Matara shares a bit of advice about dating and making the first move

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Matara: / matarakan // / @matarakan
Source: / 2230493721
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[@cbunny6671]

Matara is the "he asked for no pickles" gf

[@rdtripler5604]

And proceeds to devour the waiter for being disrespectful....

[@SoccYT]

​@@rdtripler5604id actually kill to see this made into a comic

[@rdtripler5604]

@@SoccYT That would be nice....

[@patrickcarter2829]

​@@rdtripler5604 No, no, the waiter is innocent--they merely brought the food--she should devour the chef: the person who made the food.

[@rdtripler5604]

@@patrickcarter2829 Either way, She is going to have more food that she paid for....

[@kavky]

"If you have any semblance of a friend circle" It's over, it's so over.

[@Raidensreal]

I'm so sorry buddy.

[@anitaremenarova6662]

real lmao, I used to have one ages ago but as an adult it's been only spent in solitude.

[@kavky]

@@anitaremenarova6662 I used to have one too until we just grew apart and now we're never free at the same time to hang out.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@kavky I had one when I was like 5... I think, then I moved and it all went downhill from there.

[@CrizzyEyes]

Hard truth is that few people will respect you enough for love if they're your only human point of contact because you will come off as insufferably needy. You have to work on enjoying life without being romantically involved first

[@irtuxy]

"Men are very easy, just be nice to them."

[@nobodyimportant5140]

It’s astounding how many women fail this simple task.

[@InquisitorJack]

@@nobodyimportant5140Not if you understand most women dislike or hate men

[@anitaremenarova6662]

@@InquisitorJack You understanding of women is nonexistent.

[@fenison4430]

@@InquisitorJack Please go outside and talk some more to people, the internet doesn't represent reality, thanks.

[@ved2360]

Neh, lots of people are just plain misanthropes. That's the only conclusion I've arrived at when looking at bad relationships. There are men married to women who they don't seem to like very much and vice versa. They're married because it's a status thing or "the thing to do." But this is how you get the trope of some dude who has it all (house, kids, wife) but everybody in his life hates him. His wife is definitely cheating on him or going to divorce him.

[@Crispycake195]

Matara: I like shy nerd men. Me: How many other lies have I've been told by the council?! 😂

[@rafaelcastor2089]

n+1

[@ajschwartz3924]

100! (100 factorial)

[@bluecoin3771]

That you've been lied to BY the council or that you've lied to the council. Your grammar could use some work.

[@rafaelcastor2089]

@@bluecoin3771 "the council" is a band and their music is always playing when OP is lied to. It's quite simple, really.

[@androendiel]

It's almost like there are different women out there who have different preferences and you simply haven't met one yet

[@Tighron]

We have for sure lost our third spaces over time which makes meeting someone randomly much more difficult. Most ppl still do meet through friend and friends of friends, atleast outside of hobbies and interests.

[@MsUndertaker99]

Random meeting? What is this anyway?

[@elysium8131]

>meet someone through work >you get reported for harassment and lose your job >meet someone in class >disorderly conduct >meet someone through friends >you're labelled as creepy and now you lost those friends >meet someone in public >you're escorted out by security >meet someone at a bar/club >her boyfriend appears out of nowhere and fights you or just asserts his dominance over the misunderstanding if you're lucky >meet someone through a common hobby >now that hobby's community doesn't like you because you use it to meet girls and they shun you >also if you don't take any action, another guy will just end up with the girl, lose-lose >meet someone at an event/festival >surprise, most girls are there on dates with their boyfriends and the ones only with their friends also all have boyfriends waiting for them >meet someone through family >that's a contrived method that's outdated as girls are swamped with better options everywhere >meet someone online >nobody matches with you because there's an even worse 3:1 male to female ratio on dating apps, if you meet in an online community and make it work, you're probably never meeting irl >not like it's any better irl where the ratio is 63:34 between single men and women aged 18-29 >give up on dating and die alone, if you're lucky a girl will approach you in your day to day life, maybe on the train where she decides to sit next to you where there's plenty of spare seats but she doesn't move ever after a couple stops where theres more spare seats around, maybe if her friend comes up to you and tells you her friend thinks you're cute, maybe at a magic the gathering tournament, maybe on valorant where she happens to live in your city and likes your deep voice you fake, maybe if you have a really good cosplay or do a cool panel at an anime convention, if a girl never approaches you though, you were never meant to reproduce.

[@sundalosketch4769]

@@MsUndertaker99 Like in person meeting. Finding someone at a park, a beach, a free lounging areas that have disappeared or have become too expensive to be worth visiting with friends or just for yourself, etc. Most people did this before capitalism and the internet went bonkers.

[@ASpyNamedJames]

My friend is seriously concerned about the third spaces thing, we're early millennials and we can remember a time when there were lots of places to make new friends and meet people. I remember being a teen and going to local theme parks and water parks and making new friends. It makes me sad for younger people that those things don't exist anymore.

[@knightofficer]

​@@ASpyNamedJames those spaces exist, but they've become different places. They're places mainly to extract money from you or become so out of the way and inaccessible that you only go there for the place in and of itself like it's an errand. Or they've been bulldozed to make way for something that does that, or to just become no place at all like a parking lot or highway.

[@KrispyToast-YT]

As an extremely shy, nerdy, socially awkward, etc etc guy I pretty much accepted at a young age that my only hope is for the right girl to basically fall into my life on her own. Trying to approach random strangers and start a conversation and ask them out sounds like trying to breathe underwater to me. The cherry on top is that by my shy nature I don't really go to places where people meet each other and my friend circle has hardly grown since high school, so the odds of a girl approaching me are almost as low as me approaching a girl.

[@keeysOST]

Bro we are cooked fr

[@NonJohns]

I pray that you can find a community that lets you be your awkward self safely

[@A-RedHerring]

Cold approach is mostly dead anyways my man. Online dating took care of it.

[@CantusTropus]

I think it's important that we stop putting so much emphasis on this. Your life can be wonderful and meaningful even if you aren't in a relationship.

[@KronosTheRevenant]

@@A-RedHerringnah, even online dating is damn near impossible. Between the bots and the girls with 666 expectations, even that might as well be a nuclear wasteland.

[@AlexanderMartinez-kd7cz]

people are slowly catching up to the fact that dating apps were a stupid idea.

[@KitsyX]

They have just made the dating process more efficient, that’s all… If it wasn’t happening on apps, it might be happening in the clubs or something… The availability might be exacerbating the issues now, but I wouldn’t say it was bad in and of itself.

[@bloodykun4443]

@@KitsyX It's full of really vain clowns and not much else.

[@SixshotRevan]

Dating apps are a mixed bag. My younger brother met the love of his life on a dating app and has been happily married for 5 years. Meanwhile, I've only ever met catfish and bots on these apps, and I've pretty much given up on meeting anybody that way.

[@thegreatgonzales6813]

@@KitsyX The idea made sense and it has worked for many people. But nowadays, most dating apps trivialize relationships, ruin meeting new people, and utilize extremely predatory monetization practices. Tinder is the epitome of everything wrong with these things today. There are like 4-5 different things that are monetized through the app and it preys on insecure and lonely people by trying to get them to purchase more "super likes" or charging them exuberant amounts just to be able to use the app's base functions.

[@derpyduck5088]

They weren't a bad idea, but it was badly implemented. In my personal experience, it's difficult to even find single women in the first place. Dating apps give you that information. However, they just made it into a beauty contest. You can be the funniest, smartest, most interesting person in the world, but if you're a 4/10, you won't get any matches in the first place.

[@keeysOST]

Being a nerdy shy dude is like the ultimate wall to trying to date. I never dated irl, and have never dated online because i do not have the confidence to believe I have a chance. There was a girl where i used to work at that i eventually found out was trying to hit on me, but because I have never experienced what it's like to have someone interested in me, I took every interaction as just "a friendly conversation". Apparently everyone knew she was interested in me except for me. We truly have the biggest debuff.

[@Wollfanges]

and the sad thing about situation like that it's people see and understand someone is interested in you but nobody will ever teel you or make you understand that....but they know and see it, it's like it's better for them to see people fail to have a relationship together

[@keeysOST]

@@Wollfanges I honestly can't blame them given that I'm not the most talkative person ever. I mean why would they bother right?

[@Jes9119]

The worst part about that is that you get labeled with "tism" even if you aren't since modern "psychology" has devolved from a science to the clown show it is now.

[@Wollfanges]

@@keeysOST it's sad i mean its not because someone is not really talkative you can't help that person or be nice etc

[@xyanide1986]

Move on and learn don't keep looking down, look up.

[@friendlyhobo6483]

Dating apps are cancer. The younger generation have realized this and have started to move away from them.

[@thekirbinator2934]

Ahh I think they are shit if you spend too much time on em you kinda just have to not care too much 🤣 came across a girl randomly on tinder started chatting really clicked and now we are going out 3 months now

[@kaijuultimax9407]

They are so transparently rigged, especially the ones that have "highlighted profiles" where they give you a special roster of profiles (of people who are clearly your type) that you're only allowed to spend your super-duper likes on (also you only get one super-duper like for free per week and they cost $2 a pop otherwise). Outside of that special roster, you get women that are very deliberately not your type and you can just see that these apps don't want you to get a relationship, they just want you to keep swiping.

[@groudongamer3178]

I've had to go after a friend because he was using dating apps. He has had nothing but bad experiences.

[@Shinyloog20992]

You are really not wrong. I actually gave up on dating apps and wound up dating a long time friend.

[@ved2360]

Historically, people just dated in their social circles. That used to be easier to do, but as pointed out, people just don't get out much anymore. That and car-centered infrastructure is genuinely dystopian because of how it atomizes everything and costs way too much. But legit, I've run into zoomers who are confused about the concept of how to set up a D&D session. Which is a shame because bitches love D&D and it has cultural capital now that gives you inroads into other friend groups and interests. Also, learning to draw is easier to do than ever before, because there's a ton of mentorship and institutional knowledge circulating on Discords and because of how easy it is to just do on a computer. So if you're artistically-inclined and wanted to learn how to draw, start now. Don't wait until tomorrow. Even with generative AI around, drawing is basically gold when it comes to communicating with and entertaining other people. Bonding naturalistically just by being out in public used to be easier. So you really do have to invest some effort to "network."

[@Mentaljedi]

I think the big issue is social media. Before if you screwed up, the worst was your pride and maybe some friends hearing about it. Now, the whole world can hear about it and you'll get posted on tick tock

[@thenerdyknight1559]

Don't forget the effects of #metoo

[@detleffleischer9418]

Like that guy Dokibird accidentally exposed

[@Bam_Bizzler]

​@OneDeuxTriSeiGo statistics say otherwise. But i think its alil over blown

[@apophis7712]

​@@Bam_Bizzler What stats?

[@goleogthais]

> Now, the whole world can hear about it and you'll get posted on tick tock that, and getting arrested and charged with sexual harassment, or even worse

[@JackDespero]

5:35 According to statistics, "family, friends, and church" is how most couples met in the last century. Then bars and shared activities. Before the internet, more people did the last, but still the first category was the biggest by far. And then after Internet, it has been reduced to a mere anecdote. In other words, most people met their partner because they were a part of a social circle that included that person.

[@JackDespero]

As a physics researcher, I am an eternal immigrant. I move from country to country constantly. And I can say that the most difficult step is going from 0 friends to 1 friend, especially if we are talking about locals. It is a thousand times harder, than getting your second friend. It is a thousand times harder than getting a partner even. Especially when you are an adult, getting into a social circle is both the problem and the solution. It is extremely hard to join, and then it is extremely easy to expand. And that is why this job makes my life so lonely: I find it harder and harder to make that first local friend. Without experiencing it, it is hard to understand who lonely it gets to move away from your family and friends, because you find yourself not just alone, but cut out of the possibility of getting into social circles. It is extremely isolating, and thus why the immigrant life is not for everyone.

[@brianl8481]

My social circle is filled completely with people who are not single.

[@MsUndertaker99]

​@@brianl8481same and even when they were single, they naver cared about me in a romantic way

[@KoboldGamer]

@@brianl8481 This, every hobby i'm in, every lady is taken already, to an extreme degree. I even do boardgaming, every girl there has been brought by her b/f or husband. It's insane and I'm really tired of it.

[@lorzon]

This implies I have a social circle. I haven't ever really had one. Not even sure family counts.

[@guilguis4820]

It's a multitude of reasons. Society pressures men to initiate things and tells women to be hard to catch. People work too much and don't have time to go out and meet new people. Dating apps are actually not designed to get you dates. They're designed to seem like they do because they don't want you leaving the app.

[@Jes9119]

That same society has also told men that they are creeps, stalkers and harassers if they so much as look at a woman. Which has lead to men not initiating anything anymore. We live in HR world and HR needs to go on somewhere. Because the world was a better place without it.

[@henritaas9997]

More truthful words were never said

[@henritaas9997]

Sucks to date on today's society, I feel like globalization brought us together but also made us notice how different we are from one another, and that sucks because we often find relationships on similarities

[@AA-lz4wq]

@@henritaas9997 Nope, it's not 'society', it's a biological thing, guys are evolutionary more assertive, so it makes sense they make the first move, and dating apps work for hookups, which benefits attractive men, women could just avoid that culture but they don't, that's their choice.

[@StormierNik]

Are there any apps that are designed to get you friends instead of dates? I already have friends but I've realized I'd kinda like more who are into the same things i am a bit more.

[@saporoushail5751]

If a girl asked me out I'd think it's a prank.

[@sanaki_gamer2026]

And it's usually a prank too, at least for me.

[@rezracer6986]

That was all of middle school for me, got to the point where I had to yell “alright, I get it, you were dared to say it to get $50” and dart out

[@AnonymousVenator]

I'd immediately look around for friends of her around laughing at me most likely with a phone pointed at me

[@Sir_Bucket]

that's a really big sign that you should work on yourself! Not loving yourself like that isn't normal, idk what is your situation but you should take action to get out of this state. Start a hobby you always wanted to do, go to therapy, go on a trip, etc...

[@kaiserknuckle9261]

Same here

[@Lichelf]

Makina: I'm into Denji type guys. Denji: Dude, that's me!

[@k3salieri]

This is why Denji is so relatable.

[@nef36]

based comment

[@ChronicNOTAG]

Poor Denji, he gets fucked every which way.

[@Subpar1O1]

Denji: THAT'S ME FR!!!

[@Rahnonymous]

Reminder, Makina is also an emotional abuser/manipulator

[@ryanlordjanie]

I’m imagining that meme where it’s like “why can’t I find a guy like this” and the literal guy in that picture says hi and she’s just “no”

[@hecklejack7726]

God that whole event is so depressing.

[@AVBRIZE]

Shes a type of woman that says: "Oh hes shy? I'll open him up"

[@Rodoet001]

Considering her model, that might be literal.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@Rodoet001 I'm not seeing the downside.

[@Doublemonk0506]

​@@youdontneedtoknow7548, bleeding?

[@Enteringdullsville]

I believe in this situation, it’s customary to say: AYO?

[@ordinarylittlebastard3248]

We know a green flag when we see one

[@ByRoyalCommandV]

My take on dating success now is the barrier to entry. You have to be confident enough in yourself to put yourself out there, have enough disposable income to go out and do nice things with your perspective partners and on top of that have the determination to push through dates not working out and finding the right person, and any loneliness that comes from that None of which I have, so no dating for me I guess.

[@stefanomassaia2080]

My good sir, no disrespect but why spend disposable income on a date when i can just use it to speculate the stock market

[@Michael-bn1oi]

​@@stefanomassaia2080 Cause they don't want to die alone and unloved.

[@rafaelcastor2089]

​@@Michael-bn1oi The likelihood it's gonna happen regardless though...

[@mj91212]

@@Michael-bn1oi Everyone dies alone, the parts of your brain that handle your physical senses shut off before your sense of self does. So you’re still conscious, but you can’t see, hear, or feel anything. In other words, we all die alone in the dark.

[@stefanomassaia2080]

@@mj91212 Exactly instead of loved ones you just leave an imprint in capitalism

[@desync4058]

_Reads Title_ " Don't do that... Don't give me hope " Edit: I originally meant to write " _Reads Thumbnail Caption_ " but since it already gained a few likes, I figured I left it there lmao. Stay in school Y'all

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

Ain't that the truth buddy.

[@middlethenerd]

Yeah I thought the same thing lol

[@Zettymaster]

those exact words were mine too

[@AnonymousVenator]

I was about to post practically the EXACT same comment.

[@WanderSeth]

1:50 - Matara giving a heartfelt discussion with soft, gentle, assuring music Some dude in the chat: *discussing tentacles*

[@Sam-ip6co]

"Shy nerdy men" literally the meme with Henry Cavill wearing glasses "nerd"

[@hrtp9821]

Being attractive doesn't make you not a nerd. Obviously women want men they're attracted to, but it's even more true in reverse as men place higher emphasis on appearance than women do. Unless that wasn't what you was implying.

[@VVabsa]

​@@hrtp9821And since not every woman actually want to have a relationship with the "Cavill with glasses", there's no excuse not to shoot the shot.

[@therecombinant6215]

Best reason to hit the gym, and maintain your passions. It’s a fact of nature that some people are quite literally born with phenotypes that match with the social norm of what is conventionally attractive at the time and thus have easier time finding mates So we have to carve out our own niche and hope someone is willing to share it with us and that can have many forms.

[@VVabsa]

​@@therecombinant6215 Having hobby's and being passionate about them always does good when dating with a long term relationship in mind. People simply like their partners not to be superficial and have character. That has been the go to dating strat since forever. Of course having basic hygiene and not having your body abused by fastfood also helps.

[@Sam-ip6co]

@@therecombinant6215 and what if no one is willing to share it with us

[@grandfathernurgle2840]

The friend thing only works if you have friends that interact with women beyond family/work.

[@KuroDHero]

Try being friends with women, they typically know more women

[@diegotejada55]

Yeah, tbh a huge part of the problem comes from society becoming more and more about cultural bubbles. I don’t think I can attract - romantically or otherwise - anyone other than fellow lonely, depressed, young men who almost definitionally don’t interact with many women. We just keep isolating into increasingly insular groups, and it’s just getting really hard to perceive the world as different from one’s bubble…in my case a rather depressed circlejerk of a bubble 😞

[@AnonymousVenator]

​​@@diegotejada55Yep that's it, it's funny how the world is more connected than ever with the internet at the same time.

[@Kenshirou47]

I've heard it said "The worst they can say is no." It's not true.

[@qactus4031]

A simple "no" is the *best* they can say in this day and age.

[@inquisitionagent9052]

It can ALWAYS be worse

[@deathrooster14]

I was told no one would ever love me and I should just kill myself. By the first person I ever asked out.

[@JIGGSAWtheimmortal]

You know I didn't actually think she was that old until she said "I have friends that started dating from a run club" XD

[@anitaremenarova6662]

she's ancient lol, having people constantly help her with tech issues is hilarious to watch

[@TheBayzent]

She is about my age (closer to 40 than 30) ain't she?

[@Antony2618]

​@@TheBayzent shes like 32-33

[@iamLI3]

@@TheBayzent i am sure she is in her late 30s

[@TalonWren]

Coming from a shy nerdy older male, this is pretty accurate. Ladies.. it is much easier for you all to ask us out than it is for us thanks to all stuff happening in society lately. Hopefully that will one day change.. but sadly it doesnt seem to be anytime soon. So please.. spare us a little bit of the stresses we have to go through and just ask.

[@lukeshioshio]

Genetics won't let most women get the balls

[@TwintailsVtuber]

no don't be asking women that you come off as entitled from their pov just stay away from women full stop women will never ask us out they have full control of the rejection button no point trying to play the system just stay away from women and do your own thing

[@christerjakobsen8107]

@@TwintailsVtuber Modern women: The authority of men the privilege of being female and the responsibility level of children

[@godofthegods]

​@@TwintailsVtuber based

[@iamLI3]

@@TwintailsVtuber hard to argue that you're not right....

[@yoitsgunattack]

"tell him my breasts are down here you can look" lol.... nah no chance men know looking directly at chests is a major trap they are gonna get framed for something by someone.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

If somebody said that to me I guarantee their filming somewhere.

[@rhett3185]

I’d think I’m in a KZbin prank or about be framed or have a meeting with HR or just anything because of that. All of these things can lead to being cancelled online and irl.

[@jacobcordova3825]

No rizz just laugh and say aren't you friendly keep eye contact with a warm smile even if it's forced

[@iamLI3]

yeah idk what this vutber was thinking with saying that , in today's modern western world that would get the cops called on you on the spot.....

[@deathfliez627]

@@iamLI3 you watch too much social media. touch grass

[@Oishianic]

I've asked out every boyfriend I've had other than one. I just find it easier to ask the guy I'm interested in than hope he'll ask me.

[@piotr004]

Finally, a woman that gets it. Most women have too much of ego to do that, yet they love to tell what "a true man" should do and be like.

[@Jose_Doe]

Oh damn you go girl

[@AnonymousVenator]

Based, they probably appreciated you doing that a lot.

[@yewtewbstew547]

Thank you for your service lol.

[@kaimobley5324]

Major part of the reason Guys aren't approaching us because these Women nowadays said the quiet part out loud which is "They're not tired of Men approaching, they're tired of Men they don't find attractive approaching". Which anyone with a Brain and more importantly Common Sense would question how are the guys supposed to automatically know if they're specifically your type and you (women who say, think and feel this) are very self centered. Which could easily lead into other issues about yourself

[@iamLI3]

exactly right , though it is easy for most guys to know if they are atractive to women , because the women will be the ones to chase them....

[@victorbressler7156]

100%

[@kaimobley5324]

@@iamLI3 the extreme overwhelming majority of guys don't ever have Women chasing them that much if at all. Maybe 2, 3 if you're lucky but that's over multiple years that can easily go into decades just to get that much, not something per week or few months at a time.

[@Vfanatic1]

My problem is I always assume the girl already has a boyfriend and he's just somewhere else, or she's gay. But I usually just default to the fact I'm not good enough to get a girl in this day and age.

[@CrizzyEyes]

If you assume you will fail, then your destiny is predetermined.

[@sanaki_gamer2026]

​@CrizzyEyes This is sadly true. The losers are the ones that not even try. Yes, I'm a loser too.

[@TwintailsVtuber]

no cap ya just assume they have gf they usually mention bf or boyfriend the first couple lines they speak to you just to let u know

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

@@TwintailsVtuber India did it right They don't have to assume over there that's what the dot is for.

[@boogie4552]

@@CrizzyEyes After failing so many times, there’s only so much hope I'm willing to have before throwing in the towel🤷🏾‍♂

[@ottovonnekpunch1268]

Mata, looking at the sheer number of comments and responses to this VOD, you have touched a collective nerve! Our online/yet isolated culture has caused us to lose the concept of civil conversation! You know, the ability to make casual and meaningful "small-talk"! Much could be learned from such interactions! Yet, its becoming a "lost art". And, last word, go outside your home and find a safe place to be seen! My $0:02 from a literal senior citizen!!! 🤔🤔🤔

[@Strutsss]

No one cares about small talk, no one wants to just talk about the weather or jobs. I'd rather bash my head into the concrete than talk about that boring shit.

[@iamLI3]

i have been vihemently against the concept of small talk for my entire life , well before i ever learned that the interent exists....

[@beefboy8812]

"if you have any semblance of a friend circle" dude all my friends are in the same boat lmao

[@LoverOfKitsune]

Don't give me hope, Matara.

[@nexstbob6911]

She is lying through her teeth don’t get it twisted if you are a weak beta that lets women walk all over you you will never in your life be respected by a woman or taken seriously

[@MrOiram46]

If it helps, there’s only one Matara out of 8 billion people 😂

[@zcubeDbz]

Always have hope. It's always better to hold onto hope than to give into despair

[@callmegrandpoggers]

​@@zcubeDbzdespair seems to keep you safe so no thanks on the whole hope

[@zcubeDbz]

@@callmegrandpoggers It isn't despair that keeps you safe. Caution keeps you safe. Neither hope nor despair guarantee safety

[@TenstimDabis]

Dated four girls irl, all crazy. Tried dating app, got insulted and flaked off. Staying single, I get to cuddle my cat more often.

[@Doomroar]

She is doing her part by telling other women to go on dates, but not herself tho XD

[@iamLI3]

funny how that always works eh?...

[@ChazOfHonor]

It’s funny hearing this bc Mousey is on the record as borderline demanding to be chased for her to be interested, but also saying everyone chasing her is a creep. Which is EXACTLY the problem 😂

[@anitaremenarova6662]

Mouse grew up without a social life outside of her family, I wouldn't take dating advice from her even at gunpoint lol

[@SoccYT]

You can hear and listen to advice from someone you respect and not think its a smart thing or valid. So I'm glad people at least arent one braining to protect their oshi

[@BionicDirector117]

I love her to death but Mousey is a terrible source for that sort of advice considering her living situation. I struggle to think of someone who could have a more unique perspective in the realm of relationships.

[@henritaas9997]

Look, I'll try being the devil's advocate here, but I think she means that someone chasing her "in a good way" is just someone who's really connected to her and interested on what she's also interested? Not on the sense of trying too hard, but actually being there with her and actively bonding on the relationship I could be wrong here because I never saw her saying neither of these, but that's my take on it, she's needy, mostly because of her condition and lifestyle, but has stalkers due to being an influencer which makes trusting on ppl a lot harder

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@henritaas9997 oh how I hate it when no means "try harder" Be clear women we are not mind readers here!

[@RuneScapeShadoma]

Honestly, me stopping my search was the best thing I've done for myself. I know that no one is interested, I dont have to be worried about attitude or appearance, and I dont have to talk to anyone anymore. All I have to is await the grip of death to claim me in my sleep, and all will be well.

[@pachasnft9954]

Nah most likely hit and run😭

[@RuneScapeShadoma]

@@pachasnft9954 Well, the cause of death doesn't have to be specific. I mean, if I can traumatize on a mass scale, at least I could make a spectacle out of it and actually do something noteworthy before I go.

[@evaporatednut9824]

Please don't ​@@RuneScapeShadoma

[@bariumselenided5152]

God fucking bless Mata for encouraging women to make the first move too. It's insane that so many people expect half the population to bear that burden alone. It sucks, and it fucked up my self esteem so bad to literally never see any hint that anyone liked me growing up. Hopefully things will change and less people will have to feel like I did

[@MeowMeowMeowX3333]

Definitely. It fucking sucks that so many women have been taught to never express interest, to suppress their feelings and hope the other will make the move first. I know so many women who let people they really like pass them by because they couldn't make the first move. So many women aren't even taught HOW to make the first move, that's why sometimes they're so subtle that men don't catch on.

[@amilcarcampbell2405]

This goes back to the "why the fuck are there so many introverts nowadays" discussion. As someone who is UNIRONICALLY introverted, you are not automatically shy as an introvert. Social situations dont give me anxiety by default. I just prefer NOT TO TALK (I'm usually thinking about things in my head). Dont take that as me not wanting to talk to you, though. I just dont initiate. It has nothing to do with being nervous or shy (outside of the natural shyness and whatnot when meeting new people). For the people who are cripplingly nervous and shy, you most likely have socialization issues. Maybe not completely pathological, but as someone who actually is an introvert, too many people say they are when, in reality, they are just traumatized or just not properly socialized.

[@anitaremenarova6662]

It gets pretty annoying, I'm introverted since birth however my social skills are great. I simply prefer my alone time to recharge compared to extroverts that get unhappy when they can't soak up social energy. Not having social skills =/= introvert, if everyone spent more time touching grass they wouldn't have issues either, just like most things it's all about practice.

[@CrizzyEyes]

They are closely correlated. When you grow up thinking that talking is a waste of time in most situations, it is easy to lose confidence in your ability to socialize.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​​@@CrizzyEyesIs it not though? Unless you have power or privilege or some kind of skill what's the use In talking?

[@KillerBlaze]

What ya gotta understand is that shy and anxious people are usually also introverts

[@amilcarcampbell2405]

@@KillerBlaze Source? Also correlation does not equal causation. It's my entire point...

[@Envy801]

As a shy nerdy VERY insecure and introverted guy, I’ve pretty much accepted that either I’ll be single for life, or they ask me out, because asking someone out is life or death

[@iamLI3]

pretty much literally life or death at this point....

[@Envy801]

@@iamLI3 yep, pretty much

[@tellz1328]

I honestly do not understand the idea of finding people in social spaces, maybe because I don’t understand how someone can try to start a relationship with someone they don’t know. Strangers can be attractive sure, but I have no real reason to feel emotionally invested in someone that I know nothing about unless it’s like a stranger in an emergency situation. I want to know a person and learn things about them that make me want to spend more time together. The only way I could see it happening is putting effort into a person that has an interest in you. The only thing I think is important to me is, I want to be with a person that wants to be with me. Maybe if it was a stranger, knowing that they have feelings for me would be the only thing I need to know to want a relationship, but I can never see that happening with someone you know nothing about.

[@drgapinski]

It depends on what the social space is. Depending on the space(s) you encounter a stranger you can garner a lot about a person. If you run into them at a tabletop store, they probably have interest in tabletop games. If you meet them at a shooting range, they likely have an interest in shooting/hunting. At a sports venue? They're probably interested in that sport. Church? Religious. You likely find yourself at places you're interested in most of the time and these strangers are no different.

[@knightofficer]

Previously the better social space to meet people in is a "third" space, somewhere outside of your work or home where you could simply exist and socialize. Without any external pressures like being a customer to be made a profit off of or being there specifically to run some errand. Unfortunately in much of the West and especially in America these sorts of places are basically extinct. And that's really done a massive amount of damage to the ability for people to just socialize with new people after they graduate school

[@xyanide1986]

A public space isn't a social space. A social space is a hobby club, maybe work, conventions, etc. You interact there socially and you figure out if you like someone or not, even just as a friend. The point isn't to instantly fall in love with people on the train or something.

[@qactus4031]

@@xyanide1986 Ok, but the probkem with people going to events around xyz is that they usually go there to do xyz, not to date. Going there to "find a date" is *actual* creep behaviour.

[@xyanide1986]

@@qactus4031 the point is to just get to know more people not to be lurking and prowling around. I'm not suggesting to join an all female yoga class.

[@byproducts]

I’ve always heard the term “you miss all the shots you don’t take.” true, but those same shots could end up getting you in jail for harassment. The way I understand it is it’s not even worth going for random people, it’s better to just find a hobby or something and find people through that. Don’t put up with all the BS that toxic people will put you through.

[@iamLI3]

exactly correct

[@perrycarters3113]

Last time I asked a girl out, she was a coworker. No power dynamics, we were in different areas. She quit a week later and I was mocked ceaselessly by other coworkers for a year, even by some who got hired AFTER she left and never knew her. That was 8 years ago. Girl before that was over 10 years ago now. She had the grace to let me down gently and we remained good friends, but 6 months later I found out she had spread the word to other people that I was pressuring her into a relationship and stalking/harassing her, resulting in my being quietly ostracized by a good chunk of that friend group. Why the fuck would I ever ask anyone else out?

[@iamLI3]

yikes , and i've seen many other stories like your just in the comments of this video alone , indeed why would any man ever risk this happening to them at all....

[@perrycarters3113]

@@iamLI3 It means a brutal catch-22 of either being lonely or risking humiliation/being called a creep. Now, don't get me wrong, there are absolutely an unfortunate number of guys who ARE creeps and who pressure girls, but it just sucks that otherwise normal guys pay the price for it.

[@GlyphxAstraea]

By "work on yourself", don't try to mold yourself into what you think everyone else wants you to be. Instead, work toward becoming the You that you can love. Work toward being the you that you're happy with.

[@timeforamazingchest5271]

This. You have to closely examine what you want to be and figure out if it's something you actually want or if it's something that's for social validation.

[@TheFeelTrain]

The problem with that is the person I want to be does not align with the person that other people (generally) want to date. It genuinely feels like the only two options are to be something I'm not or be alone. I also don't have any hobbies or do any activities where I meet very many people in the first place. So I would have to get a new hobby for the sole purpose of dating which feels disingenuous if I'm not interested in the actual activity.

[@CYBER_FunkER]

But also make sure that the You that you can love... can also be loved by a woman lol...

[@gorogorogoro-chan7365]

​@@TheFeelTrain This will give you problems in casual flings and short term relationships, sure, but if you start dating as the ideal for women, whilst being entirely untrue to yourself, you've significantly less likely to find a partner who really loves you and fully understands you. Being true to yourself will almost always turn out better in the long run, I say!

[@anitaremenarova6662]

@@TheFeelTrain You're not that special, unless you're a serial kIIler or something there are people out there that will be into you.

[@117overcast]

I AM NOT GOING TO PAY MY TAXES.

[@abdurrehmannasir5963]

I DON'T CARE WHO THE IRS SENDS I AM NOT PAYING MY TAXES.

[@bc-cu4on]

This, interestingly, would help solve the problem. By removing taxes, you remove welfare. By removing welfare, you force women to face the bleak reality of hardship. Then they'll have to take a second look at those "boring and ugly but productive" lads, since they are better than starvation. Only question is whether these guys would actually want them after decades of unrestricted abuse.

[@rhett3185]

@@bc-cu4onas if the government would ever cut taxes especially on hardworking men only to then cut welfare to ‘women’ (blanket grouping). The elected government wouldn’t allow it because women themselves wouldn’t allow it. They get all the money funnelled to them, why would they ever let that go just to be “shackled” with a man that pays the bills for them but in their eyes isn’t worth settling with?

[@ishygddt72]

based

[@jplus1054]

I've just given up at this point, tbh. 💀

[@firepuppies4086]

I just don't want to leave people missing me if I end dead... And if I get the feeling someone IS into me I can't feel confident I'm not just, having too much of an ego thinking she is into me

[@Cool-Vest]

MEN! This is the time to get creative, not give up. Ah, unfortunately, this is not my field of specialty. I have no ideas.

[@mistake1197]

@@Cool-Vest whoa! this is worthless.

[@thelizard556]

​@@mistake1197gravity falls? If so nice!

[@ahima6475]

Don’t give on yourself I did at one point I got obese angry and sad don’t give up I’m in a better place now cause I progressed in my life and this comes from someone who was cheated on a lot during his life time then while still in a relationship still got issues one thing is no matter what happens there’s going to be problems even if you find the right one and I know the dating environment is tough nowadays but I’ve seen terrible people get together I think there is someone out there for everyone

[@kaiserknuckle9261]

This is absolutely true ladies seriously if you like a guy and want to go out with him be blunt because speaking as a guy it's a pain in the ass trying to accurately pick up on your signals and if you think your being obvious with your signals trust me you're not cause we will think your not interested in us

[@Dr_Monitor]

Even if a girl were to say something like "if you asked me out, I wouldn't say no", I've been strung along so many times that it's an instant red flag for me. So many women have verbatim used that phrase against me, only to turn around and stab me in the back that it's made my trust issues worse. At this point, if I make the first move, assume I've been drugged or I'm very drunk, or both.

[@TwintailsVtuber]

Hi that's y i usually just stay away from women especially when they say "boyfriend" in the first two lines of my first time interaction with them I know they think I'm creepy so I just go away from them and stay away

[@iamLI3]

@@TwintailsVtuber good advice to give

[@RPGmancer]

Step 1: Be attractive. Step 2: Don't be un-attractive. I'm still working on getting past those first two steps.

[@MiniWhiteDragon]

There's definitely more to it then that, but physical appearance definitely gets your foot in the door. Don't obsess over it. Clean yourself up the best you can, wear nice clothing, and try to be natural. Just play it cool man, you've got this.

[@A-RedHerring]

​@@MiniWhiteDragonPhysical appearance is the biggest part of it. All that other shit is give or take afterwards. Women themselves have PROVEN this time and time again with their own choices and actions. We have to stop the cope.🤷🏿‍♂️

[@davidkoormann7668]

There’s a lot of physical aspects to attractiveness, but most are easy to fix. Do you smell bad? Do you look unkempt? Did you shave/take good care of your beard? Do you have a skin care routine? Little hygiene makes you repulsive so start working on that if you haven’t already. The second part is personality though. Physical appearance might get you past the first hurdle of approaching them, but after that it’s mostly about spending time together and seeing if you vibe. For that you shouldn’t pretend to be somebody that you’re not and just let things flow. If you feel like you want to spend more time with that person, maybe even going as far as wanting to spend your life with them, let them know that you feel that way, how much you like them. Eventually when you feel secure enough you can also confess. Being physically attractive is part of the equation but doesn’t get you far. Instead work on your hygiene and how you treat others and you will gain friends who perhaps become lovers.

[@MsUndertaker99]

​@@davidkoormann7668good luck fixing height, lol

[@MsUndertaker99]

​@@davidkoormann7668good luck fixing height

[@austinm5630]

The "bear or man" trend on TikTok felt like the perfect encapsulation of modern dating problems to me. For those who don't know, guys started asking their wives/girlfriends (or even just single women asking their female friends) if they were stranded in the woods, would they rather be stranded in the woods with a man or a bear. And a shockingly large percentage said bear. Not sure if it's a literal majority (selection bias comes into play, i.e. how many women chose a man and didn't post the video as a result?) but it's still thousands upon thousands of women. Men hear this and it's just absolutely mind boggling to us. Yes, there is a chance - statistically less than 0.8%, but still a chance - that the man may be a sexual predator and do something horrible to you. But the bear is an ACTUAL PREDATOR who has something more akin to an 80% chance of eating you alive. Obviously it depends on the kind of bear, specific circumstances, etc. But the odds are still a hell of a lot higher than 0.8% that the bear will kill you dead. Even if the man does something awful, less than half of all rapists kill their victims. At least you'd survive it. This is why men are scared to ask. Because we know women are afraid of being asked. Not all women, but more than enough that we'd rather not risk the rejection - or worse, harassment charges - just to have a shot.

[@NoNo-xh7ru]

That’s what happens when you’ve lived your entire life in relative comfort. Same people giving that answer probably think bears are about the size of a large dog and just as friendly.

[@mr.kenway4554]

For me it's the ultimate answer which is "I'd rather be eaten by a bear than to be with you ever"

[@Capt.TomfooleryFergus]

Lads, don't listen to a fish giving you advice to catch fish.

[@absoul112]

6:44 Speaking personally, I've had to look in the metaphorical and literal mirror to see where I'm lacking.

[@Jam_MG]

Girls: we want confident men. Guys: *comes across wrong or isn’t attractive enough* Girls: no

[@vgpharaoh1344]

See the issue is more I'm pretty sure Im Invisible to everyone. Women aren't gonna talk to me and I just... can't start conversations well. I would've just liked to feel idk wanted ever. But that's not a thing. Whether I try to dress nice or get a haircut or whatever it doesn't matter. Not even cuz I'm ugly I just... feel like another person and Women don't like average guys. Sure I have positive traits but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be readily seen and honestly most wouldn't care so it just feels like why bother with it? I don't need more reminders that people don't want me anyway

[@timeforamazingchest5271]

You don't sound comfortable living in your own skin. Work on that. When you treat yourself like someone you love, you'll come to understand how hurtful these things you're saying are.

[@vgpharaoh1344]

@@timeforamazingchest5271 And how pray tell should I "work on that" when the results show that people basically never talk to me outside of need? I can't not think that when the actual reality is glaringly there confirming it.

[@CantusTropus]

​@@timeforamazingchest5271 "Work on that?" Are you implying that it's his fault that he doesn't have high self-esteem/he isn't "comfortable in his own skin"? Literally how? What rule did he break? What obligation did he fail to uphold?

[@alolamao833]

⁠@@CantusTropusI don’t think that’s what they were implying. I think they were saying that at the end of the day, the only person who can solve deep-rooted self-esteem issues is the individual themself.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@alolamao833 In this society? Ha good luck with that!

[@itsjonesh]

Bro, Matara is so freaking relatable. Her entire stream and her takes on life and dating are certainly a vibe. Whomsoever's the luck guy who manages to catch her attention, hopefully does right by her, whenever that happens. I know that after several bad relationships, the only thing I wanted was to stay away from dating. At least for a while, and especially now that people seem to have unlearned how to have social interactions with each other IRL. Covid and Dating Apps surely have made a dent on society - and I say this being from and living in a country where it's basicly extrovert land and meeting people is not hard. Like not hard at all.

[@TwintailsVtuber]

hopefully she lives a great life

[@illdecidelater723]

"My breasts are down here you can look" is unironically such a good line, even I would get the hint at that point XD

[@metakarukenshi]

one of the biggest issues with dating now a days is cost of living. due to the constant rising cost of housing, necessities and utilities, we all know at least one person who has been forced to shelve or limit a hobby because they just cant afford it. before the economy started tanking people were always out doing things they loved, now everyone is forced to work much more to make ends meet. many people now aren't looking for a relationship to enjoy life, they are looking to have a partner to ease the burden of cost of living, to share the struggle. the issue is where do you meet people now? most people are meeting their partner either through dating apps or at work. for many young people work is becoming our main source of social interaction and it's leading to people becoming less healthy, more unsatisfied with life and less sad which in turn makes them less enjoyable to be around. Cost of living is also the reason why, marriage is down, couples having children is down, as now a huge number of couples live in a share house and lack the privacy to actually have intercourse to have a child and secondly they cant afford children. the failing economy is one of the biggest causes of loneliness and declining population.

[@Rebel_riot151]

This is probably the first time I’ve cried watching a genuine VTuber conversation and I don’t know why. Imo this felt like a very heartfelt conversation or more like a pep talk from a therapist I’ve never had. Idk man, girls this generation have so many common basic standards that I just can’t keep up with like the other common guys no matter how much I wish I were like them it’s to the point I don’t believe bland people like me can achieve the healthy love life. I’m currently the youngest child in my entire family and it crushes my heart knowing their future hopes of the bloodline will die because of me.

[@rhett3185]

It’s because it hits a nerve. Honestly the absurdity of the vtuber saying stuff that hits close to home isn’t needed. It could just be audio and it’d be cold facts

[@Jose90867]

I’m don’t know if I’m the correct person to say this but Not give up Like you said you are the youngest, you still have a lot of time to find someone You will find someone and someone will find you

[@AnonymousVenator]

Definitely don't give up, I'm being hypocritical here, but hey trust me, you always have a much better chance I do.

[@jonharker9028]

As the others have said, please don’t give up, man! You’ve got something within you that can grow into what you’ve hoped for. You’re not bland, and I want you to know that. And you’ve definitely got time, people on the whole are marrying later in life than ever before. Take your time, try to love yourself a little more, and use this moment to take a step forward!

[@B1RDSEYE]

I honestly believe the internet has ruined our ability to socialize in real life. Even someone like me, who grew up in a fairly social environment, and didn’t really get access to the internet until I was an adult(I’m 30), still feel like my social life has been severely stunted. And the worst part is, there’s no one to really blame but myself. No one forced me to be terminally online, I chose that.

[@Anomis.]

To preface, I haven't encountered this streamer before and this was just another random clip in my recommended list... But I really like and appreciate this well balanced and mature tone. This clip comes across as someone who has a lot of life experience and nuance. Too many circles I've seen in (my limited experience of) the VTuber community come across as being too much on one side, either too loose or uptight (of course, still respecting each individual's lifestyle preferences). This anecdote is really refreshing though, and I liked the way that chat was addressed and respected.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

Apparently she is pretty old for a v-tuber having to get technical help kind of old.

[@MeowMeowMeowX3333]

Matara is so down to earth, she's one of the only vtubers I can watch a full stream of without feeling burnt out.

[@someonesuspicious4444]

It's not good actually. You don't understand how little women care about men who they think are unattractive (in this case without even fucking seeing them lol). For her it's not about good advices, but more like about pity and a bit of emotional support: "there, there, it's gonna be okay" kinda thing. They also don't understand much about what actually makes men attractive, so they can't give any advices anyway. In reality dating can be broken down in 2 things: 1. Treat it like it's a job interview. Forget about "being yourself", you gotta look good, confident in your future, and always give an impression that you got it all figured out and if not, you absolutely can resolve ANY issue. Team player, responsible blah blah. Just don't "oversell" yourself ofc, it's obviously a stupid idea. Well, that's what they call being attractive. But that's basically just a very good first impression. 2. Have an actual real plan for your future life. What are you gonna do for a living in general, how would you provide for your family, where you gonna live, what would be your home-work commute, how are you gonna spend YOUR OWN free time (important), how much time would you spend with a family(also VERY important), who gonna cover what roles in your family etc etc etc. That's what they call being a man, a leader, a person who knows what they want from their life. When you do that, you will succeed. You can be confident that it would be the case as today not that much men realise those simple things. Oh and you also you will have a few topics (from point #2) to talk about from time to time during dating. You may think it's fucking weird, but any woman with serious intentions would love that.

[@slayerking88]

I have been with my wife for 8 years, we dated for 4 and been married for 4. I'm happy to be with her. If anything ever happened where we're no longer together, I don't think I would ever date again because of what dating has evolved into. My wife and I were friends for like a year before I asked her out. We got to know each other as friends first. The problem with dating apps is that a lot of people want that instant gratification, try to get into a relationship with a person they barely know, and it doesn't work out due to surface level things that can be overlooked if you actually know the person. I have also seen how men get labelled creeps for no reason and blasted on social media for just asking a woman out. It's like common human decency is no longer a thing because some people are chasing that high they get from likes on social media posts.

[@Jyukenmaster95]

3:28 the key to solving the modern dating crisis 👌

[@darkwhipthelasher9178]

Viewers meeting Matara IRL: « Damn I'm such a nerdy shy man it's crazy HOPEFULLY no one is going to Rizz me up you know »

[@oniemployee3437]

"Excuse me miss, I just wanted to come over and say-" **"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!"**

[@boom-wy1qx]

👍

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

*Interaction plastered all over TicTock.* Congratulations, you've become the new villain of the day!

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

*Interaction gets posted all over TicToc* congratulations, you became public enemy number one for the day! "The worst she can say is no" however right?

[@TwintailsVtuber]

straight up facts

[@DrCornTato]

This is why people are socially anxious about that prospect.

[@theotherjared9824]

Some women have admitted to me that they say "I have a boyfriend" even when they don't because they don't want to talk to a man for whatever reason. It's a downward spiral of blows to self-esteem, meaning the ones that continue now look desperate and creepy, pushing others away even more and repeating the cycle. We all just need to be civil and talk to each other, but no one wants to be a martyr and break that ice.

[@gorogorogoro-chan7365]

Im curious, do you think that's cruel for them to do? If they dislike a man because of their hair, or their hobbies, or just vibe, I would say it's much better to let them down gently by lying instead of trying to give some false hope by not being firm in rejection

[@anitaremenarova6662]

Tbf they wouldn't have to do that if most men respected a simple "no".

[@MrShadownetwork]

@@anitaremenarova6662I love this, wmen can generalize men all day but when a man does it hear comes the “not all” Like seriously you really think MOST men can’t take rejection? That a laugh men are train to take noting but rejection that is reality

[@anitaremenarova6662]

@@MrShadownetwork Generalizing of anyone is fine by me, women do this for a reason so it's definitely happening more than you think.

[@axain7784]

​​@@anitaremenarova6662Ironically you give me the vibes of someone who'd push harder upon hearing the word "No". The lack of consent is consent to you, you goddamn creep.

[@jeanthesplean5738]

If you’re ugly you’re creepy, but if you’re attractive it’s perfectly fine.

[@iamLI3]

facts

[@rogercameron6912]

Modern women aren't going to "settle" for average, hard-working men. Men, on the other hand, understand that they can be mutually perfect life partners for someone that isn't "desirable," but will never get that chance because they themselves aren't "desirable." Just give me the Princess Rosalina AI wife, already. I'll probably have an easier life and better children for it.

[@iamLI3]

who's princess rosalina?...

[@pokebronyborn]

I'm almost 28 with basically zero dating experience, and at this point I've simply internalized the fact that no one would/will ever want me. Trying is just a waste of everyone's time, energy, and money so I stopped trying years ago.

[@DblBarrelShogun]

I've noticed that people act like it's a recent development that men are less likely to approach women due to the potential outcomes, but it's not (in my own experience anyway). It's had the potential to turn into a landmine for years - you could become an outcast from social circles if a girl took it badly in the early 00s. Edit: 5:40 assuming you've got a friend circle like that. I've known groups of guys who would take the piss out of each other for being single and for showing any sign that they might need help

[@bigidibeng]

5:18 Happy little accidents. I am a quite introverted guy, and mind my own business, and am VERY dense. Almost all my previous partners picked ME up after a random encounter after they decided they like me. It could be someone who sits next to you or on the same bus as you when you go to school, it could be someone who sees you at the same coffee shop multiple times, it could be someone who comments on your post one day... it's very random, but yes, Matara is right in going after the things she wants, because yes, a lot of girls will be too shy to ask for things, or just speak their opinion even, and that's a bit sad because they miss out on a lot of opportunities, and I don't mean just dating. Just a little courage goes a long way. As for a guy, you will get rejected plenty of times, so either you kinda get used to it and it will be much easier to tell someone you like them, but I do understand that it burns you out after a while. But you can't really lose anything, so eventurally you will ( or you should :D ) try again.

[@JoseRivera-ym3wj]

I hit my 40s just months ago, and till this day, I never had a relationship. Not from lack of trying. Some fine ladies have caught my eyes, but I never bothered to get past companionship for some reason or another. I (still) have self-esteem issues, compounded by ASD and anxiety. And there are expectations and life goals I've been unable to reach because of that. I have let those girls know how I felt before they were gone from my life. They have married and even started families. I'm happy for them, and they will have a special place in my heart. The most important woman in my life is my mother. There are women that I've bonded with and respect their status as married but see as mother or sister figures. I do hope I find someone i can see sharing my life with. I just need to overcome myself. Matarakan is truly our roach mom. She want the viewers and the Momos to have a happy loving relationship.

[@CantusTropus]

Same, dude (including the ASD). I just personally think it isn't meant to be for me, and I've made peace with that. I've decided to just try to be the best man I possibly can be to others, and in the eyes of God, that'll be enough.

[@JoseRivera-ym3wj]

@@CantusTropus, it's OK with that. Some just don't find someone. May you be blessed with happiness and fulfillment. And may you find the one fitting for you, God willing.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

"God" has nothing to do with this you cult members.

[@CrizzyEyes]

@@youdontneedtoknow7548 My guy is seriously going around in every thread blackpilling as much as humanly possible, stating that it's impossible to get a GF and shaming men who accept that they can't. Why do you hate everyone bro?

[@JoseRivera-ym3wj]

@@youdontneedtoknow7548, and you went out of your way to disregard our beliefs why? What religious leader sexually assaulted you to be mad at God?

[@explosivesun8608]

It's not just dating apps, all of my exes were crazy and they were all people I met IRL. Either it was classmates from my high school or people I met after graduating at work. One girl was literally so crazy she thought she was possessed by demons, now every time there's a mildly attractive woman who's even remotely flirting with me I have a panic attack. If these are how people in the real world act, than how am I supposed to trust someone I meet online?

[@iamLI3]

yikes.... though possession via being a target individual by direct energy weapons is a thing so just keep that in mind , some people actually are actually having their thoughts invaded by malicious actors...

[@explosivesun8608]

@@iamLI3 bot

[@mightquinnable]

She is very hopeful; it really bad out here

[@MOONWOLF7395]

This cockroach is so inspirational I can't help but love her. I'm so glad I found her... again.

[@drockwell1583]

"I like nerdy men" ha ha ha if only that lie was true for real life. Shotgun Makeout keeps getting closer 😂😂😂

[@jacobcordova3825]

You dead yet

[@drockwell1583]

@@jacobcordova3825 Hanging in there

[@ishygddt72]

​@@drockwell1583you have to outlive nikocado, who is now relatively healthy. don't lose to nikocado

[@Sam-tw1nh]

Bro, she said verbatim "I Like" no "We all woman like".

[@iamLI3]

@@Sam-tw1nh and she also literally lied , brony....

[@leosborngamez470]

God she would be such a good friend. Id love to just hang out with her. She seems like that friend who will listen to your problems, hold you as you cry, and give you some friendly advice and then go get ice-cream or food.

[@iamLI3]

only if you're a tier 4 sub

[@saikoujikan]

I think the secret to dating is to not think of it like this big thing that you need to prepare for, and just focus on having a good time. Don’t come in to it with expectations, don’t try to achieve things like hand holding, or romantic situations, just have a good time with them on whatever activity the two of you are heading to do. If you’re going to a coffee shop, focus on having a good conversation, if you’re going on a walk, enjoy the scene of that walk with them, if you’re going for a movie then talk to them about what you got out of the movie. The main goal of a date should always be for the date to be enjoyable for the both of you. If you are both walking away from it thinking “that was really fun” then it was successful, regardless of whether it means the two of you will go on more dates or not. In summary, don’t try to be their partner, just try to be good company, and enjoy the experience itself.

[@discount_doom_slayer117]

For me, it's not a matter of being able to talk to people. I can hold a conversation fine, my thing is that I'm terrified of being labed a creep again. I don't get pretty privileges on anything cause I look like i'm 35 when I turn 20 in the next week, and I don't have friends that could introduce me to anyone or go anywhere with to do anything. I never ended up being the goose or swan or whatever, I'm just an ugly-ass duck whose kinda always been ostracized because of it. So now I'm weird, I'm ugly, and while I can converse with people professionally or as good friends, I can't really just approach anyone to break the ice cause generally, nobody wants to be around me

[@iamLI3]

that's unfortunate , but if you're complextion is making you look far older than you are then that means there's a lot of health problems you're suffering from that are biologically making you older that you gotta focus on healing first....

[@discount_doom_slayer117]

@@iamLI3 nah man, I hit the gym regularly, I eat my fruits and veggies. I brush my teeth, get my sleep, and bathe my body. I'm just ugly

[@iamLI3]

@@discount_doom_slayer117 ugly is a different description than appearing older than your age , oh well

[@abhmmh8892]

Translation: I like 7/10 to 10/10 men with a shy and nerdy aesthetic.

[@TheErilaz]

I don't think that Matara understands that many men just don't bother putting in any effort anymore. Many are afraid of getting involved into false accusations, that could lead us to loosing or job or end up on social media as a creep. Also, if one aren't good at judging if people are safe to be around and get emotionally connected with one rather just does not want to be involved. Let's say that one after many years finally gets close to a girlfriend and this happens: She had "forgotten her purse in a bar" because the friend of mine wasn't down to bumping uglies at that time. He didn't appreciate being treated as a replaceable toy, handled it really badly.Was really close to ending himself .Damn people like that. His feelings did not matter. She had very little remorse, "I wasn't myself".. Also, the constant noise in media that all men is bad, women want to be left alone, unfair laws etc.. The whole ordeal has become a huge mess.

[@SignalRaptor_]

I don't use social media at all. I don't have a twitter, instagram, snapchat, facebook, nothing. I have discord but I don't count that because i'm not in any public facing space, just hanging out with close friends from highschool. If i wasn't going to work every day i'd probably be considered a form of hikikomori where i never left my apartment except for food. I don't like talking to people, it's difficult to start conversations with strangers, and yet i'm cripplingly lonely and crave social interaction. I just moved to where i'm at this year and it wasn't under good circumstances, spent over half a year homeless and starving. I now know that even in my heart of hearts, that even when i'm starving and freezing to death, even that is preferable to me than attempting to talk to strangers, because I couldn't. I have a job now, and an apartment, but I don't have any friends. my work environment is extremely small and I don't click with the any of the people i work with on a personal level. I don't dislike them, but we just don't share a lot in common. I'm living in a city that's way larger in population than i'm used to, and i was already living in a large city before. I don't know what i'm supposed to do, and i'm worried that i'm just kind of irreparably broken.

[@CantusTropus]

I don't know you personally, but I just want to say that I feel for you. It's really tough sometimes. I don't have any sage advice, but I will say that your value as a human being isn't determined by any of that garbage. Jesus loves you even if nobody else does, even if you don't love yourself. I'll pray for you, brother. Please God, we'll get through all this, no matter what.

[@knightofficer]

I can commiserate with you, I'm in basically an exact similar situation, something I found handy was to get involved in a smaller discord around RPing, it was rough but I've been able to get at least some semblance of friends. Find a smaller discord based around your hobby you feel alright vibing in on your down time, with a smaller and less chaotic space you'll have more time and opportunity to get to know people there.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

Social media just isn't worth it but one could argue with KZbin is a form of social media.

[@Antony2618]

Keep working on being the best versión of yourself and trying to know what others like if you want to bond. Ill pray for you, have faith things can improve

[@elfireii328]

Like Matara says, there’s this stigma that guys who ask girls out might be called creeps, while the same stigma doesn’t exist for girls to ask guys out.

[@Strutsss]

It's not 'might be', they WILL be.

[@AnonymousVenator]

Only if they're not attractive enough which seemingly most are.

[@deadlymecury]

There is such stigma though. Not in a way of calling such woman a creep and also source of that stigma is women themselves. But it's kinda meh should approach first, that's a rule, you should not approach men because if you do so you are weird and that way you can only approach weak men that don't have balls to approach you blablabla. I can see for example how my sister is poisoned with that stupid idea.

[@justcallmekai1554]

I think there is a reason for it. It's because alot women run into creepy dudes often or know someone who has so it colors their interaction with every dude that approaches even the one that aren't "creepy" which is unfair. There is a reason why most women have an experience about such events compared to men. It's complicated social gender dynamics shit.

[@iamLI3]

​@@justcallmekai1554 "I think there is a reason for it. It's because alot women run into dudes they are not physically atracted to often" ftfy**

[@DarkQuill]

She's very sweet, I bet her friends all feel very lucky to have her in their lives

[@SevEvoimaru]

To Matara, regarding the problem our guy had with being afraid of women judging him, it's not that he's internally afraid & not much else; as someone who tried dating in more recent years, women have now weaponized being victims (a.k.a. "Professional Victims") or using humiliation for views & attention on social media. Guys are sick of it. And if it's not those things I had listed, then it's the problem with being catfished & feeling manipulated or being called a catfisher bc you call her out or she's secretly recorded you & her dating & then twists contexts around for, once again, views & attention. This makes dating a risk of encountering disingenuous women. And guys can't endure a person who is in a demographic that uses info twisting, rules changing, & devicive clout & followers to potentially extort or harass dudes. It's not pleasant & it's not rare. It's becoming a pandemic that's observed & qualified as far worse than the terror tuat was the CV19 pandemic.

[@Shadowstarr5]

For the Algorithm.

[@bc-cu4on]

Indeed. While male physical violence is mostly under control, women's social violence has been allowed to go rampant and unpunished for far too long.

[@MeowMeowMeowX3333]

​@bc-cu4on wow, I'm sure a woman reading that comment is sure going to safer around men.

[@bc-cu4on]

@@MeowMeowMeowX3333 Safetyism such as this is precisely one of the expressions of the aforementioned toxic femininity.

[@iamLI3]

@@MeowMeowMeowX3333 no woman is going to read that comment , they're too busy stealing men's wealth with the enforcement of the entire judicial system....

[@amuwastaken]

We are also blind to a lot of hints. One of my friend’s gf had to sit him down. Ask him out. And then explain every single hint she’s given him over the past 6 MONTHS

[@iamLI3]

that sounds like it would be cute , if it happened in an anime......

[@billwilson1225]

1:40 The worst is when they're offended that you would even ask.

[@fed0r644]

Man, listening to my parents about how things used to happen in this regard (I was born in 2000), I begin to understand that in addition to great music, I can also envy how people used to be... Simpler, maybe? When I listen to what people of those generations say, I get the feeling that it was not 30, 40 or 50 years ago, but 300, 400 and 500 for sure.

[@Dave-qz9tq]

If there's one thing I've learned over time that has helped me overcome my fear in talking to women and initiating ice-breakers with them, it's that you should not view nor treat them as a goddess just because you want to please them so that they'll like you. Treat them like a normal person so that you don't come off as desperate. That usually makes them more comfortable around you since you won't give off the vibe that you're trying to hit on them. If you are interested in them, let them develop interest in you first before you make any move to avoid being aggressive.

[@pokedude104]

At this point the woman is going to have to make the first move because I ain't putting my balls on the line like that... When anyone can whip out their phone and start recording, put words in your mouth or place feelings over facts to get you in trouble. Its just not worth it. I'm amazed more women don't approach really. Most men really appreciate when you're forward and honest about what your intentions are even if you're a total stranger. There's literally 0 risk in it for you, we can't go crying on social media or run to the police like you can. (Well we can but 99/100 times it ends with the guy being laughed at, ridiculed and dismissed) Or maybe i'm totally wrong and I just need to "man up". Whatever that even means now

[@Cool-Vest]

You can't always depend on other people to make the first move. Try approaching people you have already established trust with.

[@kaijuultimax9407]

The reason why more women don't approach men is because they're in an impossible position. Women are simultaneously fed this narrative that the majority of men are out to SA them alongside a narrative that social standards have changed and that women need to make the first move. This leads to what we have now where no one approaches anyone because men are told to wait for women and the women don't want to approach the men because they're told countless horror stories about predatory men.

[@xyanide1986]

Social media is messing with your head, this doesn't happen anywhere near as often as you're led to believe.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@Cool-Vest Problem is you can trust no one in this world especially not women they're two-faced.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@xyanide1986The fact that it is a non-zero chance is too much as is.

[@AceBattleStorm]

One thing that can be frustrating for me is when women can very clearly lay out all the reasons why they like being the one asked out, but for some reason can't see it in the opposite direction. I'm flattered by being asked out for the same reasons you are. It feels like there's a disconnect and/or lack of empathy in this scenario if that makes sense.

[@AceBattleStorm]

On the topic of disconnect, i also feel like people in general who say they like shy nerdy people don't seem to understand where those people tend to go out to lol. "Why can't i find a shy nerdy ()?" Idk probably because you're looking in clubs, bars, concerts etc lol. They aren't properly understanding this type of person. Go to quieter and less crowded places and you're more likely to find the type that likes those places

[@killthemwithfirelol]

They don't see it going the other way because it ruins the dynamic for them. It's not that they don't understand, but that it ruins things for them if they have to do the chasing. If they ask you out, they can no longer feign disinterest to salvage their ego if it fails, and they're also no longer sure of your own investment. In essence, they know it's a terrible situation to be in compared to being approached. It also keeps them from gauging if you're passive or masculine in your day to day actions; basically the whole dynamic becomes untenable for them. It's why this whole problem is one-way so far.

[@killthemwithfirelol]

​@@AceBattleStormAlso, regarding the whole shy and nerdy thing, that's typically a misdiagnosis of what they're actually looking for. They typically are looking for a particular emotional pattern, but they still need the person to be conventionally attractive, hence why they're never going to search for that person in the kind of environment you'd expect them to be in, because what they say they're looking for is often in spite of what they actually want. Shy is code for "doormat with no options" and nerdy is code for "emotionally uninvested/desperate". She's looking for a tool to use, not a life partner, and that tool still needs to be attractive in all the stereotypical ways, which never really happens in nature, hence all the complaining. It's all so tiresome.

[@SoccYT]

From my perspective, its more so because with at least how my generation operates you ultimately have less social skills and ability to read people (i mean no disrespect to my generation) than the more outgoing generations. Compound that with online social spaces, the various things that go into dating online/ in person and the perception of what is sexual harassment and how vague that is to people who aren't the person experiencing it leads to alot of people not really wanting to step out of their bubble. Alot of us have understood that times have changed in many great and worse aspects but the thing is I still feel like the expectations that traditionally were passed down on guys are still being pushed down towards us and as progressive thinking people we don't necessarily wanna operate on them but they are in some cases our guidebook on how to approach and date women. I don't think it should be but we're left with no option but to be aggressive or forward or just date online where it feels like people are more forward. I just personally don't wanna go beyond what's comfortable of someone's boundaries in the dating sphere but considering peoples boundaries are so widespread in variation its gotten difficult to test said waters. And it doesn't help that perception plays a massive role in either part. There's so much energy spent on the thought processes of how to make something not uncomfortable for either party that alot of the time that pushes people away from the idea of even considering. Personally I don't have a desire to date because I just find myself putting more effort into it than someone else. And I could put that energy currently somewhere else in my life and not be financially, emotionally, and socially affected each time I put my energy elsewhere. However I do wish people luck on finding a partner that matches their wavelengths.

[@anitaremenarova6662]

I wouldn't say that's the case, my social skills are great but society at large (at least the age ranges that would be interested in talking to me) are too closed off outside of their friend circle. We've just become less connected with time compared to previous generations.

[@wanshitong5101]

@@anitaremenarova6662Well, it’s really both. That actually compliments what ye said quite well. The few people who have very solid social skills are actually still feeling the negatives if the overall atmosphere being a bit harder to break through now.

[@SoccYT]

​@@anitaremenarova6662while you might have social skills, alot of people my age dont, and my sample size is not just 3 friends who talk to me its over 400 young guys that ive talked to recently. We have become less connected as well which plays a part. The internet makes it easier to do so. Being less connected means theres less reason to interact and develop said social skills which leads to people closing off.

[@youdontneedtoknow7548]

​@@SoccYT The pandemic was also a factor

[@tacoboy2218]

The worst thing she can say isnt no anymore. I myself have experienced the worst outcome which is a false SA charge it fucked me up massively to the point i couldn't look anyone in the eye out of fear why would i play a game where the price for losing is everything i work so hard to earn

[@camel_of_the_mojave8772]

Scary isn't as she says no scary is she says oh my God I'm calling the cops right now or even worse she says yes then when she thinks she has her claws into you she drops the mask and becomes a total raging psychopath who will never be held accountable for their actions short of taking action yourself which is frowned upon by all of society

[@Mediados]

To all the guys who think they have no chance: It's all about attitude. I've spent the past 2 years working on my whole bearing and self-confidence, and as long as you are shamelessly showing your personality, there is someone who finds it attractive. It doesn't matter if people cringe or condescend or insult. Know who you are and shout it off the rooftops.

[@nikson3720]

i feel like even anime conventions have more couples over the years. imagine conventions being the haven for nerds, then going there and you see many of the same nerds have partners. As a loner myself not out of choice, but because of bad experiences and my upbringing, i usually dont mind doing things on my own but being surrounded by so many dating couples makes me feel like im the odd one out (add on top of that, the countless groups of friends walking around)...

[@_Medley_]

You can do this, guys. Love is worth it.

[@GregAtlas]

One of the best pieces of advise I've been given is to go to ballroom dancing lessons. There's typically a disproportionate amount of women to men ratio at dance lessons and dances who are looking for a male partner to dance with. Dancing is a great way to be in shape and often requires all muscle groups to dance with, so you're also more likely to get partnered up with someone who is fit AND become more fit/attractive yourself as you improve, dancing is one of those activities where pairing up naturally happens, and it helps you keep young and healthy. My grandpa was going to dances well into his 90's about once a week and it worked for him. Another thing I can advise is to get strong enough to princess carry confidently. So many girls dream of being princess carried and every time I've offered (at nerd conventions at least) they've always gotten super excited, or sometimes self conscious about their weight, but if you're capable, that's going to be huge on their impression of you. Remember to make sure the lower arm/hand gets the skirt/dress so you're not flashing everybody, even if they say they're wearing safety shorts underneath. I once carried a girl who was about 250+ pounds and she was so embarrassed that I was shaking a little because of her weight, but it still made her day. I might not have been looking for a relationship with her or anything like that, but you know what? Other girls saw that I was capable and kind enough to try with someone one likely wouldn't want to even attempt it with, and that leaves an impression and a lot of girls will imagine themselves being carried, or any other kind of fantasy they have that involves a bit of strength.

[@thesealman254]

I'm genuinely curious how you do this with strangers. Isn't it a bit weird to just ask a stranger if they want to be carried?

[@GregAtlas]

@@thesealman254 Well, at anime conventions it's common to pose for pictures. I just ask if they'd like to pose like this or that as a suggestion. If they're not interested then that's fine, but I haven't had anyone ever say no before and they typically come away with a smile on their face. Usually when I offer it's something along the line of "Would you like me to pick you up for a picture?" and sometimes having to clarify a princess carry if they are confused since there are several different ways you can pick someone up. Sometimes they'll suggest a different style of carry like sometimes I'll scoop them up onto my shoulder to sit like they're riding a golem, which is more difficult but do-able. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be characters of the same series because we're all just having fun enjoying the same hobby. Part of is is the wording, too. "Would you like to be princess carried?" puts the prerogative on them compared to something aggressive like "I'd like to pick you up" that sounds kinda creepy and forceful. I'm offering for their sake, not my own. It's also more about knowing your environment. Obviously I'm not asking completely random strangers on the street and cosplay is something we have in common even if we are strangers. Plus it's a public place where if something actually bad did happen there would be witnesses, so it tends to be pretty comfortable for them from what I can tell. Still goes back to the main point of having the capability of doing that in the first place. Confidence and reasonable muscle mass can go a long way, but only work with what you're capable with. Nobody's going to want to be swept off their feet if they think you're going to fall over and get them or yourself hurt. I don't even have a body builder physique; just a little bit of basic fitness and strength that could definitely use improvement.

[@Jose_Doe]

And then you're seen as a creep taking advantage of the hobby

[@Strutsss]

Gee, I wonder why there aren't that many men at ballroom dancing to begin with. Something tells me it's because of #MeToo.

[@Strutsss]

@@Jose_Doe This too. I don't go to conventions anymore because I don't have any reason to go to them other than wanting to meet people, and I'm told time and time again that going to somewhere just to meet people is inherently creepy. Can't fucking win with anything.

[@focusedabyss8164]

22 years old now and still have never been on a date lmao. My main interests are gaming, guns, and anime. I think its joever boys

[@Wollfanges]

Personally i think (and that how i feel about dating) it's less about to have a no from a girl but having someone that reject you in a harsh way and make you feel like a creep or a bad person or make you feel like you will never find someone, your a garbage and hurt your confidence and self esteem i think these type of woman make man really scared to dare approach someone, maybe i'm wrong but for me it's that thing that restrain myself to approach someone fear to bother and thing i said. (and scared to be hurt again in a relationship not gonna lie) when yu are in school it's more easy to find relationship i had my first relation with school meet her like that but once you leave the school it's so hard to make friend and find a relationship

[@alolamao833]

It is so vindicating to hear you talk about this. I want to be an assertive man, but I am terrified of approaching people and coming off too strong and making them uncomfortable. It’s really nice to feel heard, helps a lot.

[@TheTsukiKnight]

As a man, often when you ask for advice on how to get out there on the dating world you’ll get told to workout and self improve but like I got abs now and I still don’t know how to talk to women 😭

[@renxiongmao]

Honestly the best advice I've heard this week, all things considered. I never expected a VTuber to be giving me a nudge toward being a "go-getter"