Matching People’s Energy: From Standing Up to Screaming, How Do You Argue?

When it comes to heated arguments, we all have our triggers. From standing up and over someone to screaming, we want to know: In a heated argument, do you stand up or are you one to de-escalate?
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#triggers #arguments #energy

[@Truther1903]

Loni is so wise and so valuable on this show. She always is giving precautions to the audience. Like “be careful with strangers though” that is very true. You don’t know who you are messing with..

[@Drawingboredi]

💕

[@romilycyri2043]

I agree

[@agathachris9722]

Agree

[@patiencealexander3646]

This is me all day I,m usely in defense mode if I feel attacked I will go into defense mood real quick

[@ImInLoveWithAllocos]

I love Loni, I do. God knows as a graduate curvy black woman who evolves in the media, how I relate to her. But her Captain Obvious style kinda bores me at times. Like she never expresses an opinion someone hasn't thought about yet

[@devin3955]

“She tried to fight me. I was ready to fight.” Lmaooo

[@shadezxz]

*that scorpio energy* 😮‍💨

[@TheDijahDiva]

Big New York energy

[@hurtspublishing3906]

True. Us scorpios always for the bs

[@michellehewitt-edmond6662]

That is our New York legacy..it comes out at times and surprises people. Lmao

[@jennymarie4073]

Kevin Gates in an interview said something wise lol. He said something along the lines of "im not going to get confrontational with you, im going to vacate the premises and let the clown have the circus. When you entertain a clown you become apart of the circus." I feel that way as I get older, I ain't got time for it.

[@JadeCampbell40]

Well said I agree

[@michelleimogu9296]

oooohhh 👏🏾👏🏾

[@rofrankie947]

My Momma taught me that lesson. Only I control me. Can't imagine allowing another person to influence my emotions. Adrienne is toxic for real.

[@no1onu2be19]

🎯❤️🤔💯

[@kaybee9071]

Oooouuuu! Thank you for sharing. I love this.

[@nellyib4399]

Adrienne gives me all the drama with her story narrations and I'm here for it. Love her!

[@elenavernet2289]

Ikr😂😂

[@meme-nq7cu]

What Adrienne's momma taught her is GOLD.

[@noxxie1496]

Adrienne's story about not wanting anyone to walk out of the door is so relatable.

[@mickey_dbeh6105]

Yeah, being shouted at hurts me. It makes me look at them differently. I definitely lose respect if it's not mutual. It's one thing for 2 people to be heated, another when it's being one-sidedly being shouted at.

[@michelleimogu9296]

💯

[@melissalitus8879]

Facts

[@rheapelkey9945]

That’s damn right

[@alext3480]

yessss

[@zn.mercury3089]

I shut down and go silent if somebody comes at me the wrong way. If it's bad, I walk away. Also, if I'm confronting someone over a personal issue and they take it to another level (getting loud, gaslighting), I still feel the urge to silence myself and walk away but over the years, I have learned to stay and defend my position.

[@zarahshabs7936]

That’s a hard thing to do when you’re used to letting it go! Good for you

[@morganmason5356]

I somewhat agree But sometimes I NEED to walk away in order to calm down and then come back and talk it out. Otherwise I could blow up and say REALLY BAD THINGS.

[@s.m6605]

I’m that way too

[@marciasilva549]

I live by the words "A b*tch ain't never gonna see me sweat". I pride myself on self-control. It's one of my biggest fears to lose it so bad that I do or say something I regret, that could irrevocably change my life or someone else's. All it takes is a single moment of impulsiveness and it's a done deal. Also, I mostly tend to shut down when I'm deeply hurt or seriously angry. Some people have that fiery anger and run hot, as seems to be the case with Adrienne. My family and friends have always told me mine is that ice cold type of anger, burns like ice. I get quieter, calmer and more polite the angrier I get, but also tend to lose the tact and sensibility that usually soften my words. If y'all believe in zodiac signs, I'm a Capricorn, with a Leo rising and Virgo moon. Enough said.

[@Msladyrae92]

I am very much the same way. I have learned to think about how it will affect me 5 years or 10 years from now,,, does it even matter in the grand scheme of things. Nothing should be able to steal your joy so easily.

[@miniplants3558]

I am the exact same. If someone raises their voice at me or throws a tantrum, especially someone I care about, I get veryyyy quiet. Almost as if I've frozen on the spot. In a weird way, that's my defense mechanism and I shut down and go into my shell to protect myself. I also have trouble unseeing someone act out of pocket even after the argument is over and can't really look at them the same way again (wild I know).

[@marciasilva549]

@@Msladyrae92 That's something I think too but for different reasons. One, I don't like feeling like I'm not in control of myself so anyone being able to affect me that much bothers me. Two, anyone outside of my circle doesn't register for me. I have to deeply care about someone for them to be able to land any type of hit on me. It helps, especially when you actively cultivate not giving a rat's ass.

[@marciasilva549]

@@miniplants3558 I just really don't like the way I feel or how my head works when I'm done, and I hate unnecessarily hurting people's feelings. I feel almost nothing and I'm all logic. It could easily make me cruel if I allowed it, because in that moment, I no longer have empathy for whoever I'm dealing with. Thankfully, it takes me a very long time to get to that point and I'm generally easy-going, communicative and level-headed. Sometimes people show us their true colours when they're angry.

[@ABCDEandZ]

wow I'm the exact same way !! & I'm a virgo

[@sabreen45]

I am just like A! “If I can’t sleep you can’t sleep either.” Literally my words and my exact actions 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

[@honeymoney23]

PEEERIOD

[@parrisnia72]

LOL! Well God said don't let the sun set on anger so I agree it's not good to go to bed angry in the middle of an argument

[@alexandraanderson3988]

@@parrisnia72 Yeah but I don’t think he would want people should be toxic to one another either like Adrienne just did & said. 🤭🥴😕 Like without walking away or trying to be the bigger person. Especially considering they weren’t even married at the time. She said he was just her neighbor, I think🤔 but yeah you do have a good point! 🤔😇👍🙏🙏

[@jazminehaughton9295]

The moment I'm called out my name I'm done I'm big on respect. The way a man speaks to you shows just how much he values you especially when he's upset.

[@TheLandingFlights]

Adrienne, my husband says...small people make up for the height being aggressive when they are in an argument

[@rachelbennett838]

Eh I’m also 4’11” and I don’t scream or yell or argue really. So not all small people lol

[@jyn88]

@@rachelbennett838 Right! I'm also 4'11" and I do not get all loud and yappy like some chihuahua. I am actually passive and try to avoid confrontation. It takes a lot of energy for me to raise my voice. It's very rare for me to argue and when I do my tone has attitude but definitely not aggressive.

[@LaPetite510]

Welp I'm 5'4 & super aggressive. I genuinely believe I need anger management.

[@rachelbennett838]

@@jyn88 yes exactly!!!

[@Sassy_Muffin136]

Idk about the aggressive part but a lot of short people I know are over the top and can be very boisterous. My mom always told me they’re like that to make up for the lack of height 🤣

[@sam4lemar]

“She tried to fight me, I was ready to fight” 😂😂 I can’t with Ade

[@blashell8209]

Did y’all catch when Adrienne was like, “Jeannie, Jeannie relax”🤣🤣🤣🤣 They wrong for trynna make Adrienne seem weak🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@sirizihindula]

I agree with you

[@kaykayw347]

“ yeah she tried to fight me , I was ready to fight “ 😭 I love Adrienne

[@emilybecerril4325]

Adriennes “you’re not being nice” 😂💀

[@gregsthrottle]

grl I FELL. OUT!!! Sutton in the house hahahahahahahahahahahaha

[@shellyhunt4910]

She sounds crazy

[@gregsthrottle]

@@shellyhunt4910 it’s an inside joke

[@xzavieryoung5465]

Did anybody else catch Adrienne's impersonation of Sutton. "You're not being nice."😂😂😂

[@enidwellness100]

Yes!

[@Anas-rx1he]

I love that she’s watching the show and supporting Garcelle. She called Dorit ‘Dorito’ 💀

[@KandMRule]

Yes😂

[@808rocker808]

Yes 😂😂😂

[@chickenback997]

100%

[@tranquilphoenix3862]

Don’t stand up, walk out, or walk towards me in an argument.

[@MegaDede1212]

Simple rules to follow

[@agathachris9722]

Exactly

[@bluebellcrushedvelvet]

Or what?? What are you going to do?? There always people who don't give a sh*t about your boundaries and values!! If they fighting with you real hardcore then it already says they are not respecting you. So why do you think you'd abide by YOUR rules??

[@SOSKinu]

Proverbs 15:1 "A mild answer turns away the rage, but harsh word stirs up anger." I remember one time a family member was yelling nonstop at me for something I didn't do. She seriously was ridiculing herself. I just replied to her calmly "what do you want me to do?". Right away she became so calm and we were able to have a normal conversation. At that moment I was so proud of myself.

[@F1SHB1TCH]

I was taught “ whoever raises their voice first has already lost the fight/argument”

[@mayloop123]

Lonnie was not having it with Adrienne today 😂🤣

[@Yemi927]

I don't know if that was funny or rude... When you stand up.... You look like you are sitting down!!! Too much Lonnie but I laughed? You know we love you Adrienne!! But imagine if Adrienne then said oh come on Lonnie give me that dress I can make three two pieces to make up for my height..and then says hey fat girl!!...🙄..errybody wld be up in arms!!

[@aAQEeprov]

@@Yemi927 usually it's a compliment especially on that part of the world to tell a girl she's petite or small so of course it won't be the same thing if Adrienne called Loni fat.

[@person8520]

@@Yemi927 that’s completely different

[@person8520]

@@Yemi927 plus they always talk abt ade’s height

[@natdivaz]

@@Yemi927 To me one is endearing, while d other is malicious.

[@Simplykiebby]

I’ve always been a non confrontational person and it’s led to people disrespecting me. So now, when people huff and puff I send out a warning. I always ask “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

[@joshuafighting___]

That Sutton expression. Hahaha I'm honestly all in with Adrienne's RHOBH innuendos 🤣🤣🤣

[@elishab4506]

"Yeah she tried to fight me. I was ready to fight." 🤣🤣🤣 well what happened after, adrienne!??

[@britjj5126]

Walking away from someone is such a boss power move.

[@hariadawson2437]

As I get older though I really do not care to argue. I love my peace and tranquility.

[@amrayabaptiste2933]

I hear you loud and clear Adrienne about not losing respect. That's so real.

[@fredahmurugi5620]

If we have an argument and I keep quiet and walk away, I checked out of the relationship years ago

[@antwanpena171]

I can’t with Loni 😂🤣 I’m on the FLOOR!!

[@jasmainjasmain2906]

I'm definitely one to stand up for myself yet learning to walk away from things to avoid something going bad. Really got bad after a traumatizing relationship that I felt I always had to fight back to be heard/respected.

[@moriyahnotmariah]

Anytime anyone raises their voice at me or speaks to me in a way that’s totally out of their character, it hurts me and I do not look at them the same after that. I’ve always been the type of person that’ll speak you to calmly and politely, instead of yelling or saying something crazy, even when I’m angry. What you really gotta worry about is if I’m silent, because that means it’s about to go down lol.

[@antwanpena171]

“ I was ready to fight” 😆😂

[@siviwetoyi2405]

Adrienne's makeup is so bomb, i love the face, earrings and the hair😍😍😍😍

[@ruthankrah7191]

Adrienne got me weak Lmaoo 😂 she said “yea she tried to fight me, I was ready to fight” 😂😂 I know that’s right

[@yahainHotPink]

This is deep. So many ways for me to respond.

[@fauxange1880]

I don't think a screamer knows they're screaming when in an altercation . Growing up with my father I was taught to choose your battles when an issues arise and if just little in matter take your leave

[@MissShardz]

This gave me jokes!!! 😂😂😂😂 Loni is so funny, love all of this!

[@dianaestrada8711]

Ugh yes!!!! Adriane thanks for sharing! I thought I was weird for feeling so crazy when people walk out! I feel the exact same way lol I can’t control myself 🤣

[@victoriawilliams7750]

It was so funny Adrienn said yes she tried to fight me and I was ready to fight 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@iamdniqua1]

Adrienne “yeah she tried to fight me, I was ready to fight” 😂😂

[@mona-ss4gj]

I felt Adrienne on that ‘Excuse me!!! Wake up!!!’🤣🤣

[@TheMichelleRena]

1A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool spouts folly.…Proverbs 15:1 I used to have a bad temper, like really would cuss you out and fight. Didn't matter man or woman. One day God led me to this scripture and he really began to deal with my heart. It has kept me a many of days from just really losing it on people, now my kids it's a different story - he's still working on me.

[@TiffanyNicholeCatley]

I'm like Adrienne. That's on anxious attachment. 🥲 And yes it stems from childhood and negative experiences in relationships.

[@euniceawosika3416]

I love the entire discussion, the vibes and the ooohhhh, 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@daboys7983]

This is the best dynamic The Real has ever had

[@elliecodner9018]

The chemistry on this season is amazing I’m loving it

[@Nmomo8691]

I love these ladies. These discussions are really so helpful.

[@laurzkw3674]

Thats the one Adrienne! You go knock on his door and tell him whats up 😂😂 “Never let the sun go down on your anger”

[@flores7190]

When you stand up you look like you sitting down 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was so good

[@paulagabriele3512]

Who remember when Adrienne and Jeannie was at Tamar Braxton concert and had an argument with some gurls there?! LOL Good story (and one of my favorite episodes). Jeannie imitating Adrienne was everything and more LOL Love this show 😅😅 God bless.

[@GTDiva24]

What when was this? Lol...Is it in a KZbin clip? I thought I saw all of them 😂

[@GTDiva24]

@@tiffanydaniel4261 omg! 😂😂😂 That's when A and Jeannie used to be on tha south side of the table lol. Thanks for the clip!!👌🏾

[@djm2985]

@@tiffanydaniel4261 thank you for posting 😂😂😂😂

[@savantcrystian2686]

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOUT THAT EPISODE😂😂😂😂

[@angelinaad209]

Out of all the people i wouldnt think A would be chill

[@apriaspeaks1427]

Adrienne is definitely ME! Lol all the wayyyyyy

[@mpram5522]

I'm with Adrienne. Out you walk we are done

[@Goodealchemy]

Adrienne has an abandonment attachment style

[@stacey2502]

"She tried to fight me, I was ready to fight."

[@Nash0303]

Loni! 🤣🤣 I LOVE this dynamic!!!

[@saraelisabeth9038]

I hate fighting. I will actually walk away and I’ve been known to give the silent treatment. Maybe it’s cause I’m an introvert and need my space though. And I hate that I sometimes end up apologizing first even when I wasn’t wrong 😂 But they do apologize too.

[@triciadenice5702]

My deal breaker is being called out of my name! If you’re upset, I can understand and we can possibly work through that but never call me out of my name or make me fearful of you (if we are friends, family or in a romantic relationship).

[@CapeverdeanBarbie1990]

I understand what Jeannie is saying about not seeing Adrienne get loud etc , because Adrienne had said before on this show that she doesn't like confrontation.

[@alexandraanderson3988]

Excatly so if thats the case so why all of a sudden she decides to put her defense walls up I dont know I'm new and don't know her like that just asking lol

[@CapeverdeanBarbie1990]

@@alexandraanderson3988 idk lol I don't remember, I stopped watching this show in forever now

[@biancaelmore3264]

Age and experience has taught me to not give someone my energy.

[@biancaelmore3264]

I’ll also say to myself in my head, “ oh something is wrong with them” it is easy to dismiss someone you think ain’t right. IMO

[@wemimoadebayo6675]

Adrienne mimicking Sutton had me dying🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Truther1903]

*YOU GOT YOUR JOKES* 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mikibell818]

I love it when people say "I dont see that in you" to me. Don't test me because just like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. 💁🏾‍♀️

[@TheeCoachg]

I get very condescending and dismissive in confrontation. My response to yelling and screaming is usually a smart ass remark,a smirk or something that fuels the other person to make themselves look like more of an ass.

[@awandezwane1500]

Adrienne is me LOL!! If a partner walks away in the middle of an argument I LOSE IT! I prefer to argue without shouting (learned that from my dad), but if you walk away, I'm shouting.

[@bluebellcrushedvelvet]

Yeah but what if the person literally cannot take it anymore?!? Seriously you can't hold them hostage!! Understand it from their perspective. If they can't take the shouting or the arguing anymore. It can be a sensory overload!! And it can become incredibly difficult for some to stay! They have to leave and take a breather! For them it's also a life and death matter! Ijs

[@alexandraanderson3988]

@@bluebellcrushedvelvet Exactly that kind of makes the person whos lookig for a fight people like Adrienne toic in a way since they cant seem to chill & let it go at the time and usually causes negative energy and vibe at the end for me and I like being around people with negative vibes because Im usually a dama free person. Not trying to call Adrienne out but that moment they talked about toixic character traits she should have brought this up I think lmaoo cause that just seems toxic to me lol

[@Vavavoum-gr8]

Raising your voice can completely slowly diminish respect in a relationship. Its something I just dont wanna do

[@crystalmasters8582]

Taurus right here we cool till you step forward ♉️

[@maame6224]

Good advise at the end aunty Loni!😊😊

[@stephanygomez8021]

Lmaooooo loni and that short comment for A 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

Loni 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 the comedic timing. Adrienne is a Scorpio and from New York and Latina. They don’t like that!

[@MajesticMyronn]

Literally I was having a conversation with a friend and they’ve been through so much these last 3 years and I think with that they’ve projected the way their energy with someone else they let go of onto me… and that for me was like see now I gotta have to talk to you about why I’m not gonna let u continue a toxic cycle because of one person u had issues with! I’m not a fighter or screamer… I’m a resolver and work through issues with people I care about ! That toxic yelling and giving up isn’t it

[@Sarah-zg2iq]

I’m 100% like A. 😂🙈 hate sleeping angry, not gonna happen!

[@TheKimieD]

I love the chemistry this season. LOVE LOVE LOVE

[@mgkb2818]

Energy u give me i give right back

[@yahainHotPink]

Loniii!!! 😂😂😂 Teasing Adrienne about standing up vs sitting down, lol. That was funny and cute. I'm another short lady. ❤

[@CaapriceTube1]

1:52 - LMAO

[@jordanlove9334]

Dang Loni was coming for Adrienne. 😂😂

[@diane2303]

i love the love between them. the short girl jokes got me on the floor :) I'm 5.0

[@curlygolucky]

It’s the NY in Adrienne that makes her like that to strangers 😂 I feel her on that

[@loveafrica97]

I just say “okay” and leave if someone’s yelling lol no ones going to yell at me.. I wasn’t raised with yelling so I’m not tolerating

[@marizona8334]

I'm all here with Adrienne HAHAHA love it 🤣🤣❤️

[@jyn88]

Adrienne is funny and I love her stories but she dominated the whole topic. I was hoping to hear from the other ladies too.

[@toshajohnson4838]

She always takes over the topics. I be wanting to hear the other ladies

[@shaedavis53]

The other ladies could have spoke if they wanted to.

[@aliondeck07]

Ad is a great storyteller

[@Purebeautyluv]

I feel like Adrienne is still mad 🤣🤣🤣

[@jenngala8450]

A got so hypeeeeeeee, New York in the building yalllll haha

[@s0ggywaffles338]

Im totally different from Adrienne. No no no, if you raise your voice at me that is disrespectful to me and I’m not dealing with that. We can have a conversation, but you are not yelling at me. I will not tolerate that

[@FlwrPetalsOnVenus]

2:20 I’m dead at the Sutton reference they wrong 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sophiareyna4087]

Omg I resonated so hard with that bit A said about walking out! 😳🤣 wtf happened to me as a kid???

[@K2023H]

That’s that Scorpio in Adrienne...🤦🏽‍♀️😂

[@MEGIDIOT]

I avoid. I’m non-confrontational because most people aren’t worth the bother.

[@XoXo-gl9hg]

I'm crying !!! I used to be the same way as A!! Bahah if im not sleeping you not sleeping 🤣 🤣 🤣 excuse meeee

[@allroundhealthtalk520]

I am Adriene🤣🤣🤣

[@DJMiaMoonBaby]

Adrienne is a new YAWKA. I can see IT 😂

[@svball123]

I LIVE IN GREENVILLE SC 😭😭😭😭 didn’t even know Adrienne was here 😭😭😭😭😭

[@leibnizth]

She tried to fight me, I was ready to fight 😭💀 adriennneeeeeeeeee

[@Thetruevirgo27]

I'm the same way with walking out .. Thank god I'm not alone

[@sashare1586]

I'm 1000% with Adrienne!!!! 🥴

[@jennifersutton3115]

I can't build on Quicksand! My foundation is God. Reading the Bible everyday. It Strengthens the Spiritual Fence around me. And the Green Pastures, i stand on. I'm protected by Faith! Whenever the storm's come my way. I can hv peace! While i wait on God. God won't let negative energy consume me. There will always be situations, circumstances, difficulties and struggles. Preparedness is necessary.

[@rennie7166]

I'm Adrienne 🤣🤣🤣

[@JadeCampbell40]

To me Adriana often comes off as being super clingy and insecure. If you're having a discussion and it gets heated it's better to walk away to regain ease & peace. We have to remember that each of us has a right to set healthy boundaries and to feel secure and safe. I'm just not going to stand there and continually argue with someone. I'm not willing to put out a ton of negative energy.

[@lk5393]

Girl, it's Adrienne. Or was that an autocorrect situation?)

[@Rio_Monique]

It sounds like an abandonment issue. I have the same problem. I'm doing self work and therapy but I used to take people walking away as abandoning the relationship just like her, and my feelings would be deeply hurt and begin to harbor resentment and not trust that person (thinking that they would get mad and leave me). I still have to tell myself that the other person may just need space and time to think. I find with myself that it's tied to a anxious attachment style (that I'm trying to change to a secure attachment).

[@alexandraanderson3988]

Exactly that just seem toxic and with toxicivity coes negativity and I'm not down with that or for that in general lol

[@micacarnell1430]

Not Adrienne calling out Greenville, SC like that 😂😭 no one ever speaks good on South Carolina