Why Some Affairs Last for Years

[@HoneyboyDes]

Being in an affair effect both participants: a married woman suffers Guilt, and the single male participant suffers abandonment, when she is with her family, but the chemistry is so strong that both continue the affair.

[@WW3_Soon]

I had a 14 month emotional affair with someone in a chat room. At first, it was exciting however over time, I became less interested in her as her bad habits were revealed.

[@stephanie7572]

Some of Mary Jo's insights are valid. But what she gets wrong is elevating "the marriage" to be some shining spot on a hill that everyone has to aspire to. It's the strength, endurance and validity of any relationship that's most important whether it be a marriage, an affair, an fwb, or whatever. Some affair partners are happier and more in love than many a married couple.

[@MaryJoRapini]

That is not my intention at all. What I preach is to take your time prior to marriage, confront and resolve your own demons and don’t move in together until you are engaged! Marriage is a sacrament and once you say “I do” Make your life about honoring your vow . This is what I say.

[@SaystheTruth3]

Agree!

[@Anonymissus]

@@MaryJoRapini actually personally i don't think anyone should move in together unless they're married (which is different from being engaged but I'm Christian so ofc my pov is different but I think this is a smarter and wiser decision)

[@iairarea]

@@MaryJoRapini excellent reply and of absolute truth MaryJo

[@susanjones8489]

Who wants a committed relationship with a married man, and why. You can’t trust them, for starts. As the saying goes, and it’s deep “ the ending is in the beginning “ Some woman have their fun and move on, leaving his maintenance to the wife.

[@MsEnglishPrincess]

Another saying I like is “you lose them how you find them”

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Maybe they are wealthy and give them gifts and money

[@WW3_Soon]

Some young things like being a home wrecker. Per chance, he leaves his wife for her, in time, he’ll cheat on his mistress.

[@iairarea]

Thank you for this video MaryJo. This was a very informative and educational video with clear and precise explanations to which I now understand the many emotional and psychological dynamics of affairs.

[@WW3_Soon]

Some married men only pursue married woman rather than single women.

[@ShaunyP26]

Only women hold on that long, whether they’re married or not. They just get suckered by the guy one way or the other.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Only the wealthy ones

[@susan9188]

​@@MarkSummers-g2n What absolute bs.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

​@@susan9188so you would date a poor man

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

​@@susan9188you like poor men

[@josephsnearline2022]

The last one you mentioned fits my situation. My wife told me it was easier to just stay in the affair and wall it off from the rest of her life than break it off with the risk that her AP would make good on his threats to blow up her entire life. In the end, that’s what happened. She tried to end it and he texted me to out her.

[@edithtierce8209]

And I would expect nothing else from a man who would enter into a relationship with a married woman honestly. Like what man really wants to share a woman with another man??? NONE unless he likes the control bit all gives him over her……

[@Steve-hs5le]

100 percent of the time the person committing adultery has flaws.

[@MissNamaSlay]

We are all flawed so that’s Beyond true 😅 what else is true ?! Has nothing to do with the person whose cheated on!

[@melvinbirdman7438]

So do their spouse. Everyone has flaws. That will never change. Don't judge.

[@azmarigold]

Chilling.. & toxic as (serial ) cheaters leading a double life tend to rewrite marital history

[@JA-jm8bk]

Who doesn't have flaws, lady?

[@melkerner]

Pretty sure my Wife will stay with her cell phone until she dies alone, with it in her hand - If only she touched me as lovingly as she does her phone.

[@karlareadstheclassics217]

I'm sorry. That must be painful.

[@Lauren-i8i]

❤

[@ShaunyP26]

Fucking divorce her. It’s not worth it. We deserve better. Mine had an 8 year affair.

[@lolliisabusdriver.4447]

This comment makes me sad but I understand. I had to check to see if it was my husband that said it. 😂

[@SaystheTruth3]

Going on strong in a two year affair. He's married & I'm not. We are reunited after 24 years ago. We broke up due to him joining military. We've always loved eachother. Social media brought us back together again. I don't want to marry him. I understand 100% that he won't divorce her. I've been married before and don't want to again. I have totally accepted this . ❤

[@MsEnglishPrincess]

Why does he choose not to divorce his wife? I’m just curious because my husband joined the military 24 years ago and it turns out he’s not been 100% faithful so thinking about putting him out of his misery and divorcing him. The main reason is his latest one and him have SO much more in common and I know she would make him happier than I do. Their “friendship” over social media made me uncomfortable but he carried on behind my back, do I care about her? No I don’t particularly but it’s the lying snd lack of respect and sneaking around while i stay home with our kids so he can thrive in his Air Force career and travel. I don’t think having an AP is all bad as it can enrich that married persons life but u don’t want to be the third wheel in his life anymore. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@MsEnglishPrincess]

* I don’t want to be the third wheel

[@SaystheTruth3]

@@MsEnglishPrincess Exactly it might enrich his life by me being back in his life. I am all for it because I love him deeply & want him to be happy. It's not a competition. I feel like deep down she knows about me. She doesn't have to work and solely depends on him for absolutely everything. If she divorces him she loses that & might have to work a job God forbid lol!

[@MsEnglishPrincess]

⁠@@SaystheTruth3why does he choose not to divorce her though? Hope you don’t mind me asking if he’s talked to you about it. Do you know her too? Do you guys have a plan in place incase of a D Day? As a wife I’m telling you that she most probably does know about you because you always get that gut feeling and affairs do change how your spouse is towards you so alarm bells are for sure going off if not already. I chose to turn a blind eye for a while because our son has a complex medical issue and was diagnosed while he started this thing with her so my mind elsewhere. I’m not from this country either so feel quite trapped. Other than being a cake eater I don’t see why mine hasn’t filed for divorce so it will be me filing because what kind of life is it being with someone who lies and sneaks around constantly? He’s told me he cut ties with her but I doubt very much so he has. I feel like if the other woman knows there is a family involved and is taking that risk too then they can navigate and restart their own relationship from scratch without the lies and out in the open. I also believe if a husband can lie to his spouse he has no problem doing the same to his AP. No shade thrown at you just my thoughts as the wife!

[@basilleavesandhoneybees483]

Shame on YOU!

[@fowzero]

Going on 6months right now with a lady i struck up a conversation with. I originally did not know she was married and when they came clean about it, it doesn't bother me.

[@basilleavesandhoneybees483]

So you are ok sleeping with a woman that you know is still sleeping with her husband too? Gross!

[@rjdavis7503]

Affairs are a double life. I cannot live a dble life. To do that, you have to lie, lie and lie some more. Then you yourself loose reality of truth and honesty and become a lie. At that point, you have condemned yourself to misery in this life.

[@rodesa87654]

What would say happens if the wife get pregnant and the baby belongs to AP?

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

The baby can be adopted by people who aren't them!

[@themick6586]

My wife had an affair and got pregnant, I refused to accept the resulting child, she put the baby up for adoption and when the adoption was finalized I divorced her . She made her life the mess it is and of course accepts no accountability.

[@rhondagood6095]

My husband was in a 17 year affair with a non married woman. He ended it went no contact and is committed to our marriage.

[@billringer4420]

Yeah. Right.

[@melvaofosu376]

With all due respect, How can you be so certain of that?

[@susan9188]

No he isn't. I assume he got found out, and if he hadn't? You see what you want to see. No one has that long affair and isn't in love with the affair partner. You're deluding yourself unless you can read his mind.

[@mariefricchione437]

Yes he’s in love but sometimes they realize kids are suffering. If that occurs then he may return but it’s never the same of secure. Unless you both get long term COUNSELING AND GET TO A PRIEST FOR ADIVE SS WELL.

[@mariefricchione437]

Sometimes the just want out after long term affair.

[@harmonyvaneaton4101]

The thing is, most people who have long term affairs are abusing their spouse and kids to make space and cover up the affair. Financial, physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse is also experienced by most cheated on spouses (and kids). Oh, and then all the health destroying STDS and infections, because he couldn't bother to use or or even SHOWER in between.

[@susan9188]

STDs 😂. Most APs are totally loyal to the married man.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Men learn how to compartmentalize two separate relationships not to intersect. Sometimes wives aren’t treated any different when the husband is at home. This can last for years .The children aren’t affected either people protect themselves against diseases and pregnancy that doesn’t stop just because there is an affair. Affairs are wrong either way but are extremely common.

[@hersheykisseys]

Just look at Charles and Camila

[@rjdavis7503]

Affairs are addictive. Sex is addictive.

[@ladyd8897]

I’m in relationship for five years now with a married man. Not married myself and they don’t have kids. Yes, I’m putting pressure on him.

[@basilleavesandhoneybees483]

Grow up and stop acting like trash!

[@Gotoworkkk]

Well, if he really loves you, he’ll divorce her. It’s good they have no kids bc that can get sticky… good luck to you! ❤

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Why don't you have an affair with a single man who lives with his mother! vs a Man who lives with his Wife and Kids!

[@basilleavesandhoneybees483]

You are trash to get in the middle of a marriage and you both Are extremely immature! If he wanted out, he would have ended it! Life is not that bad at home if he’s still with his wife!

[@jenniferschauf4970]

Why with a married man and then to put pressure on him to have a divorce? Sincerely that's very sad. People make mistakes but to go on that many years in a mistake hurting a marriage. I hope that you find somebody that's not married even for yourself. Look how long he's done this to his wife and you. Do better for yourself. I'm sorry for all the pain that comes with all this

[@nikopalmer6471]

You can still be volunteering and be an outstanding citizen while having an affair haha ❤