Couple Can't Cope with Son's Hostile Behaviour | New Amsterdam

Couple Can't Cope with Son's Hostile Behaviour | New Amsterdam | MD TV

Рет қаралды 45,133

2 ай бұрын

A therapist counsels two stressed out parents about their child diagnosed with ODD.
From New Amsterdam Season 3, Episode 12, "Things Fall Apart": A burst pipe plunges the ED into chaos. Iggy counsels two stressed out parents about their child. Gwen and Calvin have some devastating news for Max.
New Amsterdam (2018) After becoming the medical director of one of the United States's oldest public hospitals, Dr Max Godwin sets out to reform the institution's neglected and outdated facilities to treat the patients.
Watch all seasons of New Amsterdam: www.justwatch.com/uk/tv-serie...
Welcome to MD TV! A channel dedicated to your favourite medical dramas! Featuring iconic moments from House M.D., Chicago Med and more. Follow the professional and personal lives of the hospital staff, as you go a journey right from the very first doctor's call to the E.R and beyond. MD TV is packed full of drama, intrigue, and plenty of medical emergencies!
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Пікірлер: 65

@LyingTube 2 ай бұрын

Negative responses are a perfectly reasonable reaction to negative experiences. And no amount of social or cultural shaming ("it's wrong to hate your kids" etc) is going to change that.

@ebayrose 2 ай бұрын

Because there's a difference from trying to stay positive and repainting reality.

@XSilver_WaterX 2 ай бұрын

people need to vent once in a while in their lives. trying to bottle that is so backwards, you're practically ACCEPTING your demise! have fun walking home with broken glass in your guts from a drunk former worker you laid off because of...profits???

@meggrotte4760 2 ай бұрын

I think the problem is that he might be angry because he has two moms

@Somerandomdude-ev2uh 2 ай бұрын

@@meggrotte4760 there is absolutely no evidence, data or correlation to support that.

@meggrotte4760 2 ай бұрын

Think about it kids that are adopted. Before they're adopted, you asked them.What would you like?They would say a mom and a dad No kid would ever say yeah I want two moms or I want two dads

@kiarimarie 2 ай бұрын

Watching my parents with my brother's violent outbursts and having to endure sibling abuse, it got added to the list of reasons I don't want to be a parent. I can't handle yelling or violence, and might respond in kind, making the issue 100x worse.

@mar-k7104 2 ай бұрын

It’s very smart and kind of you to acknowledge this in yourself. Many people feel entitled to having children and treating them however. Some people just aren’t meant to be parents and it should be taken the same as saying some people aren’t cut out to be olympians, as long as you haven’t hurt anyone it’s just a neutral fact, people are different and fill different niches in society.

@jayleighbear 2 ай бұрын

as someone getting their masters in counseling that is 100% the correct choice to make. i have severe adhd and i know for a fact i couldn’t deal with a kid who is like i was on a daily basis. im waiting for the day where i could deal with the worst of the worst bc that’s what becoming a parent really is. you shouldn’t have kids if you’re not prepared for the absolute worst kind of kid even if that’s not what you end up having bc it’s not the parents fault they feel frustrated, but the way i was raised traumatized me in a lot of ways and i don’t hate my mom but i really wish she hadn’t had me and spared us both the heartache we went through when i was growing up.

@starlingswallow 2 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry for what you went through 😢

@Vromanmattie12 2 ай бұрын

My sisters is disrespectful to my mom and says horrible things and I can see from this video that it hurts parents more and I can tell my mom is really getting affected

@kaylaports4449 2 ай бұрын

I was misdiagnosed with this at 7 years old. At 18 I received the true diagnosis of autism. This is a common misdiagnosis of autism it’s rare that kids truly have O.D.D.

@queentargaryen9389 2 ай бұрын

I was misdiagnosed as well. My son does have that and autism and adhd. But I am adopting him from a very abusive situation, but it does get better, he is a good sweet boy. And he is doing better everyday.

@mg7043 2 ай бұрын

Same here except I was diagnosed with anxiety and ODD at 9, that changed to bipolar when I was 14, and then finally adhd at age 24 😅 The bipolar is there, but every “behavioral issue” outside of those mood states that was labeled as ODD was just the adhd (and a touch of “tism” though I have yet to receive an official diagnosis). I personally hate ODD as a diagnosis. The DSM criteria for it can often be better explained and thus better treated by other diagnoses (like adhd, autism, and/or some sort of trauma). I don’t see why adding an additional label is at all necessary or helpful when treating the underlying cause is what’s actually important. In fact, the name “oppositional defiant disorder” itself has such a negative connotation that seems truly awful to place on a child…

@kaylaports4449 2 ай бұрын

@@mg7043 O.D.D. Is because they typically cannot diagnose anti social personality disorder in children

@ash3227 2 ай бұрын

My ex was diagnosed with ODD as a child but after knowing him for many years, I am sure he has antisocial personality disorder. I don’t say that because I have a grudge against him, but he is actually a very dangerous person and the scary part is, you’d never know it unless you knew him really well.

@mg7043 2 ай бұрын

@@kaylaports4449for some kids that’s true! But the diagnosis is far too often used for kids who are “acting out” and having outbursts without even looking into what might be causing them. The way a child with true antisocial personality disorder that gets diagnosed when they reach adulthood presents is quite different. For example, the absence of appropriate remorse is a huge part of it. Kids like myself (I have heightened empathy and always felt awful after outbursts) are far too often diagnosed with ODD based on the outbursts alone

@arnavmekala4578 2 ай бұрын

This was one of the hardest scenes to watch in the show because deep down these thoughts are true and we live in a society where people will dismiss and cancel you for having these "bad thoughts". No wonder being a parent is tough because everyday you are judged on whether you are giving your kid unconditional love 100% of the time and whenever your kids start exhibiting bad behavior, the first people that get blamed are the parents.

@Kai81194 2 ай бұрын

I was misdiagnosed with ODD as a teenager. Turns out it was autism, bipolar, adhd, and eventually cptsd.

@charlescraft5582 2 ай бұрын

The emotion of hate is a brain function.

@DeluxeMoviesBusiness 2 ай бұрын

Those are bad parents for hating their kids, no action made by their kids makes it okay in any way to hate them. Parents’ emotions don’t matter, they should love their kids no matter what horrible behavior they show.

@ShadeKoopa 2 ай бұрын

@@DeluxeMoviesBusinessThere are no rules that say parents can't hate their kids. Humans have free will. They are allowed to hate their kids. Hate is a natural emotion for humans to feel. Denying that emotion isn't helping anyone. Unrequited "love" is an illusion, not reality.

@Not_Mady_ 9 күн бұрын

@DeluxeMoviesBusiness I'm sorry, but that just sounds really dumb. Parents are human they are allowed to have a natural reaction to terrible behavior. Of course, it's not the kids' fault for having the disorder, but parents shouldn't feel forced act like everything is ok when it's not.

@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 Ай бұрын

Let’s all applaud Iggy for listening and changing his approach.

@MaddysinLeigh 2 ай бұрын

As someone with ODD, it’s nice to see someone discussing it.

@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr 2 ай бұрын

Woah, calm down there

@MaddysinLeigh 2 ай бұрын

@@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr I am calm…?

@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr 2 ай бұрын

@@MaddysinLeigh Seriously, please relax and stop being so defiant. You're scaring me

@TRKJSR 2 ай бұрын

Can you please lower your voice

@overthinker5877 Ай бұрын

U two, leave that person alone, their just trying to point their view on this video and u guys are making a joke out of this.

@starlingswallow 2 ай бұрын

This is the first scene from this show clips that have me crying. It's so important to be honest. Stuffing our true feelings is incredibly destructive....

@ReplicantDeviancy 2 ай бұрын

I was misdiagnosed with ODD as a child, as well as ADHD. The reality? I was being abused by other students in my elementary school. I lived in a small town, so the abuse went on into middle school, and it didn't stop until I moved away, but the damage was already done. I was hunted for sport by my bullies, who made me feel unsafe every day. And no one would listen. Now I have ASPD and a boatload of trauma. Or maybe the abuse just exacerbated what was already there, because I've never had real empathy for human beings. Maybe my upbringing taught me that I was justified in my actions and beliefs now.

@victoriagrove3250 2 ай бұрын

Ugh...I empathize. Find some kind people to be around and start healing yourself. I went through something similar within schools and my parents. There are kind people out there.

@QUANTUMJOKER 14 күн бұрын

You often hear that you're not obligated to love your parents - if your parents are neglectful, abusive or cruel, you don't owe them your love just because they're family - but does this apply to your children too? If your child is willfully cruel - they know they're causing you pain or distress and enjoy it, or they don't care about you at all in the chaos they cause - I don't blame you for not loving them.

@farinshore8900 2 ай бұрын

Self defense is also an exagerated response to a percieved threat.

@Mimi-cq4bg 2 ай бұрын

The one mom needs to get a grip. I know a mom who is like this- it’s always low blood sugar or a food sensitivity or whatever excuse is convenient. Her kid is not ODD, just a kid with no boundaries. A kid with nobody who tells him no. Kids need stability. They push until they find resistance. If they don’t find a boundary, if they don’t find resistance, they don’t have any sense of stability.

@YeshuaKingMessiah 2 ай бұрын

I’m surprised ur comment is still here ODD doesn’t exist

@geocross237 2 ай бұрын

I love my parents but sometimes I wished they were different and not “tiger parents.”

@TheLongjohntim Ай бұрын

The comment about positivity being toxic hit home! There's a woman at church who is so positive that for me it's toxic. For me she comes across as, you've got a problem and I need to fix it by being positive you have no right to be sad depressed angry. Lady I grew up dealing with a lot of negative stuff I survived it by being the way I am and at 58 going on 59 I'm not going to change so accept me as I am or just walk away!

@clareeade8933 4 күн бұрын

❤

@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 Ай бұрын

Classic case of toxic positivity.

@AndrewBarsky 2 ай бұрын

Gotta say that this psychologist has PLENTY of free time to have group therapy for every conceivable vulnerable group, all while working in the ER and seeing private patients? Either there are more than twenty four hours in a day or the show could use an additional shrink for the sake of continuity. 🤷

@amandasnider2644 2 ай бұрын

Is the message here for parents of children with ODD that parents should meet the behavior or moods of the children even if it's rude or aggressive (which I doubt is wise), to never outwardly show happiness and positivity (which also seems off) or is it simply saying that it's toxic to fake being positive and happy? I'm genuinely confused what parents should be doing. I understand that toxic or fake positivity is bad and off-putting especially for kids with ODD but any child would be negatively affected if they could sense how run down and depressed their parents are, especially if they are smart enough to recognize that they are the source. Hiding depression and stress from your children surely must be better for the mental wellbeing of their children then allowing them to see it right? But all that effort will hurt the parent's wellbeing. It just kinda spirals and spirals with the cause and effect. Sometimes depression and stress is therapy and treatment resistant and it's much harder to fix if the cause cannot be fixed. Parenthood is sacrifice but sometimes you have to consider at what cost.

@dorcasmalahlela2805 2 ай бұрын

I think the answer is there is no right or wrong response. There is no manual for how to deal with a child like this. Almost like grief. You feeling things isn't right or wrong. You can be happy that someone is dead, maybe because they hurt you a lot, or they were suffering and now that pain is over. We are not evil for feeling (or not feeling) things we're not 'supposed to' - and we have to figure out how to live with this so we LIVE ON.

@jazzycat8917 Ай бұрын

There's no one single message because there's no one single solution. ODD patients are not a hivemind, every case needs to be addressed differently.

@saradapagediocletian9707 2 ай бұрын

Many childhood ODD diagnoses evolve into ASPD diagnoses in adults. In other words some kids really are just bad.

@Bl00Buttons 2 ай бұрын

Even people with ASPD aren't necessarily "bad." It is a mental disorder and there are many people with the disorder who were fortunate enough to get just the right help as kids and as adults do not go around horrifically abusing people.

@saradapagediocletian9707 2 ай бұрын

@@Bl00Buttons so factually what you are stating is wrong. It's very uncommon, even with childhood intervention, for people with ASPD to develop empathy and the like. More often than not these folks are just bad as I stated and cannot be recovered through any means yet known to medicine.

@Kai81194 2 ай бұрын

@@saradapagediocletian9707bro, what they were saying is that out of the low statistics of people that have it, many of them go on to be successful members of society that don't commit violent acts. Not that they're cured or that it is a common condition.

@jameson1239 2 ай бұрын

@@saradapagediocletian9707he’s not stating they develop empathy he’s saying that with help they don’t become abusive or bad in any way they just sort of exist

@Bl00Buttons 2 ай бұрын

@@Kai81194 & @saradapagediocletian9707 Thank you for backing me up here. I hate when people misrepresent what I say. Indeed, I never mentioned anything about developing empathy. I stated that with the appropriate resources and therapies, children who show early signs of antisocial personality disorder can often be, in a sense, "rehabilitated," in order to function in our society, not cured or taught empathy. To state that a child is "born bad" is a horrible thing to say, and a self-fulfilling prophecy.