Midnight Screenings: "Noah"

[@pimeconejones7238]

Shit we forgot Ham... Now this needs a sequel: "Ham Alone 2: Lost in Sumeria"

[@doofarce]

54:38 "I would love to see Darren Aronofsky just keep making weird bible movies" How prescient!

[@Geospasmic]

I don't think Noah is a religious movie, I think it's a fantasy movie. It's not meant to convince anybody or preach (unless you count the ecology message), it's a stylized retelling of the Great Flood which treats it as a myth, with elements of different versions of the story mixed with scifi. It's like a biblical Clash Of The Titans.

[@inotaishu1]

It is totally a religious movie and fits straight into the biblical morality, to a degree, it seemed to me as if the makers did not know with what sort of morality system they wanted to go because to be frank: Noah seems no better than the people that allegedly deserve to die.

[@alexandredesbiens-brassard9109]

inotaishu1 The guy who made this movie is not Christian. He's Jewish. He's usng the Jewish version of the Noah story to tell another story about the ineffability of God.

[@skirk248]

noah: I need advice let's ask Gradpa Hannibal

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Spock Kirk More like if Odin were Ben Kenobi.

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Is it bad this makes me want to see Noah MORE?

[@1987MartinT]

+AtticWarrior1994 Not at all. If you wanna watch it then watch it.

[@WTFisTingispingis]

+1987MartinT I just saw it, I do not regret what I witnessed. I want Anthony Hopkins channeling Alec Guiness crossed with a stoner *more* in things.

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

Noah = Bible written by Michael Bay. Noah = Optimus Prime in depression/denial. God = Megatron having a lot more fun.

[@9-bitfox]

Fox: I wanna see methusala's movie lol

[@fahdchoudry7763]

Those Rock monsters scared me the first couple of scenes I saw them.

[@Geospasmic]

Definitely the best part.

[@Azrael666Azazel]

I wonder why noah didn't go with the traditional idea that Nephilim are the offspring of angels and humans.

[@caliatom]

+Azrael666Azazel I think maybe it was combining some stuff from like, the Kabbalah and other stuff like that in with the actual Biblical stuff?

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

In the beginning there was Starscream!

[@danielyoung6778]

Alexandre Martins am I the only one who really wanted to see him win as a kid

[@RollingStone501]

Yeah this is probably my favorite bad movie because its so insane. But it also made me realize that Emma Watson now sucks in movies so I guess its okay.

[@IgnatiusThorogood]

Now I wish Irving would gate-crash more reviews.

[@tuschman168]

21:28 Best summation of that story ever!

[@PittHelge]

27:15 bwhahahahhaa

[@WTFisTingispingis]

God damn it Brian

[@weldin]

So you have this guy, who lives to be 900, and then when he's 500 he has three kids. Then, at 600, he builds a giant boat and gathers over 8 million animals. All of these animals happen be in a 10 mile radius.

[@troyterry6919]

+Cinestar Productions He would have only had to have gathered about 100,000 animals since a dog, fox, wolf, and coyote all had a common ancestor. Micro-evolution happens- evolution within family groups. If you only have to grab a pair of wolf-ancestors as opposed to a wolf, coyote, fox, dog, and several others, then it becomes a lot easier to collect all the land animals. And if you study the apocryphal records out there it becomes clear that Noah and his family weren't the only righteous people on Earth at this time. Enoch built a city and people were supposed to have been translated up to the city up until the time of the Flood. So Noah probably had hundreds of people helping him collect animals and build the ark up until the time of the Flood, at which point God took them up to the city of Enoch. Sea shells found across the entire world, whale remains found in Michigan, whales carcasses found in the high Andes, every culture has a great flood legend, sunken cities off the coasts of all continents of the world suggesting the oceans were lower in ancient times. All the while, science still tries to figure out explanations for these things when the reason is quite obvious to anyone who has heard the story of Noah.

[@weldin]

Troy Terry Animals could not evolve that quickly in a couple thousand years. That's like saying humans and the chimps could have evolved from the same animals in a couple thousand years. That's just two species that are also very similar! Whale remains and such can be found because those areas were once part of the ocean. A lot of places on the east coast of the US were underwater for a long time and so you won't find fossils from something like a T-Rex, but you could find a fossil from something like a whale ancestor. Saying we have all the answers in a book is the biggest shame we can have.

[@KurenaiNanashi]

@@troyterry6919 Bible contradicts on the number of animals on the ark and it’s pretty clear in the Bible that the animals went to him cause Yahweh commanded it. Also not every culture has a world flood myth. It’s just the ones that were located in places where it flooded. We already know the Noah story never happened cause there’s things in the world older then when the flood supposedly happened and many civilizations were thriving 4000 years ago

[@troyterry6919]

@@KurenaiNanashi that was the dumbest thing I have ever read. If you actually studied how science comes to its conclusions, you wouldn't believe it. And yes. There are over 600 flood accounts in legends and writings, most talking about a worldwide flood.

[@KurenaiNanashi]

@@troyterry6919 and those legends are in places that floods occur many times. so which parts are you contesting to be wrong? if you say which ones then ill provide you proof as to why theyre true also its funny how you bring up science since 1. i never mentioned science in my comment and 2. science does indeed show a worldwide flood NEVER happened 4000 years ago

[@ecojosh1]

Tim Burton should make a Noah movie with Johnny Depp as Noah.

[@mrbanks456]

I think I NOAH guy

[@shortpettite]

If I recall it's the Cain and Able story: One gave wheat I think and the other gave a sheep however the wheat was favored because he gave of his best while Cain did not. So Cain kills Able God marks Cain you get the idea.

[@caliatom]

+Nicole Joyner It was the Cain and Able story, but you reversed who gave what. Cain gave the kind of mediocre wheat, while Able sacrificed a really nice lamb. And the other story David and his friends were eating vegetables and water as a kind of protest over not being allowed to follow Jewish dietary restrictions, since the other choice was eating pork and wine for every meal.

[@MoisesCharles]

It's in like, the third chapter of the Bible. And you are waaaaay off.

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

Armadillo Dog... don't mix science and religion. Doesn't work.They are and will forever be polar opposites. Either the world is 6700 years old or so, and you can peel through the curtain of night, or the universe is 12 billion years old or so and Noah is just a myth common to several other religions. Take your pick.

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

+Eren Jaegar Agreed. And that's the best we can do, just laugh it off. A creationist once told me Noah put dinossaur eggs in the ark, that's how he managed to fit all of them there. XD

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

Rock Transformers Nephillim! Hurray for post-modern Bible stories!!! (and, apart from Ten Commandments, I don't even like Bible stories... and I like 10C because it's a good movie!)

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

+Eren Jaegar Yeah, I'd really like to watch that movie!

[@mariovalle198]

This is why atheist like me shouldn't make Biblical movies

[@troyterry6919]

+Mario V. Salazar You'd probably do better than most of the Christians out there at making religious movies.

[@MoisesCharles]

Brad's team watches like, every religious movie and yet don't know anything about the Bible. Don't even know what the story of Cain and Abel was. Certainly doesn't know who Shem, Ham, Japheth, or Tubal-cain is. Which is fine on its own, but... like I said, they're watching like, every religious movie and talking about them.

[@MonklynMaine]

Shows how bad those movies are at imparting anything of value.

[@9-bitfox]

Fox: I wanna see methusala's movie lol

[@1987MartinT]

+9-BitFox I hope he does Samson, David, or Solomon next.

[@9-bitfox]

Fox: Would be cool, especially Solomon if they have Solomon's ring and how in the story's he could control Demons/Genies