Modern Dating & The Dark Triad | HUGE RED FLAGS to Save Yourself From

[@ThaMetalMan]

I just wanted to say that for the last few months your videos have been very helpful to me. I just left my girlfriend and you have helped me understand why she behaved the way she did. Understanding things better has given me a sense of peace

[@Deelee77]

Wow... this video explains so much!!! Just broke up with someone on Friday. He def has narcissistic traits, but the machiavellianism describes him exactly!!!!! I kept trying to figure out what was wrong.... this is it!!! Wish I saw this video 7 months ago!!!

[@worldadventuretravel]

Protect yourself. The machiavellianism and psychopathy can put you in danger when you leave the relationship. Block all access to you and keep your eyes wide open.

[@wendydaniel1110]

Robert Greene's book "The Art of Seduction" was the ticket to keeping my sanity, autonomy, emotional detachment and soul in check... The patterns, schemes used, techniques carried out, and the goals that they want to accomplish outlined are made clear.... Run fast and far away...Nothing to entertain unless you enjoy playing in a field of land mines for fun... Good information 👍

[@marybruce76]

Her microphone changes colors. I just noticed it. Oooo… Aaahhhh I got squirreled. Thank you for all your content. I’ve been a part of PDS for about a month now, and it is fantastic!

[@cornwallismorgan874]

OH MY GOSH, IT DOES.

[@gregoryritchie7852]

My church pastor - the person I trusted most- embodied the entire dark triad. My mistrust that developed led years later to kicking out another person, the love of my life for no real reason. Speaking from experience, the dark triad can bring true devastation.

[@worldadventuretravel]

It's very common in spiritual circles. Spiritual narcissism is a thing. Watch a bunch of cult documentaries, especially with archival footage of the founders (like L. Ron Hubbard and Jim Jones) and you'll see it.

[@gregoryritchie7852]

A wolf in sheep's clothing.

[@Littleone124]

It's probably an unpopular opinion, but many so-called "Christians" have many of these traits.

[@nathanraperekisi-clifford1653]

😊Thanks alot Thais.. Your work has done so much Clarity for Me.. Been in a Narcissistic Dynamic before,It was really Heartbreaking since You Show up as Your best, whilst the other is Busy gaslighting and triangulating You for no apparent solid Reason.I managed to Heal myself after I was brutally discarded,after catching her cheating.

[@nathanraperekisi-clifford1653]

However I'm yet at the bottom of a dark hole.. last year around October I met a lovely girl and frankly speaking,I was so into her,She broke things off with me this April.. simply because I was there for her in every way possible. She so happens to be a Dismissive Avoidant and I Started off On the Secure side of things.Honestly Thais,I tried it all.I tried Introducing attachment theory to her as a Model for Healing Our inner Children and Strengthening Our Bond for a More Fulfilling Healthy Union.Things took a turn for the worst as she wouldn't commit nor effectively communicate-We had discussed Needs and Boundaries which I had in place to make sure there was Trust as she had mentioned that I was her safe Place.The long distance apart made me more committed to setting Goals for Growth, as We are both Young Entrepreneurs trying to set up Individual Safari based businesses.I'm based in Africa,in the Majestic Okavango Delta and I'm a Tourism Expert. I've been working on a very unique project centered around Couple Retreats for Young couples who are trying to build Strong healthy Relationships,I called it "SOUL MATES ™" It's been Soul taxing since I really wanted to build a family with this girl.. I turned down the opportunity to leave for NEW YORK as I really wanted us to be stable.. none the less she still discarded Me. I'm Hurting real bad but right now I just want to focus on my Healing.. I have a half a million dollar Farming Business deal I need to focus on closing before I can channel all my attention to You Attachment Theory Courses. THE GOAL IS TO START OFFERING COUPLES THERAPY SESSIONS in the heart of the African Wilderness.. Any advice from your end will be very much Appreciated.. keep it real with me Even if it might bruise My ego!

[@GJones247]

The only way to avoid these characteristics is to be authentic. Inauthentic people can not be with authentic people because they will catch inauthentic people in everything they do. If you notice, a lot of people are meeting people, but these people do follow through or never go on a date (ghosting). That is because when they see your authenticity, they run because they realize they can not manipulate you. It hurts but it is best that they leave early then them leave down the road.

[@RamadonPiano]

Nah fr. I got scared once. She left so quick. Just shows who is gonna stick it out with you. Of course I am heartbroken, but at least it wasn’t a long term relationship.

[@GJones247]

@@RamadonPiano that is the human experience. Pain is in every aspect of life. There is good pain and bad pain. She did you a favor.

[@RamadonPiano]

@@GJones247 She really did brother. I really needed to read that brother. 👌

[@zsrillanka]

Yeah, it happened once. I was “in” at the first stages of dating, in a playful way, then after having sex he disappeared (guess it was part of his book, to see if i cared or act out of pride). So Thankfully he run away at the beginning and i let him in a calm way. Of course got a hearty message a month later, which made me think he was narcissistic (but i dont like labels)

[@anyaroz8619]

Dear Thais, I love your videos and I learn so much from them. I do have a question and maybe it can even be considered an ask. Most of your videos center around romantic relationships. I do understand the importance of finding a partner in life to love and to hold. BUT, please, please talk more about friendships. Friendships are extremely important to many people. I have struggled a lot to make or maintain a friendship and am in great need of advice on how to be a better friend, how to not get in a trap with abusive "friends", how to sort vulnerability from arrogance, how to survive a friend-hosting trauma, how to deal with those who may be charmers turned villains, or those who are deeply insecure and push away, etc. Please create more friendship content. Your advice through the years has been extremely valuable to me

[@CeeP211]

She has some. If you type in Thais Gibson friendships, you will see the list of videos she has done on various attachment styles and friendships.

[@Littleone124]

There are some however a lot of what applies in a relationship also works for a friendship

[@geoffreybester7953]

I'm dating BPD girl. The trauma bond has made me turn my emotional pain into physically self hurt. I got a broken ankle and need surgery. She is still ALL about herself about the last stupid tiny fight. Doesn't care one bit about me that I'm going into surgery.

[@ozratarot]

get free cause it will just get worse

[@asdfxcvbn746]

and you still haven't left her? smh

[@geoffreybester7953]

@@ozratarot worse, she threatens to kill me with gangsters.

[@anon660]

Wow! Things adding up. Thanks Thais!

[@veravizelkova9558]

You definitely deserve more subscribers

[@sifublack192]

This is a really good breakdown. I remember my ex told me that she wasn't sure about me because I wasn't "love bombing" her in the beginning. In addition, she picked fights over differences of opinion, took every difference personally, and became aggressive, and had a HUGE impulse to drink alcohol when something bothered her. She worked so hard to get me to emotionally react to things and REALLY hit below the belt about the death of one of my siblings. When she started referring to herself in the third person, I was done. Luckily I've been in the game long enough to look at BEHAVIOR rather than listen to WORDS. If someone was ❤️ 💣 me in the beginning, it's a red flag because they don't even know me yet. All that said, I think my ex was a combination of makaveli and narcissism. She even used to say things like, "I'm educated, I'm important," when she was in the running to make speeches for organizations. After we broke up she actually said to me, "you had your chance with me and you blew it!" Then went on to say how hurt she was, only to turn around and say how much she missed me. This video certainly gives insight into what was going on in her mind.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

She referred to herself in the third person?? XD

[@sifublack192]

@@cornwallismorgan874 yes, it was surreal because my sister and I used to joke about it when we were younger.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

@@sifublack192 That is so bizarre. I've done that a couple times myself, but mostly to be funny. I didn't know people did it seriously.

[@sifublack192]

@@cornwallismorgan874 what's strange was that she had nothing to be insecure about. She was a neuroscientist that was borderline gifted in her academic aptitude. She was scientifically published before she was 18 years old, went to Virginia Tech and Caltech on a full scholarship, and even went so far as to get an award named after her while she was at Caltech. It's actually why I was so attracted to her in the first place as I saw she was making the most out of her abilities. Having been an advanced placement student in high school, studied three majors simultaneously in college, trained celebrities you can actually see on Netflix and Disney+, went on the local television channel, and built a martial art school from scratch which became the 2023 martial art school of the year, I saw a perfect match. However, life taught me a hard lesson I've again. 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@asdfxcvbn746]

lmao @ the 3rd-person thing being the straw that broke the camel's back... but yeah, she showed ALL her red flags. i don't have brothers or sisters, but the comment about my deceased sibling would've been an instant "pack your bags & get out."

[@GeoffreyAngapa]

Excellent descriptions. I think a foolproof way to escape these fantastic individuals is not to have anything to do with the modern game of love.

[@tobytilsed5333]

celibacy?

[@GeoffreyAngapa]

@@tobytilsed5333 Indeed, why not?

[@spacecat8511]

No. This can happen in any relationship-friendships, familial, work relationships, etc.

[@tobytilsed5333]

@@GeoffreyAngapa I suspect that to become indefinitely celibate is to throw the baby out with the bath water. The goal is for healthy relationships where both individuals have space to heal and grow...and where the foundation is self awareness and clear communication. I am sad for you that your encounters have driven you to choose this as the optimum strategy...but if the society is sick...work out how to have the conversations that piece by piece help to heal that society. To give up on it and turn your back on it is in my opinion, a mistake. But I understand that you only arrive at that place having survived many bouts of pain and disappointment.

[@GeoffreyAngapa]

@@tobytilsed5333 Thank you for your understanding. I appreciate it. Those are wise words. I believed all these things you mentioned---indeed, still do---but have come to realise it's not worth it. For me, at any rate. Better to take care of one's aged parent and sibling than give all to a person who'll flush it down the toilet when it suits them. But I encourage others, as I do here all the time, to have the healthy relationships you point out and that Thais teaches: it can be done and is beautiful. The key thing is to lower one's pride, meet each other's needs, stop hurting each other, and doing what is in the interest of both. I encourage others to pursue this. For my part, though, I'm finished with all this. My only sadness is that I won't have offspring, and when I die in old age, who'll be there.

[@PaigeYesLee]

Thais is So Wonderful 😊❤️🙏

[@worldadventuretravel]

This is why developing secure attachment is sooo important! Date enough DAs and you'll think there can't be anything worse than a DA. Then you end up with a narcissist, especially a malignant one. In many ways they are very similar, which is why I refuse to date DAs either. The only real difference for the partner experiencing the DA or narcissist is that the former isn't doing it on purpose, but the latter absolutely is. But while a DA will slowly unalive you through your nervous system and just the overall neglect, a malignant narcissist might actually unalive you physically. A DA can choose to do the work to heal themselves, a person with NPD can't and won't. Either way, it's a bad deal. Just keep working with PDS and heal your attachment style so you don't subject yourself to either one. The key to immunizing yourself against this and repairing your connection to your intuition is doing the work to heal your attachment wounding and your developmental trauma. PS. There's a predatory vibe when you get around someone with antisocial personality disorder, especially the psychopath-leaning types. It's often in the creepy way they look at you.

[@YamileYemoonyah]

She made this video to make sure people do not conflate DAs with narcissists, but yet there are still people that need to leave negative comments about DAs 👀

[@RubyLine]

​@@YamileYemoonyah It's not negative imo. Just realistic. Especially if you end up with severe avoidant ones. They tend to have the same pattern or behaviours that narcissists have, just that the intent isn't there.

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

​@@RubyLine you can find narcissistic traits in anxious and disorganized attachment styles as well. DA's are the least likely to be narcissistic. Thais has covered this.

[@YamileYemoonyah]

@@RubyLine DAs and narcissists only appear to be the same through the eyes of an unhealed AP or anxious leaning FA. Once you become more secure you can see that they are totally different. People should really first heal their own stuff before making hurtful and harmful generalizations about others.

[@RubyLine]

@@YamileYemoonyah I mentioned severe avoidants. And ghosting, silent treatments, emotional abuse, manipulation and the likes are typical narcissists behaviours. Some extremely avoidants also do this.

[@dl5054]

Good morning

[@micahbinns2740]

Im dismissive avoidant and im a high mach

[@DaveMcE]

Definitely more common these days.

[@jessklay8594]

Love the Halloween music lol

[@Sweetxy]

Hmmm... can personality disorders or the dark triad also differ based on their Attachment styles?

[@dentrout9383]

The Savior complex.

[@thomashilmersen711]

Good advice there. You look kind if Eastern European, btw.

[@nickus51]

I wish I knew all of this stuff about attachments and personalities way back. They should teach it in highschool. Due to my childhood I developed FA tendencies and grew into INFJ, which was already hard enough to deal with. Then I got involved in 2 back to back narcissistic relationships, which left me confused, questioning myself what the hell happened, what is wrong with me etc. The usual stuff. I was emotionally destroyed. It is then that I said enough is enough and decided to put an end to it. I started looking for answers, got in therapy to unwrap my own stuff and to explain the psychology of what was going on. At first we dived into childhood, attachments, inner child healing. However, the moment a therapist said to me "You are showing clear signs of someone who was abused by a narcissistic person", after a few sessions in, it all started coming together. Now, 2 years later, I am in a much better space. However I still find it hard to trust people.

[@TheAlixir]

What has been happening to me these past few yrs was not a DA which I’ve been thinking this entire time…. I’m still so shook I can’t even or know how to explain it. Basically he’s a porn star. He was filming minutes before I’d get there. I can’t breathe.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

you knew this about him & continued seeing him? do you understand the sheer amount of STD's those type of people are exposed to on a daily basis? smh. if I were you, I'd go get STD tested YESTERDAY.

[@jwgardner6]

Can someone be all three of these or have traits from all three?

[@worldadventuretravel]

Yes, that's the definition of a Dark Triad.

[@rorymills271]

who would want a modern woman with a body count over 10 or 20 its literally just your turn and your not even lucky your one of many.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

say it again.

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

Are you okay with men having the same body count? Also, why are people so hung up on this? If you both get tested and are disease-free, why do people care who their partner slept with before them? It's just sex. Something everyone does in and out of relationships.

[@rorymills271]

@SunshineAndSnowflakes more bodies, the more impaired your ability to pair bond is with girls especially it's basic human biology that's why they go from one guy to the next

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@SunshineAndSnowflakes "If you both get tested and are disease-free, why do people care who their partner slept with before them? It's just sex." --- because cancer-causing HPV can't be tested for & many other STI's also can't be tested for & can go asymptomatic for years before resurfacing. many STI's you CAN still get with a condom on. so if someone has 100 bodies, they are likely ridden with diseases they or you don't know about... its disgusting, its unsafe, its irresponsible & is usually a huge red flag & a telltale sign of abuse, or a person with low morals & self esteem that doesn't value themselves or the people they sleep with. disease-ridden prostitutes, porn stars & promiscuous women have been branded with the scarlet letter since the biblical days for a good reason.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life "If you both get tested and are disease-free, why do people care who their partner slept with before them? It's just sex." --- because cancer-causing HPV can't be tested for & many other STI's also can't be tested for & can go asymptomatic for years before resurfacing. many STI's you CAN still get with a condom on. so if someone has 100 bodies, they are likely ridden with diseases they or you don't know about... its disgusting, its unsafe, its irresponsible & is usually a huge red flag & a telltale sign of abuse, or a person with low morals & self esteem that doesn't value themselves or the people they sleep with. disease-ridden prostitutes, porn stars & promiscuous women have been branded with the scarlet letter since the biblical days for a good reason.