Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC: Distracting Casino guards (all 45 variations, all companions)

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[@Bubbabob145]

Urdnot Wrex. Warlord, Hero, Food inspector.

[@elisabethhawke2040]

I'M CRYING XD

[@MrPsych77]

Bubbubob145 he is the ruler of all krogan he can give himself any position he wants

[@gyorkedani5531]

Bubbubob145 and father of all Krogan

[@Whoami691]

Nobody knew he'd be his OWN food taster! 😂

[@titanjakob1056]

He saved more lives eating food then shooting lead

[@happylittletree1727]

Married man turns down hot spectre. Respect.

[@Spider-Man2094]

The guy then returned home to his boring sexless marriage and bitch wife wondering what could have been.

[@ordersmilitant5998]

Happy Little Tree Respect indeed

[@Verdugo_Arulaq]

He’s a faithful loyal man who ain’t got time for these thots or Williams.

[@MultiTwentyseven]

@@Verdugo_Arulaq who IS a thot, i like her though

[@codyblea3638]

Little do we know, his wife is an Asari diplomatic envoy and he keeps working security because he doesn't want to feel useless.

[@lafken2]

"Sir, please don't cry."

[@hushthebow9472]

that was the best fuckin part

[@Damocles16]

Stop crying, or we're gonna call the "food inspector" over there .

[@KennyG881]

Mordin would've been ideal for this mission. He never shuts up, so he would've been a perfect distraction for the guard.

[@connorcaldwell588]

Mordin: Guard, would like to report missing person. A salarian, red complexion, wears white uniform. Guard: Sir, have you been taking red sand? Mordin: Did you know Turian horosk mixed with ryncol explosive if consumed by varren when... Guard: I'm sorry, but you're talking way too fast, sir. Mordin: [Singing Mozart] Guard: Sir! Please, settle down. You're a fine singer, but this isn't the time or the place.

[@fluffychan6000]

+Connor Caldwell perfect!

[@josesuarez7484]

This reply is gold.

[@philipped.r.6385]

+Connor Caldwell Best reply I've seen in months!

[@Manoto17]

Oh god, MORDIN, why did you have to die on me buddy!

[@ZenaidaZeal]

This guy better be Employee of the Month.

[@Spider-Man2094]

He turned down Ashley for this, he better fucking win.

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

I think the character is voiced by Travis Willimham.

[@WolfhoundMercenary]

More like Employee of every Month.

[@hinglemckringlebury4335]

Employee of the cycle

[@jackharper1655]

"No, no... please, sir. Please don't cry." Kaidan owns.

[@foiltarmogoyf6203]

Lol I've never heard that before. Liara talking like a southern bell was pretty funny too

[@YoungMrBlue]

*”you owe me money”*

[@nukesova7150]

"no sir please don't cry..." XD

[@uyentang4571]

too bad he's dead in my book :P

[@fanfictiondreamer7836]

@@uyentang4571 Oh, I think I'll find a way around that

[@Rangernewb5550]

Hazer the lazer? Heh, I almost didn't recognize you. *YOU OWE ME MONEY*

[@54lolman]

"I'm sorry.You have me mistaken. Please step back."

[@crazedauthor98]

I choked on my pasta at that part. XD

[@IncredibleFulk1]

I love the quickly added "You owe me money."

[@jellyfish1213]

I love Kaidan xD I was laughing so hard about that

[@mackblack4843]

PLEASE DON'T CRY

[@Luxai]

That guard has fucking seen it all.

[@raptorjesus3894]

Garrus, always looking to calibrate something

[@CrescentGuard]

Ashley: I'm gonna act like a drunk diva partygirl (and probably actually get drunk while I'm at it). Tali: Just play cute, maybe occasionally use my race to play with it, that should do the trick. Vega: Okay... okay... I've seen spy vids. I can do this. Garrus: Ah, this can't be too hard, just ask for advice periodically and play like another one of the guys. Done it plenty of times before. Wrex: You want me to act subtle? You're serious? -Sigh- If you say so, Shepard. Javik: I will make the ultimate distraction by educating these people on how pathetic their cycle is. Liara: Move over you amateurs, let the professional handle this. Kaidan: I have no idea what I'm doing.

[@patrickhallett6220]

Yep, that’s pretty much the personas they’re going for. And they all do pretty well at it XD

[@simple-commentator-not-rea7345]

For Kaidan, I was imagining something more like "Well, I AM a Spectre now. And Spectre's are universall; Infiltration is worth practicing."

[@scribejay]

@@patrickhallett6220 That they all go in with 100% confidence is so much of the humor.

[@johnmayernick9561]

Absolutely spot on, mate.

[@jakeadnams]

This.... This...... This is........ AMAZING

[@1stcaptainraldoron538]

I love how Javik just fails at trying to impress.

[@stan_the_man618]

+Carter Gates I like how he still has his guns equipped hahaha.

[@Arthus850]

+Stan_The_Man And I love how he didn't pull them out after the guard called him fake.

[@EvilPaladin11]

Javik is awful at being subtle

[@rosygarrido]

He gives no fucks

[@Torthrodhel]

In my cycle, we had no fucks to give.

[@jeramahia123]

Wow. A guard who doesn't suck at his job.

[@PsyrenXY]

Except he kinda does. You have to be professional AND not easily distracted!

[@DanQZ]

It’s a high end place so they probably have higher standards

[@ede9177]

I've been a guard for three years and it only just occurred to me how often my profession gets made fun of. Even by myself for that matter.

[@KopperNeoman]

​@@ede9177Remember to check UNDER suspicious cardboard boxes.

[@JessieJay7]

And suddenly, Liara is southern XD

[@calhoun24]

Lots of planets have a south. (lol)

[@JessieJay7]

Unfortunately I don't watch dr who....

[@calhoun24]

Kevin McGechie Yeah, I kind of borrowed and altered it. Jessie Jay In the very first episode of the modern series of Doctor Who, the Doctor's companion asks that if the Doctor (portrayed at the time by Christopher Eccleston) is an alien, then why does he sound like he's from the North (Northern English accent). The Doctor's response was "Lots of planets have a North!" Just apply that stretch of logic to other species, and it's not so far fetched.

[@JessieJay7]

Ohhh okay I get it now x3 thank you for explaining lol

[@Mister_Kourkoutas]

CBunye Which then makes you think "there are some planets which *don't* have a North?!"

[@themedia1271]

Tali's distractions are the only reasonable ones. But the rest are just damn hilarious. That security guard deserves employee of the month.

[@klillym1461]

He really does 😂 although Garrus had a couple good ones

[@s.m.2523]

I'd say Liara is pretty decent at it too.

[@moviemaker199]

@@s.m.2523 Liara is a _freaking_ professional at distracting! As the Shadow Broker she is, I wouldn’t be surprised.

[@stevie_ily]

"No, no... please sir. Please don't cry." Jesus that one knocked me out of my chair.

[@AlexandrZaytsevet]

Imagine if you were an oblivious guard and had to deal with them all in one night. It's almost as bad as working in retail.

[@glittergrasshopper1144]

OMG, imagine it as a movie scene, where the instant he gets rid of Garrus e.g., Tali comes up to him, and then Ashley right after Tali, and they keep reappearing wearing wigs/sunglassed with the tab still on... That'd be hilarious xD

[@PsyrenXY]

little pyromaniac LMAO

[@DaireBulson]

"That's it! I quit! Either that or we never have a party here again. I'm tired to dealing with weirdo guests..." -Guard

[@NickCorvello]

just a regular saturday for me. #retail

[@glittergrasshopper1144]

Nick Corvello you win

[@Colbio]

I kind of love how supportive the guy is to Quarians. Seriously, it's kind of a background thing, so it's not really at the front of your mind the whole time, but alot of people just hate them. Basically think they're all thieves. Seeing this guy more or less drop what he's doing to help Tali is actually pretty heartwarming.

[@GenericUsername-qp1ww]

Considering how the idiotic quarians were responsible for how the geth turned out I have no sympathy 4 them

[@been_rly_n2_paragliding_lately]

Eh idk, seems more like good customer service at a high-end establishment. It's a nice thought though.

[@YoungMrBlue]

It’s physically impossible for anyone to hate Tali Except for that one Turian clerk but he probably got killed by the reapers when the citadel was captured anyway

[@TheMeta141]

might have something to do with unleashing a hostile synthetic race on the galaxy

[@lewismartin3430]

​@TheMeta141 and yet no one gives the salarians flak for unleashing the rachni AND the krogan.

[@CitizenKahne1992]

Tali: "I was told there was varren racing here, but I'm having trouble finding it." Tali, it's literally 2 feet in front of you. There's even a big glowing sign hanging above the table.

[@kuramakyuubi8483]

+CitizenKahne1992 trust me that prob happens alot.. lol

[@raptorjesus3894]

+CitizenKahne1992 You know how people say about missing things with neon signs? If the Varren Racing had a neon sign, it would actually be harder to find.

[@KahavaveCAPIPI]

+CitizenKahne1992 I take it you've never worked retail? If you had, such a situation shouldn't have surprised you.

[@CitizenKahne1992]

+Unus Domus No, but I do work as an airport greeter. And everyday people ask me "where's this door?" and "how do I get to this terminal?" even though there are signs clearly posted around the airport.

[@DorianMichaelsIII]

+CitizenKahne1992 I took it from her tone of voice that Tali was trying to fake being drunk.

[@KurtTijamoMusic]

Good guy security guard turns down Ashley Williams to maintain his marriage.

[@mrcodypettit]

+kurtwinterhalter If you read the tittle carefully it says "distraction "

[@40kanon]

mrcodypettit Yes but he didn't know. The guard is a faithful man.

[@scribejay]

I mean, if you, security guard voiced by Travis Willingham, were married to Mass Effect character voiced by Laura Bailey?

[@jakeadnams]

He obviously saved Kaiden

[@NefariousEvildoer]

"I need to look at your basement." "Uh... is that code for something?" XDDD

[@PsyrenXY]

Between that and the "private bathroom" comment, I think they did intend James to be bi

[@AndrewFullerton]

@@PsyrenXY for some reason I used to think he was a male-only romance option, maybe just because of how much he overcompensates with FemShep.

[@truesoprano2152]

i think i have a new favorite mass effect character

[@FluffyNinjaLlama]

+TrueSoprano Employee of the year that's for sure

[@fluffychan6000]

+FluffyNinjaLlama so professional!

[@xanderfulton3186]

I like that everyone’s first dialogue to distract the guard is some kind of clever small talk or Ashley showing off or pretending to be drunk. But then Kaidan is like: “Do you wanna be a Spectre?”

[@sergiosalcedo5111]

And yet he probably was the most effective one. He got the guard's full attention and interest. People like to sleep on Kaidan but we can see how profesional he is and that he also knows how to play the game, when to act cool and when to act the fool.

[@lostjedi3380]

You know, this place is surprisingly progressive if they treat Quarians nicely.

[@deltaomega2136]

I was going to make a comment on this. The remark at the 4:00 mark seems to imply it's not just cause she's with Shepard, apparently they've had them in before.

[@thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989]

@@deltaomega2136 I mean. There are rich quarians, why wouldn't a casino let them in?

[@maxpotapenko4632]

@@thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989 Quarians are like khajiits, no matter how wealthy they are, most often they are treated like no good beggars. Well and I don't think there are a lot of wealthy quarians, since most of them are on the Migrant Fleet, some are on the Pilgrimage and only so little don't come back home

[@thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989]

@@maxpotapenko4632 yeah but like, a casino wouldn't really care about that, because they're trying to swindle you out of your money anyway

[@BarelloSmith]

Or surprisingly regressive, considering that the Quarians are basically the space Nazis of the Mass Effect universe.

[@kevinbernardini9176]

Imagine this guard when he returned home Wife: Hey honey, how was your day? Guard: I've met the funniest people in the galaxy

[@masterblaster3508]

Watch it be a quarian lmao that is why he is so nice.

[@finvaly]

And then his boss died, oops

[@OhDatFilipinoKid]

The Liara country accent...I CAN'T LOL

[@Bowiiihowdy]

Almost doesn't even sound like her

[@ArdanTheHalfDragon]

"I am I Prothean! What do you think of that?" Javik seems to be adjusting to this cycle rather well.

[@themadhammer3305]

Ah Javik the trollthean at it again, he also seemed amused that salarians evolved away from eating flies, that the asari learnt to read and that humans stopped throwing rocks at wildlife

[@ghekor]

John Box I still think humans throw rocks at wildlife..well the wildlife is bigger and the rocks are frags but same thing :D

[@austinbutcher8106]

Honestly I'd get fed up by everyone saying I'm fake, I'd be doin the prothen experience sharing thing. AlOT

[@JAYDOG1337A]

0:20 HA, that bit with garrus, "sir I am definitely not an expert

[@TMNTno1fan]

Garrus had me giggling, but that response had me ROLLING

[@Eszti1218]

BTW, does anyone know if he uses this distraction even if you're not romancing him? Because if you are, you're like "Um, I can hear you. I like flowers, by the way."

[@FluffyNinjaLlama]

Eszti1218 He uses this distraction even with male Shep so definitely doesn't need to be romanced :D

[@JAYDOG1337A]

FluffyNinjaLlama huh... what if... maybe... DR CHLOE MICHELLE ?!?

[@quarkyquasar893]

+JAYDOG1337A No, its Tali.

[@mioangst]

There goes Garrus with calibrating again. 5:01

[@Blazieth]

Damn it, Garrus...

[@phantommangagirl]

I couldn't stop laughing at that.

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

oh boy, here I go calibrating again

[@IllusivePrime]

It's Garrus' version of Shepard's "I should go."

[@destinedtwo8295]

liaras vioice on that "is there somewhere I can make a private call. it's very important." sounded so country

[@julietsmith5925]

Or Texan.

[@lukedeakin7124]

She became a southern belle

[@TheSpartan451]

Ashley is a fucking master at this.

[@_tyrannus]

TheSpartan451 If only she could be a master at escaping nukes.

[@commando6261]

turarwanaa Savage

[@floricel_112]

You just know in high school/college she was the popular girl

[@starshipshari]

@@floricel_112 apparently not, she'd stay home watching over her sisters

[@DaLucster72]

@@_tyrannus can’t have a post complimenting Ashley without an mood killer reply explaining they killed her in their play through.

[@EmilyHillgoddessofthunder64]

Javik: Human, I met your ancestors long ago. They were living in caves throwing rocks at wildlife. Guard: We remind guests that some of our drinks contain hallucinogens. Please drink responsibly. I died XD

[@fightwarrior9932]

He trolled the troll.

[@aw2584]

I require your attention! IM A PROTHEAN! What do you think of that!? It cracks me up idk why, everyone else is making some shit up to gain the guard's attention and his dumbass is just like HEY LOOK AT ME

[@moviemaker199]

@@aw2584 Uh-huh. You’re the fourth one I met this week. Though your costume is better than the rest.🤨

[@bluesrike]

Guard pulled a "Go home, Prothean. You're drunk!"

[@psychronia]

Since Wrex is basically the king of Tuchanka, could he scribble up some credentials for himself on the spot and make himself an official food inspector?

[@MillyDel]

"I'm going to have to see some credentials" "Here" "Sir, this is just a piece of paper with 'I am a food inspector' written on it"

[@littleregg3164]

+Mara Dulog that would be perfect

[@masterkillerfluffy]

Psychronia probably.

[@tacticianM]

I bet he would eat the food when he got in

[@5223142]

Shepard: Wrex, this isn’t part of the mission Wrex: What mission?

[@LiquidIronTV]

Mike Hazer?! Hazer the Lazer?! Hah! I almost didn't reconize you! You owe me money... (Best Line Ever)

[@rotoseraph3727]

This guard knows how to react to anything. Shepard: Harbinger, go distract that guard. Harbinger: I will direct this personally. ... Harbinger: I am the harbinger of your perfection. We are your genetic destiny. Guard: I'm sorry sir, you are not allowed to preach any religion within the premises even if you have a valid evangelical permit. Harbinger: I am Harbinger. Guard: That imitation is not funny sir, I would kindly request that you refrain from those kinds of jokes here. There are guests who have friends on Earth or Palaven. Harbinger: Assuming control of this form. You will not stop me. Guard: This isn't that kind of place sir. I think you will find that the lower levels of the wards will be better able to meet your needs. Harbinger: Human; viable possibility, impressive genetic malleability. Guard: Uh... Thank you for the compliment?...

[@orionrolater2812]

Made my day. Where can I get THAT mod though?

[@willl676]

Damn this comment is gold! What are you doing down here?

[@voidimperial1179]

I want this as a mod

[@IllusivePrime]

How about the Illusive Man doing it?

[@florianechesnais]

I. Fucking. Love. That. Guard.

[@Cassandra_Solidor]

Ashley pretending to cry over a break up is pure comedy gold.

[@blackheartthedarklord6428]

The fact that I accidently romanced her in the first game and then romancing Tali in the other 2 games, this is too accurate.

[@felipedamiani8845]

@@blackheartthedarklord6428 I romanced her and then miranda in The next 2 so she might cry for real too 😂😂

[@Nomad958]

uhh she not

[@zaphodlucs]

"you owe me money" that delivery is fucking perfect. I wanna hug the writers for this DLC

[@cyrussmith_1656]

Kaidan: I've lost all my money, how do I get it back? Security: That's not how it wor... oh no, please sir, don't cry.

[@lafken2]

James: "I need to take a look at your basement." Guard "... Is that code for something?"

[@geoffrey111995]

Javik the Trollthean wins again.

[@rosygarrido]

Savagery

[@TheBeastlygrrl]

The guard is so adorable. He puts up with so much.

[@xsz03]

"I could have sworn there was a volus brothel upstairs" LOL Tali and Liara are doing a good job. That's why they're boring. Kaidan and Ashley and Garrus tho? Brilliant

[@mattj2081]

Liara has a couple entertaining ones.

[@aguspuig6615]

i think Tali gets a pass because shes speaking like a watchmojo top 10, like ''did you knoww i saw someonee i think they miiight be cheatting''

[@anyanka1059]

"I'm with the varren anti-cruelty association" lmao

[@erettew]

Tali instantly won over the guy heart with that cute performance; Javik is hilarious to the point of tears as is Kaidan:" Please sir don't cry." lol

[@krushhhh]

Wrex: I need to look at your kitchen. I'm a food inspector. Guard: Uh... I'm going to have to see some credentials. *brings out his shotgun* Wrex: How is this for credentials?

[@PaiSAMSEN]

Guard : "We remind all of our guess that weapons are prohibited in this place. You must put it away or I will have to call for security."

[@rae6075]

Yes that is very “subtle”

[@ravenblood1954]

That guard's voice acting's incredible xD

[@bell6437]

Raven Blood That's Travis Willingham for you. I didn't see the date of your comment until after I wrote that.

[@ZeroResurrected]

I like to imagine that this is the job Mustang had before being promoted to Colonel. Then again, Mustang would never turn Ashley down.

[@EvilPaladin11]

He also loves dogs.

[@Bowiiihowdy]

@@ZeroResurrected thats where I've heard him before

[@erbgorre]

you gotta picture the team meeting at bioware where everyone presents their ideas for these lines. i cant imagine anyone not dropping to the floor at "hazer the laser", or the guards "is that code for something?" line -.-

[@TTTLLover18]

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THAT WAS TRAVIS WILLINGHAM UNTIL HALFWAY THROUGH. holy crap now we know where Roy Mustang ended up.

[@NeutralObjections]

+Isabella Gandy I knew I recognized it somewhere. Good ear!

[@EvilPaladin11]

But does the guard love dogs?

[@kreigguardsman3355]

I cannot unsee this. I guess his rise to Furher was rough

[@MsYunaFires]

I have watched HOURS of Critical Role, like 85% of C1 and all of C2. And I had some 'this sounds familiar' vibes but he absolutely slipped by. Good ear!

[@aleksandarvil5718]

No *Tiny Miniskirts* reference???

[@SCI-FIWIZARDMAN]

Aaaahhhh, Ashley has the best distraction lines. I bring Tali anyway, because I'm sleeping with her and we almost never get to go anywhere nice what with the race of giant genocidal sentient calamari-shaped starships invading the galaxy and the seemingly-never-ending stream of people lining up to shoot us, but Ashley's distraction lines are just hilarious.

[@cobaltcrysis2085]

Yeah. Giant sentient genocidal squid robots harvesting the galaxy might get in the way of a relationship.

[@1stcaptainraldoron538]

+Cobalt Crysis I am suddenly unable to take reapers seriously anymore.

[@lostfan10000]

+Carter Gates The Catalyst ruined that for me.

[@zerogbot23]

I never could, i've always seen them as giant evil squids.

[@KopperNeoman]

​@@lostfan10000Knowing anything's motivation makes it less scary automatically.

[@Spider-Man2094]

2:48 Ashley's melt down, best one.

[@firestorm165]

That was just plain evil. And absolutely hilarious

[@theactionman007]

I lost it too. Especially since Shepard is right there.

[@Alex-vu3dm]

Liara's fake accent. OH MY GOD.

[@Necroskull388]

I like how most squadmates try to just consume the guard's time with something completely insipid, yet Javik just brazenly drops a bomb on him.

[@luckyj.7951]

'They don't pay me enough for this...' Favorite line ever :D

[@ailluh]

Liara's country accent is so cute omg

[@swolbrohamlincoln9659]

Volus brothel lmfao!

[@karlyr259]

These were all pretty funny but damn, Wrex's "food inspector" and Kaidan's "you owe me money" made me laugh pretty hard.

[@nicholasemjohnson47]

Samara: Guard, you should know that I'm a Justicar, and my Code compels me to kill anyone who commits the smallest injustice. Guard: Oh, no. Um, listen... this place is perfectly legal, Ma'am. And we make sure there is no violence here. Okay?

[@selenagallegos4297]

Oh my God! Liara's southern accent. Lol

[@Dorano121]

Garrus's line about the volus brothel killed me.

[@blueturtle3623]

I love that Kaiden's method of distracting the guard to avoid getting kicked out by getting in trouble, is to go up and try to _get kicked out by getting in trouble._

[@hatsuharu333]

I laughed so hard when I played this DLC - totally worth it HAZER the LAZER? I almost didn't recognize you! ... You owe me money. LOL oh kaidan. 4:39

[@nathanielgarza9198]

Pretty sad no one would ever hear it

[@mistersmiley9425]

"I"m a food inspector!" Fucking lost it.

[@chaosrex1487]

Wrex the food inspector!

[@gittonsxv]

i like how in this dlc alone they have over a hundred different scenes and variations but the ending has like 3 options...

[@Cremon342]

I found another one! Well.. I missclicked at my first playtrought.. nothing happend and than I saw some kind of "Stargazer"

[@NightOwl1515]

Just like the trilogy!

[@janeshepard6318]

Just like the base game!

[@GoddoDoggo]

It actually has four. Or one, if you're like me and can't bear to do anything _other_ than shooting that little shit each time.

[@Luke_Danger]

You know, for a "simple soldier", Ashley is fucking awesome at acting on the spot as a distraction. Should of had her for leading the distraction team in the Suicide Mission :P They were all insane, though. Especially 7:20 ; did Liara just take advantage of the stereotype of asari promiscuity as a DISTRACTION? O.O

[@hansolo235]

Yep.

[@KopperNeoman]

The stereotype is well-founded. Most asari maidens ARE at least somewhat promiscuous. All the more reason to pretend you're not different for a moment.

[@miltongeorgina]

Ashley is Awesome! "Feel my muscles!" omg that's the best. haha

[@Blazieth]

Ashley is a fucking MASTER at this. Acting drunk, fake crying? Good god.

[@nekolordnito4931]

*Clap Clap Clap*

[@Xfushion2]

Tali has the best distracting lines

[@benharrison3569]

neh ashleys are best only cause she is drunk like f*uck

[@MrHarindrakvidya]

Tali has a lot o best stuff in ME

[@jassjake5137]

You sure? Loved Wrex's lines. "I need to check your kitchen. I'm a food inspector."

[@DorianMichaelsIII]

Jass Jake The funny thing is, Wrex could probably name himself one if he wanted (since he is effectively leader of the entire krogan race by ME3).

[@GenericUsername-qp1ww]

nope. Not even close.

[@GamerX13X]

So many highlights, but Garrus 1, Southern-Bell Liara, and Ash/Kaiden getting the guard's hopes up are some of the best.

[@tommywhispers7477]

I doubt Garrus asked that question just to ask the guard

[@generalmaul4615]

This guard better be in Andromeda, I require more of his banter

[@julietsmith5925]

Maybe his twin brother went

[@snakestone9739]

Legion: "Does this unit have a soul?" Guard: That's a...pretty deep questi- wait a minute, mechs aren't allowed here! Who let you in?!

[@leonie8525]

"I'm sorry sir, but we aim to entertain our guests. Not put them in a coma." 😂😂😂

[@thelistener365]

That one was my favorite lol

[@SamuraiMorshu]

This guard is the best part of the DLC, I want him as a crew member.

[@xo7746]

I want him to have his own game.

[@patrickn.4113]

@@xo7746 Mass Effect: Guardians

[@aguspuig6615]

lets be honest, i think Kaidans are the best here, the rest can pretty much rely on their ract, or say something very mild, but Kaidan faking hes about to cry is just gold

[@QuarterCentum]

I think Tali was the better at distracting, didn't call too much attention.

[@FalconWindblader]

But the point of distracting people is to call as much attention to yourself as possible...

[@Interfector0]

@@FalconWindblader The point is to call the attention to yourself AND be able to leave unmolested, in this case, without having to leave the premises. Things like Wrex's food inspector line are admittedly hilarious, but can get you the wrong sort of attention.

[@CallofDutycommentate]

The one guy who doesn't flip over a Prothean in his presence. Self control.

[@KBABZ]

3:51 This is EASILY the best one

[@thedgzgames427]

Nah 2:48 is the best one.

[@cobalt-6D]

Nah 6:00 is the best one

[@warhawk9566]

What's with Liara and the Southern Accent?

[@SamuraiMorshu]

Never realized how much the game needed an Asari Southern Belle until now.

[@justin13594]

I had to watch that part 3 times just to make sure I heard right o_O

[@Solaxe]

Funny how only Americans recognize different accent, I hear no difference.

[@warhawk9566]

***** well of course it's part of the act but what I mean is. Why a southern accent? Why any accent? She's an Asari, what does accent do?

[@xenriga]

warhawk9566 Maybe to invoke nostalgia? XD Okay, I don't know :/

[@Excalibur2112]

Javik, still has a gun attached behind him, lmao. WTF!

[@Summon256]

LOL and nobody seem to be giving a bloody fuck! ROFL ah Bioware...

[@BoyanDimitrov]

I love it that he's always so helpful to Tali.

[@mstone1995]

"You don't need to call backup. I just want to play a game that isn't crap." One of wrex's best lines in this dlc.

[@nevrotik91]

Liara's "foreign" accent and Kaidan's "you owe me money" made me rofl.But James,Javik and Ashley were the best.

[@QX1138]

HK-47: "Distraction: Meatbag, do you know the location of the Star Forge." Guard: "Sir, I don't believe this interaction can be canonical."

[@julietsmith5925]

LOL. Best comment on this thread.

[@californiansniper2133]

Nice reference now I wanna play kotor 😂

[@MrShmigoogy]

Surprisingly, this guard is actually quite a swell guy. Polite, Helpful, even funny at times. Credit to nameless guards everywhere.

[@1234deathisatthedoor]

Ashley just breaks down into a drunk, its so funny

[@breezingby2611]

I love how James correctly guesses the name of the guard’s friend

[@SolidSnake0621]

Wrex: I need to look in you kitchen. I’m a food inspector. Guard: I’m going to need to see some credentials. Wrex: You humans are all racist! Traveling Turian from ME2: That’s my line!

[@QuarkDerStrudel]

Ashleys acting drunk. Best performance of all. :D Worth an Oscar.

[@xxninja112233]

omg i cannot take liara serious with a country acent

[@Bloodredtyrant]

"Who told you I like vat fish?" If I had the full resources of the Shadow Broker, I would definitely troll everyone I met.

[@yanliechocki]

"Hazer, the laser" lol

[@simranwhitham3075]

Thank you so much for taking the time to record and upload all of your Mass Effect Variations videos FluffyNinjaLlama. Liara's southern accent and Garrus's volus brothel comments had me in stitches :)

[@frankmills6226]

5:11 Fun fact: All drinks were ALREADY free that night. The guard was trolling Garrus the annoying guest!

[@RetroW4ve]

Ha Liaras southern accent made me laugh.

[@AvalancheZ250]

"I'm a Prothean" "Your the fourth one I've seen this week" LOL. Javik must be like "where are the impersonators? I will throw them out the airlock"

[@corbinbishop7097]

Tali is definitely the best at this. She is so smart.

[@GenericUsername-qp1ww]

*completely misses the sign showing Varren racing right in front of her* Yeah, real smart.

[@edgyguy5572]

I am with the anti barren cruelty association and I can not believe what I am seeing

[@FoxGamer39618]

edgyguy5 It’s varren.

[@gdttdeggegdh5471]

HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO READ YOU.

[@cr820]

1) This is a wonderfully helpful guard. 2) Liara is so fuckin classy and charming.

[@TheRepty818]

Wow, Ashley's may have been the funniest of all of them.