Mitch Hedberg - Best One Liners

[@garagejams]

I used to love Mitch Hedburn. I still do, but I used to too.

[@James-k1s8g]

Ahh you get it. lol

[@brucelawson642]

Hahaha...good one😂

[@JustChickenShorts]

I read that in his voice

[@gregorykrug8034]

Mitch Hedberg jokes are like rice... oh, nevermind.

[@mahlonedwards6826]

Best ! But Hedberg.

[@enolastraight577]

"Here's a picture of me when I was younger. ALL PICTURES of you are you when you were younger!"

[@johnnoegel7394]

He told a joke that didn't get much on laughs and then said "I will fix that joke. I'll take out all the words and put in new words"😂..... priceless!😂😂😂😂

[@codyeble0713]

We'll call this "hit or miss"

[@ross798]

Just reading that cracked me up.

[@Purplealien123]

I’m reading it in his voice…hilarious! 😆

[@felipebaez3512]

lol yea that was in Strategic Grill Locations. "dont f up the bass tonight, Chuck, cuz we're on CD here...ha'righhht"

[@rocklee33221]

@@felipebaez3512I can hear the wood bass now

[@nickvitale6024]

Mitch was hysterical. His perspectives on normal everyday circumstances was brilliant. RIP

[@Diesel-ship23]

What happened to Mitch?

[@jeremyjohnson9585]

​@@Diesel-ship23he passed away from an overdose. If you like his humor, then check out Flula Borg and his vlogs. He has a brilliant outside the box take similar to Mitch.

[@74jojo]

​@@Diesel-ship23accidental drug overdose

[@azrielstone4515]

@@Diesel-ship23He died in 2005 due to an accidental overdose.

[@polepino]

@@azrielstone4515 he was also a habitual user, so by the time he died in 05, his internals weren't exactly fresh. RIP for sure

[@mentlinc]

His delivery style is so outrageous. Even when the joke is mid the silliness of the premise makes you snicker

[@02SplinterCell02]

Trait of a great comedian “you don’t have to be funny to make people laugh”

[@daviddavidson5523]

@@02SplinterCell02 wtf does that even mean? you obviously have to be funny to make people laugh, either that or make people laugh at you.

[@02SplinterCell02]

@@daviddavidson5523 Watch Carlin and you will (might) understand

[@02SplinterCell02]

@@daviddavidson5523 Delivery is the most important aspect of comedy. You can tell a dead serious story and get the crowd howling in laughter without being funny

[@astralplainer]

Mitch saw things that the rest of the world didn't notice. RIP Mitch. You were ahead of your time.

[@TCVideoNow]

He truly was one of the best to ever perform.

[@LisaMitchell-f8e]

Really?

[@satanicsmoresmusic]

More like timeless

[@billsmith7673]

I agree. I've said that often about good comedians. They see things that others don't, and more importantly, they are then able to put those observations into words and relate them in a way that allows the other to see.

[@joeskis]

I often ponder a thought that would be a perfect Mitch joke. It has to do with the job position called supervisor. Mitch would say something like: "My boss recently asked if I'd consider being promoted to the supervisor position. I thought dang that's too much pressure right off the bat. I asked him if I could just start at Okayvisor. Maybe one day I could become a prettygoodvisor. Hell maybe even achieve greatvisor one day. But super is just too much on day 1."

[@angelabohlen7886]

That's Mitch all the way.

[@joshuaa.5523]

not bad

[@nelsonbergman7706]

One of my favorites was "I used to take drugs. I still do but I used to"

[@-C.S.R]

One of my favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes... “I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.”

[@Puddinpouch]

It’s the suspense of the machine will actually work or steal your money with no apology. It’s freeing a captive food item to the freedom of your personal enjoyment. Vending machines are your worst enemy, or your best friend in a two second span.

[@jenniferpazmino7139]

He was so great and he didn't know it. He is missed.

[@machfront]

People often say his comedic genius was ended far too early. For years I assumed he passed at 2am. (I hope he’d appreciate that silly joke) 😁 We love and miss you Mitch! ❤

[@matrixphijr]

2:00? What an oddly specific time. I would’ve expected it to be 2:08 or something.

[@tysonatkins2236]

A brilliant comment! Followed by a brilliant comment! What a coincidence that you both commented on this topic together! I can't wait until the number of comments reaches 40,008! Man, I should have just said, "Yeah!"

[@Purplealien123]

I’m reading that in Mitch’s voice…hilarious 😂

[@madenabennett]

perfect epitaph for his tombstone!

[@Dwayne4007]

Yuuuuup

[@RMR1]

Hedberg was one of those comics who not only wrote great jokes, but also made them 10 times funnier with his delivery. That halting cadence and over-emphasizing certain words ("brought to you by your friends at Yo-PLAIT!" lol!) turned a lot of those 3-second laughs into 10-second bust-ups with applause. One of a kind -- and definitely one of the greats.

[@54raynor]

It’s impossible to tell a Mitch Hedberg joke without also doing a Mitch Hedberg impression.

[@mahlonedwards6826]

Well and accurately put. This is a 4br house. This fourth br has a stove and refrigerator. Club sandwich. Donut receipt. Rice. Potato. Pringles. KitKat. Wallpounding...Go Around! Funny joke pen afar. Dream chase...catch up. Truly one-of-a-kind !

[@mitchellharris4040]

It's called a "persona" comedian. Anyone else can deliver that material and it would completely bomb.

[@Baby0din]

I remember way back when being so sad about him being gone. Now seeing people still enjoy him after all these years makes me really happy.

[@thebrinx9632]

Thanks to the magic of KZbin.....no one is ever "gone".

[@globetrekker86]

-“This is not a library.” -“OK, I will talk louder, then” 😂

[@snotwurfit]

Damn fine comedian. Genuinely funny observations delivered in a genuinely funny style. And no need for obscenities or trashing anyone. That's rare these days. RIP

[@TheDacapo1]

So brilliant. When he died there was a huge void in comedy for decades. We miss you Mitch. You were very special.

[@madenabennett]

The comparisons Ive read are so weird…like he stole from steven Wright…or Mitch was SR on drugs….I thought oh right cuz Steven Wright never did any drugs (insert eye roll). I mean hes great…but he aint Mitch

[@907kilo]

Mitch has been one of my favorite comedians since I was a kid

[@garrghhh]

To rip-off Tom Lehrer (who was [& still is] also hilarious*): Mitch Hedberg, _who has been my particular idol since childbirth..._ 😄 * Perhaps even more fundamentally 'ahead of his time', though rather different style. Another one of the greats, in the same pantheon as Mr Hedberg.

[@kvltntr00]

"that guy eats cake" has a completely different meaning now lol

[@UncouthBuzzard]

Got to see him live in seattle a few months before he died. Utterly blessed feeling. RIP

[@jackflash8218]

"I find that a duck's opinion of me greatly depends on whether or not I have bread." One of my personal faves. 😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂

[@krissantana4660]

Same for girlfriends.😂😂😂

[@CharlaLeibrock]

All I can say is he probably had no idea how great he was or how loved he was.... Honestly I don't know anyone who did not think this man was a comedic genius. We truly miss you bro....❤

[@figmentofyourimagination5359]

I came across a comment years ago that said something to the effect of "Mitch Hedberg is the most confidently nervous comedian in all of history". And it stuck with me. That's exactly who Hedburg was. Props random commentor.

[@fatmansixty3775]

Imagine if mitch was on twitter. " Why is everyone following me?" " please go around."

[@jacksongentry4649]

😅8

[@mbc445]

😂😂😂

[@imsa15463]

you stole this line from another dude in the comment section of another Mitch Hedburg Video. @michaelr7254 4 years ago If Mitch was on Twitter: "Why are so many people following me? Please go around."

[@fatmansixty3775]

@imsa15463 bro it's tge internet. Everyone steals everything. EVERYONE I STOLE A COMMENT HELLO EVERYONE. see no one cares. Ooo and I stole that from jurassic park..

[@ChrisSmedleyOnTheInternet]

Jesus. This guy probably thinks this was a funny joke

[@Cluv22]

I had a parrot and it could talk but I didn't say "I'm hungry" so it died. 😅😅😅😅

[@BobAtkinson-e2o]

Hysterical!

[@stacynortham376]

I never heard that one. That's a good one

[@coalhair99]

This is a prime example of a mind that works differently than most others, in so many ways.

[@NitroModelsAndComics]

What an absolute genius Mitch was. He still is, but also was.

[@danielwilkins7509]

He made comedy look so easy. But he got laughs, and I still get crickets.

[@robatalan]

One of my favourites was, "i tried to walk into 'target" but i missed ! 😂

[@pattikalich]

I'm so sad he's gone I love his personality he has such a unique style in his stand up . He was so cute and just seemed like such a great guy to hang out with RIP Mitch

[@frankrappa4765]

The three way light bulb joke is one of my favorites. Damn it light bulb. That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do. 😂

[@johnsinclair4448]

No no, Thank YOU Mitch for all the laughs and the gift for seeing things in a different light. RIP

[@crimson2209]

“that shit is wrapped twice, you open it once… and it still ain’t open”

[@ctrguy]

If ever there lived a funnier clean comedian I'd sure love to hear him! Gone much too soon- we love u brother Mitch! 💔🪦

[@elindauer]

Good news, the top two corners of the map are just one place. 😂

[@bernhardwall6876]

But only if it's a map of the whole world.

[@daviddavidson5523]

@@bernhardwall6876 you mean only if it's a globe.

[@triple_sics]

Sorry for the convenience is something i still say to myself when using escalators

[@christianvictorio7256]

Someone asked me if I wanted a frozen banana I said no. But I do want a regular banana later so, yes 🤣

[@richdouglas2311]

I miss Mitch so much.

[@joshuairons4786]

"You cant eat until you find the dufranes".😂

[@michaelmccoy1794]

*Dufresne

[@MikeGervasi]

I discovered him too late. Brilliant. No one does his brand of comedy.

[@sheldonm]

This brand of comedy is (sacred) off limits

[@katelynssugarpuddin1587]

Demetri Martin is like that

[@codyeble0713]

There's actually a bunch of of comedians that copied his style and delivery but none of them made it big because they forgot one key element... They werent Mitch

[@mikecorbett9687]

Steven wright is similar

[@Justin-fq7vj]

The more you use a cigarette lighter, the lighter it gets. " Mitch " 🤓

[@asdf9890]

Man, he was so great. Awesome delivery, no cussing or crude subject matter, true comedic genius 😢. I can’t use an emergency brake on a car without thinking of that joke 😂. Also the Pepperidge farm bread..and escalators .

[@edwardreis7122]

Loved this guy....RIP Mitch.

[@michaelingwald6338]

His arrow joke still makes me cry laugh to this day god i miss this guy!!

[@stevenmccullough6299]

My personal favorite comic of all time

[@jqths1974]

Trying to imagine what the comedy world would be like if Mitch were still with us

[@bbirtz]

I got sad when he said "Mitch don't give up"

[@angelabohlen7886]

I had the same feeling. My mind immediately went there.

[@tgypoi]

I like Mitch Hedberg, he's great when your in the mood for some jokes and want two thousand of something.

[@Nivlak717]

Hate when I remember somebody look em up and realize they passed 😢

[@Dadsezso]

Mitch is awesome. I love a comedian that can take everyday situations or things you say, and say them back to you in a way that makes you laugh.

[@jaredrobinson7071]

RIP sir, you brought joy to a lot of us.

[@travisanderson8305]

RIP brother. A true original and classic

[@georgesmith3325]

One of the funniest people ever

[@daviddorger6916]

Greatest delivery of any standup comic ever.

[@haljones246]

RIP Mitch!! I hope you found the pineapple lifesaver in the sky😅!

[@TCVideoNow]

I hope so too!

[@arts2725]

Was well on his way to becoming one of the comedy GOATS. RIP Mitch.

[@codyeble0713]

I still put him in my top 5 to listen to

[@just-dl]

Some say he made it. Me, for instance.

[@MrKnowItMost]

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard 😂😂😂. He’s a fucking genius!

[@kennethmcdonough835]

So many great bits. "how can anyone eat at a time like this...people are missing...Busch search party of 3" one of my favorites. " but first I have to go to the two corners of the world so I can pin it up" Genius

[@kendallpeters6451]

Mitch walked to a drumbeat all his own. RIP

[@thepsychedelicantiquarian1273]

Who walks to a drum beat?

[@madenabennett]

such great delivery! I laugh even when the joke isn’t that great because the delivery is so impeccable.

[@54raynor]

I’m fully convinced that if Mitch Hedberg had made it to the Twitter era, he’d be considered the greatest comedian in history.

[@MrChopsticktech]

I doubt he could have beaten George Carlin.

[@mastod0n1]

He would have killed it on Twitter. His jokes are perfect for that medium.

[@Official_DumbTube_Commenter]

Twitter?

[@jamessouth3808]

His jokes are good. But his delivery makes them what they are. Wouldn’t be as good just written down

[@zp944]

​@@jamessouth3808this. Dry humor doesn't appeal to most Americans. It's his delivery and the audience reaction that makes the joke stick.

[@ramstine3495]

"Dogs are forever in a pushup position" Idk what that shit was so funny to me😂😂😂

[@robertedwards7900]

Another of the tragic losses of talent in the entertainment industry. Mostly clean and he had a unique perspective on the world. RIP Mitch

[@nogoogleplus]

Truly one of the greats!

[@terryadams3489]

not only is he funny, but also warm and friendly

[@bruisersdilemma354]

I've only recently discovered Mitch and honestly, he may be one of the greatest of all time...

[@davidhunt1350]

I meant to go into Target the other day, but I missed.

[@headless0ptomist198]

I know all of his jokes by heart and they still make me laugh every single time and I don't think I can say that about any other comedian, his writing, delivery and timing was perfect.

[@JDsalvo123]

I stumbled upon this guy , never heard of him before but he is hilarious 😂

[@kirksink6002]

Been watching him for years. So sad to lose him.

[@CraigAnderson-h2h]

No dirty jokes. He was a true comedy genius.

[@richdorak1547]

Never will be forgotten !!!!!

[@Douglas-zd7mz]

Mitch "HAD" HEADburn.....! HeyoooooooOOOOOO..!

[@RobotJeeg]

Rice! When you are hungry and you want 2000 of something.

[@FreeMarketFan49_]

Love Mitch! Favorite one from him. (Paraphrasing, obviously): “The owner of the club told me if you guys don’t laugh that I’ve have to pick up the trash after the show. So please laugh. Or don’t drop anything.”

[@Justin-fq7vj]

Got to love the ask your dreams were there going and hook up with them later. 😄👍

[@javier77th]

Dude was pure genius. Sorely missed.

[@ericfontaine2145]

Lost him too soon. Thanks for putting this together 😅

[@EugenioFranklin]

Mitch was the "King of One Liners".

[@stilllearning6656]

Ever heard of Rodney Dangerfield.

[@knowwankeno1de1witdelongna85]

I make sure to buy close to reach plants now, thanks 🙏

[@Jokerman518]

He has a certain type of humor that .asked me feel like him and Norm McDonald woulda been the bestest of friends

[@robertgarvansnyder4665]

That first line makes me think of one of my fave Tom Waits quips- “all weather is strange…. When you’re strange”

[@pokerphil1st]

Genius. Sadly missed. Don't do drugs kids.

[@curtekstrom9531]

Mitch had tremendous Stage Fright, and to combat this, he took his Glasses off. Or always looked Down.

[@bennagem2965]

Best compilation ever!

[@Gina-xc5pe]

Thank you Marc for introducing me to Mitch...I bust a gut every time! RIP Mitch...

[@johncosmic]

This man was the legendary inventor of Dad jokes 😂

[@zp944]

Mitch was the epitomy of American style dry humor.

[@bernhardwall6876]

The escalator line is the one I remember most.

[@communicationbreakdown256]

The top 2 corners of the map 😂

[@EHKOS]

I don't think I've ever heard the emergency brake joke before, that was great!

[@ankhor9252]

Thank heaven for Mitch. The purest fountain of comedy ever.

[@adamross4774]

We still miss ya bro 🫂

[@nibnob9]

finally A mitch compilation

[@phillipdymanski7436]

R.I.P. to all good comedians. I have yet to provide a receipt to the I.R.S. for the purchase of a donut. L O.L. : ).

[@TheDacapo1]

Genius gone too soon. Pure genius. Original. SNL hasn’t been funny for over a decade. We need Mitch now more than ever. RIP genius Mitch.

[@markturk7333]

Best comedian ever.

[@feralbluee]

god, I love Mitch. Yeah, he’s funny as all heck, (and with that wonderful accent) - but he’s also such a sweetie. And, yes, I’m using the present tense, cause he’s still here. 🥀🌹🌱

[@JonnyCooper]

Love the rice gag

[@undango]

That was the one that got me too

[@noidreculse8906]

I like when he snickers at his own joke after the audiences reaction 🎇

[@craighoekema8609]

This bedroom has a oven in it. And this bedroom is aka a hallway.

[@user-os3bm5vd7m]

Someone asked if i wanted a frozen banana now, and i thought no, but I'll want a regular one later, so ....yes!