MESSY HOUSE TOUR *exposing ourselves* - realistic home adhd girlie

This is my messy home tour where I share the reality of our home as a family of four with two kids under 5 years old AND as someone who is currently testing for Adult ADHD.
Our home isn’t perfect but it keeps us safe and that’s all that matters. Sharing my messy life to bring other comfort and to be free of my own shame of not being able to to keep a house tidy. i feel like when I share my insecurities here, im weirdly liberated bc it doesn’t hold me back anymore.
…..
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Instagram: / thehellajam
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About me:
HIYA! I’m a Filipina American born and raised in the Bay, mama of two that’s always down to disco.
I love storytelling through video and connecting with people on a deeper level. I just want everyone to feel seen and heard and lil less alone.
I’ve found power in embracing my imperfections (one day at a time) and hope by sharing my flaws, maybe you can embrace yours too!
I really do love Mother Earth. I hope by sharing my love for the world, leading an imperfect sustainable life, I can inspire others to think about making small changes in their lives to better the environment too.

[@SouLoveMe]

you have no idea how much we all need to see this! seriously.. going through my own comparisons of others and constantly feeling like im lacking on some area in my life but your and your life.. is EVERYTHING so much appreciated ! authenticity and transparency and strength! this is the shift we need!

[@cassidymcmillan9816]

I love realistic house tours!! So relatable

[@theHellaJam]

tbh I was scared to post it but I think scary things are good for you

[@TheTwoWitnesse5]

The mess of your home is actually quite charming. It's lived in, it's loved, and your children cherish their safe space momma has made.

[@theHellaJam]

awww thanks! ya.... I've learned to embrace it and honor this chapter in my life. I'll never be able to get these chaotic times back and one day I'll miss it.

[@unfoldingwithgrace3640]

This is a valuable message that you are sharing. Our mental health and quality time with our family is more important than a perfect house. I appreciate your vulnerability.

[@ariannam6794]

This is soo relatable I’m sobbing I FEEL SO SEEN. I try so hard but I am working to let go of the shame, and that’s helping me regain some peace! ND hotties GET IT 👏🏻

[@theHellaJam]

omg this is exactly why I posted this as scary as it was.... so happy it brought your comfort!

[@droseee521]

Thank you for being so raw and relatable as always. Really needed this one today! One of your best videos imo

[@theHellaJam]

Ahhhhh thanks Dana! That makes me really happy to see/read/hear hehe

[@jessicasings4194]

Thank you so much for your raw honesty and transparency. It's a breath of fresh air in a world that appears airbrushed

[@nicoeeek.7181]

YASSSSS!!! More honest content, here for it.

[@theHellaJam]

yeeeeeee!!!!!!!

[@BrittanyJeanThrifts]

The realness and transparency of this video deserves it all. I love you Jam. Thank you for sharing how human you are, also reminding us it’s ok to be human❤️

[@mamajo1515]

Girl thank you so much for posting this real ass tour of your house, I needed that today so so badly as I sit at home on my day off and knowing I *should* be cleaning, but I just can’t. Also, thank you for sharing the story about the holes in your wall, I’m so happy for y’all that you have been able to get through such a rough time and that you’re using it as a reminder of what you’ve been through and how far y’all have come! Trust me, we’ve all been there, esp in these last few years. You got this❤

[@theHellaJam]

Thanks mama Jo! Your kind words always make me feel Better

[@oliviauzquiano7392]

Your house looks like my house growing up and it’s actually kind of nostalgic ❤ it’s messy but it’s a home!!

[@theHellaJam]

holy moly this hits my heart strings.

[@Ohhforgoodnesssake]

Thank you...truly. First of all, your house looks a warm family home of creative people ❤. I came on here looking for anyone like me, struggling to stay on top of the house no matter what i do. I am undiagnosed adhd, two kids and a partner all also neurodivergent. Its so hard not to berate oneself sometimes. I am the glue in this house and i barely manage to keep it under control. So many things you said in this video moved me and i was nodding thinking..yes girl, exactly, i try to remind myself of the same when im in a better headspace. "We have a roof over our heads, my family is safe, i am grateful for this home". I also try to make good with what i have and be creative in reusing stuff but i feel the people in my life would judge me that i never invite anyone over. I feel they would see a pile of clothes and think " wow really? Gross". For me that pile of laundry is proof i love my kids. Its CLEAN. Thank you for your raw honesty, youre clearly a wonderful mum that does her best for her family with alot of love ❤

[@Peinaj]

Thank you for sharing, especially the end regarding the holes in the wall. This type of content is important. I feel at home here. ❤

[@mustbe_lori]

Girl you know what the issue is, your place does not have convenient storage solutions for your needs. I´ve learned it´s not enough to have any form of storage, but storage furniture/solutions need to be modelled and shaped to you and the space that you live in. Especially in "small houses" - I live with my bf on a 49m2 apartment. But also, not everyone is supposed to have the time, money or energy to do such a job... wish I could help you, cause it´s low key become my hobby XD. In any case, nobody is judging - very hard to find time for anything in this life we live in. Wise words: we need to save and be very mindful of how we use our energy. Thanks for sharing, fucking brave. Love, L.

[@nativeamericanfeather9948]

Might want to consider decluttering. It personally helped me soooo much!My house looks nicer,bigger,way more welcoming & cozy for my kids & I♡ less stuff is less mess:) I also will set a timer for 10 mins to power clean on the days I dont feel like cleaning all day lol

[@Danurd23]

Thank you so much for this! I have such a hard time telling myself it's not because I'm lazy, my brain just functions in the mess.

[@2013lovemy]

Ha. We have several donation piles too 😬. Confession: we don’t even fold the laundry. It sits in the baskets for weeks until it’s finally stuffed in drawers…we’re also a 2 ADHD parent household. The shame is real. Thanks for sharing.

[@theHellaJam]

youre doing great boo boo. thanks for sharing

[@anastasiatraicoff1371]

Thank you!!! I needed this today. My husband and I have such a different view of what a house is for. I'm all for living in it. He's all for it being a show place. We are going to be in counseling over it.

[@cherlynwagner6927]

I clicked that like button even before I watched - just for the title! I LOVE it. So very relatable, especially as an ND. SO THANK YOU FOR SHARING!

[@theHellaJam]

thank you for being here!!!!!

[@michellegerardi2613]

Thx so much for this video gurl..there r so many more homes unorganized w sum clutter of things we dont want to get rid of or jst literally have no space for!! You should b so proud of urself for being so real and allowing us to see flaws that most of us have...lol..be easy on urself and I promise I will too!! My home is a complete mirror of urs!! Thx again for being U (like most dont) thats what makes me stick around anywayzk💕😘🤪🌛✌🏽

[@theHellaJam]

omg thank you my love.... this means so much to me.

[@briannajones580]

I feel U and thank you for this x I am a mum of w nine month old and am 22 weeks pregnant and im struggling hard .I have always found it hard to keep clean.My house is old and has not one cupboard or wardrobe to put anything so it seems never ending.I will keep the house clean then get exhausted and the cycle continues.

[@terriakine4404]

Ty for sharing ur home w us

[@8pookiebear]

Girl, I LOVE YOU! As a neurodivergent mother who has such a hard time keeping up with mess and organization, I needed this. Keeping it really always. 💓💓

[@kathleenlafferty3246]

Appreciate you sharing this and being so real about the stuff you've gone through. And happy for you and your family that you've come out of the darker times xx

[@theHellaJam]

thank you!!!!!! it feels so good.

[@kalijhawk70]

Oh, this was such a breath of fresh air. I usually watch house tours and ask myself if anyone actually lives there. My husband and I are both neurodivergent as well and our house looks so much like yours. Odd things everywhere like potting compost on the coffee table for the last month 😮😅. It is so good to see a real home. 😊

[@daniellepointer3328]

Thank you so much for your transparency jam don't feel bad my kids are adults 24 + 29 your house looks like my house you have some really nice stuff my house is the same way we are hella creative blessings to you for being so real you can tell there's a lot of love in your home just get rid of the denim curtains neurodivergent people darkness becomes a trap for again thank you for having the courage to share your world with us and you're so stylish!!!

[@nativeamericanfeather9948]

I raised 4 Amazing kids completely by myself. And kids will be kids..they dont know any better. I devoted my life & time to them & providing a nice home for them. Keep trying to do better..dont give up. When you're truly ready for change..you will make it happen ♡ You & your family deserve it. I was where you are once. I finally got tired of living like that & changed. And Im so glad I did. It helped with my depression,a clean home made me feel happier & like I could relax and breathe better..it actually became my therapy ♡ turn on some music & clean as a family:) Just keep going & dont give up. My daughters are adults now & my boys are teenagers..I miss them being little & the messes.Cherish it because time goes by so fast. I pray that God renews your strength ♡ you got this!

[@JR-kf9bt]

Thank you for being real! It's so relatable and refreshing to see on social media.

[@theHellaJam]

thank you JR! I don't wanna be anything less. appreciate you being here!

[@EarthPixi]

Thank you so much for being real! Loved this video. I don’t feel alone 💕💕.

[@theHellaJam]

you're not alone

[@tamg734]

This is so cool! I have been wondering if I have some mental challenge, just because I get so overwhelmed. I don’t know where to start, I get frustrated cause I don’t know where to put stuff. And it feels like no matter how hard my husband and I try our house just never stays clean. Thank you so much for posting this! It makes me feel better and I hope that one day we find a system that works for us.

[@theHellaJam]

thank you tamara!!!!!! aging is healing me... yt is healing me. so thank you sm for your support and kind words!

[@missmays4933]

Tyfs! ❤🎉

[@3101Love]

Thank you for this great video. I always feel so under preasure to have the perfect home when someone visits but my reality is like yours. So its very refreshing and even helpful to see that not everyone has this perfect instagram home

[@theHellaJam]

omg I get that feeling too. we have friend visiting and im trying not to internally freak out lol

[@sueorosz8886]

A home can live w collections and decor and mess and still be cute as hell! Those perfect homes are made for whom? Kids? Pets? Collecting? Artists? Moms and dads? Please! My husband was in the army 34 years and I always felt so exposed when spouses came over! Omg it’s like I have kids and I’m work from home! We are the house of shoes too! Lol! Hang in there! You are adorable and your house is completely normal! ❤

[@theHellaJam]

Awww thanks Sue! Appreciate you!

[@kate7402]

This video is so important

[@lindamunro4422]

Hello Jamie, thank you so much for making this video of your gorgeous cosy home. Sending your love from Chesham, The Shires, England xx

[@nycolecole]

HELLA JAM! You are my Bay Area sistuh (in my head)….you bring me back to my days at Berkeley High for some reason! Anyhow, loved this realistic home tour….we are all by far not perfect and the internet always makes me feel like I’m living an episode of hoarders….so thank you thank you thank you for showing that we don’t have to be perfect ALL THEE TIME! ❤

[@theHellaJam]

Hahahha yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! omg best comment ever. thank you Nycole!

[@Rosell_uhh]

this is why your my favorite! I am messy tooo! I love watchin the clean homes but i am always like THAT CANT BE REAL. lol

[@theHellaJam]

part of it is envy for me. hahahaha

[@londonhasfallen7786]

Got a hole in my door from rough days of feeling unheard and constantly failing. I’m not. I might not have a clear goal in life, but even the process of connecting with people every day through my basic retail job, as well as my cool ass friends gives me hope.

[@theHellaJam]

thank you for feeling safe enough to share this here. this is why share my vulnerable moments so you can feel safe and feel seen here.

[@londonhasfallen7786]

@@theHellaJam You do that Jam, you give us all that space to say things that we’re not all necessarily proud of because you aren’t judgement, you are support. Thank you for doing that. I do miss your posting more, but I get it, life is crazy, but we all love you!

[@1111popz]

I love this, so relatable :) myself and my partner are both neurodivergent and the struggle/shame is real!

[@antoinettepeeps1]

Love this video!! So relatable!

[@theHellaJam]

thank you

[@itsokhesjamaican]

I’d never really felt shame for my house until more recently - ours is okay most of the time but with a neurodivergent husband (ADHD) and a wife whose anxiety sometimes takes over - plus a toddler - it’s just so hard to keep up. I feel like as I get older now that I’m a mom I feel more shame for not having it together. It’s like clutter was so fine when we were all 23 but now we’re in our 30s and everyone else seems to keep their space so neat!!! I’m super organized and I keep my daughter’s space clean but it’s cluttered af.

[@itsokhesjamaican]

Literally for our bdays this year my mom is getting me and my husband a full house clean. I would love for that to be part of our monthly budget but it’s not an option right now. Anyway. I feel you!!!!

[@taya2420]

I can just imagine your Italian in laws seeing the state there grandkids are living in, hopefully there not to judgemental

[@karmanjones8346]

Being a maximalist and having to clean all the time, non stop to be real! Do you ever want to be a minimalist, I go back and forth just because I hate cleaning it and I feel guilty having so much!!!! Is it ok to have a lot of stuff??? And love it all!!!

[@theHellaJam]

Stef is a minimalist.. I grew up with filipino immigrants who kept everything bc of the scarcity mindset. they also found pride in every piece they purchased as immigrants... I too struggle with letting things go lol

[@andreageorge4726]

I love lived in homes 😊 you have children and they live to play with everything everyday every minute lol BUT have you tried wood pellets for litter they help with the odor so much! Love your videos keep up the awesome work and Happy Belated Birthday Leo!!! 🎉

[@theHellaJam]

amen! thanks for the birthday love!

[@theHellaJam]

we had the wood pellet litter but at that time Azul was peeing through the pads every day bc we didn't know he was struggling with diabetes! I think Stef is haunted by the pellets lol

[@cindyhernandez7479]

Girlll ! This video 💘

[@theHellaJam]

thank you Cindy!

[@jeannepaquette6910]

I was a single mom for a while with 2 little ones also working.. just a little heads up try to b careful to not loose your shirt in front of your little ones. They will pi k it up. It's hard. But sooo important. Take care 🙂

[@ubetchaslots]

Yasssss that's why we are peeps, Jam, my house a bOmb CYClone x 1000. Me and my son are hella clean people, but soooo untidy. Always lookin fresh n fly, showered, hair did, teeff brushed, nice kicks100%, like shoes off at the door, kinda ppl, but who cares if beds made or of it's put away right away, or not, cept for food trash and recycles, that's easy nuf to put that out in bins on curb. We'll clean it tho periodically, in due time, n def when company comes 🤣

[@theHellaJam]

yes same! absolutely noooooo shoes in this house haha

[@ForeverMV1]

Honestly your home is very beautiful and welcoming despite being a little cluttered and disorganized. As a guest I would be so in awe of all the different pretty and cool things to look at ☺️ Don't be pressured to have a perfect home like social media loves to push. Organization is about creating systems that work for you and your family to live the life you want to live. As for decluttering I like to think of items in our home as things we need to "care for and manage" so only keeping what is absolutely necessary or you love will help make your life so much easier when it comes to maintaining your home. Sorry if this sounded like unsolicited advice 😣 Loved your home tour and wishing you the best on your journey to tidy your home 🩷

[@theHellaJam]

thank you!!!!!! Ya it's not AS filthy as I thought. another healing part of posting it even though I was hesitant

[@SarojaThiruppathy]

❤❤❤

[@anitaproctor5277]

Jamie, pull your head up that’s real life you’re healthy you’re blessed your kids are healthy. Your husband is healthy. Hang in there.😜

[@theHellaJam]

thank Anita! that's all I could ever ask for... were all here on this earth happy and healthy. appreciate you!

[@WeirddoughRue]

What if you get an air purifier for your room? I live in a studio and it's very helpful

[@theHellaJam]

hi!!!! we have air purifiers in every room already :(((

[@mickeyo2229]

It's life 😊

[@theHellaJam]

[@theHellaJam]

What’s a part of your home that you’re embarrassed about?

[@TheTwoWitnesse5]

Everything.

[@nycolecole]

My embarrassment would have to be my bedroom closet! It’s the biggest closet in the house and everything is in there

[@dee468]

A dirty bathroom(toilet in particular) is something I would find embarrassing

[@ashleymontero3526]

My bedroom.. and my daughters room.

[@ubetchaslots]

My whole place, but we're lived in and loved in. It looks worse to ppl who are wicket clean but yo truth be told if it don't stink then yaa good. I like all my stuff out on display too. Whoever doesn't like it doesn't need to watch this and or not bother comin tf ova. Girl don't be embarrassed I'm tellin u, my place is wayyy worse but we're purging w the help of YT skowly but surely, and I have just me and my teen son here, 2 cats n 3liazrds I can't forget. So alot of my time goes into shopping for fresh food the 7mouths to feed, laundry, trash n litterbox for 2adult cats, our 3 dragons are potty trained so spa time and soaks are essential to keepin 3 tanks clean, cuz if they 💩 in their tanks itll stink and get messy, is v rare cuz after dragons eat, put em in water and presto, down the drain the 💩 goes, it sometime takes 15to30mins but better than 💩 in a tanks 95° But it is kustnthen2 of us Gracen, 17 mar5th and mama.me Jam, Ur doin FAB ESP FOR A FAM OF 4. Pfew! THE KIDS, PETS AND SPOUSES ARE ALL LOVED AND YALL SAFE AND WARM/COOL THATS ALL YA NEED FOR A HOME IMO💗💌💗🤍💛💗🤍💛💗💌😺🐕😹🐩🐕😺😻😎🐲🦎🐉🧡💛🤍💛🧡

[@taya2420]

This gives me so much anxiety just watching, Honestly you just have way to many things maybe that’s why your finding yourself overwhelmed. Hope your able to find a resolution!

[@iloveboots7]

parenting is so hard! especially when we are suffering from a disability or are neurodivergent, or both! The shame that I feel for not having it all together or figured out. For being a bitch when i'm too overwhelmed and touched out, just exhausted. I think the shame of not playing with my daughter as much as I would like to is what eats at me. Playing barbies is the literal worst thing ever though honestly...I loved this video, thank you for being you

[@theHellaJam]

omg sheila thank you! ya I've been dealing with intense mom guilt. especially today. I yelled at sol and couldn't calm down even after driving to my hair appt 20 minutes away. some days are really beautiful and other days... it's hella hard.

[@TkFamm]

I’m so embarrassed to post ours 😩😩

[@theHellaJam]

It’s ok! I think the more we normalize it the less people feel alone if they’re all over the place like us

[@SpiritHeartsSong]

❤

[@elizabethcongo7815]

We are a neurodivergent messy heux household and I feel so seen hahahah

[@theHellaJam]

hahahahah messy hoes unite

[@susanvelez6534]

Hi honey remember me

[@nonotreally4398]

Task Tabbit, you don't have to do it all yourself

[@psol1863]

Nothing to be shame for...😅

[@theHellaJam]

thank you!

[@lanadurovi7000]

Too much stuff.Looks like my sister's house.

[@theHellaJam]

im a work in progress

[@lilricebowl]

Neurodivergent? Sure, Jan.

[@theHellaJam]

Sweet Mary Magdalene what’s the dealio cupcake?

[@Uwucutegirl]

❤❤❤