The Anatomy of Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating is the blurring of a lot of lines. What starts as a friendship can quickly become an intimate, addictive relationship that corrupts healthy priorities. This video explains why they happen, how they work, and why they are so addictive.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
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[@lindacathey9654]

Nail on the head!! Sure wish I could have gotten my late husband to listen to this! He had a best friend/work wife. This video describes what happened to a tee. He had a heart attack at work and died before we had everything resolved and it tears me up. I hope somehow he knows that she went partying at the casino the night he died.

[@SharonKBM]

This is heartbreaking but very helpful information. Thank you ❤

[@tabathajc1981]

All I can say is that this describes my marriage to a T. It is unfortunate that spouses or significant others have to go through this. I am currently in the middle of it and feel like the 3rd wheel in my own marriage. We have been together for 15 years and mostly good things happen in our relationship which we have grown. However, once I became disabled it all changed.

[@matinaki1644]

Just think if the same had happened to your husband, what would your reaction be?

[@marshallrobinson1019]

I don't have enough information. I believe my former wife was doing this. It started while we were dating. After she and I had texted our goodnight messages, I received an unexplainable text message which said, "come by my house." I didn't ask her about it, but I should've. Weird things happened during our marriage (like her former bf moving into a nearby apartment) and various other things. I recommend being willing to confront your significant other about their behavior before you've lost a decade or more.

[@beegee5305]

OMG ... you hit the nail on the head. My beloved EX BF of 3 years would be ever-available for this "friend" half his age. Sidenote... he knew I was looking for a new road bicycle to do centuries on the weekends with him. He gave a woman's size road bike to his "friend" instead. He was not transparent at all with the "friendship". He started taking her out on, what the average person would call "dates". He excluded me and if I asked to go along he would say NO and I would ask 'why not'? His crazy making reply was "based on your energy". Huh??? I finally had enough of it and said he is welcome to do what he wants but in order to continue to be with me he had to sideline her. He agreed (to pacify me) and then the next day he came over and said that he wasn't going to "throw away" his "friends". (Oh good one, just lump her into the category of all your guy friends!). I said "Fine then you made up your mind, leave! He tried to Hoover me for a long time but he never mentioned anything about "the friend" not any resolution. If it were me, I would never want to lose what I had over some infatuation. I would also respect my significant other for stepping up to the plate with a boundary. It would indicate, to me, that they value what we have.

[@ambergerman8504]

My husband told me he's sexually attracted to me but is being a gentleman and letting me initiate it. We went from having sex to all of a sudden it stopped. His work hours are sketchy and his paycheck isn't what it used to be. His health insurance sent a letter explaining his insurance if he was legally separated or divorced. So many red flags but he has an excuse for all of it. He's very protective of his female coworker and treats me like shit all the time.

[@mightyea]

I was the wife of a husband like this. I didn’t realize how close they were until we were going to buy a house where my credit wasn’t good enough so he offered her to co-sign. I had never met this woman, we were separated from each other.. Long story short, I felt like a second class citizen as a wife rather than the friend.

[@heisenberg1683]

Same with my husband. He treats his coworker very well. He is very gentleman and sweet to her or other women but treats me like a shit. He is only good if he feels guilty

[@solagratia7998]

Time to evaluate your marriage. It might be time to leave.

[@mickboyce386]

And that's exactly how it happens

[@yeahright3733]

I don’t understand any of these videos. I am single and have been single for 25 years, and these videos are frightening to me as to how badly people treat each other in marriage. No thanks! I will stay single for the rest of my life.

[@KH-fv3vq]

Abstinence is key!

[@toobalkain]

don't. Everything in life is a trade off and being single has its advantages but it's ultimately unhealthy and against our very nature, instead you should understand that relationships are hard and complicated and take a lot of work under the best of circumstances and choose wisely rather than fall for the first person giving you attention.

[@consumerextraordinaire8209]

As if you had a choice

[@gloriaprice8179]

You are wise indeed!

[@thefrozengoat]

Wish I knew then what I know now. I’m in hell. If you have the emotional strength to stay single then you’re better off. The odds of finding a truly faithful person that won’t destroy you are getting slimmer and slimmer. Best of luck to you.

[@mightyea]

Ive been on both sides of this and 15 years later I am now the friend.. Over sharing, not having boundaries. I was lonely, he had free time regardless we are here trying to break It off.

[@pipergunderson-swaney4539]

Husband finally apologized 4 years later- however now six years later I hear him telling his friend how I must be the bad one- since he never kissed her or anything like that- I must be the cheater. So the apology was a lie. And I had to tell his friend- he was telling her he loved her- he ditched me and my kids to go to her house for a drama she had going on- then a year later when his brother died he was liking her boobie pics online- when I saw he blocked me and said I had a problem. Then I walked away.

[@brightpage1020]

When they use familial language about the new “friendship” like they’re confused who their real family is. It’s because they are. Wishful thinking.

[@danavest]

Sexless marriage for over ten years and after she moved into another bedroom I bought a life like sex doll and now she’s accusing me of cheating on her

[@dantepearl4186]

🤣

[@namboy2233]

Great Advice! @9:21: Wondered if she meant to say: "barring all else," you protect and love and are transparent with each other. Seems like being in affair fog is like temporary insanity or in a drug/alcohol addiction? The ability to think rationally is gone, and they refuse to listen to any advice.

[@regondi]

What is it called when for eight years of your marriage, yes, you read that right eight years, your wife has had deep feelings for someone else? It’s caused her to be resentful towards me, jealous, emotionally distant, and the whole thing culminate in a craigslist love letter she posted stealing all her feelings for him how much she misses him how much she loves him. Then several years after the fact you find out about it. What do I call that? I’m going out of my skin over here. She claims she loves me and that’s all in the past but there’s been some weird activity in my gut. I just don’t feel somethings right. She said she was never with him which I believe, considering he lives four or five states away, they were high school boyfriend girlfriend however, I don’t know if I can believe her when she says there’s been no contact.

[@lorrainelegg-coleman811]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@burnsgayle1643]

Thanks, that's great information.

[@MKA63]

While I respect your work, 100% of these videos, don't look at the perspective of the friend. That's the friend who would never cross the physical boundaries unless there was a dissolution of her existing relationship (I'm talking about boundaries and ethics combined). It doesn't stop the friend developing feelings though, and I can tell you from experience it hurts like hell when you get stonewalled.

[@paulbrooks2024]

One of two things to do ,stay or leave or do your partner like you have been done funny it break the cycles of the first part

[@Adlovett83]

Wow.

[@lindamateri9906]

It’s his go to his habit his want his entitlement , his right

[@HabitualLover]

I thought the title said emotional eating. That’s my problem at times- I have the Doritos cheese fingers to prove it, right now. Dunno how to ax it.

[@OceanOfLight]

Lol maybe cut down on smoking 420?

[@barbaragonzales4796]

Wish the transcript had punctuation and correct words/spelling.

[@jessicaderosa9625]

Can you make a video about my case?

[@toobalkain]

how's your case special, Jess?

[@edwizard62]

Gorgeous❤

[@shorthanddeal]

So am I wrong for my asking my husband to see the text between them?

[@padwan67]

No

[@mimir2488]

If he has nothing to hide, the conversation is on his phone.

[@mariahnix6934]

I have a question about this cheating. Because my boyfriend believes that I was emotionally cheating on him and I feel like I was but not in the way that he thinks I was. Because in this point of our relationship we were together but he was not talking to me he was not calling me at all he was not texting me I was not going to his house anymore he was not going to my house I did not see him for at least a month. He said that it was because he was having a lot of mental health issues but he didn’t tell me this until we started talking again. Actually I was still talking to him I was trying to call him I was trying to text him and I would tell him good morning and good night and things going on during my day because I wanted him to know that I was still there and he could talk to me because he had not made any signals to me previously that he was not interested in me or he wanted to break up. And at the time I was looking for somebody to talk to because I wasn’t sure if we were going to continue seeing each other anymore because we weren’t talking. So I made a private secret Instagram account and reached out to somebody we know but I did not tell them who I was. I’ve asked for advice on what they thought I should do and I explained my situation and concerns. And I think I only talk to them that one or two times never expressing any sort of romantic intentions or interests because there was none I only needed somebody to talk to anonymously. He later found out about this a year and a half later while we were moved in together and he was going through my phone for whatever reason. And just saw that I had another Instagram account on my phone that I did not actually log onto but was just linked to my other account somehow because I never use that account on my phone since we moved in I have gotten a new phone since then. And have not thought about this much since it happened. He claimed that I was emotionally cheating on him and I was literally scared for my life and I felt so numb in our relationship that when I thought he was going to shoot me in the head and kick my body into a creek and drive away that morning I accepted it and I actually still wish that had happened because I think about dying a lot anyways as opposed to either staying in our unhealthy relationship or being alone or having to live with my unhealthy parents. I feel like I have to turn my emotions off when I’m around him:/

[@mrs.christiehannaalexander33]

Please, for your physical, emotional & mental well being & health; GET YOURSELF A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL &/OR A TEAM OF MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS! I am praying for you & hope that you are able to get through this very difficult & trying time in your life 🙏!