Midnight Screenings - Fifty Shades Darker

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Website: www.thecinemasnob.com
Brad Twitter: @thecinemasnob
Sarah Twitter: @boxcar_sarah
Movie Review: Fifty Shades Darker

[@FlyingFocs]

Brad: "Fuck this movie! Fuck this movie hard!" My first thought: "No, the movie would like that. Just don't touch it."

[@Ike_of_pyke]

FlyingFocs denial is the greatest torture to a submissive

[@nickmattio3397]

Buffalo Bill's Dance Sequence was hotter than this shit lol

[@1sund51]

XD kinky fuckeryyyy XDXD

[@Kristanni20X6]

No don't fuck this movie, don't let your friends fuck this movie. This movie's unfuckable

[@robbiramirez5820]

Sarah saying "Why does anything exist? We are dust, and then we die!" in her adorable perky voice is amazing.

[@FiredraPhoenixhawk]

Brad's brain shutting down from hearing "Kinky Fuckery" reminds of when SpongeBob forgot his name. The inside of his consciousness is in flames while mini Brads are panicking.

[@scitechian]

Or the Pickles one. "I. Anything. Can't. Do. Right. Since. Because. Pickles."

[@patadams7282]

"An erotic thriller starring Bruce Willis?....." "You know what, it is kinda amazing." "No, I'm already sold." My favorite part of the review

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Another example of cheesy nineties erotic thriller would be all the stuff with Tane McClure.

[@MrKahlerHahn]

"Dakota johnson was actin her little tush off" somehow that line made me laugh out really loud

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Andre Martänz Dakota Johnson should be in a Lego movie. Fuck these dumb novel adaptations. Give me Harry Potter and Series of Unfortunate Events over Twilight, True Blood and 50 Shades Danker any day. I'm still excited for Universal's Super Nintendo Land coming to their theme parks in 2020...

[@keijijohnson9754]

Andre Martänz Well, based on the pictures I've seen of her, she looks pretty dang thin enough to have a little tush.

[@MrKahlerHahn]

she might have a cute little tush actually, but if i remember correctly she had a tush-double ;)

[@finnChitwood]

Andre Martänz "hello ma'am your resumé says you were a stunt double. may i ask what movies you've worked on?" "i was a butt double in fifty shades"

[@blackstar9816]

I read this as she ws saying it

[@brodiecrain13]

Don't you dare compare Vegeta to Christian gray! Vegeta is an actual character unlike that wannabe creepy Bruce Wayne!

[@billybarnett9518]

Mixed with Edward from Twilight

[@SimplyAnime101]

Yeah, all the other characters she named are, ya know, GOOD CHARACTERS.

[@billybarnett9518]

iused2becool Yeah but this started off as Twilight fan fiction, so you know they copied it.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Brodie Crain I'd love to see Vegeta destroy Christian Grey's building... but he better do it on any day but Sunday!

[@Usagi393]

I don't know. Bulma does go from being scared shitless of him to humping his brains out pretty quickly. Most of the characters do gloss over the fact that he is a serial killer, probably because of those tight pants.

[@Valdagast]

You could have let Lloyd and Chloë watch the baby. I'm sure they would be great at it.

[@qualivia]

Valdagast Llyod would have used the baby as bait for rats

[@Valdagast]

Or you could let Brad babysit. I'm sure the baby would love watching Caligula.

[@dreadstheheart]

Valdagast I sense a spin off

[@JadoDog]

Someone make a meme of Sarah saying, "Don't have sex in a swimming pool, there's chemicals in there!" And make her famous because that was glorious xDDD

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

ThatGuyWithTheMon "Don't buy a Wii, I already have a Doorknob!" - TestZero, Commercial Failure Couch Commander review.

[@purplecookiellamas]

4:47 - Apparently the author didn't like how the women making the first one tried to give the movie like a plot and tried to make it you know, an actual movie. So for this 2nd one she got them to hire her husband instead, so if this movie seems a lot more like only fan fiction and f$£king... that's why

[@trtx84]

How old is Christian Grey supposed to be that his *childhood room* would have a Chronicles of Riddick poster? Bet Dakota Johnson can't wait for the final film: "Fifty Shades Freed (From Contractual Obligation)".

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Andrew Welter She might as well Unfriend him and haunt him on Facebook!

[@Dlynchian]

Thank you for taking this bullet for us.

[@Launchpad05]

I can't wait to see Moviebob rip this film a new one!

[@Dlynchian]

Always nice to learn new swear words. And MovieBOB sure has a way with words.

[@nicholasmorgan7609]

Eh, moviebob sucks as much as this movie

[@nickmattio3397]

Really altogether he saved everyone like $100k Brad's just Fuggin Brilliant lol

[@TimDraketheRedRobin]

So I gotta remark on something. I totally agree with Sarah on Spike changing because the audience liked him. Vegeta on the other hand has had legitimate character development that shows him changing as a person, particularly in Dragonball Super. Okay, nerd moment over. You guys are awesome, keep up the good work

[@fightingmedialounge519]

Barely, vegeta's character development is based on a pretty flimsy premise.

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Man, I get this is gonna make more than John Wick 2, but there is gonna be hell to pay if Fifty Shades beats Lego Batman.

[@charlie.hubbard5463]

AtticWarrior1994 Well a ton of predictor sites say it's gonna lose out to Lego Batman by 10 mil or so

[@starwarsnerd100]

People are gonna bring their kids to Lego Batman, probably not the case with Fifty Shades. I hope.

[@darrylsanborn7758]

starwarsnerd100 You'd be surprised. I work at a movie theater, and I would say 25% of the people brought their children

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Darryl Sanborn Ugh. We're all going to Hell.

[@darrelsam419]

Darryl Sanborn wait people brought their kids in 50SD??? ...dang the next generationos going to be really fucked up.

[@capnpen7690]

Kinky fuckery actually sounds like it could be funny in a better movie.

[@albatross4920]

Flat Cap it would be a cool band name

[@hemmingwayfan]

Go look up "Charles Dance reads 50 Shades of Grey." You'll thank me later

[@MrKahlerHahn]

@hemmingwayfan you son of a.... i was close to dying laughing

[@charlesman8722]

Bruno Matti?

[@talynhastime9343]

Man, if you want good S&M, just go on archiveofourown.org, pick your favorite show or whatever, and type SSC in the tag bar. You'll get that shit done right and it'll likely be 1000x more romantic and emotionally healthy than this stupid series. I'm not a member of the "community" but even I can appreciate that steel tight bond of trust and love between S's and M's when clearly portrayed correctly in fiction and showcased in real life. It bothers me that THIS of all series is the one to take off when there are tons of *original* book series (read: Not rehashed fanfictions) with tons of more rave reviews that don't have film offers. Or maybe they do?

[@sadiebee9163]

ao3 authors (for the most part) are amazing. I approve of this comment.

[@potatoradio]

Talyn has time What, What, What, stories by people who know more than being someone who has a friend who kinda like it maybe. (like this or the story of O.) Who at least know What SSC stands for. Crazy talk!

[@tychoazrephet3794]

You, you my man. Boss, you're aces in my book just for this comment.

[@BodySprayMan]

I'll add to the recommendations you got there. Sunstone! BDSM comic that's really good. Read that and every volume instead!

[@TheNaruto213]

That's a good fanfic site

[@jamalcooper7881]

50 Shades Darkest: Electric Darkgaloo.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Jamal Cooper Electric Dark Glue!

[@bul13ts]

Okay, we know about the subplots, but what about the domplots?

[@harrietamidala1691]

This movie is one whole domplot (dumb plot).

[@CineMasterDamian]

And the award for best comment goes to...

[@nowaxtheory]

I love you two when you're reviewing movies together. Like a good combination of cinnamon and sugar for my review.

[@CMY187]

Dakota Johnson can now empathize with Robert Pattinson; they both portrayed leading characters in a horrible movie series, and they hated every second of it. if only the 50 Shades movies had Michael Sheen.

[@RichardWatt]

50 Shades only exists because E L James originally wrote a Twilight fanfic but used Find & Replace in Word to change "vampires" to "BDSM". Then the book publisher asked her to change things so Stephanie Meyer didn't sue them.

[@christiegreenwood2642]

Listen to Charles Dance reading out the "kinky fuckery" line in front of a fireplace, in an armchair, like a narrator for a Dickens tv special. It's awesome.

[@anglefan85]

Huh, didn't know Sarah had a baby. Congrats to her and Dave.

[@GeorgeSirois]

I had to stifle my laugh at the Chronicles of Riddick poster too! The fact that it's a FRAMED poster, it reminded me of Seth Rogen in The 40-Year-Old Virgin saying, "You FRAMED an ASIA POSTER?!"

[@alopexau]

The hell is wrong with people? Wonder Woman's movie theme is brilliant. Also that's not a guitar riff, it's an electric cello.

[@wondedangel3769]

I never clicked on a video so fast

[@MrSpookypaw]

100% truth.

[@cayenneberrie7632]

yup

[@kaatyblue]

Side note: Sarah, your hair cut is gorgeous haha

[@Vanoc93]

As soon as Sarah said "The Zookeeper's Wife", I immediately thought, "The sequel to "The Zookeeper" with Kevin James getting a wife?"

[@oneopinion6806]

People hate the WonderWoman guitar riff?? It's great! I mean at least she has a theme that can be identified quickly, unlike the Man of Steel theme which while I enjoy takes time to build.

[@starwarsnerd100]

I don't hate the guitar riff, but in BVS it seemed really manipulative. In a movie that had some soul that would be the part where the audience cheered, and the music made it clear they expected to get that reaction, but as with the rest of the film the theatre was dead silent.

[@fahdchoudry7763]

A B I like it too. In bvs, when the music came and WW appeared it was one few great moments in the film

[@alopexau]

Just FYI, It's an electric cello, not a guitar.

[@TheZombiehunter24]

I like the Wonder Woman theme! That's right! Send your hate to me!

[@cookiemocher388]

I like it, who actually would hate for that?

[@dunes8817]

Some of those lines seem like they were written by aliens unfamiliar with how humans actually talk.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Dunes8 I bet you that 50 Shades Danker was written by the purple Minions from Dispicable Me 2.

[@kevinwilley4180]

Is it weird that my thoughts went to the Half-Life G-man trying to write erotic fiction?

[@DrGregoryHouseIT]

Trivia: In Italy, this IS Fifty Shades Of Black, and FSOB is titled Fifty Smudges Of Black.

[@Bloodskyangel]

I've read dirtier smut by sexually frustrated teens on Tumblr.

[@nathanclark2424]

@BloodSky Angel smut I could actually get off to, may I add...

[@wespapes2054]

I was just watching the Double Toasted review of this, then I got the notification for this review. I'm happy.

[@thomasfredrickson6298]

Nostalgic Jeremy So did I! Just got out of DT review!

[@thema1998]

Nostalgic Jeremy Oh my God! Me three.

[@kaatyblue]

Same. I'm so satisfied lol

[@felinefatale7773]

Nostalgic Jeremy It must be Christmas morning

[@FlameOfUdun96]

Same here lol

[@JustusAnkka]

Hugh Dancy was actually cut from this film. He was supposed to play the psychiatrist for Christian Grey. That freaking sucks because I'm happy him getting film roles after Hannibal. (He would have been the best part of this film for sure and also more character development)

[@betteronbrunettes]

When the first movie came out, me and my single friends all got really drunk to go see it. When we got in the theater, everyone else in the audience was super drunk too. I could hear wine bottles roll down the aisle several times. Everyone was laughing hysterically. Definitely my best theater experience in many years.

[@bardofthe90s57]

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: if you want a good BDSM sexual thriller, watch The Secretary. The ending is a little odd, I will say, but it's sooooo much better than this trash.

[@CineMasterDamian]

Secretary is more of a romance, not a thriller

[@NidorinoAlliance]

It always makes me sigh when I click on a video, where the runtime's longer than how long it's been out, and there's already a dislike. Damn it.

[@MrJackblack7]

50 Shades of Grey is like getting ass-raped by Katana(from Suicide Squad)'s sword. It's painful and a piece of your soul is taken when it's over.

[@scitechian]

Or Kitana (from Mortal Kombat)'s fan-blade. Every time you get back up to fight back, she does it again.

[@NinjaVampireCyborg]

old fashioned 2: the resurrection of clay walsh

[@brianstraight9308]

Always a delight to see Sarah reading the names of movies from her forearm. ;)

[@mikihoshii7591]

I honestly don't see what people see in those movies. Especially how the first movie turned out...

[@ashyuka300]

Did Sarah say her baby watches Breaking Bad?! Coolest mom ever.

[@patrickdix772]

21:50 You'd think a bdsm movie would be good at tieing up plots. :V

[@TheaterRaven]

14:32--"I'm not a dominant, I'm a sadist. I get off on hurting women who look like my crackhead mother." Holy shit. I don't know what's more disturbing: That or knowing so many of the world's housewives lapped it up as "romantic". It's not romantic, it's creepy! Even Freud would need to get hammered every night to forget his workdays if he had Christian Grey as a patient. Bloody hell . . .

[@andyhoov]

My response to "Kinky Fuckery" was, "That would be a great name for a porno store!". I actually said that out loud in the theater.

[@n.esthermorgenthau3497]

Yay!!! I was looking forward to this review forever, made my day! Sarah rocks as usual!

[@IamWalkingDead1]

Sarah's face in the thumbnail summarizes the movie.

[@alextromagnetic]

"She's been watching Breaking Bad" Sarah is the best mum

[@Land_Of_The_Cliffs]

Been waiting for this review since the trailer!

[@TheLowBrassDude]

Chronicles of Riddick is a masterpiece!

[@TheLowBrassDude]

Very true. But when I'm in the mood for Vin Diesel I go straight to the Riddick trilogy

[@Blakbox92]

Chronicles of Riddick is criminally underrated.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

kevin willems Assault and Vinegar.

[@awsumpossum1]

yeah i love it. People shit on it by its pretty cool for me

[@miamiyeah]

Never thought I would hear a vegeta reference in a 50 shades review haha

[@alexpollock6932]

I really really like the Wonder Woman theme

[@blaa6]

Villains turning good due to popularity...Discord, Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer... shall I go on?

[@HarujiSubayama]

Sunset Shimmer: the only thing from Equestria Girls I ever gave a shit about. X'D

[@marthia8015]

I don't think popularity is the reason that happens in MLP, it's more likely that the show is trying to hard to force it's message about friendship onto everyone, so all the villains are have to turn into good guys at some point. The only one where I'm pretty sure it happened because of his popularity is Discord. Sunset Shimmers reformation even starts in the movie she was introduced in, so there is no way it could have been a reaction to the fandom.

[@cartooncritic7045]

blaa6 Hell, why stop at just Ponies when we can include Kevin 11 in that category as well.

[@billybarnett9518]

Bianca Mayer Most people don't think the lessons about friendship are forced.

[@HarujiSubayama]

I think they're quite intelligent, to be honest, if not cheesy. But I like the cheese, personally. I find it charming. Especially The Times They Are a Changeling. I fucking ADORE that episode.

[@marikotrue3488]

Not going to read the books or see the movies, but was so looking forward to the KZbin reviews. Thank you guys!

[@bethanymcmurtrey9542]

I was reading the plot on the Wikipedia page and in the description was this nifty line, " Christain, not wanting to lose Ana, drops to his knees and turns into a submissive." If the Wikipedia page has lines like that, I'd hate to see what the actual movie has to say.

[@magnos_decimus]

the screenshot for this video makes me think 'you did this Brad' from Sarah's look

[@harriet5088]

this made me laugh so much, you pointed out everything I thought while watchin!

[@BonTonBunny]

I literally saw this last night and I barely remember it except for a few random things but thank you for the Riddick thing thank you so much for noticing that.

[@annietrinity1833]

Whenever I hear the word "fuckery", I for some reason picture the GOP. So... "kinky fuckery"? Well thank you, movie; THAT IMAGE is in my head now.

[@theMadCEHMist]

I've never clicked on a Midnight Screenings vid so quickly. Yaaaaaaaaas.

[@AHChelseAH]

"Best Man Christmas Party".. Thanks Sarah, now that's going to be coming out this November.

[@dodson43]

Team Snob is a awesome group of friends, all you guys are awesome for taking bullets for us like this "film".

[@cg-rf7lo]

Between the first one coming out the same weekend as Kingsman & this one coming out the with John Wick 2, this series keeps picking some of the best action movies to smother at the box office. Can't it just compete with a Chipmunks sequel like every other blockbuster?

[@KatStratsDouble]

After reading Sarah's tweets, I have been waiting for this video with as much excitement I have been waiting for the Lego Batman Movie.

[@Rikku147]

omg yes. Your videos is the only reason i look forward to this cinematic shit.

[@nicolescott89]

wild cats is hilarious haha with the office guy going Right right all the time hahahahah

[@FaeQueenCory]

You KNOW that 50 Shades Blacker is going to happen. The Scary Movies stopped making money for forever and there's thousands of those!

[@DH1986]

Scary Movie 5 grossed 75 million on a budget of $20 million. Not really a hit, but it didn't lose.

[@MyssBlewm]

I love Brad and Sarah reviews, especially when they don't like it. BTW my older sister and her girlfriends are excited to see Girls Night Out. I now am imagining my sister and her friends at the movie sitting behind Brian and Dave as they all watch the movie together. 😂 I would join them just to watch Brian and Dave watch the film.

[@MyssBlewm]

Oops I meant Girls' Trip. haha

[@starwarsnerd100]

Psst. Brad. If you liked the "kinky fuckery" line, look up Charles Dance reading that excerpt from the book. It is hilarious.

[@JacobKaiju]

Now, I would love to see Sarah's reactions of Color of Night.

[@abyssoffortitude]

"Dave gets in trouble for being so 'DAVE' about stuff" LMAO!!

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Also, I love the Wonder Woman theme she has now. Fight me, nerds.

[@deadcindervela]

I didn't expect the series to get a sequel movie. Though I think it'll probably go down the line as Twilight did. Oh dear it's the new Twilight. 😳

[@billybarnett9518]

It started of as a fan fiction and then the author published it as a book.

[@billybarnett9518]

50 Shades is worse, at least you can call Twilight a love story, 50 Shades isn't in any sense.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Tabby296 We all know that Universal is just going to make the thrid book into two movies. Then again, they don't need to. I'm pretty sure they get a good chunk of money every time someone buys a Minions toy.

[@eccentriccalico9488]

Lmao, my cat was actually watching this video with me for a little bit, and then he tried to friggin attack Brad's face. XD

[@KiraMustDie26]

My theater isn't showing John Wick Chapter 2, but they _are_ showing Fifty Shades Shittier. If FSD does better than John Wick this weekend, I blame them.

[@wompwomp9946]

Spike, Buffy, Vegeta. Was not expecting that. :'D

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

She Dreams of Dragons Vegeta: (After destroying Christian Grey's building) Too bad it's Sunday. Christian Grey would have been dead tomorrow!

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Oh Brad you're such a sweetheart for taking her to this * cackles *

[@jaxparra8168]

5 desperate 45 year old housewives disliked this.

[@taylormanes8113]

i got way too excited when i saw this

[@andyhoov]

I was the only person laughing in the theater when Dakota Johnson splashed her drink in Kim Basinger's face. I was also shocked when the movie ended, I checked the time and saw the movie was a little under 2 hours long. The damn thing felt like a fucking eternity.

[@hadenplouffe3976]

Of fucking course I got an add for the film before this

[@iceastone]

you guys are funny. had me laughing throughout the review.

[@danahimrich4066]

"This movie can completely go fuck itself!" "Are you looking forward to the third one?" "Yes..." LOL. I know the feeling.

[@FlutterGuy121]

50 fanfictions darker. I hate these fucking movies so much. A fundamental misunderstanding of BDSM and thinking it means physical and mental abuse and very illegal contracts.

[@emperorsean1]

i kinda agree with brad wish disney would stop remaking live action adaptations of classics like Beauty and the beast and just re-release the damn original animated movie in cinemas

[@futuremovieactor]

You know which part I wish you guys mentioned? When she quoted Working Girl for no reason other than to say a line of dialogue that her real life mother once said. I could not believe what I was hearing!

[@novemberomori2426]

The ad I got mid way through this was for the Fifty Shades Darker audio book

[@hemmingwayfan]

There's a video of Charles Dance reading the book, when he gets to the line "kinky fuckery" it's actually kind of awesome.

[@Madchris8828]

It's movies like this that make me GLAD I'm single lol

[@stranget92]

If you want to see some good recent erotic thrillers Brad, I recommend both "THE DUKE OF BURGUNDY" and "THE HANDMAIDEN" ;)

[@QuikVidGuy]

Saying "Fuck this movie. HARD." may or may not be a reference

[@koenvandamme6901]

Brad's face in the thumbnail is the same reaction I had when I walked into the theater yesterday and saw this sack of crap was being played on 4 of the 11 screens.

[@GundamWarrior1]

I'm with Brad. Beauty and the Beast IS THE SAME GOD DAMN MOVIE!

[@petercap6568]

The only thing I disagree in this video is your opinion of the new Jungle Book. Totally relevant right? Idk if you saw that one or not but it's actually closer to the book and has a different structure than the animated film and imo I like it much more. I hope Kong Skull Island or Logan beats this BaTB remake at the box office, kinda doubt it.

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

I wasn't crazy about The Jungle Book, but it did do some things differently, more than I gave it credit for in the original review. The new Beauty and the Beast doesn't look like an adaptation, it looks like a straight up shot for shot remake. I could be wrong though.

[@petercap6568]

Stoned Gremlin Productions Yeah Jungle Book is the only one I give a shit about out of these so far. Did you see the Kong Skull Island trailer attached to any of these movies? Just curious

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

Hell yes, I'm super excited for that one.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Stoned Gremlin Productions The new Beauty and the Beast is supposed to have new songs in it and there are a lot of small scenes in the trailers that certainly weren't in the animated film, such as a shot of Paris. Plus Gaston is a soldier in this one.

[@discountcritic9537]

Brad, they DO make some major changes/additions in the BatB movie. I read the spoilers from the novelization of the 2017 BatB screenplay. I won't go into detail, but they are pretty bad changes that harm the moral and message of the movie. Disney is, once again, harming the artistic integrity of the original film. =(

[@NeoSaturos123]

17:25 That "hole prison" was actually not in India, but in Morocco apparently. As people pointed out (commenters on a video of the prison escape scene responding to people asking what the chanting means to be specific) the other prisoners were speaking the Arabic dialect from Morocco.

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

#ActualLee

[@NeoSaturos123]

I love that guy. Any other famous Actuals I should know about?

[@dabiskitt]

50 shades of black, 50 shades blacker, and 50 shades emancipated

[@No1ofConsequence]

You know what movie I find people have forgotten about but is similiar to these movies? (And I find was way sexier and interesting) Sliver. A movie from 1993 with Sharon Stone and William Baldwin. A bit underrated in my opinion and way better to watch than these films.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Jack D I might want to look that movie up.

[@No1ofConsequence]

Like Brad was saying in the video, it is from the era of both bad and good erotic thrillers. While critics savaged it back in the day, I still find it enjoyable. Especially with how the voyeur fetish that is explored in the film kinda relates more to modern times better than it did back in the day.

[@joshdea7]

Jack D , interesting fact, Sliver is based on a book written by the same author who wrote Rosemary's Baby and Stepford Wives. Haven't seen that movie in a long time, can't even remember if it's any good.

[@No1ofConsequence]

That is interesting. Did not know that.

[@CMY187]

I have to say I'm glad that the 50 Shades books exist. Otherwise there would never be a video of Charles Dance reading them.

[@familytherapy4888]

I was looking forward to this as the second book was my favourite. The first half of the book was great (the movie felt lacking in the scenes, I think this is the overall feel of what's going on and how rushed they felt) then like the movie it felt rushed at the end. The writing though keeps you much more enthralled. Kinda like Twilight, the books this was based on you are entranced by the writing and it's not until you get to the end you realise how lacking the story is but read it again anyway.

[@AlaskaRS]

Gotta agree with Brad, I'm not a fan of the disney live actions. The originals were perfect and can be left alone. It just feels like they're just cashing in on nostalgia for easy box office success.

[@erichhess]

now I want to see Vegeta fight Christian grey.