Married monasticism!

In his forward to a recent edition of a collection of writings by Eberhard Arnold, Stanley Hauerwas wrote about the Bruderhof saying, "“I would think this community is best understood as a form of married monasticism.” My thoughts on that.
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About Me
I'm a young mom living in an intentional community called the Bruderhof, and vlogging about what that's like.
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I used to vlog on the Bruderhof channel. See all my old videos in this playlist:
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What is the Bruderhof?
The Bruderhof is an intentional Christian community of people living in radical discipleship in the spirit of the first church in Jerusalem. We gladly renounce private property and share everything in common. Our vocation is a life of service to God, each other, and you. Learn more at the Bruderhof KZbin channel: ► www.youtube.co...
More info is at:
► Website: www.bruderhof.com
► Instagram: www.bruderhof....
► Twitter: www.bruderhof....
► Facebook: www.bruderhof....

[@md9680]

Your noting the book cover art made me notice the painting on the wall behind you, which I really like. Wonderfully colorful !

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

thanks! It's a favorite and I have it hanging somewhere in my house all year!

[@lisaeshleman754]

I LOVE the Franciscan friars and Sisters for Life!! A little jealous you all get to host them!! They bring so much joy into this world :)

[@ekaterini2957]

Dear Laura, One of these days need to send you some reading after hearing this -- just keeps showing me how wonderfully connected the Bruderhof is to the teachings going back to the early church (pre- schism, pre-denomination, when it was just the church, the corporate body of God's children). God bless.

[@ruthlaurie-hopper3489]

I love your videos, so uplifting Laura during these covid days. The world out here is pretty toxic. I came from divorced parents it is terrible for children. I am still looking forward to visiting bruderhof in the UK. I believe too in commitment and monastic life which creates strength and emotional stability. Our society is broken on so many levels. I pray each day and God answers my prayers giving me strength to continue to live for my daughter. I find joy after prayer. Life is more manageable. I think bruderhof is my future.

[@joetrester3139]

Being very familiar with Trappists, there are, indeed, many similarities in living in community as you do. Most people would find from the outside that you are living in a Utopia. But living in community is hard. There is nowhere to run and hide. Things have to be worked out. Love as defined by Christ is hard but the return is amazing! You pointed out kids but overlooked the reason why kids are there! You have both men and women in your community and some of you are married. Obviously, not true in traditional monastic life. I admire all of you for the vows you take and the hard work you put in to be a beacon for the world!

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you Joe!

[@denisejones1863]

On the topic of distracting children. I also followed the singing distraction. This is used in day cares everywhere, such as circle song, put away your toys song, singing at nap time. Also singing a song your child knows and likes is helpful. I would sing the ABC's song to distract my child in line at grocery store when we would have to pass all the candy! Also works for tantrums.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Awesome!🤗

[@suzanneedmonds1566]

I have also found that replacing the names of children in a song in place of the usual subject of the song will engage the child more. An example is 5 little monkeys song - with a few small changes I will sing " 7 little children jumping on a bed, Jose fell off and bumped his head, his mommy/Ms. Brown/grandpa phoned the doctor and the doctor said no more children jumping on the bed". I have also sung it as "climbing a tree Journey fell down and hurt her knee". I have also sung many a song about a variety of topics to the song "Here we go round the mulberry bush". "This is the way Xander washes, his hands, ........... before he eats his lunch/after he goes to the bathroom". 😀

[@saraschneider6781]

Distraction does not seem biblical when the Word speaks of keeping awake.

[@ReluctantPost]

I'm delighted that you covered that concept, Laura. From the very first brotherly agreement among Anabaptists in Bern, Switzerland, 495 years ago, the focus was on what _daily life_ they would live together, not what would constitute their Sundays. I would broaden your concept to say that the Apostle does advise that monastics preferably ought to still be singles, with many choosing that lifestyle (1 Cor. 7), but that he also includes the married within that concern and instruction (vs. 29). These were famously incorporated together by the Old German Brethren at the Cloister in Ephrata, PA (now a preserved state historical site) with single men's and women's facilities in the center and the families surrounding. There have been numerous ways of arranging this from the days of Acts 4, and despite claims to the contrary, not all of them holding an absolute communal or communitarian structure as several comments of the Apostles themselves indicate. (In my view, the most serious criticism of Arnold's book, _The Early Christians in Their Own Words_ , is that very early portrayals of non-communal arrangements were excluded from his account.) That said, different hazards are inherent in different arrangements, and one of the hazards in non-communitarian settings is that, even though the same vows may be taken to Christ and His Church, it is much easier to slip into "Sunday church" mode rather than living life together day-to-day. In contrast, one of the demonstrated hazards in monastic / communitarian settings is believing that God is pleased with our frequent wealth and conduct of our finances just because we have made an official renunciation of them personally, however we may benefit from them or battle each other over them nonetheless. Eph. 4:28 and similar passages don't get set aside or re-written just because we are acting together rather than separately. Blessings to you...

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you for your thoughtful response!

[@fagnant2]

Our Pastor was arrested and setup with one of the largest Baptist Churches in RI because he was conservative. This is a dangerous world we live in.

[@karliouellette8942]

I love this! I'm a Catholic with a strong interest in Benedictine spirituality and your way of life seems very Benedictine to me

[@D.N..]

Your community is a witness that living according to a biblical understanding is not only possible, but very full filling !

[@nataliejones2400]

I'm currently on a long term visit at Spring Valley Bruderhof. I was recently invited to share a snack with the "90" club (ladies 90 and up). When I mentioned your videos they were surprised. They have never seen any of your videos. I think this might be a good one for me to share with them.😁. Keep doing what you are doing, I don't think I would have had the conference to leave everything and come to the Bruderhof without watching tons of your candid videos really preparing me for what to expect.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

That is so great! Didn't know there was a "90" club. Sounds like so much fun. And thank you for your kind words.

[@N4T93]

We have a tooth brushing song, a dressing song, a put your shoes on song... The list goes on, but it works! 😂

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

😊 awesome! love it!

[@davidjamieson59]

I really appreciate your honesty, particularly with somethings such as your feelings towards those issues that you may struggle with, though I also admire your commitment to God in your submission to Him. I liked how you equated your membership vows to the Bruderhof with that towards the commitment vows to your husband Chris, it actually helps to explain it in a way that most people can understand.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you so much!

[@suebillingham8181]

I love listening to/watching your videos, Laura. I seem to have missed this one. Very helpful description of Brudehof life. I agree not easy to do what you are told! However, when you trust your leaders & have confidence they are following God's guidance it must be easier! When you talk about taking time to think about a direction it sounds as if you have time to come before God to confirm the instructions. As a nurse I have to follow instructions that I'm not always happy about! In church life we make decisions for the good of the whole family.

[@rebeccarichardson6761]

I love what you said about how children see other people as God does - I think you're right! There's just an innocence there and openness

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes! Children are the best

[@suzanneedmonds1566]

How very true, they are not worrying if this person will like me, if they and another person are equals, children don't look at what another person is wearing or how they speak and then make a judgement about the person. Children are curious and will ask a question straight out rather than try to find out information in a roundabout way because they are worried about being seen as critical, judgemental etc. Adults often come from a place of their own perceived self worth, in the main children are not filtering the world around them based on how they value themselves. Sometimes the rules adults live by create more problems than they solve.

[@paulschryba4029]

Laura- thank you and your community for bearing witness! As I understand, the original monastics never started out to live some 'special' kind Christian life- but ,recognizing their weakness, to flee to where it was possible to live a truly *intentional* Christian life and not be drowned in the shipwreck of the "secular' society. Over time, formal institutional Christianity became more and more 'watered down' and the expectation for truly *living* a life according to Christ were lowered. At that time, 'monastic' life was then considered as a call only for special people. *Every* Christian should be focused on Christ alone in the circumstances of their 'ordinary' lives, as monastics are in the circumstances of their lives. A monastic, or intentional Christian community such as the Bruderhof, attempts to provide a formal structure to be able to more fully live an ordinary *Christian* life. And so it is in these challenging times, *all* of us are called to surrender fully NOW, each moment, following grace if humanity is to continue. Blessings and peace.

[@johnlusty5375]

Good reasoning. Still Benedictine Oblates but had to let go of the hierarchical subjugation as they have become too secularised to remain in communion with. So had to seek solace in the desert. God bless !

[@Spillers72]

Being single at the Bruderhof would really be close to monastic.

[@gwynethgrove772]

Thank you for your videos, they are so interesting and cover some difficult subjects, yet you speak so freely on them. It’s refreshing and honest. You are a wonderful teacher.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you Gwyneth! Stay well

[@rajinevin7273]

I love your furniture! And is that YOUR painting on the wall behind you??? That is so gorgeous!

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you! I wish I could say that that is my painting, but my sister painted it for me as a wedding gift!

[@janesmith9024]

Very good points. Applying that to ordinary families outside in a sense we do that many of us - the family tie will never go; we will always help each other no matter what. Good values.

[@FatherMarty]

In the Eastern Orthodox Church, of which I am a priest, the marriage service doesn't have vows. Rather, the service is called a crowning, and literal crowns are placed on the heads of the couple, and they are "crowned" for each other. The crowns are crowns of martyrdom. The couple is martyred for each other. After a time (typically 8 days), the crowns are ceremonially removed - the challenge is for the couple to live out the crowns they have had, and still possess, so that they may have their crowns returned to them by Christ in the Kingdom which is to come. Many people, myself included, see Christianity itself as a monastic pursuit, whether in community or not. The "typical" vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience apply to us all, summed up by Christ who said, "Deny yourself, take up your cross, follow me." Poverty is knowing that nothing in our care or possession belongs to us, but rather belongs to God. Chastity is preserving our worship for God alone, and our intimacy for the partner we are crowned to. Obedience is to God in all things, by dwelling in each moment and being willing to follow Christ. From what I can see, the Bruderhof formalizes that relationship, making it a covenant with God and with the other individuals in the community, but it truthfully an example of what every Christian follower needs to strive toward. The blessing of God on you and your family and community!

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

That is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that!

[@ANNEM90]

I found a ebook version of the book on amazon (original version) really interesting first few pages. Thanks for recommendation.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

You're so welcome!

[@zappawench6048]

There's a book called "Children of the Mind" by Orson Scott Card, which in part is about a monastery of married couples, but they aren't allowed to be sexually active with each other.

[@gigijordan8960]

I love, love, love the friars. So cool!

[@chazchillings3019]

I love that blue color from your blouse:)

[@joannhernandez9884]

It’s interesting how, no matter what topic you talk about, I always learn at least one thing. For example, Singing a song to help distract the children. I will try that. I really like the painting behind you. Did you paint it? 🥰

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

thank you Jo Ann! I learned that singing trick from a good friend. So she gets all the credit 🎼😊 And the painting I got as a wedding gift. I love it too!

[@amypearsall]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof So the painting would be able to go with you, if you moved to a different apartment/house in the community? In a different video you mentioned property is shared.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes I would take the painting along. We do share everything but we also have to be reasonable about things lol

[@hondafreedom9329]

I have to ask, is this painting on the wall yours too? If so, oh my gosh, it's so beautiful! (Your videos are calming and inspiring.)

[@johannesdekoning9521]

Wonderful testimony!

[@pizzanicretime]

I wish I knew your skincare routine! As always I love your videos

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Oh thank you!

[@rev.carlosparada4353]

This book is awesome!

[@julianfuster]

Hi Laura . I'm glad to hear that You are franciscans friends . I always realted your community with st. Francis without knowing that. Btw, your vows are a truly example to follow christ . I think all Christian have to do the same . God bless you ☺️

[@Noone-rt6pw]

Oh, in the Orthodox with married couples, it's called a Skete. I only heard of one. But like Bruderhoff living out the Christian life as a community, it's a good thing. As the world often is in opposition to.

[@elizabethmorton4904]

Laura, I find your way of life very attractive. I've always longed to live in intentional community - I think I would find it so freeing (although such a life might seem the opposite of freedom). But here is the hitch - I am one-half of a very faithful, committed, marriage between two women. We are members of the United Church of Canada, and were married by that church back in 1996 (we celebrate our 25th anniversary this year). Our marriage could not be registered with the state then, but it has been since. Unfortunately, however much I might in all other ways be a good match for your community, I gather I would not be welcomed, given the fact of my same-sex marriage. BTW, what would your community say to those of us in same-sex marriages? Do you think such marriages should be ended? I would be interested to know.

[@prudence100]

gosh i Love your videos

[@sjloudon]

Would you be willing to answer: what are all the jobs you've had in adulthood?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yeah sure I'll have to think it through and answer in a video 😊

[@sarahswandell6403]

Laura, I once heard a member of the Bruderhof say that the community is very intolerant of gossip--that at the faintest whiff of it, it is snuffed out, if at all possible. She said it's because of how destructive gossip can be. Would you agree with her? Have you posted any videos about this, and if not, would you mind making one? I am so drawn to the idea of a community being almost free of this vice (as challenging as that would be), and am curious how that gets lived out. Thanks! (from a fellow Christian but a non-member)

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Sarah that's a great question. It's true that gossip is very destructive in a community like ours because then you can't trust each other. I have to be honest that it does happen but we are committed to helping each other by not doing it or listening to it. Good video idea though!

[@TereRivera1980]

Hi Laura, I want to learn more on how to involve my kids in chores, and how to involve myself more in their lives...this is something I really want. Can you direct me to some books and maybe share what you guys do. Thanks!!!

[@emmib1388]

something to consider -- give them age appropriate chores -- bringing out the garbage, setting / cleaning the table during meals, making their beds (start young and as they get older, it will be neater - resist the temptation to fix their beds when they first start out ) putting away toys, pretty much any household chore can be done by age appropriate children ... how to get involved in their lives? Listen to them -- spend time with them --- when they are younger - take time from chores and play games, read, sing, etc. the chores will be there ... the children grow quickly! Even sharing chores is a time spent with your children ! -- Oh, and don't forget outside chores -- they can help with that as well!

[@TereRivera1980]

@@emmib1388 thank you

[@emmib1388]

@@TereRivera1980 and like it was mentioned in the original video -- when you are able , make up songs.. Like when they are young "time to clean up, clean up"... it makes it a fun activity for them.

[@cynthiaconrad6145]

Very interesting.

[@suzannal6047]

I have deep respect for anyone who commits their life to following Jesus!! I try myself 2 Follow Him in my normal life even though I have many disabilities and my husband is not a believer but I'm praying and it is hard! I wanted to tell you I love love love that painting that is on your wall behind you! Did you do that Laura? It is very compelling it draws you in to it! Would love to see it up close! God bless you and your family with peace of Christ!

[@nederhood9192]

What is good for the kids is good for the rest of us. But no one remain a kid forever. They are evolving and their needs do vary with the advancing years. But the good news of the gospel is that we are approaching an age of timelessness and we can be as happy as the kids, forever.

[@emzadia]

That picture on the wall is stunning, Laura. Did you do it?

[@livinginthenow]

I was admiring that painting too! I know it really has nothing to do with the message of the video, but I'd really like to know where it came from. I really like the style of it, the use of color in contrast to black, a sort of abstract take on sunlight through the trees. I find it beautiful. 💖💖💖💖

[@emzadia]

@@livinginthenow Laura does art, so I'm hoping it's her original. 🙃

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

No it was a gift - copy of an Erin Hansen

[@emzadia]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof Ah. I'd love to see more of your work.

[@___Laura]

I am not religious, but I watch all of your videos because I find your view on life very interesting. I actually agree with so many things you say, I just don't believe in God.

[@nataliejones2400]

I've been visiting the Bruderhof for a little over a month. You wouldn't believe how many people here came to check it out coming from your exact situation. They believed in 'right living' but not necessarily in a supreme being. Everyone here is in a different place in their walk. I highly recommend visiting for yourself.

[@mmmmlllljohn]

What a great painting on the wall - is it yours?! ❤️🇨🇦

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

No it's a copy

[@jamiepoems]

Hi Laura it mentions being married to another in Romans 7 verse 4

[@mailill]

I have a question that might seem kind of harsh, but I am kind of struggling with this topic myself (even though I don’t define myself as a believing Christian): Do you believe in Divine intervention and protection in your life? And are you praying for intervention or for protection when you have problems? Or maybe ask God for something material that you feel you need, and that is not provided by the community right now? And if you do - and if you feel that God indeed does help you in getting what you want or feel you need, or protects you from danger - how then do you reconcile the idea that God helps _you_ and protects _you_ and is interesting in the minute details of _your_ life, but still let so many other people suffer horribly, and did not protect so many people from e.g. the Holocaust or from bombs in Syria and Libya, or from slavery and trafficking? Or with the knowledge of all people who are homeless and/or suffer from hunger or illness or natural disasters or accidents, and see their children suffer, and who does not get Divine intervention? I have met Christians who are sure God gave them a bike they wanted, but isn’t that saying they think they get special treatment from God, and that they are ok with it? And is it really plausible that a good and loving Providence will help one person a lot, but let so many others suffer?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Great question. Will try and answer in a video.

[@mailill]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof Thank you! :-) I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic.

[@stillyourb]

This is such a good question...and I believe God gives wisdom when he is asked so I will be praying wisdom for you and that you get peace, even if the answer doesn’t look as satisfying as your heart desires. In the end we can trust (by his word) that he is loving AND just AND holy and will work it together for good in the end for those who love him. Jesus himself suffered much, but the suffering is never wasted. I look forward to Laura’s video and hope it will point you to specific scriptures. Peace to you.

[@chefevilee9566]

So do you all have the same views about Mary and the Saints as the Catholic Church does? And are they treated exactly the same as the Catholic Church treats them? With the same practices that the Catholic Church participates in involving them?

[@sorenlorenson8327]

No not at all.

[@chefevilee9566]

@@sorenlorenson8327 Do you live in one of the Bruderhof communities? Because on the Internet yesterday I found out that basically Anabaptist people are the Amish, Mennonites and some others I can’t remember because I wasn’t familiar with who they are. Is that true?

[@emmib1388]

@@chefevilee9566 Amish and Mennonites are two other groups that fall under the Anabaptist beliefs :-)

[@chefevilee9566]

@@emmib1388 Yes it is all confusing. So what do you think Laura and the Bruderhof are?

[@emmib1388]

@@chefevilee9566 they also consider themselves Anabaptists - they are only living in facility formerly owned by a Catholic organization -- they do not have the same views on Mary and Saints as the Catholic Church would have. If you are interested in more , you can go to the website for Laura's community or just search Anabaptist for more info

[@ekaterini2957]

how does one send things to you? I realize you will share/give forward anything sent (just thinking to send books as below) and that sounds great, but do you have a po box or a place items can be sent?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

I live at the Mount Community www.bruderhof.com/en/where-we-are/united-states/the-mount-community

[@shirlandcardinal2038]

Do you have hobbies and if so, how do you fund them? Materials, supplies etc....

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thanks for asking! Yes, people have all kinds of hobbies! I love drawing and painting. Chris enjoys fishing and the great outdoors. If you need something--supplies etc. you can request it and usually you get it (that is if it's not something too extravagant like a Lamborghini 😊😁)

[@shirlandcardinal2038]

Lol, thank you for answering so fast, love your videos.

[@susanyates4233]

Dear Laura - some time ago you posted a video of your wedding, and now I cannot find it. Has it been deleted? Love and best wishes from Susan in UK.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

This one? kzbin.info/www/bejne/q3qXf6amgtKDfMk

[@kadmii]

Do you do anything with New Skete in Cambridge NY?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Nope

[@taradarlington4454]

Hi Laura. I’ve been so intrigued by your videos and I appreciate your willingness to teach and talk to us about your life. I would love to talk more with you if that is possible, do you perhaps have an email or a public social media account that is open to accepting messages right now? Kind regards and may God keep your soul kind and your heart healthy 😊

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Tara if you email [e-mail] they can put you in touch with me via email.

[@martharyniak7990]

You said you have 3 dogs in your home (neighbor's dogs). Who pays for the dog food and vet visits?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Community pays for all that

[@Louise-os8xc]

does the bruderhof believe that non-christians can get to heaven w/o converting? also wonder if the bruderhof allows pets or your thoughts on animals

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

I have no clue who all is in heaven but I expect there will be many surprises

[@marywipf2737]

Nice nice. Say Hi to Asnath & Anna fr crystal for me ...keep up the goodwork

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

I will!😊

[@kalakakku7749]

Singing makes work easier

[@Adriana-vp1rm]

You will own nothing and you will be happy. Orwell.

[@denisejones1863]

I feel this is what seculars want when they say Socialism would be better than capitalism. Yet, you are based on the teachings of the Word of God and follow the teachings of Jesus. No secular can do that, they are corrupt and all society's have failed due to the greed at the top. I'm happy that you have a this life, yet it is just a handful of people who can obtain it.

[@Noone-rt6pw]

Oh, in the Orthodox with married couples, it's called a Skete. I only heard of one. But like Bruderhoff living out the Christian life as a community, it's a good thing. As the world often is in opposition to.