Taylor Tomlinson On Growing Up Religious & Abstinent | CONAN on TBS

[@clyde1255]

" I am a wild animal in bed, i am way more afraid of you than you are afraid of me." Oh man im dying

[@gavinoaw]

That was a really great line! xD xD

[@BelleFlower15]

Putting this on my next dating profile.

[@blueberry7899]

That one got me bad

[@Mushroom321-]

😂 genius!

[@_Odin_]

@@gavinoaw add that lip shade.. it's like… luring someone into a false sense of security.

[@beback_]

"Didn't need to lock the door. No one even jiggled the handle."

[@LorenaLatorre]

me af lol

[@tampamannings7155]

If I knew her In high school or just WHEN she was in high school you can bet your tight ass I would have jiggled the handle.....Pounded on the door. Gone around the other side of the house to try ALL doors leading into the home. Then I would have tried any window on the first or second story. If all else failed, I would have smashed a window with a rock or my fist.....Taylor YOU ARE SO FINE!

[@minmon5512]

@@tampamannings7155 gross

[@mistersydster]

@@tampamannings7155 that metaphor fell apart real quick

[@yivmaiden]

@@tampamannings7155 maybe because she was surrounded by jazz hands that didn't jiggle the door knob?

[@meiji4785]

"Trust no one, swipe left" is now my life motto

[@Uhhlaneuh]

Mr. Poopy Butthole I just started binging on Rick and Morty. That’s my favorite episode!

[@KillerFaceification]

You've got to forgive Beth, Mr. Poopy Butthole. Get better not bitter. Learn to trust again.

[@DavidSanchez-tf3xo]

You lie mr poopibutthole you have a son and a wife now ms poopibutthole will carve you a new name

[@themacocko6311]

Mr. Poopy Butthole Get better or get bitter.

[@MADDMOODY516]

Ur cute

[@Billie4Mozzarella]

"They missed a software update" "Don't bite the jazz hand that feeds you" she's so quotable, I love her.

[@reganwolf4405]

🤣😆👌🏼

[@TM-np5lq]

10 years of SHOW CHOIR. Condemning gays with fire and brimstone the WHOLE TIME, not knowing....But How...?

[@garysimons1608]

Such a brilliant line!

[@GaretheDen]

"Don't bite the jazz hand that feeds you." Great line.

[@bud-lee7106]

No.

[@韓国J]

you mean, so predictable?

[@lesleyreese237]

Her dad was my show choir teacher. LOL

[@mayarocksSOCKS12]

onespeed 😂😂😂😂😂

[@timothyfloogle]

needs to get tee shirts made of it.

[@Mitreme]

“If I missed my period, I was like ‘oh no. I am carrying the messiah.’” God that was 100% me as a virgin high schooler omg

[@Imsexysryurnot]

Me too!

[@Tortle4444]

Yeah, at one point my period was like, a day late and I was like...how did I get pregnant, and was freaking out as a 13 year old. Spoiler alert, was not pregnant, lol

[@Imsexysryurnot]

@@Tortle4444 when that happened I would always be afraid that I sat down on a toilet seat made dirty by a boy who didn't clean up [well], and it was anxiety until my period arrived. I got mine for the 1st time 7 days before my 13th BIRTHday.

[@kertrinafaucher4567]

me as a lesbian🤣

[@sophiesleeps12]

@Jo S. whaaat why

[@savlowery8106]

My parents names are Rhonda and Tim so that was a weird moment.

[@Weirder_the_better]

Sav Lowery They do what they can.

[@brittanyking4243]

Lmbo

[@mistersydster]

Oh good to know. And what was her maiden name and also the name of your favorite childhood pet?

[@savlowery8106]

@@mistersydster LOL good try 😂

[@jemiebridges3197]

Did you check for dents?

[@stumpingrimy1686]

"we did our best, YOU were slippery."

[@nahoo7748]

Like it was some how the babies fault?!! 😂😂

[@pcarebear1]

Pretty much sums up my parents about the dent on my forehead, "hey you were a terror until you were 5" Sure, okay...🤨

[@ThePerro]

'Someone missed a software update' hah she's good

[@mobspeak]

She had lots of good lines, thank god comedy isn't dead.

[@xtfoxhypocrisy7189]

mobspeak Comedy is on a comeback. Look at Netflix. Now Comedy Central has stand up again

[@bud-lee7106]

Religion is the only thing worse than Nazis. It is not in need of an update it should be fined and taxed like all other instituions that hold property rights and own entire companies that operate under tax emeption and control their interests making them always say REPUBGLICANS = GOOD DEMOCRATS = SATAN which aligned their propaganda perfectly with Russians. And got Trump elected. Think about that next time you go to pray and according to Pslams, when someone like you prays you can't access god people like you that deny the world around them and pretend evil is good are not allowed to contact god.

[@lainsloth]

THANK YOU I couldn't understand that line XD

[@eggarts9158]

I think of this quote every time my nana says something racist

[@jordansullivan5764]

I'm all, "OH NO. I'm carrying the MESIAH."

[@2013AMB]

Jordan Sullivan Messiah

[@fantasylover87]

That’s a mood.

[@ruthcrawford5897]

Jordan Sullivan that one got me

[@wittyblonde6728]

Allison Hanser Ikr...

[@Imsexysryurnot]

Yes. A greatest fear is born....

[@delaniefischer673]

Taylor continues to be one of the best comedians out there. She got a standing ovation on Conan and she got a standing ovation in my heart. KEEP DOIN' YOU.

[@bud-lee7106]

Not even close to a real comedian. There's tons of funny female comedians she is mundane at best. The upvotes on all these "shes good " comments just show the level of comedy knowledge in this comment section. What rock are you living under that this is anything but "meh"

[@bradleywhitaker2080]

As a longtime fan of comedy, I am blown away that you can't at least see the potential is there. I could hear so much influence from Daniel Tosh, in particular, but her style is reminiscent of so many recent greats imo.

[@xgullafter9590]

+Bradley Whitaker yeah, I've seen tons of comics and it's obvious that she's an amazing storyteller and incredibly funny, also charming at that. definitely, a lot of potential.

[@nickdailey9889]

She got an upvote here. It wasn’t my heart tho 😉

[@clarktownsend8991]

@@bud-lee7106 what's funny is the person who wrote this comment is a real working comedian lol

[@justgalactic7711]

*"They do what they can"* I love her delivery she's so good

[@sanko111]

"We did our best!"

[@jv-lk7bc]

you were slippery

[@MollyHousel]

"I told a lot of secrets to the wind."

[@JonasofPersia]

Molly Housel I broke wind in secret.

[@stereoroid]

It's OK to talk to the wind, but if the wind talks back ... we have a problem.

[@SmileFIN]

We.. we do? Ooh noo.. :/ but not like a big problem, right?

[@MrDinFla1]

Molly Housel didnt we all!

[@cupcakekamikaze6455]

"i'm a wild animal in bed..... ......more scared of YOU than you are of me"

[@jimjimmyjames59]

"Don't bite the jazz hand that feeds you!" I going to find a way to work that into conversation.

[@jimjimmyjames59]

6 months later and it's still brilliant!

[@reganwolf4405]

😆👌🏼

[@winsuma8253]

When people tell you what a good job you did in the school play but then make fun of you for talking loud and being “over the top”.

[@tangerin511]

Can someone please explain it

[@GilOsborne]

She needs a Netflix special.

[@iludari9274]

No

[@ShamW0Wzer]

Agreed. I've been trying to find some of her standup but keep coming across 2-5 minute clips. Would love to see more of her.

[@jamiewiesner7351]

Gilbert Osborne Yes I agree. She does need her own Netflix special.

[@themacocko6311]

Gilbert Osborne If Amy Schumer can do it, this girl is a shoo-in.

[@JohnathandosSantos]

Yeahhhh

[@Ramonerdna]

The wild animal in bed joke is one of the best I have heard in months

[@sciencecompliance235]

Ramonerdna Pretty clever bait and switch.

[@carlotta4th]

In a podcast with Conan she talked about how that's the joke that finally got her banned from the Christian Church shows. She had tweeted it and they canceled her gig.

[@cyrusmehrfar8478]

Taylor is incredibly funny. Really smart writing & even better delivery. Looking forward to seeing what she does in the future

[@ssppeellll]

"Really smart writing & even better delivery." You are certainly welcome to your opinion, but I could not disagree more. In fact, I have exactly the opposite opinion of her: Great delivery, even better writing.

[@andrewverrett568]

I think she has great writing material. Makes you think outside the box and sometimes you have no idea where its going until the end. Nice curve ball throws of humor. She's good. I'm a fan now.

[@peepeecummings]

@@ssppeellll you had me in the first half ngl

[@TheTenCentStory]

@@andrewverrett568 I thought it was pretty straight forward and predictable.

[@terroglacier981]

“Without homosexuality you would not have a job” is my senior quote now 😂

[@lerniezifyouadvertiseyouca548]

Don’t bite the jazz hand

[@oliviakalloor2668]

😂

[@krispy6796]

🙊

[@jv-lk7bc]

@@lerniezifyouadvertiseyouca548 ...that feeds you

[@apseudonym]

@@lerniezifyouadvertiseyouca548 her wordplay is so smooth

[@Em-fz6eb]

"it's just a stranger with your mom's knees" such an oddly accurate comment lol

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Been there, done that. 😬

[@jv-lk7bc]

universal. I blame our culture of silence + our bizarre romantic myths..

[@lesismore49]

Love how universal that scenario is. But instead of knees. Mine was a watermelon. I had been laying on the bottom of the cart holding the watermelon. Got out for some reason, went to go back to the cart and lay down, realized there was no watermelon, thought maybe it rolled away, looked around, no watermelon, finally looked up to see an older lady staring down at me. I immediately jumped up and went running, my dad wasn’t very far away, just laughing at me from the end of the isle.

[@sweetwish3708]

“These are my people, Ronda and Tim - they do what they can” - - Actually crying so hard rn 😂

[@jurrasicpig2426]

"those sparkly teens put food on our table. don't fight the jazz hand that feeds you"

[@elijahmendez4107]

I dont get that joke, how do them sparkly hands pay the rest of us?

[@henrytuttle]

It's "don't BITE the jazz hand..." Based on the saying about animals not "biting the hand that feeds them".

[@reganwolf4405]

😆👌🏼

[@jv-lk7bc]

@@elijahmendez4107 shes talking to her dad the homophobic the choir teacher.

[@sidv2327]

So glad i exist so homophobes can point me out and tell their kids to I'm going to hell 😂 without us LGBTQ yall would have no career

[@KP-zd3hc]

The story part is so true. One time I shared how my mom temporarily left me as a 4 year old at my grandparents’ house in another country and secretly took a plane back home. Laughed it off like it was nothing, but people around me had looks of horror on their faces.

[@dlo111]

😮

[@billding7073]

Taylor is a natural. She has insight, heart and a gleam in her eye. I really love her schtick.

[@tinkerkoko]

That "getting lost at the store" comparison was too real lol

[@TheLaughFactory]

We love you Taylor!

[@clemmettalan8250]

Not really though. There's infinitely better female comedians dead and alive. Gilda Radner, Joan Rivers, Judy Gold, Kathleen Madigan, Morgan Murphy, Maria Bamford, Natasha Legerro this isn't even on par with a basic comedy set

[@sheepboi1823]

Taylor is way better than all these women

[@gabrielsilvas7105]

Love the fact laugh factory showed her some dap

[@commontater8630]

@@clemmettalan8250 I smell troll. I doubt you have a sense of humor in spite of the list of women comedians you trotted out -- and why does the comparison have to be just with women??. Kathleen Madigan is not funnier than TT: both of them are very funny. They both have what I think all the best comedians have: a way of expressing a point of view with humor.

[@clemmettalan8250]

+Common Tater First; If I was a troll, why'd you tag and respond to me, haven't you ever heard "Don't feed the trolls" but alas I'll respond to your beyond stupid comment. Second; Good for you you kind;of know what an opinion is. 3.. Unfortunately for you yo don't understand OPINIONS ARE OPINIONS. THEY ARE SUBJECTIVE.... idiot.

[@eveyaspaas3667]

“Those sparkly teens put food on our table, don’t bite the jazz hand that feeds you!” Hahahahaha

[@MRogers117]

Taylor did a fantastic set! When I used to work for a comedian she was one of the other comedians we'd bring along for a weekend and she killed it every night. She's come even farther since i last saw her!

[@MRogers117]

and i didnt say there werent better female comedians. Taylor has the sense of humor that i like so i find her to be more funny than most other female comedians. I've watched a lot of comedians perform over the last 3 years and her full set/show has overall better jokes and comedic timing than a lot of other comedians.

[@darkblue6814]

How tragic that this woman has 10 times the talent of Amy Schumer and so few people know about her.

[@RedSntDK]

She's only 25 or so, she'll be big in her 30's, no doubt.

[@williejohnson3866]

RedSaint83 are you serious? She looks 35-40....

[@appetizingly]

Willie Johnson Lmao. No, she doesn't.

[@Sugefut]

That is a long 25.

[@Mack.Flurry3]

You must be hanging around vapid 25 year olds if she looks old to you

[@wasabiattack]

She's hilarious. "Haha we wore muzzles at night."

[@SusieNation]

wasabiattack “Why’d everyone get sad?”

[@williejohnson3866]

So funny hahahahahha not really...

[@anirudhjain7030]

Didn't understand the reference tried googling it , didn't get a direct answer

[@clawsoon]

@@anirudhjain7030 Both of her weird-child-rearing examples (tie up in the yard, wear muzzles at night) are references to things that are considered normal to do to dogs but abusive to do to children.

[@jv-lk7bc]

@@williejohnson3866 which makes its funnier somehow

[@creatorsremose]

The dating analogy was genius.

[@sharkbait3546]

I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this

[@RailsforTrails]

Definitely

[@art111g]

How come?

[@masterprocrastinator4449]

lemonscented why what were u expecting?

[@themacocko6311]

Artika Gunathdotdotdot Because 95% of female comedians are annoying as hell.

[@themacocko6311]

Master Procrastinator I was expecting your mom.

[@paleobc65]

"I think I only believe in god because I invested so much time into the idea, because if there's no god I told the wind alot of secrets" lmao she's brilliant

[@grahamstrouse1165]

Sunk Cost Fallacy, baby!

[@cjwoderstruck425]

"I'm carrying a Messiah" lol

[@mirabai305]

The jazz hands line was hilarious

[@DPK101710]

1) Taylor is hilarious. 2) This set has a HUGE tinge of sadness knowing that her mom passed when she was 8.

[@platystrophia]

Solid five minutes!

[@bud-lee7106]

Why do you Russian bots love her so much? Oh yeah, Russians love orthodox Christianity just like Hitler

[@AdrianColley]

With a great personality!

[@Creatably]

Saw Taylor last summer when she opened for Brian Regan and we were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. She is so funny. Great to see her on Conan.

[@e_b_]

"If there's no God then I told the wind a lot of secrets." Hahahah 😂😂😂😂

[@MockManor]

🤣The way she delivered that line was fantastic!

[@Kittymouth]

And the lingering uncomfortable look she has after saying it.... perfect!

[@brittahenke1180]

Oh that one got me too 😂😂😂

[@zakhrokoraboeva5139]

''Nobody got enough hugs. Hug yourself.'' - Taylor Tomlinson, 2017

[@guidethelight3707]

She's incredible. Really hope Netflix gives her a second hour.

[@Zmad724]

"DIDN'T NEED TO LOCK THE DOOR, NO-ONE EVEN JIGGLED THE HANDLE...." LOL

[@lordkitten23]

I was screaming in laughter, especially at her last joke. Damn she's good! Her delivery, pace, content, everything - really refreshing and so funny!

[@ALucas73]

"Walk it off" She has a habit of using sporting phrases in her stand-up. When talking about oral sex "Get back in there, and this time I wanna see some hustle, Anderson!".

[@acidrazor]

Why do we have to endure amy schumer and that other one when this gem of a comedian is walking around? Funniest ever. Lolled and rewatched. Wish i could double-like

[@emartinez7733]

AcidRaZor Who is that other one?

[@art111g]

Yo it's okay to have 'em both around. You don't have to drag one comedian under the bus to raise another one up.

[@bubblebubbleblip]

is there some sort of limit to how many female comedians we can have?

[@jdlgrishanne]

You know I feel like it's Amy Schumer's haters that keep her famous. You all can't shut up about her, but I bet if you did everyone else would forget she exists.

[@natsuki4021]

Amy schumer is moslt popular because of how many people hate her LOL

[@gwailotus9154]

"look up and realize its not your mom" ......ouch the pain of romantic relationship disillusion! what an incredible analogy

[@MrRubberchicken21]

"Don't bite the jazz hand that feeds you" hilarious

[@tangerin511]

I don't get it

[@nikgeo1993]

"I told the wind a lot of secrets." Actually I think this line is quite poetic. :)

[@laurent1144]

Disney's Pocahontas has entered the chat

[@INTERNATIONALvids]

Its also the literal definition of "praying" to gods who aren't there. Religion.

[@LadyHashZ]

"I told a lot of secrets to the wind" Loool!!!

[@MaddisonintheSky]

I starting dying when she compared herself to a frightened animal in bed she killed it

[@stephen_sezs]

That software bit lolllll. Gotta say her live now. Fan

[@flopy0coldmi]

"Way more afraid of you than you are of me" loved her!!!

[@JuiceboxCallaghan]

One of my absolute favorite comedians!

[@vxCece15xv]

"I miss my time of the month and I'm carrying the MESSIAH! " Me: Same idk a y carpenter's either 🤣😭 she so quotable!

[@vascodegama5829]

Sooo true!

[@frezerh]

Congratulations on your new hosting gig on After Midnight on CBS !!!!!!

[@DamianReloaded]

She's good! ^_^

[@GorgonDrageil]

*(whispering:)* I like you're profile pic ...👌😂

[@papillonvu]

“In bed I am a wild animal... way more afraid of you than you are of me!” 😂😂

[@jcme709]

That was very good! The ending was great! Coming from someone who pretty much hates every comic that isn't Bill Burr.

[@mariamarson5158]

Try Louis ck

[@sahilvig22]

Hahahha yeah, Bill Burr has set the standards really high 🔥

[@henrylucate1845]

So u hate Dave chapelle too

[@chappellroanplsgotomanilaibeg]

Sahil Vig bbmmkikujyuysjiu

[@MPozitiv]

And Patrice O`neal

[@heydiddlediddlethecatandth5251]

As an a girl raised in the evangelical community, the missing my period and immediately wondering if it was the Messiah in the throes of my pain is just too damn relatable.

[@-seth]

“You think you know a guy, turns out it’s just a stranger with your mom’s knees.” Words to live by.

[@brittanylegg6410]

That was amazing. Thank you for this clip!

[@fidorover]

Brilliant!

[@plompyy]

I like your picture

[@rose4490]

@@plompyy me too!

[@rucjos]

Strongest comedy bit I've seen in a span of 5 minutes

[@karliebellatrixyoung6359]

1:48 Taylor just gave the best explanation/confession I've ever heard about how the "sunk cost fallacy" applies to religion, politics, and bigotry.

[@apseudonym]

me watching game of thrones

[@alastairhewitt380]

2:47 Her timing & ability to read a crowd is fantastic.

[@tactlessbeast6737]

“Trust no one! Swipe left!” Wiser words have never been spoken. 😂

[@MalloryNewcomb]

She had me at “That’s how we should introduce them: these are my people Rhonda and Tim! They do what they can.” 😂

[@cornonthecobbob5617]

“Looks like somebody missed a software update” 😂

[@brunavalverde2804]

She’s fantastic lol, How can she fit so many iconic one liners into 5 minutes

[@Unicat9]

It's great to see a female comedian that is funny and gets the support she deserves. I wish she was more popular. She really delivers

[@jackmaehoph4822]

"Trust no one! Swipe left!" - Me at the bible study class my grandparents made me go to when I was little.

[@thefifthbelfry92]

She's good

[@bud-lee7106]

Not really

[@abbiefunk2000]

I love her stage presence!! She's goin places x3

[@everycoLor_312]

"Don't bite the jazzhand that feeds you"

[@herbtube30]

Somebody give this woman a Netflix special!

[@Celine1Love]

I dont know whats more annoying. Those guys saying women aren't funny or those guys saying they were surprised that she was funny. Like just accept that there are funny and successful female comedians it's not that deep.

[@redleopardkd8609]

Really ur pulling the sexism card it's was good no need to cry about it of course there is some funny women comedians but she's not one of them!!!

[@Celine1Love]

Really though? I think people just wanna assume that woman aren't funny and don't give it a chance. There a lot of female comedians that are equally successful as many male comedians. Are there more male successful comedians? Yes. But that's because the industry is growing! Just like in one point of time there used to be only male doctors, only male musicians, only male leaders... Doesn't mean they are better at it.

[@TheBigYC]

First of all I really like this video and I'll google more about this comedian but I have to disagree here, I like some male comedians, other I don't enjoy but still can accept how smart they are. A lot of kwnow/half known female comedians makes comedy by trying to be edgy, their whole set is "yep, I'm a woman and just said that word". There are a couple that do their work but I believe that if we compare by "fame level" some female comedians can't compare on material to a similar fame leveled male comedian.

[@nirbhaysharma1214]

You're right, it is rather annoying that some guys are surprised that she was funny but I think those kind of guys point towards a changing climate maybe where men's views are changing and they're more open to changes that the other guys still aren't even willing to consider. Sure, they're coming from an ignorant point of view, of course women can be just as funny, but i saw "surprised to enjoy it" as a sign of maybe these guys coming out of that toxic ignorance. + many people, guys and girls, like me maybe don't try new comedians that often. I like what I like and unless I know im going to enjoy the bit, i don't bother investing time in new comedy. I know, it's not the best way to go out there and explore stuff, but it's what i do. Still, I was very pleasantly surprised to find my time to have been well invested and this performance just made me want to go check out more of her work. Hope i didn't come across as explaining something obvious, I just wanted to maybe defend those who aren't completely toxic and still have a chance to be rehabilated

[@Celine1Love]

Nirbhay Sharma that I can understand! Thanks for your input :)

[@minleona4204]

Bro the first part of the finding mom story got me crying and the last sentence got me crying harder😂😂😂

[@amurizon]

"Someone missed a software update" 😂 So good. Really enjoy her delivery style, very down to earth approach.

[@zoei.s.4782]

Why am I only now finding this lady? She's great!

[@tomkirk3252]

“Don’t bite the jazz hand that feeds you” I’m choking, absolutely dying

[@SySoBa]

Damn she really fired a bunch of jokes in quick succession. Good stuff. I loved the “i told a lot of secrets to the wind” line.

[@piercekafka]

I like her

[@feardrinker]

2:42 I had forgot about the 'animal in bed joke' 🤣🤣 damn I like that one

[@justianlouis753]

She is just awesome! Smart and funny all at once. She's the whole package. Loved it!

[@vorndran71]

lmfaoooo I was a virgin all throughout high school as well and I can't tell you how many times me and my friends have had that exact conversation at 3:14 to 3:22

[@Bogdan-nb5qc]

Haha virgin girl

[@julioarcaiko]

Wow she's is good! Lots of stage presence and very confident delivery 📦

[@wasabiattack]

Taylor, do more shows!! Your delivery is top notch!

[@NickLaparra]

Go, Taylor! So good.

[@corneliusawosola8461]

Wow, she's really funny..I dig it...and I need more.

[@justinsullivan5839]

She needs a Netflix special immediately.

[@deisycervantes9092]

She got one!!

[@blessing291]

i am dead with her "and then you looked up and it wasn't ur mom" 😂😂😂😂

[@destinydm7706]

"Didn't need to lock the door, no one even jiggled the handle." Me! I'm 22 now and still being abstinent. 😂

[@RespectYourViews]

here's my attempt to explain being in love to 4 yr old: Its like Christmas Eve and all you can think about is all the presents you're gonna get tomorrow, and then you remember that you only get presents if you've been a good kid, and you start to wonder if you've been good enough or if you're just getting coal this year. And you don't want to get coal, you still haven't figured out what to do with the coal you got last year.

[@hiitsme6639]

This was a solid segment from start to finish. I hope this lady gets much more time in front of a camera

[@littlefurnace]

Don't bite the jazz hand that feeds you is such a perfect line 😂

[@Lun4Om1n3]

The only problem with that is that it was way too short. This girl is great!

[@amore9003]

Being in love feels like laying in a pile of fuzzy blankets that just got out of the dryer and are still warm. There ya go. That is love for ya.

[@AvidLearner11]

"And then you look up, and it wasn't your mom."

[@NathanUttley]

Her timing and tone is so on point!

[@jazzyg6059]

To be fair, growing up is a pretty good time to be 'abstinent'