Mental Filtering: Why You May Only Notice the Negative: Cognitive Distortion #4

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Mental filtering is the cognitive distortion where we only see one aspect of a situation - usually the negative side of it when it comes to depression or anxiety. Mental filtering makes us more depressed. When we only notice the bad, life is depressing. But when we feel crappy, when we feel depressed, we’re more likely to mental filter. Watch this video to learn what you can do to stop this vicious cycle.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[@forwantofapage6059]

Thank you for being free and more helpful than any $200 hour therapist I've worked with

[@unfluster]

How are you! This is your therapist. The price has just went up to $250, now how are you doing today?

[@forwantofapage6059]

@@unfluster awful. i'm in a financial crisis. have any psychological advice?

[@johnfourteensix4910]

First, I love that you didn’t edit out when the sprinklers went off! It’s a great reminder that we’re all living real life and it’s how we perceive and deal with things that matter. 2nd, I love this video, very timely for me in dealing with my son. He struggles with anxiety and as a result, OCD, both now severe as a consequence of the lockdowns. This filtering truly becomes a self fulfilling ritual as the more you notice the negative, the more you only notice the negative! Our brains try to prove what we think is true, so it seeks out proof of our thoughts, negative or positive. Thank you for the tips.

[@Laf631]

It really brought a smile to see her joyous surprised reaction!

[@SallyMarion]

"when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change" so insightful, thank you :)

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

That's a Wayne Dyer Quote- I should have referenced him :)

[@hhaste]

My problem is, I can't change the way I look at things

[@manupatisanthosh7046]

That's where you intentionally monitor yourself and change your perspective. This video is gold. ​@@hhaste

[@TheDhammaHub]

As an old saying goes: "we see the world not as it is, but as we are"... when we influence the way we are a bit, we can see most things in a brighter light!

[@HEROHCR2YT]

Yes yes yes!!!!!! I love the positive community in channels like this amazing soul's!

[@carpenterfamily6198]

Wow !

[@HarmonyShoal]

This is true only if you're scientifically illiterate. There are tools that can be used to see the world objectively as it actually is.

[@TheDhammaHub]

@@HarmonyShoal And then there is Heisenbergs uncertainty principle that proved that you cannot see the world as it truly is, since the process of measuring changes it

[@HEROHCR2YT]

@@HarmonyShoal it's all what perceptional lense you are looking through. Everyone's realities are different. Some are similar for ex 2020 has been a life changing year. This channel is not about put downs. It's about helping others and the community can help each other in the comments. Thank you for your insight. May you be safe, may you be kind, may you live with ease and may you give and receive love freely....have a wonderful rest of you day/night!!!!!!

[@amber3574]

Im super grateful for this channel. This is a much safer way to start my day rather than jumping into news and coffee. Thank you Emma for all of your work on this channel.

[@pam164]

When your feeling depressed you cannot see any good in anything and you feel so alone and unwanted i know i suffer with it. If I'm feeling ok then nothing much gets me down, but if i am feeling down the world seems to be against me.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yeah, I hear that, it can be so hard when you're feeling down. I feel like it just helps me to fight it a little by challenging my thoughts, then the lows aren't so low.

[@pam164]

@@TherapyinaNutshell Its a horrible dark place to be in and nothing fills you with joy or hope. Maybe my depression has been bad i found menopause brought mine on really bad, and had to go on antidepressants.

[@petersiby3429]

i feel exactly like you.

[@pam164]

@@petersiby3429 So sorry you feel like that its horrible 💕

[@turisteandoentexas]

One day I felt like that and I called my counselor and he said to me the following. "Yes, I hear you. Did you know that it's normal to have those feelings" I said what? It's not good and he said "Well, if you didn't feel this way after a down moment in life, then you wouldn't be normal" "it's ok to feel down or sad or depressed sometimes in our lives, it's what we do about it that defines who we are". So now, I embrace those moments and try to take my time to deal with my feelings and then, write down everything positive I can think of and move on. We can't change others and we can't change our circumstances sometimes, but we can change ourselves. We can do something about our own mind. Hope it helps. It helped me sooooo much!

[@doowop54]

You have such a calming and peaceful way of presenting things

[@moneyharry]

Agree.

[@michelekurlan6489]

This homespun vid is uplifting and gets an extra shot of serendipity when the sprinklers turn on! Bllaahaahaa But truly, this channel and its delightful host very helpful!

[@SnowCityTarot]

Thank you for the video. I found your garden to be very peaceful. One of the hidden benefits of social distancing is everyone gets to enjoy and share their comfortable spaces more. 🧡

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Well said!

[@quarteracreadventures855]

I like this. I will look for more 'hidden benefits' of social distancing ;)

[@patmaurer8541]

Someone gave me a key that made my gratitude practice exponentially more powerful. First, actually sit with the feeling of gratitude; let it make you warm inside. Then, write it down; because somehow, that makes it more real. Lastly, write down WHY you experienced that good thing; "because I asked!" Or, "just because she loves me." Or "because I stuck to it!" This is empowering! And it creates an association for future choices, too. Being happy is much easier when we're grateful :-)

[@chocojavachip]

Recently I heard regarding daily gratitude...be thankful for something that didn’t happen. This was huge for me as I play through a ton of “what if’s”, so I have plenty to be thankful for when I think about what didn’t happen!

[@patteegee9506]

Thank you so much for another awesome and extremely helpful video!! I was raised by parents who did this negative mental filtering, and all of their children adopted this way of viewing life as always negative and threatening. My parents always only saw the negative in every single situation. They always pointed out the downside of a situation or the flaws in a person, never the positive. It became ingrained in the children and a habit and way of life. Needless to say, each child as an adult suffers severe depression and anxiety. A vicious cycle that we have each worked hard to understand and overcome. I greatly appreciate this video and it has caused me to pause and re-evaluate how I see the world. A hard habit to break when it has been ingrained for a lifetime and now I am 60 years old! I'm going to keep working on it though. As Wayne Dyer said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

[@terriwerning3477]

I can apply every single one of these to my life. Thank you for your super clear teaching and helpful advice. You’re a gem.

[@ascia158]

1.first notice that you are doing it 2.try to see what function it serves for you. 3. take a deep breath, slow down 4. counteract that mental filter by expanding your view. Other suggestions.. Gratitude Sit with complements or success Just hold into complements as you hold negative things Counter negative thoughts by positive thoughts. Practice yourself to see both sides of the story. Take a bigger perspective.. Is this thing would still matter in the 5 next year if not so don't sweat the small stuff.

[@applejuice0134]

Thanks. Thanks.

[@your_mommy_issues_are_show4060]

The glass is refillable.. there's always other options!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

ooh I love that, mental flexibility!

[@ajcristo4679]

The half-glass saying only addresses the glass as-is in that current state. It’s either half-empty or half-full, smartass.

[@k7iq]

The glass is too big ! 😀

[@your_mommy_issues_are_show4060]

@@ajcristo4679 its still refillable in its current state of being rather half full or half empty. You should work on your self worth.

[@pgfinna]

That's a baller aphorism, I'm putting it in my pocket

[@Kathleensophiacitrine888]

The sprinklers & the laugh was just perfect! Talk about anxiety relief right there....laughter!! 🤗

[@frankducett9]

Emma, you are indeed a National treasure. You have helped me , kept me alive, Love ya.

[@Hann1999ah]

I love how you unintended show how you can react to things. The sprinklers go off and instead of getting mad or anxious, you laugh at yourself and seek a dry spot to sit.

[@kimleach7651]

Omg...I'm bad for dwelling on the negative. It seem I can't even remember much good from my childhood.

[@donnabeyer5689]

I hear ya. Solution. Dont look back. There is nothing you can do about it. Dont look ahead worrying you dont have much control over it. Live one day at a time and do what you can do and leave the rest up to God. Like she said a year ago when grieving over a dear friend. We feel pain and sorrow here for awhile but. There is a hereafter. We will be ok.. This earth is not our forever home

[@bookwoman7803]

@@donnabeyer5689 I try to think of it as not living life peering in the teeny rear view mirror, as that's done and gone, but straight ahead, through the big windshield.

[@vtksolid9127]

where were you in my life? wait probably helping someone else, being busy with family life, on the other side of the world, swimming, unavailable.........im gonna try these methods you are truly opening my mind slowly lol with every video!!!

[@antonelladilorenzo1572]

Thank you for this video on mental filtering, I am italian and I live in Italy. I follow your videos because I suffer from OCD and depression since I was 19 and now I am 52. I found this video very helpful for me, have a great day🙂

[@KutayYavuz]

When I am depressed even the world, the sky and the trees I see change. Like they have less color, they are more gray. But when I feel happy even the sunshine or the smells of the leaves feel more solid.

[@libramoon8]

Really motivating. I often get overwhelmed challenging my thoughts. I then take a break because I get to in my head. I will definitely take your advice and keep doing it. Thank you!

[@Hiloboy56]

Emma is a true blessing. Her voice and her demeanor calms me when delivering her valuable messages 🙏🙏♥️

[@elderaarondavis1]

Recently My mind only focuses on the negatives. Even though my life has a lot more positives than the negatives, my mind just can’t help slipping into ruminating the few negatives. It’s so fucking debilitating

[@Theandredamore]

@@user23867 your comment was reassuring. I spend so much time working on reframing my thoughts and other cognitive behavioral therapy oriented exercises. I’ve recently started to wonder “how much longer until this becomes easier?” And that’s what Imm stuck at

[@sw1216]

Love this so much. Very needed in the world today. Expanding world views, a key to gratitude, leads to a fulfilling life. Beautiful. Thank you.

[@AmyElizabethX92]

You always have such good timing, always the right thing I need to hear at the right time :D Thank you for your amazing content!

[@humblepieproduction4202]

This was wonderfully helpful. This has been happening a lot to me over the past month or so. Lots of change around me and my mental filtering seems to randomly kick into high gear some days. Thank you!

[@lamaelcharif1523]

Thank you for all the info you are putting out Emma!

[@kensyskye8965]

I’m trying to get my son to see that everything is open ended....If you look for anything negative enough you’ll find it, even if doesn’t really exist. So using this time to contemplate and focus on yourself is in actuality this time of being slowed down.....A gift! Love your videos so I’m sending this to him! 🙏🏼✌🏻❤️

[@krose5965]

Needed this Thank u 🙏 so much for posting this...especially right in this moment in time

[@Bachconcertos]

Thank u ❣️ I got into a negative mind set watching too much internet crap.

[@nicolehaagenson5253]

You handled that sprinkler situation so gracefully! Way to Plan B with swift recovery. This was helpful to me.

[@poppadan4270]

I am so thankful for this video. Blessed. I needed to be reminded.

[@muirl4617]

Your videos are amazing!! Thank you so much for doing them!

[@passionforhispeace1194]

This was so helpful for me. Thank you so much! Glad I came across your channel. Appreciate the positive outlook you seem to have in so may of your videos. God bless.

[@bedouraly8700]

Thank you so much ...it really helps me listening to you every morning

[@IridescenceStudios]

This is definitely something I've struggled with and still do, to some degree. That quote at the end reminded me of how my boss always had that in her email signature and it really is true. Also I love the fact that you left the sprinkler moment in the video, it brought a much needed chuckle to my day.

[@psrwhite]

Thank you so much Emma. You are so so helpful. I love your relaxed casual approach to your videos. It makes me see that you are just like me and I can relate to you and your honest and unpretentious approach to sharing your knowledge. Thank you!!!

[@stephaniecortez8283]

I’ve been struggling with gastritis & it’s been really taking a toll not on my physical health but my mental health & your videos have helped me more than you know ❤️🥺 thank you so much

[@lisaleikvoll6920]

Thank you so much for your videos. The presentation is always so positive and uplifting! I learn something new each time.

[@Kathleensophiacitrine888]

This is so good, so very helpful. Thank you. 💛

[@amebimus]

thank you for explaining things for everyone to understand and for giving solutions. greetings from Romania

[@helpmedrlee]

I love that you kept the sprinkler incident on here. Added wonderful light-heartedness to this

[@charliem1307]

Commenting so this gets pushed out to more people! Very much needed! Thank you for the amazing Information!❤️

[@mr.mark0738]

Absolutely great video.. helps me a lot with my anxiety and my thoughts.

[@tammyconnor5050]

Thank you so much for sharing these videos 💝

[@camillemccall7705]

You are awesome and truly a blessing to those watching.

[@aprilmccrum7667]

Thank you for this video, this is my biggest challenge with anxiety and depression. I feel like you have explained and helped me more.than my own therapist. Lots of love 🙏💗

[@k7iq]

Excellent as usual ! Love the spontaneous sprinkler part too !

[@mikebisaillon8878]

I appreciate your channel. Helpful content. Thoughtful and genuine delivery. More please.😊

[@shaktibloomyogawithgwen107]

You are a gift! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

[@melodipopham1844]

I find your content so helpful, thank you for your videos.

[@MsSmoore61]

I love your transparency A N D the combination of your knowledge base and delivery. It shows when someone really knows their stuff when things happen that would derail most don't even make you skip a beat. Kudos all around.

[@lawrencehorowitz9291]

Wallow in your brokenness - fabulous phrase to describe depression.

[@ruthann2635]

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, ideas and your beautiful spirit......so uplifting.

[@mforve]

You are really helping me out. Thank you so much wonderful lady!

[@diamondrose3242]

My 8th grade English Class spelling bee word was RIDICULOUS. I was focusing on remembering RIDICU and confidently finished with OUS. I was so, extremely proud until the teacher said I'd forgotten the L. Pointing out my errors infront of a group is a big PTSD & negative mental trigger for me. Searching for a video on his to understand and change my way of thinking, and then finding one of your videos, have lead me to indulged in your playlists and videos. Thank you so much for being you 😊

[@lindsaytransue3642]

Wow. I’m so glad I stumbled upon you! What an excellent video. I look forward to watching many more from you as this one video alone was so profound and effective. Awesome all around!!

[@lamyamohamed-coloryourlife6732]

The time i see you my state automatically shifts to better one ❤️❤️❤️ you are full of positive vibes❤️❤️😘

[@Ginagigi1986]

This is so so true. I can especially relate with the bar exam. Can remember 8-10 very distinct questions I thought I got wrong but couldn’t remember the other 2 days of the exam.

[@candeyer53]

I've been following your for about a week. I'm finding your videos useful. Thank you.

[@YathieshHS]

Thank you so much for making this available on KZbin

[@cynthiamcduffie3500]

Your videos are so helpful. Thank you for sharing them with us.

[@ds5030]

Very interesting perspective. Thank you for this; it gave me a lot to think about. You've got a new subscriber.

[@silmarilasmr6801]

I loved this. This was SO good. I especially love the tips on looking at different periods in history and different peoples to see their difficulties and experiences and be more grateful and appreciative of your own life and situation. Plus the part about filtering the positive experiences of compliments and successes of different degrees was helpful. Its nice to hear confirmation that it is okay to relish those compliments if you have been lucky enough to receive them for whatever reason. Thanks for your work on these vids!

[@sallyoasispaintingsorigina3859]

Thank you so much for this! It’s very, very good advice! I’m going to remember it and apply ! 🏆👍🤗

[@kimberbites]

These are helpful tips. I thank you for the reminder. This has been something I have been slowly implementing in my life for a while. Patience. That's the biggest thing I've learned. Patience w the process, but patience with myself too. I like the word grace now. Giving myself grace.

[@cheyennelang5025]

Thanks so much! Your advice is pretty awesome.

[@malindanorrie7470]

This video, 4 years later, is so incredibly helpful for me, thank you!!

[@graciaissa685]

You are awesome Emma…. Thank you for what you do and how easy you make it sound. 🙏🙏 I am grateful for you!🌹🌹

[@aman42882]

You helped me through my very dark days

[@angeldc54]

You're the best and that hilarious ending made me realize that you shouldn't take life too seriously. Thank you!

[@jitikrda]

You are changing my life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart

[@WishfulThinkingArt]

Your videos really feel like an awesome mental break when I'm in the middle of a storm! :-) They also give me new things to think about and talk to my therapist about! Thanks!!

[@valeriejoylauria8944]

This is an awesome video. I have saved it and plan on watching it every day so I can try to apply this to my life. Thank you for posting these videos.☺️💕

[@joaniemiller4362]

I’m doing your big course and it’s been good. This playlist is helping thanks.

[@rebeccaz6450]

Thank you. I loved and needed this video today.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

So glad!

[@clicksauce]

Great video. Thank you very much

[@jerrynkumu]

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Powerful. Thank you so much for that.

[@TrishLee]

The content is amazing! So informative! Keep up the good work and stay healthy! :)

[@rebeccamendez2691]

ty very much. very much needed. 💜

[@jasond626]

Great video again.. I love your stuff as you give examples, actionable things we can actually do (as apposed to buy my book, program etc to find out how. I like how you kept it real with the sprinklers going off and seeing the funny side of it 👍

[@clairepare3510]

Bless you Emma once again

[@nairasallam231]

OH MY GODDD

[@geriatterbury2602]

Your so good at explaining stuff 💕

[@goingwildagain]

Thank you for your perspectives on life. After many years of helping others be positive through a charity, depression cut me down and knowing some of your points was still a struggle to remain in the positive. I now feel my day won't be another wasted opportunity like so many other days. It's almost like one can have the Jeckle and Hyde inside. You are helping me.

[@marymolbalcorza6969]

thank u so much.. i am now stress free because of you.. May God bless you abudantly for always giving us advices..xoxo

[@susangarrity2735]

I am so thankful for your videos during this extra rough time. My husband made a similar comment this week about us living like kings. Thank you for your time and sharing it with all us strangers on the internet. And your rosemary is stunning.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks :)

[@jeffbarnes54]

Hi Emma, I just want to say that your videos have been helping me so much. I try to watch you every day and I watch many of your videos multiple times. I find your demeanor and voice extremely comforting. Your advice is solid and it always makes me stop and say “she is exactly right! I’m looking through your course catalog and intend on taking some of your classes after the holidays. Thank you so much for what you do your truly helping people. Have a safe and happy new year!

[@chiragpatel3984]

You are doing a great job....thanks.....i find your clarity on working mechanism of the mind is brilliant.....and i like the cracking sound/visual of walnut in your promo...its so simple and meaningful....

[@biggiejeffrey]

Thanks for making these videos. They are helpful when I get stuck on my own negative thoughts and emotions.

[@sammylab7655]

Your videos are really helpful Thanks

[@roroll4492]

Thank you for this.

[@kathysampson826]

I am so,so grateful to you because you have helped me snap out of my depressive state of mind! This video is like the cherry on the cake! Thank you I have put your advise to good use! I am from Argentina so you made me smile!😀

[@donag9422]

Thank you Emma for clarifying the topic in a simple manner with solutions. This will help both in personal and professional life.

[@brianransome1189]

I have listened to several therapist online but you are best you are a natural breaking down everthing so simple plus you look like you genuinely care about peiple putting out all your hard work without asking for anything back. Keep up the good work and may Jehovah bless your sweet soul and family with good health and lengthy days.

[@seedfromatree]

Thank you for this video. I like your voice and the way you explain this. 🙏

[@shonpinto1]

Great content as always ! Thank you

[@dannyboy299]

Emma, your presentation on mental filtering was actually beautiful. So simple and so powerful. Even your voice and persona are soothing and beautiful too. I am struggling so badly right now, heavy mental filtering. Don't know if I will make it...but while listening to you I had a little more hope than I usually do. Thank you Madame.