Don’t Believe Everything You Think: How these 3 Cognitive Distortions make you miserable

[@RafaellaGuevar1]

1. Identify the belief 2. Challenge the belief 3. Replace the belief 4. Practice new behavior 5. Monitor and celebrate progress

[@KatelynnMarie-i4n]

With ice cream

[@AnjaliNair-n6t]

Its quiet interesting how we reject the reality of our situation and expect to be able to observe it , control it and even change it. Thank you , for the amazing content.

[@LeMacMac]

My process for challenging irrational beliefs: what is my need right now that is not being met? how can I meet my need right now? it usually involves me talking about it in order to get in touch with my feelings which lead me to my needs. most of the time it's enough to have a good cry, self hug and honesty with myself. then I'm feeling more calm, almost sleepy and content. then I ask myself again how I think about those irrational beliefs, in that moment they just don't matter anymore. I don't actually need to work on my cognition patterns directly if I work on my emotions and fulfil my needs as best I can. The irrational beliefs change themselves.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yeah, that's a good point. For some people, to engage in a struggle with their thoughts is much less helpful than to focus on what they DO want in their life, for other people- being aware that a thought isn't necessarily truthful helps them disengage from it and focus on what they DO want with their life.

[@Rodrigos.godoy86]

I notice that if we're well it's easy to practice all this tips, to me it comes naturally, but if i am down emotionally i easily slip into judgment, anger, self criticism and all that.

[@practice4089]

How to end worry for good: if you are dwelling on an issue and not problem solving that issue, you are worrying. stop dwelling on it until you have other problem solving solutions in mind. once those are exhausted, stop dwelling on it so you don't start worrying again. I've been doing this for some time and it works every time IF you are mindful (you have to catch yourself). Worry is not some natural human trait we are all doomed to exercise

[@alainahart4350]

I've been watching your videos for over two years now. Today I felt like I finally made this breakthrough with setting a boundary (nearly ten years in the making) and it felt so empowering and I even feel less blockage in my throat chakra because of it. I got on to youtube today specifically to come on and tell you thank you. Thank you for making this information accessible. Your videos taught me so much and I even got the point where I was able to afford a therapist and get 1-on-1 therapy. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate your work and what you do here. By setting boundaries I am finally feeling like I have a voice and it feels strong.

[@funnybookworm]

I had a therapist call this “should-ing” like “stop should-ing on yourself”

[@EnviroArtiste86]

i had a huge aha moment thinking about why i am a perfectionist. and it all started when i was bullied really bad as a kid. i realize i am only perfectionistic about things that people gave me criticism on. i have to change my belief that everything i do isn't life or death and take some of the pressure off myself. then i wouldn't freak out when everything falls apart. to this day at work everything has to be perfect because an old manager who i don't work with anymore got angry at me on my 3rd day of work that something wasn't done. 5 years later i feel like it is my responsibility and my responsibility alone that everything is done. when it's not even my responsibility to begin with.

[@feliciasuris2381]

Thank you so much for your videos! My new therapist and you have helped me so much in such little time. I've learned so much on self acceptance and awareness and that most of my pain was self caused. My whole life I was pretty much negative and gave up easy. As a new mom I finally decided to stop being the victim and get stronger. I watch a video from you everyday to learn and keep myself headed towards healing. My black and white thinking is very strong, just today almost went crazy over diet choices and reminded myself and with help that life is about balance and its not all one way or the other ❤

[@feliciasuris2381]

Do you take video requests?

[@vj12343]

I disagree when it comes to purely transactional relationships like work. It’s important to recognize you’re not being treated fairly by being denied a raise/promotion when you’ve proven you’re worth it. That’s when you know it’s time to move on and bring better things into your life.

[@coimbralaw]

There’s a level of narcissistic grandiosity in your expectation. It only proves the video more correct than it was before I read your inane comment.

[@vj12343]

@@coimbralaw what the f are you babbling on about

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment

[@johnlegend8359]

Psychedelics have potential to deal with mental health issues like anxiety and depression. I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here

[@lewiswalker1540]

@@johnlegend8359 I was having this constant unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I can across dr_william_tripsz a very intelligent mycologist, he saves my life

[@homeboyz3558]

The trip I have been having had really helped me a lot, I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane To me now seems incredible and full of nuance on top of that I am less driven by ego and I have a lot more empathy as well

[@Thomas-446]

I am feeling the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affect my stress and anxiety level. I am also glad to be a member of this community

[@stephanie290]

Tripping is not a bad idea but having a good competent mycologist Who will guide you on the dosage is very important

[@bignugg557]

I think you’ve cured my depression.

[@stemconceptsin1min683]

Hi Emma, first I want to thank you for your work, it really is a huge help for a lot of people! Regarding the subject on this video: I have been seeing a therapist for the last year mainly working on anxiety due to the first “must”. I have come a looong way and I feel very different already and much happier. However I have noticed that I struggle when I’m with some else and they start “venting” or complaining using sentences of some of these “musts”. As a HSP I absorb that negativity easily and I find myself questioning those believes (the ones other people mention) but I didn’t even have them in the first place! I hope I have been clear enough… since the last video was about HSP I thought you could do a video about how to deal with other peoples’s negativity (venting, complaining, etc) and not get dragged into it… thank you very much and keep up the work it’s really really good!!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll add it to my list

[@KarlWitsman]

Your videos are a concise way of explaining a complex topic. I used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in my own counseling practice and in my own life. I've never been happier, as it helped me to overcome some OCD issues that I had as a young person. Probably why I went into psychology in the first place. For those who need more info, Albert Ellis's Guide to Rational Living is excellent, even if it can be a little difficult to read at first.

[@sixtoomanycats9769]

The universe sent this video to me today, just as I was hanging up with my therapist. We had just been talking about this subject. Thank you for your videos, I have shared your channel with my therapist and your videos help me through in between sessions with her.

[@Sbmhdk]

The only thing I have found with this technique is that it doesn’t help a person attune to themselves emotionally or meet their needs. Usually after I’ve validated, seen, and understood myself, I naturally reconsider my belief and let go of the angry thought. I don’t need it anymore. So I prefer to use NVC and use the belief to interpret my feelings and needs. For example, with the angry driver example, wow I’m feeling frustration. I’m having a need for ease. It’s sounds sorta empty I know, but when that’s what’s going on with me, that’s my truth, and I name it, I feel seen and so much relief. And I feel softness for myself.

[@HeyTripleJ]

You’ve got some angels looking out for you friend!!!❤❤❤❤❤ wow love when these things happen! No coincidences 😅

[@user-vv7ds4tf7x]

Thank you very much for this. It's hard for me to really feel and be true to myself. Stressed, depressed, helpless, I end up being rebellious. I'll do this home work and will make time for myself. 🙏May God continue to bountifully bless you and this ministry of psychological support to all humanity.❤️

[@CaesarinaMPaul]

You are so generous. Thank you.

[@brendakrieger7000]

I'm learning to be more Stoic and care less about things.

[@sunkissed6220]

This channel is a life saver ❤️🙏

[@bellesandwith3775]

This is the best 15 minutes of my life. It rocked my world. I was fixated on Life being fair. It helped me accept the malpractice I suffered. I released soooo much.

[@davebanner8666]

Thank you!!! Keep helping a hurting world. God Bless you and your family

[@SpookyRuby280]

I have a request that might be strange. Can you do a video on how to be ok with being ok? I grew up in a very chaotic environment, and now that I've moved out of my childhood home, I'm in a healthy, calm environment. The problem is I've spent over half my life being pushed to my physical and emotional limit. I don't know how to be calm or "normal" I experience anxiety when my mind isn't being occupied, I feel lonely even around others. I only feel "normal" or like myself when something stressful happens. This is taking a toll on my physical health. I feel a large amount of guilt for resting or taking time for myself. Just something to consider because I don't see a lot of people talk about this, and I'm trying to navigate this with very little guidance. I've watched a lot of your videos and they have helped me to an extent but I just want to be OK with being OK. Would I need to focus on moving past trauma? I don't really view anything that happened to me as being particularly traumatic. Just stressful. Thank you for any advice you have or taking the time to read this.

[@viviave8]

I can totally relate to this, I think about this a lot. Within the past few months I finally realized that when I think I'm bored and I try to distract myself, I was actually preventing myself from experiencing peace and stillness of Being which is like a rest more restful than actual sleep. And as soon as I allowed my mind to stop searching for stimulation or whatever I thought I needed to be productive or entertained, that's when Life gave me the gift of an eventful but joyful schedule, a new job, and the beginnings of long term dream fulfillment. Now that I know how to accept Peace I can also learn how to live with the flow of a swift river... but this time in a healthy way with balance and self care at heart. Not because it's a default that I put up because I'm afraid of idleness or I can't handle the calm and beautiful silence of freedom. That's what it feels like when you're flying above the fray. It's a perfect jumping off point for trying to build a new foundation, a new you inside. Or it can help lead you to your path or purpose. It's probably different for everyone and I'm sure it will always be an ongoing theme but I believe it can be faced creatively and sorted out. It may feel empty at first but that space is needed for healing and growth. ❤

[@sunnelyons394]

i relate to this so much.

[@dbkids123]

​@@viviave8Thank you for helping the other person!❤❤

[@marionjohnson8596]

You do a great job Emma, you’re helping a lot of people.

[@CondaCorneri]

I misread the title and got to work immediately.

[@angelahull9064]

Rationality helps a great deal to break patterns of behavior and thoughts that are hurting you. But it does not fix everything. You cannot fix your automatic flight or fight response, but you can train to behave differently in response to it, instead of internalizing and somatizing those stressors. You cannot think your way out of any neuroatypical conditions, but you can learn how to adapt to stressors to be able to function and thrive in spite of them. The sensory systems, limbic system, parasympathetic system, neurological development, and higher cognitive processing need to heal from damage caused by real trauma and relearn how to respond to stressors in more helpful, adaptive ways.

[@richardali8817]

That thumbnail just killed me 😂

[@JoyLuxeHieroTarot]

Yes, love it! 😁😁

[@luisapaza317]

The word is wild! 😂

[@chloegower1584]

Totally made me giggle

[@astonishingmelanie]

Wording it that way will definitely help people remember the concept. Good idea!

[@nayacarson6989]

Must-erbate

[@LALew850]

Thank you. This is a good lesson. It reminded me of a day I was driving way too fast in traffic. My first child, still an infant had a very high fever. As a new parent I was panicked and rushing to the doctor. Someone took offense and drove very slowly so I couldn’t pass. We did get to the dr my child was helped and I learned how to deal with fevers. And for 37 years now, when I see a rushing driver riding my backside I try to get out of their way as quickly as possible. It just might be an emergency.

[@chloewitmondt6486]

This is powerfully helpful, accessible, and practical. I noticed that each “must” aligned with meeting needs in a social, emotional, and physical level. We must be accepted (social), we must be treated fairly (emotional), we must get what we want (physical). It seems like these cognitive “musts” are a deep desire to be SAFE on a social, physical, and emotional level.

[@EquineBallet]

“Musterbate” thank you for coing something that helps the world make more sense! Your videos have helped me and so many others.

[@TonyaA7]

Thank you Mrs.Emma for sharing this. It all makes since..

[@caoimheferry1422]

2 of your videos in and jeekers you have hit the nail on the head for my issues that years of therapy couldn't get me to. Wow 👏👏👏

[@YeeWhoEnterHere]

I get angry with myself, especially if I don't get a task completed. I don't throw a big tantrum, but I get in a real funk afterwards which does not help me at all. I find it hard to rationalise and up-cycle my mood back again. It's like from the tiny bit of I'll feeling I have huge emotional depressive hang over. I'm determined to fix this as much as I can but it's hard.

[@mocajrx1047]

I’m going through all of the must thoughts over an interpersonal interaction right now. I even spent an entire depressive day in bed this week. I really needed to hear this today!

[@Patterner]

i never expected everybody to "treat me fairly and kindly" but the experience was "never"

[@anandsharma7430]

7:50 is the secret to recovery. The secret to recovering from anxiety disorders is to repeat one word 1000 times throughout the day: "Lies!"

[@Victoria_Loves_Jesus]

unless you've been lied to tens of thousands of times and saying the word "lies" will just trigger you further 💀

[@pamelasnopek1275]

I was just coming here to type the same thing!

[@lavanyanarasimhan467]

Great job. Thanks! Such precious gems makes KZbin worthy to watch and listen 👏🏼🙏🏼

[@bertholdsanchez3864]

Getting mad gives you a surge of energy. That can be of help sometimes.

[@thecitizenjoan]

Life changing Information! God Bless you these are hard truths everyone needs to accept including myself. I think the reason many of us suffer with these subconscious beliefs is because many of us were taught these musts in Western Culture through movies and television even in school and from our parents. When I go back watch some of the old Disney and Nickelodeon shows I loved growing up so many of the characters are written as spoiled little Narcissists and many people like myself were babysat by the television and subconsciously absorbed these traits of fictitious characters that don’t operate in the real world. So again Thank You for sharing this!

[@dianndp4957]

Today i was feeling angry and irritated and when I wrote down three reasons I felt that way I identified that it was one for each of 'Must' listed in this video. 3 out of 3 😅. Thank you for this video, it helped me change my thoughts and behaviour 🤗

[@dkpretorius]

Good job keeping it real, and light by adding humour and sarcasm. It's so helpful, breaks off the "edge" of serious matters. Also, I appreciated the examples given, it switches on a lightbulb. You be blessed too 👍🏻

[@KnittingPasta]

Here's the thing: There are things in the world that SHOULD NOT BE, such as tyranny, abuse, theft, murder, etc. I don't think it's entitled behavior to be angry at those things. So are you also explaining how to function in a world where evil things are happening outside our control?

[@philrussell5258]

Great vid. You have a really positive, passionate vibe and this is so insightful. I definitely will be recommending you to others.

[@ankahmc]

I love you and your videos! However i "must" ;) say that the examples of people "throwing a fit" because they dont get a promotion after having worked years in their company... kind of threw me off a bit. It's 2 different things for me, between throwing a fit and being the victim of a system that exploits people, employees, and the poor in order the maintain the people with power, and the rich, in their respectful positions. Yes I guess i'm talking politics, but its seems appropriate. I know this is a psychological approach that you're proposing, in how to deal with these situations. But again, I just thought the example was no the best, if not a little clums,y for people who -one could argue legitimately- feel like they're being exploited by they managers and boss. I dont see that as a fit, at all. That being said however, you are by far my favorite KZbin therapist :) Thank you for helping me and my fellow humans out there ❤

[@laridion7901]

8:00 is the steps to changing these 3 belief systems!

[@dabbler1166]

I don't agree with this. I also think some of the researchers must be wrong. To start with other people DO "make" us angry. Because what they do, is either something we like, or don't like. I can hear it now. It'll be said that those angry thoughts are what we do to ourselves. That's BS. For TWO reasons: 1. It ignores natural reactions. If 95 out of 100 people react the same way to something, that's what people do. It's a natural reaction. Will you tell them to be like the other 5% ? Chances are, they'd "wonder about" those 5% and may consider them: cold heartless apathetic possibly sociopathic 2. This, i believe all goes back to Albert Ellis and his "Rational-Emotive therapy" and his book: A New Guide to Rational Living. (so he says). He, also, talked about "MUSTurbating", just don't let it bother you, etc. etc. But that is Basically just preaching STOICISM (from a Philosophy 101 class) disguised as Psychology. No emotion. Don't react. "Face" everything. Like the greek Stoics. It might sound good, but it's unrealistic. Who can really live that way? It might be possible if you have health and piles of money already to buy your way out of problems, like a best-selling author. But most of us aren't that fortunate. We are back to suppression again. Some folks may even appear to succeed. They may not show any frustration. (They just get physically sick, later). The Stoics may have appeared strong, serious, unmoved -- but they probably smiled and laughed very little. I could rest-my-case right here. But-- We also hear, all-the-time: Its not what happens to you, its how you react to it. MORE BS. People buy it simply because they hear it repeated so much. Funny how no one tells you that when you get bitten by a Dog. It DOES bother you. and you DO react. "DAMMIT!", people say. Naturally. Rightfully so. Are you seriously going to tell that person: Suck it up! You don't have to react that way..? (but everybody Will!). If you say someone wouldn't, the rest of us would probably "wonder about" that person. Unrealistic. Or--go outside and have two teenagers throw rocks at you. When you get hit, remind yourself that "its all how YOU react to it", not what they're doing. No realistic person would believe that. Yes, that's an extreme example but so what? Are you going to apply and follow that advice, or not? Stoicism isn't the answer. Suppression isn't healthy. Neither is "non-reacting" or ignoring your feelings. It's funny again: when things are going WELL, we tell folks: "Don't keep it all bottled up. Express your feelings". But then when things go BAD, we tell them: "Don't freak out. You dont have to let this bother you." Imagine dating a Stoic man. You might feel "safe" with such a "strong" guy, who doesn't get "ruffled" but he'd probably be too serious-all-around, not smile much, be a lousy conversationalist and be sorta...dull. People want more Joy.

[@Smoke_DMT]

Thank you, I don't have money for Dr. visits currently and this may have saved my Life.

[@pretty1901]

Amazing content Emma, this is a treasure for a lot of people like me struggling with our emotional functioning and mental health.

[@Chloe-w7n]

Road safety is important, and i do loathe people who drive recklessly. But agree, trivial things like driving slow or not being quick with the green lights is no big deal. I've been beeped at because I'm 2kms under speed limit...geez. Love this video...thankyou, its very helpful.

[@MrNatetimm]

You were very comedic today 😂 love it. Also thank you for always providing us with consistent, informative, and comforting content 🙏🏽

[@crumbtember]

I see your point about a lot of this, but I do think it's a bit insensitive to conflate people's experience with economic exploitation as throwing a tantrum, same goes for all social ills. I think it's important to acknowledge the flawed system and work to change those things in addition to trying ones best to live life.

[@elizabethgrant9833]

My husband is the “frustrated driver” type. But, on more than 1 occasion, we called the police right on the spot! And in 1 instance, we saw that the police were able to stop the driver, just by our call! How cool was that. ( it was a very unsafe, erratic driver, not just little faults).

[@ladymcdonald12]

I have been in a funk lately. I really needed this. Thank you.

[@imagine-sg6kr]

Omg she's soo good at this just watching this makes me feel better

[@NarcatasCor]

2:48 My problem with combating this is that I know that there are people out there who instead of saying to themselves "Life is okay, even though I don't have what I want right now", go out and actively and successfully push themselves to achieve what they want. And that is very stressful, at least for me, but the alternative of adapting like I understand it as the advice in the video sounds kind of weakish to me, so that can't be the solution neither (for me). I also don't mean small things by things I want to achieve in life, I mean something like finding a romantic partner you actually feel very attracted to (which should be natural but I find is not to some people and I don't want to be in a relationship where there is not so much attraction, physically and emotionally). That's an ideal and its stressful to think about not being able to experience this in my life, like its the point of the video, but I don't get how its okay to just say "Its fine" when there are other people who just work on themselves or have a lot of self esteem in general and "just" crush it I suppose.

[@adamlewis3729]

I don't get mad at bad drivers because of some selfish need to get somewhere faster, I just hate general inconsideration and dangerous drivers. It's not about me personally.

[@positivitysuccessvideos]

You're obviously a compassionate person who cares. The way you rolled your eyes when telling the story of the patient who had the audacity of thinking hungry people should get fed regardless of being able to afford food was pretty condescending. The FED pumped tens of trillions of dollars into the top 1% of the economy in the last two years alone basically free money for the rich which caused poor people to pay more for everything like rent and food. Also, there's enough for everyone to have our human rights secured in the wealthiest nation in the world and on this planet, its only greed that causes people to go hungry or die because of America's healthcare for corporate profit system. But I do love the helpful videos you share about regulating one's emotions. They're very helpful to use while facing eviction for example.

[@johnturner5864]

Thank Emma! Your amazing!

[@MarionMakarewicz]

Emma. Thank you for your videos. So reasonable, so hopeful. I do find that I have to take them in small doses and not binge watch as going through the back catalog can be a bit overwhelming.

[@cassieoz1702]

ON THE 'life should be fair' issue, my mother used to say "check it's not about you being RIGHT. Being RIGHT isnt all it's cracked up to be. You can have right-of-way and still be dead". St Peter doesnt care if you were right😉

[@WASDLeftClick]

Being right aka intelligent felt like the only thing I had left to define myself.

[@cassieoz1702]

@@WASDLeftClick even the most intelligent folks aren't right all the time. Pursuing 'right' in disputes/conflicts can push other folks away.

[@simco7473]

I realised this recently, it was my irrational internal "private speech" that might make me feel negative emotions. Keeping an eye of what thoughts land is the key. Being the air traffic controller.

[@darrinsiberia]

I recently moved back to my mom's suburban town. And I disagree. External forces, ie other people CAN affect your anxiety. I try to drive calmly. Everyone there drives in a rush! I can literally "feel" the stress up my neck when someone behind me drives up quickly and tailgates me and I can sense their desire to hurry and race around. They often drive around me and zoom up to the next red light. Of course I can control how I react to those people. I can take a deep breathe and choose not to engage in their energy. However when you live in a town and this kind of energy exchange is constantly happening, it is super draining! So I tend to disagree. Environment is important. There is a reason for example, candidates for priesthood don't train in a shopping mall. There is a reason why an Olympian swimmer doesn't train in a public pool on Saturday morning when all the kids in floaties use the pool.

[@leowalia2263]

thanks Emma.....you are a blessing for community.......

[@jdt8983]

These things take care of themselves somewhat once your mental health is well handled because if you get rejected you care less and that also in turn makes you less likely to get rejected etc. But I appreciate the feedback of rejection because sometimes it mirrors that whatever I tweaked for myself maybe didn't work (say a supplement that increased my anxiety), and the reflection is there. Of course that's not necessarily an accurate way to judge things on a regular basis, but it can work as confirmation sometimes. Unfortunately it can be difficult to know ourselves sometimes

[@tracygarcia6406]

Wow, thank you Emma! There were some things i never thought about.... And they were so helpful!

[@marina1463]

Sometimes people stop doing wrong things only when other react and point them that that is wrong. Ignoring problems you witness and ignoring your own feelings isnt the best way for dealing with both

[@ShreyafromIndia]

Hey Emma, I realize I have all three.. Being aware of this will help me.

[@prsee5969]

Mental health is very important… but I tend to flip the script and think I’m always in the wrong, which MOST of the time I’m not in the wrong at all I’m right I just convince myself I’m not. Just an idiot. Well bad inner monologue. Thanks for the help I picked up on your video I appreciate it.

[@theologytherapist]

This is such an insightful video and thank you for sharing this information! Learning how to recognize your own patterns takes time to do, & it's important to note them down so that brainstorming ways to self-regulate and change previously set patterns can take just as much time to do as well! There is no "one-size-fits-all" option and it's all a non-linear process. ❤

[@hughtempleton8640]

Thank you so much for sharing these amazing videos . ❤

[@stephlovesanimals]

Wow, this really really spoke to me. I definitely have some must issues.

[@celinetix6831]

''i need everyone to approve of me all the time or else im bad , i have to perform perfectly to be accepted '' This is me the slightest mistake i make makes me so anxious at Ork abd depressed especially when other colleagues give me remarks abt my work or things i already know but somehow i didnt do i feel stupid and incompetent and that everyone talks abt me being non competant

[@jagoda6473]

Thank you for this video ❤

[@Jazz-q1x]

Thank God. Don't get angry

[@mmioknet]

Will you please direct me to a link on how to deal with grief. My roommate who I developed feelings for passed away in April 2021 while she was away in Ohio and 4 days before she was to come home. I didn't realize until the first week that she was gone that those feelings were love. Her body was brought back to Florida for a Christian burial and I've been to the cemetery everyday only missing a day here and there. I realize that this is not healthy yet I go there to be near her. I think about her every minute that I'm awake. My heart is 💔. Meeting her and having her in my everyday life helped me out of depression brought on by a divorce after a 33 year relationship.

[@chillycheeks5318]

Love your work Emma. Thanks ❤

[@zzc8505]

those "musts" are major strawmen --- flagrantly oversimplified thoughts people may be having. Perhaps, there are ppl who think that way, but the majority of people who are stressed/depressed/angry are so for real, objective reasons, not because of that infantile strawmen thinking. To tell someone that it's all in their own head (i.e., it's their "wrong" thinking that's to blame for their stress/depression/angery) is another example of gaslighting. Sure, convince people to turn onto themselves and feel it's their "thoughts" and not real life stressors, not a nasty boss, not a situation of injustice, not a real life challenge, no, it's all in their heads. Gaslighting at its finest.

[@Liankirry]

No, it's not gaslighting. Many people are in the exact same or even worse situations without developing anxiety and depression. It's not the situations we're in that's the determining factor, but the meaning we give to it. And thinking the situations we're in cause our emotions make us helpless victims to the circumstances we can't change. That's not helpful.

[@zzc8505]

@@Liankirry how other people may or may not react to certain situation has absolutely no relation to whether certain situations/events are gaslighting or not. Some ppl are more susceptible to various forms of psychological manipulation than others; that does not change the nature/essence of psychological manipulation. You sound like you, yourself, have been quite influenced by all sorts of postmodern pop-psych nonsense and that's why you are oversimplifying it yourself by repeating a pop. platitude 'it's not the situations that are determining factor etc." --- the situations are a huge factor, go tell that to the millions of abuse victims who exhibit the same array of symptoms and dysfunctional behaviour. Moreover, there is nothing about "situations being determining factors" in my comment. In fact, my comment objects to the oversimplification of the issue. So, what exactly you are replying to I don't know, but it's definitely not what is in my comment.

[@teknophyle1]

sometimes I wonder if I learned many of my "cognitive distortions" in church. I know you're religious but you're also very rational so I'm curious what your take is on that.

[@MiArtStuff]

Thank you for working with the Universe, your message found me today just as I needed a reminder.

[@kimberliesiegel6221]

Amazing video! Very clear!❤

[@MattThornton-og4xo]

Love this. Thank you. Well I wish I could say no thank you but you know me. At times I am exactly like your description at times. I need to think and try to be more helpful

[@chantellemoller953]

Hi Emma id like to ask if you could do a video on postpartum depression. I really struggled with depression during and after my pregnancy. Of course there were a lot of external factors that played a role but after giving birth to my baby the depression has become a lot harder to manage, more often than not I'm left feeling drained and guilty that I'm not able to give a 100% of myself to my baby. Thank you for the work that you do, you've really helped me get through a lot💕💞

[@antidepressant11]

How dare you! Are you saying some of my thinking is flawed?

[@phyllidaacworth5212]

I think if myself as having fair play as a core value and that other people step on it when they drive rudely by, for example, tailgating other cars to get them to pull in. I find I feel offended when others don't hold themselves up to the standards I hold myself to, as if they even know what those are or should care if they do know. Another instance in the past was working for someone who had no integrity. I used to go on and on about it when my energy would have been better spent on my own work. It just wasn't fair that no-one did anything about this colleague. This video has helped me see how common these cognitive distortions are and what to do about them.

[@nileshmamidwar5054]

Thanks!

[@themorningflightinindonesi3558]

Thanks for teaching us, it was simply an awesome lesson.

[@edgarmorales4476]

Our consciousness is the fabric out of which we make our lives. Our consciousness is the ground of our every response to every single thing which happens in our mental, emotional and physical lives. Our consciousness is our reality. This statement may be expressed in 2 ways, both of which are the truth of existence. Our consciousness creates our reality, irrespective of what the actual facts of our earthly lives may be. When people believed the earth was flat, they were afraid to venture too far over the ocean lest the ship would fall over the edge. People who believed in a flat earth, lived according to that belief. When Galileo said the earth was round, he was considered a heretic but his perception of the "roundness of the earth" enabled sailors to take a new look at the world and set out to discover what lay the other side of the ocean. It required a change in their belief to make this possible. We are in a similar position. People who discount and ridicule others are like people who believed in a flat earth and were afraid of falling over the edge if they sailed too far to the west or east of their known environment. Their horizons were severely limited by their false beliefs. So are the horizons of people who believe the world to be solid, also severely restricted. Day after day, people lament and grieve over the misfortunes which have befallen the world, believing there is no escape from them. But people who can grasp and welcome the Truth of Consciousness, are like those who perceived that travel on the oceans can be limitlessly undertaken in all directions, as long as they had the will to set out on such a journey. Therefore, our state of consciousness is the most important consideration in our lives-not our relationships or possessions or our position in life. We must tend to our consciousness and the blessedness in all aspects of our lives will follow. ​ By our consciousness we feed ourselves with inner love and harmony, joy and beauty, even in the backstreets of a slum. With such consciousness, we will find ourselves being removed from the streets of the slum into an environment in keeping with our Godness. So do we climb out of unpleasant circumstances. From the foregoing, you should now be able to see that only we create the "quality" of our internal world, whether we find ourselves externally in prison or in command of a battleship! ​And we can enhance our surroundings by radiating to them the life force which animates our thinking. Our external lives only impinges on our consciousness. It does not-cannot-create or determine our conscious responses. We are the "creator" of our responses. Our type of creation depends entirely on our deepest perceptions and beliefs regarding existence. Our convictions and strongly-held beliefs may be completely illusory but if we fully believe in them in our subconscious, they become absolutely real for us.

[@jessikapiche6097]

Morning little ritual that need no religion belief to realize. Stand in front of the mirror and say; - I am not perfect, my parents are not perfect, my friends are not perfect and obviously NOBODY IS. - Nobody could give me what he/she didn't received. (Especialy if your parents were far from perfect...your parent may have never showed you much love, but ask yourself ; Did they ever received love themselves?...this little sentence can liberate you deeply...the power of forgiveness...) - I strive not to be the best, but to improve myself. Others have flaws that i will never suspect... (don't compare yourself to others, stop being so competitive it takes the joy out of everything...) - I can have a bad day...and others can have them TOO!... - Friendship is a gift i give freely. I cannot expect it back. But if i receive this gift, i should treasure it as much as i would like mine to be treasured. - If i can't help but judge people around me, i shouldn't be surprise if i am also judge the same... Give a chance and a smile to EVERYONE. - I am stronger than i think, smarter than i was yesterday, important in the life of everyone around me (because i bring them joy, fun, friendship, understanding, a simple smile, etc...) - Even if today sucks big time, tomorrow always have the potential to SURPRISE ME with something GREAT! (NEVER GIVE UP...tomorrow they can find the cure...) - The entire universe have come to the conclusion i needed to exist; I owe it to myself to at least TRY... - Even when i fail today... I will have learned how NOT to do it. ...and the last one i find so funny... - I can change, if i want to, i guess... ;)

[@percubit10]

I am very anxious all the time I feel helpless all the time.

[@anonymous-h1w]

Binge watching your videos you are a blessing love & light from India 💘

[@fatimabruh]

i love the thumbnail so much

[@MiZShortiiE]

I love how educational your videos are ❤ thank you!

[@denissepohlsperez2348]

Thank you. Your videos have helped me a lot ❤

[@danniellejohnson448]

Everything I worry about never comes to pass. It's like I write a script in my mind about certain scenarios and what if's not definitive and run on it like it's tthe full truth when it wasn't

[@slobodanudarac5]

Very helpful, Emma. Thanks!

[@joseph8468]

McAdam, you are a marvel. Thank you for posting this lesson.

[@allthingsbloggy]

I was going through account to look for a video like this 😭 what perfect timing 🤍

[@Smoke_DMT]

Needed this

[@saltiestsiren]

Should statements are one of my biggest problems. When I try to instead focus on the costs and benefits of the action behind the should statement, I fail to come up with benefits I care about-I only come up with benefits I SHOULD care about. Lol for real. For example, "I should brush my teeth." Well what's a benefit of brushing my teeth? "I'll keep my teeth healthy for life. I'll have fresh breath." But I feel so apathetic toward these things. Or I rationalize them out of my mind. "Well I don't care about the future anyway, I'll probably be dead by 40 anyway." "If I have bad breath at least people will stay away from me." Ugh. The way these techniques don't work on me make me feel so broken.

[@anotherealm47]

Thank you for this.

[@mern212]

Loved this video! Really funny way to present solutions 🎉