Matteo Lane Needs Us All To Stop Mistaking Matteo For 'Potato'

Stand-up comedian Matteo Lane breaks down the internal process of the barista who genuinely thought his name was 'Potato.'
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@ryanoster9382]

When you randomly click a video and just happen to be a gay Italian pharmacist living in Cleveland...

[@gothsurfshorts]

Ryan Oster omg that is hilarious

[@jiongc]

Can I have your number?

[@azimxmalik]

lolololol

[@kjdnyhmghfvb]

The clandestine coincidence of it all.

[@jrg305]

Do y'all crush herbs in a mortar with a pestle?

[@giorgiofabietti7816]

Woah, an Italian-American from New York that can actually speak Italian!

[@giulia2098]

I'm half Italian, yes he can🙂

[@Anankin12]

Giorgio Fabietti Ha un accento americanissimo, ma sì

[@dangen5299]

Ma neanche così tanto in realtà

[@a1ntcry1noveru]

Anankin12 that is to be expected no?

[@Anankin12]

a1ntcry1noveru penso di sì, ma è proprio tanto forte

[@jacobgarsson2447]

ive never seen a dude with a high pitched gay voice do an impression of an even higher pitched, even gayer voice. Was not disappointed

[@FillipJPhry]

I found Mateo about a week ago and I'm glad to see there's at least 5 years worth of KZbin clips that I will be able to binge on

[@hendemedstokken]

Same!!

[@baileymoski]

same!

[@Jazzy_Monae]

Right! Love this guy

[@alisonarias978]

Me too 😂

[@ringsofblayze4026]

I just found him today

[@WEwalked]

The bit about two gay employees is too true.

[@IDiggPattyMayonnaise]

I've worked at Starbucks with two gay employees so can confirm.

[@torontomame]

I BURST out laughing at that bit. I have been the 1 gay employee manning a sinking ship, and I have also been one of two gay employees dishing and getting nothing done. LOL

[@almightyalan8942]

I worked at coffee bean with 1 gay can also confirm

[@roddo1955]

Uh....we're talkiiiiiin

[@TheDaneMan]

Spot on.

[@daveez]

I swear I heard Stephen call him "Potato Lane" at the end

[@MissKellyBean]

David Zhao he did! :-D

[@brycewalburn3926]

Nah, he didn't. There's no second "t" sound. Listen close.

[@MissKellyBean]

Bryce Walburn You're right, I listened again, and "Matteo" was clear as day. But I swear last night when I listened to this, I heard "potato" too! haha the power of suggestion... ;-)

[@michellecallard2261]

Yes. I had to listen again, but you're totally correct!

[@champ5902]

@@brycewalburn3926 Actually he said potato with their native accent (as usual) so instead of the "t" it is an "r".

[@TheSnowReport28]

As a former Starbucks barista I can confirm that we just write whatever we hear 😂

[@salumbre365]

And, as someone who goes to Starbucks all the time... I KNOW. I have a very simple name that is spelled the same in most European languages... and I have seen all kinds of weird misspellings on my cup.

[@ghosty4]

Right. The joke is, at what point did you not realize that "Potato" isn't the name of a person? It's a vegetable.

[@gothamsangel]

I'm partially deaf so it was always a struggle.

[@mygetawayart]

I KNOW. the couple weeks i spent in the USA i would always go to starbucks using different names to see how badly they misspelled it. I never used my real name lol. The best one was Pino, they just wrote Penis. I still have all the cups.

[@calisongbird]

@@mygetawayart I love that you kept the cups 😄

[@chelsea.1234]

“it’s the lowest form of drag” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mundoluk]

5:58 "Potato Lane everybody!" 😂

[@nicidienase]

Okay, it wasn't just me who heard that!

[@jackjacket8114]

that must be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hardcore joke """"if"""" it was on purpose

[@jackjacket8114]

he actually said Matteo, but you can't blame the starbucks employee now can u!

[@vinzayer]

i heard the same thing. did he really say that? haha

[@tonyf8872]

potatoes like to be peeled 🥔

[@volevosolocommentare]

I am so sad the public didn't get the "MANGIA!" reference. Definitely no Italians there

[@arturomestanza]

Well, that's a VERY specific reference. Only Mediterranean people would get it.

[@joela6895]

Is it “eat”?

[@giusoriano]

@@joela6895yeah

[@raypearson3513]

I got it, and now I wanna have dinner with him.

[@Sammstar420]

I mean I knew that from learning Spanish in high school.

[@vincebay1798]

Matteo doesn’t miss! He’s one of my favorite comedians.

[@fry6344]

This is as they call it "a breath of fresh air". Very funny and an amazing way to represent the gay community.

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

Feraidun Haroon A breast of fresh air. =)

[@nihilnovum5034]

His delivery might be fresh and compelling to some and he can obviously work a crowd but ultimately his material is weak. If his whole act was on the level of "my glasses are as real as your job" and the pharmacy school joke i might be more down with calling him good, but being completely honest i think he needs better jokes. I'm not saying he's shit, but he needs to work at it.

[@fry6344]

ei mitää I actually agree. I love the dude because he was very funny, but his material isn't as strong. I guess he's just starting out so maybe later on he'll get some good jokes cooking, but ya good point.

[@stashem89]

this dude is not funny and overwhelming with the fruit material

[@dmc8092]

Yeah, he didn't say "bitches be shoppin'" or "did you ever notice" once.

[@eb1900]

the thing about more than 1 gay no work gets done... 😂

[@PhillyFrank1]

And the first part -- the "one gay guy" at the Starbucks near me keeps the place humming. Not sure what would happen if the place added another gay man.

[@rainesages]

Even as someone who doesn't work at Starbucks, who is also a massive homosexual, this is entirely true. I can't help myself, my inner know-it-all comes out. However at my LAST job there were at least three of us and NOTHING got done lmao

[@joshuayeager3686]

It’s true though

[@urfavweapon719]

True. My coworkers don't get shit done, lol.

[@alexakate]

as i gay i can relate

[@starpupilz]

I've seen two different people cry laughing at "You stop writing on the cup" when I show them this clip. Great bit by Matteo

[@creativewriter1046]

I was laughing so hard I was crying & then replayed it to watch that joke again! 😂

[@Miss_Camel]

@@creativewriter1046omg same,I had to pause the video bc I couldn’t breathe

[@alexanderlopez-guevara8357]

Oh my God, when he stepped up his gay voice to imitate the barista, I LOST IT

[@bethanylnguyen]

And his straight voice at the end was SCARY

[@hibaali3797]

I don't understand why Matteo doesn't get more RECOGNITION, HE IS SO FUNNY, MORE FUNNY THAN SOME COMEDIANS ON NETFLIX....

[@elizabethmentz6157]

Before watching this it never occurred to me that one could mistake “Mateo” for “potato”, but I thought that part was hilarious. Come the end of the video, by which point I’d forgotten about that part, I could SWEAR I heard Stephen Colbert say “Potato Lane, everybody!” 🤣🤣

[@DrrMiMi]

Me too 🤣

[@sunreginatto_99]

ME TOO

[@craftyzisme]

Me too! I replayed it lol

[@suburbanindie]

I think Stephen is trolling us

[@candice9777]

I swear he did

[@emogirlhashervengz]

I loooooved this! His material was good and his delivery made it even better. Well done, Matteo!

[@MJAY-N7129]

It's incredible

[@BonBon-oq5pl]

As a gay who wears glasses, I don’t find it bad that he wore fake glasses. I imagine that he would look cute in glasses.

[@randomlibra]

Same here. Besides, I also wear contacts and have many glasses that look good with different outfits. Why should we get to have fun with eyewear and then get pissed when someone else thinks we look good, so they emulate it? It's a compliment :) ...I know. TWO YEARS LATER. But still relevant!

[@crittah74]

Girl, Matteo would look good in a potato sack!! The boy is foin!

[@CortexNewsService]

Another gay with glasses and yes. Plus he makes the porn stache look good.

[@user-fx9vq7gf3j]

came for the moustache, stayed for the high fade..

[@cheesecakelasagna]

fr lmao

[@82Catfish]

its a shame because matteo does SUCH KILLER CROWDWORK. but thats not really allowed in this setting, he seriously shines when hes able to talk with people.

[@markphc99]

being gay sounds exhausting

[@DogsBAwesome]

as shown by 8 seasons of will and grace.

[@TCt83067695]

Mark Callaghan lol why? you mean the dating?

[@jare3959]

We just make our lives sound exhausting, when really 90% of our day is scrolling through Grindr and Instagram.

[@nahor88]

Gay people have it 100x easier than straight people with dating; THERE'S NO COMPETITION. Gay men especially will go after your dating profile the same way straight men go after women's profiles.

[@jare3959]

That actually makes dating more difficult. It makes hooking up easier. Not dating.

[@andya539]

1. he knew potato was reffering to him maybe he was the only person there or has a unique order but besides that it worked 2. what is his arm routine I'm gay for them biceps

[@GrahamCrannell]

For real. Dude is jacked.

[@jauipop]

Just started to follow his Instagram, and man, he's top of the food chain gay hot. *goes to the gym*

[@andya539]

Top of the dude chain

[@dylanjones268]

Andy A I laughed a little too much because of this

[@GayLitesFTW]

as far as his biceps. just look at him talking. he moves his arms for every syllable.

[@Elladan32]

when I heard Starbucks name jokes I was afraid because it was done like a bilion times but he actually was funny so good job Potato !

[@hd-xc2lz]

Except that customers often give fake names (like potato) to the barista for the cheap laugh of hearing it said out loud.

[@pennica.illegale]

Matteo is a riot. He's making me laugh so hard i'm in tears

[@TightMoneyGripp813]

Yo, that slither was damn near magical.

[@jessestradaa]

as a starbucks employee, I can confirm he said no lies 😂😂

[@childofpersia1213]

I like this guy. He's very natural

[@neventomicic330]

First time I watched this when I was in Germany, the beginning wasn't so fun. Now I am in Italy, and I am lathing my ass of. So true, so true.

[@mikecole1664]

This guy is funny. Great timing and delivery. A+😃

[@ManyGhosts]

I love this guy so much. Hilarious and very fresh. Tons of personality.

[@Iman-iy7gc]

His italian was actually good! And the accent lmao

[@oliverjohnkallesoe443]

redhoneysurwine i mean, he is part Italian and he speaks Italian often

[@rizzofromIndo]

well, he is actually italian. hahaha

[@federicoluccichiarissi6289]

Most ItalianAmericans don’t speak Italian or have shitty Italian. Some have never pronounced their own last name correctly like Giudice

[@cheesecakelasagna]

Federico Lucci Chiarissi his family prolly still has strong roots in their actual Italian ancestry.

[@PhillyFrank1]

Adorable -- and funny as heck. Dead on about internalized homophobia and heterosexism among Italian men -- bad combination of machismo and Catholic guilt. Kinda wish he were still a current opera singer in addition to doing comedy.

[@michikomanalang6733]

PhillyFrank1 Ay, Francesco! What have you done!

[@ShweMyaukMyauk]

Very true

[@nyctophile117]

As a pharmacist I thought it was funny😂

[@wickkidda]

While you're here, what exactly ARE you trained to do?

[@happyjellyfish]

pharmacology. they know drug interactions and should be able to answer most of the questions you have about your medicine. the ones *not* working in clinics and hospitals, however, i'd say double check to make sure...

[@miriamspringett3797]

I felt defensive about the pharmacist jokes, because in my experience I've found certain pharmacists to be more helpful than doctors :D So some of us appreciate you guys :)

[@thejsquad33]

Generally? Verifying prescriptions/orders, drug interactions associated with other drugs you're taking, food you eat, counseling how to take them (I've heard stories of patients putting pills in their ears, though I haven't experienced that myself.), and notable side effects you may experience. Juggling your medications, medical history, and preferences to give you the best medication regimen possible for your diseases/disorders. Pharmacists at chain pharmacies are geared toward patient counseling (or it should be...). They deal with various patients under the sun and their insurance. Anything that goes wrong is often blamed on the pharmacist, but usually, it's actually the insurance that is the issue. Pharmacists in hospitals do not generally have face to face interactions with patients. They make sure doctors have correctly dosed a medication and for how long (For example, antibiotics are incredibly important to get right, especially which antibiotic will kill the bug causing the infection.), or if there are any issues concerning other drugs the patient is currently on in the hospital. TL;DR: They are pretty much the last drug safety-net between the doctor and the patient. So, no, I don't agree with Matteo when he inferred that pharmacists are not important or are fake occupations. Also, most pharmacists I have encountered only wear a lab coat in the presence of patients, not among each other. Some organizations/institutions have a dress code concerning it, too.

[@wickkidda]

Now I just wanna know who these people are who think pills go in their ears. Do they walk into the pharmacy with like their clothes on backwards and their glasses upside down, hair all disheveled and make-up smeared all over their face? lol. Maybe shoes on their hands and gloves on their feet.

[@ypdd91]

The shade is strong with this one 😂

[@laurenmatal353]

He's the best! I'm ready for more from him. Also he's right Starbucks isn't good and it's not getting better

[@Happytravellerkimmy]

I hated Starbucks until I stopped drinking coffee.

[@lagreif]

To be fair, I work in a biochemistry and molecular biology lab and there is almost never one single person in the lab wearing a lab coat

[@satnitcboy]

But at the Clinique counter, required.

[@nicchauvin1096]

LOL, Tom! I almost peed!

[@kuba0008]

@Rahi Le_Shanbi no it's a branch of biology - basically it describes all the chemical processes that occur in your body cells

[@strangerdanger9395]

thats because youre not making dinosaurs.

[@chrissabal7937]

That voice impression at the end though XD flawless.

[@UhManDuhTv]

I love him

[@pisto30]

Got recommended one of Matteo's videos over the weekend and now I can't stop watching. Hilarious and crazy talented!

[@konnerdent4835]

When this man gets angry his voice becomes Waluigi.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

lmao cannot unhear

[@itslav3330]

Why am I just hearing about this man! “It’s not a real job!” No expectations and laughed the entire sketch 🖤

[@Justicio35]

This is a tamed version for television. The unedited stuff at comedy clubs is much much better.

[@ReynaldoRoman]

Wow I had zero expectations and was treated to a amazing 6 minutes of laugher.

[@masomamakes2004]

"Potato Lane everybody we'll be right back!"

[@deecohen1383]

I’m so psyched that he is on my favorite show I just found him in a fit of insomnia last night and I bought a ticket to his NYC: show in March 2023 at the beginning I can’t wait to see this guy live

[@SergeMagnavox]

Love the character, delivery and writing. Got me a new fave

[@vivandav67]

He is so freakin' adorable..😍..and funny..

[@matteoiafrati2254]

Finally someone pointed out the same issues I have with my name too! Love this guy, new favorite up in coming comedian !

[@nickmello8528]

so proud of him!! finally making it to mainstream TV

[@Caninecancersucksrocks]

When you randomly click on a Stephan Colbert video and you realize it’s the amazing, wonderful and hilarious Matteo as the preforming guest. Well played Colbert, yes indeedy…well played.

[@dadosamac]

Thank you S. Colbert for recognizing talent. Mateo my friend you made me cry laughing. Can't remember last time I laughed that hard. Thank you man

[@annieoddo1475]

Matteo lane is one of those people who doesn’t know how to NOT be hilarious, ever

[@yesenialopez8067]

That's called shade

[@harlandted]

You nailed the content, the delivery and the guy in Italy. Bravo!

[@vickihernandez3641]

Two of my faves . Stephen and Matteo!

[@hannahw90hw]

omg the bit about one gay worker manning a sinking ship vs more than one and nothing is done is so so true!

[@namaste_charlei]

I was in TEARS! I love this man! 😂

[@beanem.3989]

I just saw this comedian for the first time - LOVE him 😍

[@Josh1OD]

Woah! I didn't know he went to Stephen Colbert! What a legend!

[@taurus1234]

This guy is on fire he is flaming!

[@cloud__99]

He’s my new favourite he’s hysterical 🤣

[@waifubot8783]

oh my god this is hilarious, I binge a lot of these but this stands out as one of my faves

[@pete7389]

Funny as hell. Good work!

[@AndyNoH8]

This was hilarious! I loved this set better than the newer Netflix set! 🤗

[@RatchetRalph]

Matteo is hilarious

[@KristinaBowen]

Love love love his energy - good set

[@michaelrobson3460]

Just brilliant to see Matteo getting the exposure he deserves!

[@chrisewan673]

Hilarious. More of him, please.

[@cjsmith1402]

Omg my favorite human being on this planet!! 😂😂😂

[@lisahughes7377]

He has honed his skills over the years. You can tell that he’s uber nervous here. Now he just works a crowd like nobody’s business.

[@lanacherie184]

Just absolutely love his vibes and energy ❤

[@Wonderwooman18]

He’s hilarious! Found out about him from Snapchat’s Ghost Hunt series and glad to find out he’s a comedian! No wonder those episodes are so funny

[@RoseXo]

I will never get tired of watching this

[@mendypeters8489]

OMG , LOVE LOVE LOVE so original. i've watched like 5 of these already he's by faaaaarrrr teh bestest, he made me laugh not stop back after back after back. LOVE!!

[@miraclewalkerproductions]

OMG I just LOVE this comedian!!! Absolutely brilliant and DAMNED funny

[@AndySaenz]

I love how he jokes about typical Italian-American stereotypes. Ha ha!

[@zshrft5104]

His face expression is so funny 😂😂😂

[@amazinginspiration]

THAT WAS REALLY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@supermilkguy]

I love the way he slithers in

[@andrewpearson3516]

Omg I literally can't breathe, fully cackled at that

[@manu-l7284]

I want to laugh with him sat at a bar until my eyeliner drips and say:"LOOK MATTEO, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"~running away sobbing.

[@kentpierce9910]

This guy is hilarious. I keep seeing his videos. Always funny.

[@lechatparlant]

OMG Matteo!! Your teacher voice. Love it!!!!

[@vidishajoshi9482]

There's just something about gay comedians they're so funny and adorable at the same time be it Joel Kim Booster or Matteo. They are both amazing at their job

[@bryannsotomayor2575]

602 Starbucks employees and pharmacists disliked this.

[@antonstvo]

Well now I hear Colbert call him Potato Lane at the very end and I can’t unhear it!

[@dawndipierro373]

I absolutely love this guy!!

[@herbanox]

This guys is hilarious!! I second you on the lab coat. I actually do work in a lab but we are the last people you’ll see wearing white fabric lab coats. We wear disposable ones.

[@susanjaskulek4280]

The best...new comic to me....more please.

[@vinzayer]

I heard stephen saying “potato”, what kind of sorcery is this. haha

[@monicavigoni3253]

I just love u. Lost track of the times i watched this... Still laughing

[@jamesgonzales7994]

So HANDSOME!!!

[@lorofcb3]

Haha for once an American who says ‘I am Italian’ who actually speaks decent Italian.

[@nababa333]

OAAAAAAA he's really great

[@TheKonstantinaK]

I love this guy!!!

[@Lerildeal]

I love this guy!

[@lemonmart7793]

On his entrance he sighs an octave starting on the pitch of the final piano note lol

[@jauipop]

I suddenly have a new crush.

[@Thomas-qf6bf]

You’re awesome, dude!❤️🙏🏻

[@michaelsingslive]

ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!! I'M SCREAMMINGGG......"alright Jafar..." DEAD.