First Time Hearing My Heart Is Broken by Evanescence | Suicide Survivor Reacts

If you, like most of us, never had Happiness 101 in school, let me be your teacher! Learn the EXACT steps I took in overcoming clinical depression, addiction, self harm and going from ready to end it all to happier than I thought possible. amandawebsterhealth.com/happi...
I have a special project in the works that will change the mental health world. Patreon pledges will be going toward that (and ongoing projects.) Patreons get priority video requests, twice a month Zoom calls, personalized pictures, exclusive reactions, a peak at upcoming reactions and SO much more. EVERY SINGLE DIME GOES TOWARD MY MENTAL HEALTH OUTREACH!!!!!
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Thank you to Ofer, my amazing Patreon, for requesting this song. Amy Lee and Evanescence are always such a treat to listen to. She is the definition of female powerhouse. This is my reaction to my first time hearing My Heart Is Broken. There's another level of emotion for sure.
Follow me on IG: @mentalamanda
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Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
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[@MentalAmanda]

💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

[@jakesmith6233]

I have to share the new Metallica song out now. I'm excited about Metallica having a new album out. Metallica: Lux Æterna (Official Music Video) / Metallica kzbin.info/www/bejne/laaQaKWNgNOJjNE

[@marinedude_06]

If I could shed tears I would, between your words and that song. I can't shed tears physically since my wreck. Of all of the videos that I've seen of yours this one touched me the most. In 2008 I was in a bad car wreck that put in a comma for 3 weeks. I was in the Marine Corps at the time and returning to base from my great grandma's funeral. Apparently I was intoxicated (but no charges as I was below the legal limit). I have no memory of the funeral or the Corvette that I had bought around a month prior. I also had no memory of the girl I was dating at the time. We'd only been dating a short time. But I refell in love with her and yeah that's a long story that I doubt you're interested in. Anywho I'll never drive again, I talk funny and my balance is still off. I've been in a depression ever since my injury and I feel useless. I can't work, as said my balance is off and I can only run for a short distance before I become exhausted. It takes effort for me to speak and be understood because there is a gap in my vocal cords due to me pulling my feeding tube in and while I was in a comma. Still can't believe it was that long ago. The flow of time for me isn't the way it's supposed to be. Anywho I'll wrap this up, I feel that I am wasting your time.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@marinedude_06 You're never wasting my time. Thank you for sharing.

[@marinedude_06]

@@MentalAmanda ♥️

[@cracked_walnut]

@Steve Bradley I'm a stranger, but I found your story to be... having trouble putting it into one sentence. On the one hand, the tale you tell is tragic enough. On the other hand, that very truth underscores your strength. Reading that you struggle to speak, in such a clearly, concisely written YT comment, something came to mind. I've loved people who've undergone brain damage that altered their ability to communicate face-to-face, but this did not affect their ability to relate to other people. In fact, the trend appears to be that they come to see and hear more than most of us with our so-called "full faculties". I get the subtle impression you have a mind and a heart that have, over the past 14 years, become honed in the way a blind man's sensation of touch becomes more specialized over time. Are you familiar with Vic Chesnutt?

[@jeffstevens4262]

This song was written to highlight the emotional trauma of a young woman who has been the victim of sex-trafficking. Amy Lee is the most incredible singer/songwriter/performer/storyteller. She never lets us down, all those who love her and her music, not just here in the UK but around the world. God bless her.

[@T.N.S.A.F.]

It is not about any one person.Amy Lee was just inspired to write the song from being involved in the cause. She was just putting her self in that position and how it would affect her.

[@ronaldmorgan7632]

This song, and "Lost in Paradise" from the same album (video with band) are among my favorites. No singer conveys emotion in such a way as she does.

[@Palindrome78]

Lost In Paradise...that song punched me in the heart! So many great lines in that song.

[@Brian-wq3qh]

The song is actually inspired by victims of human sex trafficking. That said the beauty of music is that it can mean whatever you want it to. I watched them live 2 weeks ago, she us just as good live 😁

[@williamking2249]

Hi Amanda, Amy Lee wrote a song called Hello. She wrote the song about her dealing with the loss of her sister when they were both young. It is on their Fallen album. I would like to hear your thoughts on that one as well.

[@Blackmjc]

Like You is also about her sister and wanting to be with her. The ballad on their new album is about her brother who passed a handful of years ago too. She's dealt with a lot.

[@briansgamesandanime]

I believe you'll really love "Secret Door" by Evanescence. It's off of their Synthesis album. It's about being able to unlock that door in your mind and take you back to the place where you were happy. Also, "Lost In Paradise" off their self titled album is really good. Both of these are probably my favorite songs by them

[@mirekhalek2948]

The original version of "Secret Door" is written for the "Evanescence". Synthesis is the second version.

[@jamesvargas8698]

For Secret Door, better react to the original version. It has more impact to me and it definitely takes me always to another world.

[@briansgamesandanime]

@@jamesvargas8698 thanks I just looked for it on KZbin. I found a lyric video from 10 years ago. It definitely has a more ethereal feel to it.

[@ChristopherLee-pd2uo]

I I am I am broken beyond repair beyond redemption beyond hope I am broken I am I To everyone who feels hopeless or lost. There is hope, you are not alone, DO NOT GIVE UP!

[@ofero5437]

A perfect reaction to an amazing song! From my perspective this is a song about grief, maybe because that's the main emotion behind my struggles. Yearning for the end of struggle - "sweet sleep, my dark angle"... Yet knowing that this is the easy way out, a way to escape the struggle instead of finding the strength to hold on. For me this strength is derived from realizing that giving up will end the pain for myself but will hurt my loved ones. In other words an end of struggle for myself will cause pain and turmoil for the people that matter to me more that anything else. And so I'm still here to fight another day. This song makes me feel that I'm not alone in this struggle, even though it is so dark, sad and expressing so much pain that is hard to cope with. Thank you Amanda for reacting to this song, thank you Amy Lee for sharing your pain with us and making people like me who feel broken inside know that we're not alone.

[@bgbuilds2712]

Amy is a once in a generation singer. Point blank. This song would be easily in the top 5 of her entire music career.

[@MRxMADHATTER]

Amy Lee always conveys the strongest emotions. And she has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen.

[@marcusm9507]

Resonates. I was probably 10 or 11 when I started telling myself "I am defective" which quickly turned into self hate. In the decades since have learned that nobody is perfect, but still working on the self-appreciation and self-love.

[@stevenconnor9767]

Im 56yrs old, most of my young life facing abuse, I often watch watch then videos (reaction) to see what emotion i should be feeling. sometimes i cry sometimes i retreat into my hole of despair. but Im learning slowly how emotions work. thanks for you reaction…

[@MentalAmanda]

Have grace for yourself. You have faced a lot and your brain is reacting accordingly. Be patient and empathetic with it

[@bradjarman8721]

Such a fantastic song. The singer has such a beautiful voice! The emotional level in this song is insanely high.

[@swampje1985]

I would love to watch your reaction to Like You by Evanescence. It's such a haunting song, but I love it because it sounds a little experimental.

[@soblndkorn]

I LOVE Evanescence!! 1. Do more Evanescence 2. You should really listen to "Theres fear in letting go" from I Prevail.

[@roymorrishx]

Not sure if you've reacted or even heard it (you probably have), but I would recommend Blackbird by Alter Bridge. It's the song that helped me through my father's passing and the resulting depression and ST.

[@rishacrow99]

its a nice emotional song....thanks for the up-load Amanda....ive always followed ur channel

[@071949]

Hi Amanda, I am *so* glad that you are a survivor; I believe you are a light and an inspiration to others who are going through dark, difficult times.

[@starfallmusicaus]

I really appreciate this video. My partner and I recently split up, it's been particularly hard given that we also have an 11 month old. I'm fairly sure this song was written about something to do with her being worried about her band falling apart and being scared to say goodbye to it because it is very precious to her, but needless to say it resonates with me a hell of a lot. It's nice to see a different take on these kinds of reaction videos to songs I enjoy.

[@donovandelaney3171]

RIP: Jason David Frank.

[@jasonrichardson1208]

Great reaction, Amanda! Amy Lee conveys emotion like very few can. She's something special...not your ordinary songstress. Keep diving down this rabbit hole.....I want to journey alongside you.

[@robertwilson2007]

From @miakaszhierra Lyrics I pull away to face the pain I close my eyes and drift away Over the fear that I will never find A way to heal my soul And I will wander 'til the end of time Torn away from you My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us from sorrow's hold Or from my hard heart I can't go on living this way But I can't go back the way I came Shamed of this fear that I will never find A way to heal my soul And I will wander 'til the end of time Half a life without you My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us, change, open your eyes to the light I denied it all so long, oh so long Say goodbye, goodbye My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us from sorrow's hold Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Amy Lee / Terry Balsamo / Tim McCord / Zach Williams

[@robertwilson2007]

I love this song! This song is in my playlist on my KZbin account. Here are the lyrics that hit me the most. "I pull away to face the pain I close my eyes and drift away Over the fear that I will never find A way to heal my soul And I will wander 'til the end of time Torn away from you My heart is broken" "I can't go on living this way But I can't go back the way I came My heart is broken" "And I will wander 'til the end of time Half a life without you My heart is broken"

[@praetorian1877]

I’m sorry to hear about your parents! I can’t even imagine.

[@DanSpomer]

I figure if I watch a reaction more than once, it’s a good one. Well done.

[@TheScorpio1999]

I wanna meet Amy Lee so bad. So I can attempt to talk to her about music, fail miserably, and it'd be all awkward while I stutter and try to get a word out, but the embarrassment in the moment would be worth it, just to meet her. Such a goddess. You were talking about how we sometimes feel like we're broken, and there's this line from a song called "Down" by Breaking Benjamin (a band I'm quite into) that says "Into your eyes I live; beautifully broken" right before the chorus of that song, that sort of conveys how I sometimes feel. Always great to hear Evanescence. Would love to see you react to "Broken Pieces Shine" by Evanescence if you're in the mood for something more empowering by them. I think you'd like it. Her voice has aged so, so well.

[@jaysonphillips6899]

I feel the same way you do....and I looooove Amy Lee

[@donovandelaney3171]

Not many can sing like that. She's got some powerful lugs on her.

[@Palindrome78]

Break In by Halestorm ft. Amy Lee is a great song to review! Also, it has taken me a while to accept that 'broken' does not mean 'destroyed' and 'damaged' does not mean 'ruined'...

[@rabeksmom]

Listen to "Lost in Paradise." One of the saddest songs, but good for release or catharsis.

[@TheRealDJCrazee]

Hey Amanda, just wondering, you ever heard Juliet Simms - End of the World? If not, I'd love to see a reaction to it someday.

[@elevenbravo7718]

Please react to “an empty room” by villain of the story. I love your channel and your videos. I was diagnosed with ptsd from severe combat trauma over 14 years in the Army and some days when I’m having a bad one all I need to do is watch and listen to you. Thank you Amanda.

[@MentalAmanda]

I'm humbled to bring any sort of comfort and solace to you. Thank you for your sacrifice 💖

[@picklefish74]

My favorite of their songs is, Immortal Beloved.

[@gecko475]

Personally, in my opinion, once you realise that you are mortal - that's when life begins ❤

[@rjdesmore3522]

Like a stone by audioslave would be good song to react to

[@dannyharden7837]

Very much appreciated she is very fallen in the deep and people don't know what to do

[@icedteatoni]

Hey Amanda, if you would like check out the live version of Far from Heaven by Amy. That makes me cry every single time.

[@michaelclarke1441]

Amanda, After you been alive as long as I have, (61) , death is indeed a deliverance from the unimaginable pain and hurt that will be upon you, the trick is to not accept defeat and give up, Thanks, awesome video

[@Lyzan00]

Every time I get down I use music to hype me back up. One of the Songs I listen to is "Carry On" by Angra. Not sure if its worth a reaction since there are not great quality videos but might want to check it out.

[@chrisburns8562]

I think Like You would be a good one by evanescence- I really enjoy your videos and how they help

[@alcidesgarcete897]

Saludos desde argentina y Paraguay 🖤🤘🇦🇷🇵🇾

[@joejaras9528]

If you like that song must listen to" the change " off of the same album.

[@satanonfire666]

do a reaction to my immortal by evanscence

[@darkestwilightt]

It's funny how you talk about escaping into your mind. Evanescence has a song called Imaginary which I think perfectly captures what you're talking about.

[@RockDocNeal]

Amy Lee is such a great vocalist and songwriter. Her heart is broken and my heart has been broken...multiple times (but no more...). I can tell you for sure that I am broken.

[@MentalAmanda]

Even if that's true, it doesn't make you less beautiful or valuable.

[@coyotesnipe]

Dude, check out Hollow by Icon for Hire. Great song,,,

[@darthkso3745]

Amy Lee is one of the best. Love her voice

[@daividsonpinheiro29]

A Pelé da voz, rainha do rock mundial

[@HoneyBee-oy1hf]

I remember your first video on Evanescence, thank you for the heart by the way. From what I’ve read…My Heart Is Broken was partially written based on…female trafficking. So…take that as you will. As I’ve previously said Amy and her gang got me through some shit and I’ve always looked at her for a comfort spot. One of the new ones from The Bitter Truth is one I recommend listening to, called Far From Heaven. A tribute to her now deceased brother Robby who passed back in 2018. The whole album has some of his spirit floating through it according to Amy but this is arguably the song in concentrates in. If that song doesn’t break your heart clean in two, I don’t know what will. A final goodbye, mourning what she’s lost, wishing she could’ve just had one more night with. A couple comments I’ve heard from others are “My Immortal 2.0” or “My Immortal, Good Enough, and Lost In Paradise all in one” both of which I agree with. Her dad cried hearing this one on Christmas 2020 as well. I also recommend Imperfection from Synthesis which would touch very well on mental health and depression. Another artist I recommend you take a look at is Halestorm, she’s got some very good ones, such as one from the newest album called Back From The Dead, perhaps touching on your past as a survivor? Lzzy is very much open on issues like mental health just like Amy and I cannot recommend her enough after finding her through Amy. Great video again!

[@MentalAmanda]

Thanks for the comment. Here is one of my Halestorm reactions kzbin.info/www/bejne/o4e5dHeed8ekn7M

[@HoneyBee-oy1hf]

@@MentalAmanda, holy crap, I recognize this one! I got the delightful pleasure of watching these 2 ladies sing this together at the Bellco show of the Halestorm/Evanescence tour last year and now I can no longer listen to the Halestorm only version, it’s that powerful and uplifting. But yeah, definitely check out Lzzy’s newest album, I am head over heels for it and it’s now my first Halestorm CD I own for my little Subaru, haha!

[@isaacrockefeller225]

Please listen to Jenny by Nothing More

[@TheNotedHero]

You really need to react to the band Within Temptation, perhaps start with their song "Angels". They're epic!

[@shenard6222]

Do you want to listen to more songs of Evanescence? Here are some recommendations: Call me when you're sober Going under Everybody's fool My Immortal Hello

[@larrylindgren9484]

Amy has it. You can't explain what it is. You just know it when you hear it. You can't teach it. You just have that something that you can't teach. You have it. Doesn't hurt her that she gorgeous too. Someone else wrote. It's unfair to look like her and be that talented.

[@TylerTheSuperman]

Hello. I saw your video reacting to the IRIS song "I'm Sorry". There is another emotional one from them like one of my favourites called "You're Better Off" from the album Goliath's Throne. Will you be able to react to this song soon? Hope you're doing good btw

[@anthonywilliams8849]

🌻

[@opponoastos]

I like listening to her at 120dB on my DAP 😆🤘

[@lietome22]

Have you ever heard of Chris stapleton - fire away?

[@MentalAmanda]

Here is my reaction to my first time hearing it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j5mtgJSfp7KKptk

[@marinedude_06]

For me it's her and Floor Jansen. For me I'll always be broken, you can only fix brain injury so much.

[@donaldpare9050]

First I need to say love her voice and her music. I almost did the worse thing because I didn't want to live anymore and I saw a therapist it went well until I said I have anxiety when my great Dane wasn't with me and she said , maybe he wants to be home. What the hell did she say that for. If it wasn't for him I may not be here. I'm done with therape. I don't trust those people anymore I'm done. Don't know what I will do

[@MentalAmanda]

It sounds to me like your Great Dane is your service dog and perhaps your therapist doesn't understand. I had a therapist that chastised me for grieving Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. Practically told me that I didn't know him personally so my grief wasn't merited. I sent her an email explaining how I felt and why his death affected me in a kind yet informative way. She was actually very receptive and apologetic and willing to listen. Now she knows better. I doubt that your therapist (like mine) was trying to be malicious. They just didn't know better. We have a chance to educate them!

[@dannyharden7837]

Would like you to play bring me to life by evanescence that is the best

[@StandUpComedyFan28m]

Mental Amanda, please react to Bullet by Hollywood Undead and Beautiful by P.O.D.!

[@Jan_K1]

please react to a fan made music video of the band billy talents song white sparrows its a fan made music video but it is so aweasome and oacked with emotions

[@FarajiCouncil]

The part where she says she wonders if she'll find a way to heal her soul is my biggest fear. Can I find a way to heal my soul from over 42yrs of horrible trauma from molestation by my neighbors from age 4-12 and being the only African American family and kid in my neighborhood and school and the bullying that came along with it to the abuse from my adopted parents and family I truly don't think I can heal I've been told multiple times I'm a lost cause mental health wise and I love evanescence and this song. Plus dealing with the death of my two best friends one to suicide and the other from frostbite and hypothermia when we were homeless in 2021 they passed I don't know how to grieve I've dealt with death of my friends and family since I was a child and was always the one everyone leaned on and have been I feel like I'm superman without a way to be Clark Kent if that makes sense. This song to me is the war between wanting to be ok and the fear of both what that'll look like and that it won't happen and death is the only way to finally be in peace

[@MentalAmanda]

I promise based on experience that you very much can find healing! You are NOT a lost cause. I've been told the same. Prove them wrong! Superman had a tragic backstory too. It might take a while to find Clark again, but he's in there!

[@FarajiCouncil]

@@MentalAmanda I don't have a reason to want to try and I don't know the real me never had a chance to figure out the real me and having no self esteem doesn't help. I've never been enough for anyone never will be don't know what the positive love feels like I've only been made to feel the horrible things people do for love. Hopefully I die soon somehow if not I'll just keep going through the motions and act like I'm ok until I do die. That's the only time I'll ever be at peace is when I'm dead

[@MentalAmanda]

@@FarajiCouncil It's NEVER too late to figure out the real you. Your why is because you deserve to know them! You deserve to go out of this world knowing what joy feels like and knowing who you are. I was rejected all through school and emotionally abused all through my twenties and part of my thirties by people that didn't see my worth. Now, I see it and I only allow people in my life who see it. You ARE worthy and lovable!

[@FarajiCouncil]

@@MentalAmanda no I'm not. I agreed with the people that care about me to try one last time to get help. At my intake today they told me that they're beyond concerned because I've been on every treatment and medication available other than the magnetic treatment and it's not a guarantee to work and it's the only option left. They asked me how they'll know that I've given up completely and I told them I'd tell my abusive ex gf who is trying to kill me where I am. They actually told me that they think I'm a suicide risk but don't think a psych ward would help because I've been so many times I know how to play the game needed to convince them I'm ok only to not be ok

[@FarajiCouncil]

@@MentalAmanda I am a lost cause. I've been going through the motions of my life hoping each day is the day I finally die again. I flatlined in 2020 from frostbite and hypothermia but was revived unfortunately

[@satanonfire666]

your beautiful Amanda

[@jxstified7558]

This song was apparently about sex trafficking btw such a good song.

[@tiktokobsesser9342]

i have a question, am i fat, ugly or eorthless i believe that i am

[@tiktokobsesser9342]

i meant worthless

[@MentalAmanda]

That is your Shadow talking! Fight back!

[@jett4ever590]

I don’t think I mean anything

[@jesappelgroot2565]

I subscribed 😳😩❤️💗💕💞💋💖♥️😠😂🤣👌😜😲💙🤗

[@lassemadsen607]

Pain is sometimes a good thing. I just started working full time as a blacksmith again and I am broken down when I get home. Everything hurts. I have learned about parts of me that can hurt I didn't even thought existed. My point is that pain isn't allways a bad thing. When it's a healthy pain, it still hurts, but it builds you. It's just very important that you know it's a healthy pain. Also - always lift with your legs and humor, even on bad days, is a good thing^^ Edit. I saw a classically trained musician last week trying to analyze rock, and completely missed the point. Music is feeling, not something you can analyze. The best song in the world is the simplest. Mozart and Bach can put math in their work all they want. emotion are simple and should be expressed in simple ways. Not because they are simple, but because that's the way we are. Listen to any cover of 'over the rainbow' and tell me that doesn't make you feel something.

[@lassemadsen607]

*sleep sleep my dark angles' have allways meant a goodbye to the demons. Let them be gone again ei. I leave them behind.

[@karltonhoopes8794]

I sent you some messages on Instagram a while back...would be appreciated if you'd check them out.. time is of essence.

[@MentalAmanda]

IG keeps suspending my account. It's more effective to email me (address in video description.)

[@karltonhoopes8794]

@@MentalAmanda hmm, I looked in the description, but I dont see a normal looking email format or a @yahoo or @gmail. I feel like it's the one right after your insta, but not sure.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@karltonhoopes8794 Yes, is is. [e-mail]