Matt Chandler Calls Out Singles

Matt Chandler speaking at the Village Church on October 19th, 2014 for Part 6 of the series entitled "A Beautiful Design". The sermon is called Incomplete.

[@samabebe9936]

Man I like how simple this guy puts it. This was so comforting and encouraging

[@socomgaming1014]

The message of not needing to have it all together was so freeing to me when I first heard this years ago and still is now, I’ve been struggling with that concept recently and remembered this, while I don’t have it all figured out career wise now and want to figure it out and make more money, etc, that dosent mean I can’t move forward and pursue somebody now. For those who struggle with this your not alone, and I hope you stay the course despite all the pressure from society and other to have it “figured out” you don’t have to know it all in order to move forward

[@jazzyjh]

Going through the sand thing now and learning this. I have been stagnant for too long.

[@HaLo_Zz]

I love my singleness! Thank you, Jesus that you are my contentment till you hand me my God’s best. 👌🏽💕🙏🏽

[@MrBilioner]

hey I think I lost your number 😄 😄 😄

[@MrBilioner]

@@AVL-Tree how can I lose it if I did get it in first place?

[@hamilton9651]

Still single or did you find your God's best?

[@danielledunsworth9229]

When I was younger I had a couple of college girls as my Sunday School teachers. I wanted to BE those girls when I grew up. Today I'm a college girl and a teach Sunday School class.

[@lapynjane1735]

I don't understand why are people against Matt Chandler. He is just speaking the truth and that's too hard to swallow for some. Get rid of your religious hypocrisy peeps.

[@coreyuber1]

You keep bringing the same argument, but you are clearly misunderstanding what he is saying. If you listen to any of his other sermons on singleness, dating etc you will see that he is not saying date any guy or girl who you like and "God will work out the details." He's simply saying that life is hard and things won't always go as planned. Just because a guy or girl doesnt own their own home yet and doesnt make $75,000 a year DOES NOT mean you shouldnt consider pursuing a relationship that leads to marriage. Besides all of those things, you need to be looking at character way before monetary things.

[@acharich]

☕🐸

[@martinathom5167]

+Voice Of Reason 4U thank you for illustrating my point

[@vcrashthegreat]

I know I'm late to the conversation, but the Lord is the sole provider and the only thing that matters is their heart to God. Everything in this world will fade, having a man/ woman who understands that and is willing to sacrifice all like Christ did is the best to spread the Gospel among the nation's.

[@stephenhowe4107]

It is over-simplistic. What about Christian men who are autistic? On top of that, what if you have Alexithymia? How will they ever understand the mechanics of pursuing? What if God does not bother revealing you have autism until 33 years after you became a Christian, and in all that time you wonder why relationships are hard to get started? What are your options then? And is your faith that God is good, still intact, then?

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

I feel like it's even easier to become a millionaire than to find a woman that will be willing to be patient and/or even work with you towards a better financial future. If you don't have it all figured out, you have a high chance of being all by yourself until it's done. The contrary is a miracle.

[@inphantri]

Kevin he doesn't understand

[@missNCW]

That’s a lie

[@missNCW]

Easier to be a man who can marry whenever

[@jamesonm.7925]

"Godly men pursue Godly women in friendship; In hopes that they will find a Godly wife..." Pastors don't need to be telling us this. We already know this. Godly women don't see or understand this at all. To women, the friendzone is permanent and they do not understand that a Godly man, that is friend-zoned, feels an abundance of misery when they hang out with you in a group watching you with your ungodly boyfriend.

[@bruceklein9917]

Exactly. "Let's just be friends" is a rejection and not a genuine offer of friendship. Move on and don't even engage. The friend zone is something men let themselves get put in because they don't understand the advantage of having options and an abundance mentality.

[@lucaspoles3251]

you sound mad salty my guy. You know that saying, don't put women on pedestals? Idols go on pedestals. The woman can't be the main goal, you already have to be working out your purpose on the path. I don't have it figured out either and still struggle to not make them the main goal, but I don't think you're seeing things clearly either.

[@framboise595]

@@lucaspoles3251 Why on earth do men put women on pedestals in this Western world of ours ? If they treated more like Eastern men do , we would not be where we are at now.

[@Angelalex242]

Do not regret the woman chasing ungodly men. She wasn't saved anyway, and God did you a favor by keeping her away.

[@robertnunez422]

You need to make clear your intentions from the beginnig. She need to understand that she likes you, and the frendship has the goal of a marriage. (Excuse my english, is not my native language)

[@RA-pb4gl]

I appreciate the advice Pastor Matt. But this is coming from a man who got married as a junior in college, so there’s not a lot of singleness he went through unfortunately 🤔

[@bekahleah574]

True. So hard to find a sermon on singleness given by a pastor that's actually walking in a season of unwanted singleness. And most sermons/advice on KZbin are given by people that got married young.

[@darkknight901]

I think sometimes pastors/preachers are the biggest hypocrites when it comes dating/marriage.

[@CptTibbles]

Sam Allberry is an excellent resource as he has never been married!

[@thelastjohnwayne]

Amen.... I have never been married and I have been a Christian now for 35 years and I am happy just serving God.

[@ricky7shy]

I am 50 and my single waiting for the right man thank you this is very helpful

[@peternygren3215]

@Amanda Salgado Oh SHUT UP! You slept around. You are no longer appropriate for marriage. DEAL WITH IT and quit blaming men for YOUR behavior!

[@ileanasantamaria2364]

@@peternygren3215 Such unloving, disrespectful words. Commands about kindness do extend to KZbin posts.

[@talilkr5238]

If you so want to get married you should not just wait, you should go out to the real Christian community and get yourself to know more people. Then when you find an attractive Godly man you should give him hints that you are interested in him, if he is then he will approach you if not move on to the next. or take time with the community and ask God, does He want you to be single and use you in the way He used the singleness of the apostel Paul?

[@framboise595]

@@ileanasantamaria2364 Yeah pampered women still wait for the "right man" because you know , they are soooo perfect themselves A perfect Proverbs 31 woman

[@edn3027]

I needed this. It makes me smile so big ☺️😄

[@acharich]

Voice Of Reason 4U 👀

[@edn3027]

Voice Of Reason 4U geez. I have pretty high standards for the men in my life. God will lead you where you need to go, and we don't have to have everything in the world to accomplish that.

[@KhyrisEidan]

@Wait J Gee... I wonder what your standards are: I think that you want a guy that has abs, strong... A man that will bend at your call.. A Man who lives under the motto of : Happy wife, happy life. Maybe have him change for you, sell his belongings.. Cause him to be something he's not. Supposedly be godly, when the woman is controlling feminist, wanting a white knight beta male. I think all females think the same.

[@framboise595]

@@edn3027 Yeah and what about YOU ? Do you come close to the beautiful Proverbs 31 woman ? Was not woman made for the man and not the other way round ?

[@granny2807]

Nevertheless pray for our single brothers and sisters.

[@RellGiles]

Yes please granny !

[@stephenstilwell1605]

Amen brother. I needed to hear this. More than often I let my own insecurities hold me back from pursuing a godly relationship with a woman. Mostly because of the standards society places on me. Keep posting, I love your messages.

[@Yazziza]

What I needed to hear.

[@asujongs]

Oh....i love it. Your wise teachings will definitely help people out there. 👍👍

[@AJDEFIXION]

getting friendzoned untill the girl is dating someone else and dont want to see you anymore

[@terryw.phillips7732]

Does this guy’s church have a singles ministry? What I have found being a 50s single Christian is that Christendom has abandoned Christian Singles! Bible says not to be unequally yoked. Where are you supposed to find Christian singles? In a bar? I find it hypocritical to bible beat Christian singles if you don’t provide a way to meet the need.

[@peternygren3215]

AMEN!!! But they only beat Christian MEN! Always to “man up”! How do we “man up”? By MAKING MORE $$$$$$ ...

[@framboise595]

@@peternygren3215 That's the problem living in a society where $$$$$$$$$ is the true god.

[@lilafeldman8630]

He's also talking about very young singles, who probably won't stay single.

[@brittanyeorr]

"and it. smells like. boy, yo.."

[@dianakatkout638]

I agree with the advice for women but I don't understand why the advice for men didn't go in a similar direction. These 2 put together makes it sound like women can have a fruitful life without being married but men must pursue marriage.

[@PaperParade]

I can see why you'd say this but I feel like what he suggested for both is also kind of not what both tend to do, especially within modern Western culture. Women tend to obsess over marriage, men tend to avoid commitment. Or maybe that's just my experience.

[@jackkramer9223]

Diana Katkout . He’s another one of those pro-family (anti-single) idiots trying to push everyone towards marriage. As a 55 year old bachelor, myself, my advice to him is to shut up. He is nobody to advise any man on whether to stay single or pursue marriage.

[@Mishael2023]

@@jackkramer9223 I don’t think that’s what he was trying to do. If you are happy single, that’s great. I think he was talking to those who are desperate to find someone and move too fast with things or do things that it isn’t necessary. It’s ok to just create friendships, and naturally along the way you maybe you find someone through that friendship. The same idea works with everyone no matter the gender. And he wasn’t saying women HAVE to go out and pursue men, it’s fine if you don’t want to date at all. I feel like he’s not just speaking generally, but to specific kinds of people.

[@saddletramp1776]

The Bible says it’s not good for a man to be alone… it seems to me that women handle being single with more strength, focus and determination than men do.

[@framboise595]

@@Mishael2023 "if you are happy single" It's not about that . It's about being able to do without sex. Because marriage was designed by the Lord for sex , for channeling sex and have children born in a two-parent structure. The Bible cannot be clearer but Chandler is not here to say what the Bible says at all . "To avoid sexual immorality , let every man have his wife (..) " 1 Corinthians 7:4 Who knows if they will always keep chaste ? Celibacy is about keeping chaste all the time. It is a burden that the Lord does not force anyone to bear .

[@jwow19]

Singles need help in the church. If that help isn’t there then stop talking about singleness. Singles don’t only need to be encouraged over and over again as that single sees 20 , 30 years pass behind them. Singleness talk from ministries has become almost unbearable. There must be something more from these ministries?

[@BruceJC75]

On the part about not having it all together, didn’t 1 Timothy 5 say that a man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever? There’s no question that God’s timing is perfect, but I believe He would speak more through His word than just through some gut feeling we might have about a potential spouse. He gave us His word that is full of practical wisdom for these huge decisions.

[@socomgaming1014]

Bruce Courtney I don't think a man needs to "have it all together" to provide for their family, all they need is a strong relationship with God and a job that can support a family

[@BruceJC75]

R Brown well then I would most definitely say he’s in the wrong, cause $12,000 a year certainly can’t provide for a family unless you were living in the 1930’s lol. He’s just giving bad advice. The second biggest reason besides premarital sex that people aren’t getting married is Big government has stagnated wages and killed jobs, so young men like myself have no confidence in what they’re able to provide.

[@socomgaming1014]

Bruce Courtney I agree that in today's society it harder to marry thanks to Uncle Sam, and I personally think college is the biggest scam nowadays and people are forced to go if they want a chance at making at least 50k a year without having to work for years if they where to work a job without a degree, and considering most people that go dont even get good paying jobs anyways unless you want to be an architect or something and know people in the industry so you can get a job afterward to pay loans, but most people don't and they end up in debt and it makes there situation worse and end up working the same jobs as the people without degrees, I have personally seen this in the work place myself, so if you want to get married you would honestly be better off going straight to work and saving money then blowing it on a stupid degree that will not help you anyways but anyways this was never how God wanted us to live but the world has created this demonic system but that doesn't justify fornication, first off if your job is only giving you 12k a year, you need a new job, there are plenty of jobs that don't require college degrees that pay at least 20-25k, i work for UPS, they start at 11 bucks an hour for my location, thats 21k per year starting, and they give raises yearly plus benefits, hard work? Ya but God never said it would be easy, this goes for marriage to. Second what would you consider to be "all together"?, the reason I ask is because many people and believers in general have unrealistic expectations of where they want to be before they marry, the first want to be making 100k a year while they are buying there new big house on a plot of land, when in reality all they need is a job that can put food on the table for their family, and a roof over your head, and you can do this with an apartment starting off, so no I don't think Matt is wrong here, obviously there are bare minimals to have before we get married, but we don't need to have a picture perfect life neither, I'm 21 currently working full time, so I understand that it sucks and that life isn't like it was in the 40s, but If marriage is something that you feel you can serve God in and desire Strongly then I would encourage you to find a decent job and start saving, and also cling close to God and allow him to prepare you not just physically, financially but spiritually, marriage is gonna require of us a type of spiritual maturity that can only be obtained with a close relationship to Jesus, so it's best to prepare now then later

[@BruceJC75]

R Brown it would be nice if women saw it that way lol. Even in the church, if you’re not making at least 40k with full benefits, you need not apply. Their definition of a “Godly Man” boils down to that magic number in your bank account. Sadly I’m just a little cynical.

[@socomgaming1014]

Bruce Courtney unfortunately yes there are lots of women with unrealistic expectations to, and just like us they are broken in desperate need of Jesus to, however I think both men and women need to stop fighting each other and need to show humility in that were both imperfect sinners (why else did Jesus save us?) Unfortunately the biblical roles for men and women have been so distorted and the biblical family picture has been so destroyed in society that even believers are confused, this is where as believers both men and women need to focus on God and his word and not what the world thinks other wise we end up being cynical and at each other's throats and confused, I'll be praying for you man

[@homeandjournal]

I truly love how he can talk to both men & women. He's not like "oh I won't talk to you ladies because I'm not one." For deeper issues, perhaps the women do talk to other women. But just love when he speaks to both! 👏🏽🙌🏽

[@godschild5647]

He's tlkn right, bless your heart 💗

[@Mel-gg3xg]

How about a sermon were we call out early married pastors who don't understand how frustrating and hard singleness is. It easy to judge singles when you're someone who never was single in your late 20s and beyond. Not at all encouraging 👎👎👎👎👎

[@beingroxy]

Yessss 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I love this !!! Gosh fresh breath of air !

[@BruceJC75]

I agree that it's absurd to try and be completely established and stable, but women don't want a man who isn't. They just don't. You gotta have it all. Or am I just being cynical?

[@BruceJC75]

+KingdomChicc I think there's too many guys who are losers and treat women like crap, even in the church, so that becomes the norm and it ruins it for good guys.

[@mcamila1993]

Bruce Courtney First off, it's not the wisest idea to put all women in a single box. Yes, plenty of women want a guy that is well established and stable. However, that is no guarantee for a good ever lasting marriage. Bruce, you don't need to have it all. (Secret! No one does). Don't carry with such impossible weight. It robs you from things that truly matter in life. I pray for God to give you a true, fresh perspective on this. He will give you rest and contentment that your soul needs. A man pursuing God, hard-working and hungry to improve is a blessing from Heaven, in my opinion. Everything else will fall into place.

[@mcamila1993]

Voice Of Reason 4U I'm curious to know why you are asking a question like this. Homeless people, for what it looks like have lost hope and what to fight for. God knows what they have been through. It is really not my place to speak about them. I know very very little. So, I'm sorry that I have to assume. Homeless people are not usually "eager" to find a wife. He can love the Lord like you said. Remember God created us to work hard and to do things beyond our wildest dreams, desires and hopes through the power He gives us through Jesus Christ. We were not created to be homeless and settle down. When you love the Lord, you act on it. If you are talking about his homelessness like a very difficult time in one's life. Hey, we are human. It's understandable. Now, when one loves a man or a woman. You want to give her/him something so much more than a shelter. Think about it yourself. That's not a decent way to live. While I'm not saying to ditch the person out because he/she is poor. The couple needs to get in their feet and work towards a better quality of life. I'm NOT saying work until you can afford a mansion and a few cars. I'm just talking about food and a small place with walls, lights, a bathroom and a bed. A decent way for a human being to live. Everything else will come as they continue to work and grow in the Lord. I'm not sure if I answered your question, but I hope I helped.

[@acharich]

☕🐸

[@NDMeow93]

You're not being cynical, you're being sexist. But I can't blame you, you've just watched and taken in the words of Matt Chandler. I get annoyed, for a second, then I think of Jesus. And how so different this Chandler guy is from him. I pity this guy, how he believes his own bullshit, and I pity the idiots who follow him.

[@brianhood8827]

I agree & Very true, but it’s so easy for married peeps to lecture singles lol

[@CarbideSix]

Yep, pray for the friend zone and then pray she decides to marry you. Yeah, this video has aged very well.

[@kfaith97]

“Well you better move on” 😂

[@smartiemart252]

We have to understand that God created men and women to be married read the first 2 chapters of Genesis. Singleness is a gift from God for His pursuits that's what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 7.

[@davidmckesey7119]

Ooof. That income level man talk got me.

[@emmagrace5787]

ah love this! Thank youuu

[@jorgedominguez7092]

I haven't heard Matt in a while. His ministry is vital for millenials.

[@peternygren3215]

WRONG. He is COMPLICIT in the death of marriage with this HERESY!!!

[@mrshmuga9]

“You don’t need to have it all together” Ya right. Try telling women to date men with low-paying jobs and they’ll all laugh. You don’t need to earn 75k, but if you’re only earning minimum wage, save yourself the embarrassment.

[@bethanyannsimpson5861]

Hi, I'm a bit late to this party and, I think there's some truth in what you're saying but it filled me with sadness to read it. Women nowadays, especially young women, (I'm 25 myself) have a perception of wanting a man that has it all together. But actually we should be striving to find Godly men who, may not have it all together, but are striving to live for God and be mroe and more like Christ. If a guy who wanted to date me had a low paying job but obviously worked hard and served the church and showed lots of godly character then I would be very inclined to say yes to dating him but if he had a low paying job and was lazy, showed no service in the church and showed no godly character then I would say no. The job to me is not important. Obviously, there are a lot of things we'd need to "click" on but I think men and women in their 20s need to realise that no one has everything together in their 20s.

[@mrshmuga9]

@@bethanyannsimpson5861 That would be ideal, but unless she's *really* attracted to him, she can just move on and find another guy who does have everything. Moreso when she's younger (throughout 20's, maybe early 30's). It's only when she's older and desperate that she'll give guys that don't have everything a chance, because she won't have much of a choice.

[@bethanyannsimpson5861]

@@mrshmuga9 if I'm honest, I don't think anyone should get with anyone if they're desperate but that's a separate issue. As I said it is a sad indictment of younger women today that we tend to go that way but it's not all women. I can only speak from personal experience that if I was to be pursued by a godly guy who didn't have it all together but had drive and ambition then I would stand by him. If he had nothing and had no drive to get anything or provide in anyway whatsoever that's a different story but if he's a hard worker but all he can do right now is volunteer while he's looking for work then you see those godly qualities coming through. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way saying all women my age or younger think like this, but this is my experience and I think they should think like it or try to.

[@darkknight901]

That’s easy for him to say he met his wife when she was 17. 17 year olds don’t require much

[@heartrootedinwellness4513]

God completes us.

[@mandarpeshwe1994]

This guy married at 23. Is he qualified to do this rant becoz he hasnt experienced the pain of being single for too long.

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

He probably doesn't wish anyone to experience that, especially not just for more financial comfort.

[@RA-pb4gl]

Exactly! I’d rather listen to a single pastor like John Stott about this!

[@danielsjohnson]

Notice the caveat he (rightly) added on the end "[marriage] is awesome... once the thorns and thistles have been cleared."

[@Snooperzan]

Perfect way to get friend-zoned

[@patriciaroman7985]

I'm 35 and I'm so tired of being called the "S" word. Single

[@peternygren3215]

Then WOMAN UP and PURSUE LIKE RUTH!!! If you are single as a woman, it is because you NEVER let any man know that you were interested!!! You just believed HORSESHIT like this instructing you to wait!

[@peternygren3215]

… the BIBLE tells me Ruth pursued … GOD'S WAY, the WOMAN pursues ...

[@peternygren3215]

HAHAHA. Provide me the verse that instructs men to pursue women!!! WHERE IS IT?!?! In EVERY Biblical example of relationships, THE WOMAN PRESENTS HER AVAILABILITY TO A MAN!!!!!!!! Come, WHAT is the verse??? You got anything beyond your DISTORTED “he who finds a wife” LIE??? WOMEN pursue for women are attracted to men that they feel that they had to win away FROM OTHER WOMEN!!!! Am I to be condemned to Hellfire because there are ZERO godly women MY OWN AGE in Minnesota?!?! I am 29; I will NEVER find a TRUE CHRISTIAN aged 27-29 (APPROPRIATE AGE) who is a VIRGIN, won’t be a LAZY “stay-at-home wife”, doesn’t seek “provider and protector” but instead seeks COMPANIONSHIP AND LOVE, and doesn’t have tattoos ... EVERY woman I have turned down tells me that my ideal woman “died out in the 40s”. SO BE IT!!! You FEMINISTS destroyed God’s plan! YOUR interpretation of the Bible is wrong, not mine. You must be Catholic/Mormon HAHAHAHAAHA!!!

[@peternygren3215]

STILL single at 57 and wants to pretend she knows what Biblical relationships are ... 🙄 If a woman is still single at 57, it is HER FAULT!!! She bought the LIE of playing “hard-to-get”. She NEVER made a man feel VALUED in his efforts to be with her. She demanded to be wined and dined without ever doing her part in a relationship! She sought out OLDER men for their “maturity” ($$$$$), “confidence” (hormones), and “protection” ($$$$$$$$) ... instead of the Biblical teaching of seeking SEX, LOVE, AND COMPANIONSHIP ... She demands a leader ... but REFUSES to be led ... you want to object EVERY suggestion he has on a date, and then classify him as “weak” for not being an asshole. Let’s focus on that a bit. To be a leader and to pursue ARE OXYMORONS!!! If you want a leader - if you want a MAN - then YOU must follow, and YOU must pursue him! Don’t sit here and pretend that men are called to pursue when women make their DISGUST for men who show ANY sign of attraction quite clear! You women CRAVE attention from men who are not eager to give it ... which means YOU PURSUE!!! Now be a good CHRISTIAN girl and quite trying to argue Biblical doctrine with a MAN - be SILENT!!!

[@peternygren3215]

... I'm waiting on that Bible verse ...

[@erichchristian8743]

It's good to have a sense of direction but Chandler is right- having it completely together would be someone with an illusion and my instinct, struggling with this myself is them trusting in themselves and not in the Lord, that said, know your own heart.

[@HarrisonBurnette]

y’all singleness is a gift from God. that’s scriptural. not everybody is intended to marry

[@LaneCarter]

2:35 "When Lauren and I got together I was making 12 grand a year. 12. Broke." Me (making 12 grand a year): ....

[@Ancient_Oracle]

Amen! Praise God!

[@mathewrichards7309]

So good

[@jvolstad]

Doesn't Paul say it's better not to marry?

[@rubenthompson5900]

That’s Paul’s words, not God’s

[@jvolstad]

@@rubenthompson5900 Who wrote most of the New Testament?

[@framboise595]

He also says get married IF you cannot control your desires because celibacy is about constant chastity and it is a burden that God never forces anyone to bear , knowing how vulnerable people are when it comes to sex , which is natural and the way God made us. "To avoid sexual immorality , let every man have his wife(..) " 1 Co 7:4

[@shenraj885]

i find it kinda unfair that single women are supposed to sit in singleness and then single men are asked to pursue. shouldn't single men be equally attentive to walking in singleness? why the double standard? I mean at the end of the day the one person who set the greatest example of singleness was Jesus- a dude. The one person in the bible who talks about how great it is to be single is Paul- a dude again.

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

Single women are not supposed to sit still. Just as men, they are supposed to seek God and find his purpose for their life and start working towards it. Meanwhile, if they find a Godly man they are attracted to, they must subtly show to him that they are available and interested and ask God to handle the rest.

[@Angelalex242]

The gift of singleness seems wiser all the time. It is my path at least. It worked for Jeremiah, it worked for Paul.

[@squali1930]

Matt Chandler just said yo. LOL.

[@JohnCichy]

: -)

[@TeddyFreddy94]

Most pastors like this guy are completely out of touch with what it means to be single and over 35. They have no clue and no desire to understand

[@jovin1515]

"put your shirt on bro" made my day 🤣

[@bananabatsy3708]

Men, if you are pursuing a godly woman as friends in the hopes that she will marry you some day, it is not gonna work. It is wise for both men and women to be intentional in dating, while praying to the Lord for discernment and wisdom. Have we not been trusting the Lord enough to take risks in his name?

[@mariesavannah2369]

well said yet only true conversion can make this happen when we don't know God we will live according the the flesh

[@valev3729]

YES !

[@RellGiles]

Thank God for Matt Chandler !

[@trottheblackdog]

Did he just tell young men to get friendzoned?

This guy has probably never heard the term before; he's really out of touch.

[@StEvUgnIn]

You got to friendzone any girl you meet. Singleness is made for sanctification before marrying your chosen one if you permit me using the term.

[@rileysimpson6046]

Steve Huguenin ^^^

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

@@StEvUgnIn That is just empty theories. If you choose someone, she is not just a "friend" anymore and you know it.

[@StEvUgnIn]

@@Kevin-jc1fx It's not about choosing, it's about how you fit together

[@travisweaver6709]

Does anybody have the full video? This is fire! 🔥

[@fido3449]

I bet you clear more than 12k now!

[@kleptosepto1848]

Hey matt 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. We also were allowed to have multiple wives, but God warns about that as well. Marriage and women bring trouble. It's not wrong to stay single. Maybe you should sit this one out, Matt.

[@ene2082]

Godly men pursue godly women for friendship... Please, teach men how to actually be just friends with women. I can guard my heart from now until Jesus returns but if men simply don't know to have healthy, platonic friendships with women, the burden remains solely on me to keep things from getting messy. Some lines are obvious but many don't know how to not endanger the emotions of their female friends.

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

I think calling this "friendship" is an inappropriate and dangerous wording of the situation. If 2 people see each other as potential romantic partners, playing the "friendship" skit is hurtful for both. If you feel like dating, be open and intentional about it, if you don't, be clear about it too. If he texts you often, gives gifts, kind words, likes spending a lot of time with you and/or touch you (even only appropriately like simple hugs) etc, then he is not your "friend" but a hopeful future husband.

[@framboise595]

@ Ene Silly just silly ! Men don't need women for friendship ! Have you ever heard about such a thing as male friendship ? What do men need women for according to God's will ? Right from the start , why did God create the woman ?

[@framboise595]

"but if men simply don't know to have healthy , platonic friendship with women" Well , my dear , let me put it simple for your little brain : men were made to have platonic friendship with MEN and sexual relationships with women. There is a reason why the Bible calls sex the "natural use of the woman" Romans chapter 1 God diod not create the woman to be "friend" to the man . He created something called sex that is totally put on the back burner by hypocrite churchians who never relies on the Scriptures but pretend to be so spiritual ...

[@fido3449]

Why does he shout so much ? What does he know about being a woman ? Why does he think about high school girls and young single women so much ?

[@Fatelvis2]

I understand that you dont have to have it all figured out but shouldnt you have SOME financial and career stability before pursuing women I also question pursuing friendship yea it makes sense but dating is a new concept people used to court I know 2 people 1 atheist 1 I believe Hindu when they felt it was time to marry they interviewed women looking for a mate/wife the atheist has been married for years and has I think 4 kids first 'date' he was asking tough question because he was 'dating' with intention

[@deepred2628]

Godly women? Where dey at?

[@peternygren3215]

EXACTLY!!! They aren’t in church!

[@SomethingBeautifulHandcrafts]

I could say the same for Godly men. Churches are full of women where I live, and the bars and street corners are full of crack dealing/smoking men. If any do show up, it's just long enough to seduce some silly man starved woman to get her pregnant and leave. There's always two sides to the coin.

[@peternygren3215]

You’re such a LIAR!!! There are NO young women in church and there are NO young men in bars. BECAUSE BABY BOOMERS have forced ALL young people to work nights and weekends!!! I haven’t been to church in ages and have ZERO social life because I am CONSTANTLY working!!! I don’t know a single Millennial who isn’t in the exact same situation. When I am in church, NO MATTER WHAT CHURCH OR WHICH STATE I AM IN, I am the ONLY young person in attendance. LIAR!!!

[@peternygren3215]

@Amanda Salgado You better WOMAN UP then! Because we CHRISTIAN MEN should expect NOTHING less! Keep crying with all your tattoos, promiscuous pre-marital sex, your desire for “maturity” and “confidence” (ahem, $$$) from much older SEXUAL PREDATORS ... and then cry about how you “aren’t perfect” ... LOLOLOL! 😂😂😂

[@marysanchez2981]

Deep Red We'r HERE y'all are just not looking

[@bluehorizon9435]

Here we go again - a married Christian preaching about how it's okay to be a single Christian. Yeah, right...

[@arposcl3music903]

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:8-9‬ ‭ESV‬‬ “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:27‬ ‭ESV‬‬ “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:32-35‬ ‭ESV‬‬

[@framboise595]

@@arposcl3music903 No sex in marriage according to Chandler ! According to him , a husband should go to bed EXHAUSTED 7 days a week No energy required to fulfill the sexual duty that holds the couple together so tightly and avoids so many useless struggles against the flesh.

[@go_to_explore]

Why he scream so much ?? :)

[@TheKritter91]

Besides the strange shouting and fluctuations in your voice, you often deliver a very practical word. Good gear, bro!

[@marytitus88]

I mean I could tell younger women the truth about what I've learned about my walk in Christianity and how bad things are and what to avoid but nobody would want to be or stay a Christian. It's by the grace of God I havent killed myself yet (that's how deceived people are and how bad it is) but I guess Jesus might come back soon so maybe none of this matters. I just didn't want to be alone while the world goes to hell anymore.

[@buenafuente8375]

Naa dont think its true this is little irresponsable you dont need a planed but you definetly need and income and where to live an a base plan for at least the first years go to bible don share your experiences as teaching

[@heisenbergkierkegaard3982]

There are so many Christian singles out there who impose things and set boundaries on themselves that can't really be found in the Scripture. Or should I say, a grave misunderstanding of Scripture. It's sad that some fail to enjoy the wise exercise of their Christian liberty because of some seeming biblical restriction you put on yourself. Every serious Christian needs to reconsider and re-evaluate beliefs and practices they caught on earlier on their walk in the faith then compare it with Scripture. Hearing something from another believer or inside the church is not a guarantee that something is Scriptural.

[@Mr_Gabbles]

Imma say no, young adult singles should generally not be discipling teenage women. Both should be discipled by their fathers first, then their mothers, then other mothers and taught how to be a good wife and mother

[@martinathom5167]

I don't know what highschool girls you hang around ... but most of them don't think a 20 year old is cool,,,they are more like peers these days, not mentors

[@nei_hmande2427]

The link said "Calls out men" Video says "Calls out singles" maaaaaaan

[@crazyleaf257]

Good good

[@missNCW]

Always singles getting called out like children, by married people who go home and have sex and enjoy life, after shouting at single people for what?? Being humans like married people? For having feelings. Unfair double standard and hypocrisy.

[@damianwhite9058]

When you begin to speak, do you automatically presume everyone in the first ten rows is deaf?

[@Ronsley]

Hmm. The phrase he keeps repeating, about Godly men pursuing Godly women for friendships hoping for marriage, is total garbage. He says it like it's Biblical - it's not. He's not quoting the Bible when he says that. He thinks men should only have friendships with women if they're looking to marry them? No. That is an unhealthy way of viewing friendship, and women. I'm sure he's addressing the problem of not establishing a friendship first, but the way he phrased it is sexist and encourages using people. I agree that discipling / mentoring others (younger or otherwise) should happen, as a single person or not. You definitely don't have to be perfect to be married - it will bring out all your imperfections, anyway. My own opinion on the salary critique is that when the focus is on money, you are trusting that money will make your marriage, but not trusting that God will.

[@cazdl]

+Ronsley No man. haha He is not saying men should only have friendships with women if they are looking to marry them. He is saying that when you want to pursue a woman for marriage, you will pursue her for friendship first and hope it will grow. He is basically saying - don't try to romanticize her, or make her fall in love for you if there is no real interest on knowing her heart, soul and caring for it. He is just the opposite on using women and playing with their heart. Pursue her in friendship and hope it will grow. This will protect her, her heart and you. Thats what he means, maybe watch him a bit more you will see him saying all of this.

[@MarkSeydel]

Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD."

[@peternygren3215]

STOP taking that OUT OF CONTEXT!!! FINDING A WIFE = ACCEPTING THE WOMAN WHO PRESENTS HERSELF AND FREELY GIVES HER LOVE!!!

[@framboise595]

@@cazdl Amazing how we have complicated the whole thing . The Bible is so straightforward : you get married because of your sexual urges first and foremost. The friendship stuff is BS . Men do not seek friendship with women but sex. How manly biblical men were compared to the simps who listen to Chandler ...

[@jvolstad]

Godly women? I am reminded of the Church Lady on SNL. Isn't that special. Dave Ramsey might disagree with you about marriage before getting your life together. Money is a major cause of divorce. I have a degree, work in IT, and am debt-free

[@KhyrisEidan]

So women can be single... Men are called to search for a women as friends to seek for a marriage?

[@1969cmp]

Kyris Eiden Miss the point. While you are single, do something constructive with your life now. The point on men deeking a godly wife ties in with women not sitting sround for Gerry Maguire. Both men and women singles. Live right and do something. And remember, how long is this clip?

[@iambored9060]

Teach Christian women to not expect men to be perfect and men will stop thinking we need to be perfect

[@tamelamecum7511]

I can agree with a lot of what he has to say but Jewish men prepared a place for their betrothed.

[@lindstheteacher1611]

Dude, you’re married WHY you be ranting about singles?

[@MaddRabbitx]

$ they prey on christian singles and make books/ speaking tours/ videos, etc. to line their pockets with basic, self explanatory stuff as if most Christians can't figure it out if they stop to think about their singleness for more than a few seconds and apply a bit of Bible and Logic to everything. I saw another comment on here about being 'sick of married people saying things about singleness'... I have to agree.

[@RoniiiB]

🔥

[@hamilton9651]

For me being alone and celibate is the only way I want to live!

[@PatriciaRoman-sr5ho]

What I hate is that it's always someone marriage teaching about singleness. Smh

[@crazyleaf257]

💛🧡💜💙♥️💓

[@crazyleaf257]

💙♥️♥️💙

[@martinathom5167]

I'm sorry fellow but your advice is very poor about planning. Granted you can't control everything but a man and a woman need to do their best to plan. Proverbs is about planning ahead. I think it talks about finishing your yard work before establishing a home... I would be extremely concerned never planned ahead.... I would run for the hills. My dad always advised get an education get a job and then marry and plan ahead for y0our selves and future children... the man doesn't need a million dollars... but he needs to be practical have common sense save money and we live with in our means.... that would go for me... M

[@snackpup]

Yeh he who finds a wife! Not a selfish child!!!

[@catlady3147]

7 yrs of misery? Give me a break. And now look at him.

[@justyrahiljohnson4438]

Who would want to get married without being settled? Isn't that like a very risky thing. I mean in my culture, both the guy and girl has to be settled to get married. Most of us get married only around the age of 28.

[@whittakerdanielj]

Pursing? The pursuing isn't any good UNLESS the WOMAN also decides to HAVE PARTICIPATION WITH THE MAN in the relationship. If that woman doesn't want to be a friend, than she won't walk into marriage with him. point blank. He has the right woman for me, and it'll be in how he decides, even when I don't "pursue". I'll find a wife in the way he has created me to: I'll be myself in how God created ME, and she'll be attracted to me and I to her. But actually going to Scripture, look at Proverbs 18:22: "Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." The key word people love to point out is "find", like the man has to go around and "look" all over the place. This is what has been ingrained in our minds in the church. It's all about us, no, it's about God. But here's the Hebrew word for "find" and it's meaning: H4672 maw-tsaw' A primitive root; properly to come forth to, that is, appear or exist; transitively to attain, that is, find or acquire; figuratively to occur, meet or be present: - + be able, befall, being, catch, X certainly (cause to) come (on, to, to hand), deliver, be enough (cause to) find (-ing, occasion, out), get (hold upon), X have (here), be here, hit, be left, light (up-) on, meet (with), X occasion serve, (be) present, ready, speed, suffice, take hold on. We're not told to pursue a woman, but God, gentlemen, and ladies. So we can say that "finding the Lord's favor with a wife, she'll be revealed, she'll come forth to the man, will acquire and be present by the Lord's hand." This takes a load off my mind that God has the right one for me, and I'll be right for her in God's favor, God's blessing that only comes from his hand, not by my hard labor, but she'll be worth waiting and working for in how God has created me. I am to be a man who fears the Lord. I don't know about you, but knowing this, makes the wife he has for me all the more precious and valuable to and for me, and I want to be the same for her. Amen.

[@YTTraveler777]

You still have to be open to it and prepare. You can't sit and pray and do nothing. You go out and meet people in faith. Don't be a holy shut in! I bet you're still single. If not I bet you were actively seeking a mate when you found yours thus making you a hypocrite here. Your piety reeks to high heaven!

[@beingroxy]

Daniel Whittaker I see what you’re saying but it’s seen this way ! Just as Jesus pursued us And he is according to Scripture “the groom” and we are the “bride” the church ! Jesus pursued us his bride He is the Head, just as the men are the head of a household they are meant to pursue naturally built in them to hunt or chase ! Yes Adam didn’t do much but he recognized Eve was his wife ! So should men be able to recognize “that’s her” as God reveals it to them ! Don’t be lazy with it and expect God to drop her in your lap, I love how Matt explained it ! Pursue God and he will lead you to the woman he wants you to be with ! Trust Him and Follow His lead !

[@thelastword4616]

Roxanna has it right. You MUST pursue. Also, sitting idol is practically foolish. Jesus never sat idol waiting for us, he went to the cross without our falling into his lap. Be diligent.

[@shenraj885]

so relieving to see a DUDE who GETS IT- PLEASE can you sahre this with more singles dudes otherwise they'll all start believing lies!!!

[@whittakerdanielj]

@@beingroxy I never believe that nor say it. That's just laziness. God create humanity with a purpose of being productive, so sitting back and not being actice in friendships makes no sense.

[@missNCW]

What an unkind way to talk to women - bet he doesn’t talk to his wife that way or approve of men talking to their wives that way. Because married women are highly respected - and single women get treated like children. This proves it Because we’re single we’re automatically bitter with a cat - do married women get these stereotypes about being frigid or lazy because they get provided for? No.

[@crazyleaf257]

Wowowo wow

[@johnhaleii208]

The church absolutely does not care about singles looking for a Godly mate. God apparently does not care about us either. Knock and the door shall be opened, ask and you will receive is a lie in my life. Twenty years of begging in my prayers and serving in church nearly non stop have only brought tears in regards to my deepest desires and needs.

[@vibeauxssxuaebiv3489]

God doesn't just give you what you want. That verse isn't about how God is giving everyone what their heart desires.

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

I am so sorry for you mate it certainly is very disappointing but the blame doesn't go on God. You are playing a game without understanding the rules. How many relationships have you been into? How many Christian sisters have you dated? When God created Eve he did not push her into Adam's arms, he just put her near him, she started walking around him and HE STARTED speaking to her. What women will do is show themselves available, you must be attentive and caring enough to notice those subtle signs. Then you must go towards her to make sure you got it well. If she is not interested, just move on. God will not knock at your door and hand a woman over to you. People in some churches do not regard dating with a good eye but you will have to ignore that. Remember weddings are celebrated in your church every year. Those people neither ordered their spouses on Amazon nor did they get together on the wedding day. They have been building up their relationship while you were too busy praying to "get" one. Be strong and learn the rules. God bless you.

[@framboise595]

@@Kevin-jc1fx Why has getting married become such a difficult thing for Christians ? It is just crazy . It should not be difficult because marriage is what keep us away from temptations. How come Christians are not on the same page today ? Young girls should be given in marriage as in biblical times. We have forgotten that the woman has been created for the man's sake and letting her go free ride , spending their time in uni or on the job place seeking for careers is totally insane. Girls should be given to men at a young age. Too much choice and opportunities for women is highly destructive.

[@framboise595]

@@Kevin-jc1fx There is something sooooo wrong about women today . The feminist mentality has crept into the church screwing male/female relationships. The me mentality , the my body my choice , female careerism etc... All those things are contrary to God's teachings

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

@@framboise595 I agree with your point, too many Christians are drifting towards a secular lifestyle, trying to prove their worth to the world instead seeking their God given life purpose. On the other side, It has become harder and harder for men to get financially ready for the responsibilities that marriage implies. Most men now get marry around 30, what will the girl live on in the meantime if her parents can't take care anymore ? I think balance is needed here. A higher education and a job are not bad for a woman as long as she knows the Godly order of priorities and is ready to let any of these go if/when needed. The temptation of getting married just for financial security has led a lot of people in the wrong arms.

[@YTTraveler777]

I disagree. Sisterhoods are severely flawed. Gossip, affirming character weaknesses. No. Women need to get off the couch, get to church, the gym, stop eating junk-food, have some personal dignity, ware clothes that fit.....and find a good guy who can marry you! Perpetual single women are single for reasons and none of them are good God honoring reasons.

[@SomethingBeautifulHandcrafts]

Hmm, hardly biblical. Perpetual singleness is in the Bible, and for God honoring reason. Jesus said some are eunuchs from birth (the so called gift of singleness), some are made eunuchs (not necessarily by choice) and some make themselves eunuchs for his kingdom. Paul encouraged both men and women to remain as himself, as to give aid to working in the ministry, without being hampered by caring for a spouse. The Bible makes no promise that everyone will get married, and while it's a good thing, to keep the human race from dying out, it's not mandated for everyone. And hmm, take a big look at society, there's hardly one man for every woman either, kind of physically impossible. How about men man up, stop trying to get with every woman they see, commit to one woman, stop committing crimes and doing drugs to keep from being incarcerated, get their selves in church and pursue the things of God, end these wars that send young men to their deaths, and perhaps there would be more marriageable men in the churches.

[@framboise595]

@@SomethingBeautifulHandcrafts Perpetual singleness = doctrine of demons You are advocating something that is way too harsh for so many people out there and not normal or natural anyway . You think you are so spiritual by putting sex on the back burner ? "while it's a good thing to keep the human race from dying out , it's not mandated for everyone" So malicious really. Do you know that the NT does not even mention that ? If it is true that procreating matches naturally (with no human use of birth control) with marriage , it is also true that it is NOT AT ALL the reason invoked for marriage . The NT says we get married in order to procreate ? NO. It says we get married in order to AVOID TEMPTATIONS 1 Co 7:4/5 Do you realise that what you preach is a doctrine of demons ? Why is it so hard for Christian men and women to get married these days ? Because we do not seek to protect ourselves from temptations at all cost. Marriage shoud be an easy thing , a way to protect ourselves . A necessity . But men and women are at war instead of being one in Christ fighting the same fight

[@daniiiakasha1436]

It’s idolatrous.

[@torferguson3866]

Just to attract a higher value woman you're going to need money muscles game. That's why men hit their peak much later than women, we have to work diligently to acquire the resources. This guy doesn't know how dating in 2023 works!

[@missNCW]

He literally talks more softly to men than women - is that Godly? Does he speak to his wife that way? No, because it’s not loving and he knows it. Single women apparently don’t deserve love or even some compassion- he’s openly mocking single women.

[@benvowels5316]

Jennyhow old are you?

[@framboise595]

More Satan-driven misandry.

[@Annie-wg3ud]

Men and women can't be just friends, Matt. SMH

[@NDMeow93]

He is disgusting.

[@pink11514]

why do you say that?

[@sbryan060]

+Natalie Di care to elaborate?

[@NDMeow93]

Marissa Wingender Firstly, he is so full of rage.Look at how he is screaming. Look at how judgemental he is. He is NOT at all following in the steps of Jesus. His vile attempts at humour consist of mockery, and are so SO based around stereotypes its gross. He is so out of touch with women, young people, probably even most men. Aaaargh please...

[@NDMeow93]

sr bryan See the above!

[@pink11514]

+Natalie Di watch the full sermon. he's not full of rage that's just the way he gets his point across. and sometimes you have to yell to get people to stop talking and listen to something important. and hes not the only pastor who yells when he teaches. he's passionate and he cares. he isn't angry. I've watched other sermons from him and I love him.