"My Property Isn't Normal" [COMPLETE] | CreepyPasta Storytime

[@collinfulling3223]

Monsters: *exist* Cole: None of you understand: I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with ME

[@forestsgachagarden4307]

He is GOD

[@forestsgachagarden4307]

>:3

[@UraniumVulcan]

Especially skinny, that little pale forest crawler is so wimpy

[@blythejones9347]

Nice watchmen reference dude

[@angiec4116]

LOL I Know Right Love Ol Cole Lol

[@gentlemanvaultboy8671]

"The supernatural keeps happening and it's really annoying me" is my favorite subgenre of creepypasta.

[@noahrudolph9066]

Mine too? Do you know others except this and tales of the gas station? Been trying to find some for ages

[@gentlemanvaultboy8671]

@@noahrudolph9066 I can't remember any specific stories, but John Dies at the End has the same vibe as this. As did Nightvale before it got all lore heavy and up its own ass.

[@Iijjccbb]

@@noahrudolph9066 the haunted doll roommate one is great hasn’t updated in a year though

[@Dead_End_Angel]

Same here, stories like this just tickle my funny bone, this kind of stuff is amazing as fuck.

[@mansikkapoika]

Same! Does anyone know if there's an actual genre name for that? :)

[@DangleBlampy]

local man literally too dissociated to understand the forces he plays with and unaware of his true strength

[@Venusvacumms_07]

Ah just another day in Florida

[@firstlast7294]

dxm

[@adri6304]

Loser Kid lol true!

[@Guardianshrine]

@@firstlast7294 dxm

[@FumeStar]

666 likes as all should be

[@killaklowngaming3088]

I’ve listened to this story about 20 times and one of the many things that never ceases to make me laugh is 52:27, “what do you think you’re doing with my computer?” “The fuck ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᶦᵗ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ˡᶦᵏᵉ”

[@francoisgrobbelaar8821]

22:50. One of my favorite parts is when Cole "falls" in the trap and shoots Camo, the crap Cole says and Camo's reaction cracks me up every time. 😂

[@anti_fragile]

may I add 1:06:07 , the way he says "all of his _toenails_ were _gone"_

[@francoisgrobbelaar8821]

@@anti_fragile LOL. Oh yes. Especially the pause in between "toenails" and "were gone". Cole is a legend.

[@mansikkapoika]

Same!!! The tone of his voice is just amazing in that line haha

[@GilbertGarfield911]

@@mansikkapoika that's mrcreepypasta's voice, he's really good at narrating. I've listened to this while doing whatever a lot of times! This one is super enjoyable for how funny it is while still being creepy.

[@joeswift7120]

I love how much shit he says with zero context like "I can't go to the one pond with big fish in it because of that deal I made with the crocodile man" Shits killing me hahaha

[@jimmycunn5414]

So casually

[@LamisonJamison]

@@jimmycunn5414 don't mind me just avoiding the crocodile man

[@ThatQueerArtist]

It's kinda like the shit doctor who does. He reminds me him Alot.

[@teacherbunbun9082]

Or some shit like the lady in the tree

[@user-kp8wn1iw8o]

KILLER CROCK FRON SEWER SLIDE SQAD

[@Vege-Table]

"Fuck you, I am a woman" In a deep gruff voice got me dying lmao

[@dragonmaid1360]

Was waiting for this bit cause you warned me but wasnt prepared. Laughed out loud.

[@barkingbunny2928]

I have a deep, gruff voice... 100% woman. All five feet of me. Startles quite a few people, especially when I say "Fuuk you"

[@rosewulgred4189]

not all women sound high in pitch lol

[@Vege-Table]

@@rosewulgred4189 as a woman with a deep voice, trust me I know

[@patrickrichards5043]

I was expecting. “IT’S MA’AM”

[@kaylieboucher2911]

Cole: imma do the thing Mark: don’t do the thing Cole: *does the thing*

[@benjaminjenkins2384]

Mark: OW Fuck why'd you do the thing Cole:idk man

[@smoldoodlebby634]

Mark: *is now "forced" to help Cole do the thing*

[@daddydiesel6315]

Cole and Mark are like a comedic duo

[@aquauniverse4403]

You pretty much summed up the second half of the story.

[@tylornicholson9357]

Cole

[@zyftis6927]

“But he insisted I was as observant as Helen keller, whoever the fuck that is” “A wave of, uhh, something, went over me” I love this story so much. It’s made me laugh throughout its entirety.

[@jennymartinez4597]

I so agree! I ❤ these irreverent stories.

[@grace7699]

Cole: I know I should’ve run but it’s tiring and I just didn’t feel like it I hate how much I relate

[@biggnuggetnuggers2360]

Ryol Xavier same

[@Tiffany9962]

I Said The Same Thing

[@banditodorito8070]

Yea I almost died to some fucking demon but runing is soooo tiring so I'll just walk from the crazy fucking demon

[@demonjmh]

Funny thing is in a real situation like that adrenaline will take over and you'll be running anyways.. tiring or not adrenaline will give you the energy you need to either fight or get the hell outta there

[@mooshimooshi500]

Yeah also just going camping after the fact in the same woods where this happened

[@DougDangerous]

“burnt myself trying to cook a hot dog, pissed on the fire that burnt me” is probably my favorite line

[@Donsguncorner]

"My territory bitch"😂

[@Just1Nora]

Such a man thing to do. 😂

[@Xbalanque84]

Hey, ya gotta show the fire who's boss. If you don't establish boundaries, it'll spread all over you.

[@TriAjden]

WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF *MENTALLY UNSTABLE PEOPLE!*

[@tuttifongul2006]

Rarely are the story and the narrator so well matched. Glad to have run across this.

[@cptnnemo8652]

If it not the narrator that is the problem but the tone of the narrator's voice.

[@Yamyatos]

Take a look at Tales from the Gas station narrated by him. Most perfect match i've seen so far. But i love his narrations either way. Never subscribed to a creepy pasta channel until i found this one :P

[@errorloadinginformation5429]

Another perfectly matched series is Accounts from a lonely news station

[@metalskirmish]

very well said, but you gotta admit man, this is definitely one of the better creepypasta channels

[@dull_demon4717]

Agreed

[@samnged]

cole and skinny got that tom and jerry type relationship

[@thekingofdoges]

I'd say more like Connor and hank

[@loger6995]

Dusty old Bones full of green dust?

[@Batatkacom]

The way I snorted after reading this 💀

[@allannapier1626]

Elmer fund vibe😂😂

[@squishyushi]

Literally skinny being Jerry trying to get a rise out of Cole and then toying with him

[@sharkycole4929]

"It was trying to intimidate me to leave its territory...so I shot it between the eyes and I left. My territory b**ch!" LOL

[@eslirastar666]

Literally what I would have been thinking in the same situation 😂 Lines like this made me laugh so hard I cried

[@jacob_ian_decoursey_the_author]

Real estate agent: This is good property. Me, a learned man: But is it *normal.* Agent: ...we should move on.

[@whimseywheat8003]

Good one hehehe

[@zomdiehunter115]

Me: wowowowo do I get free firearms with it? R: no Me: well let's move on then

[@demongoddess2012]

me: does it have a massive amount of monsters that i could challenge myself to kill and/or piss off when i fuck around with them? agent:erm... yes but they are no joke, there's wendigo, qelats, skinwalkers a- me:I'LL TAKE THE ENTIRE THOUSAND ACRES

[@mazzpsykoziz]

This really needs a follow-up season. The mix of humor and mystery is great.

[@libbybaker1375]

mazzpsykoziz if you think this is good

[@jewleeborrasca6924]

You're right this story is outstanding &so is "tales from the gas station" I even had to buy the dang book. If murderbird 17 releases a book I will also be first in line to order it. You can also go to Reddit to read more from murderbird 17 on this stories future well "Mark's" future anyways.

[@youngspunky2835]

Yes exactly it's so exiting when I first listened to this story I was trying to sleep but guess what the story kept me involved and interested so I heard the story before falling asleep. I love the way the main character explains the story its just great

[@mothlastname2413]

The “Tales from the gas station” series is very similar you should check it out

[@adamwilkins526]

If you like this one check out tales from the gas station it's the same kinds humor/ mystery

[@adriangrindstaff7296]

“I’m a monster PREDATOR.” Is my absolute favorite quote.

[@SultanFriendlyGuest]

I coughed out my drink while I was listening to that part

[@EclipseIsUp]

"you were a preacher? why were you in hell?" "i practiced the occult in my off time and skimmed off the collection plate" I had to pause the video.. i was crying laughing!

[@joleenphillips2415]

There were so many parts that had me doing this. Especially that one... And the part where he said, "I knew it wasn't a man because it didn't have an asshole." 😂😂😂

[@raniel.charming3415]

"I threw my leg into the air and it connected to his no-no-square" best.line.ever.

[@eliasmaldonado5426]

Ranie L. Charming Idk bout that. There were sooo many.

[@wooliervenus0998]

no no dont touch me there that is my nono square

[@YouAreStarDust]

woolier venuss THATS WHAT I THOUGHT OF AAAAAAH

[@aki8198]

Where is that line ?? XD (*•*)

[@wooliervenus0998]

@@aki8198 its a song but juicyfruitsnacks makes ot funnier

[@eduardolopez8616]

“...while he’s a monster hunter. I’m a monster PREDATOR!” Lmfao DEAD 😂

[@youngspunky2835]

I was almost asleep when i heard this and i almost cried xD then i waited untill the story was over to go to sleep :D

[@_shybear_7374]

4 years and I don't even know how many listens and it finally hit me that the Pales are afraid of nets because The Chosen kept catching and killing them, more than likely with a net

[@mansikkapoika]

Holy shit that's a good catch! I just always assumed it was a "wtf why" sort of reason to be funny haha. But your theory actually makes sense :)

[@_shybear_7374]

@@mansikkapoika I did too! I have no idea what made it click or if it was even intentional by the author but I love it lmao xD

[@allannapier1626]

Iam the same can't sleep well it's this one I go to bit end up laughing so much the wife gets so mad as I wake her up 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@salemblack1410]

"What's with monsters and running away backwards, seems silly... and dangerous." Cole, cole my dude. you're dealing with monsters and you're worried about them hurting themselves by how they run away.

[@titliroy4713]

Well the monster was running away from him tho...so yeahhh😂

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

I had to run through the wood quiet a bit years ago a bit and after the 9th or 10th time I got stabbed by a tree in the eye it made me wish I could run backwards.

[@ethelfiggins5761]

It's weird where your mind goes sometimes, kinda like you just don't know what you can actually handle and get used to when you dont have a choice

[@semiawesomatic6064]

"A nine foot tall Ronald McDonald ripping someone in half" this is one of the better lines 😂

[@thatoneniceguy408]

Hmmm that's doesn't sound right

[@naiomiyoung6770]

semi awesomatic best line is “ he stopped and said he was gonna go take a nap then come back to finish us off”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@eslirastar666]

My question would have been "Wait- Why does Skinny know what a 9 foot tall Ronald McDonald looks like??"

[@DeadInside-ew8qb]

I’ve eaten some McDonald’s that left me feeling that way

[@bernardlz]

Cole: "Maybe I'll keep trying to convince Mark that while he's a monster hunter, I'm a MONSTER PREDATOR!" Me: HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[@nostalgicuniverse9747]

Me too: HAHAHHAHAAHA!!!

[@gettingpissedoff]

I'm Chris Hansen and this is "To Catch a MONSTER PREDATOR".

[@chanelhammond1784]

Lol I laughed so hard.

[@biznestelch2941]

Right when I saw this it just happened

[@greywalker505]

Why don’t you have a seat right there?

[@c_x_3]

Honestly, as mildly disappointing as it is, I really gotta hand it to the author for sticking to his guns and not doing something unnecessarily epic. Yeah, Skinny being defeated by an epic battle would’ve been cool, but his downfall being a stupid inside joke between the two main characters honestly fits the story and it’s tone so much more.

[@Lobo0011]

@Xx-killerB-xX boi I was just about to say that’s why I love this story so much it doesn’t fall into the cliché monster fighting storyline

[@sharibigay4712]

Although Mark thinks that how it happened, Cole says he knew which was which when they both know that Skinny couldn't attack first.

[@thebizzareczar]

Absolutely agreed. This is what the second installment of Tales from The Broadcast Station did wrong imho, turned it into an epic and lost the magic of the initial story

[@90zillas4]

Gotta love when a monster can bite through steel and is terrified by a fucking net

[@herobrinevjwj]

Ikr

[@vibean9522]

It was really funny but i liked how it got justified with the woman in the tree having then use a net on multiple other creatures lol - the author did such an amazing job making all the jokes tie in seamlessly oml i could rant forever about it

[@DreamsofArson889]

Keelot:*Tries to use intimidation* Mark:"So anyways I started blasting"

[@cyberspark5574]

Keelot: *tries to use intimidation* Cole: "So YoU hAvE cHoSeN dEaTh"

[@juliangonzalez9631]

😂😂😂

[@laurenc4138]

I love and hate that I read that in Danny Devito’s voice lmao

[@KatTheNightfox]

My territory, Bitch

[@lukaswilliams5851]

@@KatTheNightfox what

[@RipzCritical]

"Uh, yeah, that's, uh.. there's.. there's a stud there." "I NOW REALIZE THAT THANK YOU."

[@Undeniably_Me]

T-Wrex ... LMAO!

[@calebfoster4855]

My fuckin favorite part

[@SomethingGoesHere0v0]

What was the time stamp for that? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@RipzCritical]

@@SomethingGoesHere0v0 1:18:00

[@eviltoad746]

As much as I love these stories being creepy and dark, this was just too much fucking fun to listen to. I had a blast while working with this playing in my ears. Favorite moments had to be Camo's nonsensical screaming after being shot, Mark suddenly turning into Dane Cook when the ghost took over (especially the "fuck you, I'm a woman") and my absolute favorite moment had to be "Not Mark, not me, not the Pale about to bite into Mark's leg while he was distracted.......oh wait. HOLY SHIT, MARK"

[@cherylchittenden4835]

Have you heard the one called "Cryptic Nightmares and the Great Squirrel Migration"? MVP does another excellent job! Soooo funny! 😂

[@jHS1226]

i’m actively at work listening to this too it’s so hard not to laugh

[@casualnobody8557]

1:19:52 "I threw my leg in the air and proceeded to connect with his no-no square!" OMFG XD

[@Behemoth9030]

stands with fist Deadpool level humour right there 😂

[@smiterakagrandpa]

I wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't said anything. Thank you.

[@Voodoodashtwo]

Stop! don't touch me there! this is mah no no square!

[@hockeyhead95]

stands with fist I screamed 🤣👏🏻

[@eslirastar666]

@@CasualFire Ooh I didn't even think about that! No wonder she didn't know how to react! 😂😂😂

[@2060useX8L]

This is more of a comedy than a creepypasta but it’s a welcome change. I love the “frenemey” relationship the author has with the monsters.

[@Mothbean]

If you liked this, for the love of god check out Tales from the Gas Station.

[@darkvortex2753]

@@Mothbean YES

[@SirRanRap]

Kinda like Army of Darkness kinda feel

[@jewleeborrasca6924]

I like that, you said that well.

[@nachomannate7755]

I honestly do also the love the relationship between the protagonist and antagonist

[@BluJay320]

“Uh... there’s a stud there...” “I NOW REALIZE THAT THANK YOU”

[@donjoe564]

That was hilarious, I love that ghost guy

[@jacksoncude9824]

don joe excuse me it was ma’am

[@donjoe564]

@@jacksoncude9824 Oh was it, sorry

[@Coontoons]

President Fennec HANDS DOWN THE BEST LINE IN THE WHOLE STORY 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@eslirastar666]

How he didn't die laughing in that fight was amazing lol I'd have been doubled over gasping for air! 😂

[@Jacksontosh]

I love that when Cole says Hector tried to kill him 3 times and Sonya says 9. Implying there were 6 attempts Cole accidentally thwarted.

[@iamghast3697]

The part with the stairs legit got me. Mark: ALL MY EFFING TOENAILS ARE GONE! Cole: DAMNNN, HOW'D YOU MANAGE THAT? Exactly how i would react too.

[@bjjbailey1465]

bro same My dumbass went "weird flex but okay." the best part is my brother was walking by my door, carrying something random (I think it was bubble wrap and highlighter markers), and just looked at me like I was the weird one

[@msjingles1]

I was laughing so hard!

[@BlackTemplar6th]

Cole: "I had to go up them" Me (who watched the search and rescue stories): "No bad idea" Cole: "I began to ascend" Me: "goddammit."

[@bandtrash3746]

finally someone else who noticed that!!!!!!!!!!

[@codyralston1372]

Yep.... I was thinking the same thing....

[@Deathmasterray]

Me too

[@pyth7305]

As was I this is great

[@pyth7305]

DONT GO UP THE STAIRS

[@wattrocks]

Cole's property is definitely in the same woods located behind Jack's gas station I have no doubt

[@nouse4name368]

would be nice if he'd mention an orange glow among the trees.

[@alexbradshaw5466]

And the town their next to is the neverglades

[@brittanypanda9348]

Jacks gas station?

[@wattrocks]

@@brittanypanda9348 "tales from the gas station." hilarious creepy pasta series if you liked this you definitely should check it out

[@brittanypanda9348]

@@wattrocks im listening to it now it is amazing i love it.

[@faebunny8239]

Holy shit, I'm only 10 minutes in and already this type of protagonist that actually knows what's going on is SO refreshing It's one thing to write horror when you have a protagonist that has no idea what's going on, but to effectively write horror with the perspective of a protagonist that's dealt with non-human entities before is really impressive

[@Master-builderemet]

Supernatural Netflix series

[@lavendervanilladepressioni5536]

The first entity that cried like a baby while cartwheeling away has the same energy as the guy doing backflips through the woods in the National Forest Search and Rescue series

[@heyitskaiden4178]

I know right!

[@electronicdestroyers8515]

And the stairs! It makes so much more sense about why you shouldn’t be going up them

[@DogOSaurus138]

Do you mean? Wild Kratts: Halloween Special?

[@lucy4diguardo500]

Lmaooo

[@yungthreesevens3952]

Its so satisfying to have a horrifying description with NFSR but a funny one for this story

[@richardvaldes3959]

"Hes a monster hunter but I'm a monster predator!" Hahaha I died laughing

[@gababby4856]

👌🏻Spicy

[@laurenc4138]

That was hysterical, this was written so well I could perfectly envision Cole as a whole person and I laughed out loud at the exploits a lot (listening to this at work)

[@MediaWebCrawler]

"Holly hell Cole, I seriously fucking despise you" the whole possession episode was probably my favorite

[@Bobhhhhhuufr]

Lol

[@bassoongal7879]

The fact the mc shot the keelet between the eyes because he felt it was trying to intimidate him and then said, "my territory, bitch" is hilarious to me

[@tiza6918]

Cole: "why not just say 'monsters' and 'ghosts'?" Mark: "...because people that named this stuff are nerds!" Me: I... I can't b-breath...🤣🤣🤣

[@igorkowalski2762]

thats what he said

[@ghoste1138]

I like to imagine he's living in the middle of the forbidden woods from Tales From the Gas Station.

[@Chase8091]

I mean mark is pretty similar to mark in TFGS

[@fischyfischy9960]

The gas station exists at a junction point of EVERY creepy pasta

[@corvid.monarchy4875]

The gas station is in Pines Haven

[@dakotafrybarger2671]

@@corvid.monarchy4875 is it really?

[@wolfwoodphreak]

I thought the SAME thing!! lol

[@kiera7706]

the tree lady made me so happy and then she disappeared :(

[@a-troller-on4chan421]

she is a dyrad, a tree nymph she is the tree

[@subjectdelta46]

Cole is such a silent genius, acts stupid when really smart

[@ParanormalTheology]

Dude, the person that wrote this needs to pitch it as a show, this is Van Helsing and Army of Darkness levels of legendary

[@yeahokkkay]

Mark W played by Bruce Campbell 😊

[@southface8838]

Lol supernatural?

[@justarandoscrolling8227]

So fucking true

[@avelynn7364]

theres literally only 1 Pasta that ALMOST matches this one and that is: My Friend Escaped An Alternate Reality.

[@jessekramer6554]

@Dark Star I think Jon bernthal or Jake Gyllenhaal could play this part perfectly. Bale could do it too, gotta agree with you!

[@TheMaritimeHorror]

"My favorite Bear Grylls survival knife TM" THat had me cracking up!

[@maxbyrne8062]

You gotta have your trusty bear grills survival knife at all times.

[@blowitoutyourcunt7675]

@@maxbyrne8062 His parang is a thing of beauty! Battle sharpened out of the package and great for camping and hiking!

[@rhondadills8275]

More surprised the knife survived stabbing a naked guy😁

[@youngspunky2835]

I actually might buy a bear grylls knife just because of this story haha😂🔪🗡️

[@rhondadills8275]

@@youngspunky2835 the only one my husband would even consider is the BG ultimate pro. He kinda wants it now but that's only because Survival Lilly beat the snot out of it with a rock and it didn't break. If you're going after keylets..?? It better not break😀...He prefers the Cold Steel SRK...BUT Lilly's knife looks good too...

[@L.h.1113]

"my territory b***h!" Made me laugh, I loved how he said that!

[@sometimesidreamaboutsatori]

i was hoping someone would mention it!

[@connor48880]

I wanna see an animation of this where he says that, and MLG sunglasses float onto his face.

[@coalcreekdefense8106]

I dearly love your "possessing ghost that doesn't quite have complete control of host body" voice.

[@thewatcher9237]

"I find myself walking towards an eleven-foot hole, trying to pretend not to see it."

[@Akiihito]

shit is so fucking funny holy

[@askaboutRudyV]

I was going to type this. Lol

[@jayjay-dh5ir]

This is how I deal with my life

[@girththeogre]

Team Rocket blasting off again!!!!!

[@lux147]

Interrogator- "tell us how you defeated the shapeshifter" Cole- "it was an epic battle of wits, I confronted him head on as the clock struck twe- Mark"he asked him how he defeated the tall man" Interigattor- and what did the shapeshifter say Mark- he cut of a tentacle Interigattor- and that's what he did so could he- Cole- I told mark I ran at it naked and it ran off Interigattor- ... seriously

[@mollybennett3291]

Mark-... that’s what I said.

[@futtynucker5278]

@@mollybennett3291 Cole- smiling in dickhead

[@leguisioso688]

Umm I couldn't understand what this was about

[@AshWont]

This should be a movie with Ryan Reynolds as the main character

[@MegaCornucopia]

Or Mark Walberg

[@t1meless-r3lic35]

And Nolan north voice

[@tinachristeen1306]

Go look up a guy on KZbin named PM. SEYMOUR he would be a good cole

[@JohnDoe-iw7zc]

@@MegaCornucopia no

[@JohnDoe-iw7zc]

Yes

[@OneEdgyAngerSniper]

“I remember that tree. I thought it was attacked by a family of 6-legged beavers.” 😂

[@mybackiskillingmebaby]

"Hm, might be on his bad side because I keep mooning skinny.."

[@lazyboi9982]

"Mark may be a monster hunter but I'm a monster predator!" That made me laugh so hard

[@gababby4856]

👌🏻Spicy

[@thatoneniceguy408]

Ima fuck up them monsters

[@the_lizardface]

The perfect story doesn't ex- Seriously this is the third time I've listened to this story... This week...

[@hopesanddreams2998]

Accounts from a lonely broadcast station AND Tales from a Gas Station are both amazing stories too

[@spcmartin420]

@@hopesanddreams2998 I hope they'll continue, though I heard season two of "Gas Station" is getting retconned

[@rachelricklefs9881]

This is like my eighth time watching this week

[@Niazi.Fitness]

Hopes and Dreams 299 what is tales from a gas station about is it scary?

[@hopesanddreams2998]

TheAsianGuyGaming It’s more funny than scary. There’s just some monsters and stuff that some people might find scary.

[@Madamwolfkissed]

4 years later and still one of my most loved series

[@lavenderotaku2481]

“My territory Bitch!” That got me. Among other things. Not even halfway through this, I hope The Lady In the Tree is okay!! My man befriended a ghost or a nature spirit or something! And I love her! - My new favorite line: - “I thought it was attacked by a family of 6-legged beavers.” **Laughs, thinking it’s a joke.** “..That lives down by the creek.” **Laughs harder, realizing it’s just random bullshit for the story that actually happened.**

[@soldierboy_4349]

Ur cool wanna b friends

[@lolasum_sumi_san]

@@soldierboy_4349 rip no reply

[@soldierboy_4349]

@@lolasum_sumi_san sad thing is I felt bad for this person for typing all that and only getting a lil likes so I said that

[@JayMagLam]

"My territory Bitch!" made almost die of laughter! The whole story was freaking hilarious!

[@lavenderotaku2481]

@@soldierboy_4349 Awh, I’m sorry this comment just got lost. Thanks for asking though! I didn’t ignore you I promise. Love your user and PFP!

[@420furby9]

Him: **hears someone calling mama** Him: *wack*

[@Believer1597]

All I thought when he said that was mully on yt

[@violent_knight69]

WACK

[@ozy.ancientmaw]

I’m gonna *munch*-I’m gonna *crunch*

[@Aquariun9iteMMare]

"I began scream laughing, not really sure why. Sometimes I think I may be really insane." That was read flawlessly and with perfect timing.

[@WV_Smoke]

I love the sarcastic attitude in the writing and how you read it out as such.

[@MatthewWest0037]

Did anyone else start to get a feeling that Cole would wander deep through the property and end up leaving the woods, only to end up behind an old, run down gas station in the middle of no where? One that had an attendant that looked really run down named Jack, that had similar experiences with strange creatures.

[@Ajexec]

Perhaps with a broadcast tower that can be heard with modifications to the Russian Radio?

[@jaycorbett7703]

Where can I find the gas station and tower 1

[@MatthewWest0037]

Things are about to get epic....

[@Rose-yj8ty]

Faxxxxx

[@MzSuzy2698]

Do tell about your monsters!

[@gachaautumn_wolfy1437]

This was the perfect mix of humor and terror eg: Him: the thing stared at me through the trees as if to say “my territory” Me: *shivers* Him: so I shot him between the eyes, it’s my territory BI*H Me: BAHAHAHAHAHA

[@hayleyannmarie1173]

This was like one of my two favorite parts of the whole story

[@applecider2754]

Hayley Ann Marie whats the other

[@laurenblue8828]

"I aggressively threw my flashlight at the bi*h"

[@poisonedflowers]

Definitely one of the best bits!

[@Ironically_Good]

Nah i think its overexadurated and it makes me cringe

[@MediaWebCrawler]

"I've read the stories, Cole. I know you've talked about this thing before. I'm trained to handle these kinds of things so don't worry about me because I'm going to *FUCKING KILL IT* "

[@gaysatan4565]

Seriously my favorite line. I could visualize that scene so we’ll bro

[@greywalker505]

Cue him getting immediately decked.

[@mileselon1339]

And then moments later starts Roman Centurion March towards the Skinny Mini Shinnie!

[@rsparks1104]

I just realized what makes stories like this so great- horror is built around taking agency away from its players, especially any that the audience are supposed to imprint on. So, if you write a story that grants a focus TONS of character, and TONS of agency, but keep it within the horror framework, hilarity ensues.

[@titliroy4713]

Mark: How did you scare the scary monster? Cole: *Laughing like an edgy teenager* I _am_ the scary monster.... 😂

[@bdpc-dk2xb]

Starting listen to this a few months back. A few minutes in I was like "oh this is lame" and moved on. Today it came across my recommendations again, I'm bored at work and needed something long to listen to. So I forced myself to listen to the whole thing. Holy shit, I'm so sorry, one of the best stories I've heard in a long time.

[@juliangonzalez9631]

Glad you came around. This series is FOKKEN GOLD, innit?

[@loganmoore8908]

@@juliangonzalez9631 I wish there was a sequel

[@DarkShadows713]

"If looks could castrate" holy shit this is an excellent story combined with an amazing voice actor. I keep returning to it. Hope there's more like it coming.

[@Blueklima9708]

Same, I keep returning to listen to this and other similar stories narrated by MCP like once a month at least

[@heathergoebel1676]

Cole mad me laugh so hard. The fight with the possessed Mark and the punch to the no no square. I lost it. Tears streaming and my side is killing me.

[@smiterakagrandpa]

The second you realize Cole is going around killing level 4 or higher creatures, AND is doing just fine. Is it just me or does he have god mode enabled?

[@stutterstep831]

Random Stuff the second you realize he killed a level 107 as if it was level 4

[@sorrenblitz805]

I mean it’s not impossible that’s he’s a mega badass. Some people are just naturally better at killing monsters

[@evilbankai80]

Skinny was probably raid boss lvl and he OHKO'd him with a net......

[@eslirastar666]

You just made me realize the author needs to make a part 2 explaing some of that shit! Like what was the last thing the ghost lady thought he could have been that was "impossible"?! Why was the Lady in the Trees so confident he could defeat Skinny?! And the whole Lucifer is planning a takeover of the world part! I think there's potential for a super action packed sequel!!

[@demongoddess2012]

@Stardust crusader. the occult girl is Sypha

[@LadyAndromeda1234]

I love the way the main character talks. This is hilarious.

[@CezaMVO]

As long as I don't have to pay property taxes, I'll live in this house

[@magicsnow3864]

Me to

[@justinmiller8925]

I would too but skinny would slaughter me on the first night he saw me cause of my anger isues

[@lilchekecorrea9816]

I would but probably last 2 not 3years

[@82dorrin]

I wonder if there's a weird gas station near this guy's property...

[@calebfoster4855]

@@82dorrin or a odd radio tower

[@YouWillBeHappyOrElse]

Only a few minutes in and I'm impressed with the VA. So many narrators sound like they're reading from a script, but you breathe personality and immediacy into the words; I feel like I'm in a conversation rather than being read to.

[@82dorrin]

I wonder if there's a weird gas station near this guy's property...

[@Behemoth9030]

Onyx1916 RIGHT?!

[@BMWIsetta-ex8gg]

Keefer is low key skinny😂😂

[@eulizesroblero8505]

Cabin in the woods reference?

[@ebrimambowe3030]

@@eulizesroblero8505 It's a reference to "Tales from the gas station", it's on mr. Creepypastas' channel.

[@SuburbanNinja-dt5rl]

It’s a good theory

[@EJsGameplay]

"The baby-doll spider is back!" The. What.

[@goldenapplesaga5446]

*_Run_*

[@TheWhiteDeath115]

I read this in master’s voice “The Screaming whaaaaat?”

[@Bettersucksaul]

You’ve never seen toy story huh

[@WitchyNectar]

I laughed so hard at this cuz all I picture is the meme. XD

[@DishonoredRat]

I gotcha fan ----------------------//\\ ---------------------// ¤ \\ ---------------------\\ ¤ // ---------------------- \\// -------------------- (___) ---------------------(___) ---------------------(___) ---------------------(___)_________ --------\_____/\__/----\__/\_____/ ------------\ _°_[------------]_ _° / ----------------\_°_¤ ---- ¤_°_/ --------------------\ __°__ / ---------------------|\_°_/| ---------------------[|\_/|] ---------------------[|[¤]|] ---------------------[|;¤;|] ---------------------[;;¤;;] --------------------;;;;¤]|]\ -------------------;;;;;¤]|]-\ ------------------;;;;;[¤]|]--\ -----------------;;;;;|[¤]|]---\ ----------------;;;;;[|[¤]|]|---| ---------------;;;;;[|[¤]|]|---| ----------------;;;;[|[¤]|/---/ -----------------;;;[|[¤]/---/ ------------------;;[|[¤/---/ -------------------;[|[/---/ --------------------[|/---/ ---------------------/---/ --------------------/---/|] -------------------/---/]|]; ------------------/---/¤]|];; -----------------|---|[¤]|];;; -----------------|---|[¤]|];;; ------------------\--|[¤]|];; -------------------\-|[¤]|]; ---------------------\|[¤]|] ----------------------\\¤// -----------------------\|/ ------------------------V

[@floramanzano4503]

I had to pause at this point for a moment becuase it made me laugh too hard. "mah territory bitch" XD

[@discountyoutuber6707]

Flora Manzano I giggled at work and got funny looks. Lol

[@expause6182]

Flora Manzano honesty same 😂

[@michaelbaker1508]

Same. I'm listening while working on my D&D campaign and I had to stop everything I was laughing so hard.

[@sarahgilmore834]

I laughed so loud i scares my cat!!

[@angelterrell736]

This is my all time favorite. Ive probably listened to ot 30 times.

[@mickistoneking1652]

My autistic daughter have loved creepy pasta for years. Whats best is when mother and daughter enjoy the stories together. Keep up the good work...

[@jjthorx3245]

I love Cole's reactions to everything he meets

[@tiffanykirk221]

I want MORE My Property isn’t Normal!!! This can’t be it!!!

[@regrackle]

Tiffany Kirk check murderbirds reddit, he is currently working on Coles backstory

[@pisnchips9556]

Tiffany Kirk have you checked out the story My Friend Has Been Living in Alternate Reality? Top notch wicked

[@tiffanykirk221]

Dean Russell yes! I have. I have listened to all that’s been posted. It’s a cool story lol

[@tiffanykirk221]

Mr Grackle HECK YES

[@LittleSis28]

@@regrackle LOL! I just realized you already answered the comment I just posted. Yeah! Prequel!

[@BamCastTV]

I feel honored to be alive in this day and age. Despite all it’s issues, the stories and creativity of this era astound me. I applaud each and every author that takes the time to write these wonderful and such unique stories.

[@joshlay447]

BlueGreen 118 the ancients are being given a serious run for their money.

[@murderbird1733]

I’m honored that you would say such a thing, means a lot!

[@blindedjourneyman]

Took the wordsout of my mouth.

[@DoomguyIsGrinningAtYou.]

k

[@chetzoeteman4789]

You got an unorthodox word choice kido

[@zeroskaterjjr98]

Even 4 years later this is still one of my favorite stories of all time. It's even batter than gas station to me.

[@notaxis]

"Stairs" me, who has listened to stories from a search and rescue officer; :0

[@obliviousgames3728]

Indeed bro I was like "ohhhh shit crossover event"

[@Axxtentac]

Dude aren't the stairs actually a real thing though? I swear i've legitimately heard people giving warnings to "not go up any stairs you find in the wilderness"

[@obliviousgames3728]

@@Axxtentac I honestly dont know

[@demongoddess2012]

@@Axxtentac from what i remember, yes they are. i went up some stairs in a wilderness and bad shit happened

[@MrvoidPasta]

@@Axxtentac Oh so yeah! Actually they are a real thing! After i graduated last year i got the chance to work through ACE as an intern to the great smoky mountains national park. I wont disclose what group im in for uh...privacy reasons. But during our 3 month internship we got to shadow and work every branch in the park! It was super cool, and i can confirm that all around the smokies and other Tennessee and north Carolina park's stairs are EVERYWHERE. Like seriously. But curious though, chimneys are also everywhere....like straight up. I think the freakiest one i ever saw was a chimney that looked in good condition but was seriously right next to a river...like no i shit you not this fucking thing was in drinking distance of that river. No foundation, nothing, just a sturdy somewhat mossy chimney right on a river bank. As freaky as those random stairs and chimneys are, the archeologists we worked with that week told us a much more mundane explanation. According to him, (an unnamed archeologists who works at the twin creeks research facility in the smokies) told me and the other interns that old houses and settlements were built typically with wooden or packed soil foundations, and typically the stairs and chimneys to these homes were the strongest, taking quite a long time to decompose or break down. Far longer than the logs and glass. Well Apparently the chimneys are also more well preserved due to the houses usually being built around it. Boring I know, but its still creepy as fuck to see a pristine chimney or random staircase in the dense woods.

[@thefogofanxiety]

"But it stopped laughing when I started, I began scream laughing-not really sure why sometimes I think that I might actually be insane" - 1:10:55

[@Debble]

Relatable

[@saali6860]

This dude is so cocky, and yet… he got so much personnality, it makes the story so alive

[@daddydiesel6315]

It's like deadpool

[@williamyates7679]

This guy is the best creepypasta narrator. The others got great voices like a natural gift for it. But this guy is something else no cheap gimmick the most average voice ever but his reading style is just soo perfect the way he speeds up and slows down with the pacing of the writing really makes the stories come alive and seem soo much more personal. Can't stress enough how much he impresses me

[@tunse500]

Girl, thinks about attempting at coles life -Cole: i might aswell piss it of a little 😂😂😂

[@Behemoth9030]

Fully expected him to call it short 🤣

[@majorlupus8358]

I enjoy how sometimes Mark’s voice devolves into a Solid Snake impression

[@Cutebear376]

devolves? i think you mean "evolves"

[@tylercoon1791]

‘Hrrnng....Cole, I’m trying to sneak up on a fleshgait, but I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the tangibles’

[@SuperGodzilla1974]

@@tylercoon1791 laughed lmao

[@tatiaromero]

I wish there were more creepypastas like this one with humor and sarcasm inside the horror!one of my faves

[@paran0rmality]

I know I'm waaayyy late on this, but "Tales from the Gas Station", "Infected towns Case files" and "The Neverglade Mysteries" are all pretty great and similar with the humor/story telling aspects this has, just in case you're still looking/haven't heard them ^^

[@stop.1003]

@@paran0rmality thank you for commenting this

[@unshelledbanana4426]

@@paran0rmality don't forget the radio station

[@arxink-pop6091]

@@paran0rmality also accounts from a lonely radio station.

[@talonsclaw9058]

@@paran0rmality You dear good sir have my like!

[@Just1Nora]

"Toes are f*cking expensive to fix!" Uh...no sir, they're not. You can absolutely diy that sh*t. 😂

[@DevilsRose]

Cole is very amusing.....and while I've never seen the movies I feel he acts a lot like Deadpool finding amusement in everything

[@StelaStratulatKasttela]

I was thinking the same thing

[@southernowl5014]

Anyone find it odd how hector goes from stereotypical nerd to a southern sounding preacher throughout the story

[@starbucksicedteawoman]

Pyro Maniac hector?

[@skullcandy_art]

Lil lamppost the leader of the chosen....? Hector...? The one that talked to Cole when Mark and his team collected the dog thing corpse? (I dunno how to spell its name xd)

[@starbucksicedteawoman]

SkullCandy Art LoL I forgot in the middle of listening

[@Tommygunns1986]

Maybe he was using his sermon voice?

[@princeblackelf4265]

I noticed, I think we were meant to take the character more seriously and he was older than originally depicted

[@purplecat4977]

I need this as a Netflix series starring Ryan Reynolds and Bruce Campbell. NEED IT.

[@Behemoth9030]

PERFECT matchup right there!!!

[@picklepickle1639]

@@finnmcool2 No, Cole is played by Ryan and Jack played by Bruce.

[@harpseal9234]

Agreed lol

[@jeremiahjohnson43]

AGREED

[@4shotpastas]

Yo someone send this to ryan reynolds

[@mjn6617]

That ending was totally unexpected, but in character and absolutely hilarious.

[@pixelized_cloudz7802]

The fact that Mark started to warm up to Cole made me pretty happy. They trusted eachother with the other’s life. And the way the real Mark sighed and said what really happened, it showed how kind of annoyed he was and it made me chuckle. Amazing narration, Mr.Creepypasta!

[@samashcraft6605]

Camo: *sets up a trap to possibly kill him* *Plan fails and camo books it, leaving the dude alone but it's now gotten dark* "I didn't get to see my dear"

[@demongoddess2012]

priorities

[@cleantrashcanog]

I literally read this just as i got up to this part

[@samashcraft6605]

@@cleantrashcanog noice

[@nuzzlepuff9162]

1:08:00 Holy Frick he actually met Slenderman. And it was hilarious.

[@sethbrown3245]

Nuzzle Puff I was thinking same thing

[@quinngemstone8123]

SAME

[@eslirastar666]

RIGHT?! That part had me dying! I was kinda hoping for some pedophilia jokes or something lol

[@demongoddess2012]

@Stardust crusader. does that mean slenderman used to be a priest?

[@hopesanddreams2998]

Eslira Star No no no. That’s Offenderman!

[@seaweebjoc]

"YOU SEE MARK IS ON VACATION RIGHT NOW AND I AM TAKING HIS PLACE." christ I love this series everytime I re listen 😂😂 mcp is an absolute match made in heaven for this

[@brooks3045]

Is this anyone else's favorite creepypasta?? Like does anyone else come back to it every now and then and have listened to it 5+ times??

[@jerimcmakin6154]

Yep. I smile the whole time.

[@bjjbailey1465]

Yes. This character matches the energy my friends and I all share. Listen to this any time I need a good laugh.

[@melissahagan7272]

I love it

[@l3xubuss]

Is there more to this? There are a lot of questions left unanswered

[@iriswhitlock2623]

this story sounds like it's being wrote by a stand up comedian

[@maxthedaisy2628]

GIRL HELP I'M LISTENING TO THIS WHILE DOING MY MAKEUP N THE DELIVERY OF "MY TERRITORY, BITCH" MADE ME POKE MYSELF IN THE EYE WITH MY EYELINER

[@M_4rta]

IM FUCKING SOBBJNGGGG

[@jasminewang77]

GIRL I CANT THATS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING ID DO

[@sillytosociety]

LMAO GURL ARE YOU GOOD

[@CatMandiano]

@@sillytosociety GURL SAME I WAS EATING SPAGHETTI, CHOKED TO DEATH, DIED. IM DED NOW. WHAT DO I DO?

[@Learn.The.Hardway]

SAME YALL; I MURDERED 4 PPL AND IDK WTF TO DO, LOLMAO, FOR REAL COPS HERE BRB AND STUFF. 😐

[@thechaosbringer858]

I was in the middle of writing an SCP and I accidentally sent the draft to the author of this (I meant to send it to someone else for critique) but he helped me out anyway. Great guy!

[@thechaosbringer858]

@Crotchwhistle Purple Oh it was scrapped...

[@hansorsic7387]

@@thechaosbringer858 F

[@Bettersucksaul]

How do you accidentally send a draft to a random author

[@thechaosbringer858]

@@Bettersucksaul I have like 6 different authors followed on Reddit and I accidentally DMed the wrong one.

[@thechaosbringer858]

@Lenin Sanchez u/Murderbird17

[@benjaminshiflett8066]

They should make this into a cartoon! Kind of like Gravity Falls for adults! That would be awesome!