History of the World - According to ROME Total War

[@Diagonalstuff]

“Every single Roman general seemed to be of the exact same skill level”

[@joshf7321]

Total War is the best source for a history essay. Thousands of years ago people in the desert fought in bright pink pajamas, Egyptians still fought with bronze age weapons and amour well into the iron age, And Half of the world was rebels.

[@Jazza1198]

I remember clearly watching an instructional/Biography like video on the Roman Empire in school .... Half of the video had clips from Rome Total War lol

[@dusk6159]

Creative Assembly and Relic are deadly with their intrinsical use of myths and how those (together with hunches, inaccuracies, gut feelings, misconceptions etc) run the older TWs and Coh2 titles. Still games of dreams though, of course.

[@Tom-tk4ir]

“Pointless and Armenia”

[@MelkorGG]

Trying to take the most Pontus land they can find, yes. : ) It was a type at first, but I just went with it XD

[@Tom-tk4ir]

@@MelkorGG XD

[@detectiverick9934]

I mean in my games, pontus always destroys Armenia and then takes all of Turkey and its then a coin flip as to who will take the middle east, them or egypt

[@TealWolf26]

😂

[@GooseGumlizzard]

Pontus is a sick faction, EZ mode , they become super rich and have a lot of good units

[@aleaiactaest6503]

Lol I'm wondering how Barbarian Invasion will be: "Magically, after all of the population was massacred, a bunch of rebels decided to call themselves the old nation, 200 miles from the capital." "And the Roxolani, a faction you will never see" "The main European hordes are all the exactly same, in culture, location, and strength. Lombardi, Franks, and Burgundii."

[@vlads3283]

The dacians won' forget this insult Melkor.

[@lumezeanueduard-vasile6908]

Finally im not the only one!

[@stormrunner4081]

At least you got a mention think about the poor Thracecians not even a whisper

[@MiksusCraft]

Call Decebal. Now.

[@thecrazytophatman7304]

Barbarian is going to be a funny one “When all members in a family dies they magic 5 units and family members out of no where” “Factions appear out of thin air” “Huns go into India instead”

[@Pelagion98]

I hope you do one on Medieval. If yes, dont forget to mention the fact that Byzantines came up with a cheap way to manufacture purple colour and that entire kingdoms like Bohemia are just rebels.

[@MelkorGG]

XD I'll try and remember this one when it happens : )

[@JuanCarlos-sq4vf]

Rome 2 total war wishes it was this historical accurate

[@caprimercenary2522]

"And there's the Dacians and that's about it." I can't believe you didn't even mention their superior machine working by inventing the ballista alongside the Romans.

[@ferblancart8669]

"they were hatless, take note"

[@RandomPerson-zy5pr]

You forgot about the most mysterious and important faction: Rebels. Little is known about them. Their exact purpose is unknown. But they appear everywhere. They practically come out of the ground. They most often appear when the inhabitants of a city are very dissatisfied. Then they appear in it (the game does not show exactly how), and then the troops do not even try to defend themselves against them and abandon the city. Or maybe some kind of magic kicks them out of city? Who knows.

[@pyry1948]

They are also attracted to watchtowers

[@christophep6650]

0:06 I have this map hanging on my wall in my sleeping room lmao I'm not joking

[@MelkorGG]

XD Where can I get one also? : )

[@christophep6650]

@@MelkorGG I just printed it on A3 paper format, nothing special XD the image itself has good quality to do this. I used it once as a game board for a rome total war themed game at my youth movement

[@CmdrDingus]

>And the Romans go on to conquer the rest of the known world -- except for that little part at the top that takes 300 turns to reach

[@laurasavage8925]

Apparently in Rome total war the world is much smaller than the irl world

[@_boney]

columbus wants to know your location

[@m.a.t.a.s]

@@_boney The world

[@SabotSender]

@@_boney That’s easy. Just set your location to India. And relax while he goes looking.

[@MelkorGG]

Make sure to check out Part 1, about Alexander. 1000 Likes for Barbarian Invasion, as these really are not easy to put together. : )

[@patricklomasney]

These videos are really good. But you missed the pink pajama people to the east 😂

[@TheDrumstickEmpire]

Patrick Lomasney NOT THE PINK PAJAMA PEOPLE!!!

[@patricklomasney]

@@TheDrumstickEmpire why? What is wrong with the all mighty pink pajama people?

[@ke-mob634]

Will medieval 2 be next after barbarian invasion?

[@TheDrumstickEmpire]

Patrick Lomasney didn’t say there was?

[@TheDrumstickEmpire]

Another day, another super video from mellikorio!

[@joetickle9676]

The Brutii took over the entire world... Apart from Thermyskyra of course. The Amazon kept everyone out by just not building any roads and planting their forest in a winding pattern so every time the Romans tried to invade, they would get bored before they reached the capital and decide it wasn't worth it.

[@臺伯留]

True, Brutii is much easier than Julii. But make beat Brutii quite interesting.

[@MelkorGG]

I love how the community are just in agreement to ignore the Scipii altogether as having potential XD

[@臺伯留]

@@MelkorGG wait, we have THREE houses?

[@fettfan91]

"Pointless Pontus." that cut deep.

[@AidanMartin]

man watching it,this makes the game sound even more anachronistic or inaccurate than it already does

[@Jafroboy]

I never knew there was such a rich vein of RTW-based humour on KZbin...

[@jakobkiilerich3588]

Did you just call Corinth "Corniff"

[@Rubensitoc]

he has dislexia - the way he pronounces settlement names is like a drunk guy trying to drive a car

[@MelkorGG]

No, I pronounced it KorNitH ; ) It's an old channel meme XD

[@PCgoandPlay]

@@MelkorGG you are the best Melkor, this video was awesome!

[@sjonnieplayfull5859]

@@MelkorGG but you DID mention Rhodes this time....

[@Inquisitor_Vex]

I came to the comments for this one. Thank you.

[@PharmacyCzar]

"The barbarian hordes were poised to sack Rome and destroy the empire, until they decided to turn around and do nothing of note in Salona for another three years."

[@OvercomingAndThriving]

A most accurate history of Rome along with Dovahhatty Unbiased History.

[@Ramelousy]

This is great

[@icheko2498]

I actually liked the bronze age Egyptians. for me it's all about being able to play without unit types.

[@ImDunedain]

Great video, mate, hope more like it come in the future

[@rostislavmartynyuk9774]

3:45 The Julii family (gens Julia) is quite ancient. The earliest record being a consul in 489 BC, "Gaius Julius Iulus".

[@the_tactician9858]

They were there, but they were not powerful at all. Families like the gens Valeria or the gens Fulvia are not really known anymore, but they were a lot more influential than the Julia, right until someone decided that that guy they nicknamed 'Caesar' would make a decent junior partner in an alliance...

[@lukahorvatic2586]

Got recomended Alexander on youtube and now I see this got released, the alghoritm did a good job

[@rdemonitized3645]

How to explain in 3 words: Carthago delenda est

[@scintillam_dei]

CARTHAGO DELENDA EST

[@michaelthijs6813]

Chariots were still used though by British tribes by the time the Romans arrived (edit: in warfare)

[@WayOutGaming]

So wait, you're telling me I shouldn't write a doctorate dissertation paper using Rome Total War as a primary source?

[@MelkorGG]

Not at all. I am saying you should! : )

[@ferblancart8669]

And stability on the Brutii empire was ensured by periodically enslaving unhappy and overpopulated cities, and that never incited more revolts whatsoever. Thanos did nothing wrong

[@pavolp.6527]

Pontus gang assemble Melkor made a dangerous enemy

[@tacoblude8208]

I like how even the republics were monarchies in Rome total war because CA couldn’t figure out how to make multiple governments

[@NupidStigger]

Who else is watching this after the new melgone video?

[@KVirello]

The British using chariots is historically accurate for the time. Egyptians not so much.

[@91plm]

7:32 *THE SENATE WILL DECIDE YOUR FATE...*

[@_coolman_8941]

I am the senate.

[@R-H-B]

Barbarian invasion has to have something about Campus Frisii and Libya being united under one banner against West Rome

[@davidcotronese6269]

I think you forgot to mention the greatest of the rtw Gods - Melkor. It's also now part of the history🏛️

[@MelkorGG]

I don't get them much now, but if you just keep building up as Rome and never go to Civil War, the game will try everything it can to make you declare it, or they declare on you. : )

[@stalhandske9649]

6:25-6:52 "I hereby declare the assembly of the Imperial Society For Putting Things On Top of Other Things In The Province of Belgica open."

[@lumezeanueduard-vasile6908]

Dacians relations decreased

[@spinspir1741]

I have never ever seen that suicide mission from Senate

[@MelkorGG]

It happens when you play as Rome, conquer a lot of land, but never start the Civil War. The game always just tries to force Civil War to happen in one way or another. : )

[@spinspir1741]

@@MelkorGG That's something new I learned today. As far as I remember playing RTW, either I start the Civil War or another Roman Faction but all these years and campaigns I have played I never came across that message. You must be very passive for that to trigger

[@scintillam_dei]

@@spinspir1741 I was not passive. I had an empire to the north west and south of Italy, while the Brutes and Julii conquered far less when that order for murdering my leader came. Then my empire disintegrated. SIGH.... Back to Age of Empires 2.

[@JetMC254]

"The Scipii, named after the not yet famous Scipius family" lol

[@marcgw496]

I forgot how creepy the character icons for children looked in this game.

[@valv_]

8:26 the most annoying rebel settlement

[@MrFriendlyFellow]

Yeah great video! Maybe I should do something like this on my channel!

[@The_Custos]

Did you call Pontus "pointless"? That's hilarious.

[@RussellAdlerCIA]

8:O4 Whats with mod with Anthony and Augustus

[@agreatmanlookingtotheright]

Ahhhh how could we be conquered, we just used technology thats 700 years out of date. -Egyptians probably

[@saguntum-iberian-greekkons7014]

“Mean-wale” haha Love your pronunciation

[@alejoalfonso1459]

The Pyrrhus part really hit me hard. Is there a mod out there to make the Epirus faction? In 270 BC, Phyrrus the Second was still a powerful king with elephants, not a militia general ffs.

[@MelkorGG]

There's big overhaul mods that do it, but that I know of that add them and keep the Vanilla map and stuff.

[@alejoalfonso1459]

@@MelkorGG Any good mod page you'd recommend m8? I only know total war plaza unfortunately

[@MelkorGG]

@@alejoalfonso1459 Moddb I use mostly.

[@mentality111]

Those Unit Cards are great at 2:03. What mod is that?

[@MelkorGG]

This is the Mod: steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=250932887 I hate the original Rome 2 card look, so this was a must for me :)

[@mentality111]

@@MelkorGG thanks!

[@TheDrumstickEmpire]

Yes!

[@makaan1932]

looking back now, the game seems far less impressive then it did back in the day, when I was 13

[@MelkorGG]

Technology changes. Graphically it may not be there, but it's still always a fun good laugh : )

[@sjonnieplayfull5859]

Play Rome 2, Thrones of Britannia and Troy, then come back to Rome 1 and be amazed. The Graphics are better these days, but some mechanisms in Rome 1 have not seen a better version in 20 other games since...

[@scintillam_dei]

The US taught me geography, so when I played Rome: Total War for the first time, I found out how Greece looked (albeit lacking most of its islands especially in the center where there is disgusting absence of them). Now I love maps so much I did realistic ones for Age of Empires 1 and 2 you can see in my channel. Real-time strategy is better than turn-based 'cause no one takes turns in real war. When I saw wardogs devouring barbarians back in 2007, I was so in love with the graphics and the beauty of it all. Now, it's quaint. I prefer Age of Empires 2, but the DE edition seems a bit cartoony, and I hate "updating" my computer all the time, so I would hate the same for a game.

[@sarmatiancougar7556]

2:04 What mod is that?

[@MelkorGG]

Rome 2 Total War :) Or if you knew that, then it's just the unit card mod: steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=250932887 : )

[@sarmatiancougar7556]

@@MelkorGG oh, thank you! They look awesome!

[@damuvang1915]

Who are the 2 people out of 4 thousand that would dare to dislike this video?

[@sjonnieplayfull5859]

People laughing so hard they shook and misclicked.

[@RicoWolfman]

5:16 how do you make your mini map look like that?

[@scintillam_dei]

Today I gave up playing Rome: Total War after over a decade since last time I tried. It's too frustrating and tedious to manage cities while Egypt takes away all of my gains in Africa (I'm the SCIPII on normal difficulty). I took Crete, and from there Halicarnassus, but they kicked me out. I did stop by in Rhodes to kill every Brute there though. I tried making an alliance with the Scythians, and offered half of all of my territories, but they said "nah" 'cause they're fools. I had hoped to join the Brutes against Egypt before the Senate declared war on me, but I just had to be too popular for the plebes. My empire at that time was most of Germany, all of Gaul, all of the British Isles, Iberia, and western North Africa plus Libya. The Pharaoh went to Libya where he got killed after wiping out about three of my armies. But my spies informed me that half of all Egyptian armies were coming my way, so I increased taxes, abandoned the cities and sailed to southern Italy to take over lands of brutes, which failed in autoresolve since the game was determined that i should lose. I did play myself against the JVLII defeating like three armies at Massilia, but they just kept coming. I had noticed them hoarding armies despite having only like five provinces, and knew they were preparing for war against me. I did not get to finish my genocide against the Celts of Albion but enjoyed painstakingly kicking them out of Britain, Gaul and Germania. I hate rebels. They made peace with me only to rebel again making all rebels turn against me after a universal cease-fire. Makes no sense.

[@kevin06289]

the senate doesn't ask me to kill my leader for some reason; I just lose favor suddenly; I then get upset and kill senate and take rome lol

[@whyareyoureadingmyname10]

Hey if you don't mind what mod is that in rome 2? To see the units that way

[@sauronmordor7494]

yes!

[@saenes6295]

how do you get to run this game so well? mine stays at 15 fps on a very good pc!

[@MelkorGG]

RTW and other old games only optimise 1 core. So you need a PC with a good first core. Average PCs now usually go for weaker ones, but more of them. So I specially got a high end core i9 pc for Rome 1 to run smoothly. It can also work with a high end core i7. Alternatively, there is the d3d8 file which helped me on my old laptop by adding around 20fps. Here's a guide made by snabbcris: kzbin.info/www/bejne/goqwZ3mXg8qSaJY

[@flamebird2218]

4:18 This is inaccurate. Pike and Shot warfare, which was extensively used in the 16th and 17th Centuries, was phased out in the 18th Century due to bayonets (this is the real reason why pikes are in ETW). Pike and Shot warfare was inspired by the ancient phalanx, but the former was mostly used in the Renaissance. Other than that, this video is hilarious.

[@Don-ds3dy]

the Pikemen in Empire:TW seem to exist only to demonstrate how useless melee infantry is in the game.

[@tarasis2722]

this man just called Cor-inth, Corn-ith.

[@MelkorGG]

No, it's Kornith. Old channel meme, just ignore me XD

[@janfarkas8953]

Alexander historical army when?

[@spencervandyke1552]

Lol, Pointlus as Pontus

[@spencertaylor-sputtaylor3937]

I recently learned about the SPQR’s tactics of asking family leaders to commit suicide! 😂 Seriously though all these years of playing Rome Total War I don’t remember ever seeing this happen in game to myself or other people playing. How do you trigger it?

[@redeyecamo129]

Why do you have on low(or is it medium?) unit-scale

[@maxmustermann369]

the julii were of an old patrician lineage, so saying they were not known is wrong. although its most famous members were born after the game...

[@abacaxi.maldoso]

100% historical accuracy

[@animationfanatic2133]

You gotta take Greece, take it and deny the brutii access to money and recruitment and then turn their own weapon against them so to speak

[@Canaris4]

Brutii Empire? That's not how Roman history according to Barbarian Invasion goes. The Julii conquered the Green-folk, and afterwards they would gift all the lands east of Italy to the Senate to create a lasting peace between the Julii and the SPQR. Peace would not last as the Julii would later conquer Rome and the rest of Italy. Either that or the land was traded when the Julii gave the SPQR the former Brutii lands, but that doesn't explain how the Julii acquired Rome.

[@warden-commandercousland]

Ah yes, that incredibly stable Macedonian Kingdom, a line of Kings unbroken.

[@yourbuddyted244]

Barbarians: No way we are going to become Romans!!! our gods are better, and our towns have poop holes everyone shares. *a single roman brick lands on the ground Barbarians: Ave, true to Caesar

[@scintillam_dei]

Germanics love Rome so much the neo-Nazis say Roman originals were blonds, more German than Hitler.

[@absoluteinfinity1197]

History of the world according to M2TW mods Falcom 3 total war and Eras total conquest. that would be hilarious.

[@alexkoppers7882]

I didn't get the joke about Macedon being stable? like there getting invaded by Rome very soon?

[@MelkorGG]

I knew most wouldn't. Macedon had a very unstable monarchy at the time. Lots of people trying to take control and be King. Even the Great Pyrrhus had a go for it I believe.

[@TheSirBrainbug]

Probably because they are famous for their cavalry

[@asasas9146]

@@MelkorGG Yeah i read that Demetrius even lost Macedonia to Pyrrhus, but get it back at some point latter.

[@Realtimehammer]

At least in Rome 1 Syracuse is a proper city, Rome 2 however they made it into a few hovels. At least Rome 2 starts in a later year.... Oh wait...

[@dr.flacko203]

I'm over here wondering how he's controlling the SPQR

[@animationfanatic2133]

Remember tho the Britons created a massive empire in gaul and germania but it collopsladed after a series of brutal battles on the western front

[@levedelson1924]

nice

[@germaxes199]

I hear you saying "green" but I'm still seeing red.

[@blakebobgamez1946]

Nice

[@kharizma1734]

Hats make you a better shot it’s simple

[@travisvalentine8093]

Why does it sound like im watching the discovery channel?

[@simonepapasidero9741]

KORNIFF!!

[@senator7452]

Alexander Stole the Persian Empire Parthia : I just made the Persia , persian Again 🇮🇷💙🇮🇷

[@Lolavs]

0/10, completely forgot to bring up Julianus Vatinius.

[@ajavierb2078]

Omg i was the 1k like!!

[@maxsmotorsports1568]

Did you just call pontus "Pointless" wow

[@MelkorGG]

It was typo in the script. I also called the pointless mountain land around them as Pontus. I chuckled, so I just went with it XD

[@andrews.5212]

Cornif xD xD because corinth is too mainstream xD

[@Fulcrox]

Why is this guy talking like the Gomans in Life of Brian

[@manu_spawn]

Are you French? Cause the R

[@DissidentMitch]

HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THY JULIE 😡

[@willotter4503]

corNIth!

[@Adnanbin1985]

Why bother with GCSE's when you have youtube

[@manooxi327]

ecx

[@londomollari1082]

It's more a commentary on the game and not a sarcastic history lesson :/

[@MelkorGG]

Have what opinion you want, but I cover AI Only campaigns, which are commentaries on the game, and the two are completely different styles.

[@londomollari1082]

@@MelkorGG What do you mean? I meant that it distinguishes between the Alexander the Great ones video.

[@zerozero2170]

Ahh Yes!!! Pointless and Armenia