Men Also Get Traumatized By Narcissists w/ Rick Belden

[@anaviana2641]

Thank you Ross and Rick for your conversations. I am female and I'm also from a very dysfunctional abusive family up bringing. Ross believes (so do I) that because of the trauma in our childhoods we then by default always attract these mad narcissists into our life. When we become self aware (later on in life) , learn to deal with all the pain that we experienced and learn to set boundries for our life and learn to function "normally", my question is - will that allow us to interact with non-narcissistic types? Why was it so easy to attract narcs and be attracted to narcs? Maybe the reverse is true too? Right now unfortunately I am very sceptical of most men because I have done alot of work just to become aware and to deal with the trauma. Still having to do work on myself but it's not that intense any more (I don't cry hours on end, I dont feel angry, lost, devasted, confused, ashamed etc). Its so late in life now, but being a better person to myself, setting boundries etc does make for a better non toxic life but you are alone (not lonely) to enjoy your life without the haters/ mad narc's abuse. I grateful for the good friends and family in my life. My lesson learnt in a nut shell = being a good person does not make for good relationship because its with the wrong person ie the narcissist who will guarantee your unhappiness, who will deliver without fail so much pain, suffering and harm to you. Being a good person now means being very aware of who is doing what and why they are doing certain things. Narcs are master deceivers, manipulators but Ross has shown us ways to detect these evil types. Thank you for all your contributions 🙏

[@cooldudicus7668]

What scares me about the narcs I have dealt with in my life is the level of planning and sophistication in manipulation that they have. It is truly frightening. I have always just been the kind of guy who is content to be while others are who they want to be. The narcs I dealt with put immense effort into their agenda. They were good-- spooky good. Honestly the only way I could see what their plans were was when they made a blatant mistake. Even then, it was hard to see. I hope all works out for you. I truly do. May lady luck smile on your every endeavor.

[@djignatin4043]

I am codependent. I was raised in a narcissistic family. I am deeply traumatized. I got into bodybuilding and martial arts in order to deal with the pain.

[@lilac624]

I was raised by borderline parent and aunt...My childhood was very very traumatic...

[@djignatin4043]

@@lilac624 Not as bad as mine.

[@boxelder9167]

@@djignatin4043 - I don’t know. Chris Chris’s was pretty bad. Maybe even 2.35% worse because he never had his pain acknowledged.

[@lilac624]

@@djignatin4043 I suspect my grandmother was also a narc...She actually abandoned her 9 children and some of them developed personality disorders and became smokers and even alcoholics

[@lilac624]

@@robert.9028 Parenting is such a skill yet there is no regulation on who will get married and become parents...Mental health is such a worldwide phenomenon but it is overlooked...Psychology makes me aware that trauma continues and is just a cycle but the public does nothing about it...

[@cooldudicus7668]

I am recovering from dealing with narcs where I used to live. It got brutal. I was never able to relax because that is when they would pounce. They also attacked my reputation, stalked me, and even at one point I was physically assaulted. It is all behind me now, but I struggle with not getting mad at the bastards who got away with what they did. Nothing happened to them. Nothing. To this day, they bask in their idea of being the good guys. The sad thing is that it happened for the dumbest reason. There was an old guy where I lived who was in very bad health. His family, law enforcement, EMTs, the landlord, and I were all concerned for his well being. We tried to convince him to go to a nursing home. After I moved out to a better place, he did go to a nursing home. It is hard deal with the aftermath of the anger and frightening level of planning and deliberate conniving that I had to endure. I learned how to deal with it. I am at the point where I could use my new found skills in counter intelligence, etc for bad. It scares me. I will not do it. I do not want to become like the monsters I dealt with. Let God judge between me and thee is my attitude. I just do not want to become like them. That scares me the most.

[@northpole4592]

That is the scariest thing. True

[@hiperventilat8064]

listening to this had a calming effect on me... the patience and respect rick brings to men's stuck emotions is quite remarkable

[@DrPhilGoode]

Your HMS book resonated with me on a level that I can’t put into words. The main reason, and you mentioned it here, was your personal journey that reflected my own personal story. Once I read the intro, I surrendered myself to whatever was coming next. I feel like I’m being super dramatic just saying those words but I had no where else to go. I was at a point where I could no longer exist until I discovered the “whys”. Up until that moment I was consumed with the “what” being too scared of what I might find if I went down the “why” aisle. Thanks again.

[@wendydaniel1110]

As a culture, especially in the "Western world" , we have stifled, punished and abandoned the souls of our men. Unfortunately, because of this major ongoing psychological damage, we have men disconnected from themselves and everyone else. Men need a safe place to be "real" where trust, acceptance and a place of non- judgment is a priority . As a society we will continue to pay a very heavy price of having a culture of "distorted toxic men "living in a place of repressed pain where destruction of self and others is "the norm". . It's imperative that we do more for our men because in the long run, we all benefit as a society from their individual healing .

[@disruptivephilosophy]

Thank you for this. I have many men in my life, that I am a safe space for and these talks help me understand more of what they are going through. I subscribed immediately to Rick Belden's channel. I appreciate both of you all's work.

[@RickBelden]

You're very welcome. I'm glad our visit has been a help to you.

[@abhaysingh-db4fd]

Ross sir, your videos are like wisdom for me, the mentor that i never had

[@Salvnite]

I told a ex military person about Toxic Masculinity this term I heard before. I kinda took it as he said there is no such thing as toxic masculinity... that I ought not /I shalt not beleive there is toxic masculinity.. after the relationship ended... I started to think he loves the gang culture and wining the "tough guy contest" and the message was... "What are you thinking????" He was so subtle... just like my dad I told him about... what a situation. His name was David worked at Assurence Wireless. He reminded me of my Originally brother. Where you could easily picture him with a steroid induced body figure with sunglasses drinking gasoline with nails in the blender type... my WHOLE LIFE thats just the beggining.... I swear..... so many people out there that thrive off lazer focussing on the semantics/ petty/ miniscule /nitpicking/ making a mountain out of a molehill.

[@lookingforsea]

5:20 I am VERY Disassociated I believe... it happened ever since I went No Contact with my Mom and moved to another state 4 states away.... I feel always numb and something is lost... I used to be very motivated and have this liveliness I used to have is 100% gone.. I was wondering how Rick moved to Texas... and if he is like I am... numb... and ineffective yet he is a coach... I am nothing like that... but how could we measure all the things necessary you know lol just something in my mind. 23:30 I believe that living in this world is not conducive at all... to the betterment of your life position you have to really go out of your way or it has to be like Rick said one time divinely orchestrated to find somewhat wholesome help that is FITTING for what you are experiencing. Most of the things you deal with demoralizes you... about 85% ( I am ballparking) makes you worse off as a person that you would run into... in this life... they are like dead ends... or marrages (in deserts) like counterfit solutions that make things worse... as opposed to wholesome solutions.. as children we learn to crawl... and as teenagers we learn to rebel and defile ourselves... our parents in all this? Not truly there... so we are litterally thrown out into the wild west to fend for ourselves and then people expect perfection from their non-attachment from reality... it is completely delusional for them to expect people to just self fix themselves the next day because we stepped in their "high and mighty presence" it is absurd...it is insanity. THAT is part of the problem... not that we were put into an unfair situation... that was outside of our circumestances... did we make ourselves in our Mom's womb??? Then why are a bunch of grumpy false accusers nearby to double down if you might want a comfortable way to thrive... that is darn near your HUMAN RIGHT... and these people who obligate you into a toxic pig pen way of life like theirs... ought to never effect anyone who just wants to be whole ever... and live amongst themselves to destroy themselves in a concentrated area of the nation... I guess the impoverished ways of the black communities one could say is similar... but racism is wrong... pointing out that someone has no chance of getting better is NOT wrong I would say...to help the betterment of the whole... this is complicated.

[@Michael_Arguello]

Love the defrag art concept.

[@Beanp2025]

Yes, my own father was a victim, and I know of at least another case personally.

[@KirstenanneDownes]

This didn’t have much to do with the title.

[@KirstenanneDownes]

It was interesting but I kept waiting for the title to be discussed

[@Desmondbrown73]

Of course we do, what a ridiculous statement😂

[@janicemurphy4373]

It is so so so sad the way men and women were raised in our society of old and now, man has dominated man to his injury!!!!!!!!! We are created in God’s image not man’s!!!!!!! Man, and it is sad to say just will not except they need the creator in THIER life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man and women cannot direct their step, Jeremiah 10:23 Men are human beings TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and have emotions!!!!!!!!!!!! Healthy women depend on that, what woman would not want that!!!!!!!!!! This is not to say he has to be a wimp but can relate to her feelings and not a narcissist!!!!!!!!!! We live in a screwed up world and it’s because we don’t recognize the Sovereignty of the Almighty God of the Universe!!!!!!!!

[@gingeroneal398]

You’re right.