How Having a Baby REALLY Changes Your Marriage | Marriage After Baby Q&A

[@rileypatles4107]

I'm sitting here in my one month olds nursery, rocking him to sleep for a nap. Feeling extremely overwhelmed and stressed and this video has made me feel so good and I relate to your experience so much. I am hopeful things will get easier as time goes on. Thank you for sharing your truths with us.

[@MeganAcuna]

It does get SO much easier! And you'll start sleeping again eventually which helps a ton. Hang in there!

[@jodiemortag5710]

Hang in there, gal.

[@44nl95]

And here you are mama! One year later!

[@alairvega7684]

I’m watching this when she’s announced her second pregnancy! Your heart will grow!

[@tiffanyhahn838]

Loved your husbands explanation of how much he loves Rowen. I only have one kid so far but I also have a sister and the best gift my parents ever gave me was her. Having someone to grow up and make memories with is something I never take for granted!

[@MeganAcuna]

That's really sweet!

[@MariaandMontessori]

So happy to see more couples talking about this! Marriage and relationships change so much after baby but if you go into it its proper expectations and open communication, it can be such a beautiful change! 😍

[@MeganAcuna]

YES I love this perspective!!!

[@olesiyamironova7571]

I like how honest you are about the struggles of parenting. I can completely relate to the splitting of responsibilities when it comes to raising a child. Even a small solo trip to a store helps with "me" time.

[@MeganAcuna]

And that me time is so important!

[@elizabethcronsell9301]

Breastfeeding absolutely makes you feel so responsible for most of their care. My husband and I also had difficulty finding that balance. We still do! My daughter still wakes up and nurses at night. Its a tough thing that isn't talked about a lot. You guys are so sweet to listen to and your husband is clearly a lot more thoughtful and intentional about his actions and his role in the family than most! Really enjoyed this conversation!!

[@lacieroberts1644]

My daughter just turned a month old. I’m watching this as she nurses trying to hold my eyes open. This is so helpful, thank you so much.

[@nurse2226]

I love love this video! I am almost 7 months pregnant and I feel like I hear so much negativity about postpartum and become parents (or maybe that's just what I tend to focus on), and I know it can be really hard and you can easily focus on that but I loved hearing how you guys are handling it. Such practical advice. You guys are amazing and so cute together!

[@SG0779]

One thing I will recommend to any fellow new moms, don’t live your life on the nap timer too much. I was and am very diligent about sleep for my daughter. However, lately (8 months) I have learned that a late nap here or there will not hurt us. (Once you’re out of the newborn phase. I do not recommend overtired newborns!! 😂). Go get your coffee. Don’t rush your visit. The more you do it here and there, the easier it will get. It’s hard the first few time. It might make you feel anxious, but it is worth it to continue doing life as a person and a mom. Obviously don’t do this for every nap every day, but once in a while is okay!

[@amynanocchio5808]

My children are older now and I can still relate with the struggle. Your vlog is refreshing and honest and the two of you are adorable!

[@Teenywing]

I’m a stay at home mom of 5. My amazing husband has a pharmacy so he is at work 6 days a week from 8am to 6:30pm. I have no help, no family and it’s all me. I have one autistic kid, one home schooling, one is baby who doesn’t sleep at night. It’s amazing what we can do as moms. No one understands unless they’ve been there. It’s a lot♥️♥️♥️

[@jameskermit7993]

I just got the News that I am gonna be a Dad next year. I am scared. But my Wife and me are the best Team. Allways were. Your video helped me. This will work out just fine

[@ruthalaina4837]

Megan, your channel is so inspirational! I found your channel about three months ago and I love it your kind positive and full of energy. Rowan is getting so big and cute and fun, I love watching him learn and try new things! You’ve helped me think positive on everything 🙌🏻 ily

[@MeganAcuna]

This comment made me smile! Thank you so much for being here 💛

[@samcobb1353]

Early on, it's super easy to "keep score" if your partner works full time or is away from the home for long periods of time. It's really cool to experience the switch flip when you realize your partner misses you and the baby the whole time they are gone.

[@MeganAcuna]

Yes, absolutely! I sometimes forget that he's not just going out for fun haha!

[@samcobb1353]

@@MeganAcuna I have a 13 month old girl (and a boy due in 3 weeks) and I still have to remind myself sometimes when my husband is gone that he would rather be home with us girls than working. It helps me to remember that if he had a choice, he would rather be with us. It takes all the heat out of how I might be feeling at any given moment.

[@simplylovedwell]

This is so relatable. We're all a rough draft and learning as we go. Kuddos to you guys for sharing. Thank you

[@marissahinson8790]

I loved this video so much! My husband and I can relate to this, as we have a three month old daughter. I've been following you for over a year now and I think this is my favorite video ❤

[@MeganAcuna]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm glad it made you feel seen 💛

[@heyanu]

I love watching your Day in the life for when I feel the need to feel motivated with my 1 year old I loved this video because I felt I was not alone with feeling the struggles of parenting. Need so much more of this too!

[@mamallamat6036]

I really appreciated hearing what you guys have to say. 🙌🏻

[@annajenson4050]

I’m not a parent but I relate to so much of this! Especially the “he’s tired” “are you mad at me!?” 😅

[@MarilennyPina]

This video was awesome thank you both for opening up so much about everything! Know that these videos really help us moms out alot, the ending was so raw and cute haha! Blessings💕

[@Coast2Coast88]

You guys have a nice energy that comes off the screen. It’s a really comfortable energy that I don’t see with most youtubers. You can just tell that you have a sincere and deep love and you actually enjoy sharing your parental wisdom with us! Thanks for this video and being honest about all the changes from both sides! I can tell you, once Rowan is in school, you will get a lot of your time back. I have 5 kids and with each one my husband and i’s time became less and less and less! It’s very difficult but rewarding and once they go to school, so much time frees up. We are in California and It’s my only job to stay home with them (which you don’t see too many stay at home moms here) but it works for us! You two are doing a great job and you’ll find your happy medium and know when the time is right to have more kids or just decide on one and enjoy the stages of life that are coming because it does get a lot easier as they grow! Be open to it all, you never know where life leads :) I hope you guys come back to Orange County! We just went to Disneyland. You should take Rowan! My just turned 2 year old loved it and my husband and I did the ride switch, so we could ride the new Star Wars ride. My husband is a geek, so he LOVED the Star Wars land!

[@courtnymcfarland]

Of course, I’m watching this while Alexander is down for the night. I’m missing him already. 🥰😅

[@amyleonard2003]

I love your video content. But I think this may be my favorite video you’ve done.

[@MeganAcuna]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!!

[@Victfriesen]

I really, really loved this video!! You guys are such an amazing couple! ❤️

[@kelseymena1844]

You guys are so cute and this kind of content is so good to know I’m normal! Matt is awesome. You two are so cute!

[@kaytlebedevarus]

You guys are my favorite couple on KZbin! 🥰

[@popchinesemusic2023]

Take a breath, relax, that was just a bad day, not bad life. You can sleep now." -Another Yourself, . Stay connected😜😀😍😘

[@mael2039]

I think the school thing will be a lot of time yet to think about it. I can't tell you anything about American school but I went to a Helly Expensive private embassy school as a young kid because of necessity and then I went to public schools for the rest of my education and it's been amazing. I honestly think that our education system where I live (German speaking part of Italy and went to German schools there - there's a big difference) is pretty damn good and I'd definitely send my kiddos there if I still live there. Also I love your honestly and openness about what you're thinking about a second baby and also the walks and space versus emotional engagement

[@MeganAcuna]

I think there are some public schools that are amazing and some that are sadly underfunded and without the support they need. It really depends on where you are but public school can be awesome, just as I'm sure private can be too!

[@paxtonrienbolt8112]

I loved your comment about being a family unit and getting to do “family activities”. I live in a small town in rural Kansas and we always have fun events going on. Specifically free and low cost events. But so many of them are geared toward kids. And if you don’t have a kid it would be strange to go. I remember when I moved here without a spouse or a child I felt so isolated. Now I feel so connected because of those activities. I wish that communities and our culture as a whole provided more social activities to engage with others as adults (single or married) who do not have children.

[@pacegirl611]

Great video! Love have honest u guys were w answering. Very relatable on a lot of stuff. 😊

[@josiestyers5784]

I still do absolutely everything with my daughter at 15 months old. Feed, bath, change. All of it. My husband gets the fun play time

[@josiestyers5784]

I feel that so much. My husband works from 6a to like 8p he comes home and is on the phone and computer all evening. I’m a stay at home mom so she is what I do. But he doesn’t understand how much work she is

[@katherineveloza1466]

Love this video so much! So many things that are similar if not the same for my husband and I and our 14mo old baby girl ❤. I love your channel!

[@tayshavargas4547]

I am at stay at home mom ( no working) of a 3 year old and a 13 month old. I have no help beside my husband coming from work at 6:00 pm. I take my daughter two days to preschool and that’s a big help! But is very overwhelming & I struggle with anxiety.

[@MeganAcuna]

I struggle with anxiety too and I totally feel you. Being a SAHM is a full time job (and then some!) Hope you get a few quiet moments to yourself today, mama 💛

[@kaitlynsampson7309]

Wow, did I need to hear all this... I had no idea how bad things would get sometimes...i feel like i have no privacy at all. I enjoy my little breaks but sometimes it dont seem like enough! My one year old is sleeping with us because she refuses to sleep in her crib. She hates it.

[@anacordell6275]

it’s nice to see the perspective of a couple who is leaning towards one child. it’s always been a foreign concept to me!

[@Sandra-iw3wz]

I was super tired holding my almost 5 month old in my arms about 9 pm last night and I was just so tired I did not want to hear my husband talk 🤣 like nope, I don’t wanna hear anything more about Diablo and your Barbarian. Hahaha poor guy and I apologized later that I was exhausted ugh.

[@evelitman683]

Regarding what you said about needing more sleep than Matt, apparently women on average need about an hour more sleep than men! In my own life this is so accurate.

[@katiedial2334]

We have a 6 month old and I still find myself trying to take on everything. I sometimes have to stop and let dad take over or go parent bc I’ll get overwhelmed & then I start to get pissy with my husband for not helping. It’s hard being the mom and sole provider for the baby (breastfeeding) and not just take on every task for the LO. Thankfully now that our LO is older dad can take over more. It’s allllll a learning process!

[@MeganAcuna]

YES I totally relate to this! We need support but it's also hard to give up the control haha!

[@mael2039]

about "he's in the room, I can't be sensual/intimate" I used to already feel that way about my dogs. I always be like, "no, the babies are here!" and yes that continued with my human babies

[@MeganAcuna]

Hahaha so funny!

[@mandiexo]

Me and my boyfriend are so similar to you two! I always like to engage and I think he’s mad at me if he’s not, but he just needs space that’s just his personality! So it’s a balance which is easier said then done lol

[@gabrielasunrise3295]

It's so interesting how people are so different. I didn't feel like putting a ban on my milky factory after a while but my partner was purpously avoiding the area during the breastfeeding period. And that journey took well over a year. However, I didn't want him anywhere near them while I was pregnant cause they were so tender.

[@nataywebb]

Thanks for talking about these things!

[@sarahcaring4078]

This was so cute 🥰

[@Kendall--]

Hey there! I'm new to your channel! I'm currently trying to conceive but I just love your videos and your vibes! I'm currently lookin back at your old videos lol

[@daynawaters8706]

Ugh! The comment about breastfeeding and I Intimacy with your breast 💯 feel the same! I hate it when my husband wants to get handsy because they already get handled and sucked on all day 😆 feel ya girl

[@lindahajek5859]

You are right about that you need to say I need help!

[@oliviacartwright4869]

You guys are such a cute couple 💕 interesting topics

[@MeganAcuna]

Thank you so much!

[@mouseluva]

You guys are the cutest

[@Clxis88]

Omg y’all are so sweet with each other I loved the intimacy discussion 💕💕

[@SassyWinterFox]

I get severely Hangry. My partner just accepts it. He knows I love him and I try my best to be aware when I'm being unreasonable and apologise for it. Most of the time my partner says I wasn't as bad as I thought I was.

[@mael2039]

I had to learn how to ask for help, too, but out of a slightly different way point. when I was young my dad worked like 60+ hours in a different city and it was crazy and my mum stayed home full time for like eight years but looking back, my dad did so much. My dad would work a whole night shift 8 to 8 and he came home and cleaned the entire house and he'd play and go on outings and teach us stuff and thinking back I'm like, I really don't remember him being there less for us than my mum, which is crazy. I literally don't even know how he did it, I think that man didn't sleep for years lol. I know that my mum did a lot more in the house while he worked (now it's kinda the opposite) tho but he would step up when he came home always. I remember one time my grandma told my mum that she had to thank my dad for cleaning or something and my mum went off she was like why do I need to thank him for doing his own household, in the house that he lives in ?? and I was young and I was like oh yea. So what I really struggled with in my relationship at the begining is that I took for granted that he'd do his part without me having to ask, and it would make me angry that I had to ask for help, like, I was angry that he couldn't see it on his own? And this poor man any time I'd tell him that I needed help with something he'd always do it gladly but I was just expecting him to see it on his own, and like, obviously that wasn't happening because otherwise he would have done these things. So yea I really had to learn to put my head down and realise that it was unfair to assume he'd realise anything I wanted to have done or needed help with.

[@MeganAcuna]

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! It's always good to communicate your expectations but also remember that the burden of coordinating the division of labor shouldn't always fall on you! Carrying the "emotional load" can be a lot to handle!

[@kalimarkram6052]

Love you guys!!! 😍

[@MeganAcuna]

We love YOU guys!

[@Sandra-iw3wz]

I’m the same way about my boobs too due to breastfeeding! 🤣

[@malaysiaaunyia]

Honestly I feel this our baby is only 2 weeks old but my husband and I have already had two disagreements on ear piercing and nail polish

[@MeganAcuna]

Interested to hear what your POV is on this!

[@malaysiaaunyia]

@@MeganAcuna I personally felt that we should wait to get her ears pierced until she is old enough to choose it herself and I believe she should be allowed to wear nail polish when old enough he wants to pierce her ears at 6months and not to allow nail polish

[@MeganAcuna]

@@malaysiaaunyia I’m totally with you mama! I hope you guys see eye to eye on whichever decision you make!

[@malaysiaaunyia]

@@mjey1 lol right. But because he is from Africa he says it is his culture that girls get their ears pierced while babies just because their girls

[@jenniferstuart1228]

Love this video! 😍 If this isn’t me and my hubby to a T! Except the intimacy part….neither of us are ever in the mood. Not sure if I should just let it go and eventually we will come back to it or do something about it now. I wonder if other couples are in the same boat as us. Sometimes I feel so lonely in this.

[@alauramouw4830]

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 12. The craving intimacy thing kinda disappeared for us a year after marriage. But it’s not because of something being wrong in our relationship! We’d just rather spend our time doing other things like going out for a beer or going hiking. We still snuggle in for movie nights and things, but sex isn’t ever on the forefront of our minds and that’s normal for us! I’m 2 months postpartum and neither of us desire that kind of intimacy right now, probably because we’re so tired! 😅 I would say don’t worry about it unless it’s straining your relationship.

[@jenniferstuart1228]

@@alauramouw4830 thank you so much for sharing! There is definitely no strain on our relationship and we have other ways of showing our love for one another. It feels really good to know we are “normal”. What even is that anyways haha

[@selinaselcuk6626]

Great q&a Megan! Love you guys. May I give you a little advice for Matt? I noticed that he's looking at the viewfinder while he is taking and it's kinda distracting. A lot of KZbinrs do this actually and a lot of people are complaining about it 😁 so before it happens here I'm trying to say it really nicely. I hope you're not offended ❤️

[@jamesbrean8004]

I wanna be a dad and have a wife and a child

[@veronicalynn2056]

My personal outlook on public school is I honestly don’t know how anyone can think it’s safe. I come from a small town and the next town over just had a shooting with 4 dead and many injured. My heart just breaks. Imagine if that was your child like ugh it’s so terrible. Many don’t think it can happen to them but you never know. Just something to think about! You guys are great parents ❤️

[@MeganAcuna]

I think this has a lot to do with the area you’re in more than public school in general

[@veronicalynn2056]

@@MeganAcuna I have to disagree just because school shootings happen in all sorts of different towns and cities. But like I said this is my personal opinion and you guys are good people who will figure it out and in the end, do what’s best for you and your child whatever that may be!! ❤️

[@kodiking3841]

I feel like if you have the ability to provide private school for your kids you should since it is technically a safer environment and many people wish they had the financial ability to

[@MeganAcuna]

I’m sure some private schools are safer but that’s not always the case. I hope we’re in a financial position to be able to consider it and have the choice by the time Rowan’s in school but my channel would have to grow a significant amount so we’ll see

[@seaofglass77]

I'm on Matt's side for at least avoiding public school, whatever you end up doing. As a mom who has worked in public school, I promise that if you really understand what public school is about, you have an obligation to take your kid out.

[@MeganAcuna]

I think this is probably too broad a generalization. I’m sorry the school you worked in wasn’t great but the public school I went to gave me an amazing education and the middle school where I did my student teaching hours was great too. It’s also kind of problematic to say that all parents who understand public school have an obligation to take their kids out when private school may not be financially attainable for a lot of people.