Miriam Grossman | Thinking Deeply About Gender Ideology | Psychology Is Podcast 63

[@smooth_pursuit]

Bravo for covering this 👏

[@Aquarius7172]

Thank you for talking about this. A therapists whole job is to discover WHY the person is identifying as another sex or cat or dog or whatever. It's the whole point of their job. I'm blown away that their guidance is to simply affirm. The sad reality is stating any of this puts me into a far right trump supporter and transphobic! It's mind blowing

[@katieandnick4113]

Oh, nice!

[@katieandnick4113]

I think that, in most cases, what is referred to as “gender dysphoria” has little to nothing to do with sex at all. I think these people are suffering deeply for other reasons, and that they have been presented this explanation for their suffering as well as a solution for it. There are pretty rare cases of girls and boys who have been very gender non conforming from a very young age(long before puberty), and these are the kids who would benefit from being told that they can be whatever kind of girl or boy they want to be. In fact, I think this kind of legitimate gender dysphoria was probably on the down swing up until gender ideology took hold of western society about 10 years ago. But yes, what I think is causing this new “gender dysphoria”(that’s not actually gender dysphoria) are a combination of the significant distress that many people have always felt while going through adolescence and a lack of IRL peer validation and support. I do not think that identity issues during adolescence are natural, though they may be quite normal, but rather, I think they are the result of rejection by the mother that children(usually girls) have been subjected to for probably thousands of years. It is an unconscious rejection that the mother is not aware of and the child cannot verbalize or even acknowledge. It is preemptive, in an unconscious effort to avoid the rejection the mother believes she will endure when her daughter becomes a woman. Patriarchy sought to destroy the most important human relationship that exists, and has been quite successful in doing so. Imagine a girl being loved and adored by her mother when she is a small child, and as soon as she begins showing signs of physical puberty, her mother panics(again, unconsciously) because she expects that as soon as her daughter becomes a woman, she(the daughter)will begin to judge her(the mother) and see her for who she really is. Such a woman was conditioned to see herself as very bad by her own mother, and her constant, unconscious fear is that this will be discovered. Imagine what that feels like to a 12 year old girl to go from being her mother’s primary source of validation of herself as wonderful and even godlike, to the greatest threat to her mother’s ego. To be clear, I am in no way blaming mothers for this. We are all products of our circumstances. A woman must endure so much pain in relation to her own mother in order to fear her own daughter in this way. I think it’s a fair assessment that women are generally much more judgmental than men and that we are particularly hard on each other, so it makes sense for women to sort of fear other women’s judgements. But the fear of this judgement can become intolerable when we believe ourselves to be evil, deep down. Historically, adolescent females had peers, and particularly male peers, to turn to for validation and acceptance when they were rejected by their mothers. But over the last 15 years, most girls have lost this. Their male peers have been sickened by early pornography exposure, to the point that they are not capable of validating their female peers, so these girls turn to the internet for explanations as to why they are suffering and why they feel so uncomfortable in their bodies. I think trans has been so effective because it actually is true, in a sense, that their womanhood(or burgeoning womanhood) is the reason they are suffering. If they could just be boys, their mothers would not have rejected them. Of course, they don’t think consciously about it like this, because they have been so effectively conditioned to believe that mothers are unconditionally accepting of their children. And even when their mothers do end up rejecting them or their identity after they have come out, well, then they can blame their transness for why they are being rejected, which probably hurts a lot less than blaming their womanhood and their nature. Like, it feels better to believe their mother hates them because they are trans rather than that she hates them because they are female. I think that the cause of “gender dysphoria” in teen boys who were not very gender non conforming little boys is more multifaceted. Pornography likely plays a significant role, but I also think that males are more naturally prone to identity issues than females are. Plus, despite what many feminists believe, i think there is more pressure on males to fit into gender roles than there is on females, and I think that patriarchy forces males to abandon/repress their humanity to a far greater extent than it does females. Masculinity is generally more accepted among females than femininity is among males, and I’m sure all of the pressure on males gets to them and causes a lot of confusion. I personally believe that all humans naturally lean more stereotypically feminine(kind, compassionate, generous, connected, perceptive)than masculine(dominant, detached, greedy, aggressive, unemotional), and that this is a big reason why gender identity disorder was always far more prevalent among males than females until 10-15 years ago. Maybe what we refer to as masculine traits are really just trauma responses to living in a very unnatural way, and the reason men tend to be much more masculine than women is that boys and men are more traumatized under patriarchy than girls and women.

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