A Karate Christmas Miracle: The Most Insane Christmas Movie Ever Made (Movie Nights)

[@KeroKaminaX]

the mass shooting stuff was apparently footage from the director's other movie that was based on the aurora shooting. so on top of everything else wrong with this movie it's also recycled tasteless garbage

[@feanenatreides]

I was going to joke that this looks like two movies spliced together. When it comes to truly bad movies, the best punchline usually turns out to be the truth.

[@KariIzumi1]

Wow, that was uhhhhhhhhh……..a decision he made 😬

[@BroiledBoy]

I worked on this trash! Hahaha….i was coming here to mention this but you already knew about it! How did you know?? Also, Eric and Martin should’ve been paid for this and I don’t believe they were

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Just discovered the same man made A Wrestling Christmas Miracle that sounds equally baffling, and was supposed to include Robert Z'Dar. Leading to one of the more bizarre IMDB trivia lines: "Robert Z'dar was originally cast but he had to leave the production when his pet mini horse was attacked by 3 pit bulls."

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Let’s be real. Karate Dad faked his death and was living with his other family for a year.

[@ughaghost]

Saw you tweeting about maybe scrapping this whole thing. I'm super glad you didn't. This video made my Christmas better. Thanks for that Allison. And thanks for bringing this atrocity to my attention, in the month of the Cats release, lol.

[@stefanfilipovits21]

I’m utterly baffled by this movie. I was given a ketamine infusion for pain management during a hospital stay once and that experience was EXACTLY like watching this movie.

[@PoochieCollins]

Almost spit out my mouthwash.

[@Djinsin]

“Who here thinks Santa is guilty of aggravating assault?” That is my new favorite line in any movie ever!

[@c-puff]

I read this comment at the EXACT moment the line was said in the review and I’m kind of terrified

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Judging by the movies in which Eric Roberts has appeared, I am beginning to think I might be able to afford a cameo from him in my home movies.

[@Fanimati0n]

He'd probably agree to cameo in exchange for a sandwich if we're being honest. The man can't say no.

[@MichelleAnnM]

I'm pretty sure I could afford to hire Eric Roberts to come over and do my laundry.

[@CsykKrit]

@@MichelleAnnM 😅

[@distance7721]

Alison, YOU'RE a Christmas miracle. I could not stop laughing throughout this entire video and I want to thank you for the 21 minutes and 42 seconds of joy you brought into my life

[@G0ATFAC3]

It's amazing how you can literally describe this movie as an "endless exposition dump" and yet still literally get no answers to any of the questions this movie raises. It takes some real movie-makin' skill to pull that off.

[@Dreadjaws]

Director: _"Alright, I have three bucks and a slightly expired twizzler for this movie's budget. Who can I possibly hire outside my immediate family?"_ Eric Roberts, materializing outside the window: _"Did you just say... 'Twizzler'?"_

[@blameitonthebubble5294]

Man Eric Roberts has never said no in his life.

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Hard to believe this guy shared the screen with Heath freaking Ledger once upon a time.

[@christianninsananda9626]

Looks like he literally Skyped this one in.

[@gingersnap6004]

I am 65% certain he chooses his films by title alone. The dumber sounding the better.

[@christopherjones5446]

Neither has Michael Caine or Christopher Lee. Sometimes acting is just a job to pay bills.

[@DocMarsTalesToAmaze]

Hey hey Oscar nominated Eric Roberts never says no

[@nikguimont8546]

This feel like one of those things adult swim would play in the middle of the night to mess with people only it’s real

[@theleap2946]

Holy crap that is exactly what it is!! Haha. Someone should troll this director and show him Too Many Cooks and call it left wing communist propaganda against the concept of “family” and he will honest to god make a Knockoff. 🤣🤣🤣

[@graemesmith6721]

Let me take a stab at this. The mother had no idea her husband taught karate and built gazebos because she's a female character in a movie produced by Ken Del Vecchio, a Neanderthal who makes no secret of his utter contempt for women (see his other movie, The Life Zone). In his 1950s mindset, women are supposed to be passive and subservient, and never question anything their husbands do. Hence, she doesn't assume that her husband's frequent absences meant he was having an affair, like any sensible wife would. Instead, she questions herself, asking if she was a good wife, because marital problems are always the wife's fault. And she unquestioningly accepts her husband's sudden reappearance after an unexplained year-long absence as a Christmas miracle, instead of demanding to know where he's been all this time and assuming he's been shacking up with someone else.

[@Tareltonlives]

The only reason I know Neil Breen didn't make this movie is because he's not in it as the star.

[@xjkappax]

because his face is not in the cover, that's the first hint XD

[@unexpectedcaveman6573]

And he's not the director, or the editor or the location scout or the visual effects manager or the set designer or the makeup artist or the lighting director or the transport manager or the caterer...

[@c-puff]

And yet I was still thinking about him during this whole review. He was here in spirit. Horrible horrible spirit.

[@edisonlima4647]

Also, no huge amounts of broken laptops being caaaarefully thrown to the ground during a random hissy fit of his.

[@ChristopherDraws]

Two things: 1.That amazing flat cap worn by the lawyer/professor/psychic. 2. The line "I didn't know he was a karate man". A karate man?! Instant classic.

[@MadScientist512]

16:30 "I felt like I was solving Sherlock Holme's shittiest mystery" is an epic burn! :)

[@RandoChrisYT]

So is this some Karate Kid Christmas movie? *20 seconds of fear, dead people, violence, and a knock off of "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt later* ..........Oh.

[@edisonlima4647]

I guess... not. Lol It is weird when reality comes crashing down over our rhetorical questions, isn't it?

[@Redleader001]

As a kid that really really wants that black belt, you would think that he could tie his belt correctly.

[@jagtaggart936]

Thank you!! Seriously that was driving me nuts.

[@Redleader001]

@@jagtaggart936 Yea man NP. I taught kids karate for 2 years and that was something that annoyed me. It not hard to do it but some had a hard time getting the belt to go behind itself to look like its just one seemless belt. Its just laziness from the movie's part.

[@kenthuang436]

He’s not a black belt nor will he ever be because he never earned it and his reasoning for wanting the belt is totally selfish and goes against every martial arts beliefs.

[@buzzkilljfk6719]

The only review on IMDB gives it 10 stars and says "Will Change your Life" and "This is the only holiday film you and your family will ever need again to fill your stockings with Karate Christmas Love!!!" Who to believe? LOL

[@SirChubbyBunny]

I mean, are they wrong though?

[@quinnzykir]

So basically, dad left for cigs and refused to come home until his son got a black belt from breaking balsa wood? Okay

[@BigEOT3]

Surprised you got your hands on a early episode of Cobra Kai Season 3 Allison. But all joking aside, you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

[@JoeServo]

I just watched this the other day, and I was basically completely baffled the entire time.

[@jessicasoucy6474]

This reminds me of Pocket Ninjas. Incoherent martial arts kid movie should be its own genre

[@TheHeroOfTomorrow]

Yeah, except (hopefully) its creator isn't a copyright-abusing asshole.

[@Tareltonlives]

It basically is

[@laurahertzman943]

Is it just me or does the "mom" actually not look old enough to be that kid's mom? She looks like an older sister, honestly.

[@ge2719]

The kids what maybe 12? She could be close to 30. The real quest is we're supposed to buy this overweight balding guy who writes terrible movies has a wife? He must have got her pregnant in high school, because he's a Homer

[@ParadoxapocalypSatan]

She looks like the daughter of the "dad"

[@BronzeBoy520]

Epic Hanukkah gift. Finally I can show my wife the greatest Christmas movie ever

[@brucegrossman3531]

What no slacks. Come on its Hanukkah.

[@DalekTheSupreme]

I really love the Apatosaurus Christmas sweater you're wearing. That's the true Chrismas miracle here.

[@quinnzykir]

I think the reason the movie is so confusing is because the director took the theater shooter scenes from a mass shooter movie he made and put it in this.....thing

[@quinnzykir]

He’s a horrible director. Don’t watch the life zone. It’s not a Christian version of the Twilight Zone.

[@dunes8817]

Yeah it kinda has a "cobbled from different unfinished movies" feel to it.

[@ge2719]

I think some guy who is a security guard at a cinema asked his brother to let him shoot a movie as a husband character to his brothers wife and son. As a pathetic plan to try get blonde woman to be impressed and go out with him. But then she asked him if her mom could be in the movie and he couldn't say no. The clusterfuk was born.

[@MagnaRyuuDesigns]

yeah but he used a finished movie of his to finish this train wreck

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

So Al Adamson style film making? "Biker films are not popular any more? Let's take our biker scenes and cut them into a horror movie! Not long enough? Cut in some psychedelic hippie-panic movie footage we have lying around!"

[@giuseppeianniello1998]

And we thought Holiday in Handcuffs was the “WTF they were thinking” Christmas movie of all time!

[@giuseppeianniello1998]

Seriously though, WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?!?!? THE DIRECTOR IS A MADMAN FROM SING-SING!!!

[@jeremiahalexander5513]

"I dint know he was a karate man.." OMG 😂😂😂

[@Kat-xt9wh]

I cannot express how much I love all of your content. It makes me incredibly happy to watch someone talk about awful movies from a place of genuine amusement ❤❤❤❤

[@briangrubbs6746]

Great review as usual, but one thing that I would want to point out is that the "carnival" that you mentioned in the review behind the clown is actually a photo of Six Flags New Orleans/Jazzland post-Hurricane Katrina (as you can clearly see a destroyed carousel and what used to be the Marvin the Martian-themed playground in the former Looney Tunes Adventures area) superimposed into the background of the green screen the actor was on. Other than that, keep on giving entertaining and funny reviews Allison and I hope you have a merry Christmas this year.

[@c-puff]

Wait what the fuck?

[@briangrubbs6746]

​@@c-puff The Six Flags New Orleans/Jazzland picture green screened in the background is featured primarily during the movie theater scene, but most prominently at 12:34.

[@kirbichu54]

It's been way too long since I've been this baffled at something like this getting made. Thank you for this Christmas miracle

[@mauricedevereaux6573]

Watched this last night and was also "gobsmacked", thank you for articulating in a humorous and entertaining way, the wacko levels of sheer insanity this film reaches, spread out among the endless boredom of the dialogue scenes. Just surprised you did not mention applesauce...:)

[@MyssBlewm]

This was a great video to watch as I procrastinate on my gift wrapping. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Allison!

[@Orandommeteredclock]

Come for the movie review, stay for the holiday make-up glamspiration! 😍

[@stoves5877]

when I woke up today I didn't think I would be laughing at movie that has a mass shooting as major plot point. Thank you this was hilarious

[@Torgospizza930]

I'm so glad there's now an actual review of this movie thats actually worth watching

[@weirdandproudofit1]

I desperately needed to be cheered up and this review did the job and should keep me going all through Christmas. You're a gift x

[@majkus]

After seeing this review, I looked up in IMDB. Seems that Del Vecchio also inflicted a film about a teenaged autistic savant MMA fighter, "The Savant (2019)" on the world (with his son apparently in some oddly named role again). The trailer is on KZbin, and looks almost like a parody of an action-drama film.

[@lagozzino]

I feel like I just absorbed a virtual encyclopedia of information about this movie and couldn't tell you what the plot was if I tried

[@Otacon3480]

Holy helll. This exists?

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Sadly, yes...yes it does. These are dark dark times.

[@bongchoof]

17:57 is one of my favorite moments from any of your videos. It's so great.

[@Jamhol3]

That kids sassy reaction shot is just pure gold.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Does the entire film look like it was filmed on mall security cameras?

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Well, either security camera footage or amateur porn. It could be either one.

[@PresleyRoxy]

I don’t even know where to begin with this one.... 1. Did anyone involved with this movie ever question the down right disrespectful that some of the plot points are? 2. Was the actress that played the mother high out of her mind during this movie? Because she’s either an awful actress or consumed a copious amount of edibles while filming this movie? Or is nothing? I’m so confused.

[@ge2719]

She's doing it as a favour to her brother in law who's making the movie and she got to see her lines about 5 minutes before shooting her scenes. Don't be too hard on her :p

[@SoloDoloSpaceman]

The psychic lawyer sounds like she’s squirted a bunch of Orajel in her mouth.

[@mikekz4489]

Goofy martial arts movie and Movie Nights go hand in . . . mass shooting? What? I’ll never make fun of a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie again.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

From the clips, this looks like the ideal double feature with Fateful Findings.

[@Jayfive276]

MyMagnificentOctopus don’t even mention the Breen in the same sentence as this trash.

[@Hardman5509]

The movie that begs the question: "HUH?"

[@animetay]

At 6:25 to 6:30 reminds me of when Cool Cat was having a nightmare in his movie and was rolling around in his bed like a crazy cat man

[@rainbowthrustars]

Sorry for such a late comment. I totally forgot to comment and was about to look at it again now when I realize I forgot. This really made my Christmas I can say. Always a fresh air when your videos come out I can say. Never heard of this movie even but I can assure you I will find it and watch it hehe.

[@AllisonPregler]

Thank you!

[@PeachieAngelPrincess]

I’m so glad you finished making this review because DEAR LORD WTF WAS THAT!!??? I thought the tone was going to be like Karate Dog but instead i got karate-kicked in the WHAT department. 8:00 lmaoooooo 13:06 “Jesse dream calls him in heaven” ichiccuoovh; i can’t deal with this WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PHONE CALL VISION SEQUENCES im so confused sobsob 17:02 I’m getting The Room vibes lol...

[@SpongeyTheEditor]

I love that you're flexing on Brad.

[@brandonbarker961]

I'm glad you decided to feature this movie. Who cares who had done it first? What matters is that you do it better!!!

[@dreamlandnightmare]

The theater shooting elements make no sense because the director recycled that footage from a completely different, unrelated movie he made. Also, it should be noted that this is from the same writer/director who made a movie about pregnant women who are kidnapped to keep them from getting abortions. The kidnappers who force the women to go through with the pregnancy are portrayed as the good guys.

[@ottobaron6392]

If Ed Wood was making films today, I think they'd be a lot like this one.

[@mark6ix626]

When a movie makes you ask "who was anyone" and "what was anything" 🤣😂🙃

[@munkyzzb7504]

How did that kid get a black belt? He's horrible..

[@munkyzzb7504]

@@Talisguy That's what I was thinking.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

It must have been his development of his incredible sofa-fu style.

[@munkyzzb7504]

@@MyMagnificentOctopus Yeah I switched to that after finding my Wu-Tang style to exhausting.

[@edisonlima4647]

You made my Christmas with this weirdness miracle! Thank you, Alisson!

[@heathheitman1166]

The movie might be epically horrible but this review was indeed a miracle.

[@adrienjeffries1033]

All of the Eric Roberts scenes are from a different movie.

[@philliprudin5315]

The film is called Jokers Wild from 2016

[@SoloDoloSpaceman]

Phillip Rudin I thought it was called “Joker’s Poltergeist”?

[@philliprudin5315]

That’s the title on the cover but the actual title is Jokers Wild why they changed it I don’t know

[@Scribblerjohnny]

@@philliprudin5315 the more alternative titles a movie has, the worse it is.

[@c-puff]

I just started this video, but that sweater you’re wearing is AMAZING.

[@mostlymattmostly6424]

dope, glad you didnt trash your footage

[@OtterPawStudios]

Yay! Someone whose character I can respect is reviewing this movie!

[@seanmatyas3938]

Glad you got the bluray version, this movie needs to be viewed in glorious HD 😅

[@therealmanos]

Of course Eric Roberts is in this! OF COURSE! Ya know, Allison...I wonder if you could get Eric Roberts to appear in one of your videos? Patreon goal, perhaps?

[@SereneDancer]

What? What? Just like what? Love the review. Hope you have a great holiday season 😀

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

OMG it's almost Christmas And I'm daytime drinking And there's a new Movie Nights video! Perfect.

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Have a good Christmas, a happy healthy 2020, and thanks for all the great content Alison.

[@SirWilliamKidney]

Haha a happy healthy 2020! That comment aged well :P

[@Anonymousaggro]

Haven't watched the video yet, but your videos always bring me so much joy Allison. I hope you have a good holiday season and a happy new year.

[@eddieboyky]

This is like the Neil Breen Christmas movie that Neil Breen never made.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

A very discount Neil Breen movie since there's no aliens or government conspiracies :(

[@literosexual6541]

Yay!!!!!! You're Videos always bring me so much joy, just the intro itself makes me smile.

[@56postoffice]

This toyed with my emotions: didn't know wether to laugh or not. But that jumper made my mind up for me.

[@lotus-prince]

Hoo boy, Eric Roberts sure wasn't clowning around!

[@chavesa5]

A Movie Nights Christmas episode? But it's not.... oh wait yes it is

[@Ellthom]

"Who is this movie for" That's a question without an answer! :P

[@rodrolliv]

We can add it to the list of unanswered questions along with "what is brain" and "who put piss in my applejuice".

[@dunes8817]

Ooh, neat. Though I'm hoping you don't get too many comments from people who still think reviewer dibs is a thing.

[@jukkahurskainen5192]

When the shit hit the fan, i stopped following the other guy completely, even threw the snob movie in the garbage because fudge that ship! Love Movie Nights and you are one of my fav content creators! Hope you have a good Christmas and a great new year!

[@tamari9966]

I think my tree and my house could catch on fire and I could choke on eggnog right now and it still wouldn't be as bad as this movie

[@Enshohma]

Congratulations Lupa! You've discovered and accomplished the most uncomfortable and disturbing Christmas movie review of 2019! Plus, I didn't watch Brad's review so you win by the default because, yikes, this movie's so ill-advise I don't need to watch another review from anyone else! Thanks for your fun video work this year and all the best in 2020!

[@Level2Employee]

It's great to see the kid was multitasking and also received his black belt in Ace Attorney-ing.

[@BigBlackGuyReviews]

Kid: *Spends 10 minutes discussing different levels of karate belts, throws one punch* "I'm done." Me: Perfect editing 🤣💯. Laughed my knees off. I'm like six foot six, so I assume my knees are worth a pretty penny, in the Blue Book. 🤷🏾‍♂️ I'm so happy you're still making these! I also have to give you credit for being one of the few YT movie critics with a theme song I RARELY ever skip! Thanks, always, Allison! Hope you and Phelous have a Merry Christmahanukkwaanzukkah (I hope that covers it🖖🏾)!!!

[@ctkachuk08]

Calling this A Karate Christmas Miracle is like if they had called Episode IX the Rise of Rose Tico

[@wanderingbardagain6945]

Wow what a treat! Thanks for sharing this one with us. Looks like I've got a new cheesy movie for the Holidays... with Karate... or at least a couple of minutes of "karate".

[@gingersnap6004]

Oh my god my friends and I just found this movie and I’m so glad this is here so my frustration doesn’t feel so alone

[@RaccoonRevolution]

So somebody uploaded this movie to KZbin but used the thumbnail from this video lmao

[@andrewoliver7095]

Epic video, Allison. Not even I'd heard of this one.

[@fingalfingal7417]

My spouse picked this movie up last week and we boggled over it just as hard as you did! I’m so glad you pieced together what you did of the plot because we were equally as confused as to just what the hell was happening. I thought Martin Kove had just run off to live in the Bahamas but my spouse thought he was in Hell because the kid says something about it being warm where he was?? I had NO CLUE what Eric Roberts’ role was. I speculated this movie was made by aliens from the same planet as Tommy Wiseau and they were raised on a diet of David Decoteau films, hence his casting. I definitely came out of this with The Room vibes. I think this film is special and I hope it gets as infamous as The Room. I want to go to that bar the mom and the professor were always in! Also, I loved the psychic professor and I thought her class seemed fun. She was also the best actress in the film. I really enjoyed her performance, legitimately.

[@vabvaab]

surprised nobody from the future came back as an AI to expose government corruption

[@jsc315]

That would actual involve a script of some kind

[@trevorlambert4226]

"Kenneth Del Vecchio is a critically acclaimed filmmaker"-IMDB bio, which is definitely NOT written by Kenneth Del Vecchio.

[@TheLoverboyz901]

It's like Saving Christmas and Pocket Ninjas had a crackbaby

[@user-lb9xw4xf2q]

Karate Dad himself seems like a discount younger Neil Breen, which makes him a very cheap man indeed.

[@ericherstead9494]

ah Allison's uploaded i wonder what it's about first to minutes oooohh but any way merry Christmas to you Phelous and a happy new year

[@1000huzzahs]

They could’ve spelled it “Karate Khristmas Miracle,” ZERO OUTA TEN

[@elenaphisher244]

Riff Chick Karate Khristmas Mirakle?

[@slwalsh]

I’ve seen many psychotic bad (and bad psychotic) movies, so it took until the mass shooting details for me to stop, pause the video & rethink my life. 10 minutes. I....should be concerned?

[@Arrowdodger]

This is so mystifying. Like, I can't get past the idea of making her teach Sentinelese people online classes. Like, why?

[@LaNoLaCola]

Sweet! A nice Eve of Christmas Eve gift from Allison to us!

[@pathutchison9866]

Did she say “I didn’t know he was a karate man”? Did I hear that? Please tell me I have a brain tumor instead.

[@elizabethsullivan1894]

I'm confident there's a message in this movie. It's just as clearly defined as the message in Troll 2.

[@CVSubRailfan90]

Am I the only one who sees the main kid as Baby Phelous? Also Allison, don't worry about the Cinema Snub, he's not worth worrying over. Keep a chin up on things, you. Keep on chooglin'.