Modern Dating Challenges and How To Deal With Them - Dating Advice

Modern Dating Challenges and How To Deal with them- Dating advice. Feel like dating has become a chore? Dating games, hot and cold behavior, mixed messages, and red flags can leave you exhausted and wondering if you'll ever find a decent partner. Here’s how you to regain your confidence and set yourself up to find a great partner.
Dating can feel disheartening when you don't know how to filter or look for the wrong type of partner. Careful filtering will indeed bring you a good person.
---
Work with Me: susanwinter.ne...
The Dating Games Guide:
You know you're being played, but what's the game?
And, what's your countermove?
Not to worry. I’ve got you covered: susanwinter.re...
Rough breakup?
Check out: Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache
Audible: www.audible.com...
Amazon: www.amazon.com...
Wondering how to benefit from life's challenges?
Allowing Magnificence; Living the Expanded Version of Your Life
www.amazon.com...
The Older Women | Younger Men Dating Guide:
Dating a younger man and wondering if it will last?
Attracted to an older woman and not sure how to make your move?
Answers to all your age gap questions: susanwinter.re...

[@azmike3572]

"Hitting one disaster after another..." I can't even find someone to have a disaster with!! 🙂

[@SusanWinter]

Funny!!!

[@pritalaras]

An endless war, now i ghost first before they do once i see no interest or red flag. They do that too 😢

[@SusanWinter]

I have a different method if you're open to doing something differently. I would suggest a diplomatic, calling them out. Rather than just ghosting preemptively, why don't you let them know that you were disappointed that they chose that option. Consider it a very moderate spanking. I think people need to hear it so that they won't automatically assume that they can simply do that and that that is "the way of the world nowadays." I think the change starts with us.

[@karolinap8313]

@@SusanWinter That´s also sometimes sad, like we become catalyst, so they can become better for the next person, but we couldn´t have them at their best.

[@morpheus3190]

I agree Susan, it is so exhausting. There are so many dishonest bad players out there that stretch the outer limits of behavior. There is also another class of people out there that are damaged from past issues. They are good people, but I can’t deal with their problems and the drama. You can’t believe what people have tried to unload on me. Taking a break as I am so tired of this. lol.

[@SusanWinter]

I totally agree with you, and I think that that is a wise choice. Because you're not going to be in a good frame of mind if this is all you're seeing. Granted, it is, indeed, the lay of the land nowadays. But better to refresh, do things you love. Shift your focus and then come back at a later time when you're feeling more interest. Thanks for your commentary.

[@morpheus3190]

@@SusanWinter thanks for all of your wonderful work and real world advice!

[@thepragmatist]

Exactly. Dating should be kind of fun and light hearted but people treat it like a job interview or view you as a therapist whom they can unload all their problems onto. Add to that the dishonesty of some (maybe they are already married or partnered or have other stuff going on that they're not telling you about), and it truly is a lot of energy. I think more and more people are feeling like the return isn't worth it.

[@Kloops]

I dated my ex husband for four years starting when I was 18 and he was 19. And he was someone I respected so greatly. And after 23 years of marriage I realized and learned that right after we got married he changed into a bachelor mindset of being kind and thoughtful to himself. He was also a compulsive liar. I asked a few years ago why did he change? And he said because he wasn’t courting me anymore. So that scares me to be with anyone else because the dating is what made me fall in love. I feel I was deceived in the four years of dating.

[@SusanWinter]

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear this. He had a mindset that perhaps you couldn't begin to understand as a young woman. When we're young we are far more open and far more naïve. And perhaps he became over Time the man that you have learned, you cannot respect. It's clear that you were willing to work on your relationship, but he was not. And I'm sorry that you've had to have this experience. Not all people change that dramatically. And I also believe that you can't erase the good four years just because he became a different person, or he evolved into the more negative version of who he is today. Please allow yourself the gift of knowing that in that time and space he was very present and very much a person that was worthy of love. It often seems so sad to erase the good years we had simply because the person devolves later in time..

[@thepragmatist]

You bring up a great point. People can change up at any time. You would think after 4 years of dating, you would be "safe" and actually feel like you know the person. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. All the best to you.

[@YouTubeUzername]

I was struggling until I discovered this channel. Susan has excellent insight, and the wealth of knowledge here is invaluable and always spot on.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you!!

[@marischlice3990]

Exactly! On to the next. The ?? To ask yourself. No dwelling, journaling, analyzing… listen and watch what people are showing you. Be discerning! Listen to Susan!🖤🖤🖤

[@MikeyP1983]

They contact you, tell you how much they like you and can't wait to see you but yet they don't have the decency/common sense to set a date time/place and make actual plans and communicate properly

[@SusanWinter]

That can be so immensely frustrating, especially when it comes to online dating!

[@transitionsnc]

Unfortunately, talk is cheap.

[@MikeyP1983]

That is so true

[@charlt7670]

You know Susan, maybe at timer you should talk about that not all problem is because of "they".

[@debbie6533]

You should of seen how hilarious it was during the pandemic. Ridicolous. People willing to travel aross the country for nookie. I told one guy i am sure you can meet a nice woman in New York vs San Francisco

[@petervanderlind]

Great content, sometimes it's better to look at a person or situation and admit it's just a big waste of time and effort

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for watching! ❤

[@MikeyP1983]

I'm sick of being the bad guy,every single time, I'm open,honest,forthright, say what I think and how I feel and all I get is "you are having a go" and get blocked/ghosted. I'm gay and I can honestly say I've yet to meet a guy who can see my perspective,look themselves in the mirror and see where they are wrong ,it's like everyone of them is made from the most fragile fine china ,their egos are so fragile it is beyond belief. It makes me wonder do they ever have that moment of clarity where they think so and so is right about what they said etc. It's projected/deflected onto me every single time when I have spoken the most basic, logical ,easy to understand common sense. Maybe I can come across too direct but I'd much prefer somebody be like that than somebody you have to try figure out what they are thinking,tbh some guys seem too thick to understand anything other than total directness. Why can't people admit to being wrong so you can see both perspectives and work to resolve things?, Why is admitting to being wrong classed as some kind of major character flaw/makes people think others will see them as defective? Is that classed as narcissistic behaviour?

[@SusanWinter]

I really appreciate your commentary. It is a good question. Why can’t people admit when they’re wrong? But knowing that people don’t want to align themselves with what they perceive to be a deficit, have you ever thought of asking, “help me to understand that perspective.“ Sometimes asking them in detail why they’re making that choice and behavior will unravel it in front of their own eyes without you having to point your finger directly add it. Just a thought. And if you happen to try it out and it work for you, please let me know.

[@MikeyP1983]

Thank you for the advice Susan, very much appreciated😊

[@linedancing]

he was all those wonderful things but he had an underlying gambling addiction. He walked out when i was visiting my son and I only found out about the money he lost in the divorce papers

[@eternalgaming4679]

My most recent modern dating story that put me off for a while; Met a woman online, met up and dated for 2.5 months, seeing each other 4 days a week. Everything seemed to be going well, didn't have conflict, had future plans, I always treated her with respect, etc. One day I receive a message that she is very sick, but would love to see me when she feels better. I keep on reaching out, out of concern, and one day got a message of how bad a person she is, and still very sick, etc. Don't hear from her for a week +, despite reaching out every couple of days to hear if she is doing ok. So after a while I decide to reach out to her friend, just to find out she is in good health and nothing is wrong. Obviously stopped reaching out after that. Still struggling to deal with why one would do this to another person you were seeing so regularly. And that it seems so malicious making me worry about her health as well.

[@thepragmatist]

Great video. It's a shame but you really do need to stay detached for a certain period of time - maybe even 6 months or a year until you really get to know a person. That way if a person disappears, it won't be that big a deal. I know a woman in NYC who was dating a guy for 3 months and he completely disappeared with no explanation. They were going out and doing things together, sleeping together, etc. She was extremely sad. Then he reappeared after a period of time. This went on for two years until she finally said "no more". And this is an attractive woman who has a lot going for her. Unfortunately, these situations are so common these days for a variety of reasons. I simply don't want to participate. If I meet someone in a natural way and get to know them over time, that's great. But I won't go on dating apps. It's a time suck and I'd rather be doing other things. With that said, I wish people on dating all the best. I do realize people meet good individuals on the apps. But it just seems like a lot to go through.

[@TheSarah730]

Timely. Thanks Susan ❤

[@SusanWinter]

I love reading this. Thank you so much for letting me know about the synchronicity.

[@karins2200]

Susan, the best way to deal with modern dating is not to date at all !! I am just saying !

[@SusanWinter]

That certainly is an option!

[@acd1168]

Amen

[@SusanWinter]

🤗

[@Antoinette14273]

Short n sweet ✅ Find someone I respect. 💯

[@avarosalia4309]

Watching this video made the gong in my brain go off. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@SusanWinter]

Yay!!! The gong. I love this

[@avarosalia4309]

@@SusanWinterit was the “seeks no harm” for me THIS was exactly what was missing in my puzzle. Thank you thank you thank you for all you do🙏🏼 ✨

[@alessaxn]

Susan, you mentioned that you had recorded a video about your phrase "filter, filter, filter" but it has never been posted here 😢

[@SusanWinter]

I did. It was at the top of 2023. It was in my number one message for the year was to filter filter filter. So there isn't a video per se that is titled, "filter filter filter." But perhaps I should make one? Great suggestion

[@alessaxn]

@@SusanWinter thank you! Yes, please! That would be great 💕💕

[@karolinap8313]

It´s just so hurtful when the person was perfect and respectful and then changed their bevaviour towards you. As if they wanted to push you away, so you leave them for good and never come back. As if you were not worthy of their love, but someone else is, because they will treat their new interest of love with respect. I thought we wanted the same things, but maybe he wanted them but eventually not with me. That´s hurtful, because I know those great qualities are inside of this person and right now I would need to search for the same qualities with someone else, which is not what I wanted in the first place.

[@SusanWinter]

I’ve read all of this, but I have to ask, how do you know that they are going to be better with the next person? Do you absolutely positively know that to be true? Or maybe they’re good in the beginning and what you experienced is the middle, and the end of all their relationships. Just saying…

[@OlhaKorchevna]

Just great! 😍

[@beachgirl4]

❤

[@lyndamcmullen5506]

❤❤❤

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Lynda

[@Zhaturianvisionz]

Straight jewel. The respect point was the truth.

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for that. I do realize that there's a lot of good information out there on helping people find the right partner. So I'm always on the hunt for what has "not been said before." And this is why I find the issue of respect to be one that is so important. Being able to respect our partner means that they are of fine character. And a fine character is less likely to exhibit bad behavior

[@petersjj]

Just...always so good. Incredible advice as ALWAYS. The modern dating world can be SO crazymaking and demented. This is exactly what I needed to know and to REMEMBER in this process.

[@Tonyarrj268]

Thanks you Susan. There are 6 billion people out there, almost 3 billion are women. Thanks for remind me that there´s someone with the same values, and same tastes as me. lots of love from Chile 😘

[@RodrigoSilva-fs7lo]

good morning Susan, a great video as always!

[@ninacharm9044]

❤ Susan. I needed to hear this