Married and Choosing Childfree: Our Thoughts

My amazing husband's BLOG: movetofrancean...
Let's continue the childfree by choice discussion 🔥: • Childfree by Choice
⚡⚡ AUTHENTIC LIVING SERIES (hello transiting Uranus on sun!): • Authentic Living
TIMESTAMPS
0:52 Does my husband want kids?
2:22 Anxiety
3:37 Prioritizing marriage and romance
4:40 Nomadic living, travel and spontaneity
7:00 Shaming those speaking out about childfree by choice
9:10 Is childfree selfish?
18:03 "You'll Regret Not Having Kids"
20:03 Donating Eggs
22:08 Don't you want kids with your partner?
23:13 Being childfree is not an affront or attack on parents
26:06 Older happy childfree by choice couples
27:26 Tired of explaining yourself?
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[@helenawoods]

Let's continue the childfree by choice discussion 🔥 My amazing husband's BLOG: movetofranceandteachenglish.com/ ⚡AUTHENTIC LIVING SERIES: kzbin.info/aero/PLO0f2LixQ5fmTN_kxl4JohWYV9oUeJZOy TIMESTAMPS 0:52 Does my husband want kids? 2:22 Anxiety 3:37 Prioritizing marriage and romance 4:40 Nomadic living, travel and spontaneity 7:00 Shaming those speaking out about childfree by choice 9:10 Is childfree selfish? 18:03 "You'll Regret Not Having Kids" 20:03 Donating Eggs 22:08 Don't you want kids with your partner? 23:13 Being childfree is not an affront or attack on parents 26:06 Older happy childfree by choice couples 27:26 Tired of explaining yourself?

[@Upload-video-terserah-gue]

Enaknya jadi manusia = 1. Ada makanan 2. Fisik sehat 3. Panjang umur 4. Punya keluarga 5. Ada tempat tinggal bagus 6. Manusia Jujur 7. Saling toleransi 8. Masuk surga 9. Dapat rezeki. 10. Damai dengan orang. 11. Mempunyai pemimpin yang pro rakyat. Dll Gak enaknya jadi manusia = 1. Kelaparan 2. Kadang merasakan sakit , ada yang berkebutuhan khusus ( tidak bisa melihat, tidak bisa mendengar, tidak bisa berbicara ), ada yang sakit berat = stroke , kanker , dll , ada yang kehilangan anggota tubuh . 3. Suatu hari meninggal 4. Ada yang Gak punya keluarga 5. Ada yang tidak punya tempat tinggal atau tempat tinggal jelek 6. Ditipu orang 7. Rasis SARA ( suku , agama, ras dan budaya) , Rasis yang lain. 8. Masuk neraka 9. Harus bekerja kalau mau punya harta 10. Di hina orang 11. Mempunyai pemimpin Tidak pro rakyat Dll. Maka dari itu saya memutuskan tidak punya anak. Ada gak enaknya jadi manusia. Mungkin anak saya mengalami hal buruk tersebut . Ya walaupun ada enaknya jadi manusia, saya tetap tidak punya anak. ( Indonesia language)

[@Svjesnakuhinja]

It astonishes me when people claim that not having children is selfish. The irony is staggering-bringing a child into this world, subjecting them to the uncertainties and challenges of life, and ultimately facing death, all to satisfy your own desires and ambitions, is the very definition of selfishness.

[@PoppinPsinceAD33]

That’s a very stupid idea. I bet you would support ending the child in the womb because of uncertainty in life?

[@audreycaruso8111]

Totally agree.

[@sparshgakhar3017]

Disagree on your logic

[@brendabartges312]

I'm so glad to see both of you speak out about this issue. I purposefully chose to never have children. I'm now 74. Have no regrets about that decision. Continue to talk about this!!

[@AnnalisaJ]

We are happily married for now over 20 years and childfree by choice, we have no regrets! I don’t find the decision selfish at all, however what I find very selfish is this questions, which we get often, from people who have children: “but if you don’t have kids, who will take care of you when you are old?”. Having kids with the expectation they will be your caregiver when you age, because you think you are owed this for raising them, this is extremely selfish to me. In the end live and let live, people make their own choices and if you are uncomfortable with someone personal choice, it is definitely a you problem. I love your videos Helena ❤

[@sg3918]

Also there's no guarantee they will. There's enough broken families to know it's far from certain.

[@AnnalisaJ]

@@sg3918100%

[@justbeegreen]

There are other cultures who get this and have incredible elder care that is funded by taxes (thinking Scandinavian cultures)… so the elderly are guaranteed elder housing if they need it and their families can spend the time with their elder family members instead of worrying about the caretaking part. There are cultures who get it: they care for the most vulnerable, and the citizens of those cultures do not have to stress about the basics: food, shelter, healthcare, and education - they’re considered a human right. ❤

[@frenchmakoti]

Having children is a huge responsibility and it never ends.

[@lisacruz7458]

Follow your heart. We did and my husband and I are childfree by choice. We have been married 28 years and have a great, strong, loving relationship. We look after and support each other.

[@Fan-zx1lz]

Great I also want the same Childfree Life.

[@honoreejennings1998]

Love your channel! I'm 50 and absolutely no regrets! I am enough! Keep coming with the videos. Very insightful!❤️

[@susanbertrand8620]

The world needs lots of Aunties and Uncles too! I am childless by choice but willingly spend huge amounts of time and energy with children. I am very content.

[@octobercloser]

As someone who is a mum and also works with kids, I can assure you that you are making the caring, unselfish choice. What's truly selfish is having an unwanted child. Every child deserves to be completely wanted and loved.

[@LisaRealNow]

Yes. Please don't have the child you don't want. You'd ruin their life. Also don't have abortions.

[@monicapradanos]

Completely agree, I work at a school and it's so sad to see all those children who are willing for my hugs, because their parents just ignore them, and even worse those who misbehave very badly because they do not have parents who take the time to establish limits, being patient explaining them the reason for those limits, being there when they have a problem... So sad. People say that being childfree by choice is selfish, what about having a kid and doing this with him or her?? This is more than selfish!! Please, only have kids if you feel you are going to take good care of them. Having kids is not compulsory but a decision.

[@octobercloser]

@@monicapradanos this is exactly my experience. My heart breaks for these kids.

[@NilDreams]

And even when you really want them, you are bringing them into a life where they will for sure be subjected to suffering. My grown kids have suffered greatly with cancer, mental illness, etc.

[@megjillm]

I have 4 kids, and I totally agree with you. As your husband said, you really need to want it 100% because it’s such a commitment. You can’t just try it and change your mind. I got to have the life I really wanted to have, as a full time parent building a large family and everyone should get to do the same, building the life that excites them. And yes, traveling full time with kids, especially a lot of kids is so expensive. I got really lucky that all of my kids love to travel and do really well when we travel, even my youngest but I just purchased tickets, at a great low price from North Carolina to Aruba and it still cost me over $3,000 just for the tickets bc there are a lot of us!

[@PriyankaYadav-lt5ml]

As an Indian girl, i have always seen overpopulation all around... nd bcoz of that here r lots of issues like lack of job opportunity, bad health facility, pollution etc and i myself don't want to bring child in this type of society...So i decided to be childfree by Choice

[@Fan-zx1lz]

Me too same. Don't want to have children for the same reason.

[@morganinwanderland]

Also childfree by choice here🙋🏻‍♀️I have never understood how people see this decision as selfish. I actually find that some people who do have kids do so for quite selfish reasons.I also am tired of justifying my decision to people and being afraid of being seen as a mean old ogre saying “Oh but I do love little kids, I used to be a preschool teacher, and I’m an aunt bla bla bla” when in all honesty I really just don’t particularly care for children. They’re sticky, loud, and they break things 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@oldchild527]

I really relate to this, I have two nieces, they're cute and all but I reached a limit to be a nanny at all times like this is my job ... Not having kids ever

[@SnowDeerling]

I am SO happy that you brought up the conversation with your aunt at 26:30. My mother is very supportive of my husband and I not having children. But we disagree on the response to people asking if we are having kids. She believes in a response like your aunt to not rock the boat and let them think it’s a possibility. While I don’t want to be confronted and have to explain myself every time (I’m like Alex with anxiety,) I also think we shouldn’t be ashamed of being child free by choice. The more of us that admit to it, lets this choice become a new normal option. I think that’s healthy for the world and future generations to think of parenthood as being a chosen profession and so no child is born unwanted. Far too many children are ‘accidents,’ when becoming a parent should be the most important decision of someone’s life. Thank you for your videos!

[@RachelClaire-k6g]

Helena Woods, you two are awesome, I love your passion and his calmness (reminds me of my partner and I). Your videos have helped me feel so much calmer about being childfree...Thankyou so much:)

[@someoneanyone365]

Thank you for putting yourselves out there like this, I know it can’t be easy! This is important information that a lot of people are intimidated to speak about.

[@helenawoods]

Thank you

[@marionchronicles]

Not to mention parental abuse and/or neglect by people who had kids by choice. Are they selfish?

[@magicdreamer8874]

I think women who have children are as discriminated as those women who don't, just in different ways. There is no easy way to be a woman, whether she is a mother or not. I think, God decides, not humans. I respect your honesty, Helena❤and understand you in many ways. You are a lovely couple❤

[@idarneal]

Childfree by choice. Best thing I have done for myself. I am old and retired now, and I neither miss nor regret anything.

[@aer71367]

Kudos to them! There's nothing wrong with choosing not to have children. My daughter and her husband chose not to have children and I could care less.

[@ilianaboheme]

🙌You guys give so much value to the world together.💗

[@Fan-zx1lz]

Thank you for doing this Great video. It takes a lot of energy and effort to do this. I appreciate your courage for speaking this out. I am a Childfree man from a very very conservative and Oppressive country.

[@jessicaallard9453]

Thank you for this video 💕 I've been with my partner, living together for 12 years, and we are very happy with our little family. One another, our cat, our dog. That is enough 😊 We do not want children, never have, and don't foresee changing our minds. In fact, our relationship is quite similar to yours! We are each other's best friends and supporters ✨ I am also incredibly grateful and lucky to have a good group of close child-free by choice friends who are of the same mindset! For the people who don't understand, I don't entertain what they say at all because nothing that anyone says about having kids is going to make me change my mind 🤷‍♀️

[@Fan-zx1lz]

Happy to see this Positive comment. 👍🏻👍🏻. Enjoy your Childfree life.

[@anjaw.7854]

What a beautiful Appartment you guys have ! Makes it even more exciting for some sit-down Videos like this one in the future :-)

[@MerryNatalis]

45 years old here and child free, wouldn't have it any other way. I've always known. Thank you for this video, I am not so alone.

[@persephone213]

I’m loving this childfree series and it’s great getting Alex’s perspective, too!

[@helenawoods]

Thanks Amber!! ❤

[@miriamchristinhuish9930]

Completely agree. I’m 45 and childfree, no regrets. I’ve been working with kids and families all my working life. Having kids doesn’t mean you’re making the ultimate contribution to life. All the kids I worked with were highly traumatised by their upbringing and couldn’t live with their parents anymore. No shaming on the parents! But putting children in the world doesn’t automatically make you the best contributor and not having children doesn’t make you selfish. I find that absolutely clear. We are free and honestly let’s enjoy our human experience the way we chose to 🎉🌟💖 You are such a sweet and compassionate couple ❤

[@NilDreams]

Hi Helena, I applaud you for not wanting children. I am a mother of three, all grown. I really wanted kids, I absolutely loved being pregnant and being a mom but I have to say I do not encourage any of my grown kids to have children. One of my kids had cancer at 22 and that was really tough for him. The other two have suffered from really bad depression and that’s been super hard for them as well. When you bring kids into this world it is kind of selfish because of the great possibility of them suffering with diseases or devastating mental health issues, etc. My sister’s kid was left without a mother because she died, which was very hard on him. So while I don’t regret having my kids, I don’t recommend it to anyone. Having kids is beautiful yet you are bringing them (without them asking) into a life where they will for sure be suffering through many things in their life.

[@tiamo_danielle]

Thank you for sharing these thoughts on being childfree! Such an important discussion.

[@ChildfreeFamily]

I've been binge-watching your videos on the childfree topic, and first, I want to thank you for sharing your experiences and helping to bring attention to the childfree lifestyle. Something you mentioned in this video caught me off guard-donating eggs to pay off student loans. While I respect your choices and the journey you've had, I feel that calling oneself "childfree" becomes a bit complicated in the context of donating eggs (or sperm). For many in the childfree community, being childfree isn’t just about not raising children but also about not having biological offspring in any form. Using the term this way might unintentionally dilute its meaning, especially for those who hold the term to a stricter definition. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

[@melissamaloo6646]

Great video Helena / it’s definitely a cultural response to even ask that needs to change / it could even be the someone can’t so it’s also insensitive potentially to even ask!!! Children are great but having them so you have someone to be with you when your old (which I’ve defo heard from people) has to be the most selfish thing ever! Lovely to hear from Alex

[@Fan-zx1lz]

Yes one of the main reasons for me being Childfree is the want to focus on the partner, not want a kid to change it or disturb it.

[@lizardobeck]

😇💞🙏🙌 Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! 🎯Keep going Helena, and thanks Alex! It is an important topic, keep going! Sending you so much love and support!! 👏👏🌻🧿

[@MoniquefromTheNetherlands]

Great Vlog. 👏💖 Also nice to hear Alex's side. 👍 You are such a lovely couple. 🤗✨

[@Louise-calliope]

I enjoy your content so much! It’s so refreshing to hear you and your husband discuss these topics surrounding the decision to be childfree by choice. Thank you for sharing!!! A few words to share. I wanted to say that the first video that I saw from you, ‘Childfree by choice- why women aren’t having kids’, was so life changing for me. I’ve listened to it probably over 10 times. It was the first childfree video that I resonated with so fully and personally and it encouraged me to talk openly and proudly about my decision to be childfree to friends and family. Since I’ve decided to be open about it, it has been extremely liberating and has encouraged so much confidence and self growth in me. I used to be a people pleaser and stay quiet about a lot things just to not ruffle feathers, but now I speak so confidently about who I am and what I believe in. I’ve gotten some weird (but unsurprising- you know the typical bingos) responses from some friends and family…honestly, it’s only added more fuel for me to keep talking about it! I have to be honest though and say that at first, I was so sad, angry, and disappointed (and for a while) by some of the reactions that I got…they made feel deeply misunderstood, belittled, immature, unvalued, dehumanized, and dismissed. But in the end, it has all been helpful and led to me have a greater sense of self and grow my self love and confidence. What helped me let go of people’s responses is the childfree community and going on a learning journey about societal programming and conditioning. From the time I chose to be childfree and joined the childfree subreddit, and then finding so much wonderful childfree content on KZbin; it’s been life saving! Thanks so much for being you and sharing your content! It has changed my life in so many ways and I’m so grateful! 💛 Can’t wait to see more!!!! 😃 you are amazing and an inspiration!

[@PeggyWelsh-Sola]

Helena 😊 This is very encouraging!!! I wish I was childfree 👧🏽🧒🏽because I had kids from the wrong man 👨🏻 I wish I didn’t rush into relationship back in my past. Whatever happen GOD FORGIVEN ME!!! Keep making these kind of videos.

[@Mizri1]

Of course it's not selfish. What is selfish is childfree people who expect the world to cater to them and remove children from all the places they want to go to. Children are part of society and wanting them gone from everywhere or referring to them in awful names like "crotch goblins" or "cum trophies" is disgusting and no better than being racist or sexist. But other than that, no there is absolutely nothing selfish about not wanting to have a child. Knowing this is what you want and choosing not to be a parent shows good personal insight and there are plenty of children in the world to make up for it.

[@justbeegreen]

I agree, we need to include children in most but not all places - that are appropriate - and including them in most places is how they learn how to be part of a community. However parents need to be proactive and teach children how to behave in these spaces because their behavior affects others. For example, on Mother’s Day, we were out at a fancy restaurant, some parents brought their child and their iPad to the table and for the entire time we heard a children’s show blasting that entire time. The grandparents seemed aware and embarrassed by this. Those parents lost an opportunity to teach their child how to behave in a restaurant. Their child didn’t interact - just watched a show, meanwhile the rest of the people surrounding this family were irritated. Granted, the waiter or manager should’ve told them to put it away, get some headphones, or pay a little extra for a private room. Children learn how to be part of a community by BEING in community. If parents aren’t doing their job to teach and support their children in being in community, then institutions and spaces have a right to have child free zones. ALSO, I do not promote integrating classes: martial arts, dance, etc there are reasons why children/teen/adult classes are separated- developmentally appropriate and ADULTS need ADULT only zones - kids need to look forward to/work towards these milestones. Plus, some adults who work or live with children need a break from them too! 😊❤

[@kristinaatgreenmeadowswede6714]

Choosing to be Childfree is not selfish ..... And orhers complaining about childfree couples can go mind there own business and let other people live by their choise! 💖🤗

[@anabell7184]

cats > kids

[@helenawoods]

[@ppsspp7986]

Trueee

[@TheEmpressgoth]

Thank you for sharing your. freedom your choice plain and simple .

[@janedieuart]

Each to their own. Having my daughter has made my life wonderfully rich, and by having just one (not by choice) I've managed to keep a balance, and now that shes 12 I have plenty of time for my own projects. The best thing was seeing my husband become a father...it made me love him even more. There is no right choice...just what's right for you, but life is very long and family is everything, especially when you get older.

[@erinkrizay6056]

I’m just happy this exists! #childfreebychoice

[@French-o8u]

"Une maison sans enfant est un jardin sans fleur."

[@angelm795]

Not being snarky just genuinely curious how would you feel if you and your husband split up and he started a family with someone else? Would you feel any regrets for not having children? I have seen this scenario play out several times and it is the most heartbreaking since usually the woman is at an age where children are not easy or an option and almost always see regret sink in.

[@thomaslawrence6353]

My comment before watching the video; No, it is not selfish to not have kids.

[@Sazza97___123]

Honestly I think it's more selfish to have children. There's already 8 billion people in the world, not to mention global warming and the rising cost of living. I don't want to bring a child into the world with the way things are now.

[@audreycaruso8111]

Agreed, same here..

[@yaminigaur1394]

I support you its your choice your life, you know better

[@angelalakes]

Y'all are smart! I believe we do need to keep the discussion going so more people become aware that they have choices. Sadly, so many people have kids before they learn what it really means- how much they change and complicate your life. And if you have a child with special needs, mental illness, and addiction, multiply that by 100. If people stopped romanticizing having a baby and thought about how difficult this lifetime commitment can be, they might choose differently. I love my guy more than anything and am glad he is here, but it has WORN ME OUT, and my care of him isn't ending anytime soon.

[@justbeegreen]

Growing up in a capitalist culture such as the US - healthcare costs, education costs, and just cost of living are astronomical. I am a demoralized educator, and I am fed up with the system I work in and the greedy culture that I live in. I feel our culture is so messed up… so, why would I want to raise a child in a culture that is so counter to my value system - it would be a tough battle - and we’re taught that we’re consumers first and citizens second. I’m too counter culture to want to raise children in the US. I would love to be a mother but I don’t live in a culture that values families (and I’m including all diverse family makeups), women’s autonomy, and children. Our culture does not have the safety nets in place, such as universal healthcare and two year paid parental leave, affordable day care, affordable elder care (currently care taking a parent). So, I am a “childless cat lady” by choice. Plus seeing the breakdown of mental health (not just post-Covid) affirms my choice that our culture is still messed up. But I have hope if we continue to put people and planet first, perhaps we will see some positive shifts in my lifetime - if not in my lifetime (gen x), perhaps in the near future. I will continue to fight for what’s right - even though some people live in states with draconian laws. There is still a tiny sliver of hope… oh, and climate change is real - so why would I want to contribute to it and bring someone into this time to witness and grieve for the demise of our planet? 🌍 ❤

[@michelleglidingswan4334]

I totally agree with everything you say and thank you for releasing this.

[@betsywilliamsonasmr]

To me the childfree by choice movement is really about actually considering whether you want kids or not. Not just a biological drive but all the other factors. I’m childfree by choice. I love the life I have lived so far and it would not have been possible if I had a child. Plus, I never had a biological drive to have one.

[@anadu187]

This was very interesting and informative, my friend groups and family all believe that having children is the default and going childfree by choice is a strange concept... It was nice to hear the other perspective. I would just add at 5:40, the overpopulation claim is a myth. There is no evidence to suggest we wont have resources for everyone, since humans are resourceful, complex and ultimately dont mind sharing. There is over-population in certain countries, but opposite to that the most developing countries have the problem of under-population. So i believe we shouldnt burden ourselves with the question of overpopluation.

[@kawaiiwitchbaby]

Also am childfree. Known since by the time I was like 10 years old. Late 30's now. I know what my reasons are and they are all valid to me. However, I have always lived by the motto never say never --- but I just don't see me ever physically having a child. (Every time I have dreamt of being pregnant/having a baby its always like a total nightmare!) I had always thought IF I wanted one and wasn't married I'd just have it on my own but honestly no I don't want to do it on my own! Also I worry so much about my dog and cat that I imagine the level of anxiety I would have worrying about my kid at all hours I'm not with them. I would probably need to go on medication! Then how the world is and where it will likely go forget it. I do question couples who go all in on having children - because I do hope that before they get married or make the decision to try for a baby what if you CAN'T have a baby? What if you exhaust every option available to you and the end result is no baby? What do you do? call it quits? I feel I've seen more selfishness of couples(who flat out refuse adoption) doing 10+ rounds of IVF or egg retrievals so much debt and no baby and then you hear they are getting divorced. Or even sadder they do get pregnant but its a sick baby. Now, you are in for a whole other worry of someday you may die before your child and who will take care of them? I have met a lot of really good parents over the course of my lifetime. I have also met many people who should NOT be parents... Was talking to a lady a few months ago who said she was desperate to get her tubes untied to have another baby just for the tax credit since she would be losing out next year when her oldest turns 18. I am NOT joking.

[@Will67267]

As a conservative, the main reason to get married is to have children, but it's a free world and you can do whatever you want.

[@delightfullydotty7130]

Your husband seems like quite an extreme intj. I’m envious🙂

[@jsavannah123]

I got my tubes removed a month ago and I am 27 child free and unmarried

[@johnsjourney4978]

People who really think and they would be the best best parents usually we decide not to have them!

[@helenaalexandra1786]

You are not selfish for not wanting kids. It would be vanity to have children just bc “you’re supposed to.” THAT is wrong. And ppl contribute in many different ways to this world ❤️ Just look at you! Think of all the people you’ve influenced in beautiful ways, and they in turn influenced bc of an inspirational video you made -clearly many more than you can count.

[@Loupdelou-ly1ve]

I'm 51 and have been with my husband (54) since I was 15. We don't have kids - by choice. In all that time, I've only had to "defend" our choice to not have kids twice, years ago - once to his mother, and the other time to his paternal grandmother. Both times I shut them down tout de suite and it never came up again - not in front of us, anyway. Oh! And if you're worried about climate change - here's a quote from The Spectator ".... But not having a child, in the developed world at least, saves 59 tonnes (tCO2e) emission reductions per year. So having a child inflicts far more harm on the planet than all the jet-setting and steak-eating you might do: it wipes out any climate good we can as individuals hope to achieve during our lifetimes.16 Oct 2021".

[@jilllinda5181]

I agree with every single thing that you said ...and then there is the Tim Walz approach... mind your damn business 😂

[@kimberlylilfox4996]

It’s not selfish.

[@Georgecostanza1020]

I love the selfish argument. Like anyone has kids for the betterment of society lol. Ask them to say a reason they had kids that doesn’t start with “I wanted…”

[@laurasalva7256]

Helena: This is at least the third time you have spoken about this topic, defending your choice to not have children. You DON'T have to defend your choice. It is your life. Do what makes you happy. There are many married people who chose to be childfree. Defending your choice makes it look like you are not at peace with this decision or are defensive about it. Just live your life. Do not care about what other people think. I have a child, and he is the joy of my life. But I also know many people who chose not to have children, and they lead incredible and fulfilling lives.

[@helenawoods]

I'm no defending. A LOT of people message me everyday thanking me for these videos, people are afraid to talk about this. So I WILL. That's all ;)

[@helenawoods]

I will loudly and proudly be a voice in the childfree by choice movement. I have many more videos I'm going to share too :)

[@laurasalva7256]

@@helenawoods I am glad you are not defensive. You would be a good voice for the childfree by choice movement. Love seeing you being you and your channel!!

[@skyescarbrough4654]

One could argue that many of the problems in this world have been directed by selfish people who’ve had children and have done a really shitty job raising them. That’s selfish.

[@ozsabers1111]

"Im not willing to make that sacrifice" "Its a huge commitment" "There are too many tradeoffs" Just a few of the quotes that have come from this video. Yet you feel that childfree people should be celebrated. Celebrated for what? Not making sacrifices? It makes sense to celebrate mothers day or fathers day. Its a day to honour the sacrifices our mothers and fathers have made. All the times they drove you to school, all the meals they cooked, etc. But childfree people should not be celebrated, there was no sacrifice involved and nothing to honour.

[@CactusCowboyDan]

Childfree people are leaving room for those who want kids. You’re welcome….

[@Georgecostanza1020]

@@ozsabers1111 It’s not a sacrifice. It’s a responsibility.

[@MrMighty0z]

@helenawoods I think the obvious, yet suppressed fact, is that a whole lot of kids are the product of narcissistic parents. Seriously, look at how many people have kids and then try to make them into little ‘mini me’ versions of themselves. Is there anything more selfish and narcissistic than creating a human and then trying to make them into a ‘clone’ of yourself? I think not. Cheers and loves!

[@someoneanyone365]

You’re 1000% correct! Example: I’m the eldest of 3 copy and paste “mini me” daughters born to narcissistic parents. These 29 years have been….well. You can imagine. I’ve had a lifetime of neglected medical conditions, mental health and autoimmune issues, etc. I always thought I definitely wanted kids (was a full-time nanny for 12 years to 13 kids) but I don’t have enough support (no “village”) and taking care of myself is hard enough as it is most days. This is such an interesting/taboo topic!

[@MrMighty0z]

@@someoneanyone365 🫶❤️

[@csadams404]

I most likely will be childfree for life as I don't feel like raising kids unless I marry someone quite wealthy and don't need to worry about the cost of children impacting my desire for early retirement to pursue creative projects, but I have to say realistically in a world of declining birth rates (which our current economic models cannot support - basic population growth is an assumption of our economic growth which in turn is a basic assumption of how we fund our retirements as well as pay off national debt) that it is selfish. If we had births at replacement rate or above it then forgoing children would not be. But that's just how I view it, and we do a lot of selfish things in life, like buy an iPhone or clothes that were made by people overseas in horrible working condition or eat meat (I do) which requires animals to die.

[@4seth]

😑

[@helenawoods]

Enjoy, Seth!

[@vanna6147]

I congratulate your choice, Helena, for being childfree. But I feel that you’re making this final decision now because you know that if you decide to have kids, it needs to be now, in your 30s. In your 40s it’ll be hard to biologically have kids. For your husband though, I’m really concerned that he said ‘you can’t know for sure’ and that he’s 99.5% positive? Well, what happened to the 0.5%??? Men can change their mind and decide to have kids when they’re 60 or 70. Would you be OK that he has kids elsewhere if he changes his mind?? I’m guessing since he’s not 100% sure, he’s not considering a vasectomy? If he wants kids in the future (0.5% chance), what will you guys do then? Have you guys talked about it?

[@helenawoods]

Alex knows I am certain I don’t want kids. If there was a time where he changed his mind, we would separate. Children is a serious topic and if a couple doesn’t agree on that, it’s silly to try and make it work. But I’ll let Alex respond and comment back to you though, don’t wanna speak for him ;)

[@alexwoods9521]

The point here is that while I might possibly be open to it in the future, there is no burning desire to have kids and there probably never will be. If it doesn’t happen with Helena it won’t happen at all, I’m not going elsewhere to have kids that’s preposterous lol. I’m quite happy with not having kids. That’s all! :)

[@vanna6147]

You guys are lovely! Thanks for responding. I’m rooting for you guys. I hope that all the couples out there will see that it’s alright not to have kids and your life is worth nurturing also. ❤️❤️🌈

[@jolanda3692]

Egoistisch is het om nu een kind op de wereld te zetten

[@johnsjourney4978]

Is this guy relatives with Ralph Macchio?😂

[@lw4423]

LOL this guy is 100% going to dump you in 10 years and have kids with a younger woman

[@rc9272]

Populations are in decline because people choose to have fewer or no children at all which poses major financial problems for countries. Not having children Is short sighted to be honest. I don't have a problem with anyone that doesn't want to have children bc you will pay a price like everything else. You will be alone in your elderly years and in need of help and will have to manage on your weak old aging self bc no one around you cares. No one will be there to stop you from eating molded bread, or stop you from eating with sh it on your hands because you forgot to wash your hands when you went to the bathroom, among other things. I'm childless too and having dealt with my elderly parents and seeing friends dealing with their elderly parents has made me realize that I will face getting old, sick and dying which is a long process (not like the movies) by myself. Enjoy now bc things won't stay the same forever.

[@CactusCowboyDan]

You’re having a go at childfree people and yet you don’t have children yourself. This rant is basically projecting your own insecurities and hurting only yourself. PS: It’s actually more short sighted to have too many kids in a world that’s overpopulated and has no sustainability.

[@Georgecostanza1020]

My mom’s retirement home is filled with old lonely people with kids complaining about never seeing their kids. My mom tells me this. Being alone is different than being lonely.