The Simple Tool That Will Transform Your Family Dynamic

[@mfrance3834]

I agree with what Mel is saying. I also believe that just because you’re related to someone does not give them the right to have access to you no matter what. Toxic people who don’t add value to your life need to be avoided as much as possible, and sometimes cut out for your best mental health. It’s impossible to connect successfully with a person who has totally different values . My husband’s family had a narcissistic matriarch who did the expected damage. Thankfully she is now gone. The family is fractured and angry due to the unhealthy dynamic. My husband really wanted to stay connected but he sees that reality makes that unlikely. And that’s okay. We get it, we deepen relationships with the people we’re in alignment with, not the ones who cause conflict. No regrets.

[@theglittercorner]

Tried everything, I was the one sending Christmas cards, I thought about everyones birthday, I am the friendly rational one....ok, now I let everyone be. I tried enough.

[@jeanbartrum2773]

The Let Me is the very important part of this x

[@teamgert]

Do it for your soul. Stop caring if they send one back or return the favor in the form of a gift, a call. Trust me: when they die, you’ll know you did your part and will have peace in your soul.

[@TampaBouncehouserental]

Is it the new generation? I’m in my 40s and I tend not to send anything like that

[@ac4181]

That is a healthy approach after all the time and energy of maintaining a one sided relationship, and dealing with all the mind ruminating that comes with that. It's healthy now to accept what is

[@VS-fo9py]

@glittercorner You can still do those things if you want, just release yourself from whatever expectations you have back from them. If you like doing that stuff then you should. Your family probably does appreciate it even if they don’t say it. My mom like making a big deal about Christmas, we kids all in our late 30s early 40s really wish she wouldn’t and wish she would spend the money on herself for a nice vacation or something, but with this Let Then theory I realized I have to let her, this is what makes her happy. 😊 and it released a lot of guilt from myself at the same time because I questioned whether I was a Scrooge because I don’t see Christmas the same as her (I don’t feed into consumerism, I live on a budget, I try to be a minimalist with my possessions) I’ve came to realize both can be true- my mom can go all out on Christmas and I don’t have to but I can still show up to the gatherings and have a great time.

[@anjulamutanda2000]

No contact is the only way for some people to survive & thrive- and that’s ok too. You can disconnect in the physical world and you can disconnect in your inner world- this part takes a little longer-and seeking support for this- is a useful step forward. I don’t agree that interconnection with toxic/critical/ harmful familial relationships is just part of life. Blood is not thicker than water- it is just stickier!

[@silver2733]

Preach 🙌 .

[@lavozenamoradacadame]

@@silver2733 I completely agree.

[@valgray4146]

Truth

[@tinaalbritton3450]

Amen ​@@silver2733

[@gallardooswaldo7298]

sorry I don´t undestant very good what she mean, is she talking of the nuclear family (fathers, mothers, son and dauthers)? because in my country everything focuses around them. Someone with no family is nothing (nobody) at all. money, success or fame is not important, however to hold one stable family is really wonderful. we say family is family (familia es familia)

[@teamgert]

My brother died within 2 weeks after a hospital stay. 48, diagnosed with lymphoma that quickly took over his bone marrow, lungs, and brain. His last Facebook post: “hoping to figure out what this is so I can get home to my little man who just turned 5 and celebrate his birthday. Prayers please.” To say my/our world is crushed is an understatement. We all get this day/time: a parent’s death, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin. Mel, the loss of a sibling is unspeakable. There are no words. The focus is to the wife/spouse and the children. Maybe the parents. But the other sibling (s)- very little. Wishing you a blessed holiday. Hold them close. Hug them longer. Fix the past and leave it there. From your fellow Muskegon MI follower (now Kalamazoo)…. Donald “GERRITT” Stulp

[@Bexinja]

God bless 💜 I never thought about that. As a sister to 4 siblings I can only empathize with you and pray that the pain diminishes and is replaced with joyful memories and peace.

[@lavozenamoradacadame]

The wonderful advice you are giving can only go so far. It may work for those who have grown up in a privileged bubble where the “normal” or “healthy” Family dynamics can be worked with. This doesn’t work with abusive, closed minded sociopaths or narcissists in the familial web. But I’ll try your advice and techniques on other relationships I DO want to deepen and strengthen. Thank you for this!

[@silver2733]

@@lavozenamoradacadame Absolutely.

[@donamiceli8470]

Seen, heard ,helped and supported. I prayed this morning for help with me letting go of the choices of an adult child. Then this showed up on my you tube feed. Thank you. Great timing.

[@ritaowens7378]

LET THEM!!!!!

[@SandySidedoor721]

God speed to you. I have a 36 year old son. I have been struggling with him for the past 6 years of the choices he has made.

[@melrobbins]

Wow!! I am SO glad this message found you, my friend xo ❤

[@lisafurness4174]

Detachment, letting it go, and dropping the rope for the need to control, are all Al Anon tools that are useful in so many situations like Mel is speaking about. Mel's podcast has helped me understand the bigger picture of live and let live!

[@jolinedickinsonart1098]

Thank you Mel, my best friend just phoned me, and I send this to her, told her this is the universe way of telling her, LET THEM, so I will gift your book to her now.

[@alejandrapollard3105]

Hi Mel! It has been few weeks since I've listed your podcasts while working, and this one has improved my life 100%. I didn't know how much influence I have over my family and coworkers. I'm so grateful to you because this video encouraged me to get in touch with one of my loved ones. The call brought a positive outcome: forgive. The conversation lasted for more than 4 hours. It's one of the best feelings I've experienced so far. I asked myself if it was worth the effort and wanted to continue being in touch tomorrow, and the answer is always YES!!! Being resilient and giving importance to what really matters: love in family despite our differences.❤ Thanks for your beautiful labor on earth 🌎

[@deborahcurtis1385]

Not with narcissists. I've done so much and it's not going to get better. Pretending otherwise is just damaging and bad for your self esteem.

[@hcmangs3634]

Agree.

[@missyroper9013]

I agree

[@atomiclisa]

The situation or other person(s) may be get better but YOU can.

[@chrisyoung8672]

This is on point . All I have are memories . I out lived my whole family . I was the youngest . Had 12 aunt and uncle's .

[@shweetiepetina1563]

🖐️ I hear you

[@rubbersidedown7041]

Funny. I just tried this at work this morning. I try to be more mindful in my responses, but I also say what is on my mind. I work with two narcissistic women. One is my boss. They are truly oblivious and rude. We've gone through multiple employees, and they still blame the employee instead of their interactions. I will leave this job eventually and move on.

[@suziesevra1757]

Love this topic. We all have choices, some good some bad. We love them, but don't like the choices they make, so let them.

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@atomiclisa]

Mel is on my gratitude list, her podcast is basically my church. I listen to her every morning and it's really facilitated many "Aha" moments for me.

[@melrobbins]

This means SO much to me ❤Thank you for your support!!

[@jamierice6463]

Thank you, I needed this today. I’m struggling with my adult son and I’ve really been down, then this shows up in my feed. I’m going to do my best to start applying this daily. Thank you, Mel!❤️

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@lisawright4699]

A great message for the Thanksgiving week! ❤

[@mrswendyzarb]

I use the cyclone as a picture of my family drama. I am the calm in the eye of the storm. They can all spin around in their drama but i am only witnessing the storm. I feel the effects to a point but i am not a part of the cyclone. I can step in when i want but it is always my choice.

[@اميمةالعكباني]

I always assume that family is the best support no one could do what family does ❤ . We feel that when someone has an issue or illness or even troubles… when we heard about my father’s illness all the gathered to help him and stood up and still until now. thanks God

[@JeepTJay6]

33:59 I have narcissistic wife who has anger issues and relishes every opportunity to paint herself as a victim. (I was ignorant to the concept of love bombing) We have a 12 year old daughter together who unfortunately has ADHD that I passed down to her. She is very bright but has problems with hyperactivity. My issue is that my daughter, when she’s tired and or bored she loves to “tap tap tap” on my wife’s web to get the dopamine her ADHD brain craves. Over and over again I’ve explained to my wife that our daughter taps on her web because she’s looking for a reaction. I’ve explained that if she stops reacting the tapping will stop. But without fail, every single time my wife explodes. Screaming and yelling and throwing things around the house is a daily reality. I’ve come to realize that explaining this dynamic to my wife is pointless because she, like my daughter seems to crave the fight. It fulfills my wife’s need to feel like a victim. And it fulfills my daughter’s craving for dopamine. When the fighting pops off both of them turn to me as a potential teammate. My wife looking for my sympathy. My daughter looking for my validation. This puts me in the middle of a completely unnecessary war. A war that I saw coming long before it even started. Which ever side feels like I didn’t “take their side” now looks at me as their enemy. I’ve learned to just step back and throw my hands up. Unfortunately this has left me in an alienated position. Both my wife and daughter seem to need an enemy in every scenario in order for them to function. If the two of them are getting along then I am the enemy. If my wife and I are getting along my daughter will do things to change that. If my daughter and I are getting along my wife will do things to change that. Everything they do and say is in some way tactical and it has destroyed our family relationship. Unfortunately it’s gotten so bad that I am now looking for options to leave.

[@shelbyschneider5456]

None of my business but...your daughter is the child here; you and your wife are the adults. If your wife is a narcisist; then you need to learn allll you can about it; to protect yourself and your daughter. It is very confusing for your daughter; in a way that is different than you! It is TERRIBLE for you; don't get me wrong. But your daughter needs you to protect her; which will be a big decision making time for you; in terms of custody; who moves where, etc. Good luck. Not an easy situation!!

[@Rainn2606richardson]

Hey if you leave this situation your heart will heal. Yoo will still and always be blamed for everything and they will cry and carry on . The gilt trip. But do it for your heart. Oh and take half your wife does not deserve to keep it all.. that includes your daughter. Best of luck.. " We only put up with so much shit to we move on" ❤

[@cathyellis767]

Sounds like a lot of the great tools of Al-Anon! Great content Mel! Happy Holidays! ✨️🙏🏼🍁🎄❤️

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@barbaralazier8352]

This is so timely for me. I have pre-ordered it on Audible. What a super Christmas present to me.

[@NguyenThuDong-po8qn]

I'm from Vietnam. Just want to say thank you a lot for giving me this valuable advice . And many thanks for creating these videos in the simplest way to understand.

[@princessbravo254]

Thank you so much for sharing ❤..I love everything you said about the let them theory, so life changing!

[@CLtvMichele]

Thanks Mela for such a wonderful podcast. So important as we head into the thanksgiving and christmas holidays.I love you too

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@rebelliouscarpenter]

Thank you Mel for this wonderful insight to let them theory. I'm going to do my best to practice this theory. Have you heard of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor? I think you'd find her fascinating. She's a neuroscientist who had a massive stroke and came back from a vegetative state. You should interview her for a podcast. I'd love for yall to talk about reducing stress and finding inner peace.

[@MuskanRastogi-c4g]

Mel Mel Mel !!!!! TODAY I'm so happy that i came across this podcast. This helped me understand and open different perspectives towards my family situations. Thank you so much. and I love you back :))

[@HappyTailsOutfitters]

Perfect timing for Thanksgiving!

[@stanislavapeacock672]

Mel, you have touched my heart, deeply. Thank you! Much to think about …

[@ingridmaldonado9229]

Mel I recently came across the 5 second rule book and I'm loving it thanks!

[@Last_Chance.]

I wish I had you in my life. I am so insecure and unhappy and stuck in a hole that I doubt i will ever get out of. God bless you Mel. I wish you all the love and happiness and success that life can bring.

[@user-yy8rm1yf9y]

Try to imagine easy solution..that it's possible to be easy.. Or imagine what you actually want. Imagine ideal happy life. Then you have a guidance and power within yourself and you can get it. Also sometimes instead of pushing we need to relax. Or break, say its enough..Then many times things start to move in right direction

[@valeriebelote]

You DO have Mel in your life!! Maybe she’s not there in the exact way you wish… But she is there! You DO have Mel Robbins in your life, my friend❤

[@debbiesutton1340]

Love the "let them" theory...thank you Mel.. 🤗🤗🤗

[@delializarraga9638]

I love the way you are reading from your book. Excellent! 💕

[@LeahZerbib-g4u]

You speak so beautifully. Thank you ❤

[@lenkaa.9955]

I noticed whenever I evolve and change for the better, people say you have changed. And they don't perceive it positively, because they are confronted with new standards and values and they don't want to deal with it. So perceive you as too high standards, thus too complicated. So yeah, I do not react I let them be. I choose what I give my energy to.

[@tricia222]

Thanks 🙏🙏 Let future generations be born with this wisdom. 😇😇😇

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@maggiemurray9169]

Thank you, Mel! This is exactly what I neede at this time in my life. ❤

[@WalterAdams1]

Hello Maggie 😊 How are you doing?

[@yvonnewennerlid2552]

I love this approach. And I love your podcast!!!

[@liezleroux9138]

❤Thank you Mel!!

[@jaanad6551]

I appreciate your wise insight.

[@pjparkin]

I Love You Mel Robbins! ❤

[@melrobbins]

I love YOU!! ❤

[@margeverdan3451]

When with family, sitting in one room in same place all night does not help ...when someone dares to shush you in front of everyone while mid sentence because they don't want to hear you explaining something to someone else...what do you do?

[@shelbyschneider5456]

Yes that's a hard one! Was thinking something along those lines as well..."let them" is fine in some situations...but sometimes ..I want to have my say :-)).

[@margeverdan3451]

I'm just going to say "Hey that's rude" and carry on with a big smile​@shelbyschneider5456

[@karenherrera287]

Consider not taking the mentally ill or emotionally immature person seriously?

[@margeverdan3451]

Yes, but after a lifetime of pushing buttons in my family this person has a way of getting under my skin...noone in the family likes it and most don't speak up strongly enough so it seems to get worse ...she thinks that because she's the oldest sibling she can just say whatever she likes ...will say loudly next time "That's Rude!" Need to be ready for the often unpredictable antics @karenherrera287

[@janey6092]

Mel you are awesome! Thank you…love from 🇨🇦❤️🎄

[@WalterAdams1]

😊 How are you doing?

[@margeverdan3451]

If someone stops the conversation and says "let's talk about something else" when you are answering a question asking about your daily work"--they are probably jealous

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@aj0486]

Thank you, Mel

[@carrieanneartsco]

This just triggers me so hard. I “let them” diminish me and push me around for my lifetime.

[@DenaGunter]

Precisely, 3 boys single mom... youngest has my back, oldest calls me a self-help obssed cultist, and my middle son has chosen no contact. I'm late diagnosed ADHD acceptance is all i need from them.😢 the past has destroyed my family... love the let them theory as i have included it in my tool box, after I heard the graduation situation.❤

[@louiseambrose8328]

Thank you Mel. I needed this

[@Esther-t5d4u]

You are talking - in a way - about the best meaning of the term „democracy“. Here in Switzerland, we try to live it in politics: we all have to let live the „others“, and, after a vote, have to accept to be the ones who lost or won, and even after having won, we must live and respect the „others“. We must do so and we do so - let them. And find a way to co-habit, for the best of the community.

[@humblebjewelry386]

This was so good!

[@dianachicas3484]

Mel's husband's family watching this: 😮😮😮

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@aj0486]

God will heal my family 🙏

[@Thomasfboyle]

Thanks Mel!

[@sandypuentes866]

Let them. It's about you, not them. I love you too, Mel.

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@heatherkehney664]

Thank you Mel ❤️

[@WalterAdams1]

Hello Heather 😊 How are you doing?

[@haileynichelle8343]

Advice please: We suspect that my cousins are mismanaging my 47 yo disabled aunt's money. My strong (but elderly) grandma has taken care of her ever since my aunt became disabled 2 years ago, as she is paralyzed on her right side and has a speech disorder. My eldest cousin, though, is technically conservator, but she sold my aunt's house, has allowed my aunt's insurance to lapse to nothing, and claims that the doctor refused to sign for disability income. Meanwhile, I see her and my other four cousins traveling to Hawaii, going to Bilie Eilish concerts, and sporting new tattoos. They work minimum wage jobs, and do not give my grandma any money to help with their mother's care. If you have read this far, thank you. I want to help my grandma and my aunt, while still staying neutral.

[@haileynichelle8343]

My cousins also think that my aunt should get a job, when she is basically paralyzed on her right side, her right hand completely useless. She never even asked them to pay rent back when she was healthy. 💔

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@jenniferhavlisch1940]

Get an accounting of the estate from the inception of your aunts incapatitation. You may have to seek legal counsel if you're an heir. Money is the root of all evil. Greed of executors tear families apart every day.

[@jp13119]

That's an Adult Protective Services call and you should've already done it. Never stay neutral.

[@sophiarod9130]

I can't wait to read your book!

[@melrobbins]

I can't wait until it's in your hands!! The Let Them Theory is available for preorder right NOW at LetThem.com!! I'm also hosting a live virtual event on December 12th that you can sign up for on LetThem.com by using your order number from your purchase. Can't wait to see you there!! 💚

[@lorokolaqa3522]

Love this❤

[@christine431]

I can't wait to read your book. But we won't get until Christmas...🎅

[@WalterAdams1]

😊 How are you doing?

[@Ttnicole23488]

I love Lisa. Nice to hear you mention her

[@WalterAdams1]

Hello Lisa😊 How are you doing?

[@debbiesutton1340]

Agree 100 percent ❤❤❤

[@user-or8su5yo8x]

Fantastic!

[@leighhales5061]

Thank you for the insight on this complicated topic! Also, faaaabulous top, you are lovely :-)

[@karenherrera287]

Mel Robbins, your Let Them theory is great. I think it would be great if you had Jerry Wise on your KZbin channel and talked about it. ❤

[@Jessica-ju1rm]

Love this it's so true ❤

[@coco55able]

This is so very helpful, thank you. 💖💖

[@melrobbins]

You are SO welcome xo ❤

[@richardmallon1065]

Hello Mel. How have you been? There's a good topic today.😊😊

[@jennybuxton2790]

Thank you ❤

[@WalterAdams1]

Hello Jenny 😊 How are you doing?

[@ClubhouseCrime]

31:56 when are you going to talk about how to handle the things that do involve denying rights? What's that strategy called?

[@karenherrera287]

If you're unsafe, you must leave.

[@joannepereira5080]

Great video thank You ❤️

[@WalterAdams1]

Hello Joanne 😊 How are you doing?

[@familyguymoments340]

thank you Mel!!

[@model_teta]

Thanks ❤

[@roamer2891]

Always i appreciate your podcasts, mel. Could I ask you a topic of your podcast? Recently, I've felt ashamed myself and uncontrollable because of my sex addiction sth like that. How can I solve this problem? Let me know how to. Thank you :)

[@hcmangs3634]

Are you able to play out the ‘Let them’ … brother is a narcissist, throws a tantrum about something stupid, instigating about my husband, I say ‘stop’, he doesn’t stop until done w his rant, I say nothing, it’s awkward, next morning on fam vacation, he ignores me, my husband & child, acts like we don’t exist, doesn’t say goodbye. I pull him aside to tell him not to go off in front of children, he doubles down. I don’t scream or anything, we go back to breakfast at separate tables. My parents that witness all act like it didn’t happen & and when I get upset with my parents, they say they spoke to my brother & I need to forgive & move on. This was the 11th + incident like this, every family vacation. Brother gave condescending apology with control, so not going to Thanksgiving. Unless he is 100% in control, he gets mean. So I took myself out and now my parents are very passive aggressive with me. I try and ‘let them’ with my parents, but makes me sad and struggling pretending to be ‘all happy go lucky’

[@shelbyschneider5456]

so sorry, that's hard stuff!!! xo

[@karenherrera287]

You have to be genuine

[@MelissaTaylor-m6r]

Thank you!! Love you too. ❤

[@marijkevv11]

How come I can't give a comment here besides under someone else's comment? Is the commentsection full?

[@eringilles4024]

Let them I need to know then how to deal with my husband's family at Christmas. They make fun of others and laugh at it. Such as passing a cd around of a CD of a coworker who makes music but they make fun of it. Talking how bad the neighbors are. Talking about coworkers in not a good way. I than have to go home and try to undo that idea to my kids that making fun of others except is not a Christmas thing.

[@margeverdan3451]

Say to them, "Can we be more positive please? I like to hear good things about people at Christmas!"

[@shelbyschneider5456]

@@margeverdan3451 Yes this is a good example of...wanting to be way more forceful; I would want to say "those are not kind words and that is not ok" to the GROWN UPS. Would be impossible for me to just "let them" with that :-(.

[@karenherrera287]

I would have a hard time staying in an environment like that, especially with my kids. I think I would have to excuse us and leave, saying I had to go for some unknown errand.

[@aj0486]

Love Mel

[@shelbyschneider5456]

Um..is there a link to this CHAIR???? I love it so much!

[@jeanbartrum2773]

Mind blowing

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@carinperkins272]

I’m leery to send this to some family members that are narcissist that truly gaslight.

[@MSHEnglishAcademy]

Amazing topic, I'm Shamim Hasan from Bangladesh ❤

[@Rainn2606richardson]

I get anxiety before i even go to family Xmas day.. I feel it in my chest I have tears...So if they keep pocking and picking is it ok for me to just leave and go home at Xmas..??

[@vivekvb281]

It really helpful

[@ElsaThal]

Thank you ✌🏽💖🤟🏼✨️🧚‍♂️

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

Love ones

[@lzshow]

I wish I no longer wanted 2 be close 2 my sister but I do. That's y she knows she can keep hurting me because I care

[@danawaterman8480]

Hi Mel ❤ I've been following you since covid. I love your broadcasts I find them & I learn from them. I want to say something please. "Just let them theray " I come from 2nd generations of toxic, narcissitic, impossible family members, including a brother and a step parent. All my life it's been hell!! Make a long story short. Since I realized that they are not going to change. I made the choice to cut all ties from those individuals. My Life has been happier and peaceful. I do want to mention I do have an older sibling who I have a wonderful relationship with, they also saw all of their BULLSHIT too! I want to also mention... both generations, step parent& younger brother are highly abusive in every way. In this case I believe the let them theray doesn't apply to them. Best regards 😊 DW

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@Amb.CHHolland]

I do not consent

[@SheaFoster-k1b]

Holding him here

[@jennaemullins7612]

What sucks though is the fact that you have to adapt not to react in certain ways two things that probably aren't going to change though

[@dannahfam]

What if your sibling went into a jealous rage and said something completely unforgivable immediately after you’ve given birth? Let it go?

[@WalterAdams1]

I like your comment😊 How are you doing?

[@shelbyschneider5456]

that would be a tough one! I don't think I would do very well with letting that goooo

[@KristaMarkstrom]

In reading many of the comments about this episode, I hear a great deal of grief and pain from how family has treated them. My immediate family dynamics were always strained from my earliest remembrance. Mel reads from her book in this video : “People can only meet you as deeply as they meet themselves.” So true! When my mother was literally dying is when I realized I was never going to get from my mother the love I sought from her all my life. There was no way she could love me, my sister, my brother, my father the way we deserved because she didn’t know how to genuinely love herself. Our family was seriously dysfunctional from all of us trying to figure out how to navigate my mother’s constantly changing waters. The night before she died I got to tell her that it was when standing beside her holding her hand is when I realized it wasn’t about how much she loved me, it was about how much I loved her. There was such a peace that came over me. And it’s never left. Because what I came to understand is that the value was in my own love for her that truly mattered. I didn’t realize that what I was doing with my mother was basically the “let her” approach. Since Mel explained in one podcast the “let them” theory I’ve been using that approach with everyone. Those two words, “let them”, gives myself permission to move away from my judgments, my feelings, and move forward with my own life because other people are no longer in control of my feelings and my reactions. What I can and try to send back is a prayer, a message to the Universe, or even through a phone call/text/email/face-to-face my feelings of genuine compassion and love for the human being they are. Not for their drama. Their issues. Love for their humanity. In these past 6 years since the night before my mother died, I have come to learn if my family/friends have shown a side to me that I do not deserve, then I need to learn to love myself the way I deserve to be loved. Sometimes that takes professional guidance. Sometimes that can happen through my own work-like listening to Mel! And sometimes it means stepping away from loved ones until they better understand I WILL be putting on my own oxygen mask first before I give away my energy because this is, first and foremost, my life journey.

[@sandypuentes866]

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. It was helped me process my own situation with both of my parents. God bless you.

[@KristaMarkstrom]

@ sending compassion and light your way ♥️

[@arizonashopper5095]

You are so wise. This made me tear up. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ❤

[@KristaMarkstrom]

@@arizonashopper5095 ♥️

[@SheaFoster-k1b]

Relaxing

[@lzshow]

U can show up with love and my sister will still show up with hate

[@eniggma9353]

how about: no?

[@lisaperez6074]

So hard when u have sibling that does not care for there elderly parents and even give her siblings a niece a break......

[@annemettejorgensen4912]

I’m not that selfish. I am now responsible for my parents. Been taking care of them for six years now. 98 and 100 they are now. I’m organized and detailed and I don’t over think how our family runs. Perhaps this applies to younger families who are still so self absorbed 😂

[@eficioperez328]

Thanks. Im new here .Nv I like you show

[@Driver411]

This is great for an only child

[@123yllib]

Wow, you couldn’t be more wrong. Some family members don’t want to see you happy or well. Some take away everything you have and steal from you. Some family members, (after your father passes away leaving you executor of the will) work on your elderly mother To have you completely taken off as executor and out completely) All out of greed and jealousy. They also block you out and never speak to you again and don’t allow you to speak to your own mother. (because they now control everything she does down to who she sees, and speaks to. Leaving you basically with no one and all alone. What do you do in that case Mel? And no, I honestly haven’t done anything to anyone. I am the quiet shy one of the family who got kicked to the curb out of jealousy and greed and because they don’t want me to expose some of the things they did. Worst part is being left out and alone. Your advice is always these catchy Little bits that don’t help in the real world with people who have real struggles. Just trying to sell your books I guess.

[@MomsBedtimeStory]

I read your comment and couldn't help but respond ... You are right ... Mel's book won't solve the problem that You face ... I know how that feels ... Not everything she said or read out of her book works in my case either ... But use what applies to You and your situation. My husband did unforgivable things to my children and me. I pray I never see him again. He literally ruined our lives. I won't be forgiving him because what he did was conscious and unforgivable but I have other family members that are worth caring about... I want to use all the tools available to make my relationships better. I'm sure You can use this advice with the people who Love YOU. I'm going to pray for You and your Mom ❤

[@brintest]

Sorry to hear this. Maybe contact an elder care attorney or the local elder services agency. The silbings may be financially or otherwise abusing your mother.

[@shelbyschneider5456]

I am so sorry for all that you are dealing with!!! That's terrible. I hope that somehow you are able to do what you can for your mom and yourself. xo

[@karenherrera287]

Not every theory is applicable in every situation

[@lb1798]

12:24. #TheLetThemTheory

[@lb1798]

16:00❤

[@maryirick3579]

❤

[@WalterAdams1]

Hello Mary😊 How are you doing?