Mitch Hedberg - Best One Liners

[@garagejams]

I used to love Mitch Hedburn. I still do, but I used to too.

[@James-k1s8g]

Ahh you get it. lol

[@brucelawson642]

Hahaha...good one😂

[@ModMonitor]

I read that in his voice

[@gregorykrug8034]

Mitch Hedberg jokes are like rice... oh, nevermind.

[@mahlonedwards6826]

Best ! But Hedberg.

[@johnnoegel7394]

He told a joke that didn't get much on laughs and then said "I will fix that joke. I'll take out all the words and put in new words"😂..... priceless!😂😂😂😂

[@codyeble0713]

We'll call this "hit or miss"

[@ross798]

Just reading that cracked me up.

[@Purplealien123]

I’m reading it in his voice…hilarious! 😆

[@felipebaez3512]

lol yea that was in Strategic Grill Locations. "dont f up the bass tonight, Chuck, cuz we're on CD here...ha'righhht"

[@rocklee33221]

@@felipebaez3512I can hear the wood bass now

[@enolastraight577]

"Here's a picture of me when I was younger. ALL PICTURES of you are you when you were younger!"

[@phroskies]

I tell people, "of course it is in the last place you look, because once you find it, you stop looking"

[@selfarmy3361]

Ain't it about time someone said that? 😂

[@nickvitale6024]

Mitch was hysterical. His perspectives on normal everyday circumstances was brilliant. RIP

[@Diesel-ship23]

What happened to Mitch?

[@jeremyjohnson9585]

​@@Diesel-ship23he passed away from an overdose. If you like his humor, then check out Flula Borg and his vlogs. He has a brilliant outside the box take similar to Mitch.

[@74jojo]

​@@Diesel-ship23accidental drug overdose

[@azrielstone4515]

@@Diesel-ship23He died in 2005 due to an accidental overdose.

[@polepino]

@@azrielstone4515 he was also a habitual user, so by the time he died in 05, his internals weren't exactly fresh. RIP for sure

[@mentlinc]

His delivery style is so outrageous. Even when the joke is mid the silliness of the premise makes you snicker

[@02SplinterCell02]

Trait of a great comedian “you don’t have to be funny to make people laugh”

[@daviddavidson5523]

@@02SplinterCell02 wtf does that even mean? you obviously have to be funny to make people laugh, either that or make people laugh at you.

[@02SplinterCell02]

@@daviddavidson5523 Watch Carlin and you will (might) understand

[@02SplinterCell02]

@@daviddavidson5523 Delivery is the most important aspect of comedy. You can tell a dead serious story and get the crowd howling in laughter without being funny

[@astralplainer]

Mitch saw things that the rest of the world didn't notice. RIP Mitch. You were ahead of your time.

[@TCVideoNow]

He truly was one of the best to ever perform.

[@LisaMitchell-f8e]

Really?

[@satanicsmoresmusic]

More like timeless

[@billsmith7673]

I agree. I've said that often about good comedians. They see things that others don't, and more importantly, they are then able to put those observations into words and relate them in a way that allows the other to see.

[@fatmansixty3775]

Imagine if mitch was on twitter. " Why is everyone following me?" " please go around."

[@jacksongentry4649]

😅8

[@mbc445]

😂😂😂

[@imsa15463]

you stole this line from another dude in the comment section of another Mitch Hedburg Video. @michaelr7254 4 years ago If Mitch was on Twitter: "Why are so many people following me? Please go around."

[@fatmansixty3775]

@imsa15463 bro it's tge internet. Everyone steals everything. EVERYONE I STOLE A COMMENT HELLO EVERYONE. see no one cares. Ooo and I stole that from jurassic park..

[@ChrisSmedleyOnTheInternet]

Jesus. This guy probably thinks this was a funny joke

[@RMR1]

Hedberg was one of those comics who not only wrote great jokes, but also made them 10 times funnier with his delivery. That halting cadence and over-emphasizing certain words ("brought to you by your friends at Yo-PLAIT!" lol!) turned a lot of those 3-second laughs into 10-second bust-ups with applause. One of a kind -- and definitely one of the greats.

[@54raynor]

It’s impossible to tell a Mitch Hedberg joke without also doing a Mitch Hedberg impression.

[@mahlonedwards6826]

Well and accurately put. This is a 4br house. This fourth br has a stove and refrigerator. Club sandwich. Donut receipt. Rice. Potato. Pringles. KitKat. Wallpounding...Go Around! Funny joke pen afar. Dream chase...catch up. Truly one-of-a-kind !

[@mitchellharris4040]

It's called a "persona" comedian. Anyone else can deliver that material and it would completely bomb.

[@chasevandiver5419]

I was just showing him to my girlfriend, and she said "I like his jokes but I don't like the way he delivers them" and I was like "THAT IS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING CHARM OF IT"

[@-C.S.R]

One of my favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes... “I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.”

[@Puddinpouch]

It’s the suspense of the machine will actually work or steal your money with no apology. It’s freeing a captive food item to the freedom of your personal enjoyment. Vending machines are your worst enemy, or your best friend in a two second span.

[@MixerHaven1975]

Did the machine come with a mask and a gun? Where do you live where it's such a regular occurrence you might not get a snack when you pay ​@@Puddinpouch

[@machfront]

People often say his comedic genius was ended far too early. For years I assumed he passed at 2am. (I hope he’d appreciate that silly joke) 😁 We love and miss you Mitch! ❤

[@matrixphijr]

2:00? What an oddly specific time. I would’ve expected it to be 2:08 or something.

[@tysonatkins2236]

A brilliant comment! Followed by a brilliant comment! What a coincidence that you both commented on this topic together! I can't wait until the number of comments reaches 40,008! Man, I should have just said, "Yeah!"

[@Purplealien123]

I’m reading that in Mitch’s voice…hilarious 😂

[@madenabennett]

perfect epitaph for his tombstone!

[@SangreEsRaro]

Yuuuuup

[@jackflash8218]

"I find that a duck's opinion of me greatly depends on whether or not I have bread." One of my personal faves. 😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂

[@krissantana4660]

Same for girlfriends.😂😂😂

[@nelsonbergman7706]

One of my favorites was "I used to take drugs. I still do but I used to"

[@globetrekker86]

-“This is not a library.” -“OK, I will talk louder, then” 😂

[@joeskis]

I often ponder a thought that would be a perfect Mitch joke. It has to do with the job position called supervisor. Mitch would say something like: "My boss recently asked if I'd consider being promoted to the supervisor position. I thought dang that's too much pressure right off the bat. I asked him if I could just start at Okayvisor. Maybe one day I could become a prettygoodvisor. Hell maybe even achieve greatvisor one day. But super is just too much on day 1."

[@angelabohlen7886]

That's Mitch all the way.

[@joshuaa.5523]

not bad

[@TangoWolf09]

I read this with Mitch's cadence, and it definitely works

[@RedmayneDeadmayne]

Yes that is absolutely mitch

[@jenniferpazmino7139]

He was so great and he didn't know it. He is missed.

[@TheDacapo1]

So brilliant. When he died there was a huge void in comedy for decades. We miss you Mitch. You were very special.

[@madenabennett]

The comparisons Ive read are so weird…like he stole from steven Wright…or Mitch was SR on drugs….I thought oh right cuz Steven Wright never did any drugs (insert eye roll). I mean hes great…but he aint Mitch

[@907kilo]

Mitch has been one of my favorite comedians since I was a kid

[@garrghhh]

To rip-off Tom Lehrer (who was [& still is] also hilarious*): Mitch Hedberg, _who has been my particular idol since childbirth..._ 😄 * Perhaps even more fundamentally 'ahead of his time', though rather different style. Another one of the greats, in the same pantheon as Mr Hedberg.

[@beakedmonk3981]

It's not just the jokes, it's the perfect delivery only Mitch could pull off 😂

[@snotwurfit]

Damn fine comedian. Genuinely funny observations delivered in a genuinely funny style. And no need for obscenities or trashing anyone. That's rare these days. RIP

[@figmentofyourimagination5359]

I came across a comment years ago that said something to the effect of "Mitch Hedberg is the most confidently nervous comedian in all of history". And it stuck with me. That's exactly who Hedburg was. Props random commentor.

[@topophil]

The way he often follows a joke with "alright, alright" makes me laugh even harder

[@jqths1974]

Trying to imagine what the comedy world would be like if Mitch were still with us

[@tonywatson5215]

Where ever you are Mitch! Thank you brother!

[@NitroModelsAndComics]

What an absolute genius Mitch was. He still is, but also was.

[@danielwilkins7509]

He made comedy look so easy. But he got laughs, and I still get crickets.

[@tashawaters89]

RIP "My belt keeps my pants up, and my pants keep my belt up. Who is the real hero?" ❤

[@Baby0din]

I remember way back when being so sad about him being gone. Now seeing people still enjoy him after all these years makes me really happy.

[@thebrinx9632]

Thanks to the magic of KZbin.....no one is ever "gone".

[@kvltntr00]

"that guy eats cake" has a completely different meaning now lol

[@frankrappa4765]

The three way light bulb joke is one of my favorites. Damn it light bulb. That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do. 😂

[@CharlaLeibrock]

All I can say is he probably had no idea how great he was or how loved he was.... Honestly I don't know anyone who did not think this man was a comedic genius. We truly miss you bro....❤

[@UncouthBuzzard]

Got to see him live in seattle a few months before he died. Utterly blessed feeling. RIP

[@54raynor]

I’m fully convinced that if Mitch Hedberg had made it to the Twitter era, he’d be considered the greatest comedian in history.

[@MrChopsticktech]

I doubt he could have beaten George Carlin.

[@mastod0n1]

He would have killed it on Twitter. His jokes are perfect for that medium.

[@Official_DumbTube_Commenter]

Twitter?

[@HallowedMiscreant]

His jokes are good. But his delivery makes them what they are. Wouldn’t be as good just written down

[@zp944]

​@@HallowedMiscreantthis. Dry humor doesn't appeal to most Americans. It's his delivery and the audience reaction that makes the joke stick.

[@coalhair99]

This is a prime example of a mind that works differently than most others, in so many ways.

[@robatalan]

One of my favourites was, "i tried to walk into 'target" but i missed ! 😂

[@Cluv22]

I had a parrot and it could talk but I didn't say "I'm hungry" so it died. 😅😅😅😅

[@BobAtkinson-e2o]

Hysterical!

[@stacynortham376]

I never heard that one. That's a good one

[@elindauer]

Good news, the top two corners of the map are just one place. 😂

[@bernhardwall6876]

But only if it's a map of the whole world.

[@daviddavidson5523]

@@bernhardwall6876 you mean only if it's a globe.

[@johnsinclair4448]

No no, Thank YOU Mitch for all the laughs and the gift for seeing things in a different light. RIP

[@selfarmy3361]

Bigfoot is blurry. It's not the photographer's fault. 😂

[@crimson2209]

“that shit is wrapped twice, you open it once… and it still ain’t open”

[@kennethmcdonough835]

So many great bits. "how can anyone eat at a time like this...people are missing...Busch search party of 3" one of my favorites. " but first I have to go to the two corners of the world so I can pin it up" Genius

[@joshuairons4786]

"You cant eat until you find the dufranes".😂

[@michaelmccoy1794]

*Dufresne

[@8569jimboslice]

Bush!! search party of 4!!

[@bbirtz]

I got sad when he said "Mitch don't give up"

[@angelabohlen7886]

I had the same feeling. My mind immediately went there.

[@richdouglas2311]

I miss Mitch so much.

[@christianvictorio7256]

Someone asked me if I wanted a frozen banana I said no. But I do want a regular banana later so, yes 🤣

[@rickmaher3927]

Oh my God! The manufactured home repo guy comes to your door. Knock Knock, "can you look that way...for half an hour". So, so funny. I'm still laughin.

[@MikeGervasi]

I discovered him too late. Brilliant. No one does his brand of comedy.

[@sheldonm]

This brand of comedy is (sacred) off limits

[@katelynssugarpuddin1587]

Demetri Martin is like that

[@codyeble0713]

There's actually a bunch of of comedians that copied his style and delivery but none of them made it big because they forgot one key element... They werent Mitch

[@mikecorbett9687]

Steven wright is similar

[@robedmunds7163]

I am watching him for the first time, sad this tremendously funny and charming man is gone.

[@georgesmith3325]

One of the funniest people ever

[@stevenmccullough6299]

My personal favorite comic of all time

[@pattikalich]

I'm so sad he's gone I love his personality he has such a unique style in his stand up . He was so cute and just seemed like such a great guy to hang out with RIP Mitch

[@SoCal780]

He was great, no question.

[@Dadsezso]

Mitch is awesome. I love a comedian that can take everyday situations or things you say, and say them back to you in a way that makes you laugh.

[@masterrserch3971]

a) to be able to do as many shows, and be as popular as Mitch was, and do basically nothing but random, couple of line non sequiturs as your jokes---- and many times be a headliner aka going up there with 45 min or MORE---- and to be able to remember all that, is like some underrated form of actual/literal genius b) to piggyback that, I am pretty sure that I never heard him repeat a joke in all of the many, many sets that i've seen/heard him perform.... So what does that mean? Well, like i said, he's had to have had like a 190 iQ and shti because he's cramming how many of these short, BRILLIANT jokes into up to an hour or so sets, and NOT just going across the country repeating half his sets??? Smh....my GOD....man was just a one of a kind, genius, absolute gem a a human being and comic

[@Justin-fq7vj]

The more you use a cigarette lighter, the lighter it gets. " Mitch " 🤓

[@jaredrobinson7071]

RIP sir, you brought joy to a lot of us.

[@edwardreis7122]

Loved this guy....RIP Mitch.

[@daviddorger6916]

Greatest delivery of any standup comic ever.

[@richdorak1547]

Never will be forgotten !!!!!

[@triple_sics]

Sorry for the convenience is something i still say to myself when using escalators

[@asdf9890]

Man, he was so great. Awesome delivery, no cussing or crude subject matter, true comedic genius 😢. I can’t use an emergency brake on a car without thinking of that joke 😂. Also the Pepperidge farm bread..and escalators .

[@travisanderson8305]

RIP brother. A true original and classic

[@EugenioFranklin]

Mitch was the "King of One Liners".

[@stilllearning6656]

Ever heard of Rodney Dangerfield.

[@ctrguy]

If ever there lived a funnier clean comedian I'd sure love to hear him! Gone much too soon- we love u brother Mitch! 💔🪦

[@matthewmatt5285]

Seriously,.When you see guys like Steve Martin and Martin Short have long careers and they never make you laugh it's baffling~

[@MrKnowItMost]

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard 😂😂😂. He’s a fucking genius!

[@michaelingwald6338]

His arrow joke still makes me cry laugh to this day god i miss this guy!!

[@ericfontaine2145]

Lost him too soon. Thanks for putting this together 😅

[@headless0ptomist198]

I know all of his jokes by heart and they still make me laugh every single time and I don't think I can say that about any other comedian, his writing, delivery and timing was perfect.

[@madenabennett]

such great delivery! I laugh even when the joke isn’t that great because the delivery is so impeccable.

[@arts2725]

Was well on his way to becoming one of the comedy GOATS. RIP Mitch.

[@codyeble0713]

I still put him in my top 5 to listen to

[@just-dl]

Some say he made it. Me, for instance.

[@nogoogleplus]

Truly one of the greats!

[@bruisersdilemma354]

I've only recently discovered Mitch and honestly, he may be one of the greatest of all time...

[@javier77th]

Dude was pure genius. Sorely missed.

[@tgypoi]

I like Mitch Hedberg, he's great when your in the mood for some jokes and want two thousand of something.

[@Nivlak717]

Hate when I remember somebody look em up and realize they passed 😢

[@davidhunt1350]

I meant to go into Target the other day, but I missed.

[@johncosmic]

This man was the legendary inventor of Dad jokes 😂

[@terryadams3489]

not only is he funny, but also warm and friendly

[@haljones246]

RIP Mitch!! I hope you found the pineapple lifesaver in the sky😅!

[@TCVideoNow]

I hope so too!

[@Gina-xc5pe]

Thank you Marc for introducing me to Mitch...I bust a gut every time! RIP Mitch...

[@ramstineV]

"Dogs are forever in a pushup position" Idk what that shit was so funny to me😂😂😂

[@ankhor9252]

Thank heaven for Mitch. The purest fountain of comedy ever.

[@FreeMarketFan49_]

Love Mitch! Favorite one from him. (Paraphrasing, obviously): “The owner of the club told me if you guys don’t laugh that I’ve have to pick up the trash after the show. So please laugh. Or don’t drop anything.”

[@JDsalvo123]

I stumbled upon this guy , never heard of him before but he is hilarious 😂

[@nibnob9]

finally A mitch compilation

[@kendallpeters6451]

Mitch walked to a drumbeat all his own. RIP

[@thepsychedelicantiquarian1273]

Who walks to a drum beat?

[@adamross4774]

We still miss ya bro 🫂

[@Mr25thfret]

My my, he could be so funny. God bless you Mitch. RIP

[@CraigAnderson-h2h]

No dirty jokes. He was a true comedy genius.

[@markturk7333]

Best comedian ever.

[@robertedwards7900]

Another of the tragic losses of talent in the entertainment industry. Mostly clean and he had a unique perspective on the world. RIP Mitch

[@Shinedig]

The one the only

[@communicationbreakdown256]

The top 2 corners of the map 😂

[@CharleneSasso-r8k]

Met him at Rascals in NJ, great guy.talked an hour after his set. Sad to lose him 💔

[@juanrangel7007]

RIP fo sho!! Dude was funny and with a different style. 😂😂😂😂

[@kirksink6002]

Been watching him for years. So sad to lose him.

[@Justin-fq7vj]

Got to love the ask your dreams were there going and hook up with them later. 😄👍

[@watchyourselfishness]

I love a good one liner, and several several liners.

[@crlguitar1]

All very clean jokes....and all hilarious too....I'm sad that he left us....

[@ZA-co9vj]

One of the best! 💙

[@feralbluee]

god, I love Mitch. Yeah, he’s funny as all heck, (and with that wonderful accent) - but he’s also such a sweetie. And, yes, I’m using the present tense, cause he’s still here. 🥀🌹🌱

[@bennagem2965]

Best compilation ever!

[@EHKOS]

I don't think I've ever heard the emergency brake joke before, that was great!

[@GRIMMDOOM1]

He's so underrated