I Told Grandparents It's THEIR Fault I Don't Embrace My Culture r/AITA Reddit Stories

[@michal31131]

Story 1: It sounds like they want her to take care of the elderly grandparents in the future, because sons don't seem to do that, and the designated caretaker died.

[@subraemilie9501]

Not necessarily, in Korean culture it is up to the older son to be responsible for his parents in elder age and most of the hard work fall onto his wife. Still freaking shitty though

[@teragram38crows49]

​@SUBRA Emilie I'm half Korean myself and was taught by my mom that it was the oldest child's duty to care for their parents and elders.

[@jakeand9020]

The take she's supposed to be the caretaker doesn't make sense without knowledge of Korean culture specifically. I understand it's culturally a Patriarchal family structure. SOP for such is the eldest son cares for the elderly parents, possibly with financial assistance from younger family members if that's required to maintain their accustomed lifestyle without undo burden on his. In return that son also receives or is at least in charge of the distribution of any inheritance. Honestly I assumed michal31131 knew something I didn't with such a huge variance from the norm.

[@bangeryun94]

No, sons do take care of parents in Korea.

[@vidhead85]

That makes sense, as she's one of two daughters

[@Mewse1203]

Stpry 1: Nta but what the hell? So OP gets bled for her siblings bad actions because her "western values" rubbed off on them? How is that possible when, from whatbI can tell, she grew up exclusively in South Korea? WHAT western values exactly? She literally has only Korean cultural experience as far as I can tell. That's how little racism makes sense. Just because she's white passing, she's got "western values'. What a bunch of nonsense

[@2Ten1Ryu]

I totally agree. deep and blatand racism. that's why I would not give them a second chance if I was OP.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

Racism is built on stupid and twisted “logic”

[@25Erix]

@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 It's also built purely on assumptions that are not backed by the human genome in any respect. The only color that matters is red because we all bleed that color. When someone starting bleeding blue, then we can talk about a different race of human but until then, the only race that exist is Human. Skin tone is one gene out of 20,000 to 25,000. Skin tone and nose shape serve a biological function that dicate how well you're going to survive in any given climate. The paler you are, the better your odds of surviving in cold climates. But everything else assigned to skin tone (such as the separate race nonsense) is purely a human construct. It only exists because people WANT it to, not because it biologically does. Story 1 is one of those rare examples that show that, ironically, racism is one of the most indiscriminate things in existence and that it isn't a "white person only" problem. Too many people, especially in America, like to pretend that only white people are racists and brush racists along the spectrum under the rug.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

@@25Erix yep My entire Arab family believes you can’t be racist towards White People and they say actual racist shit. I don’t like to bring up the topic anymore

[@25Erix]

@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 yeah, that's them feeding into the victim complex.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: You can't continuously kick someone for years and then ask them to embrace you. That blow up was years coming. Not the asshole.

[@JLee-gm6jx]

This really is surprising considering how some asian countries view western qualities (fair skin, eye color, hair color) as a standard of beauty

[@andredunbar3773]

@@JLee-gm6jx I guess it depends on what part of those countries you visit/live in.

[@JLee-gm6jx]

I seem to notice it more with people who live in big cities

[@andredunbar3773]

@@JLee-gm6jx That makes sense, given that larger cities tend to have the most exposure to foreign people

[@Passions5555]

@@andredunbar3773 I think she said it is a rural part of southern Korea her family live in.

[@pansprayers]

As the only white passing Choctaw/Cherokee Freedman in my family, I completely understand OP's abdication. I live in Vietnam now, don't speak to my biological family (legally severed ties), and every time they reach out my biological family reaches out, my husband shuts it down. I'm happy not being a last ditch choice for them.

[@KCohere33]

I will never understand how people can be so cruel to a child when they have no control over their genetics.

[@pansprayers]

@@KCohere33 It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that I wouldn't ever be 'enough' for them. The *extreme* irony is that my first step-father's family - first generation Japanese immigrants - are more family than my biological family. I'm glad this OP knows her worth already.

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

But you know. And you can claim your birthright for your own satisfaction if that pleases you. But the point is that you would be doing it for you and not to appease anyone else.

[@rogerramjet6429]

@@KCohere33I'm currently 53 and been free from any of my family since 2010. Only normal one in the family is my youngest brother. Next brother and father are both narcisists and my mother is a bipolar psychopath. I'm high functioning autistic (we are all diagnosed) and because I am different, I was targeted and blamed for many things, I had nothing to do with. They even covered up, and lied about my mother's multiple attempts on my life. I do have witnesses too. However I've never been married and never had kids because of what my mother said to me one day. Verbatim - "I can't wait for you to have fking kids so I can Fk their lives up the same way you F--ked up mine" - my crime was being born. She also targeted my partners and fabricated stories about them, so she could have a go at them. Eventually, after many moments trying to end my life, I had enough and left them all behind at age 41. I was 4 years old when I got broken ribs, literally for asking for a glass of water on a hot day.

[@AzraelThanatos]

Pay attention to things there, I've heard a few situations where even completely cutting ties doesn't mean that they can't create some potential issues with your kids if you have set up guardianship or the like due to various laws.

[@pansprayers]

Holding your bladder for so long after being pushed that hard to hydrate by that BF can create SO many long term health issues, especially in women. Infection is an obvious issue, but over stretching a bladder that way can make it fragile, and can eventually lead to prolapse. Don't do this - trust me that the corrections for this issue aren't fun.

[@Mistfall254]

As someone with oab, I can say this is true, my numerologist said that I need to empty my bladder ever 2 hours, but that will very person to person always speak to a specialist, Yes I am on OAB meds meobetriq actually

[@pansprayers]

@@Mistfall254 I had to have a full POP reconstruction, with a partial cystectomy and sling, and part of my bowel removed due to being forced to hold it in too often, and the recovery found me in the CCU with sepsis despite doing everything I was supposed to. Unfortunately, when I initially complained, they tried to tell me that it was OAB, because the first 7 OB/GYN's I saw refused to do a standing pelvic exam (I was a Stage 3 almost 4 when one FINALLY listened), and kept telling my husband 'You might want kids' (we were 34/39 respectively and had three older teenagers) while he would tell them it's not his body and to do their jobs. I strongly encourage anyone with OAB to make sure that they get a standing exam for prolapse, because the symptoms are very, VERY similar.

[@Mistfall254]

Oof that sucks

[@pansprayers]

@@Mistfall254 sorry, reproductive/renal/urinary health are all something that I am very open and loud about my experiences with, because I wouldn't ever want someone else to have to go through what I did because a battery of specialists couldn't be bothered to do a simple, 30 second exam and get past the patronising BS that is rampant in the OB/GYN (and medical field in general) community. SEVEN OB/GYN's literally put their very personal desires and beliefs over my very essential renal system's health. If I can prevent even one spouse, parent or child from crying over their loved one who's catatonic in an IC/CCU over something so simple, I will happily lay my experience out for public discussion.

[@atinyevil1383]

Can confirm. I had bladder issues as a 2 year old because (for whatever reason) I refused to pee in a diaper. I had to take special medicine for it for about 8-10 years which then lent to light sensitivity with UV rays.

[@jessicadias5014]

I'm convinced the ex in the 2nd story was trying to make her wet herself. 1. There is no reason to hyper hydrate yourself right before a hike unless you're hiking extreme conditions. This was a beginner trail. 2. He refused to stop multiple times for no reason. 3. Acting like standing watch while someone goes to pee in the woods is some kind of rare occurrence that's emotionally traumatizing. All this tells me that he was intentionally trying to make her pee her pants and when she didn't he got mad that his master plan for the day was ruined. He didn't want to celebrate his anniversary with a hike. He wanted to celebrate his anniversary by trying out a fetish

[@ten5h1]

Yeah … it sounds like he was looking for a reason to get her naked from the waist down.

[@NoMoreHeroesAnymore1334]

And anyone who'd be manipulative about it like that is NOT someone to try a fetish with!

[@shadowstalker130666]

Yeah, fetish is fun, but not manipulated like this.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

If you want to try a fetish with your partner you need their consent, if your fetish involves a true lack of consent it’s a violation not a fetish

[@Sanquinity]

Hard to say if it was a fetish thing or not. But I did get a major feeling that he was doing this intentionally. Like, why didn't he just let her pee beforehand? And why was he so insistent on her drinking so much water? Sounds like a fetish thing, but not enough details to be sure.

[@quarterknight3572]

Story 2: "I will be marrying him" Edit: "I will be breaking up with him" Made me chuckle how a little bathroom break broke up a couple lol

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm glad for her that it did!He would always have ruined things for her, and he's dangerous too, because he has no regard for her health, because He Knows Best! Imagine being pregnant with this man!

[@michal31131]

She dodged a bullet, he sounds controlling

[@thedestroyasystem]

Yeah I laughed at that too. Makes me think that there’s something behind the scenes going on. Like, sure this wasn’t ideal behavior, but as an isolated incident could be explained. So there must’ve been a pattern of controlling behavior, or some fetish involved that OP wanted no part of. Also the fact that she was seeing him as the guy she wanted to marry after only 6 months… lol

[@rogerramjet6429]

@@thedestroyasystem I think he was luring her to somewhere out of the way then got annoyed because that other couple became witnesses. There's far more going on there than she was aware of. Luckily other situations happened to prevent her from being missing.

[@taralothoni2693]

This could have been deliberate by the bf by insisting she drank so much and not letting her stop to pee.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

My major point of outrage in the hiking story is that he planned an activity ONLY HE liked, doing nothing to prep/ease her into it (remember, he didn't pick the trail because it would be doable for OP, but because he liked the view, her capability to handle the hike had NOTHING to do with it), and THEN did all of the stuff that everyone else is pointing out: denied her needs, pushed her harder than she could handle, then resented her for the natural physical consequences of his behaviour. The fact is that he planned this whole thing to only be enjoyable for him from the start.

[@cyreneB]

it looks like calculated abuse tbh like he was trying to get herself humiliated in public and because it didn't happen as he planned he is a dick about it

[@jasonstrong9974]

agree .if you miss the sunset who cares need to pee stand there for her. and don't rush make it a nice stroll

[@megnotmegan1966]

You can’t tell me that, as a man,he hasn’t peed on a tree. What an absolute ass

[@squeakybb]

Story 2: NTA I used to live and work at a boy scout ranch with extensive hiking trails, and one of the jobs I did was take groups of kids from ages 6 to 17 on guided hikes during the day and sometimes overnight. We were trained extensively on how to properly take care of bathroom situations on the trail so we keep the environment clean and undisturbed, and taught that to the kids at the beginning of every new group week. I've personally peed outside on the trail more times than I can remember, and from what OP describes she did everything right that was safe for the trail/environment and herself. And I'm extremely skeptical of OPs boyfriend having such an issue with it if he really is an avid outdoors guy. Water poisoning is a huge issue with hiking because people will drink water to try and energize themselves when in fact they're not getting the sugars and electrolytes they need to keep hiking especially in hot climates, so the fact that OP said she felt like throwing up is a huge issue with me. OPs boyfriend should've let her use the bathroom before the even got on trail, which is also a really basic precaution for hiking. OP should be concerned.

[@djdomain]

Yep, bringing up the water poisoning thing seems like a big red flag when the ex-bf was an avid outdoorsman. The fact that he wanted to dissuade OP from relieving herself makes me think he wanted to humiliate her by making her wet herself, whether for spite or a fetish we won't know. Thankfully OP made the right call and dumped him.

[@gypsygem9395]

@@djdomain or he wanted her to get ill so he could "save" her

[@elizabethbush5293]

Bf is a dick. me and my friend have gone on hikes and had to pee in the woods before even when there were portapotties available bc they were unacceptably dirty or full (one had a literal turd mountain, the other looked like someone had bent over and sprayed liquid shite all over the entire stall.gross)

[@vidhead85]

Yeah, this is just a massive douchcanoe. If he didn't want her on the trail with him, he could've simoly said "It's a me thing. I appreciate you wanting to join but I want to go solo" But it seems he wanted to embarass her or something. I'm glad she's breaking up w that fker

[@jinxgiz3104]

So, OP's siblings are okay with their parents comparing them when it makes OP look bad, but can't take it when it's the other way around.

[@stephanien6237]

We have no idea how they acted when their parents made comparisons or if they were even present when these parents berated OP for her career choice.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@stephanien6237And if they weren’t there, how did they find out? And how did the parents spin the story?

[@AndyyWithAY]

The bf is completely the AH in the hiking story. I drink water, I pee. He kept telling her to drink water and kept trying to make her wait. I can't take anyone's feelings into consideration when I have to pee.

[@traviscochran6280]

Story 2. That guy is a pervert that wanted her to piss herself. He probably gets off on that.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed. Dude needs to find somebody else who’s into that, not force his kink on an unknowing gf.

[@GereldJohnson]

She had to pee he's a dickhead.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA And there it is: "if you kick me out, you know mom and dad will follow." Her parents have been enabling her bad behavior her entire life. Glad to see they finally STFU

[@owl7072]

I would have loved to see the look on her face when he called her bluff tbh

[@TheEmpressReborn]

Joke is code for "I will not accept responsibility for my actions".

[@carolroberts4614]

Was it mentioned how old the sister is? She sounds psycho when op's fiance had the talk with her! 'Laughing all the way through ' and then hysterically crying!

[@vidhead85]

Same here! I'm glad fiancé went scorched earth. Sister "Just joking" yeah no. I would've made the same ultimatum

[@cheergiver]

I know a 1/2 Vietnamese girl who is blue eyed and blond. She looks like her mother when they’re next to each other, but you wouldn’t guess she’s Asian when she’s with her dad.

[@samvoss6697]

Story 3: I'm so glad OP's fiance opened his eyes to his sister's actions and is taking OP's side now. Hopefully their wedding goes smoothly!

[@marybrown6756]

Too right! More people need to stand up to this “it’s just a joke” crap. Who the hell told these people that this kind of thing was funny to ANYONE.

[@lancerevell5979]

Those weren't "jokes", they were threats that she carried out. Go total no contact with her, she is toxic.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

I love that he told his family to shut up or they would be out too.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

What the hell do the parents think? Is actually telegraphing your threats their idea of a fun time? That chick has a lot of evil intentions. What do you think she'd be like around OPs kids? "Oh I'm infertile, I'll just poison your kids so we're even. What? It's a joke!" Hell nah. By that 2nd incident (the pool) she would've had to call Space X to find her teeth, because they'd be in orbit.

[@lisakaz35]

Story 1: the abusive family can try again in 15 yrs and actually mean it.

[@michal31131]

It sounds like they want her to take care of the elderly grandparents in the future, because sons don't do that, only daughters, and the designated caretaker died.

[@lisakaz35]

@@michal31131 Yep. Which is why it's a GFY moment.

[@Lillypop93]

"get a DNA test cause it's impossible for you to have blue eyes" wow hate when people are just ignorant and think they're not.

[@mianewman4151]

IKR! I literally did this 🤦🏾‍♀️ when I heard that comment.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

It's so silly! Even with just white people it's pretty obvious that eye and hair color don't follow a perfect D/r pattern. As an example, I have three cousins who are sisters who have brown hair, red hair, and very light blonde hair with three completely different eye colors (green, brown, blue). My brother has green eyes while mine are blue. My parents have dark brown hair but mine stayed light. All these color combinations come from somewhere in the family, but we didn't come out looking like perfect blends of our parents. Most kids don't. They might look a lot like mom or dad or grandma or an auntie or some combination of multiple people over a couple generations. Pretty much never a perfect blend of mom and dad though.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

Yeah like it's really ignorant I've seen a black girl with blue eyes People mistake 'rare' for 'impossible'

[@Lillypop93]

@@melodyharpole8272 If it was impossible Op wouldn't have blue eyes I think you need to realize what impossible means

[@serpentinewolf7085]

@@Lillypop93 Read the entire comment. I believe he mentioned it was impossible… if they were pure Asian (which is hard) and have many generations passed genes from another subspecies that came out. Pretty sure everyone’s a bit of a mutt now. So it makes sense genes come up.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA the part that really bugged menis when she said (basically) "I see myself being with him forever so that means transitioning to his lifestyle." You KNOW that's some bullcrap he had her convinced of.

[@serpentinewolf7085]

Yes and no. Depends. You need give and take if you’re this different from your partner. But he’s the absolute douche for how he behaved. I love the outdoors too but people gotta pee.

[@pansprayers]

@@serpentinewolf7085 right, but the way it read is, 'we're together, so eventually you'll just have to do what I want'. There was very little room left for combining interest or compromise BEFORE he drug her up the side of a mountain, over hydrated her, and put her in physical pain. Some people genuinely think that they have to absorb their partner's identity at the expense of their own, and it's particularly pervasive in patriarchal upbringings.

[@serpentinewolf7085]

@@pansprayers I don’t get it honestly. Just date someone closer to yourself. Also don’t think it was overhydrated it felt more like she had to pee so drinking anything is painful XD But he failed at spreading the joy of the woods to someone else.

[@carolroberts4614]

Didn't he just! Pouting in the campervan sounds more fun! As long as you have a book in your pocket!

[@pansprayers]

@@serpentinewolf7085 it's about being raised with the beliefs (if it's all you know, it's all you know) and/or being love bombed by an abusive partner who holds those beliefs, only for them to finally flip the coin. By then, esteem is so low it takes a long period of time to repair it - much longer than it did to tear the person down. It's a large chunk of an abusive relationship. As far as the situation leading to this, the physical symptoms she described point to over hydration, aided by pre-existing lack of bladder space. Nausea, acute bladder/abdominal pain, anxiety, and the large amount of water he kept pushing her to drink all point to over hydration and retention due to over administration. It shouldn't ever be painful to urinate, you shouldn't ever be on the verge of having an accident due to overstress, and a healthy adult shouldn't ever urinate more than 500 mL (32 Oz) at one time (even that capacity can permanently cause damage if done too often - I had to have reconstruction due to too many episodes of being forced to hold it, and it's particularly harmful for women, based on the construction of our anatomy). I'm actually surprised that she didn't lose her balance, causing a bigger problem. These are all things that properly trained hikers, medical professionals and dieticians are trained to spot, because throwing your electrolytes off to the point of nausea can cause seizures, and retaining urine for an extended period like this can cause nasty infections. This dude was toying with both her mental and physical health, and he knew it.

[@jtilton5]

I gotta be honest, With Story 1: I spent only one year in South Korea, and I grew to despise the place because of how I was treated by others. Luckily I was able to leave and have spent the last 15 years living in Thailand, I have a wife, friends, and family now. OP has no obligation to return to the family that abused, mistreated and used her as the scapegoat for all of their frustrations.

[@janjanl1812]

I don’t even need to stay in Korea to hate that place because I used to have lots of Korean colleagues and they were the nastiest, most arrogant, rudest, racist blood-suckers.

[@mothertrucker936]

S1: NTA. You can push someone so far. You were young and couldn’t defend yourself. You’re now strong and brave. They deserved the tongue lashing. Adults behaving like idiots towards a child are not deserving of any children. Grandma cried cause she knows that you won’t be taking care of her which is what is expected of the eldest. She can work her fingers to the bone cause she’s not worthy of any kindness from you. Your father falls lower on the ladder which isn’t saying much for this massive AH. Move on love, they have their cultural ideals and their feet firmly planted in them. Proven by the years of abuse. They might change for a moment, maybe an hour, a day, but the old them will quickly crop up at the most minuscule of offense from you and you’ll be back at square one.

[@Mkay999]

I don’t get how people can be so hateful to children. They want love and to please and are so cute. :( first story

[@vidhead85]

Some people are just bullies

[@itrasheditgood]

Yeah. The bf was a douch, he claims that OP didn’t put his feelings in consideration, when the reality is that he never put hers in consideration. First off, sane and normal people intentionally stop at the rest room before well any adventure really. It’s a matter of getting setting up your body before any kind of activity to ensure that you are going complete the task at hand without immediate interruption. Second, why the flip was he forcing OP to drink a ton of water. While it is a good idea to bring water, most people just drink as needed because that is what their bodies require. However, if you chug a bunch of water while already with a full bladder, it will just make you need to go pee that much quicker. Third peeing in the wilderness is not a sin, sometimes it’s quite necessary, I agree that the couple who came across OP didn’t make a fuss as it is something that is natural, they understood that there was no magic to bring a toilet to OP. I really don’t understand the bfs attitude, it’s like he’s ashamed to be hiking with a girl or something. Maybe he’s secretly in the closet, because none of this should have triggered him.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Others suspected he set this up to make her piss herself. Which honestly makes the most sense of all the theories I’ve seen so far. Gross as hell, but people are weird, man. (edit just to clarify: it’s gross bc he was trying to make her do it without her knowledge/consent, I’m not kink shaming)

[@Mr.Goldbar]

Story 1: NTA. My Korean friends would say these grandparents are a disgrace to Koreans. They abused OP and didn't even let her embrace Korean culture, how did them expect that she'll suddenly embrace the culture they didn't allow her to. I'd also say as I believe in karma that sister's death is the punishment for the abuse Story 2: NTA. He ruined the hike himself by prioritizing on the sun's place in the sky over OP's genuine needs Story 3: NTA. Sister's constant irrational hostility towards OP made her lose the right to be invited at all. Fiancé is the asshole for prioritizing his sister over OP, that was a major red flag. However that red flag was painted green when I saw the update, best and most unexpected update ever, marry that guy! Story 4: NTA. Every job is a real job

[@brigidtheirish]

1. Perhaps it's karma, but I wouldn't call her death deserved. She was just a kid and had time to change if she hadn't died. Her taking part in the bullying makes sense because *everyone else* was bullying OP or, at best, letting it happen. Man. I get that people can be racist, my great-grandparents had to elope because, to quote my great-great-grandma, "He doesn't have family, he's Irish." 2. Rule number one of going on any trip lasting more than a few minutes: go to the bathroom before getting in the car. I'm also concerned about how much water he was pushing her to drink and him being *angry* about her having to pee outside. What feelings was she supposed to consider? Like the one commenter said, peeing outdoors should be *normal* for him! I've peed outside before. It's not that big a deal so long as you can get some privacy. He could have and *should have* stood to block the view from the trail *like she asked him to.* I wonder if he really is as avid an outdoors-man as be claims. 3: Fiance is *delusional* if he thinks a warning will accomplish anything. Also, OP didn't *imply* anything. She straight up *stated* that SIL won't be in the wedding. And for *good reason.* Generally, ultimatums are an asshole move, but the fiance kinda backed her into a corner. *SO* glad he finally turned on his brain! 4: Agreed! When I was in tech school, I'd overhear my classmates complain about working at Walmart. Not because the job was hard or the pay was bad, but because they wanted 'real jobs.' When I worked as a housekeeper, my high school age coworkers would talk about how they couldn't wait to graduate and get 'real jobs.' They should be glad to be *employed!* With my disabilities, holding down a job for longer than a couple months is next to *impossible.* Just *getting* a job isn't far behind. More people should watch Dirty Jobs and learn to appreciate all the work that goes into making modern life possible.

[@cynniminnii]

The sister was only a 12 year old child and didn't deserve to die for her parent's and grandparents' abuse, and she wasn't even old enough to start legally making her own decisions... I do not fault her for her behavior towards OP either. The only people who should have been punished are the dad and the grandparents, not the child.

[@Mr.Goldbar]

@@cynniminnii @brigidtheirish The sister didn't deserve to die, but the grandparents deserved to see their granddaughter dead

[@Mr.Goldbar]

@@brigidtheirish agree on everything!

[@olly2027]

@@brigidtheirish I loved that show.

[@mero.856]

If I was OP in the 3rd story, if my fiance didn't open his eyes, I straight up would have told him "Fine, invite your sister. But if she shows up in white, I'm saying 'I don't'."

[@RedPandasCanDance]

I was mentally and physically abused for 16 years by my dad's parents. Once I got free I never looked back. It's been 10 years since I left. So I totally get it. There is nothing for you anymore and they don't deserve a relationship with you.

[@NoMoreHeroesAnymore1334]

Story 3: She's destroyed your property and assaulted you. That's enough "next times" already. Bullies and narcs always are "joking" when they get told off. Get her out of your life.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Eventually she's going to 'Play a Joke' that's going to lead to her having charges filed against her.

[@elijames2100]

story 2: that’s…that’s a fetish. i will not be convinced he wasn’t trying to force her into a fetish scenario for his own satisfaction. not letting you go prior, forcing water on you to the point you’re bursting and feel like you’re gonna puke, (when, in reality, you don’t need to be goaded into drinking water when HIKING bc it’s physically strenuous enough as is, you’d naturally reach for your water enough on your own) taking his sweet time walking back down and comforting her when she’s saying “i’m going to pee myself” instead of rushing her to a bathroom? i would bet physical, real money he was purposefully trying to get her to pee herself and got pissy (ba-dum-tss) when she just squatted behind a rock instead. don’t force your fetishes on your partners people, it’s weird and not cool.

[@Jiminphoria]

My thoughts exactly. Why else would he force water on her otherwise when he knew she needed to go?

[@thedestroyasystem]

Exactly my thoughts. Kinks are fine, but consent has to be involved. All his behaviors point to this being purposeful.

[@crowdemon_archives]

​@@F40PH-2CAT what, piss kink can work out fine as long as it's consensual...? Unhygienic, but eeeh, I've seen worse. 🤷‍♂️

[@jboy804]

@@F40PH-2CAT Kink-shaming is not fine. Kinks with consent is more than fine. BTW as to Story 2: Either a shame/pee fetish (non-consenting) or trying to assert control over his woman forcibly by shame. Inclusive use of or here.

[@Because-rt8qs]

But why doesn't he act happy about it? Unless it's also a fetish bullying someone. I think maybe he's just a mediocre idiot with extreme confidence who wanted to show his knowledge of the "right" way to hike. Like my brother would run out of gas because he wanted to prove he knew the "right" time to get gas. Some people are just AHoles.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Special Education educators are GEMS! Hate it when people say educating children at any stage isn't a real job need their heads examined! How else did get Johnny get to where he is? Hmm?

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#4 NTA, OP gave back as good as they gave. They brought the siblings into the convo. Parents are massive AH for going to the siblings and telling them what was said.

[@digitalharmony26]

If he was mad you rushed him along? Well, had he let you take two minutes to pee, you could have walked as slow as he wanted. Jeez. Is this his sick way of trying to get you to break up with him? Because that’s sure what’s gonna happen if he’s not careful. Tf?

[@owl7072]

Story 4: "YTA for dragging your siblings into this" Op didn't drag anyone into this, the parents did by comparing them to their siblings and telling them to be more like them and "get a real job". The siblings were already a part of this, and I'm pretty sure they're only pissy now because OP isn't the emotional punching bag and scapegoat for their parents anymore. They seemed perfectly content with staying silent on their golden child pedestals as Op took the brunt of their parent's criticism.

[@carolroberts4614]

I completely agree! I think they just let her take it all, while happily bathing in their golden glow!

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

That first comment annoyed me so much. Yes those siblings should absolutely dragged into it. OP was simply statinf the facts. They told OP to keep her mouth shut. And who would have defended her against the parents, the good-for-nothing siblings? Doubt it.

[@owl7072]

@@j.j.juggernaut9709 the first comment going "I hope they don't feel less than because of what you did" had me going 😃!? like, man I hope they don't feel less than either but it's not Op making them feel like that, it's the parents

[@robertx8020]

And NOBODY 'forced ' the parents to tell their other kids what OP said!

[@robertx8020]

@@j.j.juggernaut9709 That's reddit for you! Some of these 'we're so good' AHs will ALWAYS pull the 'YTA card' no matter what you do and say, you should always have done 'something else'

[@KE-hr4sb]

Story 1: Genetics are tricksy hobbitses: My mom has tan skin, almost-black hair, and dark brown eyes. My dad has dirty blond hair and brown eyes. I was born ghost pale, with white-blond hair and blue eyes (yes, both my parents have brown eyes). It happens. Good on OP for refusing to allow the abuse to continue once she got out. NTA. Story 2: NTA, and be glad you did this now, because he's abusive and this is not a man you want to marry. "He wanted his feelings taken into consideration"? When he refused to take yours into consideration? More like he wanted you to just do what he said when he said, how he said. Story 3: NTA. It stops being a "joke" (which is a bs excuse anyway) and becomes assault when it turns physical. "If you kick me out you know mom and dad will follow"? Aaaand, we see how sister got this way: because she's the golden child, and parents enable her.

[@arabelleproductions3682]

Same experience. Moms also has tan skin and black hair, brown eyes. My dad has pale skin, brown hair, and green eyes. All three children has brown hair (with the same consistency as dad too), pale skin, and green eyes. We looked to everyone that we were the kids that my mom was babysitting rather then her own children (didn’t help that my mom looks like a teenager when she’s in her 40s)

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Oh hi, Mark! I'm currently doing laundry in my bathtub cause my washer gave up the ghost. Stirring it with a big stick to agitate it makes me feel like a gondola pilot. Much love! (THAT'S AMOOORRREEEEE 😜)

[@MarkNarrations]

Lol! The image you just gave me is hilarious! Sorry about the washer though 😊

[@leilagotspaz]

Funnily enough, I’m filling a tub to take a bath myself. Good luck with your laundry, lol!

[@der23]

Lmao I was imagining the scene with Charlie's mom from Willy Wonka xD

[@DemonicAngle15]

I did this exact same thing last week since my washer died, buy I was stirring it cackling like a witch and chanting over it

[@athenathejoyfulshaman8727]

I've been washing my clothes sheets and towels in the bathroom sink for years

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 4: NTA. Parents were angry that OP didn't choose the life they wrote for her. Imagine the look on their faces when they found out OP's worked out better than theirs!

[@D123-f9k]

Story 1: Its hard being mixed and being rejected by half "your people". I'm fortunate my family was never like that, but I've felt a measure of that pain with peers.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Story 1: they're only "remorseful" now because their favourite died Story 2: with the final line, makes me wonder if the commenter mentioning a fetish was right Story 3: Sounds like the sister's threats of "What if I'm not?" And attempted emotional blackmail was a wake-up call for the fiance Story 4: hopping on your point, Mark it's probably a "keeping up appearances" thing. Like "we can't have a child that does that for a living, what would the neighbours think?" Kind of thinking.

[@Swirllies]

Oh thank god that girl broke up with her bf. This girl mentioned she had to pee, he brushed it off and then proceeded to push her to drink even more water. And then he has the audacity to be all mad that she was about to pee her pants and rushed the view.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: NTA. Your boyfriend pushed you to drink so much water to the point that you needed pee. Half way you told him that you needed to pee. You did take his feelings into consideration, HE didn’t take OP’s feelings into consideration.

[@threeducks157]

That first story made me teary eyed... there was a small part of my family back in Mexico that treated me like crap dude to my weird looks, my dad comea from a Korean/Mexican family snd my mom even though she was born in Mexico she is 100% European as grandad is German and grandma was Spanish so im pale white and have blonde hair and very very weird eyes, they are basically brown and green but they arent the regular way you see often rather the colors are separated into an umbrella like patter so o e stripe brown one green. They treated me like a freak, but thankfully they were the minority and the rest of my family shielded me from it.

[@LORDOFDORKNESS42]

#1: The nail that sticks out, gets hammered down.' Except... well, sometimes the hammer breaks first. Good riddance too bad rubbish, honestly. That family sounds awful, and local culture is just a freakin' excuse.

[@MarcelaElviraTimis]

Or the nail bends while you're hammering😅

[@crowdemon_archives]

​@@MarcelaElviraTimis hate it when it happens lol Also sometimes the nail decides to YEET out instead just because you hammer it a little bit wrong. 😅

[@victorvaldez8869]

Story One: While the Dad's side of the family might feel bad, "too little, too late" is a legitimate response to being excluded from everything that side of the family did for 15 years, especially everything culturally relevant. Story Two: Good move on breaking up with the BF by OP. A sunset lasts significantly longer than a trip to the bathroom so not allowing it at first is a HUGE AH move. Story Three: Before the update I came to the conclusion that the sister has done this multiple times & the expectation, so no reason not to expect her to do it again. IF OP were to go through with the wedding, and this is a BIG IF, explain to fiancé that if she pulls the white dress stunt she gets thrown out of everything, & if she pulls the wine stunt it's immediate annulment & break up. If a marriage is joining together of two families does OP really want to be tied to this level of crazy? The comment of "What will she be like around the kids?" is SUPER valid, as she seems like a hyper-toxic bully so if you husband won't cut her off for bullying OP would he protect his kids or say "that's just how auntie is," while his 5 year old wails over the destroyed presents & birthday cake at his party? After the update seeing as the sister's plan is now to socially attack the couple for not inviting her, let EVERYONE know why she isn't invited, how she's destroyed OP's expensive purse before, & attempted to destroy a beloved heirloom, plus the "jokes" she made about trying to destroy the wedding, LET EVERYONE KNOW SHE'S LYING IN THE BED SHE MADE. Story Four: I think that OP needs to cut their family out again, maybe OP should apologize to bringing to light that they are making more, but remind them that the parents did first, then suggest that they go No Contact as OP does again too.

[@trainerlesseevee478]

The hiking story had me like 👀 sounded like a fetish thing and he WANTED to see OP pee herself. Idk maybe not and I'm just weird lol

[@wmdkitty]

No, I got that vibe, too.

[@justine8387]

@@wmdkitty he got angry when she didn't pee herself.

[@SeraphsGenisis]

Story 2: what's worse is that she can't hold it as long as he can. He has no room to speak about holding pee. It's very hard for women to hold in pee compared to men. Dude is a walking 🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@rogerramjet6429]

How nice of you to make assumptions about all men as if we had some magic Box of tricks and don't need to pee frequently. I've gone 13 times today in 12 hours, and I've drank less than 2 litres. I know how many times because for health reasons, I mark it down on a whiteboard or note pad, every day.

[@intersectionsprettyboy1209]

​@@rogerramjet6429 Shut up. Where did you read it that?🤦‍♀️

[@renee0_0]

​@@rogerramjet6429 Calm your tits dude.

[@neeciedgm]

@rogerramjet6429 I can see this was a triggering comment for you, but due to your medical condition, as a man, you ARE an exception. Biologically, men in general (ie-healthy, no aggravating medical conditions or abnormalities) have much better control of their bladders because they have a long urethra (around 20cm). Women in general (ie-healthy, no aggravating medical conditions or abnormalities) have a very short urethra (around 2-3cm). This purely biological difference between the genders means that, mechanically, women have a harder time remaining continent than men, because they have far less muscle to enable them to hold in urine when the bladder becomes full. While it sucks that you have a distressing medical condition, it’s not fair or reasonable to take offence at someone describing basic biology.

[@benry007]

Story 4: If my parents paid for my siblings college but not mine, despite me doing a worthwhile degree then them sending me the withheld money would be one of my conditions for resuming contact. A good way to keep toxic people out of my life.

[@ArcticWolfGod]

OMG story 2 is like nothing but red flags around, it's like sirens are going in the background as I was listening to it. The way the boyfriend treated the OP and especially the way OP talked about herself, so glad it ended in divorce.

[@ipsitamazumdar4849]

While controlling abusive jerks are a major part of these stories, never before have I heard about a man who’ll want to control his partner’s physiological bodily functions, all in 6 months time.

[@ViridianAubergine]

I just wanna say that I'm super glad Mark is going over OP comments since that's usually where juicy details come to light

[@maniaemagna]

Story 1: NTA. To the comments saying OP couldn't be related because of their blond hair and blue eyes. That is not how genetics work. If it did there would be no such thing as conjoined twins.

[@ettinakitten5047]

WTF do those two things have to do with each other?

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 2: OP warns him multiple times, yet he ignores it, only concerned with HIS wants. Then OP reaches their limit and takes matters into their own hands. Should OP have refused earlier or insisted more? Sure; but he wasn't going to listen. He wanted what he wanted. I would have just walked away and left him. OP should never go anywhere with him again, since OP's needs are clearly not important to him. Was he trying to get OP to wet themselves, or was he creating a situation to cause an argument? Is he looking for an out making OP the bad guy? NTA

[@jessicadias5014]

Given the vague one line update by OP I have a gut feeling he actually was trying to make her wet herself and she finally caught on.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@jessicadias5014 Now I want to know! Lol

[@vulpixle9659]

Kinda sounds like he was trying to fulfill a fetish think about it he had OP drink a lot of water before the hike then when OP said they had to pee he told them to push on and continued to have them drink water with a full bladder so yeah I’m pretty sure this was a fetish kinda think and he’s just salty that he didn’t get to see OP wet themself

[@canadalovesanime3137]

@@vulpixle9659 Creepy AF! It's good thing she dumped him. It's not even healthy to hold it that long.

[@charlottewalnut3118]

To be fair she should’ve just found a tree I know it might be insensitive as a guy but like it or not women Can P outside just as much as men can hack I’ve had to shit out in the woods before and guess what it’s not hard

[@stephanien6237]

I SO want an update on the crazy/toxic SIL being uninvited to wedding story! Part of me wants to hear that crazy SIL showed up and was blocked by security for entering the wedding, threw a fit, and was taken away by the police for disturbing the peace-all while the OP and her husband got married without knowing this was going on! 😂😂😂

[@2swordsramires843]

Isn't it wonderful when we get to see op use thier hate. Thier anger and thier fear.. now destroy them. DO IT!

[@thedestroyasystem]

Is this a Palpatine reference? If so, very nice

[@2swordsramires843]

@@thedestroyasystem and or duku.. however do it is totally Palp.

[@dune3001]

Story 2: I never heard of anyone EVER being upset over someone peeing while hiking. Like, me and my friends do this all the time (hidden from sight obviously). I have seen people peeing by accident lots of time, you just don't look at them. Bonus, during an absolute maddening traffic on a rural road (the only way to go to the seaside at the time, took about 8-9 hours of bumper to bumper traffic) people were opening their car doors and peeing between them , and my family did this too. I wonder how that guy would have reacted to that.

[@Devneek]

Hearing story 1 and the comment about people saying it's impossible to have blue eyes, like did they not take any sort of biology and do the box for genetic recession in elementary? Or the studies on how sometimes just because a trait is recessive doesn't mean that it won't come out in the offspring as kids? Like we studied traits in almost every year of science up until high-school in my city so I'm astonished at the ignorance for that one it kinda threw me for a loop tbh

[@mothertrucker936]

Sil spilling wine on wedding dress: NTA and FINALLY a man who steps up for his bride to be. I actually would have her deposit money that would be my guarantee that if she tried anything at all, including tripping to gain attention, that money would be ours.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

OK, that first story had me angry on that girl’s behalf. She literally cannot help how nature decided to mix her genes! It is good to hear that her father and his family owned up to, and apologized for being so beastly to her for the first half of her life, and it sounds like she’s doing what she needs to, to take care of herself. NTA! Second story, NTA. Listen to the language that OP is using tells me a lot about her past history. Being bathroom shamed sucks big time, and it sounds like she’s been dealing with that for a very long time. I was glad to see that final little edit about her breaking up with the uber hiker boyfriend, that hike seemed to be all about him, and I have a feeling that was one of many stories that are mostly about him doing stuff for him. Third story, wow! NTA! It’s weird that the fiancé is asking if OP is hearing herself, yet is totally and utterly dismissing what his sister is doing. Seriously, just how badly does his sister have to escalate things before he takes her bad behavior seriously? She tried to push his fiancé into a pool to ruin her dress for crap sake! And then she straight up says she’s going to wear a white dress and spill wine on the bride?!? Initially I was getting narcissist vibes from the sister but now I’m thinking it might be more serious than that… There is a big difference between jokes and threats. I was glad to hear that he finally stood OP, and that they have security for the venue. Because how much would you like to bet that this beastly person would think it would be an excellent ‘joke’ to crash a wedding she was uninvited to… Fourth story. NTA. The parents made such an issue with how much money she was making, they were pretty much asking to be set straight. It might surprise people how much a nanny can make. Much less a nanny who takes care of special needs children and lives on site with the family. It sounds like the OP is doing it right, and that the parents are the assholes of this story for a few reasons. Not only did they try to job shame her, after she put the verbal kibosh on them, they then went on to job shame her sister and brother!

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: *NTA* They only value OP because they don’t have any other grandkids. She tried to be as Korean as possible to get that side of her family to love her but they excluded her from everything and even told her to stay in her room and not celebrate any Korean holidays with them. STORY 2: *NTA* There’s no amount of comforting that can stop someone’s urge to use the bathroom. If you gotta go….you gotta go. And there’s a limit to where if the bladder gets completely full all floodgates will open and you will be yourself uncontrollably. Also the boyfriend kept pushing his girlfriend to drink more water? Drink water when you get thirsty, there’s no need to go up water every few seconds while you’re on a hike. Now is that a good way to make sure you run out of water quickly but will put you in a compromising position where you need to take a leak. He wanted his feelings to be taking to consideration when his girlfriend desperately had to use the bathroom? Maybe OP should occupy their bathroom if they only have one for as long as possible and ignore her boyfriend request to use it no matter how badly he needs to go. Maybe then he’ll understand how she felt and he can stop being a dick about “his favorite trail being ruined“ Glad to hear she’s breaking up with him, can you imagine them having toddlers and a tall is really need to use the bathroom and daddy won’t let them because his feelings are being taken in consideration? STORY 3: *NTA* She sounds like a petty jealous brat. She constantly jokes about how she’s going to ruin your stuff, foreshadowing, and then she attempts to do it because she’s jealous you have nicer stuff than her. STORY 4: *ESH* Since when is childcare not a real job? I wanna heard the “real job“ line I was voting OP to do something like art since a lot of people say creative industry jobs aren’t real jobs. The parents suck for their rude views on OP‘s job and OP sucks for dragging their siblings into drama they had nothing to do with them. Also supply and demand, there are plenty of jobs like construction, sewage work, and childcare that are plenty in demand right now so it makes more sense for people to go into those fields if they want to make a decent living. It is economy no one‘s provision up to work their dream job no matter how hard you work to be worthy for that position. There are some people that do get “acceptable majors“ and they’re bagging groceries at Walmart because they can’t get a position either because there’s some type of hiring freeze or the position has a bunch of weird stipulations that make it seem like you’re paying half your paycheck to the company in order to have that job. Like apparently some places they don’t have full-time employees they just rotate out there part time employees. I can’t imagine jobs at places like that pay decently.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

I'd like to add drinking excess water and not going to the bathroom when needed killed a woman

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

@@MiraTheWarlock not to mention holding in urine for so long will definitely give you some kidney disease.

[@andredunbar3773]

On story 4, OP's parents are the ones that brought OP's siblings into it to compare the career fields the parents find acceptable.

[@novabrilliant4510]

Just having a cup of coffee and waffle goes perfectly with it. Thanks Mark

[@MarkNarrations]

Enjoy Nova 😁❤

[@Tionois]

Story 1: My jaw dropped to the ground when OP wrote she had been excluded from Chuseok celebrations, that's a major family holiday comparable to Christmas or Thanksgiving. NTA in the slightest. Story 2: NTA. Peeing outside is part of hiking. If boyfriend is embarrassed waiting around for his girlfriend while she's relieving herself, he's not equipped to have a girlfriend.

[@BraveryWing26]

I always love it when the abusers and enablers are the ones crying after being called out. Get out of there FIRST OP!

[@heathermiller5765]

Story 1: "I am white passing. I don't even look Korean" I feel you there, so am I. Except I'm American and Filipino. I understand the frustration of being both and not looking like it. Anyone else know this feeling or is it just me? I know it's petty but something that stuck with me growing up

[@KuroAlis]

S4: NTA, op got rightly angry at their parents, if parents said some shit to the siblings and siblings feel bad about their earnings, that's not ops fault. Simple as that to me. Think it should be easy enough to talk it out with siblings if they love each other.

[@tinaclarke704]

I did a fist pump when he said she said "I will be breaking up with him" hiking guy....YES!

[@NeroTheDarklord]

The unexpectedly positive turnaround of story 3 from the future husband made me realize something. My father always got away with his awful behavior. No one would ever stand up to him and my mom would always cowardly take his side, even against her own children. Living like this, being to do anything against the nearly daily verbal abuse was unbearable. Now that I am out and feel fully confident that what he's doing is wrong, as well as being ready to burn that bridge, I'm going looking forward to confronting him and giving him an ultimatum that he better start behaving around me or he'll never see me again.

[@huinismith]

Story 2 sounds like a torture session with a nice view.

[@badkitty4922]

Listening with phone under pillow, still. Very happy for new upload. Much Love, mate!💖💖😘😘👍👍🐾🐾

[@SpiderRiderKya]

story 2: So, I've been camping and hiking before and love it and, you don't just, guzzle down a shit tone of water *before* the hike. If anything, you do it while hiking when you feel thirsty, that's why water bottles exist! And for a 3 mile hike at that. His insistence on her drinking so much before is just weird.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

Good for OP. I listened to my parents in regard to a "real job." I now work in the legal field, do well financially, but am totally burnt out and somewhat depressed. if I could go back in time, I would have ignored their ignorant request.

[@cynicalrabbit915]

Story 2 - Ruined BF's favorite trail The BF's whole behavior is suspect in my book. 1 - Ignored OP's need to go before they even started. 2 - Urging OP to drink loads of water. 2a - This was/is good advice but I believe there was another reason. 3 - He felt awkward and embarassed to stand guard for his GF. All of his behavior to me was controlling, for some reason I feel he was maliciously hoping that OP would wet herself and his "being embarassed" was him being upset that what he possibly wanted to happen now wouldn't. I am probably wrong but it just feels like he understood what he was putting OP through.

[@carolroberts4614]

If he didn't, he should have! He's the experienced hiker, after all!

[@lizfritz6546]

Story 2; what the fuck. There is a difference staying hydrated and whatever the hell that was. NTA holy hell

[@KittenUndercover]

Boyfriend in story 2 clearly has a pee desperation fetish and forced OP to comply.

[@theaestheticskyline328]

Story 2: NTA. I'm am avid sunrise (& sunset) hiker and the best thing about sunrises is that there is always one every day. He could always come back another time.

[@br00413]

Hope you've had a wonderful day! I'm done with courses for the Fall semester so I'm finally able to watch these while NOT doing college work! (Ps. Chuseok is pronounced choo-sock ^^)

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - Sounds to me like they had it coming. Story 2 - BF sounds like an A-Hole. He had no empathy at all for OP's suffering (and yes, when you REALLY need to urinate and your in a situation where you can't it is suffering!) and only thought about what HE wanted to do, and then got furious with her when she simply couldn't take any more. Now he's claiming that she has "ruined" his favorite hiking spot. This is sounding abusive to me. I'd re-think marrying this guy if I were OP. Story 3 - Kudos to the Fiance for waking up to what a toxic disaster his sister is. I'm sorry it looks like his parents will now not be attending the wedding either, but maybe being NC or LC with them too will be for the best. Story 4 - The parents bullied OP about her choice of career until she went NC with them. Once she started speaking to them again, they went right back to giving her guff about her job. Now that she's told them she makes more than her siblings, they have apparently started harassing the siblings instead. What a couple of emotionally abusive creeps! OP is NTA but her parents certainly are!

[@jacegallagher8589]

Story 1: NTA. They were bullies, not family. I am Cherokee/Apache, German, Irish and Italian. My skin tone and eye color reflects the European side but my face, bone structure and hair color show my Native American side. This odd combination made me an oddity everywhere I went.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! Hope you are still doing well, I wish you and Poppy a great night!! Just about to get back to my "realistic" furry dragon drawing, I have never drawn realistic fur before but I want and need to learn!

[@superwalkthourghnato]

Story one is awful and I feel bad for the op. Still I must say the story got me thinking of Syndrome's line, "Too late. Fifteen years too late."

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 NTA WTF al she saw was her Korean side and was not allowed to take part in any traditions. her father and grandparents can kick rocks.

[@gameasasin]

Story 3 update: So glad the fiance pulled his head out of his ass and smelt the bullshit for what it was. I'm glad there's a semi happy ending to this story that wasn't a break up or op giving in to their demands.

[@maryann3820]

I am wrapping a pile of Xmas gifts and I'm glad I found this video to listen to while doing it.

[@Smugglizzle10]

Story 4: the parents are the ones that bought the siblings into the situation, not OP. OP just referred to their reference.

[@lemarch57]

Story 2: The hiking story. What kind of masochist demands you drink a lot of water and then forbids you to pee until he wants you to? Why is he trying to control your bladder? Imagine having a child with someone like this - sure fire hospital drama at the birth.

[@louellacharlton4425]

tyvm Mark. please stay safe. Peace

[@boundtogoboogie]

Girl on the hike, I am so relieved you broke up with this jerk. As a child, I remember being treated like my bodily functions were an inconvenience. There is a pathology in this controlling behavior.

[@LordBison98]

Story 3: You know, after what SIL told to OP's husband I understood why he didn't want to remove her from the wedding. Guy was probably abused, not physically, but emotionally. I'm glad he stood up with OP tho, good for them and bless their hearts.

[@LillyianPuppy]

The sad part about th l stories like the last one is that none of the kids realize that one kid doesn't have to look bad or be ostracized for the others to receive love (or the closest approximation those types of parents are capable of). However, as adults with careers and real life experiences, they've had chances to learn, so they don't get those excuses anymore.

[@Mewse1203]

May the syrup of Good fortune flow easily over your life. Be safe and take care of yourself. have a great day.

[@ceridwen04]

Blue eyes is a recessive gene, it can come out only if you have that recessive gene in both parents' line (even if they don't show it themselves). And if it's there, it means that somewhere in that parent history there was an ancestor carrying that recessive gene too. It doesn't mean you are not your parents' child. Not being a typically Korean feature it can mean somewhere along the father's family line someone had children with someone from another ethnicity too.

[@unicornjennie]

S4 NTA you have a real job. You enjoy your job which means you won't really work a day in your life. You told them the truth they can't handle it, consider going back to LC. Reality check was golden. Who cares if your ADULT siblings like it or not. None of them respect you, you didn't bring your siblings into it they did. They're the ones that tattled to them.

[@sharonwolfe5210]

To hikerGirl... You dodged a HUUUUGE bullet--- Well done , hon !!!

[@thebigmystery7841]

Oh god i relate too much to that first story. My family itself wasnt bad but I lived in an area where I was bullied relentlessly for being mixed Japanese. I heard slurs, "chinese japanese!" as kids stretched the edges of their eyes at me and laughed, told to go back to my own country, told that I was going to bomb america... It made me resent my culture and family. I went by a nickname that was english so it was harder for people to know. I kept anything asian related secret so I could be "passing". Once I was older and not in that town anymore people began to appreciate my name and compliment my heritage. I now go by real name more now and have made more traditional dinners and shared family history with friends. Its freeing to feel comfortable in your own skin...

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@FlamesofJagger]

Hey Broken! Don't forget to take care of yourself. Stay positive and awesome. Much love 💘 ❤️ 💗 💕 💛 💙 💘 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗

[@DarkbutNotsinister]

My little dog is sending snuggles! (Don’t worry. She growls because she loves you. I SWEAR)

[@debbymccormack6525]

In the last story, OP didn't bring her siblings into it. Her parents did when they compared her to them. Why is she getting hate for responding to that?

[@paigemosher8697]

Because people are fucking stupid and love to blame others for justifiably retaliating to mistreatment. Like, this is how normal people react, deal with it. Don't like it? Don't mistreat others, simple as that. Does anyone ever go outside anymore and interact with actual human beings, or do they expect life to play out like a dating sim?

[@mo6964]

Because adults don't try to bring others down for something someone else did. The parents were in the wrong yet she attacked the siblings just to get at the parents. It's childish and it's not really a surprise the siblings got pissed. They were never criticizing her.

[@debbymccormack6525]

@M O I disagree. She didn't attack her siblings, she simply pointed out that her "fake" job paid more than their "real" jobs ac ordinary to her parents standards. She didn't do anything wrong and her siblings have no reason to be upset with her.

[@chezshirecat1872]

To OP #2-if I gotta pee-I gotta pee. I can only hold it so long.

[@shaetoons3602]

I'll never understand the audacity of people like the ones in story one. NTA😒

[@rebeccay480]

I feel so bad for the OP in the first story. I hope they found a way to explore both cultures they are a part of, even if their dad's side had excluded them. Values arent bred they are taught.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Story 1: How vile. How can anyone treat their own grandchild and child like that? Absolutely disgusting. NTA.

[@AhamkaraMommy]

Story 1: Two things I wanna touch on: - Get therapy OP, sounds like trauma that has festered pretty deep understandably. - Just because you have written off a large amount of the debt doesn't mean their account is suddenly in the positive, they may have shown a reason to forgive, but no reason for you to actually like them yet.

[@Luve2020]

One of my first hikes with my now husband I had an upset stomach due to a chronic GI disease flair up. Had to have poops on the trail while he jogged back the car to drive to me bc I was in too much pain to walk for too long.

[@loraduvall8744]

Story 4 you are NTA as I and A Direct Support Professional for individuals with special needs and there is nothing wrong with working with these individuals and its a very rewarding job... tell your parents to grow up

[@samantharobinson1630]

Hi Mark currently watching KZbin videos with my late father's cat the little furball is curled up next to me purring