Miscellaneous Myths: The Minotaur

Ah, Theseus. Athens' favorite trash man. Let's talk about someone a little more interesting - literally anyone involved in this story will do.
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[@ailimarie]

Theory: someone who hated the minoans saw all their bull iconography, called them bull fuckers, and the joke got WAY out of hand

[@MCArt25]

i mean their favorite sport was basically bull rodeo so it wasn't really hard to make that joke

[@Tustin2121]

This reminds me of how Prince Achmed just wants his tiger. His army even put on a song for him about it.

[@Changeling6562]

@@Tustin2121 All hail Achmed the tigerfucker

[@charlesclinton3305]

Sounds like it was a regular Athenian insult hurled at anyone from Crete.

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Sounds about right

[@artemiswolf4508]

Decapitating the Minotaur sucks because unlike other monster you can’t really show it of as a trophy. “And this is the head of the Minotaur, half man half bull monstrosity that ate humans in a labyrinth” “Dude that’s a cow”

[@kryptonianguest1903]

No, it's not! Here's the rest of his body. Dude, that's a dude.

[@timothymclean]

How would _you_ turn it into a trophy? Cut off its whole torso?

[@z.j.karasik9601]

@@timothymclean cut it down the middle

[@timothymclean]

@@z.j.karasik9601 Vertically or horizontally?

[@crazeelazee7524]

@@timothymclean yes

[@calico_queen8976]

Can you just imagine Ariadne's face as she watches her ex's life go downhill while she's chilling at a rave party her immortal husband's hosting?

[@MatsuoTanuki]

Ariadne: "Tragic." *dainty sip of Olympian nectar and Bacchanal wine cocktail*

[@airmanon7213]

@Mullerornis Care to explain why? I don't know about the Scythian gods myself.

[@lorendaemon7945]

@@airmanon7213 it doesn't look like we know a lot about the Scythian pantheon, but apparently they did have their version of Hestia as the Queen of the gods so that probably speaks well

[@darkherculeskabuterimon7203]

@@lorendaemon7945 Because Hestia is part of the Virgen Trio, because she's the goddess the home & hearth, or because she's basically the Greek god equivalent of the stereotypical 'everyone's favorite aunt'?

[@lorendaemon7945]

@@darkherculeskabuterimon7203 it's the first one I feel like the peaceful god of the hearth being queen says good things about what the culture valued I guess

[@theweirdgamer4073]

Ah yes, the Minotaur, the first cowboy.

[@monhunterz5430]

Firstly, I'm pretty sure i read this before on tumblr Secondly, HOW DARE YOU!!!

[@theweirdgamer4073]

@@monhunterz5430 mwahahahaha >:)

[@unseenmonster4506]

I mean he isnt wrong his he

[@theweirdgamer4073]

@@unseenmonster4506 Nope and here is another shower thought that I'm pretty sure no one thought of. Therapist, are just vent doctors.

[@unseenmonster4506]

@@theweirdgamer4073 ... We have 2 minutes to live, but when we breathe the timer resets.

[@Scream_Lord]

Red: "Stop boning animals!" Loki: *currently a mare about to be impregnated by a horse* Huh?

[@siberiandante]

Loki: I'll pretend I didn't hear that

[@kortmann9]

Loki does as he/she/they pleases... Even if it is pretty messed up.

[@campeonjpm9105]

JRHNBR

[@oracle8535]

He freaking fathered a snake the size of the world.

[@violet5018]

Excuse me *what-*

[@juanmanuelpenaloza9264]

Could you imagine the Minotaur and Icarus having a chat like just: Icarus: "So apparently the only reason we're in here is because my dad made a fursuit for your mom." Minotaur: "So does that make us brothers?" Icarus: "I don't know... maybe."

[@carlosroo5460]

I think more like uncle and nephew.

[@Nazuiko]

That makes them step-cousins, at best; but really just "You're the son of my dad's boss."

[@aphato2770]

@@Nazuiko what are you doing step-cousin

[@Hazyla]

Ta Ba **dies**

[@Undomaranel]

@@Nazuiko Make that "my dad's boss's wife's affair son." The minotaur isn't descended from Minos, though arguably there is a bloodline connection through Poseidon that makes the minotaur and Minos somewhat half brothers or cousins.

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

5:40 "Stop boning animals" Zeus: "No, I don't think I will"

[@EveryoneElseIsWeirdImNormal]

No Zeus is the animal

[@ombreflowers6871]

Just Some Guy without a Mustache omg you’re here too?

[@gonzaloolivera1954]

gotta say, you so have a nice taste in content XD

[@fullmetaltheorist]

Hey its the guy from the thing

[@krankarvolund7771]

Surprisingly, Zeus boned no animals, only humans.... He however was a alot of animals XD

[@murataubakir8437]

"Forced oceanic trade" "Also known as piracy" Lmao I'm dying.

[@RedXlV]

This channel has some of the best euphemisms for piracy. This one might've been even better than "involuntary treasure reallocation".

[@DanialTarki]

“Organized seafaring theft”

[@Peteman]

Pasiphaë: "I want to commission you to make me a fake cow suit so I can get close to my husband's divine bull. Do you think you can swing it, or is it too weird for you?" Daedalus: "Lady, this wouldn't even crack the top ten in weirdest fetish crap people have wanted me to build."

[@redwitch12]

Ah, the curse of being the greatest inventor in the world. Not only do you have to keep dodging the tyrannical kings who want you to build them torture devices and complicated palaces, you keep getting calls from people who are determined to satisfy their kinks at all costs.

[@zeeb2190]

@@redwitch12 it's a shame he didn't anticipate Minos being an asshole

[@MrDalisclock]

One presumes he charges extra for weird kink shit.

[@Jess-pe8bq]

redwitch12 or the kinky tyrants who want both

[@VelvetCondoms]

@@MrDalisclock Better weird kink shit than the fucked up torture devices for tyrannical kings. Hell, given the budget differences, I wouldn't be surprised if the kings got the extra charges.

[@1313fina]

My headcanon: Dionysus made Theseus's love life a misery because he ditched Ariadne on an island.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

He probably give Eros monney to make Theseus love life horrible

[@CJCroen1393]

I can certainly see that.

[@masodemic4509]

@@despinasgarden.4100 He bribed Eros with booze cuz Aphrodite wouldn't let him have any. He's too young.

[@pleaseenteraname6590]

@@masodemic4509 I love this SO MUCH

[@Grim_Sister]

Headcanon approved

[@dylantennant6594]

Meanwhile Loki: I screwed a horse and spend a year pregnant to save Asgard. It was horrible (crying like a baby). Zeus and Poseidon: Our people do it for fun. Loki (crying harder) Make it stop! Make it stop!

[@justanotheryoutubecommente2]

I've never heard of horse Loki before today. I really want to hear Red tell this myth next

[@dynamicworlds1]

So we don't want to remind Loki that Odin is _riding_ his kid?

[@dylantennant6594]

@@justanotheryoutubecommente2 It was alluded to in The Prose Edda episode, but she didnt go into full detail.

[@dylantennant6594]

@@dynamicworlds1 Depends, do you have a death wish? Because he can make that happen, death is his daughter.

[@viktor681]

Just Another KZbin Commenter there’s actually a bunch of comments on the Prose Edda video about it. What Red said was “ so Loki does his thing” what Red means is “ so Loki get chased by the horse and gets pregnant”.

[@insertclevernamehere1186]

I wonder, why did Minos not just, you know, breed the bull with his cows and THEN sacrifice it? High quality offspring and Poseidon still gets his bull back.

[@mutantmaster1]

Zeus, horndog that he is, frowns upon killing your family members, so he might have been trying to avoid a celestial SMITE

[@insertclevernamehere1186]

@@mutantmaster1 Breed the *original* bull *with his cows* for high quality *livestock* offspring.

[@misselizabethplays8070]

Because, he is an idiot. I'd cite examples of this but you pretty much have all the evidence you need right here in this video.

[@highlyopinionated5611]

Because if Minos was smart, there wouldn't be a story.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

How exactly did Minos become a judge of the dead, again? He always seemed like an utter ass to me. Why would Hades have him in that position?

[@NxTTxT]

"so aphrodite made his wife fall in love with a bull" oh no "but then the bull has standards and politely says no" oh okay thank god "but then the wife decides to put on a cow costume" OH *_NOOOOOOO_*

[@nonnayerbusiness7704]

Oh MOOOOO

[@FunnyFany]

panik, kalm, PANIK

[@Drakin292]

Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people.

[@janaterbio8010]

I love the fact that the bull has standards, it's makes me all happy!

[@LittleMissRequiem]

jocontemporary It could be worse. Red never mentioned how exactly the Aloadae (see the “Ares’ Abduction” video) were conceived, but... well, let’s just say you may think twice about going to the beach ever again after you hear the full details.

[@devanskrobarcek2013]

Funfact about Ariadne there is the depiction of how Ariadne become a goddess and it’s quite interesting Basically she was traveling with dionysus spreading his cult but king Perseus accidentally turned her to stone (using Medusa head) and was smashed and dionysus was so heart broken he begged hades to let him bring her back and ask Zeus to make her a goddess And to all those saying how happy and faithful the marriage is there is a story about that Basically Ariadne suspected dionysus was cheating on her and cried on a beach then dionysus told her it wasn’t the case and to prove it he turned her wedding crown into a constellation

[@masodemic4509]

THEY'RE SO CUTE I'M GONNA SCREAM

[@duckvenger3628]

Hey there! I know yah wrote this comment a little while ago, but would you know a video/website/etc I could go to for further reading into this story of Ariadne being turned to stone? I'm trying to write a few short stories of the Greek Gods and would love to include tales of Dionysus and Ariadne's love, so I wanna take any chance I can get to learn more about them. Thank you! :D

[@yesyouarecorrect1315]

did... did you get this source from a fanfic called "Drunk on Love"? It sounds so similar. And im not tryna sound smart, nor ruining the fun, but didnt Dionysus/Aphrodite turn Ariadne's crown after their marriage? I mean, it _is_ a wedding crown after all.

[@devanskrobarcek2013]

@@yesyouarecorrect1315 no I found about this story after scrolling through the link I post above researching for a project for school but I’m interested in that fanfic can u link it to me

[@devanskrobarcek2013]

@@yesyouarecorrect1315 and I honestly would be surprised if there is major similarities between the fanfic and the story cause a lot of people would read a story and fill in the blank for add there own twist in fanfics

[@fullmetaltheorist]

"I need a cow suit" "Why" *"Recreational purposes?"* "Seems legit."

[@aellin-jz9el]

People who do commissions for a living be like

[@void_wyrm]

Ahh, yes, like all poor comission artists, they do not question the kinky shit they are commissioned to do

[@BandanaDrummer95]

Commission artist: "By recreational purposes what do you mean? How big do the holes need to be and where do they need to line up?"

[@camramaster]

Judge nothing, keep an open mind, and make sure to drink a lot of alcohol while making whatever to temove inhebitions.

[@PhantomObserver]

"By the way -- I charge a reasonable premium for no questions asked. Also, I have expenses. You'll have to give me the tools and materials I need." Later ... "Dad, where did these feathers come from?" "I was using them for padding for the inside of the Queen's cow suit. Rough leather on bare skin's not really nice, son." "Same with the wax?" "Yep." "So why are they in the middle of this labyrinth?" "Because King Minos is too cheap to buy extra storage space in his castle."

[@fireflyeclipse]

There’s something that makes sense about a goddess of mazes ending up with the god of madness and wine

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

Ikr

[@sramtae5820]

Dyonisus, drunk af: honey I'm homeee Ariadne, also drunk: hey sweetie, i turned the house into a laberinth

[@jacobsheehan9715]

@@sramtae5820 everyone else: why? Them: why not?

[@luckywolf8171]

One of the most functional and crazy couples out there

[@alljammedup6781]

Spiral Vibes

[@evilcow666]

I love how Minos is the only person in Greece whos a jerk because he didn't kill something

[@elijahpadilla5083]

It's more that he killed the wrong thing.

[@kosiak10851]

@@elijahpadilla5083 It's not a killing. Minotaur did all the murders.

[@elijahpadilla5083]

@@kosiak10851 The wrong bull. He sacrificed the wrong bull.

[@kylepessell1350]

A god basically gives him the crown and he decides to try cheating said god by offering a sacrifice of lesser quality while keeping the beautiful bull as a trophy of sorts. That's pretty lame since Poseidon didn't ask for much as all and Minos is so greedy that he's willing to go back on the one promise he made.

[@michaelfruetel273]

@@kosiak10851 That doesn't really absolve Minos. He still orchestrated the killings, which would (I believe) make him guilty of something along the lines of conspiracy to commit murder. (Any lawyers in the room are more than welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.)

[@uria3679]

Who would be interested in Red covering the myths where Nyx scares Zeus because he was chasing Hypno, the myth where Nezha beats up the Dragon Kings, or the myth where Amaterasu and her husband/brother go on date which ends up getting a Food Goddess killed?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I would like to hear more myths about the titan's

[@akechijubeimitsuhide]

Linfamy did that! (about Amaterasu):D

[@hellocentral5551]

That would be awesome. I would like that.

[@gormauslander]

All of the above

[@idkanymore12]

My top myths I hope she will eventually cover! Typical mythical shenanigans

[@Fubukio]

Red: "STOP BONING ANIMALS!" Greeks: "NO PROMISES!"

[@drretard0343]

Yes indeed. *Oh wait but I am Greek...* *Fuck*

[@drag0fek0]

@@drretard0343 than a furry you shall be !

[@Reishadowen]

*New Zealand has entered the chat*

[@thetuguar]

Yeah, who are they supposed to bone? Women?

[@RandomThoughtsFromEll]

And the Welsh.

[@lordofinnistrad8757]

Fun fact: Dionysus references Theseus ditching Ariadne in Hades.

[@lissaquon607]

Posideon also apologizes at one point for the Minotaur. He refuses to explain just says its a a long and boring story.

[@whatgsaid]

I SCREAMED when I saw it come up in the game super casually.

[@ForrestFox626]

Supergiant Games did their research

[@atotalfiasco4213]

Theseus says something too if you have the yarn of ariadne on you in his fight

[@alyseleem2692]

@@lissaquon607 ........ Some say he's actually his son.... Anyway,he's the cause behind his existence, at least.

[@nawf4372]

Fun fact: It may seem weird that the child of a herbivore and an omnivore is exclusively a carnivore, when its head is very much the herbivore, but in reality cows are opportunistic carnivores. This means they mostly eat plants, but if the opportunity presents itself, they will eat a living creature. This is commonly seen on farms when a baby chick wonders in the cow field and gets gobbled up. Presumably, the Minotaur's "unique" birth cause a mutation that made plants unappetizing to its pallet, so it only at people. Or it total did eat plants, but being locked in a laberyth didn't give it much opportunity to eat anything except what Minos gave him.

[@david18cruz1989]

also if he probrably didint have 3 stomachs to digest just plants

[@giboi03]

**whispers** *The minotaur is just Melon from Beastars*

[@ghostgabe81]

Reminds me of the Fate version of the Minotaur. Asterios isn't really villainous but he's locked in a Labyrinth and the only edible thing down there is people... bull's gotta eat

[@nnamdiodiaka6684]

So Troy McClure was right when he said “If a cow ever got the chance he'd kill you and everyone you ever cared about”

[@kylepessell1350]

Strangely enough, exactly how much and which parts of the Minotaur are bull / human can vary greatly depending on the source. The widely held belief today that the Minotaur had the head of a bull and the rest of it was human wasn't nearly so widely held back then so it is totally possible that his appearance was quite different in the original.

[@merrittanimation7721]

Fun fact?: You know Phaedra from the myth of Hippolytus? That's Ariadne's sister. *Theseus abandoned a girl and then married her gods damned sister*

[@kaykeunil]

Huh this does not surprise me in the least since Theseus has no brain usually

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Honestly? He deserved being trapped by Hades in the underworld, not to mention is he's fault he's son died.

[@JoshtheOverlander]

@@despinasgarden.4100 Really didn't deserve to be freed, tbh

[@alasdeangel3929]

Ancient Greece, everyone!!

[@oracle8535]

And then kidnapped Helen when he was bored of Ariadne's sister.

[@Kelaiah01]

Headcanon: I read that Dionysus "dies" during the winter and is "reborn" in the spring to symbolize how grapes wither in winter and then bloom in spring. I also read a theory that Dionysus and Hestia "trade off" the 12th Olympian seat, with Dionysus sitting in it during spring/summer and Hestia during fall/winter. Add to that the fact that one of the versions of Dionysus is the son of Persephone, as well as the fact that Dionysus also has oracular powers, and here's my idea: Whenever Persephone leaves to go back to the Underworld, Dionysus goes with her, and he throws lavish parties there for her and Hades. Ariadne would also go along, being the wife of Dionysus. So I imagine a scene of Hades, Persephone, Dionysus and Ariadne all hanging out, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, making merry and whatnot, when all of a sudden, Dionysus' oracular powers kick in, and he's able to warn Hades and Persephone of Theseus and Pirithous coming to kidnap Persephone. So when Thes and Piri arrive, Hades has a trap in store for them... and after the two men are stuck on the rock, Ariadne "reunites" with her old flame Theseus... and promptly points at him and laughs her head off. Later on, when Dionysus and Ariadne come back to the Underworld, they hear about how Heracles rescued Theseus. At first, Ariadne is disappointed that Theseus' suffering has ended... only to get yet another laugh when she finds out Theseus' butt was left behind on the rock. XD

[@spencertang5155]

Yyyikes Theseus can’t catch a break… served him right I guess for leaving ariadne behind like a jerk but still.

[@artimuos903]

But Hercules saved Theseus and Theseus also married to Hippolyta(Wonder Woman's mom). Also headcanon Dionysus favorite demigod is Percy a son of Poseidon.

[@goatgeta6549]

Also kinda works with the myth of Zagreus being reborn as Dionysus because Zagreus was a son of Hades and Persephone

[@beruktsehaye1018]

@@artimuos903 Percy isn't a real demigod from the myths. He's a character made by Rick Riordan and in the books Dionysus hates him with a passion. But if you're talking about Perseus the one in the mythos then he's not the son of Poseidon but instead a son of Zeus (Like every hero in Greek mythology).

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

@@artimuos903 Actually, in the Percy Jackson novels, Dionysus has a bit of an irrational dislike for Percy, because Theseus was also a son of Poseidon, and Percy reminds him of him...

[@shotoboppin9227]

I can just imagine someone in Greece going “Woah my child is a demigod. Who’s the father?” Then she finds out that it’s Zeus and she’s just like “oh ok whatever”

[@JoshtheOverlander]

Zeus may be king of the gods, but having your child turn out to be sired by him is like the biggest disappointment. At least if your sugar daddy was Dionysus, you can expect your son to be a heckin' good party animal.

[@shotoboppin9227]

JoshtheOverlander I agree, finding out that your child is Zeus’s is like “ yay, my child will turn out being a pedophile

[@combine1175]

Hera looms over her with murderous eyes, because justice isn't in her vocabulary.

[@tobistein6639]

"Looks like Little Jimmy down the street has a new half-brother. I'll tell them to prep a seat at Demigods Anonymous for a couple years from now."

[@s67and13]

@@tobistein6639 You seriously underestimate how quickly demigods age.

[@JordanGold5227]

"Stop boning animals" A moral one wouldn't think need be stated, but here we are.

[@SM-qv2om]

Thought that was just common sense

[@raezad]

Furries go a looooong way back

[@JordanGold5227]

@@raezad Furry doesn't equal bestiality.

[@Drakin292]

@@raezad As I said in another comment, "Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people."

[@sailiealquadacil1284]

There was a case recently in our city - horse owners were warned that there was this sicko around who'd break into stables at night and rape horses in their boxes. This can seriously traumatise and even kill them (depending on their size). Thankfully, it seems they caught that bastard.

[@mera-mori]

“Forced oceanic trade”...”also know as piracy” Not gonna lie I laughed a bit to much.... Edit: Thank you for the attention fellow _beings_

[@Inconsolable_Weeb]

It’s a very sarcastic joke :3

[@D00000T]

It’s not stealing, it’s just forced gifting

[@angiepagan535]

An overly sarcastic one :)

[@comicstrider4851]

*_B R A N D I N G_*

[@merrittanimation7721]

Otherwise known as "freelance trading"

[@parkerbarnett6684]

Red: Theseus is best boy! Me: ...you sure about that- Red: *immediately shows list of fuck ups going off the page* Me: There it is.

[@lemeres2478]

Best out of the boys of Athens, at least.

[@tiringsarcasm]

@@lemeres2478 I’d pick Alcibiades over him any day.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

Of course he’s best boy! An Athenian kidnapping a Spartan (Helen’s original home) automatically makes him the best boy! Hmm. Actually, I wonder why the Spartans always get a bad rep… oh, yeah. Athens wrote all the stories. Right.

[@christopherfleetwood5252]

Laughs in Zagreus!

[@parkerbarnett6684]

@@christopherfleetwood5252 “Asterius. Other Guy.”

[@fashioni.star.]

Last time I was this early, Zeus had just promised to be faithful to Hera Which was never. I’ve never been this early.

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

The Story of Io: *am I a joke to you*

[@OwenOfElliott]

He did make that promise. He just didn't keep it

[@Michelle-iq2yp]

Mood

[@khizarkhan4250]

Same

[@thundergozon6439]

Oh, he promised alright. Just, you know, didn't deliver

[@kiptheott5932]

Can we get a little more info about that "Ariadne may have been a Cretan goddess" thing?

[@Sunkuwong]

There is a mycenaean goddess named Mistress of the Labyrinth. Nothing is known about her. That's about as much as I know. I have some short stories about Mycenaean gods and how they're forgotten, but they're mostly baseless and not the best if you're actually trying to learn, since the source material is nonexistent.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Ariadne is married to Dionysus, i really want to see a video of them getting toguether

[@thefriesofLockeLamora]

Seconded

[@arandomqueerfanpeep7655]

Please Red give us more

[@m.g.9468]

@@despinasgarden.4100 She is the goddess of labyrinths (aka of having/overcoming orientation problems) married to the god of alcohol (aka getting/beeing drunk). If you have ever problems with orientation or coordination after "worshipping" Dionysus, you pray to his counterpart/wife Ariadne to find your way. Maybe the Kretes had a party game in which you gor drunk and then had to find your way while having your eyes covered or being locked in a dark basement/ tunnel system. Dionysus probably fell in love with her after she helped him getting home after he had a blast. And she fell for him because... oh well he is the god of parties, wouldn't you?

[@ChaserNeos]

You know, the minotaur gets screwed over. I almost sympathize with him: a poor misfit that gets mistreated by his stepfather for looking the way he does and has no healthy, emotional outlet. People forget he has a name. It's Asterius.

[@DragonEmperorMycen]

Chaser Neos consider that this was his reality growing up. Yeah, the minotaur ate men but Asterios didnt ask to be born. When you think about the fact that other than the half monster thing, he probably aged around the same rate as humans, its even more messed up

[@zoushaomenohu]

Not to mention the fact that given his bovine features, a carnitarian diet was probably NOT healthy for him. He has a ruminant head for crying out loud! He needs his greens!

[@jeffbenton6183]

@@zoushaomenohu yeah, but a human stomach. No way he could've digested grass effectively.

[@lucasferreyra777]

read the house of asterion by borges

[@adaritter9597]

He- he does need to eat people to live, though, is the thing

[@augustrempelewert4377]

There's a hilarious side-story to Dionysus and Ariadne's love story. So in-between Dionysus seeing Ariadne on that island and them getting together, a local nymph named Psalacantha approached Dionysus and offered to be his wingman in wooing Ariadne in exchange for sexual favors. Shockingly, Dionysus -- the GREEK GOD OF HEDONISM -- refused this offer. Psalacantha, bitter at being rejected, went and told Ariadne "Hey, don't talk to that drunk god or go anywhere with him, stay away from him" out of spite, so in retaliation Dionysus turned her into a new plant named after herself. Fortunately, Ariadne didn't listen to Psalacantha.

[@frodoswaggins3132]

“It’s biased, filtered, and offset from the source by several centuries” *Screams in historian*

[@blueteller]

Isn't that what all history is like anyway?

[@Vizivirag]

We gotta cook with what ingredients we have. *feels your pain

[@frodoswaggins3132]

BlueTeller unfortunately, yes

[@nekogakuro8486]

the midwife who delivered the minotaur: what in the sweet home alabama is this

[@idkanymore12]

Considering the head usually comes first, that must have been hilarious as hell

[@appelofdoom8211]

Midwife: It’s a cow!?

[@reyonXIII]

Fellow midwife: What's an "Alabama"?

[@TyrannoLime]

appelofdoom This was the founding tale of Alabama, a small nation south of Crete that died quickly, as it was only the two shocked Midwives and a handful of cousin-husbands. However, shortly before the American Southeast was colonized an archaeologist found a depiction of a woman birthing what looked like a cow. The archaeologists assumed it was some form of fertility goddess worship and thought the name Alabama would bring prosperity to one the new colonies in the growing USA. Little did he know it started as an explicative in Ancient Greece.

[@sarafontanini7051]

the minotaur prompty ate the midwife. because he does that. cause he's a bastard.

[@defensivekobra3873]

broke: calling yourself an pirate woke: "i am an merchant that deals in forced oceanic trade"

[@thomasnguyen5197]

the best version of being so woke

[@wrath2501]

You can also use the term "adventure capitalist."

[@CliffCardi]

I prefer “High-Risk Trader”

[@skvaderarts7009]

"Cargo Embargo Redistributor" is the way I like to spin it. Pirate is such a naughty yet accurate way to put it.

[@RavenCloak13]

defenseive kobra So... Privater?

[@arthel8026]

Red: “don’t let languages die kids” Me: *studies Latin harder*

[@jeffbenton6183]

I approve.

[@Thatslifebro_]

I actually don't think Latin will ever truly die, it's too embeded in Law and medicine so there will always be a need for classes and therefore teachers.

[@puddleslime2238]

@@Thatslifebro_ Plus we actually have it recorded very securely now

[@BawonoSA173]

What about ancient Enochian?

[@selenopheria]

Latin wasn't this hard when I was a kid! [studies French and Norwegian at the same time]

[@AzureAiluren]

Just to tack more on the Theseus side of things: Those fourteen Athenian youths? Tribute for a war that Athens lost to Crete, varying mythological justifications abound. The entire story is basically a revenge-fic.

[@gutsmasterson2488]

Make sure your fics are written somewhere that isn’t the internet so you can mess with future archeologists.

[@MrAuthor3DS]

Aren't a lot of Greek legends revenge-fics?

[@artofthepossible7329]

@@MrAuthor3DS Revenge fics with the added bonus of consequences.

[@Kurai_69420]

Basically revenge Westerns before revenge Westerns were a thing

[@Tobbe9975432]

It’s kinda amazing how simple it is to turn this less disgusting. Poseidon: ”So, you like my bull eh?” *Puts a curse on Minos so that his next child will be the minotaur* Minos: ”Oh come on!”

[@Troublethecat]

Pretty much exactly how it went in the book of Greek Myths I read in middle school lol.

[@DDlambchop43]

Joseph Campbell used that joke in a lecture. "So you love the bull? Alright, I'll make your woman love the bull too." something like that.

[@anastasianicolaenco4476]

1:07 _mysterious hieroglyphs unlike any seen on earth_ I wonder what Lovecraft would have thought about this

[@thundergozon6439]

take my like, you beautiful person

[@pairot01]

I mean, we found them on earth though

[@oracle8535]

@@pairot01 Hush. Do not spoil the fun. I'll pay you likes.

[@anastasianicolaenco4476]

@@thundergozon6439 Thank youu(/≧▽≦)/

[@tobistein6639]

Lovecraft was growing up around the time these discoveries were made. He might have heard of them.

[@rain-cesiagavden5494]

No one’s mentioning how Minos’ wife used the pick up line “ya like jazz?” on the bull

[@MsPageMistress]

You know what's funny? Another video got released today that also said that line!

[@cartoonishidealism582]

BEEstiality

[@OriginalCreatorSama]

I've been trying to ignore it, honestly.

[@yourmom5038]

I had to pause the video, that drawing made me laugh so hard.

[@sunspotmill1291]

I noticed..

[@pastelguts6182]

Dionysus on a random island: snnnnnzzzzz A maenad: Hey Dionysus! Theres this girl crying over here! What should we do! Dionysus: Uhhhh well see if she wants any wine! And that my friends is how my favorite greek god met his wife

[@WhoamI-wc7pj]

So romantic😭😍

[@pelipoika88]

@@WhoamI-wc7pj Definitely more romantic than how my favourite greek god met his wife. "Hey bro, I kidnapped this goddess for you." "Zeus WTF!?" And somehow they lived happily ever after.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

@@pelipoika88 In Greece, you take the romantic stories where you can get them.

[@nikkitaloff8655]

OSP: Posted 12 seconds ago Me, supposed to be doing my homework: THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT WHEN HE SAID TO PROCRASTINATE BY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH OUR TIME

[@onyxCD331]

cheers, i'll drink to that bro, supposed to be doing homework too

[@adrielcruz2736]

Nikki Taloff supposed to be paying attention to a google meet, but osp dropped a video, so rip my grades

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

I’m currently doing online school

[@severeanxietyandagreatsens8313]

I mean...we’re you doing history?

[@adrielcruz2736]

Raphaella Ponting nope

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

“Ok we are running out of stuff to make myths with what do we do?” “Just steal Aphrodites shipping abilities and use that on two animals” “Cool”

[@moritamikamikara3879]

"Those Minoans are weird and they worship bulls." "Hey, I bet they f*ck cows too." -Some random Mycenaean dudes.

[@AxxLAfriku]

One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no KZbinr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear dad

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

AxxL why tf are you here bot? If your not a bot stop being a 5 year old

[@dubspool]

AxxL hey Zeus? Yeah the lighting bolt.

[@davididiart5934]

"Stop boning animals!" This is ancient Athens. You're being unreasonable here.

[@mcpugh]

Zeus: You have no right to say that.

[@kaijufan2000yt]

The fact that you made Poseidon literary gave Aphrodite a twenty dollar bill is just perfect.

[@zawarudo1161]

20 Dollars are 20 dollars

[@hunterfox6176]

A few thoughts: 1)Theseus needed to have a spool of thread to help guide him back through what was essentially a looping spiral. Not even an actual maze. 2)Dionysus has one of the most stable relationships in all of the Greek pantheon. And now I am just picturing him and Ariadne having a couples date with Hades and Persephone, talking shit about Theseus. 3)Seriously, don't bone animals. How hard is that to grasp.

[@InsaneFoxx]

I'd enjoy listening in on that couple's date conversation

[@Ardito3709]

Don't forget about Eros and Psyche.

[@Evonne_Lee]

getting the impression Theseus isn't the brightest bulb in the box here

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

@oH well,lord! It differs from telling to telling, but the classic labyrinth diagram is a single corridor gone weird.

[@segevstormlord3713]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 ​ @oH well,lord! , I'd never heard, before this video, about the "dancing path built for Ariadne" before, but it actually makes a lot of sense, since a classical labyrinth was just that: a singular, if complicated, path. There was no getting lost on it. For it to trap something within, it would have to be locked in, not lost inside. We tend, today, to think of labyrinths as particularly large or complicated mazes (using the word "labrynthine" to describe something horribly confusing and hard to navigate), and it is in line with the Minotaur myth's claims that it required a special string to help Theseus find his way out, and could trap the minotaur inside. Of even further interest: in D&D, minotaurs are _explicitly immune to mazes_ and can always find their way out! Which is even more weirdly removed from the myth, given the purpose of the original labyrinth was to keep the minotaur inside.

[@wedran9225]

"Minotaur" means "Minos' bull" if i'm not mistaken, He did have a first name. Its either Asterios, Asterius, Asterion or something of that variety.

[@ngiorgos]

You're not mistaken about minotaur, ταύρος (tavros) in modern greek means bull I did not know about his real name though, thaks for sharing! It seems to have some 'star' connotation... I don't know why...

[@Gogetossj50]

@@ngiorgos Asterios basically was/is just a common greek name.

[@wedran9225]

@@ngiorgos thank you for confirming! And i saw another comment saying Asterion was Minos' fathers' name, so maybe its that.

[@Gogetossj50]

​@@ngiorgos With that being said however it was propably symbolic in the case of the minotaur: The star of the Labyrinth in the Cretan coins, according to some scholars, like Karl Kerenyi.

[@xavierfaust9417]

In the game Hades, Theseus and his minotaur friend Asterius are bosses in Elysium.

[@Dr.Matchstick]

I just had a horrible realization, minos is a model father figure, he didn't leave his son, he fed his son, and got mad when his son died even though he isn't even his son!

[@isaacorr3180]

I mean he still locked the minotaur in the labyrinth so he isn't really a model father

[@Dr.Matchstick]

@@isaacorr3180 oh fair point, I think at the time I made this I had a explanation but i have long since forgotten

[@unm0tivateddumdum]

@@isaacorr3180to be fair if minos didnt lock up the minotaur then Crete could b in danger family is a family but he has a kingdom to protect

[@justintime3656]

He's the father that spet up

[@concept5631]

​@@isaacorr3180 It was either that or the minotaur would probably eat his subjects.

[@bucca2]

Kind of surprised you didn't mention this, but Theseus marries Phaedra, Ariadne's little sister, in a true move of dickery. Phaedra, you will note, is how Aphrodite gets Hippolytus killed.

[@Blokewood3]

Theseus's timeline is confusing, but he probably didn't marry Phaedra until many years later, since Hippolytus came from Theseus's marriage to Hippolyta.

[@Chaotic42Kami]

​@@Blokewood3 But wasn't Hyppolyta killed when Herakles took her belt? And wasn't that way before Theseus could've married her?

[@Blokewood3]

@@Chaotic42Kami That's another confused part of the story, but in many versions of the story Hippolyta actually survives her encounter with Heracles. In the ones where she does die, Theseus may end up marrying her sister Antiope instead (but for me, I think it makes more sense to assume Hippolytus was named after his mother).

[@sydhenderson6753]

@@Blokewood3 The version I'm familiar with is that she gives it to Heracles voluntarily. She may get killed by the other Amazons later.

[@unrandomman3946]

What Red says: Don’t let languages die. What I hear: PRESERVE ALL THE MEMES!!!

[@olivierluisin1790]

the dna of the souls

[@CJCroen1393]

A lot of ancient mythologies did exactly that, so yeah! Let's preserve all the memes for future generations!

[@OriginalCreatorSama]

@@CJCroen1393 and in 1,000 years when all that's left is memes, people will think 2020 English was nothing but this

[@blarg2429]

@@OriginalCreatorSama And they'll be right.

[@quynlanvuorensyrja5484]

Technical language is the greatest, most widespread meme on earth, so yeah, go for it.

[@hiimchrisj]

The fact that the Minotaur seems easily killable in the sense that it dies by conventional means, yet Minos opted not to kill it outright, it sounds to me like Minos didn't consider the Minotaur a problem, just something you want to keep away from your own citizens. So him getting mad at Theseus for killing it seems appropriate to me. If he wanted it dead he probably would've killed it long before that rather than building it a home and giving it regular sacrifices.

[@shadowclaw7210]

This guy makes it sound like Minos kinda cared about him?

[@concept5631]

​@@shadowclaw7210 Love is a strange thing.

[@phoebusapollo8365]

Or maybe killing a monster is easier said that done? Mortal or otherwise?

[@earlwajenberg]

Maybe he kept it to terrorize the Athenians, in which case it massively backfired.

[@xaimaralexisii9095]

STOP BONING ANIMALS! "That sign can't stop me, I can't read anything from inside this fursuit." ~Pashipae probably

[@badbadbaron342]

" what kind of union could have made half man half bull?" "well that one is pretty straight forward, but you're not gonna like it" *rule34 has entered the chat*

[@merrittanimation7721]

I'm reminded of that gag in the Bellerophon video which showed a bird and a horse on a date to explain how Pegasus came to be.

[@oracle8535]

At least this one is better than Oedipus... Maybe... Kind of?

[@hp22h78]

The fact that she even had a cow suit commissioned...

[@ihcfn]

@@oracle8535 I feel sorry for Oedipus, the poor guy didn't have a clue about everything that happened until after the fact. Then has a complex named after him as if he did it all on purpose!

[@SoulOfTheReaver]

I uhh.... I checked. There IS rule34 of this exact event...... No exceptions indeed.

[@BlissfulBluebell]

Actual fun fact: several archaeologists had actually dug for this mythical labyrinth but came up with nothing and theorized that the Minotaur and his maze represented the earthquakes that plagued Athens due to being directly on a fault line. The sacrifices were actually the people being swallowed up by the earth. As for bonking a bull... idk they were probably drunk 😂

[@zombyninja2576]

maybe they looked at how the minoans like bulls and just assumed them boned them?

[@linusmota9712]

@@zombyninja2576 considering how Athenians had the worst types of fetishes they just thought it was normal stuff

[@MCArt25]

on the other hand the Minoans had a literal bull cult and may have worshipped a god called Asterion

[@stevenqu3]

@@zombyninja2576 Now I'm just wondering how many cow suits Daedelus had to build

[@lissaquon607]

@@MCArt25 wait... isnt the minotaur named sometimes Asterios? Might be why Minos was mad at Theseus- he killed their god bull monster.

[@netherillager5959]

5:16 In a line from Dionisius in Hades, he actually mentions this encounter, as well as congratulating Zagreus for tearing Theseus a new one.

[@gabbyabbott4965]

The only two gods who don’t chronically cheat on the wives.

[@TS17ADS]

@@gabbyabbott4965 actually there's a third one Eros And now I am imagining three of them sitting around a table and arguing their wife is the best one.

[@trent800]

Technically Typhon doesn’t cheat either

[@omarsalem1219]

@Gabby Abbott actually Hades cheated on persephone twice with minthe the river nymph who persephone turned into the first mint plant and a sea nymph called leuce

[@ameliorateepoch9917]

Luece was a roman add on, so she never never existed in Greek mythology, Also Minthe was before Persephone and got jealous that Hades married another woman, so she started saying she was a better lover to Hades then promptly got turned into a mint plant by Persephone.

[@stevenpassmore5740]

Red: "Stop Boning Animals!" Zeus: "so it's kosher if I turn into Animals to bone?" Red: "NOOOO" Hera coming from above at Zeus with a spear -we'll be right back

[@carlosroo5460]

Don't bother, I'm done it with Zeus, in fact I think I'm gonna go watch videos of Kratos kicking his home breaker ass.

[@chadfalardeau3259]

Thor is a way better thunder god

[@GenericProtagonist118]

-we now return to your regularly scheduled program Zeus: *screams of agony*

[@jordanfleming7022]

Considering how many abnormally large and powerful but otherwise normal animals there are in greek myths, I’d say its very likely Zeus went around making demi-animals as frequently as he made demi-gods.

[@redwitch12]

@@jordanfleming7022 Zeus (watching the Calydonian Boar rampage around while Artemis stares pointedly at him): "Look, I just thought the Crommyonian Sow was a woman that had shapeshifted into a giant pig, so I figured it was gonna be a mutual kink indulgence, okay? I didn't know it was ACTUALLY A PIG and was gonna have a GIANT ANGRY DEMIGOD PIGBABY, okay?!"

[@izzy1221]

A bull having higher standards than a human queen...I should be taking notes from this animal. *Know your worth my friends*

[@wesleybird880]

also, don't be fooled by wooden cow suits, friends

[@DarkSol16]

@@wesleybird880 A wooden cow suit made by the genius inventor Daedalus himself though. It's like getting the smartest engineer in the world to create the best sex doll.

[@gamingdemigodxiii5630]

Wesley Bird IT’S A TRAP!

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@DarkSol16 More like the ultimate murrsuit.

[@rynop99]

PLEASEEEEE a video on Hecate/Hekate! She’s a fascinating goddess and has a silly amount of epithets and stories relating to her

[@hersheysbar28]

^^^^^ This

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

YES

[@rafagarau4518]

yes pleaseeeeeee

[@omarsalem1219]

Ah she turns someone into a ferret and helps demeter look for persephone oh also medea used to work at one of her temples I think that's really it

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

*Daedalus:* "Pasiphaë, but is this hole for?" *Pasiphaë:* "Duh. That's for me to get inside the suit, Daedalus." *Daedalus:* "Woman, don't tell me how to engineer. I KNOW what that hole is for. What is this OTHER HOLE for?!" *Pasiphaë:* "...Cow stuff."

[@kwaitefuni9152]

big oof

[@babypyroshark2604]

Like udders and udders

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

@@agata6337 Always have.

[@ahorribleterribleperson]

Tbh, if Daedalus is already popular enough to get commissioned for *this* , I'm pretty sure he made MUCH *MUCH* worst.

[@fjhatsu]

Ahh yes the ancient fetish commision

[@kitkat25195]

In some stories it’s stated that Ariadne would only help Theseus if he promised to marry her when they arrived back to his kingdom. Theseus doesn’t want to marry Ariadne but still wants to get help, so he agrees and then when they get to the island he sees this as a perfect opportunity to abandon her. Wow.

[@nkbujvytcygvujno6006]

Even if that was true, it wasn’t in the original version. And there was nothing stopping him from refusing to marry her once they got back to his kingdom, considering she had no more power once she left her own kingdom… aaand you shouldn’t teach people that deserting a girl to likely die on an unpopulated island is a reasonable response to them wanting to marry you, with you having all the power to reject them normally.

[@sydhenderson6753]

@@nkbujvytcygvujno6006 I've seen a version where she went cavorting with the Meanads and Theseus abandoned her because she was gory. Don't know if that's from actual mythology, though.

[@s.g.7572]

4:47 Ariadne's shy lil blush makes me so sad, knowing how badly Theseus treats her later

[@carlosnicolas2009]

Red: Stop boning animals! Zeus: -turns into an animal- HA! Loophole.

[@Freekymoho]

Hot take: King Minos is just the world's most commited step-dad

[@thebronzedragon1]

I mean Dude not only didn't kill the kid, but gave him a killer play pad AND a string of high quality meat So.... Yea kinda

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I honestly like to think that he got mad that theseus killed Asterion because he actually cared for him.

[@stugod5000]

@@despinasgarden.4100 wait the minotaur has an actual name?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@stugod5000 yeah, he's name is Asterion

[@wickederebus]

This almost makes the Okeanos Singularity seem worth it.

[@JustSomeDude42]

I think one of the reasons Minos doesn’t straight up kill the monster is that’s it’s technically his son by marriage, and it’s a big no no to kill your family in Hellenistic Greece so Minos built the labyrinth as a… happy(?) compromise where he didn’t have to properly deal with the Minotaur but also not kill it.

[@an8strengthkobold360]

Minos wearing one of those "I'm not the step Dad, I'm the Dad that stepped up" shirts.

[@fishnewt1331]

3:35 “But that’s a story for.....four years ago, apparently.” Ah, a new meaning to the phrase “A tale as old as time”.

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

"Don't let languages die, kids." *Nods frantically* I'm doing my best, but I don't suppose you could go back 400-ish years and get rid of linguicidal England for me?

[@jafortune]

Hey I'm working on a time travelling machine, but so far it only travels to the future at a rate of 1 second per second.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

Gaelic or Gaeilge? Either way, you can do it!

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 Scottish Gaelic for me! But I have Irish-speaking friends and can have a conversation in it. I'm in Australia though so I also deal with language reclamation/maintenance here, and Gaelic-speakers in Canada are obviously close with indigenous language communities there, too...

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

@@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh Aha! I have heard of the Gaelic communities in Australia, and it's nice to see the language spoken on the other side of the planet. Possibly from you, actually, since I think it was on a comment on this channel. I'm more familiar with our *other* language (Scots) but I really want to learn Gaelic someday. That's super interesting; I do like the cultural cross-linking there. Humans working together to keep culture alive is always a good time.

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 It was probably me! There are other Gaelic-speakers in Australia but a lot of them are older and can't use the internet very well! Most information online (especially on KZbin) is stuff I've said. I can't use Scots at all, although I suppose I have a better knowledge of it than most non-speakers since I've grown up around a lot of Scots-speakers, including people who use Scots with me.

[@Licardss]

"Forced Trade is known as Piracy". I mean, your not wrong

[@nowhereman6019]

"We get your cargo and you get to not die. I'd call that a fair trade!"

[@safetymeasures167]

Yes, she is. Trade, forced or not, means giving someone else something in return for something else. Piracy is breaking and entering, but with boats

[@safetymeasures167]

@Christopher Stanley giving what the gift of life? And how?

[@Boss_Isaac]

@@safetymeasures167 The peeps your'e pirating, i.e., gimme your stuff and me and my crew won't stab you all and chuck into the sea.

[@michaelrauch8629]

I honestly feel bad for Minotaur who did nothing wrong he just was born and was forced into the monstrous role he was

[@GSBarlev]

It's also like, how exactly was it determined that he'd only eat humans? He's half bovine--I can totally imagine that he would have happily subsisted grazing in a large field, but his jerk of an adopted father was like, "No royal prince will be caught eating grass! No, let's use him to keep our vassal-states in line!"

[@donnguyen1107]

Me too! Heck stories even give the Minotaur a NAME: Asterion/Asterius, which I’m thankful for the Hades game for doing. Some even call him Ariadne’s brother. Also remember in our reality a lot of people historically drug, starve or beat animals into becoming aggressive man-eaters, so who’s to say Minos didn’t do something like that to Asterion to force him into eating people

[@donnguyen1107]

Check out Icarus and Apollo by Jay Bell. The Minotaur/Asterion in that book turns out to be a gentle giant who’s been secretly fed and given books by Daedalus and secretly shows the 14 tributes and Theseus and Ariadne a kinda back door out of the labyrinth instead of killing them. He’s even implied to have a crush on a boy somewhere

[@michaelrauch8629]

@@donnguyen1107 will do

[@GSBarlev]

@@donnguyen1107 That's beautiful.

[@travisherndon94]

Questions of the day: Do you think there were Ancient Greek Furries back in the day ? and if so do you think they drew sexy minotaur and Typhon on Deviantvase ?

[@cartoonishidealism582]

Aesop definitely had a fox fursona right

[@_lucas_2066]

What im i reading.

[@chronovac]

*_STOP_*

[@_lucas_2066]

exactly

[@amethyst_cat9532]

Good morning to everyone except you

[@Excelsior1937]

Ariadne's smile at 4:45 is so adorable 🥲

[@IanPendleton-gh6ox]

It really is. Sad that Ariadne gets betrayed by him later on, but I think it still works out since she does end up with Dionysus at the end.

[@isaaceshleman2833]

Random fun fact to mention: The Minotaur actually had a given name, Asterion, after Minos’s “real name”, which apparently was something he had.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

There is also a poem called "the house of Asterion" that is basically the minotaur myth trough Asterion's eyes.

[@JoshtheOverlander]

*Hugs Asterios* I might not use you at all, but you are the best Berserker-class, bull boi

[@isaaceshleman2833]

beetlewine's channel I didn’t know that, that’s cool. But, weird question: Which Asterion?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@isaaceshleman2833 Asterion the minotaur

[@ghostgabe81]

@@JoshtheOverlander Hey when you get to be Euryale's BF it's worth it

[@ihavenooriginalnameideas9036]

2:54 So what you're telling me is daedalus made the first fursuit

[@TheShanicpower]

Loki was pretty early too.

[@oracle8535]

@@TheShanicpower Though Loki could shape-shift, so...

[@cartoonishidealism582]

Murrsuit. It was modified for sexual activity, therefore it is a murrsuit.

[@TheCamster4545]

Ah! That Ariadne tangent was incredibly interesting, especially the concept of the marriage of her to Dionysus, or labyrinths/mazes to madness and intoxication. I would love to see a video on that, even if it is just a theorizing video. I know how twisted mythology can get

[@melissachan721]

I don't know why ppl kept going to the Oracle of Delphi, it literally never ends with a happy ending

[@yaitz3313]

No, the times when it went well just weren't interesting enough to become myths. Except that one time with the Battle of Salamis.

[@shadowldrago]

It's less that going poorly and more people trying to avoid the prophecies that tends to screw them over.

[@Extrinoo]

@@shadowldrago whether people try to avoid death prophecies or not, they will die. That's just how prophecies work.

[@shadowldrago]

@@Extrinoo True, but it's not impossible to imagine that going out of one's way to try to screw destiny to this extent only makes it that much worse.

[@mirjanbouma]

Hey Psyche got a good ending!

[@InsaneFoxx]

Red: "stop boning animals" Me: what would be the result of the minotaur hooking up with a centaur? like a half bull, half horse, or just a regular dude? If it's a regular dude, would he be counted in the stop boning animals part?

[@wickederebus]

well, here are some outcomes Bull + Horse hybrid Human + Human Human + Bull Human + Horse or just 1/4 bull, 1/4 horse, and 1/2 human

[@SairinEarthsea]

@@wickederebus add a few more animal ancestors and you get a chimera.

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@wickederebus What about the bust of a Minotaur with the lower half of a centaur.

[@jeffbenton6183]

@@NIHIL_EGO You mean a regular centaur with a bull's head?

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@jeffbenton6183 Yes.

[@j9_shine]

So uh when is Ariadne getting her own miscellaneous myth?? Never hear of her before but I definetly wanna know more now!

[@CJCroen1393]

She does have some interesting stories, though most of them involve her marriage to Dionysus. Of particular note is her death (how she dies varies--sometimes she's killed by Perseus which feels a little out of character for him, other times by Artemis, others by Sirens, etc.) and Dionysus pulls an Orpheus and heads down into the Underworld to bring her back. Hades tells him that if he wants her back, he has to leave behind his "best beloved". Depending on the telling, Dionysus either leaves behind his staff or grows a grapevine...and Hades declares this adequate payment, so Dionysus takes Ariadne back, makes her immortal (sometimes depicted as her becoming goddess of labyrinths) and marries her.

[@kamishin7135]

@@CJCroen1393 huh, it's funny to think that alot of beings in hades do somesort of deal. Do you think the devil might picked up this behavior from Hades? That would be funny

[@Thesaurus_Rex]

@@kamishin7135 Given how the devil is an amalgamation of at least half a dozen cthonic, trickster, or evil gods, it's entirely possible.

[@Dravoll]

CJCroen1393 Regarding her character’s death at the hands of Perseus in some stories, one account is that Dionysus attacked Argos when Perseus was King and Ariadne was accidentally killed in battle. Since Perseus is defending his home, against an invasion, I think that fits with his character. Nonnus’ Dionysiaca has Hera incite him into fighting, so possibly his death was a case of her killing two birds with one stone: damaging the reputation of one of Zeus’ illegitimate kids by having him kill the wife of another.

[@CJCroen1393]

@@Dravoll Huh. That does make more sense.

[@davidthetraveler1466]

Honestly, I think my favorite part of this was seeing another stable happy immortal marriage thanks to Dionysus and Ariadne. We really need more of that and less of what Zeus and Poseidon keep getting up to.

[@thegreatstoneddragon9432]

Yeah. Like maybe more of Hades (the only stable brother) and Persephone.

[@ecurewitz]

who would have guessed that the drunk guy is the normal one. Could be why he''s drunk

[@davidthetraveler1466]

@@ecurewitz Well now, why do we assume he is actually drunk all the time? Just because he's the god of partying and drunkenness doesn't mean that's /all/ he does.

[@ecurewitz]

@@davidthetraveler1466 but he sure drinks a lot

[@davidthetraveler1466]

@@ecurewitz Fair enough.

[@mera-mori]

32 seconds. Not to bad. This upload made my already good day brilliant!

[@cheesebanditenterprises]

I got 2 minutes nice

[@mr.potato2223]

Wait I know you YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE WHAT SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENSE

[@PresidentAutumn]

I got 5 seconds

[@mera-mori]

cebcrb niceeeeeee

[@jonathannorris9475]

@@cheesebanditenterprises I got three.

[@Vfar0fa]

"Stop bonning animals!" *Zeus has left the chat*

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

@Oscar Wind yes

[@decoral]

Loki: *nervous sweating*

[@Blokewood3]

Technically Zeus didn't bone any animals, he *was* the animal.

[@manaalwajidali3408]

I love how we're slowly getting to "Last time in OSP Greek shenanigans" territory and getting recaps from Red's old videos :D

[@CrazyGamerDragon64]

The way Red nonchalantly says "Oh, hey where'd that thing come from?" at 3:03 cracks me up for some reason

[@mr.e9502]

I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and theorize that Poseidon and Medusa’s child is a horse with wings partially because Poseidon’s also the God of horses. The REAL question is how he’s the father of the Cyclops.

[@reyonXIII]

Considering he has nothing to do with the ones that are effectively his uncles

[@stugod5000]

broke: godly genetics is just weird woke: Posideon has really good aim with a nerf gun?

[@reyonXIII]

I have no idea why I was momentarily disgusted in my otherwise pure hilarity considering I already know so much weirder sexual shit in mythology across the world

[@ChasehaWing]

He adopts them

[@krankarvolund7771]

@@reyonXIII There seems to have several generations of Cyclopes, there's the ones who are sons of Ouranos, but they are different from those who help Hephaistos, and Polyphemos is another kind of cyclopes ^^

[@spilledquinoa]

Last year my class was talking about this myth and when we asked our teacher why Ariadne would ever want to be with Theseus my teacher responded "Because he was pretty and she was all like 'Ooh hunky Theseus'" and it got to the point where everyone was saying Hunky Theseus so much that it was banned from the classroom

[@alyseleem2692]

Dating what daddy hates.

[@thoranevans4832]

I'm gonna start saying hunky Theseus at random times now

[@wandanemer2630]

I respect that.

[@TheCeekon]

Daedalus's professionalism is something to be admired. lady walks up to him and basically asks for the worlds first fursuit and the guys like "Whatever floats your boat lady" and just, does the job anyways.

[@stevenqu3]

"Ariadne gives Theseus a clew" I see what you did there.

[@kingmonster]

The growth of languages are kinda' funny like that....

[@allana0017]

what's even better is *that's where the word "clue" actually comes from*

[@davidmillerstavroulakis1421]

@@allana0017 So that's why Edgar Allan Poe spelled it like that.

[@stevenqu3]

@@allana0017 Holy shit it is

[@lemonlefleur6236]

Due to the importance of bulls in Minoan society, as can be inferred from their artwork which seems to place Bulls in good context, I theorize that the Minotaur is a sort of corrupted legend of a king or general who used bulls as a symbolic animal ( Similar to the concept of Lion King that occasionally comes up with King Arthur). So imagine a king known as the Bull King, but then the Greeks start gossiping about a bull headed man.

[@Boss_Isaac]

@Mullerornis We don't know that for sure. While there's some archaeological evidence to suggest that women may have enjoyed more social prominence in Minoan culture than they did in the later Greek civilizations, we can't read their language and so we can't have a concrete answer.

[@apenasmaisumdiogo.7115]

Yes, there are several theories saying that the fourteen athenian youths sent to be eaten by the Minotaur could represent the political and economic influence Crete had in Athens at the time, so Theseus slaughtering him would be a symbolism of how Athens surpassed the minoan civilization and became the new hegemonic city-state.

[@samurguy9906]

idk, seems like a clear case of the greeks seeing all the bull imagery and making fun of them for it by immortalizing them as bull lovers.

[@lemonlefleur6236]

Samurguy990 Seems legit though

[@samlee5549]

Daedalus, having heard the queens plan: Holy Cow The Queen, high on Aphrodite’s magic: Yup. Daedalus: You want me to help you screw a HOLY COW

[@oracle8535]

IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!

[@todddempsey1277]

This pun is the best

[@RamBam3000]

Obviously these people aren’t Hindus.

[@theanimeunderworld8338]

I've heard myths say Minos' wife was the daughter of Helios so the minotaur might have been semi divine. And Ariadne was also half divine since both her parents were demigods.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I think the wife of Mino's was related to Circe and Medea, she was also a witch

[@MaxHDAvenger]

Which unfortunately made the Minotaur the nephew to Circe and cousin to Medea.

[@SesshoMaruFTW01]

Having recently watched the Medea video I can only conclude that “dumbass travels to a foreign land to try to be a hero but is underprepared, local princess helps and falls in love, dumbass does the thing but pisses off the locals, runs away with princess, abandons princess but princess actually has a decently life whereas dumbass pays for all his idiocy” was a popular story in Greece

[@videogollumer]

At least Ariadne wasn't a murder-happy witch!

[@TS17ADS]

@@videogollumer Ariadne was lucky that it was Dionysus who found her and not Apollo

[@videogollumer]

@@TS17ADS I don't see what that has to do with relating Ariadne to Medea.

[@TS17ADS]

@@videogollumer ah sorry I am not comparing Aradne and Madea I am just say if it Apollo instead of Dionysus things would have not ended very well her.

[@videogollumer]

@@TS17ADS Okay then.

[@AskMia411]

In my college mythology class i did my presentation on theseus and the minotaur. I was very familiar with the story due to some cartoon with a buffalo (?) Telling stories to kids, so my brain just figured everyone knew the basics. So i presented all the new interesting things i learned while researching and then near the end of my presentation someone asked "So... What myth is this?" And i realized in a horrifying instant that no one knew what I'd been talking about. MORTIFYING. Class presentations are the worst and i hate them

[@trinkab]

Omg! I saw that cartoon with the Buffalo telling (heavily Christianized) myths!

[@guggelguggel7491]

Wait really? As long as you like, Mentioned that the story/myth you were talking about was the one where Theseus slays the Minotaur, shouldn't most people know of it? Or at least heard of it? And in collage too? I get if someone who's like, twelve haven't heard of it, (I knew of the minotaur as a bull monster, but i didn't really learn anything more about it untill I started reading up on Theseus when I started getting obsessed with myths at the age of eleven and the Greek stuff were just plain easy to access) but collage? Isn't it common to learn about Greek mythology in school at some point too? At least in Europe.. And in a mythology class too! Greco-roman mythology is like the first thing people learn about when looking into mythology, other than the myths and legends of ones homeland, if you ever decide to look into Indo-European mythology, yep, there's the ancient Greeks with their gods. If they were just say, amateurs who's only really started out or only really interested some specific stories rather than the history, context or the mythology as a whole, I would get it, but IN MYTHOLOGY CLASS?? THAT'S WHERE THE NERDS GO. NERDS WHO USUALLY WANTS TO ABSORB EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STUFF, INCLUDING THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT, HOW STORES SPRED AND EVOLVES AND POTENTIAL BIAS OF THE SOURCE, AND THERES SO MANY SOURCES ON GREEK MYTHOLOGY ITS SOMEWHAT EASY TO FIND SOMETHING TO CHEW ON. There should statistically have been at least one person who's done a cursory glance at Greek mythology as a whole, and thus at least knows of some stuff, and thus probably the monsters. Hell, the Greek mythologys monsters are super famous in modern media, shouldn't they at least have heard of the minotaur?? I'm genuinely confused.

[@todddempsey1277]

@@guggelguggel7491 I never learned the full story until today.

[@guggelguggel7491]

@@todddempsey1277 I mean, understandable, but if you were in a mythology class, it would be somewhat likely that some people are interested in myths, and Greek mythology is a popular one, so some people should've heard of it? Especially since it's a fairly popular myth with an even more famous monster? It's not like we're talking about something über obscure, like the story where Aphrodite was cursed to have an ugly child by Hera so when the child was born she left the baby in the forest but he was raised by shepherds, or the four winds, who only really cameos for a few myths with like two exceptions. Even if several people went to that class as amateurs, I feel like there should be a few people whos at least heard of it.

[@LabraDoodleDraws]

Nobody: Ancient Greece: *OC TIMEEEEE* Everyone: Can they not be animal combos and make sense? Ancient Greece: *N O* Ancient Greece: OH! I know what we can add! *I N C E S T* *TOXIC RELATIONSHIP*

[@B_A-tr]

Where is incest

[@LabraDoodleDraws]

@@B_A-tr all of the gods are related and also (don't quote me on this Im not 100% sure) but some of the gods punishments were either for sibling incest or WERE sibling incest

[@SM-qv2om]

Incest: fun for the whole family

[@LabraDoodleDraws]

@@SM-qv2om THIS KILLED ME

[@lordfriedrick7911]

2:52 Parsifae to the minotaur: And that's how i met your father...

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Minotaur: .... How are you and the king still married???

[@EclipsedTwilight]

@@despinasgarden.4100 Pasiphae: After all of his affairs, he decided it was unfair for him to hold a grudge over me having one particularly... exotic one.

[@anime9424]

2:40 "The Cretin Bull has VERY high standards." *DAMN!* I don't know whether to call the bull smart or picky!

[@Tarnthewarrior]

I think both

[@videogollumer]

Smart, definitely smart, there's a cow who understands the natural order.

[@lois7956]

Nah, moral of the story: Diyonisus is a bro and cool guy.

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

Yes he is

[@nikhiliyengar1510]

Theseus: How am I gonna find my way around this thing? Ariadne: Get a clew. Theseus: Sounds about right.

[@absolutegarbage798]

I just played Hades game a few minutes ago, who would have thought I end up fighting both of them. This is for Ariadne.

[@ForrestFox626]

Death to the egotist

[@jaojao1768]

Do Trope Talk: Lost Civilisations!

[@abthedragon4921]

That would be cool!

[@thefriesofLockeLamora]

I'd also love a History Summarized of lost civilizations

[@Arowrath]

So that's why Ellen Page's character in Inception is named Ariadne

[@andybraginsky4805]

When Daedalus says "Oh, that's MUCH less questionable." I swear I heard it in Blue's voice. It's just such a Blue thing to say XD

[@troperhghar9898]

"Mistress of the labyrinth" I'm defiantly using this in my next story

[@blarg2429]

Who are you defying by doing so?

[@agata6337]

@@blarg2429 pedantic! just let them be happy :v

[@guardedbasket]

The Minoan empire fell cause they were to busy writing fanfics about bulls

[@connorgolden4]

Minoan A: “Hey guys should we do something about the invading Mycenaeans, the volcanic eruption, and our collapsing economy?” Minoan B: “Shut up! I was just getting to the part where my two OCs finally admit their love for each other!” Minoan A: stares worriedly our the window.

[@guardedbasket]

Imperialx Warlord the Mycenaeans invader cause they didn’t ship the two OCs

[@blarg2429]

I don't have a source for this so don't just believe me with no follow-up, but I heard someplace that part of why they fell may be that they completely deforested Crete and so ran out of conveniently-usable wood there.