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Now we've been talking about emotional affairs for the previous two episodes of relationship radio. So if you have not heard those, may I recommend that you might want to stop this one right here and go back and listen to the previous two. In the first one, I talk about the difference between an emotional affair and a sexual affair. And through those two episodes, we talked about the stages people go through when they get involved in an affair.
How can you overcome the emotions of an affair? We've discussed some of the points in the other two episodes. Firstly, you can't change emotions just by sheer willpower. If you think that somehow God's going to make that happen, if you're a religious person, I'm going to tell you right now that typically that's not how that occurs. Here we use the social sciences. And in the social sciences, I'm going to tell you that no one else, including God, if you believe he exists, is going to step in and rip those emotions out and change them like that.
But there's some good news in this; time changes emotions. If you had a good relationship with your mom or dad or both, what you felt about them when you were three was love, and it was an intense love on a three-year-old level. And what you thought about them at 13 was much different than that. It's still love, but it has many other things and nuances that weren't occurring at three that do happen at 13. And if you're 33 and you love your parents, even now, it's different than when you were 13, because emotions change with time.
I've been married to my wife at the time of this recording for over 50 years. Do I love her? Yes. Is that the same kind of emotion I felt when we were 18 when we met each other? No, the intensity of what you're feeling toward the other person will evolve with time. Look at the people in your world, in your life, that you know that those emotions evolved into something else. So whatever your spouse is feeling towards somebody else right now will not be the same thing they feel three years from now. And that's why people often look back on something they wanted with all of their heart that they gave up everything to have and realize they don't have the same intensity of desire toward that thing that they once did.
We've been working with marriages since 1994. Now, at the time of this recording, it is 2021. So that's a whole lot of years, about two and a half decades, that we've worked with marriages. And even last year, we had 10,000 couples involved in some of our programs. And more than a quarter of a million people have been to courses, workshops, and seminars that we've written and developed. So we've had enough exposure to enough people over a long enough period that we have some understanding as to what people are going to do. And while we can not make the exact prediction for you or your spouse, we're telling you that human nature's pretty consistent.
We've already said you can't fix it by using willpower. We've already said that time will change things. But what you do determines how time changes things-the things that you do that are positive and the things that you don't do. And so, the actions you take, the behaviors you put into your life working with time speeds the time process up. So we hope that you take from this not that we're trying to discourage you but that we're trying to give you hope. The hope is not in control; the hope is in understanding human nature and that people continue to change. And in the next episode of Relationship Radio, we're going to demonstrate that hope for you.
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