Miscellaneous Myths: The Minotaur

Ah, Theseus. Athens' favorite trash man. Let's talk about someone a little more interesting - literally anyone involved in this story will do.
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[@artemiswolf4508]

Decapitating the Minotaur sucks because unlike other monster you can’t really show it of as a trophy. “And this is the head of the Minotaur, half man half bull monstrosity that ate humans in a labyrinth” “Dude that’s a cow”

[@kryptonianguest1903]

No, it's not! Here's the rest of his body. Dude, that's a dude.

[@timothymclean]

How would _you_ turn it into a trophy? Cut off its whole torso?

[@z.j.karasik9601]

@@timothymclean cut it down the middle

[@timothymclean]

@@z.j.karasik9601 Vertically or horizontally?

[@crazeelazee7524]

@@timothymclean yes

[@calico_queen8976]

Can you just imagine Ariadne's face as she watches her ex's life go downhill while she's chilling at a rave party her immortal husband's hosting?

[@MatsuoTanuki]

Ariadne: "Tragic." *dainty sip of Olympian nectar and Bacchanal wine cocktail*

[@airmanon7213]

@Mullerornis Care to explain why? I don't know about the Scythian gods myself.

[@lorendaemon7945]

@@airmanon7213 it doesn't look like we know a lot about the Scythian pantheon, but apparently they did have their version of Hestia as the Queen of the gods so that probably speaks well

[@darkherculeskabuterimon7203]

@@lorendaemon7945 Because Hestia is part of the Virgen Trio, because she's the goddess the home & hearth, or because she's basically the Greek god equivalent of the stereotypical 'everyone's favorite aunt'?

[@lorendaemon7945]

@@darkherculeskabuterimon7203 it's the first one I feel like the peaceful god of the hearth being queen says good things about what the culture valued I guess

[@Scream_Lord]

Red: "Stop boning animals!" Loki: *currently a mare about to be impregnated by a horse* Huh?

[@siberiandante]

Loki: I'll pretend I didn't hear that

[@kortmann9]

Loki does as he/she/they pleases... Even if it is pretty messed up.

[@campeonjpm9105]

JRHNBR

[@oracle8535]

He freaking fathered a snake the size of the world.

[@violet5018]

Excuse me *what-*

[@ailimarie]

Theory: someone who hated the minoans saw all their bull iconography, called them bull fuckers, and the joke got WAY out of hand

[@MCArt25]

i mean their favorite sport was basically bull rodeo so it wasn't really hard to make that joke

[@Tustin2121]

This reminds me of how Prince Achmed just wants his tiger. His army even put on a song for him about it.

[@Changeling6562]

@@Tustin2121 All hail Achmed the tigerfucker

[@charlesclinton3305]

Sounds like it was a regular Athenian insult hurled at anyone from Crete.

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Sounds about right

[@fireflyeclipse]

There’s something that makes sense about a goddess of mazes ending up with the god of madness and wine

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

Ikr

[@sramtae5820]

Dyonisus, drunk af: honey I'm homeee Ariadne, also drunk: hey sweetie, i turned the house into a laberinth

[@jacobsheehan9715]

@@sramtae5820 everyone else: why? Them: why not?

[@luckywolf8171]

One of the most functional and crazy couples out there

[@alljammedup6781]

Spiral Vibes

[@joeevans5770]

Dionysus having one of the most stable Olympian relationships. Didn't see that one coming

[@thundergozon6439]

The fact that the word stable is not being used as a pun here is both giving me hope and making me die inside.

[@JoshtheOverlander]

Dionysus and Hades be chilling on the sidelines while the rest of the gods be getting it on with everyone *but* their significant others

[@starmaker75]

It funny how the the alcoholic is one of the more kind gods.

[@do-nothingbear9474]

Star maker 75 he’s a happy drunk

[@oracle8535]

@@starmaker75 You think, until you see all the guys he turned crazy and into various animals and grapes.

[@Peteman]

Pasiphaë: "I want to commission you to make me a fake cow suit so I can get close to my husband's divine bull. Do you think you can swing it, or is it too weird for you?" Daedalus: "Lady, this wouldn't even crack the top ten in weirdest fetish crap people have wanted me to build."

[@redwitch12]

Ah, the curse of being the greatest inventor in the world. Not only do you have to keep dodging the tyrannical kings who want you to build them torture devices and complicated palaces, you keep getting calls from people who are determined to satisfy their kinks at all costs.

[@zeeb2190]

@@redwitch12 it's a shame he didn't anticipate Minos being an asshole

[@MrDalisclock]

One presumes he charges extra for weird kink shit.

[@Jess-pe8bq]

redwitch12 or the kinky tyrants who want both

[@VelvetCondoms]

@@MrDalisclock Better weird kink shit than the fucked up torture devices for tyrannical kings. Hell, given the budget differences, I wouldn't be surprised if the kings got the extra charges.

[@theweirdgamer4073]

Ah yes, the Minotaur, the first cowboy.

[@monhunterz5430]

Firstly, I'm pretty sure i read this before on tumblr Secondly, HOW DARE YOU!!!

[@theweirdgamer4073]

@@monhunterz5430 mwahahahaha >:)

[@unseenmonster4506]

I mean he isnt wrong his he

[@theweirdgamer4073]

@@unseenmonster4506 Nope and here is another shower thought that I'm pretty sure no one thought of. Therapist, are just vent doctors.

[@unseenmonster4506]

@@theweirdgamer4073 ... We have 2 minutes to live, but when we breathe the timer resets.

[@fullmetaltheorist]

"I need a cow suit" "Why" *"Recreational purposes?"* "Seems legit."

[@aellin-jz9el]

People who do commissions for a living be like

[@void_wyrm]

Ahh, yes, like all poor comission artists, they do not question the kinky shit they are commissioned to do

[@BandanaDrummer95]

Commission artist: "By recreational purposes what do you mean? How big do the holes need to be and where do they need to line up?"

[@camramaster]

Judge nothing, keep an open mind, and make sure to drink a lot of alcohol while making whatever to temove inhebitions.

[@PhantomObserver]

"By the way -- I charge a reasonable premium for no questions asked. Also, I have expenses. You'll have to give me the tools and materials I need." Later ... "Dad, where did these feathers come from?" "I was using them for padding for the inside of the Queen's cow suit. Rough leather on bare skin's not really nice, son." "Same with the wax?" "Yep." "So why are they in the middle of this labyrinth?" "Because King Minos is too cheap to buy extra storage space in his castle."

[@1313fina]

My headcanon: Dionysus made Theseus's love life a misery because he ditched Ariadne on an island.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

He probably give Eros monney to make Theseus love life horrible

[@CJCroen1393]

I can certainly see that.

[@masodemic4509]

@@despinasgarden.4100 He bribed Eros with booze cuz Aphrodite wouldn't let him have any. He's too young.

[@pleaseenteraname6590]

@@masodemic4509 I love this SO MUCH

[@Grim_Sister]

Headcanon approved

[@juanmanuelpenaloza9264]

Could you imagine the Minotaur and Icarus having a chat like just: Icarus: "So apparently the only reason we're in here is because my dad made a fursuit for your mom." Minotaur: "So does that make us brothers?" Icarus: "I don't know... maybe."

[@carlosroo5460]

I think more like uncle and nephew.

[@Nazuiko]

That makes them step-cousins, at best; but really just "You're the son of my dad's boss."

[@aphato2770]

@@Nazuiko what are you doing step-cousin

[@Hazyla]

Ta Ba **dies**

[@Undomaranel]

@@Nazuiko Make that "my dad's boss's wife's affair son." The minotaur isn't descended from Minos, though arguably there is a bloodline connection through Poseidon that makes the minotaur and Minos somewhat half brothers or cousins.

[@armanmahmood9783]

Dionysus: **has a functional relationship ** Zeus: HEY

[@gingermcgingin1733]

I don't think Zeus is even capable of conceptualising a functional relationship.

[@armanmahmood9783]

Whats that?

[@decoral]

@@gingermcgingin1733 He is still married to Hera, so I guess things are working out for them😂

[@gingermcgingin1733]

@@decoral yeah, & she does her damnedest to kill off all the illegitimate children he has with other women & often the mother too. Doesn't strike me as healthy.

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

@@gingermcgingin1733 this is true

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

When you consider the whole "maiden of the labyrinth" thing, the Ariadne plus Dionysus connection gets especially interesting, seeing as earlier versions of Dionysus depict something of a deity of madness and the unknowable. They're really made for each other -- thematically, at least.

[@Duiker36]

It's a very Ursula Le Guin take.

[@gergelykovacs4008]

I mean yeah but do consider that in these labyrinths youre not supposed to get lost in(its one long line) its for religios dances

[@prernap3104]

And there are some stories that the Labyrinth could make you go mad (which makes sense as it’s an isolating underground never ending maze with certain death as the prize) so that fits well too

[@Dyneamaeus]

Looking further in to labyrinths (how have I never done that before now?) they also appear to involve themes of introspection and rebirth, both of which would be appropriate to associate with Dionysus to some degree. Perhaps the 'Lady of the Labyrinth' was a Deity of deep introspection, religious euphoria, or some other altered mental state similar to the drunken state associated with Dionysus. But y'know, involving the labyrinth somehow. Coupled with Dionysus' own muddled biography that could somewhat explain how a plot that would typically be the focal point of a Greek myth (god falls for person, for real this time, person becomes immortal) is instead almost awkwardly stapled on to the end of one.

[@leonmercury3732]

@@Dyneamaeus all this discussion really brings home how little we know and how much we have to speculate. I would love to know the original beliefs, but this is a fantastic theory.

[@murataubakir8437]

"Forced oceanic trade" "Also known as piracy" Lmao I'm dying.

[@RedXlV]

This channel has some of the best euphemisms for piracy. This one might've been even better than "involuntary treasure reallocation".

[@DanialTarki]

“Organized seafaring theft”

[@marymccann3500]

Fun fact! Poseidon is the creator of horses, so his offspring being a horse is actually somewhat plausible. The wings are still a mystery, though.

[@natureisneat8262]

Wings are recessive from Ouranus

[@alguiencosa6634]

In the oldest versions of the myth, Medusa actually had wings, apparently gold wings, as well as bronze claws and faces and wild boar fangs, a rare thing. It is as said at the beginning of the video, the Greeks (and most civilizations) to create monsters simply mixed animals at random.

[@CJCroen1393]

What @Alguien Cosa said. The wings came from Medusa.

[@PutoMedicoBrujo]

@@alguiencosa6634 that explains pegasus mostly ignored sibling, Chrysaor being in some images a golden boar with wings

[@teacup7044]

Oddly the sky and waters were seen as a reflection then often wings were put in place of fins. I could be wrong but I think that it goes back to when Posidon was king of the sky.

[@insertclevernamehere1186]

I wonder, why did Minos not just, you know, breed the bull with his cows and THEN sacrifice it? High quality offspring and Poseidon still gets his bull back.

[@mutantmaster1]

Zeus, horndog that he is, frowns upon killing your family members, so he might have been trying to avoid a celestial SMITE

[@insertclevernamehere1186]

@@mutantmaster1 Breed the *original* bull *with his cows* for high quality *livestock* offspring.

[@misselizabethplays8070]

Because, he is an idiot. I'd cite examples of this but you pretty much have all the evidence you need right here in this video.

[@highlyopinionated5611]

Because if Minos was smart, there wouldn't be a story.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

How exactly did Minos become a judge of the dead, again? He always seemed like an utter ass to me. Why would Hades have him in that position?

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

5:40 "Stop boning animals" Zeus: "No, I don't think I will"

[@EveryoneElseIsWeirdImNormal]

No Zeus is the animal

[@ombreflowers6871]

Just Some Guy without a Mustache omg you’re here too?

[@gonzaloolivera1954]

gotta say, you so have a nice taste in content XD

[@fullmetaltheorist]

Hey its the guy from the thing

[@krankarvolund7771]

Surprisingly, Zeus boned no animals, only humans.... He however was a alot of animals XD

[@dylantennant6594]

Meanwhile Loki: I screwed a horse and spend a year pregnant to save Asgard. It was horrible (crying like a baby). Zeus and Poseidon: Our people do it for fun. Loki (crying harder) Make it stop! Make it stop!

[@justanotheryoutubecommente2]

I've never heard of horse Loki before today. I really want to hear Red tell this myth next

[@dynamicworlds1]

So we don't want to remind Loki that Odin is _riding_ his kid?

[@dylantennant6594]

@@justanotheryoutubecommente2 It was alluded to in The Prose Edda episode, but she didnt go into full detail.

[@dylantennant6594]

@@dynamicworlds1 Depends, do you have a death wish? Because he can make that happen, death is his daughter.

[@viktor681]

Just Another KZbin Commenter there’s actually a bunch of comments on the Prose Edda video about it. What Red said was “ so Loki does his thing” what Red means is “ so Loki get chased by the horse and gets pregnant”.

[@NxTTxT]

"so aphrodite made his wife fall in love with a bull" oh no "but then the bull has standards and politely says no" oh okay thank god "but then the wife decides to put on a cow costume" OH *_NOOOOOOO_*

[@nonnayerbusiness7704]

Oh MOOOOO

[@FunnyFany]

panik, kalm, PANIK

[@Drakin292]

Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people.

[@janaterbio8010]

I love the fact that the bull has standards, it's makes me all happy!

[@LittleMissRequiem]

jocontemporary It could be worse. Red never mentioned how exactly the Aloadae (see the “Ares’ Abduction” video) were conceived, but... well, let’s just say you may think twice about going to the beach ever again after you hear the full details.

[@hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095]

The scene where the bull gives a PSA about his standards is friggin hilarious.

[@Blokewood3]

Pasiphae: Hey there, hot stuff... Bull: Oh puh-LEEZE! I only date real cows!

[@devanskrobarcek2013]

Funfact about Ariadne there is the depiction of how Ariadne become a goddess and it’s quite interesting Basically she was traveling with dionysus spreading his cult but king Perseus accidentally turned her to stone (using Medusa head) and was smashed and dionysus was so heart broken he begged hades to let him bring her back and ask Zeus to make her a goddess And to all those saying how happy and faithful the marriage is there is a story about that Basically Ariadne suspected dionysus was cheating on her and cried on a beach then dionysus told her it wasn’t the case and to prove it he turned her wedding crown into a constellation

[@masodemic4509]

THEY'RE SO CUTE I'M GONNA SCREAM

[@duckvenger3628]

Hey there! I know yah wrote this comment a little while ago, but would you know a video/website/etc I could go to for further reading into this story of Ariadne being turned to stone? I'm trying to write a few short stories of the Greek Gods and would love to include tales of Dionysus and Ariadne's love, so I wanna take any chance I can get to learn more about them. Thank you! :D

[@yesyouarecorrect1315]

did... did you get this source from a fanfic called "Drunk on Love"? It sounds so similar. And im not tryna sound smart, nor ruining the fun, but didnt Dionysus/Aphrodite turn Ariadne's crown after their marriage? I mean, it _is_ a wedding crown after all.

[@devanskrobarcek2013]

@@yesyouarecorrect1315 no I found about this story after scrolling through the link I post above researching for a project for school but I’m interested in that fanfic can u link it to me

[@devanskrobarcek2013]

@@yesyouarecorrect1315 and I honestly would be surprised if there is major similarities between the fanfic and the story cause a lot of people would read a story and fill in the blank for add there own twist in fanfics

[@evilcow666]

I love how Minos is the only person in Greece whos a jerk because he didn't kill something

[@elijahpadilla5083]

It's more that he killed the wrong thing.

[@kosiak10851]

@@elijahpadilla5083 It's not a killing. Minotaur did all the murders.

[@elijahpadilla5083]

@@kosiak10851 The wrong bull. He sacrificed the wrong bull.

[@kylepessell1350]

A god basically gives him the crown and he decides to try cheating said god by offering a sacrifice of lesser quality while keeping the beautiful bull as a trophy of sorts. That's pretty lame since Poseidon didn't ask for much as all and Minos is so greedy that he's willing to go back on the one promise he made.

[@michaelfruetel273]

@@kosiak10851 That doesn't really absolve Minos. He still orchestrated the killings, which would (I believe) make him guilty of something along the lines of conspiracy to commit murder. (Any lawyers in the room are more than welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.)

[@Fubukio]

Red: "STOP BONING ANIMALS!" Greeks: "NO PROMISES!"

[@drretard0343]

Yes indeed. *Oh wait but I am Greek...* *Fuck*

[@drag0fek0]

@@drretard0343 than a furry you shall be !

[@Reishadowen]

*New Zealand has entered the chat*

[@thetuguar]

Yeah, who are they supposed to bone? Women?

[@RandomThoughtsFromEll]

And the Welsh.

[@augustrempelewert4377]

There's a hilarious side-story to Dionysus and Ariadne's love story. So in-between Dionysus seeing Ariadne on that island and them getting together, a local nymph named Psalacantha approached Dionysus and offered to be his wingman in wooing Ariadne in exchange for sexual favors. Shockingly, Dionysus -- the GREEK GOD OF HEDONISM -- refused this offer. Psalacantha, bitter at being rejected, went and told Ariadne "Hey, don't talk to that drunk god or go anywhere with him, stay away from him" out of spite, so in retaliation Dionysus turned her into a new plant named after herself. Fortunately, Ariadne didn't listen to Psalacantha.

[@BandanaDrummer95]

Red: "Stop boning animals!" Monkey king: "I'm technically a demon, so I'm still fair game." Red: "HORNY JAIL! NOW!"

[@commanderjason7786]

"STOP! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW!"

[@gewreid5946]

Yeah, he was more into the other kind of banging.

[@Punaparta]

@@gewreid5946 Like drums or...?

[@garlandmueller740]

@Mullerornis He got married, so subtext and such. Don't see him being Christian either so the two don't cancel out.

[@BandanaDrummer95]

@Mullerornis Honestly, I think his only reason would be because somebody implied no, but there's a loophole

[@TheTimitor]

Ah yes, my favorite greek myth, "The original fursuit"

[@gingermcgingin1733]

Look up 'skinwalker'

[@allicommentishaiku8205]

Why would you say that It would have cost you nothing Now I'm stuck with this

[@i_need_more_sleep9050]

This made me died 5 times

[@banann_ducc]

@@gingermcgingin1733 i dont think i will

[@ranacroak9156]

I spit out my very, very hot coffee

[@frodoswaggins3132]

“It’s biased, filtered, and offset from the source by several centuries” *Screams in historian*

[@blueteller]

Isn't that what all history is like anyway?

[@Vizivirag]

We gotta cook with what ingredients we have. *feels your pain

[@frodoswaggins3132]

BlueTeller unfortunately, yes

[@Kelaiah01]

Headcanon: I read that Dionysus "dies" during the winter and is "reborn" in the spring to symbolize how grapes wither in winter and then bloom in spring. I also read a theory that Dionysus and Hestia "trade off" the 12th Olympian seat, with Dionysus sitting in it during spring/summer and Hestia during fall/winter. Add to that the fact that one of the versions of Dionysus is the son of Persephone, as well as the fact that Dionysus also has oracular powers, and here's my idea: Whenever Persephone leaves to go back to the Underworld, Dionysus goes with her, and he throws lavish parties there for her and Hades. Ariadne would also go along, being the wife of Dionysus. So I imagine a scene of Hades, Persephone, Dionysus and Ariadne all hanging out, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, making merry and whatnot, when all of a sudden, Dionysus' oracular powers kick in, and he's able to warn Hades and Persephone of Theseus and Pirithous coming to kidnap Persephone. So when Thes and Piri arrive, Hades has a trap in store for them... and after the two men are stuck on the rock, Ariadne "reunites" with her old flame Theseus... and promptly points at him and laughs her head off. Later on, when Dionysus and Ariadne come back to the Underworld, they hear about how Heracles rescued Theseus. At first, Ariadne is disappointed that Theseus' suffering has ended... only to get yet another laugh when she finds out Theseus' butt was left behind on the rock. XD

[@spencertang5155]

Yyyikes Theseus can’t catch a break… served him right I guess for leaving ariadne behind like a jerk but still.

[@artimuos903]

But Hercules saved Theseus and Theseus also married to Hippolyta(Wonder Woman's mom). Also headcanon Dionysus favorite demigod is Percy a son of Poseidon.

[@goatgeta6549]

Also kinda works with the myth of Zagreus being reborn as Dionysus because Zagreus was a son of Hades and Persephone

[@beruktsehaye1018]

@@artimuos903 Percy isn't a real demigod from the myths. He's a character made by Rick Riordan and in the books Dionysus hates him with a passion. But if you're talking about Perseus the one in the mythos then he's not the son of Poseidon but instead a son of Zeus (Like every hero in Greek mythology).

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

@@artimuos903 Actually, in the Percy Jackson novels, Dionysus has a bit of an irrational dislike for Percy, because Theseus was also a son of Poseidon, and Percy reminds him of him...

[@JordanGold5227]

"Stop boning animals" A moral one wouldn't think need be stated, but here we are.

[@SM-qv2om]

Thought that was just common sense

[@raezad]

Furries go a looooong way back

[@JordanGold5227]

@@raezad Furry doesn't equal bestiality.

[@Drakin292]

@@raezad As I said in another comment, "Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people."

[@sailiealquadacil1284]

There was a case recently in our city - horse owners were warned that there was this sicko around who'd break into stables at night and rape horses in their boxes. This can seriously traumatise and even kill them (depending on their size). Thankfully, it seems they caught that bastard.

[@fashioni.star.]

Last time I was this early, Zeus had just promised to be faithful to Hera Which was never. I’ve never been this early.

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

The Story of Io: *am I a joke to you*

[@OwenOfElliott]

He did make that promise. He just didn't keep it

[@Cyber_chelle]

Mood

[@khizarkhan4250]

Same

[@thundergozon6439]

Oh, he promised alright. Just, you know, didn't deliver

[@lystriadensine881]

"...Ariadne is a Cretean goddess of the Labrynth which is dope as hell, but that's NOT what we're here for!" Dangit. Got me all excited for nothing.

[@positivelink6961]

Can we all just admire Daedalus’s professionalism? He essentially gets a kinky commission and refrains from judging his client.

[@videogollumer]

Well, he was a proud craftsman and would gladly take on even the most difficult and/or ridiculous challenge to prove he could do it.

[@airplanes_aren.t_real]

Daedalus was the first commission artist that allowed nsfw

[@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863]

Didn't he kill his nephew or am I just stupid

[@videogollumer]

@@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 Yeah, he attempted and either succeeded or his nephew's life was saved by a god behind the scenes.

[@庫倫亞利克]

@@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 He killed his nephew Perdix out of jealousy (of having more potential as a craftsman than him), yes.

[@uria3679]

Who would be interested in Red covering the myths where Nyx scares Zeus because he was chasing Hypno, the myth where Nezha beats up the Dragon Kings, or the myth where Amaterasu and her husband/brother go on date which ends up getting a Food Goddess killed?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I would like to hear more myths about the titan's

[@akechijubeimitsuhide]

Linfamy did that! (about Amaterasu):D

[@hellocentral5551]

That would be awesome. I would like that.

[@gormauslander]

All of the above

[@idkanymore12]

My top myths I hope she will eventually cover! Typical mythical shenanigans

[@nekogakuro8486]

the midwife who delivered the minotaur: what in the sweet home alabama is this

[@idkanymore12]

Considering the head usually comes first, that must have been hilarious as hell

[@appelofdoom8211]

Midwife: It’s a cow!?

[@reyonXIII]

Fellow midwife: What's an "Alabama"?

[@TyrannoLime]

appelofdoom This was the founding tale of Alabama, a small nation south of Crete that died quickly, as it was only the two shocked Midwives and a handful of cousin-husbands. However, shortly before the American Southeast was colonized an archaeologist found a depiction of a woman birthing what looked like a cow. The archaeologists assumed it was some form of fertility goddess worship and thought the name Alabama would bring prosperity to one the new colonies in the growing USA. Little did he know it started as an explicative in Ancient Greece.

[@sarafontanini7051]

the minotaur prompty ate the midwife. because he does that. cause he's a bastard.

[@ezgiberf5137]

Knowing Dionysos' ancient history and the mysterious side he has(yes I watched your Dionysos video), I think it is fitting that he is actually married to a mysterious labyrinth goddess. Good for them.

[@idkanymore12]

It’s crazy how they’re among the few stable immortal relationships in this pantheon

[@anez1266]

@@idkanymore12 Umm hello! Hades and Persephone Eros and Psyche You forgot these lovable dorks

[@mase5995]

Linezrodrigez 02 Also Perseus and Andromeda

[@reyonXIII]

Alas, all those listed here are the minority. These pairs are one finger short of a full hand. That's not very reassuring

[@crawlingboy]

@@anez1266 ah yes hades the sane one of the big three and his happy goth wife

[@parkerbarnett6684]

Red: Theseus is best boy! Me: ...you sure about that- Red: *immediately shows list of fuck ups going off the page* Me: There it is.

[@lemeres2478]

Best out of the boys of Athens, at least.

[@tiringsarcasm]

@@lemeres2478 I’d pick Alcibiades over him any day.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

Of course he’s best boy! An Athenian kidnapping a Spartan (Helen’s original home) automatically makes him the best boy! Hmm. Actually, I wonder why the Spartans always get a bad rep… oh, yeah. Athens wrote all the stories. Right.

[@christopherfleetwood5252]

Laughs in Zagreus!

[@parkerbarnett6684]

@@christopherfleetwood5252 “Asterius. Other Guy.”

[@nawf4372]

Fun fact: It may seem weird that the child of a herbivore and an omnivore is exclusively a carnivore, when its head is very much the herbivore, but in reality cows are opportunistic carnivores. This means they mostly eat plants, but if the opportunity presents itself, they will eat a living creature. This is commonly seen on farms when a baby chick wonders in the cow field and gets gobbled up. Presumably, the Minotaur's "unique" birth cause a mutation that made plants unappetizing to its pallet, so it only at people. Or it total did eat plants, but being locked in a laberyth didn't give it much opportunity to eat anything except what Minos gave him.

[@david18cruz1989]

also if he probrably didint have 3 stomachs to digest just plants

[@giboi03]

**whispers** *The minotaur is just Melon from Beastars*

[@ghostgabe81]

Reminds me of the Fate version of the Minotaur. Asterios isn't really villainous but he's locked in a Labyrinth and the only edible thing down there is people... bull's gotta eat

[@nnamdiodiaka6684]

So Troy McClure was right when he said “If a cow ever got the chance he'd kill you and everyone you ever cared about”

[@kylepessell1350]

Strangely enough, exactly how much and which parts of the Minotaur are bull / human can vary greatly depending on the source. The widely held belief today that the Minotaur had the head of a bull and the rest of it was human wasn't nearly so widely held back then so it is totally possible that his appearance was quite different in the original.

[@arthel8026]

Red: “don’t let languages die kids” Me: *studies Latin harder*

[@jeffbenton6183]

I approve.

[@Thatslifebro_]

I actually don't think Latin will ever truly die, it's too embeded in Law and medicine so there will always be a need for classes and therefore teachers.

[@puddleslime2238]

@@Thatslifebro_ Plus we actually have it recorded very securely now

[@BawonoSA173]

What about ancient Enochian?

[@selenopheria]

Latin wasn't this hard when I was a kid! [studies French and Norwegian at the same time]

[@shotoboppin9227]

I can just imagine someone in Greece going “Woah my child is a demigod. Who’s the father?” Then she finds out that it’s Zeus and she’s just like “oh ok whatever”

[@JoshtheOverlander]

Zeus may be king of the gods, but having your child turn out to be sired by him is like the biggest disappointment. At least if your sugar daddy was Dionysus, you can expect your son to be a heckin' good party animal.

[@shotoboppin9227]

JoshtheOverlander I agree, finding out that your child is Zeus’s is like “ yay, my child will turn out being a pedophile

[@combine1175]

Hera looms over her with murderous eyes, because justice isn't in her vocabulary.

[@tobistein6639]

"Looks like Little Jimmy down the street has a new half-brother. I'll tell them to prep a seat at Demigods Anonymous for a couple years from now."

[@s67and13]

@@tobistein6639 You seriously underestimate how quickly demigods age.

[@lordofinnistrad8757]

Fun fact: Dionysus references Theseus ditching Ariadne in Hades.

[@lissaquon607]

Posideon also apologizes at one point for the Minotaur. He refuses to explain just says its a a long and boring story.

[@whatgsaid]

I SCREAMED when I saw it come up in the game super casually.

[@ForrestFox626]

Supergiant Games did their research

[@atotalfiasco4213]

Theseus says something too if you have the yarn of ariadne on you in his fight

[@alyseleem2692]

@@lissaquon607 ........ Some say he's actually his son.... Anyway,he's the cause behind his existence, at least.

[@mrmimeisfunny]

Ariadne: My BF just killed my half bull half brother and ditched me on an Island. Dionysus: That's rough buddy. Want some alcohol? I wish I had a friend like Dionysus, or any friend.

[@reyonXIII]

I can just imagine them. They're not just a sweet divine couple, they're legit drinking buddies. Their idea of a romantic evening is trying to drink each other under the table...and then going at it under the table. It's messy but damn if it ain't sweet.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

Aw, I'm sure you'll find friends! There are plenty of dionysusy people out there to find!

[@messman10]

It's the internet: full of the drive for booze and existential loneliness of the unloved loners.

[@segevstormlord3713]

@@reyonXIII She was into him because he could help her forget her troubles. He was into her because she could ALWAYS find where they left their car, no matter how drunk they got.

[@薇vern]

I’d like a Ariadne x Dionysus fan fiction please

[@davididiart5934]

"Stop boning animals!" This is ancient Athens. You're being unreasonable here.

[@mcpugh]

Zeus: You have no right to say that.

[@HaakonTheRayquaza]

Red: STOP BONING ANIMALS!! Loki: hey it's not my fault, he boned me!

[@thegreatstoneddragon9432]

Hey, you're the one who rolled a Nat 20 on Seduction.

[@HaakonTheRayquaza]

@@thegreatstoneddragon9432 huh? what do you mean?

[@_lucas_2066]

He got raped by a horse as a horse (It hurt me to tipe that.)

[@nidohime6233]

@@_lucas_2066 You mean a mare.

[@_lucas_2066]

Stop. Now

[@kaijufan2000yt]

The fact that you made Poseidon literary gave Aphrodite a twenty dollar bill is just perfect.

[@zawarudo1161]

20 Dollars are 20 dollars

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

“Ok we are running out of stuff to make myths with what do we do?” “Just steal Aphrodites shipping abilities and use that on two animals” “Cool”

[@moritamikamikara3879]

"Those Minoans are weird and they worship bulls." "Hey, I bet they f*ck cows too." -Some random Mycenaean dudes.

[@AxxLAfriku]

One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no KZbinr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear dad

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

AxxL why tf are you here bot? If your not a bot stop being a 5 year old

[@dubspool]

AxxL hey Zeus? Yeah the lighting bolt.

[@nikkitaloff8655]

OSP: Posted 12 seconds ago Me, supposed to be doing my homework: THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT WHEN HE SAID TO PROCRASTINATE BY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH OUR TIME

[@onyxCD331]

cheers, i'll drink to that bro, supposed to be doing homework too

[@adrielcruz2736]

Nikki Taloff supposed to be paying attention to a google meet, but osp dropped a video, so rip my grades

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

I’m currently doing online school

[@severeanxietyandagreatsens8313]

I mean...we’re you doing history?

[@adrielcruz2736]

Raphaella Ponting nope

[@mera-mori]

“Forced oceanic trade”...”also know as piracy” Not gonna lie I laughed a bit to much.... Edit: Thank you for the attention fellow _beings_

[@Inconsolable_Weeb]

It’s a very sarcastic joke :3

[@D00000T]

It’s not stealing, it’s just forced gifting

[@angiepagan535]

An overly sarcastic one :)

[@comicstrider4851]

*_B R A N D I N G_*

[@merrittanimation7721]

Otherwise known as "freelance trading"

[@Tobbe9975432]

It’s kinda amazing how simple it is to turn this less disgusting. Poseidon: ”So, you like my bull eh?” *Puts a curse on Minos so that his next child will be the minotaur* Minos: ”Oh come on!”

[@Troublethecat]

Pretty much exactly how it went in the book of Greek Myths I read in middle school lol.

[@DDlambchop43]

Joseph Campbell used that joke in a lecture. "So you love the bull? Alright, I'll make your woman love the bull too." something like that.

[@AzureAiluren]

Just to tack more on the Theseus side of things: Those fourteen Athenian youths? Tribute for a war that Athens lost to Crete, varying mythological justifications abound. The entire story is basically a revenge-fic.

[@gutsmasterson2488]

Make sure your fics are written somewhere that isn’t the internet so you can mess with future archeologists.

[@MrAuthor3DS]

Aren't a lot of Greek legends revenge-fics?

[@artofthepossible7329]

@@MrAuthor3DS Revenge fics with the added bonus of consequences.

[@Kurai_69420]

Basically revenge Westerns before revenge Westerns were a thing

[@ChaserNeos]

You know, the minotaur gets screwed over. I almost sympathize with him: a poor misfit that gets mistreated by his stepfather for looking the way he does and has no healthy, emotional outlet. People forget he has a name. It's Asterius.

[@DragonEmperorMycen]

Chaser Neos consider that this was his reality growing up. Yeah, the minotaur ate men but Asterios didnt ask to be born. When you think about the fact that other than the half monster thing, he probably aged around the same rate as humans, its even more messed up

[@zoushaomenohu]

Not to mention the fact that given his bovine features, a carnitarian diet was probably NOT healthy for him. He has a ruminant head for crying out loud! He needs his greens!

[@jeffbenton6183]

@@zoushaomenohu yeah, but a human stomach. No way he could've digested grass effectively.

[@lucasferreyra777]

read the house of asterion by borges

[@adaritter9597]

He- he does need to eat people to live, though, is the thing

[@merrittanimation7721]

Fun fact?: You know Phaedra from the myth of Hippolytus? That's Ariadne's sister. *Theseus abandoned a girl and then married her gods damned sister*

[@kaykeunil]

Huh this does not surprise me in the least since Theseus has no brain usually

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Honestly? He deserved being trapped by Hades in the underworld, not to mention is he's fault he's son died.

[@JoshtheOverlander]

@@despinasgarden.4100 Really didn't deserve to be freed, tbh

[@alasdeangel3929]

Ancient Greece, everyone!!

[@oracle8535]

And then kidnapped Helen when he was bored of Ariadne's sister.

[@pastelguts6182]

Dionysus on a random island: snnnnnzzzzz A maenad: Hey Dionysus! Theres this girl crying over here! What should we do! Dionysus: Uhhhh well see if she wants any wine! And that my friends is how my favorite greek god met his wife

[@WhoamI-wc7pj]

So romantic😭😍

[@pelipoika88]

@@WhoamI-wc7pj Definitely more romantic than how my favourite greek god met his wife. "Hey bro, I kidnapped this goddess for you." "Zeus WTF!?" And somehow they lived happily ever after.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

@@pelipoika88 In Greece, you take the romantic stories where you can get them.

[@kiptheott]

Can we get a little more info about that "Ariadne may have been a Cretan goddess" thing?

[@Sunkuwong]

There is a mycenaean goddess named Mistress of the Labyrinth. Nothing is known about her. That's about as much as I know. I have some short stories about Mycenaean gods and how they're forgotten, but they're mostly baseless and not the best if you're actually trying to learn, since the source material is nonexistent.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Ariadne is married to Dionysus, i really want to see a video of them getting toguether

[@thefriesofLockeLamora]

Seconded

[@arandomqueerfanpeep7655]

Please Red give us more

[@m.g.9468]

@@despinasgarden.4100 She is the goddess of labyrinths (aka of having/overcoming orientation problems) married to the god of alcohol (aka getting/beeing drunk). If you have ever problems with orientation or coordination after "worshipping" Dionysus, you pray to his counterpart/wife Ariadne to find your way. Maybe the Kretes had a party game in which you gor drunk and then had to find your way while having your eyes covered or being locked in a dark basement/ tunnel system. Dionysus probably fell in love with her after she helped him getting home after he had a blast. And she fell for him because... oh well he is the god of parties, wouldn't you?

[@rain-cesiagavden5494]

No one’s mentioning how Minos’ wife used the pick up line “ya like jazz?” on the bull

[@MsPageMistress]

You know what's funny? Another video got released today that also said that line!

[@cartoonishidealism582]

BEEstiality

[@OriginalCreatorSama]

I've been trying to ignore it, honestly.

[@yourmom5038]

I had to pause the video, that drawing made me laugh so hard.

[@sunspotmill1291]

I noticed..

[@bobbyturtle8766]

“Stop boning animals!” The fact that this needs to said is disturbing

[@moralityisnotsubjective5]

Alongside stop boning kids. This is the world we live in, folks.

[@SairinEarthsea]

@@moralityisnotsubjective5 and relatives. I'm starting to think humans are constantly in heat and just want to f*** until they die.

[@Kami-ny5jo]

Reminds me of that passage I read in the bible "you must not have sexual relations with an animal" the FACT that this needed to be said is baffling.

[@PutoMedicoBrujo]

of course the "stop boning animals" had to be said, AGAIN, dont you remember the "animal brides" video?

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

Yes it is

[@Dr.Matchstick]

I just had a horrible realization, minos is a model father figure, he didn't leave his son, he fed his son, and got mad when his son died even though he isn't even his son!

[@isaacorr3180]

I mean he still locked the minotaur in the labyrinth so he isn't really a model father

[@Dr.Matchstick]

@@isaacorr3180 oh fair point, I think at the time I made this I had a explanation but i have long since forgotten

[@unm0tivateddumdum]

@@isaacorr3180to be fair if minos didnt lock up the minotaur then Crete could b in danger family is a family but he has a kingdom to protect

[@justintime3656]

He's the father that spet up

[@concept5631]

​@@isaacorr3180 It was either that or the minotaur would probably eat his subjects.

[@unrandomman3946]

What Red says: Don’t let languages die. What I hear: PRESERVE ALL THE MEMES!!!

[@olivierluisin1790]

the dna of the souls

[@CJCroen1393]

A lot of ancient mythologies did exactly that, so yeah! Let's preserve all the memes for future generations!

[@OriginalCreatorSama]

@@CJCroen1393 and in 1,000 years when all that's left is memes, people will think 2020 English was nothing but this

[@blarg2429]

@@OriginalCreatorSama And they'll be right.

[@quynlanvuorensyrja5484]

Technical language is the greatest, most widespread meme on earth, so yeah, go for it.

[@thebestcentaur]

Rest of the Pantheon: why can't you be normal?! Zeus: *screams*

[@hiimchrisj]

The fact that the Minotaur seems easily killable in the sense that it dies by conventional means, yet Minos opted not to kill it outright, it sounds to me like Minos didn't consider the Minotaur a problem, just something you want to keep away from your own citizens. So him getting mad at Theseus for killing it seems appropriate to me. If he wanted it dead he probably would've killed it long before that rather than building it a home and giving it regular sacrifices.

[@shadowclaw7210]

This guy makes it sound like Minos kinda cared about him?

[@concept5631]

​@@shadowclaw7210 Love is a strange thing.

[@phoebusapollo8365]

Or maybe killing a monster is easier said that done? Mortal or otherwise?

[@earlwajenberg]

Maybe he kept it to terrorize the Athenians, in which case it massively backfired.

[@twotimesj6478]

“HES A GROWING BOY WHO NEEDS SPACE”

[@masterofchaos7282]

Kind of want to see an OSP video on Chiron since while he’s not a god, he does play a decent role in some of the mythology (mostly being a teacher to the hero) and I think it’d be interesting to get a video on the forgotten son of Cronus.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I would really like to hear more of him, i also really like he's relationship with Apollo (he's adoptive dad)

[@geekacelol8982]

I wonder if Kronos ate Chiron as well...?

[@Boss_Isaac]

@@geekacelol8982 Nope. Kheiron was born of an affair that Kronos had with a nymph, and its said that he was born a centaur because when Rhea caught Kronos with said nymph, Ol' Pappa Cannibal took the form of a horse and immediately noped outta there.

[@marseldagistani1989]

@@Boss_Isaac so kinda like Loki with the horse?

[@Boss_Isaac]

@@marseldagistani1989 Well, its implied that the jötunn's horse raped Mare!Loki.

[@defensivekobra3873]

broke: calling yourself an pirate woke: "i am an merchant that deals in forced oceanic trade"

[@thomasnguyen5197]

the best version of being so woke

[@wrath2501]

You can also use the term "adventure capitalist."

[@CliffCardi]

I prefer “High-Risk Trader”

[@skvaderarts7009]

"Cargo Embargo Redistributor" is the way I like to spin it. Pirate is such a naughty yet accurate way to put it.

[@RavenCloak13]

defenseive kobra So... Privater?

[@s.g.7572]

4:47 Ariadne's shy lil blush makes me so sad, knowing how badly Theseus treats her later

[@xaimaralexisii9095]

STOP BONING ANIMALS! "That sign can't stop me, I can't read anything from inside this fursuit." ~Pashipae probably

[@JustinY.]

So basically the Minotaur was one of the first furry fanfictions to ever by conceived by mankind.

[@anon_serenade]

Bro, how are you still kicking

[@a.h.tvideomapping4293]

Corly I’m honestly not sure how’s he’s staying relevant for that long

[@siberiandante]

Mayhaps

[@qwertyasdf9290]

@@a.h.tvideomapping4293 he went into a 2 year slumber and awoken a few weeks ago.

[@eh9618]

I can't unread that ever again

[@Voidway20]

Me: Oh! An episode on the Minotaur! I’m really excited on how Red is gonna break down the origins of the myth and explain things like the Labyrinth! Red: How was the Minotaur created? Me: oh. *oh no.*

[@kilianortmann9979]

My favorite explanation for the Labyrinth is that it refers to a double axe, called Labrys. And the palace of Knossos (pretty big and labyrinthy) was called Labyrinth, as in house of the many Labrys'. (Labrys'es?)

[@marseldagistani1989]

Ancient Greeks: Bestiality is part of our religion

[@carlosroo5460]

@@marseldagistani1989 And look to where that got you.

[@kereminde]

@@carlosroo5460 Well, not forgotten, that's for sure!

[@stars4809]

When a mommy and a bull love each other very much...

[@nomamamano]

" what kind of union could have made half man half bull?" "well that one is pretty straight forward, but you're not gonna like it" *rule34 has entered the chat*

[@merrittanimation7721]

I'm reminded of that gag in the Bellerophon video which showed a bird and a horse on a date to explain how Pegasus came to be.

[@oracle8535]

At least this one is better than Oedipus... Maybe... Kind of?

[@hp22h78]

The fact that she even had a cow suit commissioned...

[@ihcfn]

@@oracle8535 I feel sorry for Oedipus, the poor guy didn't have a clue about everything that happened until after the fact. Then has a complex named after him as if he did it all on purpose!

[@SoulOfTheReaver]

I uhh.... I checked. There IS rule34 of this exact event...... No exceptions indeed.

[@rynop99]

PLEASEEEEE a video on Hecate/Hekate! She’s a fascinating goddess and has a silly amount of epithets and stories relating to her

[@hersheysbar28]

^^^^^ This

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

YES

[@rafagarau4518]

yes pleaseeeeeee

[@omarsalem1219]

Ah she turns someone into a ferret and helps demeter look for persephone oh also medea used to work at one of her temples I think that's really it

[@hunterfox6176]

A few thoughts: 1)Theseus needed to have a spool of thread to help guide him back through what was essentially a looping spiral. Not even an actual maze. 2)Dionysus has one of the most stable relationships in all of the Greek pantheon. And now I am just picturing him and Ariadne having a couples date with Hades and Persephone, talking shit about Theseus. 3)Seriously, don't bone animals. How hard is that to grasp.

[@InsaneFoxx]

I'd enjoy listening in on that couple's date conversation

[@Ardito3709]

Don't forget about Eros and Psyche.

[@Evonne_Lee]

getting the impression Theseus isn't the brightest bulb in the box here

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

@oH well,lord! It differs from telling to telling, but the classic labyrinth diagram is a single corridor gone weird.

[@segevstormlord3713]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 ​ @oH well,lord! , I'd never heard, before this video, about the "dancing path built for Ariadne" before, but it actually makes a lot of sense, since a classical labyrinth was just that: a singular, if complicated, path. There was no getting lost on it. For it to trap something within, it would have to be locked in, not lost inside. We tend, today, to think of labyrinths as particularly large or complicated mazes (using the word "labrynthine" to describe something horribly confusing and hard to navigate), and it is in line with the Minotaur myth's claims that it required a special string to help Theseus find his way out, and could trap the minotaur inside. Of even further interest: in D&D, minotaurs are _explicitly immune to mazes_ and can always find their way out! Which is even more weirdly removed from the myth, given the purpose of the original labyrinth was to keep the minotaur inside.

[@bucca2]

Kind of surprised you didn't mention this, but Theseus marries Phaedra, Ariadne's little sister, in a true move of dickery. Phaedra, you will note, is how Aphrodite gets Hippolytus killed.

[@Blokewood3]

Theseus's timeline is confusing, but he probably didn't marry Phaedra until many years later, since Hippolytus came from Theseus's marriage to Hippolyta.

[@Chaotic42Kami]

​@@Blokewood3 But wasn't Hyppolyta killed when Herakles took her belt? And wasn't that way before Theseus could've married her?

[@Blokewood3]

@@Chaotic42Kami That's another confused part of the story, but in many versions of the story Hippolyta actually survives her encounter with Heracles. In the ones where she does die, Theseus may end up marrying her sister Antiope instead (but for me, I think it makes more sense to assume Hippolytus was named after his mother).

[@sydhenderson6753]

@@Blokewood3 The version I'm familiar with is that she gives it to Heracles voluntarily. She may get killed by the other Amazons later.

[@anastasianicolaenco4476]

1:07 _mysterious hieroglyphs unlike any seen on earth_ I wonder what Lovecraft would have thought about this

[@thundergozon6439]

take my like, you beautiful person

[@pairot01]

I mean, we found them on earth though

[@oracle8535]

@@pairot01 Hush. Do not spoil the fun. I'll pay you likes.

[@anastasianicolaenco4476]

@@thundergozon6439 Thank youu(/≧▽≦)/

[@tobistein6639]

Lovecraft was growing up around the time these discoveries were made. He might have heard of them.

[@kitkat25195]

In some stories it’s stated that Ariadne would only help Theseus if he promised to marry her when they arrived back to his kingdom. Theseus doesn’t want to marry Ariadne but still wants to get help, so he agrees and then when they get to the island he sees this as a perfect opportunity to abandon her. Wow.

[@nkbujvytcygvujno6006]

Even if that was true, it wasn’t in the original version. And there was nothing stopping him from refusing to marry her once they got back to his kingdom, considering she had no more power once she left her own kingdom… aaand you shouldn’t teach people that deserting a girl to likely die on an unpopulated island is a reasonable response to them wanting to marry you, with you having all the power to reject them normally.

[@sydhenderson6753]

@@nkbujvytcygvujno6006 I've seen a version where she went cavorting with the Meanads and Theseus abandoned her because she was gory. Don't know if that's from actual mythology, though.

[@izzy1221]

A bull having higher standards than a human queen...I should be taking notes from this animal. *Know your worth my friends*

[@oakrunt]

also, don't be fooled by wooden cow suits, friends

[@DarkSol16]

@@oakrunt A wooden cow suit made by the genius inventor Daedalus himself though. It's like getting the smartest engineer in the world to create the best sex doll.

[@gamingdemigodxiii5630]

Wesley Bird IT’S A TRAP!

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@DarkSol16 More like the ultimate murrsuit.

[@carlosnicolas2009]

Red: Stop boning animals! Zeus: -turns into an animal- HA! Loophole.

[@BrieezySoul]

Fun Fact: The name “Minos” was a title of the ruler, like Pharaoh. Not useful to know, just fun. I love these ruins! I’ve been to those on Crete.

[@Riot_Bird]

That was a fun fact thank you 😊

[@Starii_64]

So king minos is basically just called king king?

[@BrieezySoul]

@Vice- Virgo And now I learned something too! 😂

[@demonkingsparda]

So Minotaur means Bull of the King? That sounds badass af.

[@tedvendlegard9776]

@Vice- Virgo Or Sharia law, or CD disc,

[@netherillager5959]

5:16 In a line from Dionisius in Hades, he actually mentions this encounter, as well as congratulating Zagreus for tearing Theseus a new one.

[@gabbyabbott4965]

The only two gods who don’t chronically cheat on the wives.

[@TS17ADS]

@@gabbyabbott4965 actually there's a third one Eros And now I am imagining three of them sitting around a table and arguing their wife is the best one.

[@trent800]

Technically Typhon doesn’t cheat either

[@omarsalem1219]

@Gabby Abbott actually Hades cheated on persephone twice with minthe the river nymph who persephone turned into the first mint plant and a sea nymph called leuce

[@ameliorateepoch9917]

Luece was a roman add on, so she never never existed in Greek mythology, Also Minthe was before Persephone and got jealous that Hades married another woman, so she started saying she was a better lover to Hades then promptly got turned into a mint plant by Persephone.

[@fishnewt1331]

3:35 “But that’s a story for.....four years ago, apparently.” Ah, a new meaning to the phrase “A tale as old as time”.

[@BlissfulBluebell]

Actual fun fact: several archaeologists had actually dug for this mythical labyrinth but came up with nothing and theorized that the Minotaur and his maze represented the earthquakes that plagued Athens due to being directly on a fault line. The sacrifices were actually the people being swallowed up by the earth. As for bonking a bull... idk they were probably drunk 😂

[@zombyninja2576]

maybe they looked at how the minoans like bulls and just assumed them boned them?

[@linusmota9712]

@@zombyninja2576 considering how Athenians had the worst types of fetishes they just thought it was normal stuff

[@MCArt25]

on the other hand the Minoans had a literal bull cult and may have worshipped a god called Asterion

[@stevenqu3]

@@zombyninja2576 Now I'm just wondering how many cow suits Daedelus had to build

[@lissaquon607]

@@MCArt25 wait... isnt the minotaur named sometimes Asterios? Might be why Minos was mad at Theseus- he killed their god bull monster.

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

*Daedalus:* "Pasiphaë, but is this hole for?" *Pasiphaë:* "Duh. That's for me to get inside the suit, Daedalus." *Daedalus:* "Woman, don't tell me how to engineer. I KNOW what that hole is for. What is this OTHER HOLE for?!" *Pasiphaë:* "...Cow stuff."

[@kwaitefuni9152]

big oof

[@babypyroshark2604]

Like udders and udders

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

@@agata-1337 Always have.

[@ahorribleterribleperson]

Tbh, if Daedalus is already popular enough to get commissioned for *this* , I'm pretty sure he made MUCH *MUCH* worst.

[@fjhatsu]

Ahh yes the ancient fetish commision

[@RelativelyBest]

Theseus was my favorite Greek hero when I was a kid. In retrospect, I'm not really sure why.

[@Bloodlyshiva]

Because you didn't hear about the bad bits, or glossed over them.

[@stevenpassmore5740]

Red: "Stop Boning Animals!" Zeus: "so it's kosher if I turn into Animals to bone?" Red: "NOOOO" Hera coming from above at Zeus with a spear -we'll be right back

[@carlosroo5460]

Don't bother, I'm done it with Zeus, in fact I think I'm gonna go watch videos of Kratos kicking his home breaker ass.

[@chadfalardeau3259]

Thor is a way better thunder god

[@GenericProtagonist118]

-we now return to your regularly scheduled program Zeus: *screams of agony*

[@jordanfleming7022]

Considering how many abnormally large and powerful but otherwise normal animals there are in greek myths, I’d say its very likely Zeus went around making demi-animals as frequently as he made demi-gods.

[@redwitch12]

@@jordanfleming7022 Zeus (watching the Calydonian Boar rampage around while Artemis stares pointedly at him): "Look, I just thought the Crommyonian Sow was a woman that had shapeshifted into a giant pig, so I figured it was gonna be a mutual kink indulgence, okay? I didn't know it was ACTUALLY A PIG and was gonna have a GIANT ANGRY DEMIGOD PIGBABY, okay?!"

[@manaalwajidali3408]

I love how we're slowly getting to "Last time in OSP Greek shenanigans" territory and getting recaps from Red's old videos :D

[@wedran9225]

"Minotaur" means "Minos' bull" if i'm not mistaken, He did have a first name. Its either Asterios, Asterius, Asterion or something of that variety.

[@ngiorgos]

You're not mistaken about minotaur, ταύρος (tavros) in modern greek means bull I did not know about his real name though, thaks for sharing! It seems to have some 'star' connotation... I don't know why...

[@Gogetossj50]

@@ngiorgos Asterios basically was/is just a common greek name.

[@wedran9225]

@@ngiorgos thank you for confirming! And i saw another comment saying Asterion was Minos' fathers' name, so maybe its that.

[@Gogetossj50]

​@@ngiorgos With that being said however it was propably symbolic in the case of the minotaur: The star of the Labyrinth in the Cretan coins, according to some scholars, like Karl Kerenyi.

[@xavierfaust9417]

In the game Hades, Theseus and his minotaur friend Asterius are bosses in Elysium.

[@lamcb.9476]

The exchange between Asterius and Zagreus is so sad if you think about it in context. Asterius asked what the surface was like and Zagreus responded kinda aloof until he realized Asterius would have never seen the sky since he was locked up in a labyrinth

[@nowhereman6019]

King Minos: Cucked by a literal bull. Also, was the Minotaur just a NEET living in his step-dads basement? Minotaur: "GIMME TENDIES!" Minos: *throws him some Athenian youths*

[@johnwilliamson4748]

Yes but not so much by choice it's more like his step dad locked him in the closet under the stairs out of spite and then used him as a why to threaten, humiliate and demoralise his enemies. In a way the minotaur was punished for existing while also being used a tool to punish others for existing.

[@ShiftyMcGoggles]

@@johnwilliamson4748 So, what you're saying, he was kinda the harry potter of crete.

[@johnwilliamson4748]

@@ShiftyMcGoggles Yea expect he ate people and instead of casting magic he was just a large cow.

[@pdreding]

@@johnwilliamson4748 So he's the J.K. Rowling of Crete, then.

[@genieglasslamp5028]

I kinda hate that I understood this entire joke.

[@CrazyGamerDragon64]

The way Red nonchalantly says "Oh, hey where'd that thing come from?" at 3:03 cracks me up for some reason

[@TheCamster4545]

Ah! That Ariadne tangent was incredibly interesting, especially the concept of the marriage of her to Dionysus, or labyrinths/mazes to madness and intoxication. I would love to see a video on that, even if it is just a theorizing video. I know how twisted mythology can get

[@michaelrauch8629]

I honestly feel bad for Minotaur who did nothing wrong he just was born and was forced into the monstrous role he was

[@GSBarlev]

It's also like, how exactly was it determined that he'd only eat humans? He's half bovine--I can totally imagine that he would have happily subsisted grazing in a large field, but his jerk of an adopted father was like, "No royal prince will be caught eating grass! No, let's use him to keep our vassal-states in line!"

[@donnguyen1107]

Me too! Heck stories even give the Minotaur a NAME: Asterion/Asterius, which I’m thankful for the Hades game for doing. Some even call him Ariadne’s brother. Also remember in our reality a lot of people historically drug, starve or beat animals into becoming aggressive man-eaters, so who’s to say Minos didn’t do something like that to Asterion to force him into eating people

[@donnguyen1107]

Check out Icarus and Apollo by Jay Bell. The Minotaur/Asterion in that book turns out to be a gentle giant who’s been secretly fed and given books by Daedalus and secretly shows the 14 tributes and Theseus and Ariadne a kinda back door out of the labyrinth instead of killing them. He’s even implied to have a crush on a boy somewhere

[@michaelrauch8629]

@@donnguyen1107 will do

[@GSBarlev]

@@donnguyen1107 That's beautiful.

[@Percival917]

"Mythologically, Ariadne and the labyrinth go WAY back." *GASP!* THAT'S WHY THE ITEM THAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE LABYRINTH IN ETRIAN ODYSSEY (in the 3DS entries only) IS CALLED THE ARIADNE THREAD!

[@francismarchand1637]

In french, we have an idiom, "le fil d'Ariane", literally "Ariadne's thread", which means a guiding idea or concept, or a solution to a tough problem.

[@nedwardnobqop6568]

Yeah man they go all the way back to the 3DS

[@Nazuiko]

Ariadne's Thread is a standard thing in Atlus games; It's the 'return home' item in Persona and SMT: Imagine as well I think.

[@appelofdoom8211]

Even ignoring that bit the main thing ariadne does in any version of the story is let theseus find his back out of the labyrinth by giving him some yarn.

[@Vfar0fa]

"Stop bonning animals!" *Zeus has left the chat*

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

@Oscar Wind yes

[@decoral]

Loki: *nervous sweating*

[@Blokewood3]

Technically Zeus didn't bone any animals, he *was* the animal.

[@Licardss]

"Forced Trade is known as Piracy". I mean, your not wrong

[@nowhereman6019]

"We get your cargo and you get to not die. I'd call that a fair trade!"

[@safetymeasures167]

Yes, she is. Trade, forced or not, means giving someone else something in return for something else. Piracy is breaking and entering, but with boats

[@safetymeasures167]

@Christopher Stanley giving what the gift of life? And how?

[@Boss_Isaac]

@@safetymeasures167 The peeps your'e pirating, i.e., gimme your stuff and me and my crew won't stab you all and chuck into the sea.

[@JustSomeDude42]

I think one of the reasons Minos doesn’t straight up kill the monster is that’s it’s technically his son by marriage, and it’s a big no no to kill your family in Hellenistic Greece so Minos built the labyrinth as a… happy(?) compromise where he didn’t have to properly deal with the Minotaur but also not kill it.

[@an8strengthkobold360]

Minos wearing one of those "I'm not the step Dad, I'm the Dad that stepped up" shirts.

[@Freekymoho]

Hot take: King Minos is just the world's most commited step-dad

[@thebronzedragon1]

I mean Dude not only didn't kill the kid, but gave him a killer play pad AND a string of high quality meat So.... Yea kinda

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I honestly like to think that he got mad that theseus killed Asterion because he actually cared for him.

[@stugod5000]

@@despinasgarden.4100 wait the minotaur has an actual name?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@stugod5000 yeah, he's name is Asterion

[@wickederebus]

This almost makes the Okeanos Singularity seem worth it.

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

"Don't let languages die, kids." *Nods frantically* I'm doing my best, but I don't suppose you could go back 400-ish years and get rid of linguicidal England for me?

[@jafortune]

Hey I'm working on a time travelling machine, but so far it only travels to the future at a rate of 1 second per second.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

Gaelic or Gaeilge? Either way, you can do it!

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 Scottish Gaelic for me! But I have Irish-speaking friends and can have a conversation in it. I'm in Australia though so I also deal with language reclamation/maintenance here, and Gaelic-speakers in Canada are obviously close with indigenous language communities there, too...

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

@@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh Aha! I have heard of the Gaelic communities in Australia, and it's nice to see the language spoken on the other side of the planet. Possibly from you, actually, since I think it was on a comment on this channel. I'm more familiar with our *other* language (Scots) but I really want to learn Gaelic someday. That's super interesting; I do like the cultural cross-linking there. Humans working together to keep culture alive is always a good time.

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 It was probably me! There are other Gaelic-speakers in Australia but a lot of them are older and can't use the internet very well! Most information online (especially on KZbin) is stuff I've said. I can't use Scots at all, although I suppose I have a better knowledge of it than most non-speakers since I've grown up around a lot of Scots-speakers, including people who use Scots with me.

[@mera-mori]

32 seconds. Not to bad. This upload made my already good day brilliant!

[@cheesebanditenterprises]

I got 2 minutes nice

[@mr.potato2223]

Wait I know you YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE WHAT SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENSE

[@americanuscaesar]

I got 5 seconds

[@mera-mori]

cebcrb niceeeeeee

[@Zol_1312]

@@cheesebanditenterprises I got three.

[@TheCeekon]

Daedalus's professionalism is something to be admired. lady walks up to him and basically asks for the worlds first fursuit and the guys like "Whatever floats your boat lady" and just, does the job anyways.

[@negargeliyerdi3766]

The amount of bestiality in ancient greek myths is scary

[@im-here-for-the-cult-stuff]

Agreed.

[@nowhereman6019]

I bet it was pretty common back then for women to be caught banging animals and then claim it was actually Zeus in disguise.

[@ezgiberf5137]

it is still quite common especially in not quite developed patriarchic socities (where you are not aloud have sex with women before marriage.) there was a documentary about it too you can look it up.

[@alasdeangel3929]

@@ezgiberf5137 I will not subject my brain to such a thing. Thank you very much.

[@morganrobinson8042]

Not really. This is pretty much like a slightly more secular version of Shinto. Like, pretty much every animist religion has a pretty permeable barrier as to what constitutes a person. There's a wide spectrum between animal as we understand them and actual humans that's mostly filled in with shapeshifting gods and trickster entities. Animals as a symbol and link to primal forces in the place of a parent is pretty basic heroic characterization literally everywhere. The unfortunate implications only really kick in when you try to reconcile the understanding that humans are fundamentally distinct from other animals with the way their use as symbols can be distinctly opposed to that division. Greek mythology is kind of right on the edge of that sort of religion though, which is why the animals are distinctly animals so much of the time, when a more mystically significant actor would probably have been present in the earlier versions. The more they removed themselves from direct nature worship, the more the myths based in those psychologically primal images became remote to their understanding of themselves, the more animals became literally animals instead of something more like how pretty much any tribe, anywhere, ever, has treated them as symbols for pretty much everything.

[@idkanymore12]

Fun fact : On their wedding day, Dionysus gave Ariadne a crown of stars, which when she died became the constellation Corona Borealis

[@deadtempleknight.6332]

ah so it's their fault Corona is here

[@Sami-zr3hy]

That's cute but its slightly painful to read in 2020 haha

[@CJCroen1393]

And after she died, he went into the Underworld personally to get her back! And unlike Orpheus, _he succeeded!_ (And also he got Semele back too so win-win!)

[@isaaceshleman2833]

Random fun fact to mention: The Minotaur actually had a given name, Asterion, after Minos’s “real name”, which apparently was something he had.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

There is also a poem called "the house of Asterion" that is basically the minotaur myth trough Asterion's eyes.

[@JoshtheOverlander]

*Hugs Asterios* I might not use you at all, but you are the best Berserker-class, bull boi

[@isaaceshleman2833]

beetlewine's channel I didn’t know that, that’s cool. But, weird question: Which Asterion?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@isaaceshleman2833 Asterion the minotaur

[@ghostgabe81]

@@JoshtheOverlander Hey when you get to be Euryale's BF it's worth it

[@goodpol5022]

“Nothing good ever happens to heros Tommy. Let me tell you the story of Theseus.”

[@leondyer3855]

Was looking for this

[@LadyMythos315]

"You want to be a hero tommy? *THEN DIE LIKE ONE* "

[@duxhunt]

@@LadyMythos315 Tommy immediately gets stabbed

[@undercoverfangirl5491]

Tommy and Theseus? I see no difference. No difference at all.

[@estefaniadecastro3176]

Dream Smp reference