf would you intentionally do that?!

[@thecrebain6760]

I can't believe reddt gaslit that poor woman in story 2...

[@AndyyWithAY]

This isn't Seinfeld, not all people who had sex can or should be friends. You immediately knew they had a sexual history, he said her BF was ugly. What TF?? It was incredibly foolish for OP to bother dating this guy. He said before he wanted her but was too chicken 💩 to make it work. You don't need to try to date this guy. Doing so is a sucker's game and you're just going to lose and become more frustrated. Throw this one back, plenty of fish in the sea. You've shown him he can pummel your boundaries. He'll never respect you. Just leave. That's your only option.

[@missmax2492]

Oh definitely share this opinion but also HIGHKEY this guy's a whole ah. Actively set up a boundary cause he KNEW he was being off with this chick because OP didn't want to get involved in that mess only to pull back and guilt her later

[@MuDkipzCHancelLOr]

Straight male/female friendships are the foundation of destroying a society.

[@sonialinsey8083]

“It was incredibly foolosh for OP to bother dating this guy” Desperate people gonna desperate. She’s getting up there in age, probably watching everyone she knows get married or move in together. All the more reason not to waste time with this guy, though.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

It wasn’t really foolish

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@missmax2492Yep. OP's definitely better off without that trash. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠)

[@nexutus8073]

Story 1: The boyfriend does not want to be best friens with her he wants the option to persue her. I had once a partner that always nagged about boundaries and how depressed she was At the end she cheated with him and then went on to be in a relationship with him where they< cheated on each other constantly (which is a bit of karma) OP needs to get out of there before her boyfriend gets into an affaire.

[@AndyyWithAY]

So many people in these stories get told by their alleged partner wiv chest that the partner wants someone else and or/ they're not the priority. I'm always baffled by people who entertain these relationships. There's millions of people in this world better than this. And being single is infinitely better than someone like this.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah exactly! I totally agree! I literally could never ever even be attracted to someone like that. Like it is such a turn-off no matter what they look like or what good qualities they have, that whole situation is so extremely unattractive It gives me the ick, bad. I have a feeling the girl "friend" is going to purposefully drive off every single girl he dates, and purposefully do power plays like making him choose her over his partners while she continues dating other men 😂 she's just using him for attention and control. It's going to ruin his life and he has no one to blame but himself. He's literally 30 and he's acting like this 😂

[@catherinetiernan5888]

Your step- daughter should have definitely cleaned up after her friends. When my lot were hosting friends, it was my house my rules. They behaved or they go home, simple as.

[@StilltheAp0llyon]

OP said they didn't tell the daughter to clean up after the friends that left a few hours before because the daughter isn't as good at cleaning as the professional cleaners. I'd bet the OP is very hard to satisfy.

[@ceeshnia]

@@StilltheAp0llyon If the daughter had cleaned up after the friends left and before OP got home (OP didn't come home as the friend were there, she just found the mess), it would probably have been a non-issue, so long as the daughter properly cleaned (not hard, just takes more than a minute but less than 10 usually for footsteps and crumbs).

[@faeb.9618]

@@StilltheAp0llyon that still doesn't justify it. if you have a guest over and you're the host it's only normal to clean up after they leave if they made a mess, or would you just leave mud and crumbs everywhere after people left?

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@ceeshnia No Op said out right in the post even if the step daughter DID clean it OP doesn't believe she could clean it. But she never gives the stepdaughter a CHANCE to so how can she learn if OP doesn't give her the chance to?

[@owenfautley]

​@@Splatoon_KirbyI know people who when they clean up it is half arsed even in my own family I have had to clean something again because it was not done very well.

[@sunflowerlady2057]

Story 1 "platonic" my ass.

[@sunflowerlady2057]

Let me say...even if he doesn't want officially be with her. He still wants her.

[@carolroberts4614]

Definitely!

[@cheskydivision]

Op was tricked into a relationship..op should have walked as soon as bf said he couldn’t stay away from his “best friend “.

[@mweathers79]

S1: I love how when our SO set boundaries, they’re controlling, smh lol. How ridiculous. He clearly wants his cake and too eat it too. He wants to keep his GF and keep his friend in case he gets a FWB situation with the “friend”.

[@jackchop1576]

But swap the genders and you'd be calling him a controlling misogynist.

[@morphinpink]

​@@jackchop1576No? It would be the same thing lol.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@jackchop1576 not really 😂

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Why do I always see these “swap the genders”? We are talking about one particular story but somebody gets their panties all twisted up and take offense for the whole world! Boundaries are not controlling, they are there for a reason. If you want to feel safe and secure in your own relationship and there are people wanting to mess it up, then boundaries are put up. In this case the one wanting to mess it up is the boyfriend, who until he gets over his feelings for his ex girlfriend, has no business being in a relationship with another woman!

[@SirFailsalot91]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Reddit threads are often hypocritical based on what sex the OP is, being more harsh to guys than to girls and making excuses for a female OP while giving no wiggle room for a male OP - it's not rampant in every case, but it's common enough to point out, and thankfully there are more folks who don't buy into it and treat everyone equally.

[@macylouwho1187]

Whenever a partner pays way too much attention to the opposite sex (depending on their sexual orientation of course) while in a relationship with you-you can count on never being a priority for them. What that is called is “shopping around for a better deal than you.” They are exploring their options and not invested in you whether you like to admit that to yourself or not. We’ve all been there. I have too. My high school ex started chatting up another girl at a party and ignoring me in favor of her. This is how I handled it: I quietly slipped out the door, left, came back an hour later on the arm of another man because I’m that petty 😂. Laughing it up, smiling up at him, looking like I was having the best time with him. The ex flipped, suddenly he “cared”, funny how that works 😂. The two guys about got into a fight, I stepped between them. I said “in case you didn’t understand, me leaving and coming back with him was me breaking up with you. There’s nothing left to fight for.” Good call, too. He’s quickly grown bored with every partner he’s had his entire life, cheated on every one of them, had three different women pregnant and abandoned all of them. I am literally the only one who ever left him, he’s done all of the leaving his whole life. I just beat him at his own game, that’s all, and he was honestly flummoxed. He tried to get a hold of me any way he could-phone, handwritten letters, even showed up on me and my new husband’s doorstep after I had my husband’s baby. He absolutely didn’t love me. Not an iota. He only ever wanted what he cannot have, and if he gets it he no longer wants it. That’s all that is. And most people like this suffer from the same problem-“wandering crotch syndrome” 😂. If you meet one-RUN. RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Unless you like to be lied to and cheated on and always being last in importance, then that’s a you problem.

[@cheskydivision]

Anyone that brings guests over must clean up after their guests. Step daughter should at least pick up after.

[@jjr9792]

Story 1 - Op conducted herself with such dignity and class, and ultimately refused to compromise her boundaries or selfworth. BRAVO OP! 💯

[@whitneybennett4857]

If my husband had a female friend in his life that I know he had something with in the past and he told me he "needed" her in his life, I would've told him on the spot that either she goes or I go (if I didn't have proof they'd been intimate or that he had feelings for her during the course of our relationship).

[@janetdeloach8522]

Janet is the problem. Can you kick Her out of the whole event? This is your sister's wedding. Janet does not need to be Near the wedding...Tell your sister Everything that has happened. She derailed every plan that you made already. Janet Needs to Be Gone yesterday....Let your sister be protected from her bullying so called friend...

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Janet was A problem but not the ONLY problem. The other problem was the OP. She sure did a lot of bragging about how she could "handle" people and was a "Butch Lesbian" but I think she was the P*ssy Lesbian because she allowed everything to turn to sh*t until her sister was literally having a breakdown. OP should have stepped up and on Janet the very first time she stepped out of line. If I were the sister, I would kick Janet out of the wedding party and demote OP to an Attendant.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

"Financial abuse"is another term people throw around like confetti. Ceasing payments for a luxury for an adult who is not respecting the house, lying and being manipulatuve is not "financial abuse" ffs.

[@norman9076]

My mom... and now I... allow people to wear their shoes in the house.. we actually insist. My mom would always say "we don't walk on the ceiling here". Implying the floor was meat to be walked on. When it's dirty we simply wash it... that's it. No fuss no worries...

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

Story 1: Friends don't sleep with friends. You are dating a man who is taken OP.

[@xEPICxNESS]

I couldn’t imagine living with OCD, the internal struggles people go through everyday. I hope everyone gets the support they deserve ❤

[@AKASANJEEWA]

Story 02: to hell with OPs OCD issues. This is a grown adult. Her father and her mother failed to be competent perents.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. I don't have OCD and I'd be upset with dirty footprints in my freshly cleaned house.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Then clean it up or get Olivia to clean it up. Demanding Olivia pay for the cleaner that OP is already paying to come once a week is ridiculous and a power trip, imo. And OP already said that Olivia wouldn't be able to clean it to HER precious standards, so yeah, OPs the issue. I've lived with people like that and there's no winning with them. I feel sorry for her kids.

[@a_noelle8595]

​@khaleesireyna731 Olivia is the issue in this instance. At 18 y/o she is well aware of the house rules. She walked into a clean house with her friends. There is absolutely no reason that she didn't clean up after her friends left. Even if it wasn't done to OPs standards, she should have still done it. Cleaning up after you and your friends hang out is your responsibility. There's no version of this where she gets excused for not cleaning up when they were done.

[@maggpiprime954]

As someone who's worked as a housekeeper/cleaner, OP is _NTA._ OCD isn't even a factor here. Who on earth lives in a winter climate and thinks it's ok to walk around _any_ house with wet shoes? Also, lots of regions put down salt in winter, so there's that potential damage too. And food crumbs left all over a kitchen is gross. That's how mice and bugs move in. It's all just a matter of respect for someone else's home. And one's own home. At best, the girl is clueless, having not been taught better by her father/not observed skills from OP, with dumbass friends. At worst, these are not friends, and are using her for whatever. Which, seems like a stretch, but anyone with kids will notice that good friends who visit will observe the rules to keep your kid from getting in trouble, and bad ones will take every liberty and burn bridges behind them.

[@StilltheAp0llyon]

And the solution to the war crime of crumbs on the counter and footprints on the floor is to have the daughter wipe down the counters and mop the floor because it: 1. Actually resolves the problem. 2. Teaches the daughter to clean up after herself. Giving her a bill just teaches her that if she leaves a mess, she can just have someone else clean it up for her.

[@4swordsluver]

​@@StilltheAp0llyoneven if the step mom hired a cleaner after the daughter cleaned the cost would be significantly reduced too

[@maggpiprime954]

@@StilltheAp0llyon Agreed. And OP did come back to properly address the issue. But I do sympathize with the freak out. For someone to reach the age of 18 while living with a fastidious family member and still not get it, maybe the freak out was that last puzzle piece that was needed. Like, how long would it take our own selves, personally, to clue in on the household standards if our own families were blended at the same age (what was it, 14)? Myself, I think even my daydreaming butt would've noticed after a couple of weeks, with no instruction. A month, tops.

[@meimei51793]

Thank you! People kept on bringing up her ocd and it felt so irrelevant to the fact that an 18 year old walked around the clean house in wet shoes and made a massive mess without cleaning up like in what world is that ok?

[@Bonaduece]

​@@meimei51793 Also lied about it not being her and her friends. As if there was a believable alternative. "Oh, it was Dad, actually!" or "A pack of street urchins wandered in and made pizza and tromped around the house in dirty wet shoes, and I didn't have the heart to stop them," or possibly "The cleaners themselves left the place worse than they found it, what can you do?"

[@telinhajp]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both good health. Always! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 1. Dang, he got you emotionally invested and you cannot have him end this relationship. This friend and your bf is different breaking relational boundary. You are right to be concerned. Why? 1. He negated from the deal you and him made about the boundary, which was to cut her off. 2. Later he kept pushing this boundary to end, one step and another, to the point where she is to be his best friend. 3. He is uncompromising about his relationship with her and will rather loose you. You and he do not share the same views on relational boundaries. You should stick with your original stance with the boundaries. This relationship will not have a good future.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Mature, kind, and classy. Yeah! Love this.

[@rachel-in-the-208]

Story 2 You DON’T have to have OCD to not want people walking all over your carpets with dirty shoes (and it was snowing) and leaving crumbs all over the counters!! Do people really think it is “extreme” not wanting that … ESPECIALLY RIGHT AFTER IT WAS CLEANED?? 😡 13:30

[@tallyp.7643]

Hell, even my dogs know to not walk around the house with wet feet. I put towels down for them to step on and towel them off as best I can. Then they wait until I've put towels on their fave spots on the couch to catch any residuals before they dare jump up. I didn't have to threaten or anything, they learned (one of the only things I've been able to teach them as multi-rescues). If dogs can learn that, I'm sure an 18 year old can. Dunno why Olivia be okay with others in the house taking their shoes off only to step in cold wet carpet later. Eww. That daughter's so desperate to make friends she doesn't want to tell them any established rules in fear they won't like her. If they wanna enjoy a clean place to hang out, they gotta be clean in there themselves. Not an unreasonable expectation. Guess she thinks rules will make people hate her or something. If I found out later that there was a no-shoes rule and didn't abide by it, I'd be mortified and ask why nobody said anything. As someone afraid of making an ass out of themselves at someone else's house, I'd be rectifying that REAL quick.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S2: Why did Olivia not clean up after her friends? She definitely should pay the bill AND get a job. She's not a child.

[@D123-f9k]

Story 1: even if he doesn’t intend to ever do anything romantic or sexual with his friend in the future, OP is clearly not his priority and that is enough to break things off. Relationships with people change as you age and get serious with other people, having reasonable boundaries to protect the security of your relationship is a good thing. I specifically don’t text or call female friends in relationships super late or early to prevent even the appearance on impropriety and unnecessary drama with their boyfriends/husbands. He reminds me of someone who claims they can stop drinking or smoking any time they want yet get defensive and refuse to try when challenged to take a break.

[@rickraber1249]

Re OP with OCD. Here's the deal: Stop attacking OP for wanting a clean house. She doesn't need therapy as much as she needs this 18 yr. old kid to just take responsibility. All the kid has to do is tell her friends that A. we have a shoes off rule in this house, and B. before we leave, the kitchen needs to be cleaned up. There. That wasn't so bad, was it? If she wants this kid to act like an adult, point out that adults take responsibility for their own messes. And accusing OP of trying to keep her from having friends is one lame excuse that's only meant to deflect. Grow up, kid.

[@RyuClaudius]

why are they all so mad at the second OP when Olivia's friends are a bunch of slobs? they don't have the common courtesy of cleaning up after themselves.

[@Gymtoshi]

If a guy said he’d let go of us just to cross my boundaries, I’d say, alright, bye

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

In Hawaii you don't wear shoes in the house EVER!

[@majoraakatsuki3984]

If I made a mess after the house cleaner was there and didn’t clean it up, I would also get shit from my mom. She didn’t care if a slight mess happened before the cleaner came, but after it is mandatory to keep it clean. Girl doesn’t clean up to standards? (Bet she does it in a passive aggressive way of ‚i can’t do it right anyway’) Show her how to properly clean and make her do it. If it happens again, charge her the cleaning fee. She has to learn anyway as there’s no one who will magically clean when she starts to live alone.

[@Feralcottagecore]

She has a lot of self control. If someone breathes wrong at my little brother, I go apeshit.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 There is a no shoes rule which was ignored and they ALL left a mess, she should pay at least half of the cleaning bill since it was just cleaned. When I and my husband worked we had a service come in 2x a month it was nice , and when he left work he took over cleaning.

[@ArcanineEspeon]

After all the heartbreaking stories about golden children and scapegoats and husbands cheating with sisters, it is delightful to hear a story about sisters (not to mention parents too) who are protective of each other and have each other's back through and through.

[@Sparkfist]

That bit about Chris (Janette's SO) was great. 😂

[@ce731]

"Butch Fairy Godmother" ... Love it!

[@mbyerly9680]

Mean girl Janet found her happy place trying to destroy the wedding, and she almost succeeded. Good on OP.

[@hvymax]

Olivia needs to learn how to clean up after herself or pay the consequences.

[@StilltheAp0llyon]

There are crumbs on the counter and footprints on the floor, not food on the ceiling and holes in the wall. The solution is tell the daughter to wipe off the counters and mop the floor.

[@crem-crem4070]

Oh no I can see footprints from Olivia’s hooligan friends’ bare feet We need to deep clean the ENTIRE HOUSE!

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@crem-crem4070it wasn't bare feet, they tracked mud in on their shoes 🤷‍♀️

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@StilltheAp0llyonthe footprints are dirt from their shoes, man

[@StilltheAp0llyon]

@@rubymeaddle OP doesn’t say that. She just says footprints. The residue of wet shoes leaves footprints, not just literal mud. Even if it is literal mud, the solution is a mop.

[@SheenaReine]

so not wanting wet foot prints in the house means she should be institutionalized?! wtf that’s disgusting

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

S3- what to do with Christopher?!😅😂😅 TBF Janet made Christopher sound like her child, not her BF 😂😂 🤣

[@tallyp.7643]

probably why she didn't reply to clarify in the text--she realized what she wrote looked like and was finally a little embarrassed.

[@LordBison98]

Story 2: Some people in the comments are insane, JC. A young adult was a jerk, but let's pressure OP for hsr OCD instead of focusing on how stepdaughter sounded manipulative.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah because OP wants SD to clean up after herself SD claims OPs discouraging her from making friends like what 😂 that literally doesn't even make sense. This is why I can't even go to Reddit anymore. The Reddit comments are so hateful AND they get TA wrong just as often as they get it right. OP wasn't abusing her daughter because she asked her daughter to pay for cleaning service since #1 SD trashed the house and #2 didn't clean up after herself and #3 was too much of a pushover to even ask the people she invited over to please take off their shoes before coming inside. This whole situation SD is very clealry in the wrong. I would be extremely upset if I paid for cleaning service and there was mud all over the house the kitchen was trashed and my kid just walked out without cleaning up after themselves! Like wth reddit

[@teresaalspaugh1715]

I agree 💯

[@BruinPhD2009]

I absolutely agree with you. Stepdaughter is hardly brand new in this situation; she’s known the house rules for quite some time. Olivia has to learn that if the only way you can make friends is to let people stomp all over you and trash your house, THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS. My mother doesn’t have OCD, but you can best bet that if I trashed her house with a bunch of randos from school, I would have paid for it, one way or another.

[@slick8086]

I don't know what you heard, but the OP in story 2 is fucking insane. Considers her house "destroyed" because there are crumbs on the counter? Holy shit! She needs to be institutionalized.

[@vampire9545]

If crumbs and footprints "destroy your house" then you are in need of deep therapy, aka insane.

[@jennaramos1229]

I don’t understand the ppl saying the op in the cleaning story is insane. My mom literally had the same rule for me and my stepbrother to clean up after ourselves. When my stepbrother had friends over and they left wrappers and popsicles sticks in the living room they had a talk that he need to be the one to clean up after his friends if he’s gunna have them over. Why should the op clean up after the daughter when she old enough to clean up after her friends. You see stains and crumbs you clean it up !

[@abelink9229]

Story 2: who's with me suspecting that Olivia bragged to her friends about "help" (cleaning service) taking care of cleaning the house so they don't have to bother being neat and that's why they left crap everywhere?

[@shells500tutubo]

You got it! My kids were fortunate that I had a routine cleaner, but I informed the cleaner tat she was being paid by me and not my children, so she did not pick up their clothes or put away their toys. By the time they were Olivia's age they had better "home training" than Olivia, insecurities aside.

[@erickaennis2738]

Story 1 OP should've walked away. Why this guy didnt just leave her be knowing he is in love with his friend is beyond me. I never would've entertained dating him. Move on girl.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I remember the 3rd story! I actually read it with Lost Genre a while ago. And let me tell you, Janet is one nasty piece of work! 😡🤢 And I'm glad she got put in her place. Hopefully, nobody talks to her anymore. Good on OP for supporting and protecting her sister. I have an older sister who would've no doubt done the same for me. ❤😊❤

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

It's Waffle time! Love to all!

[@maggpiprime954]

🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗

[@Eleniel13]

I would have lost my shit if someone came in my house with snowy dirty boots. I do not have OCD and I can be messy, but dirt? Never!

[@enjolireyes643]

Story 1- as soon as he pulled back on his boundaries is when OP should have left. He showed you then that he really isn’t that into you!

[@alec5803]

Op is the real MVP for helping her sister. I can only hope that I get a MOH like her

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: NTA, why is everyone getting on OP? I don't have OCD but if I paid to have my house deep cleaned and then my stepchild did this? They would be paying me back.

[@toothless3835]

Last story: I started cracking up. "the best professor snape voice." I just hear Alan Rickman saying "You must be Janet."

[@shylavender]

OP1’s boyfriend sounds exactly like one of my exes when I was younger… The girl in this case was openly trying to break us up, too. She’d call me disgusting names and say awful things about me, told him lies about me so that we’d argue, and he would always ALWAYS defend her if I ever expressed any concern or discomfort about their “friendship”. He tried to make me be friends with her “for his sake”, too. But he was way too close to her for my liking and would always go to her house when the rest of her family were out. He also accused me of being “controlling” even though I clearly wasn’t. I broke up with him in the end, and it turns out he was cheating on me with her despite lying that they were “just friends”, and gaslighting me whilst he was cheating the whole time. Then after she found out we were over, she dumped him too, and moved on to some other dude who she married. They were both scummy. I’m so sorry for OP, I know exactly how that feels, and I’m glad they finally dumped that loser. I hope she will find someone who actually deserves her

[@CariAndLenny]

I’m a messy person and even I think OP with the OCD was completely reasonable

[@tallyp.7643]

Same here--the fact that she pays for a cleaning service to come in and do a fantastic job would make me worried about making messes more, especially if you know they had JUST COME IN and done the job beforehand. I always try to treat other people's homes better than my own on principle. Probably why I would get invites back, too.

[@jeaniebee3657]

story one...any girlfriend this guy has is a place holder till the "best friend" is ready to be more im surprised Noone has clued in on

[@RellaSemmone]

I don't have OCD but would have lost my ever loving mind if my kid did what her daughter did!

[@juanhaines7295]

Morning mark narrations

[@ArcanineEspeon]

27:15 It's 1 AM and I had my longest laugh in days at Janet's boyfriend needing a babysitter and not being able to entertain himself for two hours.

[@justagirl6761]

Wow.. Not wanting muddy melted snow footprints and crumbs in your house are "extreme standards" nowadays?