10 Signs of a Shame Attack

[@janicecameron809]

Incredibly wise, insightful and helpful. Thank you!

[@teresamicus9691]

Thank you so much!!❤

[@Ms.Chan.T]

This was helpful for me. I needed to hear thia

[@cherkapell4417]

You’re making things make sense! Thank you!

[@Sweet2kiss1]

This is my everyday life! The Lord has been telling me to be sober minded, the shame makes me sooooo necessary to just avoid and hide and talk to myself or condemn myself. Actually abandoning myself.... How crazy is that!!!

[@Angiemusicaldoodles]

I can relate to that! The rejection mindset is bad and it can hinder you. It’s about rejecting the lies and know that God is there, good and bad!

[@JedStevens1234]

God u r with us ! Thank you !

[@kirstenkreativ3078]

Hmmm... this is food for thoughts. Thank you so much 🙏🏻 I only just found your channel, and the first video I found was about abandanment wounds... wow it hit home. After decades of introspection I have still a lot of stuff to work through, and in my high age I still get many aha moments, when I suddenly see new ways to connect the dots... dots that stem from when I contracted paralytic Polio at the age of 6 months and was taken away from my mom and my family, only to return home 6 months later after having been admitted to two different hospitals without having visitors... and then I didn't even know my family. Over the years from I was 5-15 I went through 7 corrective surgeries and felt very alone in the processes... I was not allowed to say no... I was forced to cooperate, and I suffered a lot. But nothing was done out of cruelty or neglect, so I don't even have a reason to be angry... just lost and easily defiant. Luckily I'm normally easygoing, and I've experienced lots of fun in my long life, but I keep on getting into situations that trigger the old wounds in new ways, that sometimes baffle me. Here and now your brilliant and compassionate explanations shines the light on difficult situations I'm in at the moment, and one more time I find new ways to understand my own reactions and behaviours; which makes me very grateful, though ot's heavy stuff, and the process is lonely ❤

[@marketa4074]

So amazingly explained. Happens to me personally - thankfully I am (now) able to navigate with the Holy Spirit. I ask him for his advice and next step and he gives very simple instructions what to do. Happens to me with my mom too... almost every time when I bring up a concern or talk about how she caused me to feel. She starts spiraling and is no longer able to hear anything. And now I also understand why some people get so rigid when confronted about something. Also a shame response. Uh! This was well explained! Good job and thank you

[@johannafreymann8656]

Thanks to you and God!

[@Videooreo]

Thanks!

[@bigt4331]

This is always such a blessing! you are one of the only encouraging Christians on KZbin who actually understands my mental health struggles. I mostly encounter Lordship salvation guys who perceive my struggle as me not being saved or not having Jesus as the lord of my life. and if I just put Jesus first my problems would be solved. thank you so much!!!!!

[@katiesanders96]

@@1972w Same here! I listen exclusively to Mark. Other preachers only make it worse. I’m so sorry you’re struggling to want to live. 💔 In the last q&a Mark did, he answers a question about suicidal thoughts. It might be a blessing to you. He spoke with even greater compassion in his response to that one. Here’s the link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJqQiI2bZ72ad68. Just look in the video description and click on the appropriate time stamp. 😊

[@JedStevens1234]

Thank you Mark !! I can see and feel the love and compassion you have for us . God Bless you in all you do !

[@katiesanders96]

@@1972w YES!! 💞 Hugs!!! 🤗

[@katiesanders96]

@@JedStevens1234 Amen 1,000%! 🙌

[@albrecht1635]

Yes Mark is great! You should try Andy Woods, too. He is a very detailed theologian who talks a lot about the grace and love of God.

[@cindyc12]

Thank you for this! I have dealt with shame for encountering chronic physical illness and receiving disability benefits. People are cruel when they find out you don't work. They either go into silence, they give unwanted advice or they completely abandon because they don't understand why. Why God is not healing you, Why you don't "look" disabled (I have hidden disabilities), and worst of all is the disability your claiming is true. Then they go into the I'm sorry, feel bad for you that your life has to be so miserable because you have no employment or income. I understand the defending... I have felt I needed to explain my illness, explain I worked for 25 plus years through tremendous struggles before receiving disability. Recently, was the first time, when someone inquired about what I do, I proudly said "God bless me to medically retire", nd and the silence, weirdness didn't bother me. I am proud of my testimony and I'm blessed to have financial stability even when it's not a job.

[@katiesanders96]

Aww, Cindy, I relate to your feelings and experiences here so much!!! I too have an “invisible” disease, and I’ve never had a job in my 26 years. Triggers deep insecurities for me. In my case, I’m working towards healing. My doc fully believes I’ll get my life back; it’s just a slow process that’s been constantly obstructed by things out of my control. A journey, you might say. 😉

[@cindyc12]

@@katiesanders96 Thank you the reply. Yes it's journey, I'm in my 40's so the insecurities hit harder, because your supposed to be in your "prime". I haven't given up on the possibilities of working again. It'll just have to be a very unique position or God will have to open an opportunity for entrepreneurship. But after years of working, even most recently as last year and having another job loss due to illness I surrendered. I said God I've done my best, and I will follow your will for my life even if that means a season or seasons of not working. I'm content....I'm content with his timeline of my healing, possibly returning to work in the future or not, and timeline he has for my life. I know that's not a popular stance with everyone and I'm okay with that.

[@katiesanders96]

@@cindyc12 Thank you so much for your reply. 😊 I’d like to share a resource that’s been life-changing for me: A Book of Comfort for Those in Sickness by Philip Bennett Power. It’s tailored to those who have chronic illness or conditions. I think it could also be fitting for us perfectionists and OCDers because he sets up the foundation of the book with repeated proofs that God TRULY wants to comfort us! He writes in a very soothing tone. Plus, there are also chapters about unworthiness, feeling useless, envying the healthy, dealing with the length of the affliction, and more. I’ve never read a book like it!! ❤️

[@cindyc12]

@@katiesanders96 Thank you for this, I love to read so I will definitely check it out.

[@katiesanders96]

@@cindyc12 🙌💞😊

[@silentservant_]

What helps me in a shame attack, is reminding myself to trust Jesus. “Lord, my thoughts and emotions are under your authority” Because He loves us. And the attack begins to ease. Shame is like that leftover residue that wants to stick to you when you’ve moved more forward in the Healing Journey. Or in moments of peace.

[@kshaw9179]

Love this, thank you!

[@beatriz-alegh]

THANK YOU!!!! ( hugs from brazil )

[@monicavillafranca]

i feel so beat up about my struggles and i just don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m losing my faith.

[@jlea9793]

Pretty much the same with me. 😢

[@lilacook2508]

Monica, never give up! God wants you free!

[@natg_37]

You are not alone dear Monica. God will help you. I struggle too, so I am sorry you are going through this. Please let Scripture speak to your soul. May this verse help you to draw near to God. 💖❤‍🩹🙏 Psalm 46:1- God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

[@natg_37]

@@jlea9793 🙏Psalm 46:1- [1] God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Whenever I struggle I try to go to God's word even when I am frozen. God is faithful, even if we fail. May God guide us to His powerful Word and help us arm ourselves with God's truth that will defeat the all that goes in our hearts and minds.

[@trevororymusic]

@@monicavillafranca “Whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything” - 1 John 3:20 No matter how bad things get, God is still with us and He will not abandon us. He knows what we’re going through and He is patient with all of us in our struggles. I’ve felt the same way before and it’s no fun, but I encourage you to keep taking steps and it won’t last forever. If you see this I hope it helps.

[@victoryamartin9773]

This was so relatable, I'll have to listen to it again. I had a shame attack today surprisingly, because I had thought I had expelled all my shame previously through embracing grace. My temptation was to make excuses for why I had not done the favor my son had asked of me a day and 1/2 ago, even though it will most likely take many days to go through all the course work to make sense of a logic class he's stumped by. My fear was that if I admitted I had fallen short of his expectation he would write me off as someone he can't count on, confirming why he rarely reaches out for any kind of help. My thought was that this would ruin our fragile relationship. Wow, such big expectations hinging on a simple request! As I sat with the discomfort for awhile, I started seeing the obstacles to accomplishing this task in this short amount of time, and I was able to give myself enough grace to keep from drowning or making excuses and resettle myself into actually starting on the task. While listening to the video, I also related to the distress over a drowning feeling and being told that I am overly focusing on myself by friends who haven't been able to help me get past the fear that holds me hostage in an ongoing abusive situation in my home. My question is do these feelings of being out of control causing such disregulation apply to other circumstances involving fear or other emotions other than shame? Or should I conclude that because I can relate to the distress you're speaking about that I am experiencing shame in this arena as well? Should I be looking for shame in my terror of being destroyed by these abusive people in my house even though I am not aware of having negative thoughts toward myself?

[@nicoleheroux5749]

Been dealing with this as well since a child. Abuse neglect shame apathy My Lord save my child and give her YOUR abundance of love and healing

[@RandyBigPicture]

Worst time in my life. Thank you Mark.

[@Julianna8436]

This is so great, Thankyou 🙏

[@shellymessina6733]

This very timely . Lots of shame and needing of unconditional love

[@emilywelsh5359]

Thank you!! This was fantastic and so helpful!

[@ladyesther]

I just want to say thank you Mark. This is very helpful. I appreciate you and your ministry here on YT.

[@jennamartin5913]

I’m working on learning to be my own friend

[@katiesanders96]

Wow, thank you so much for uploading the audio already to podcasts! I really needed this message today, as I think I’ve been spinning in a shame attack.

[@lukastheprussian]

You might have done mistakes but you are no mistake! You are not alone in that :)

[@katiesanders96]

@@lukastheprussian Awww!!! So kind of you! I’m still struggling to get out of the spinning and the spinning about spinning. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ Thank you SO much for saying I’m not a mistake.

[@lukastheprussian]

@@katiesanders96 You're very welcome, dear Katie 😊 Hope you will get better soon!

[@Angiemusicaldoodles]

Katie! Last week, I suffered from a relapse possibly a shame attack of my broken past. I ended up spinning and wanting to isolate from everyone. So you’re not alone! The rejection mindset is very demonic, and it causes all kinds of problems. Anxiety, fear, insecurities, doubts, etc etc. It really hinders you from interacting overall, being gentle with yourself and think that God seems far when you’re going thru stuff. The reality is that God is there, good and bad! Time to dump the rejection mindset in the trash! I hope you feel better soon Katie 🤍

[@Isytrice07]

This video is so needed at the right time. Gives me language to this emotion and behaviors I’ve been experiencing. Thank youuuuuuu.

[@nicoleheroux5749]

Panic> anxiety> can’t breathe > awfuL!!! ❤🙏

[@katiesanders96]

ABSOLUTELY!!! I’ve been riding this rollercoaster for a couple days. One thing that Mark did in these kinds of intense moments was to cry and sing hymns and worship songs. It’s now my new tactic as well, and can bring me back to the present by focusing on God (not myself) and remembering the comforting truths I need that get lost in the OCD spirals. Hugs!!!

[@didunsmuir2821]

Just happened to watch this from my feed and realized this happened to me last night over not being enough. I wonder how often this happens unaware. Thank you for helping me see this! I know it was no accident I clicked. Thanking Him, too.

[@stacythomason9188]

I've felt so lost with what has been going on with myself the past 2 to 3 years. This Shame Attack is video is what I've been playing practically word for word. I finally has someone who understands. I've felt so crazy.. No words will ever explain how I appreciate these video you put out. I'm not alone.. thank you.🙂

[@tishataray]

ThanksMark for this vid...very powerful and useful to my psyche

[@tmking7483]

Proud I love Jesus Bring it on

[@sav3dgirl194]

WOW was this helpful!!!!! I am so happy to know im not alone and this is a relatable thing!! First it goes to drowning then defensiveness then back to drowning

[@nicosavedbygrace2721]

Your worlds came in the perfecting timing Mark. So crazy how God speaks to me. Thanks a lot for making that so clear and expecially for giving me inside, how I should See myself, while working trough my issues. You are such a blessing Mark.

[@AlwaysLime]

100% relate to this. 🎯 I came here because I realized I was having a shame attack and I wanted to learn how to not drown in it.

[@ajdeming4416]

I don’t know if it is your verbiage or what, but the way you described shame it made me understand it in a way that applies to how I react when I am hard on myself. It’s like I know Jesus loves me even in my shame, but I have not loved myself the same way… you have truly been a blessing for me!

[@Humble-Savage]

Everytime i have a panic attack it turns into a shame attack. Im actually going thru it right now😪😭🙏 God help me.

[@rayyjayy274]

God Bless you Mark!!! Thank you for all you do and the courage it takes for you to share all this with us. A hurting world that needs these messages so much!!!

[@maddymclaugh9660]

WHY DID THIS LITERALLY HAPPEN TO ME LAST NIGHT!! Ahahha!!! I felt sooo vulnerable… like I’ve been dissociating… but I feel like I need to stay in this weird feeling/space to heal maybe? I’m not sure… It almost felt like I realized how afraid I am of being myself and not living in the future/past… and I just could feel like everyone could see into my soul, I felt insanely shamed and embarrassed… socially awkward… like I’m an alien… and I just tried to stay in that state of being present and it was so scary and it almost felt selfish to just BE… and not try and anticipate everything everyone else “needs” from me… idk if that does my experience justice but I feel WEIRD still today! Ahhh

[@ketsialove]

Hugs. I hear ya.

[@nixonnate32]

Mood! 🫂

[@Andrewjapaneserees]

I am trying to be less stubborn less of making arguments and I full want to be less prideful and more humble.

[@juanitacrocker2474]

Yep I've lived with this most of my life...number 1- drowning...not usually #2...much at all...

[@Aliensurfer]

I have suffered with these attacks my entire life, but never realized what caused them until I saw this! I will be following these videos and seeking the help and healing of Holy Spirit. Thank you so much Mark for posting this.

[@lukastheprussian]

I have a history of massive sexual guilt on me, pornography is just one of the things. Even though I was neglected as a child and slided into that without knowing what I started to do or having someone to stop me, I feel deeply defiled and have that horrible fear that I became unlovable for god. I really hope there is a way out there

[@Rochgoju]

God loves you, you’re not too far gone.

[@Water_Rat]

I have shared the same guilt and shame and fear of eternal doom for decades over my sexuality and I can say with confidence that God never abandoned me. There were times in the midst of my struggles that he comforted me, even though I often felt I was willfully staying where I was. I finally came to the point of admitting to God that I loved what I was doing but hated that I loved it and didn’t know how to stop loving it. There was so much self effort leading to self condemnation over constant failures through those years. One day I got bold enough to say to God that I was so fed up with trying to be free and that I was done with trying. Instead, I told him that was going to focus on trusting him and building my love relationship with him…not using performance to please him, but only to be with him and get to know him better. To my surprise that was the start of growing into freedom from sexual bondage. I can just imagine God saying at that time with a smile and a joy “Finally! Now let me show you what I can do!“. Change definitely did not come instantly, it was a process of growth over time. Through the following three years my durations of faltering became shorter and my times between faltering grew longer, until the day came where it naturally fell away on its own. I determined not to beat myself up when I faltered. Not beating myself up was a growth process during that time as well. What caused my sexual disfunction to keep going quieter was coming to realize by experience how dearly loved I am by God. This caused me to pour that love back to him in gratitude, and out of his love growing in me, to stop looking at an every woman as a potential sex partner. It has truly been change from the inside out as opposed to trying to change from the outside in. This is for you too. Don’t ever think you are too far gone that God will ditch you. Every last bit of God’s wrath was spent on Jesus so we would never have to experience it. Jesus really did a good enough job when he took all our sin and brokenness to the grave with him, and when he rose after 3 days none of our old nature rose with him. Because of this, I personally don’t see that God works on our sin, instead he works on teaching us to step into the new nature that was given to us at spiritual rebirth…not teaching us how to stop sinning, but teaching us how to be holy instead. There’s a big difference. The first focus is on negatives, whereas the second focusses on positives, possibilities and solutions. Even though our old nature has been taken to the grave with Christ, we still sin is because we are still glued to old habits and ways of thinking, and those can be broken. This is why scripture speaks of us being transformed by the renewing of our mind, rather than being transformed by working on our sins. See Roman’s chapter 6 and ponder it until you see God’s wonderful invitation for you to consider yourself dead to sin and that you are completely free to draw near to him to grow in a deep and intimate love relationship with him in spite of how well or not well you do. He never changes, no matter how good or bad our days go. Simply confess whenever you need to and trust that he is faithful to forgive and continue his cleansing process in you as you walk with him, receive his love, and trust him to teach you to think how he thinks. He truly is a God to be celebrated for all he has done for us, and as the angel exclaimed to the shepherds when Jesus was born: Luk 2:10 (NIV) 10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” May God bless you richly as you journey with him!

[@nicoleheroux5749]

Alexis I’m so very sorry you have dealt with this. I am here for you always!! Momma xx

[@sharyllee7094]

Yes. I agree with you on the stopping of health efforts because of shame preventing us from moving forward. Bradshaw use to call ifta "shame core". I call it a "shame shell" because it prevents other information from getting through. Thanks so much for this. I recently had a friend turn on me from a shame place in his psyche...

[@emilee930]

My goodness if this isn't me. I feel that if I don't do everything right all the time, then God will punish me for it.

[@asinamirror2253]

I wanted to be free from these attacks so desperately, I would go into rumination mode and my mind was like a freight train. I had to talk to someone so it would be my wife and I would always be so angry and frustrated when talking to her because I couldn't find freedom. Then she would tell me scripture and try to help me, then I would go into defensive mode and justify why I had a right to be like I was! I would argue and be extremely stubborn when it came to her trying to help me. I feel so bad for what I put her through but we are working it out. I still get emotions I can't explain while on my journey. I wish I felt safe on my journey, but I don't. I feel like if I don't overcome everything I will be judged by God and condemned. I feel like I can't be comfortable until I reach a certain height of overcoming. But that would just be working to better myself so God will accept me. I am so messed up! I feel like I will never find what I'm looking for. I just started my journey about a week ago so I am really green!

[@Andrewjapaneserees]

I keep telling myself i need to watch Mark Dejesus's videos on Grace and i forget and feel shame or guilt.

[@MarvinEngle-he8kq]

Thank you Mark! As you were talking about being sober in our thinking Romans 12:3 came to mind. You've helped me so much to become the man God wants me to be. Thanks again.

[@dyanitsuyo9609]

Thank you Mark. Could you also make a video about the way thoughts have effects on the body? Like physical? I haven't found a video on that in your channel and would love to see you address that 🙏🏻 May God continue to bless you and your ministry, in Jesus Name.

[@joyfulnoise4896]

@@dyanitsuyo9609 Dr. Caroline Leaf is a Christian neuroscientist who goes into a lot of that. I found it very interesting!

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

Thank you

[@pearlsoares1660]

I just went through a shame attack and in my head I saw Mark clap and go, "hey hey sober up!" 😂

[@eliasburgstaller3172]

Hi Mark! I've just recently found your videos and I am so glad! I've hurt and lost the girl I love, because I got totally lost in my OCD thoughts (did not know they were OCD although everyone said it is irrational). She moves on, and I can understand. I was too afraid to tell her I still love her, because I dont want to hurt her again, because I dont know if my mental health will get better. I need to do a lot of work on my mental health, and get to know how God really is. But I just cant deal with the regret, shame, and hurt. It hurts so much that we are now strangers, and I am the man who hurt her. I am even afraid to tell her that its my OCD that causes me to think things such as "You need to choose between God and her" or "If you really love God you stay single" or "You are so self-centered, you will never be good enough, or "You are not saved",...Because what if its not my OCD but I really made an idol of her? If I really am not good enough? Any advice? Thanks!

[@katiesanders96]

Oh, Elias, you are so unconditionally loved right now!!! Mark can relate EXACTLY to what you’re talking about, as he struggled a lot with relationship OCD. I know he has a whole video on that specific type of OCD. He also has a testimony called “My Healing and Freedom Journey from OCD,” and I’m pretty sure he talks in it about his experiences with relationship OCD.

[@lukastheprussian]

I can imagine in what situation you are right now. Also lost my girlfriend because of my Ocd. I can promise you, there is hope in healing from Ocd and from the shame and breakup pain. God is redemptive and will use what happened to send you on a way of healing and to prepare you to have a more healthy and intimate relationship one day. Don't give up, friend! 💪🏻

[@katiesanders96]

@Olia Krist AMEN!!!

[@jessestanger2650]

Hi, mark. I’ve been struggling with worrying if I have addictions. Every day I worry about, “Am I addicted to food?”, “Am I addicted to video games?”, “Am I addicted to this book?”, etc. Any advice?

[@beth4095w]

I really relate to this always feeling like I had to deny myself but God has really been helping me with it... Someone showed me it's not about trying really hard to modify behaviours, the Holy Spirit will change you from the inside. I think if you are addicted He will show you and give you the strength to overcome it, it's not something you can do in your own strength. I read somewhere something like dying to self means dying to self-effort. I don't know if that is relevant but if your problem is similar to mine it might help :)

[@naturelover1284]

Good grief of Lutheran mother that changed to Catholic and takes all the worst of both on you

[@chrisruth2040]

I’m dealing with this now

[@_cr8ive_]

Are none of these awful symptoms related to spiritual attacks or demonic oppression? 😖😖🤦🏼‍♂️ Feels terrible...

[@nicoleheroux5749]

Whaaaaaa???!!! This was s’thing never spoken as a child. I’m almost 54 And want my child to Overcome *avoid Run and hide 🙈 Omw!!!!! 😢

[@nicoleheroux5749]

Escape. Drugs to change us): 😔🙈🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@partlysimpson5154]

Yes, its escape. May lord deliver you in Jesus name

[@nicoleheroux5749]

Vulnerable

[@yl5020]

✝️💟

[@danateets4774]

I feel number 3

[@cyanide_and_]

I do see your effort but I see that the language used is itself kinda shame-ful, e.g. the behaviours listed under defensiveness. I feel we first need to understand that these seemingly knee jerk responses trace back to the event when we were shamed and the memory of that impact got stored in our bodies. The solution has to be somatic and not a cognitive one although yes there's a place for the latter too. I don't agree that it's the lack of humility that shows up as pride if one's being shamed (whether wrongly or not) in the present. And to sober up by sheer will.... I'm sorry, it sounds like another "just have more faith" way to THINK our way out....

[@partlysimpson5154]

But faith cling us closer to Lord, this will deliver us, can u belive this?

[@nicoleheroux5749]

YeS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!