Dumbest Battle in History: Battle of Karánsebes

My second channel M. Laser Random- / @mlaserrandom
where I just upload random videos from game-plays to vlogs and more.
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My Twitter- / mnlaser
My video scripts with sources are available for free on Patreon.
More Information
0:10 100k Was the force of the entire military in this campaign however this was most likely divided up between multiple fronts, key objectives and strategical placements so it wasn't the entire 100k force in Caransebes.
0:41 I say Roma or Wallachians with the bottom right corner showing that sources differ. I am not saying these two groups are the same no they aren't. I am just saying we don't know who exactly sold the alcohol as sources differ.
1:25 Turci actually means Turks not Ottomans however it's what most of the people in the Austrian Empire called the Ottomans.
3:20 The Ottoman source specifies that they used the surprising confusion within the Austrian forces north of the Mehadia Pass (Basically Where Karansebes is Located) in September. However don't say what caused this so it could have well been the Battle of Karansebes.
Most criticism about the battle or the blunder not happening argue that there is no mention of it in the Viennese war archives. However considering the scope of the blunder it is completely not unheard of (specially during that time) for the military staff and even the emperor him self to try everything in their power to sweep it all under a rug or at least down play the scope of the blunder.
Videos used in the making of this video.
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• Gun Smoke ( Green Scre...
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• 3-Hour Classical Study...
#History #AustriaHungary #MilitaryHistory

[@MLaserHistory]

I made another video deep diving into the contemporary sources from the battle to try to figure out what exactly happened that day- kzbin.info/www/bejne/romTe2Rjh7Scesk p.s. I am aware that Wallachians and Roma people are different peoples so stop commenting about it! If you noticed in the bottom right corner when I say the phrase it says "sources differ" because they do. Either Wallachians or Roma people sold the alcohol we don't know who exactly. (well than again this story is made up anyways so it doesn't matter who sold the alcohol, just watch the second video if you want to find out!)

[@zephyrsaurus8822]

Woah

[@edmundthespiffing2920]

Well that's a surprise

[@AwesomeTheAsim]

Thank you

[@TheLolstyle]

How to pronounce Zeitung: ts"eye"toong

[@erikbudrow1255]

Meh, I like your version. 😉

[@dragonofepics7324]

I want this to be made into a movie that starts off looking like a serious war movie but then just devolves further into something like slapstick comedy.

[@charlesxii7018]

Id love that bro.

[@muslimcyberarmybangladeshm2884]

🤣🤣🤣 me too

[@TALK-is1qd]

kind of a meme war movie...i love that

[@themoocow7718]

That’s sounds amazing.

[@theonlygoodlookinghabsburg2081]

It would make for a great satire novel (or play).

[@redpandasarecute5131]

"The entire army, now fighting a retreating battle against themselves" has to be the greatest quote about a military action ever xD

[@TopKekus-Maximus]

Amen to that xD

[@wiegehts1206]

@Hungarian Nationalist big *OOF*

[@notallthatbad]

XD Yes, I almost missed that. haha thanks.

[@sevithan9446]

Nothing worse than fighting a retreating battle against yourself. You keep fighting and you keep retreating, but the relentless enemy is still upon no matter what!

[@zeroyuki92]

Well they said the greatest enemy is yourself. So there's no shame to have some setbacks in fighting the greatest enemy out there.

[@fite-4-ever876]

Officer:"Ma'am your son has died in battle" Woman:"Well at least he died defending Austria" Officer"...well"

[@dukaktemuryaylg9659]

jjahfoıcşshlfsapıfhğ

[@GuderII]

😂😂😂.

[@korbilicious]

Officer: "Well, yes but actually no."

[@peffiSC2source]

For real. That's the first thing I though of. Good chance a few family bloodlines were snuffed out in this clusterfuck.

[@ahumanfromtexas]

He died defending his beer from other Austrians

[@4CelciusDegree]

"The biggest battle one can fight is the battle against yourself " Austria: And I took that seriously

[@garrytherat4793]

So this is what that 1% attrition represents in Europa Universalis IV

[@robertketcham3672]

Dan Dan when you instantly loose against the ottoman army in eu4 (basically instant retreat)

[@joshfish2]

Technically this would be -1% attrition actually, because the stress on the logistics, supplies, positions etc. Was done by themselves into themselves, with 0 indirect or direct enemy involvement 😂

[@miroslavyordanov9611]

Yeah but the 1% attrition is only applied when staying on a hostile province while in this case they were in allied territory .

[@apalahartisebuahnama7684]

@@martinhorvath4117 even irl that's make sense, how can you properly feeds 100k soldiers with half of supplies available for example due to terrain or others? Ofc they're dying.

[@sdsd2e2321]

​@@martinhorvath4117 And a siege in hostile territory is +1% attrition, among many other modifiers.

[@sovietapples6122]

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting” - Sun Tzu

[@napoleoncomplex2712]

What if your enemy is yourself?

[@laimolaphonglo4544]

The funny thing about Internet is we can make anyone say anything _adolf Hitler

[@napoleoncomplex2712]

@@laimolaphonglo4544 Peanut butter wallow cake. _Guy on the Internet Just Now.

[@apalahartisebuahnama7684]

@@laimolaphonglo4544 Sun Tzu did said that in his book, tho existence of Sun Tzu himself is questionable.

[@oerlikon20mm29]

@@apalahartisebuahnama7684 does that mean his book is in question? Does that mean his inspirational quotes are no inspirational?

[@tothzoltanhenrik1681]

Biggest barfight in history

[@foxtrothermite6499]

But in the wilderness

[@Alushta-xs1jp]

fckn lol m8

[@theemirofjaffa2266]

It made an Irish bar fight look like a picnic

[@rothbendeguz5416]

Nem hülyeség

[@Arphenonn]

xD

[@Thoregor]

Fun fact: the town of Caransebeș still exists in Romania and it is very well known as a "meme" town full of idiotic fun things such as a prison being on a street called "Freedom", a bakery on a street named "Famine", a building crane stuck in the middle of a.. building and many more which i dont remember at the moment. Im not sure why but it feels like there is something in the water there or something like that which leads to such things.

[@tibuflavius]

You are confuzing with the city called Caracal, it the 8th wonder of stupidity

[@claudius3359]

So,comedy city? Romanian Ohio?

[@Thoregor]

@@claudius3359 pretty much yeah

[@bogdanilie3747]

That's not Caransebes, that's Caracal

[@Thoregor]

@@bogdanilie3747 right, my mistake sorry about that

[@SamuelTrademarked]

Australia: I lost a war against emus Austria: *_I lost a battle against myself_*

[@mafia_boss_neto]

Confederate States of America: *Looks to the USA* So... Vietnam: *Looks to the now destroyed South Vietnam* Lol... North Korea and South Korea: Welcome to the club, Austria! China: *Looks at Taiwan.*

[@gutsjoestar7450]

@@mafia_boss_neto are you dumb. The case of USA Vietnam and korea are diffthey fought as separated states. While Austria lost a battle against itself. USA fought against CSA . United states of America vs Confederate states of America communist North Vietnam vs south Vietnam North Korea vs south korea If they fought against themselves it would be USA against USA etc

[@mafia_boss_neto]

@@gutsjoestar7450 "Are you dumb?" Said some random teacher over a joke reply. Thomas never heard such stupidy.

[@svefngengillv3522]

Americans and Canadians're true followers of Austria (looks at Operation Cottage)

[@theimpalervlad8920]

🤣🤣

[@enimativd9106]

Austrians: yo Ottoman, wanna peace already? Ottoman: Peace? we didn't fight yet! Austrians: we didn't ?!?

[@muhammaddhafa6986]

LOL

[@Nilvolentibusje]

Austrians: heavy sweating.

[@_semih_]

@@d.watamate8231 lol, they won

[@raz6446]

@@d.watamate8231 lol blindly tell a fake facts

[@MarvinCZ]

Militarily the Ottomans lost. They avoided major losses in the following peace treaty thanks to Prussia which threatened to join on their side.

[@arandombard1197]

Little known fact, several Ottomans also died in this fight. They died from laughing too hard when they arrived later.

[@reiki546]

😂😂😂lol

[@abunaufal85]

😄😄😄🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thofthe]

Nice 🤣

[@mikshalminatulus2352]

My facial emotions be like 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dragonborn3283]

🤣🤣

[@seanplays16]

Whoever yelled "Turcii!" did some fatal trolling

[@rattanakun6835]

💀

[@barbadoskado2769]

Local romanians trolling invading austrians

[@cupboi1337]

@@barbadoskado2769 oh you know, some mild trollage

[@TheManFromWaco]

Napoleon: I defeated the Austrians despite the long odds! Turkey: Amateur. I beat the Austrians without even trying!

[@nbewarwe]

"I beat the Austrians and I didn't even know until next week!"

[@julianius484]

@@-Eisenfaust- Before that he got defeated by the Austrians at the battle of Aspern-Essling

[@gontrandjojo9747]

@@julianius484 Yes, but not in 1805.

[@ibnu9969]

@@chrismath149 If you consider jokes like this are offensive, I suggest you to stay away from the internet if I may

[@rangeraider]

bruh literally austrians beat up the turks

[@mybutthasteeth1347]

I'd love to be the Ottoman scout that came back from secretly reporting this "Good news sir, it appears that we have won this battle" "Wait, battle? What do you mean?" "Well, apparently we're fighting a war against complete and utter morons"

[@Arelak]

Hahhahaah! At which point the commander just stares at the scout and says: "Very good... Carry on with the battle."

[@njeddie4488]

@@Arelak - nah, more likely he'd say: "Damn! We're gonna be out numbered!"

[@emperorkaido8539]

@The Nova renaissance soo true

[@dariushamirhashchi3007]

My lord sheogorath,what are you doing here?

[@SamuelTrademarked]

imagine telling that to the sultan

[@ionized007]

Dear Austrian Emperor: Bruh The Ottoman General - 1788, Cansebes

[@enesarc3294]

Me: bruh

[@JastwatchingYT]

the word Bruh was actually commonly used back then

[@batuhaberal]

bruh explain everything

[@haykalhakeem4473]

Reminds me of that time an American commander sends "NUTS!" to a German officer during ww2

[@xiphactinusaudax1045]

@@JastwatchingYT yeah but I don't think it meant the same thing

[@RidhoFebrian-]

The Austrian: "we lost the battle against the ottoman" The ottoman: "what battle?"

[@ggkoomz]

Plot twist, the alcohol was sold by the ottomans themselves.

[@schurup2994]

200 IQ then

[@linguisiclion26lion70]

@@schurup2994 😂😂😂

[@silviasanchez648]

That wouldn't surprise me.

[@aleksandarvil5718]

*TRICKSTER 100*

[@kagifilms5661]

well...was selled by some Wallachians and Wallachia was part of the Ottoman Empire....so maybe YES

[@lemmingslive3843]

I’m from Romania and I can fully heartily guarantee that a mix of Hungarians and Romanians under the same Austrian management can pull this one off, exactly how it’s described.

[@Alias_Anybody]

The one thing all ethnicities had in common was a strong love for good alcohol.

[@barnamarton4947]

Becouse we share the same love for the alcohol. Țuica pálinka.. .:))

[@lemmingslive3843]

oh, no, it's much more. It's about Hungarians not wanting to share anything or living peacefully, about Austrians completely with their heads in the clouds that can't manage anything and Romanians being maximum satisfied when something is lose and spreads havoc. When these powers combine they can bring down Empires.

[@laz5590]

Yes , you are right , being a hungarian myself, now I gonna go and have a beer ☺

[@laz5590]

@@lemmingslive3843 You right also ! You can tell, I already had that beer ☺

[@fasiapulekaufusi6632]

"It'll only be one drink. What's the worse that could happen?" Next moment, fighting Turkish spies in Austrian uniform.

[@fasiapulekaufusi6632]

@@MLaserHistory HAHAHAHAHA

[@charlesjames6517]

orlando kaufusi SPY

[@fasiapulekaufusi6632]

@rafi drink with polish comrades in Turkish uniform

[@incumbentvinyl9291]

*Ottoman

[@panzerbumbum469]

@@incumbentvinyl9291 ottoman is a nation, turkish is a nationality. The op is right

[@AngloSaxonWheatFarmer]

I like to think the ottomans were actually following them intending to attack but instead are wondering how to tell their superiors thst the enemy defeated itself

[@witchflowers6942]

im picturing some cartoonish scenario with ottomans dressed up like little old gypsy women innocently selling the Austrians some schnapps that they actually laced with hallucinogens lol

[@markwarren4088]

@@witchflowers6942 That's actually pretty smart idea!

[@DopaminedotSeek3rcolonthree]

@@markwarren4088 The US Government seemed to think so back in the day. There were experiments to see if LSD could be weaponized to minimize or neutralize enemy threat, and it was even a part of a proposed image assassination on Fidel Castro! As well as... MK... Ultra... the... mind control... experiments... *Clears throat* None of it was successful... as far we know.

[@tatarcavalry2342]

​​​​​@@witchflowers6942 Orhan Gazi used a similar tactic he learned about the plot of a Rum (Anatolian Greek) Tekfur (Jarl and Reis in Turkish) is plot against him something like a red wedding thing poisons etc. than he accepted the invite for wedding of the Tekfur is daughter then dressed some of his men as women with their faces closed also some men in barrels carried by horses too camouflaged as wine and stuff they totaled around 100 men anyways Rums accepted the gifts happily and were excited about the women as you expected then after entering the castle one of them opened a barrel and Turk in it immediately cut his throat and everybody in the small convoy started to attack and got the castle without even alerting the Rums outside. Then chad Orhan did not accept his meal and start accusing the Tekfur shit gone south Tekfur tried to escape to his castle and saw that it's already captured he killed with his men and Orhan got his daughter as spouse her Muslim name is Nilüfer Hatun you can google her she is the mother of Murad I

[@domesticcat1725]

​@@tatarcavalry2342i ain't reading all that

[@bobkin611]

Moral of the story kids. SHARE YOUR BOOZE. Everytime you don't share your booze 1000 Austrians die fighting themselves

[@arthas640]

Better than a 1000 Krauts die than anyone touch my Johnny Walker

[@13akful]

The 1000 austrians would die fighting themself any way

[@cnlbenmc]

Or just don't drink in the first place.

[@yobitchcantfindme5288]

The​ Cavalry​ men​ be​ like​ :What? No!! I'll​ not​ share​ my​ drink​ i​ bought it​ it's​ mine.

[@tramachi7027]

There is no *I* in alcohol. The more the better :D Alcohol is better with lots of friends to drink. Its weird that supposedly the Poles didnt invite the Infantrymen to drink with them. From my experience Eastern Europeans have great hospitality and as long as you show them respect they will invite you to drink with them :D

[@argenisjimenez8118]

Match Begins: Ottomans join the battle. Austrians join the battle. Ottomans quit the match. Ottomans Win.

[@generalsmedleybutler340]

you mean: Austrians join the battle. Austrians quit the battle. Ottomans win.

[@stung39]

Also Ottomans confused

[@the_phen0m639]

Ottomans : ez ez ez ez ez ez ez ez ez ez

[@ernisupriani9270]

Ottoman won by Austrian disqualification Austria is ready for the game Ottoman not arrive yet Austria play with their own Fight between Austria Austria been disqualification Ottoman won the game

[@nikel-]

More like Austrians join the battle Austrians are banned from friendly fire Ottomans win

[@CogitoEdu]

Look, I'm not going to judge. We've all had that one drinking session that got a little out of hand and then you end up throwing an Austrian in a creek.

[@Artur_M.]

Party hard!

[@stephanb9920]

It is like all good french drinking sessions end with a revolution of some kind.

[@Siegbert85]

@@MLaserHistory *Roman emperor

[@avantelvsitania3359]

MacX85 *Holy Roman Emperor

[@Siegbert85]

@@avantelvsitania3359 Well, that wouldn't have been his title.

[@Alex13501]

I love how after all this shitfuck, the war chest was "lost", pure perfection.

[@grayman2749]

The battle had a clear winner.

[@Killjoy97_]

when you fail...fail in such a grand way so people will wonder how you did it

[@heyhoe168]

@@chrismath149 I'm pretty sure they knew German at some basic level. But basic was obviously not enough for military discipline. Poor knowledge of English would do the same disastrous job.

[@stephenealferez5226]

*_DEFEND THE BARRELS!!!!!!_*

[@Biggvs_dickvs]

Listen gypsy, I'll take your barrels now yes?

[@Pikkabuu]

Hey. Alcohol is precious and even more precious when you paid for them and some stinking peasant tries to take it from you.

[@christopherconard2831]

Priorities are important.

[@AceKiller9000]

Huzzar!

[@jimgritty7064]

24/7 barrel watch has been set, several defence perimeters around barrels.

[@johnmousseau6258]

"Fighting a retreating battle against itself." XD

[@connerbaird834]

That's Austria for ya.

[@Aldnon]

At least, the French only retreat against an enemy.

[@maifa9922]

John Mousseau never i'd live to hear those words in a sentence together

[@johnmousseau6258]

Gosh dang it. My youtube comment quoting the video is getting more likes than any original comment I've ever made xD

[@kazaddum2448]

Those are the hardest battles, man!

[@aaron.debattista]

The confusion the Turkish general must have felt, receiving letters from his peers congratulating him on the resounding victory with zero losses...

[@laky25cz]

I think he got even awarded a medal lol.

[@shaywright6608]

Austrians lose to themselves, Australians lose to emus, I'm not saying there's a correlation, I'm just saying it's awfully suspicious

[@AndrewVasirov]

Both of these words come from the Latin name of South. The South lost the American Civil War and the Vietnam War. I believe the farther away you are from Santa, the worse your life is. Poor penguins, all they can do is go "wank wank".

[@SaintPanzerker]

@@AndrewVasirov does that mean north korea is best korea

[@SirFaceFone]

Panzerker That's an undeniable fact.

[@AndrewVasirov]

Well, without foreign intervention and because North Korea was more industrialized back then and had more weapons and people willing to fight, they could have won. Then the USA intervened, bombed the hell out of Korea, resulting in over 3 million civilian deaths for both sides. Around 30 million Koreans lived in Korea (both South and North), and 3 million died. 10 million in the North, where around 2 million of them were killed. 10% of the Koreans died thanks to foreign intervention. The US was more worried of its influence in East Asia rather than the people living in East Asia. The thing is that NK wanted to unify the Peninsula first. A unified Korea is better no matter what type of government there is. So yeah, from this standpoint, North Korea is the best Korea. It wanted to unify what the "civilized world" divided and tradition-wise, it is more Korean than South Korea. The language seems archaic for Southerners as they didn't borrow as many European words into their vocabulary. The country might be poor, but the people are rich because of their cultural heritage and behavior. They don't value money and aren't greedy. If I can, I would like to visit this country, it is one of the few countries that really looks like something else than the rest of the world. It feels... older. Going back in time, to the good old days, by visiting North Korea. :)

[@blub0137]

@@AndrewVasirov ..so unity is more important than a government that actually gives a f*ck about it's citizens. yeah, no.

[@loaytarek135]

"The army was now fighting a retreating battle against itself" That is beautiful

[@veryanonymous3630]

"Sir, no matter how far we retreat we don't seem to be able to lose them!"

[@streamofconsciousness5826]

A self inflicted Rout.

[@asajjy]

Could you imagine getting away with an entire army's pay? I bet he's still laughing today

[@roberthaworth9097]

Had George Washington turned right instead of left when he came to a crossroads north of Princeton, NJ, in the late afternoon of 2 Jan 1777, he'd have been only a few miles away from seizing the undefended British Army paychest containing 30,000 pounds. But his army had done a lot that day and was tired to the point of falling down, so he decided that that was "a bridge too far". He took up winter quarters instead.

[@vsync]

Robert Haworth wow did he know about it before making the decision?

[@dr.ligmahnutts2993]

vsync that wouldn’t be very cash money of him to do that, think

[@asajjy]

@@thomasjayden8653 #recked

[@Daxter250]

as someone born in austria i find this more believable than the austrian empire winning a battle.

[@alcel24]

Eugene of Savoy would disagree...

[@christiandauz3742]

Isn't Savoy Italian?

[@Daxter250]

@@christiandauz3742 now it is. back then however...

[@ogrelogre8429]

I don't know. As a military veteran, I really have no difficulty in believing things could've gone down exactly that way.

[@TheBayzent]

Except for the Hungarian, Croat and Czech officers not speaking German, which is ridiculous, most citizens in those countries speak German TODAY without any German speaking Empire holding them hostage, thinking that back in the day ,their officers no less (who were mostly nobility since this was before the Napoleonic Wars), did not is beyond ridiculous. Now that in their drunken state they mistook them for Turks, that is a distinct possibility.

[@johnnye87]

@@TheBayzent I don't think it was ever claimed that the *officers* didn't speak German - the story is that the troops, already in disarray & rout, didn't understand orders given to them by some German-speaking officers who were unknown to them. However, it certainly seems a little too neat, given the general lack of concrete details about what happened, that we would know not only that orders were misunderstood due to a language barrier, but the exact misinterpretation that took place.

[@ellidominusser1138]

​​@@TheBayzent It doesn't matter at all if, according to you, which I don't believe, most people in those countries "after they were held hostage by a german speaking Empire" speak german today or not. I think you can understand that it doesn't matter to the 18th century if in 200 years everyone speaks german, it has no effect on those people in the past (unless time traveling is present?)

[@ellidominusser1138]

​​@@TheBayzent also only a minority in these countries speak german even today. Don't just claim that everyone speaks german and was oppressed because you're a nationalist.

[@ellidominusser1138]

By your definition the english would have been suppressed by the french because the nobility and elite spoke french and were under a norman dynasty .

[@WhiteZorin]

The best part would be the dudes who disappear with army treasury :) Best campaign ever for them.

[@peco1551]

That is called raiding the enemy camp, something completely legal in war back then

[@AndrewVasirov]

Everything is legal in war. Especially when there are no witnesses or documentations.

[@abdullahsaad8825]

Kelly's heroes of the middle ages ..

[@arandomguy8771]

Bartosz If I had that option I’d tag along with the lads with the money

[@Katzbalger001]

@@abdullahsaad8825 Middle ages? Missed that by a few centuries--more like Age of Reason (we are talking 1700s, not 1300s, after all)--but yes, I could see this being a set up to steal the gold! So, let's get that movie made! Kelly's Heroes in lace. Who gets to be Crap Game? Moriarty? Big Joe and Little Joe? Kelly himself?

[@Kuderer]

i served six years in the austrian army, and i really think this could be at least plausible. we did a move and shoot manouver, retreating after an ambush, with that laser stuff on the blank fire rifles - and in my 8 man group 3 people got "shot" while retreating ... even we had no enemy in this training situation.

[@minhapchai3524]

MADLAD

[@achintyanaithani889]

...how did you guys win against Suleiman?

[@DrEichelpirat]

Achintya Naithani The same way the Austrians always win: pure Luck

[@ingold1470]

@@achintyanaithani889 By building a more extensive dynasty and web of alliances than him.

[@theemirofjaffa2266]

@@achintyanaithani889 the Winged Hussars came to the rescue. Without them, Turkish might have been spoken in Vienna. Actually, Turkish is spoken in Vienna right now..lol

[@angrytigermpc]

"The entire army, now fighting a retreating battle against itself" This sounds so absurd out of context. Hell, even in context it sounds ridiculous.

[@NoName-cg4mr]

The Ottomans are such a formidable force, they beat you without being present

[@adelwendy120]

xDD long live turkey ♥ lmao

[@shahidakhuhro3490]

@@Nenmeu2 tis but a joke, young youtuber

[@cantutmez8854]

As a turkish,Ottomans were weak at that time so that joke kinda wrong

[@saiien2]

@@cantutmez8854 Well we defeated ourselves even without Ottomans being present. :D

[@beezybuzyfamily]

Long live turkey

[@spinach5995]

WHEN THE DRUNK HUSSARS ARRIVED

[@the_phen0m639]

Sabaton reference 😂😂😂 lol nice one underrated comment

[@furkanindere3848]

Coming down the wrong Side.

[@keshavrao212]

@@the_phen0m639 everyone knows sbaton. Its not necessary to write it

[@the_phen0m639]

@@keshavrao212 ._.

[@keshavrao212]

@@the_phen0m639 😂 dont take it seriously, just poking your nose

[@18mitndi]

"The entire army, now fighting a retreating battle against itself..." Is one of the best sentences I've heard in a while.

[@Akapulko]

"Dumbest Battle in History: Battle of Karánsebes " people that died in this battle: "damn..."

[@SheshadriK-os2du]

Soldiers who died would be bruh'd their soul out of existence after seeing this

[@siel.og0108]

People of Caransebeș call it "Bătălia țuicii" which actually translates to "The battle for Schnapps" .

[@dominiklehn2866]

Wait,if "tuicii" means schnapps, couldn't that also be what was shouted that day?

[@bogdancondicaru7848]

@@dominiklehn2866 țuicii it's a word showing possesion. Like battle's course. Nobody shouts: " battle's, battle's". People may shout: "battle, battle". In this case would be "țuică, țuică". Where ț is read with the same sound like zz from pizza. And ă, dunno... it's like a short "uuuum"... Similar, but not exactly. And the diference from turcii and țuică in spoken language is big. I hope i made myself understood... Peace

[@dominiklehn2866]

@@bogdancondicaru7848 it looked like it could be misunderstood to mean turkish... But i also assumed it tho be the part meaning schnapps

[@bogdancondicaru7848]

@@dominiklehn2866 yes

[@aiocafea]

oh but țuicii does mean schnapps, it's just in genitive case, specifically means 'of the schnapps', but the pronunciations are still very different even if both are in the most context-appropriate form: țuică: tsooy-kuh as opposed to turcii: toor-chi, trying my best to describe the difference with english-language spelling

[@Fierysaint1]

Just think of how confused the Turks were when they found the camp afterwards...

[@olvustin6671]

Oh my Allah! This is why we couldn't find the Austrians 0-0

[@ahmadfrhan5265]

@TheWeeaboo ALLAH AKBAR *

[@leodarksam6230]

@TheWeeaboo More like Alhamdulillah! As Alhamdulillah = Great

[@lemongraabtheforsaken1225]

I like to imagine an ottoman spy/scout witnessing everything

[@ahmadsherbeny5609]

@@lemongraabtheforsaken1225 hahahah that would have been the most hilarious thing a human ever saw or will see I guess if it ever happend xD hehehe nice one mate

[@actionaca]

This make sense. In Croatian "Tuci, tuci..." mean "Fight, fight...". That sounds similar like "Turci, turci" ("Turks, Turks). For drunk Slavs "Halt, halt" can sound similar like "Alah, Alah:. If the story is true, this must be The Dumbest Battle in History. :-)

[@adrianionut7643]

"Turci" is the Romania word for turks :)))

[@012689]

Well if you constatly yell "halt" over and over again it does sound like altha, altha, altha.

[@jakublaucek7747]

@@adrianionut7643 It's also Slovak word for Turks

[@MajorMasonGaming]

Bullshit how does yelling halt over and over again sound like altha?

[@012689]

@@MajorMasonGaming Try screamimg halt halt halt over an over, it'll sound like althalthaltha. Kinda like alah alah alah but with an accent.

[@nathanplays5514]

imagine being an ottoman commander. hearing this: sir sir! the austrians have been destroyed in battle. commander: what? we havent even attacked yet. did someone else attack them? yes! commander: who? THE AUSTRIANS ATTACKED THE AUSTRIANS. commander: dude what the fu-

[@dogukanthemert]

actually in the ottoman sources there is no war. in the ottoman they just came karansebes and finding lots of loots cannon and other things. Ottoman generals think they scared us backoff rapidly and leave the treasure because of this

[@USSAnimeNCC-]

The drunken hussars arrived Fumbling down the mountain side lol

[@Angus-McFife-2nd]

Sabaton? I see you are a man of culture.

[@MrBigCookieCrumble]

Haha

[@Lord_Imperius]

Oh thanks, Now I want to this whole song to exist :D

[@pawenowakowski8498]

@@Avatrass yeah and polish hussars were different type of unit than hungarian hussars

[@bobmcbob49]

THEN THE DRUNK HUSSARS ARRIVED (schnapps kegs, flagons and booze) gotta remember the background lyrics

[@Arphenonn]

Match begins: Austria joined the battle Ottomans wins Ottoman joined the battle Ottomans: ...what?

[@wolfwinter2024]

When your Win95 PC have heavy lags by playing AoE II.

[@cartermiller853]

I promise I won’t get all political. *three barrels later* TURĆI TURĆI!!!

[@shuhratkessikbayev8886]

I could've sworn I've seen you somevideo before today .... Oh yeah that video with the the little boy who becomes a stormtrooper because the rebels killed his little sister via crushing her shitless to death with a giant air silo

[@cartermiller853]

Shuhrat Kessikbayev Yep 😢

[@mistertwister6244]

Commander Appo am from croatia it not turći is turci

[@franco8010]

@@mistertwister6244 in romanian is turcii idk wich one was he refering to

[@Alex-sq4rb]

TURCI not "TURĆI"

[@arat8514]

the guy that yelled turks is the biggest troll in histiry

[@cantutmez8854]

we do a bit of trollin

[@thefirstkingdogo1126]

The guy who shot first: WE do some trolling.

[@alanmonteros6432]

Imagine being the guys that sold them the alcohol and watching this unfold "What have we done"

[@craftuar2439]

Possible they are paid for this chaos ? ;)

[@easyfizie6377]

The seller was the ottoman in disguise….

[@wolfwinter2024]

random austrian distiller: where the hell is all the schnaps gone? corrupt cellar laborers: uhm, we have no idea!

[@ntfoperative9432]

Plot twist, it was secretly ottomans

[@kirkobayne]

that's good schnaps

[@redlander55]

Muslims be like: And that's why alcohol is bad.

[@redmenace5536]

Alcohol is very Haram ma frend 👆

[@enesarc3294]

@@redmenace5536 thats true elhamdülillah

[@FlagshipHistory]

All jokes aside this is one majr reason why its bad

[@spacedrone7819]

That's why alcohol is bad

[@tramachi7027]

Yall are just cowards. Alcohol can be very nice and you can have nice nights with it. You just shouldnt overdo it. Alcohol is not necessary, but its nice to have :)

[@justAlbert_]

Ottomans vs Austria 0 vs 100k *ottomans win*

[@gfg1651]

i think its still an Austrian win

[@joshuabrown2890]

EU4 in a nutshell

[@ladowski2092]

Quality complation xD Turks op

[@lite4998]

Just like the NATO drill in Norway earlier this year. They were fighting against an imaginary Russian invasion... and lost a cruiser.

[@maksymcazymir1727]

@@lite4998 Russia almost always wins :D

[@sarasiatat9446]

As someone who lives in Caransebeş, it's quite shocking seeing a video about our little city:) It's cool learning about stuff they don't teach us in schools.Nice job!

[@famueduyou]

Must be a funny place to live 😅

[@Artem-yk7ig]

Don't even try to call me if your party isn't at least this level!

[@jawadad802]

"the chest with the entire army's wages was lost ..." I'm guessing 1 of those 10.000 dead Austrians was not that dead and a whole lot smarter then the other 99999 soldiers....

[@ovechkin100]

typical humans. amongst the chaos, some few grabbed the loot and ran. I mean, its pretty much a guarantee something like that would happen.

[@Bigman-fh1fz]

@@ovechkin100 smart

[@georgemurdock7670]

The hussars stole it to buy the alcohol

[@jesustakethewheel644]

Inb4 he was also the one that shot the confusing shot

[@eniff2925]

@@Bigman-fh1fz Would you also call it smart if a politician did this to your country's treasury?

[@phukoffdegugle9084]

"... The drunk Hussars made up makeshift defenses around the barrels". Bruh, the sheer absurdity of that caught me completely off-guard ROFLMAO!

[@silver1340]

Not even making barricades for their own use, the barrels are more important!

[@Skull.man00]

Cam we talk about how making barricades as Hussary doesn't make sense?

[@Harsh-tf9he]

​@@Skull.man00 thats because they were DRUNK, they COULDNT think straight

[@josephlongbone4255]

One of the funniest and saddest facts is that the Emperor, upon seeing this level of astonishing incompetence, fell into a depression, convinced that the ottomans could not be stopped and died later that year.

[@alanpennie]

Joseph II, he of the "too many notes" and trying to fix the sexual dysfunction of his brother in law, led a life which was both sad and silly. The Hapsburg Kendall Roy.

[@Trias805]

Maybe the Ottomans used wololo

[@MrBigCookieCrumble]

Help! Crusaders are attacking our trade routes!

[@tonmoyalam83]

@@MrBigCookieCrumble These dialogues are imprinted in my brain till I die.

[@Biggvs_dickvs]

Marco

[@KarausTheReTeller]

Laughed my ass off LOOOL AHAAHAHAHAH IKR exactly :D

[@bclbthn]

@@Biggvs_dickvs Polo

[@X_Cuze_Tf_outta_me]

"Built makeshift defenses around the barrels" 😂😂 they really wanted that beer

[@sskuk1095]

You don't know Austrians if you don't belive this!

[@a0flj0]

Wasn't beer. Was brandy.

[@olvustin6671]

PROTECT THE BOOZE

[@Bayard1503]

@@a0flj0 The thing is in that area there is no traditional brandy... there is however a plum spirit named Tuica with 50% alcohol content...

[@a0flj0]

@@Bayard1503 You don't say! I'm from Lugoj :-D That's what brandy means: a spirit distilled from fruit.

[@basedimperialism]

So wait, did the Austrian forces succeed im driving the Austrians out of the city, or were the Austrians beaten back by the superior Austrian forces?

[@axelblack1799]

Yes.

[@perastotigautera1426]

No.it was the otherway around!

[@deaugh985]

Id say the first one.

[@niggalations4136]

@@axelblack1799 Lmao

[@danielchera9214]

Right...the hussars were very elite. They especially show their mettle here.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

I seem to recall the British managing to lose a naval "battle" against themselves, too. An entire detachment of hideous frankensubs encountered a series of engineering and navigational difficulties, and almost completely destroyed themselves, and took a few of the actually good vessels around them along for their wild ride.

[@senTien.6]

It's called the Battle of May Island I think

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

@@senTien.6 That's it! Thanks for the brain jostling!

[@Grimmwoldds]

Add "Operation Wikinger" and the 3rd Reich to that list.

[@josephlongbone4255]

Ah yes, the K-class submarine: "Are submarines supposed to dive backwards?"

[@bkjeong4302]

The K-class, subs so awful they could reach crush depth *while still at the surface.*

[@itersman1013]

Reminds me when US marines and Canadian troops (34000 soldiers) launched an attack to concur Kiska (an Alutian island) from the Japanese who had withdrawn 18 days earlier. In spite of that they succeeded to kill 314 comrades -- it´s called friendly (sic) fire. And I´m sure there are many more examples of "dumb" battles.

[@КалимжанБейсеуов]

Do you know what “Kiska” mean in Russian?

[@fdenisiuc]

@@КалимжанБейсеуов No, tell us, please.=)

[@КалимжанБейсеуов]

@@fdenisiuc there are 2 meanings. First - is a cat. Second - is female genital s.

[@romanpopyk]

@@fdenisiuc it means "pussy". In both ways

[@PeliSotilas]

Operation Cottage

[@DardanellesBy108]

There’s been thousands of “friendly fire” incidents through out history. And I’m sure alcohol was a factor in many. Why would this be hard to believe? Great video!

[@OljeiKhan]

Ill-disciplined armies that don't speak the same language are particularly prone to this.

[@robertnett9793]

@@OljeiKhan yeah. And tossing a few kegs of schnaps in the mix, doesn't really improve the odds...

[@antares_m20]

thats why alcoholic beverage or being drunk is haram/ prohibited in islam :)

[@tarektechmarine8209]

@Dum Bassturd not really, but because being sane all the time is better. Plus losing even 1k soldiers to your own troops is certainly something you don't want happening 'occasionally'.

[@linkskywalker5417]

@@tarektechmarine8209 That, and while being drunk makes you tougher, it's often better to admit you are a coward that has to run from a particularly bad battle than to be drunk and get everyone who is sober killed.

[@dukaktemuryaylg9659]

jannisary: wtf what they are doing. pasha:never mind. bring me popcorn

[@silviasanchez648]

I can picture the Ottomans sitting comfortably with bags of munchies to watch the show.

[@emperorkaido8539]

😂😂😂😂😂😂i didnt have anything to do only reading and smiling

[@meshallonely1951]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@rehanfarazi6547]

😂😂

[@wolfwinter2024]

Remind: don't interrupt it if your enemy makes a mistake. xD

[@m.taufikfatur603]

that one dude who snatch the whole army pay : *STONKS*

[@juanmartinpinos7156]

Austrian guy: *HALT!!* Other Austrian guy: Did he just said... *ALLAH?!*

[@ferbintegabriel4714]

Slavs: TURCIIIII!!!!!!

[@Specoups]

*TRIGGERED*

[@emperorthylord]

Another Austrian dude: fuck he said Allah.......

[@arcm4210]

Did he just say Allah? *retreating intensivis*

[@curlygal9793]

*H A L T*

[@jurex81]

This would make a great film, though

[@LuanZeqiri1]

Oh that would be great a great movie with comedy action drama etc

[@foxtrothermite6499]

Would be a short one though

[@sarpwilliamkugtan973]

@@foxtrothermite6499 not really just put some action scenes there and some comedy and it would make the movie one hour or even longer

[@emperorkaido8539]

soo true cuz this never happened before i think

[@nerxesnerdorious2346]

Maybe some Kellys Heroes remake about a swashbuckling and daring gold heist?

[@phoenixrq9139]

*when the NPCs accidentally shooteach other causing them to be hostile to each other*

[@ingold1470]

This sounds like a Dwarf Fortress story.

[@tantejunko]

minecraft mobs

[@ennui9745]

@@tantejunko Doom enemies did it first.

[@michaelminch5490]

"The entire army, now fighting a retreating battle against itself..." That's just a fantastic line.

[@patrykkotkowski8781]

The world: you cant lose a battle if there are no enemies. Austria: . . . The world: . . . Austria: oh boy that ambush the Ottomans did last day sure was unexpected . . .

[@KarausTheReTeller]

This reminds me of Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme

[@arnekrug939]

Or this one guy holding a gun to the head of a copy of himself.

[@PatroitSongChannel]

Wtf 666th likes

[@theoriginalshew]

*Spider-Man

[@enesarc3294]

:D

[@zetanta8490]

The ottomans were like "wtf these idiots doing" while watching from afar and drinking ayran

[@mafia_boss_neto]

It remember me as a Roblox Tankist crewmate when I steal raiders tanks to go back to my base get a friendly tank and my own team's Tigers, Panthers, Panzer IV's, Pumas, StuG III's and Flakpanzers start firing at me and I jump off just before it blow.

[@gede1013]

@@mafia_boss_neto which game ?

[@mafia_boss_neto]

@@gede1013 Roblox's The Dogeland Realm

[@the_phen0m639]

@@mafia_boss_neto you play roblox? Try blood and iron or battles

[@the_phen0m639]

Try playing in a server with low ppl

[@mty6217]

I appreciate u mentioning your sources and their accuracy in the end! 👍

[@jacquesfrancois4275]

Legit the first animated historical battle video that made me laugh out loud

[@vinceflores6592]

Me: sending an "i still love you" text to your ex is the worst thing you could do while drunk Austrians:

[@antimatter31]

Meanwhile : What’s an ex?

[@WesleyKwong]

HEINS: HALT! ME: ALAH! My Friend: WE'RE GONNA DIE!

[@jurajfilin7180]

I wonder if anybody in Central Europe did not know the word "halt". It was probably the first German word I learned in my life as in the war movies that I watched the German soldiers used it very often.

[@horstschlemmer2042]

Juraj Filin you idiot! In 1788 there were no war Movies with german soldiers because WW2 didn’t happen yet. So how should they learn the word „Halt“?? 🙄

[@sdsd2e2321]

@@horstschlemmer2042 Because they live in a country that speaks german, obviously. But maybe only Croatian soldiers patrolled in Croatia and so forth, maybe they had no interactions with german soldiers.

[@horstschlemmer2042]

Cyrus I made a joke bro. Maybe not a good one if I need to explain it but still.

[@j.p.5013]

@@sdsd2e2321 Yes, Croatia and Hungary were the front line then, so they probably had little to no interaction with Germans, people also didn't travel much in that time and also only small fraction of soldiers needs to misunderstood the order and fire to everyone start firing.

[@TheAbsoluteProduction]

Wow, I'm from Caransebeș and I can't believe I never knew about this funny battle until now lol! It's incredible how history can be right under our noses, yet sometimes we only discover it later. Better late than never, though!

[@togrulhuseynli7600]

how to win a battle against Austria as ottomans: step 1: declare your existence in the area step 2: give your enemy some time step 3: ????? profit

[@the_phen0m639]

Stonks

[@wolfwinter2024]

more like: give our enemy some schnaps

[@saqlainbhat5104]

🤣🤣🤣

[@afrikayt]

*Plot twist : The "roma people" were Ottomans in disguise

[@alexanderchristopher6237]

Ottoman spies.

[@danielchera9214]

When in doubt...provide alcohol to Slavs

[@99unclesam17]

Lol

[@TheIndogamer]

**HMMMMmmmmmm**

[@worsethanjoerogan8061]

Easiest way to expose an Ottoman spy "You drink first..."

[@josephstalin6549]

Australia: ‘We lost to a bunch of bloody posh emus’ Austria: *HOLD MY BEER*

[@harisisrarkhan4320]

Other people say Hold my beer Austrians: Give me my Beer.

[@talltroll7092]

*Schnapps

[@richard35791]

Give hold my beer meaning to some kind of new level

[@officiallymarvellous]

Don't, actually, give me BACK my *beer*

[@dblum]

This is why the Ottomans didn’t drink.

[@kitkat47chrysalis95]

definitely not because of Islam or Mohamed

[@dblum]

@@kitkat47chrysalis95 IT WAS A JOKE

[@mr.magnificent3237]

Who would win: Some drunk austrian bois or Some drunk Austrian bois

[@betoh7140]

Some inexistent Ottoman bois

[@OkurkaBinLadin]

@@betoh7140 Nah, I would still bet on Austrians.

[@Michael_______]

me

[@ionized007]

Allah

[@ericr.malice318]

@@Michael_______ no

[@aksmex2576]

I really like the fact that you try to clear up at the end that it might not be 100% correct. That's what sets apart honest historians from those that like to spread around lies and only mention the version of a story that meets their agenda, and doesn't mention the idea that they may be wrong. Good job.

[@bobmcbob49]

Always with history you need to remember that nothing will ever be perfectly accurate unless it was perfectly recorded. Even then we don't know if it was perfectly recorded, so much is left to interpretation. For example, some of what Machiavelli referenced as factual history in his books (if you haven't read them, his two most famous are almost entirely book-sized essays on history up until his "modern era") was eventually regarded was myth. It wasn't that he pulled it out of his ass, but what he referenced was widely considered to be a historical fact during his time.

[@Vitorruy1]

Intescy Avenger *fits the meme

[@auditedpatriot6376]

Skirmishes between allied soldiers have been known to happen, including "The Battle of Brisbane" in WWII between American and Australian troops. Alcohol was also involved.

[@monroecorp9680]

Did the Aussies win? Aussies and Kiwis have a bit more of the boozed-up fisticuffs culture

[@1Phase1]

@Monroe Corp Well, you *could* say the Aussies won because the Americans were forced to relocate their PX building and Red Cross building (both of which were the center of the conflict) as well as move large amounts of their troops out of Brisbane. A lot of Americans ended up getting beat up by crowds of Australian soldiers and at one point, there was going to be full on gunfight involving grenades before it was defused by Australian officers. Ironically enough, the "battle" started out because some Australian troops were trying to defend an American soldier from being unfairly arrested by an American MP, but it escalated into a fight between Australian and American troops.

[@deleted-something]

0:18 for a microsecond I read 200,000 to 100,000 lol

[@aaronherman6396]

Your historical research methodology is spot on. You triangulate the data through contemporay sources, look through the perspectives of both sides, and examine what was occuring on the ground. Only then do you draw any conclusions. Although I consider myself widely knowledgeable in Germanic history i.e., Brandenburg- Prussia, Austro-Hungary, Denmark, etc., I have never heard of this tactical blunder. Thanks for the entertaining and informative video. Respectfully...

[@LimeCultivist]

"The entire army, now fighting a retreating battle against itself"

[@dusan19377]

You must understand that Austran army were mostly strong and poorly educated peasants from Croatia, Slovakia and some experienced Serbs who fought for generations against Turks. And now you have night, all those different and drunk people who are offended and scared that Ottoman Turks are really there coming for them. And they thrust nobody and want to survive and and and... xD A mad house, bro!

[@Nexus9]

"The entire army, now fighting a retreating battle against itself" Hah, that line had me rolling!

[@bordoenes6217]

I can only imagine how much the Ottomans were laughing their arzes off back home.

[@jzk3919]

Bottom line: "BACK HOME"...I wish now they were "back home" laughing or else.

[@puckerbutton7025]

dying in a battle for it only to be labeled Dumbest battle in history one could only be so lucky

[@josephmartin334]

I don’t always drink but when I do it causes a military disaster.

[@the_phen0m639]

Underrated

[@cudi_flo]

Imagine, the Ottomans standing there and think: “Well, the Europeans are special..”

[@OljeiKhan]

"Such a shame those Safavids don't do this shit" Ottoman Pasha , probably.

[@someguysomeone3543]

And they say diversity is a strength.

[@ennui9745]

@@OljeiKhan of course, the Safavids didn't drink after all.

[@yalinnalp]

@@ennui9745 muslims drank too

[@saqlainalvi5485]

@@yalinnalp no

[@realgamer4231]

"the entire armies payroll was also missing along with 7 soldiers" wonder what happened and the chances that these 2 incidents are connected

[@silviasanchez648]

This is just a comedy movie waiting to be written/filmed.

[@user-xu2pi6vx7o]

I see no connection between the two.

[@5hiftyL1v3a]

@@user-xu2pi6vx7o i found one of the seven!

[@user-xu2pi6vx7o]

@@5hiftyL1v3a Technically, the narrator said "several" not "seven". For all we know, it was just one dude and you found him!

[@Xandros999]

@@silviasanchez648 I can't believe there's no movie about this.

[@zrzvtadam]

Ottoman recon unit: Commander! I have a good news and a bad news. Ottoman commander: Bad news first! Ottoman recon unit: Enemy won the battle. Ottoman commander: And the good news? Ottoman recon unit: They've also lost it.

[@jimcook1747]

Halt? Sounds like Allah to me.

[@AlexAlex-fk4py]

But you're not a slav

[@ghostbl33d65]

Say it with an accent that sounds more like(Ha~elt) then say it three times fast. Also keep in mind that these men were drunk and probably hearing him from the distance.

[@r3cy]

@@ghostbl33d65 also, when shouted loudly 't' sounds can't be enunciated. so all you're hearing is a stream of the letters 'hal-hal-hal' repeated during gunfire. it's pretty easy to see how that could be heard as 'allah' if that's what you're specifically listening for (because you expect to be attacked by a muslim army).

[@BroadwayRonMexico]

@@r3cy A lot of the army also didnt speak a word of German

[@stukablyat6266]

Jim Cook sorry u don’t exist anymore

[@raresnandra2145]

*Sees the dumbest battle in history* Me: daaaamn what happened?? *Looks at the thumbnail and reads caransebes, the name of a town less than 100km from my house* Me: wtf😶

[@290198Nicholas]

Congratulations you have near by vacation spot on the dumbest battle place in history

[@raresnandra2145]

@@290198Nicholas true

[@raduvlad4429]

plm frate fernando e de acolo.

[@adelwendy120]

xDDD LMFAO ..bro .. your grandparents were so stupid tbh xDD

[@raresnandra2145]

@@adelwendy120 not really cause my grandparents (romanians) didnt do anything but sell the booze😂😂😂

[@ihavetowait90daystochangem67]

They left friendly fire on

[@brandonvistan7444]

I was going to say that.

[@_Roboute_Guilliman_]

LOL, why is this in my feed? But also... FFING HILARIOUS!!! 😂👍🏻

[@balijaa]

Officer: "HALT! HALT! HALT! Luka: "Hanz whats he saying I dont know German?!" Hanz: "OH GOSH HES TRAITOR!! HES A TURK!! HES SAYING - ALLAH!! ALLAH!! ALLAH!!" Artillery Officer: " GOSH TURKS!! FIREEE!! FIREEEE!! RETREAT TURKS!!"

[@saytans7497]

Ottoman scouts be like : you okay bro?

[@OnkelKurac]

HAHAHAHHA

[@melih1429]

kawaii

[@arnekrug939]

Imagine they had heard the "Turci, Turci!" calls and thought that some splinter force of them was attacked and send reinforcements.

[@joelquinn5347]

@@arnekrug939 i thought the same - risking their lives to defend their austrian brothers in need!

[@johanandhira5429]

This is literally the national scale version of "if you punch yourself and it felt hurt, are you strong or weak?"