KennieJD Reveals Why John Carter Was Disney’s Biggest Flop EVER | In Defense Of Episode 16

This is In Defense Of! Step into the courtroom of the Honorable Judge KennieJD, where she presents the cases of poorly-rated flicks and box-office bombs to determine whether or not they are truly guilty of the sentencing they received! Episodes release Thursdays at 2PM EST.
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[@anissab.7260]

"I got 2 degrees. This is embarrassing" Literally me anytime I attempt to read a basic children's story yet I'm struggling to pronounce the words correctly

[@loritheghostpainter6722]

Edgar Rice Burroughs making the protagonist of "John Carter" a confederate soldier isn't surprising. Burroughs was a strong supporter of eugenics and believed people of African descent were inferior. He's one of the most celebrated racists in American literature.

[@Tareltonlives]

And you'd think an adaptation would really try to update that

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

And to think I enjoy his work as much as I do....SAD.

[@kimberleysnagg4215]

@@Tareltonlives I think they tried to some extent---they had Carter unsuccessfully try to desert the confederates over and over at the start of the movie...

[@Tareltonlives]

@@kimberleysnagg4215 I thought that was the US army?

[@Tareltonlives]

@@kimberleywilliams7802 Same. Like Lovecraft and Rowling, Burroughs is a guilty pleasure

[@hander929]

This feels like one of those movies that possibly might have been a money laundering scheme. Like they put all that money into it and then it was like they didn't want people to know about it.

[@ms.marvelous8156]

I feel like this came out during a time when Disney was just trying anything to get an audience beyond the cartoon lovers. Like the pre marvel, pre Star Wars days.

[@sugelite5068]

You are correct, disney was filming john Carter in the middle of negotiations to buy marvel

[@MrRorosuri]

I laughed out loud seeing kennie struggle with the names. My sides nearly hurt 😆

[@bexxycat2890]

I love the name strugge! But I replayed the Transhuman bit in the Jupiter ascending video so many times 😅

[@gimmebackmyarm]

Transhuman sent me

[@saininj]

Holy crap, someone remembers this movie. I swear, I almost believe I just made it up because no one knows what I'm talking about when I bring this up.

[@0912sooli]

I am from Russia and I actually remember this film being advertised pretty well, like I actually heard of it and thought it was big movie. I never saw it though lol. Im not surprised that it was big in Russia, people loved Hollywood blockbusters here idk... And no there is no Russian folklore in it😅

[@svinjamaria]

I will say that I was actually, as a ADHD child, traumatized by how long and boring the movie was. I still remember very real scenes in my head of the most boring parts where I thought I was actually going insane as a 10 year old

[@lumenx7499]

Go live in a third world country

[@peyton4425]

I felt this way watching Old (MK Shyamalan). I was so bored that I had tears in my eyes and I couldn’t leave the theater cus I was with my family

[@Tareltonlives]

I really wanted to like this one, but the script just slams like 3 novels all together, and Taylor Kitch is HORRIBLY miscast and acts as a charisma vacuum. It has so much potential to be something like DUNE or Star Wars (both of which were influenced by the original novel. But man, what a mess.

[@serenityq26]

john carter is better than any of those boring films

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

the role was so poorly acted it's inSANE he has about as much charm as a cabage.

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

@@serenityq26 take that back rn-

[@Tareltonlives]

Like those who hadn't read the book are going "what even is going on" and the people who read the book are going "the book did it better" . And yeah, the book is stilted and dated and has terrible racial attitudes, but those can be fixed (Want John to be ex-CSA? He could be Cherokee- that would add some more layers to the character since the Cherokees adopted Southern culture to fit in even though they lost their own homeland in the process. Or simply make him from the Union- sure, the theme is looking for a new country, but that easily applied to the Irish and German immigrants and free blacks) . The changes made here same some good (more Woola, Deja's education in science and war is actually implemented) but mostly the incorporation of both the meta commentary and the Therns from the later novels makes it convoluted and contrived as well as anticlimactic. And this might have still been dumb fun if Taylor Kitch didn't have the likeability of wet lettuce

[@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq]

I watched for the abs but I could even finish the film. So much ootential, the whole aesthetic tho was mwaaa

[@starryeyed110796]

i remember watching this movie a lot with my brother. it gave me dollar store Avatar vibes, and I remember tolerating it mostly because i thought the main actor was hot, but goodness gracious his acting was/is subpar.

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

same LOL

[@michellem.1749]

yeah that's the only reason I ever saw the movie was because of the lead actor was hot as hell.

[@harlowe8691]

Kennies never ending conflict against the entire genre of sci-fi will never cease to amuse me bc girl same. I feel so seen

[@Jacquer68]

Jon Favreau was slated to do this, but bowed out to take on Iron Man. Somewhere in the Multiverse, there's a whole-ass Barsoom series, and no MCU.

[@Tareltonlives]

I wish we lived in that timeline

[@afterly]

everything is Jon's fault 🤦

[@Jacquer68]

@@Tareltonlives there are some 3-d designs of his version of the Tharks, and even a 3-d mock-up of a fight between John and a Green Martian (I think one of the Warhoons) somewhere in the bowels is the internet.

[@DesolatedChild018]

Jon would have made the sands of Mars hyperrealistic. There would have been fur glow on those Martian Apes.

[@thebaccathatchews]

The main problem with this is the story is so old it set *all* the tropes used in future science fiction. Adapting the source of tropes makes it seem generic. I liked it well enough.

[@Geospasmic]

It's a carcass totally picked clean for inspiration.

[@elsagreen1476]

I completely agree. I feel like there could be a way to make a movie like that work, but it needs to be self-aware in some way. Not like this...

[@burneraccountforthewin]

I thought I dreamt this movie. It's like a weird fever dream

[@emmettbattle5728]

no fr tho i see reviews on it and ik i watched it but then as soon as the video is over its like my mind is blank again

[@BrookeKnits]

Same and I remember liking it. I need to watch it again

[@AngeltheAnswer]

This movie is bonkers and smells of 2000’s writing but got damn it still looks pretty

[@AngeltheAnswer]

And I mean 2000’s in a bad way

[@wtfaiwpodcast]

God bless Kennie for doing everything she can to try and make it entertaining in the parts where she's just reading the wikipedia page.

[@grapeshot]

To be honest with you I didn't think it was all that bad of a movie I've certainly seen worse. And George Lucas said he got a number of ideals from Star Wars from the novel.

[@Illyrian5]

I watched it for the first time a few months ago. The only expectation I had going in was that it might be on par with what I'd heard about Jupiter Ascending. I was pleasantly surprised that this one had pretty decent plot and characters for what I consider to be a popcorn flick. I'd put it on again for something to watch while getting house chores done but I probably wouldn't ever sit down and "watch" watch it.

[@DesolatedChild018]

Which Star Wars idea George didn’t got from somewhere else. I’m a fan, I think it’s his greatest merit, but from 40s Buck Rodgers serials to WWI and WWII movies, to Akira Kurosawa…

[@Geospasmic]

Imagine thinking that spending 300 million on a new property that isn't transformers in the early 2010s will possibly make a profit. The books have inspired so much better fiction over the years that pretty much all the flavor has already been extracted from them and there's nothing interesting left.

[@thebaccathatchews]

The Asylum made the mock-buster version called A Princess of Mars starring Antonio Sabato Jr and Traci Lords.

[@RocketNinjaSlap]

I remember seeing this in theaters when it dropped literally because I was like thirteen and I skipped school that day and all my fun school-skipping plans got delayed because the movie theater didn't open until like 1pm and this was the first PG-13 or lower thing showing. No recollection of the actual viewing experience besides that context.

[@MissJuliaNash]

Taylor Kitsch was also in the 2006 movie The Covenant which is another movie that had questionable reception upon its theatrical release.

[@staceyshere]

I realize none of his movies do good 😐😐😐

[@muyo77]

I have friends who were big fans of the book series and they had no idea that the movie had come out.

[@gatorchica2012]

Can you add Mars Needs Moms to the list? I just remember it being another huge box office bomb and money loss for Disney around the time of John Carter

[@roselover411]

The only "John" movie I know is "John Wick." Which sounds like a much superior action flick.

[@Rawadaneth]

The C in Ciarán is a hard c because it's an Irish name. We don't have the letter k in Irish

[@emilycrewe3794]

I watched this movie on a plane on the tv of a guy sitting a row ahead of me in the adjacent aisle. Not because it looked interesting, but because I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what the hell the plot was. The transition from Civil War era to crazy jumping on some sort of desert planet is very confusing without audio… …to be fair, I think it’s probably pretty confusing with audio also.

[@shelbythisisaresidentialar5397]

I remember my English teacher showed this in class,,, he said it was really good 😭 it's a good thing he was rich and attractive or else I might've judged him harder on his opinion

[@morgangreen8777]

oh god i completely forgot i actually watch this movie around 2012-13 but i did not remember until kennie started explaining the movie. the movie was so forgettable. i still dont remember it fully. i just remember it being boring

[@patriciaduke5169]

I was thinking the same thing, “Where the hell is all this money coming from?” SOME PEOPLE have all the space and resources to experiment. Interesting 🤔

[@JayJay-17]

I remember as a kid I was eating when I was watching it and I couldn’t finish my food cause there were scenes that were just 🤢 to me. I will say the ending did stick with me.

[@wedontfitin]

The intro of this video made me follow instantly! 😂

[@tegztegz]

I think this movie would have done better if they actually put effort into marketing it. It wasn't advertised anywhere in my country, and this is from the perspective of someone who worked in a cinema.... No standees, bare minimum posters and trailers, no merch to speak of.... I really do think that it would have done better if it had been put in front of people and hyped

[@agutierrez4328]

You should really do the trio of Mars movie flops: one year saw Ghosts of Mars, Mission to Mars and Red Planet

[@selinaw.9751]

A John Carter of Mars KZbin ad is how I discovered the musician Celldweller. Didn't see the actual movie until maybe last year when I was urged to by my spouse.

[@carin1000]

It felt like a lot of movies squished into one. There's the regency feel, there's the western feel, there's the 80s Sci-fi feel, there's the more modern Sci-fi feel and then the jumbled timeliness just stirred all that up. And all the groups seemed unconnected except for when they randomly had beef. Also those civilizations didn't really seem to be hurting after a 1000 years of war. No one's resources looked depleted, no one looked hungry, so what was the urgency about.

[@alexis-marie_9920]

Taylor Kitsch was too fine for this movie to flop edit: Maybe im biased cause he portrayed blorbo from my shows aka Gambit

[@minyoongi6039]

I found this movie to be as mindlessly entertaining as any Fast and Furious installment. There was potential for a good movie, but... yeah.. it's no "cult" classic.

[@l.1586]

My brain keeps wanting to autocorrect John Carter to John Tucker for whatever reason 😭😭😭

[@duaneswab4659]

Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote the Barsoom series and Tarzan. In 1912 A Princess of Mars came out and revolutionized the Science Fiction genre. Hilariously critics called it "derivative of Dune, Star Wars, or Avatar" but the Intellectual Property inspired the other 3! Sadly, Disney shot themselves in the foot by changing the title from John Carter of Mars to simply John Carter because "movie referring to Mars never succeed at the box office". Mars Needs Moms failed a few weeks before John Carter premiered. I attended a sparsely populated theater on the opening Thursday and adored the film. I encouraged my friends to join me two weeks later and the movie was no longer playing in Chicago except at Piper's Alley downtown.

[@emilyau8023]

The "Virginia" line was hilarious though

[@se5922]

my childhood nostalgia getting ruined pt 35

[@rhiannajd4412]

I was 13 when this came out and I do not remember it being in theaters AT ALL

[@cautiousgalaxy4613]

I didn't know this movie existed till now. I'm sure I'll forget it in about 15 minutes

[@Blue_Lunacy]

I have heard about this movie and I am in Bangkok, Thailand. Granted I saw the trailer in the weekly entertainment news program on the local cable TV.

[@Mario_Angel_Medina]

The lack of marketing for this movie makes me think that Disney made the movie out of obligation, it was the pet proyect of the _Finding Nemo_ director, they had no idea of how to market it so they didn't even try. I mean, they dropped the "of Mars" part of the title because is kind of common wisdom that the general public 90% of the times ignores movies with "Mars" on the title, because they associate it with cheessy or schlocky B-movies... so why even make a movie about Mars then?!! This is what I think happened: the director of _Wall-E_ convinced the money-men at Disney by saying "this is the book that inspired James Cameron's Avatar" but after the movie was finnished, they reallized that there was no way of market it without admiting that they made an Avatar knock-off so they just give up

[@mysdate]

this movie is so weird. my family were annual passholders when disney actually cared about annual passholders and they got perks, and we got like, tickets to get to go to a special screening to see this film. we went to MGM studios (now disney hollywood studios) and had to go thru the wardrobe from the lion the witch and the wardrobe and walk through the wintery area in that film to get to the theatre and there was a whole backlot area. they confiscated our phones and bags. we got special concept art and everything to see this film and there was like a lot of background information about the CGI and development of this film. it was wild. i cannot remember a DAMN thing about this film.

[@instantromy]

I would watch "Jupiter Ascending" over this because the former is just so funny to me. Eddie Redmayne whisper yelling. 👏🏽👏🏽 "I love dogs." 😂 This one is just frustrating because it could have been really good. There was meat in it. 😮‍💨

[@itscjrodgers]

I distantly remember a few trailer on youtube but I might be mixing it up with the Prince of Persia trailer...

[@audyshtpostshere4708]

i really thought this movie was something i dreamed up until now. im glad to know that im not responsible for this 💀

[@Redabook7]

This movie left such a strong stain on me and my family after watching it that to this day we use it as a measurement on how bad a movie can be below 1 on the 1 to 10 scale. It's just that atrociously boring that when judging other movies we try to find any good excuse to avoid saying we'd ever watch John Carter again over the one being reviewed.

[@Gingermermaid90]

Haven't even watched this yet but kennie in that purple shirt is sending me 😍

[@isabellacook2092]

this was my favorite movie as a kid 😟

[@elektraeriseros]

Every time this came on TV, I watched in an effort to finally figure out what the fuck this movie was about. Fruitless endeavors. All of them.

[@user-gu5ig6zy3i]

i think the only reason i knew this movie existed was because taylor kitsch was in friday night lights (show, not movie), which i did watch, and is actually good lmao

[@Britnatural]

I really liked this movie, but then again I liked after earth... Space movies are my jam

[@305JustMe]

Not gonna lie, this was a struggle to get through 😂 Clearly for us both

[@patriciaduke5169]

Also to hell with these colonization fantasy movies😂

[@sanarangwala4279]

I watched this movie all the time as kid. It’s funny cause even as a like six year old I would wonder if we cut off the first part cause it feels like it starts in the middle

[@HezzahVee]

When u were naming the different plants and alien names it honestly sounded like simlish

[@marquisehebbler9471]

Broooo, I used to get this movie confused with Sands of Time and coincidentally hate both

[@curnies]

*slams my miniature gavel replica excitedly* More Butter blessing us with the uploads 👌😩 thank you for the review Kennie. have never seen this film but all I can say is. Literally what and why

[@MoreButter]

Glad you like them Courtney!

[@hannahpealbanana]

With out reading the books the movie is terrible but if you read the books it is really cool to see some of the characters depicted. They did not do the story justice though. Then again John Carter is a confederate soldier sooooo they should have maybe left this story alone

[@Tareltonlives]

Eh, they could just make him a US army vet. Hell, you can make him a native American or freedman. That's the beauty of adaptations

[@chiefzombie9184]

I saw this shit in theaters in practically an empty theater with just me and my dad when I was 11. Due to this, knowing full well how bad it is, I still look back on it and watch it fondly to this day. It's certainly not great, but there's still something fun about watching it, idk.

[@MrRorosuri]

I love this mess of a movie 😆. He's cute

[@allye9865]

I thought it was a Tom Cruise movie? I was so wrong lol

[@roslynys]

why did i think you were talking about prince of persia and didn't realize until you said taylor kitsch plays the lead role

[@alicia379]

I thought it was a lil campy sci fi book interpretation. Iconic. I really liked it when I was a kid. Very much bi awakening era for me, so that explains why. Today I see all its flaws and just can’t. It gave me the ick.

[@jazzy2093]

This was my shit, me and my twin love this movie. I wish they continue it

[@beatricemoreno7460]

I remember watching a syfy movie with a similar premise then watching this a little after it came out and I was wait . . . Why do I know this but . . . This doesn’t look familiar . Definitely big difference in the budget haha I think the syfy one the Princess was like a bubblegum pink skin and hair color. But it could’ve been a fever dream 😂

[@millierock9177]

you gotta watch "league of extraordinary gentlemen" it is my comfort shit ball

[@megstubing]

Kenny speaks Simlish for 26 minutes straight

[@thepeanutgallery9710]

I don't remember this ...

[@letranger4461]

Idk why but I always confuse this with Prince of Persia, another failed action film starring a white guy with long hair.

[@Gingermermaid90]

I was just trying to remember the plot of John Carter and then was like wait.... I think that is the plot to Prince of Persia. I definitely have seen both but ya.... same.

[@deviantindividual]

the way i don’t remember this movie AT ALL

[@ayanawth]

I remember commercials abt John carter on Disney channel but it looked sooooooo boring, that’s why I didn’t see it😂😂glad I didn’t miss out on anything

[@LordVolkov]

The 2009 Asylum version with Traci Lords was somehow better than the 2012 Disney 😅

[@arieslofi]

bro i watched this movie for my birthday when it came out and i fully forgot about it until right now 💀 idr shit about it too

[@justabookishreader]

I *vaguely* remember "watching" this movie around 11/12 years old? I say "watching" cuz I'm pretty sure my dad just put it on (don't know how, we didn't own it, maybe we had it on redbox? cuz it came out when I was 11?) and me and my siblings just were playing and lowkey ignoring it? I kinda wanna ask my dad now and then come back and edit this comment lmao

[@jinny8431]

Wooooooooooooo go girl!!

[@murrenkelly3866]

If you want another drag of a movie that’s a weird Western plus Aliens, check out Cowboys VS Aliens. That movie used to come on TV a lot and was pure background noise.

[@bbymoon]

My mom thoroughly enjoyed watching this movie. Which confuses me still because i couldnt get into it at all.

[@susannahlewis8464]

John Carter is one of those unfortunate cases of the thing that inspired the things we've seen for years no longer interests us.

[@duaneswab4659]

Disney also failed to advertise John Carter as the stated objective of Disney was to court male viewership. The Avengers also came out later that year and they purchased Star Wars from George Lucas for 4 Billion dollars. John Carter was no longer attractive to Disney and they didn't wish to cannibalize viewership from the MCU or Star Wars.

[@thumper8684]

The movie they chose to promote instead was "The Lone Ranger".

[@kayz9lul]

It’s sad because the books are awesome

[@tmntaddict]

I like how the comments are right over your face.

[@90sDRgirl]

People say Disney's biggest flop was "Treasure Planet" but I love that movie but apparently it was a big flop and a lot of money went to it.

[@jonramos3598]

He was able to jump high because Mars has less gravity than Earth.

[@PirvateerKurei]

I enjoyed the movie, it made me buy all the novels in the series and while it definitely took "liberties" here and there, the novels themselves are pretty long winded which to me makes sense why they took said liberties.

[@A_Gu]

I was going through the comments to find someone who doesn't think the movie was absolute trash and well... finally I found someone! I will admit, I even watched the movie several times. It's not the best, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I think I might start reading the novels too

[@PirvateerKurei]

@@A_Gu I stopped at book 5 because of work commitments, but the adventures are pretty good all things considered. I liked his other books: Carson Napier and the Moon Maid better though.

[@mariadicheva2795]

Hi. Bulgarian here, not particularly russian but I can say, John Carter is hella loved here! People still watch it on TV. I personally haven't watched it and it never sparked interest, but my bff loves this shit so so so much she always tells me how good it is. I can't explain it tho. Maybe the book is a bit more famous here.

[@aaronwilder2775]

Never read the books but I love this movie

[@gurm1155]

literally mark strong is the only thing i remember about this movie :')

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

John Carter, John Smith….is there a difference? 🤔🤨

[@Re-bo2uo]

I don’t know what the fuck this movie is about, I watched the recap three times and still don’t know the storyline. it feels like I’m reading a book (but I got dyslexia ) and I’m forgetting to understand the words I read. Very confusing and honestly it just hurts my brain.

[@gothamtruecrime]

Sci-fi and fantasy series should get a limited number of made-up words.

[@Therina83]

Girl, I only watched this video to support you and the channel. This movie is sssooooo boring. I kept zoning out when you gave the synopsis just like I did when I watched this movie back in the day.

[@kaceywade3604]

10:28 -10:44 Yes, that's the plot of JC. Amazingly simple yet so without substance, it's weird but something is so "oh thts happening now, and the scene is now boring."

[@alaijahlee2150]

I still love John Carter though, it's probably best I never read the novels

[@shalamander6065]

OH DAMN I only realised when I saw the white apes my national broadcaster used to play this movie on the tv all the time and it made my tiny little child brain very confused, through and through a clusterfuck. Thanks RTÉ for picking weird ass films

[@bloodlitraven6176]

I feel like if they cast someone like Oscar Isaac to play John, it would've done a lot better