MSSP - Matt McCusker: The Relationship Wizard

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From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 39 52 53 103
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#MSSP #MattAndShaneSecretPodcast #ShaneGillis #MattMcCusker

[@PutonyourSundayBests]

Never has a man blurred the line between idiot and genius as consistently as Matt

[@MangaCarta]

Dont be cute hes basic as hell politically

[@MangaCarta]

Nevermind I missread your comment yeah hes an idiot and has his moments xD

[@russwheeler3942]

@@MangaCarta right, he's white and not gay, so he's basic

[@MangaCarta]

@@russwheeler3942 If you don't think hes basic you probably have sub 90 IQ. I am white Christian and want non-whites deported so you are way off base here - even Gillis has to awkwardly laugh when Mccuskar fails to dogwhistle because hes not really on our side.

[@gopherboat1375]

Theo von lol

[@krazzledazzle304]

"She was hesitant, because I'm a lil tricky." god damn that got me good

[@ignorethismessage3424]

matt’s insane amount of honesty gives me so much life

[@iCookCrystalMeth]

s/o terry man

[@Boofski]

It’s an epidemic, I’ve looked at the metadata, no I’m not projecting

[@WizzlyBearW0rms]

He makes shit up all the time

[@swpost3]

To the topic of women crying: I have a friend that was a repo man. I use to help him out. Witnessed him tell a woman “I’m not gonna be bullied by your tears.” Ruthless.

[@_..-.._..-.._]

Patrice was a repo man?!? 😂 it’s definitely a bullying tactic. No adult should cry unless dying or losing a loved one.

[@styxrakash4639]

So based

[@GeoffreyBronson]

That's sick. It's so awesome when you make them turn off the waterworks when they realise it's not manipulating you.

[@CousinBowling]

​@@_..-.._..-.._cant tell if this is sarcasm or not but basically yeah.

[@micahvdw962]

My grandpa worked for cps and he'd bust out the "I used to take kids away from their families, you can't guilt trip me" on her

[@tonyreyes3780]

Matt is like if a pair of cargo shorts somehow became a person

[@Dinckelburg]

Matt is the cigarette stub stuck between the tread on your shoe as a human

[@deenicole1034]

N BBB🎉 jn n. I don't r

[@caseyschoenleber1760]

Zip off pants

[@barebonesjones]

@@caseyschoenleber1760too fuckin real

[@aidanmcomie9498]

Man that’s true man

[@sergeantnuke]

I love that Shane's crying voice is just Cartman lmao

[@XxLKTPQxX]

Man I was wondering why it was so familiar

[@vandogg14]

Same I rewatches south park last night and I finally figured it out lol

[@joenichols3901]

Matt: "I thought making my girlfriend think I'd been cheating on her right before bed would be funny" lmao . Definitely stealing the vacation move.

[@dimitrijekrstic7567]

Yea...no. that was definitely not his plan

[@nicholaswilliams7281]

It’s funny X Dr c cry ivcrcu d Not d Same as

[@sandworm9528]

Haha Matt's is a psycho

[@ZJQ23]

mckuskies went from j.o.'in to tporn out of spite for his ex wife to full nofap zen master. Hes full circle

[@FirstnameLastname-bn4gv]

The ouroboros

[@lucascumming4060]

He stared into the abyss, and it stared back. Matt didn't blink.

[@MArzzzKronik]

he still faps he's just noporn

[@JTBCP]

Our God is an Awesome God

[@stevenonymous82]

full circle would be going back to the tporn

[@babloescobango5143]

I'd love to hear Matt try to explain Warhammer 40k to Shane

[@justinbailey2347]

They talk about Total War: Warhammer in ep 304 but yeah, I’d love to hear their take on the Chaos Gods. Maybe Matt could throw in some Jungian Dawg Magick into his interpretation.

[@benmarsden2581]

Glad there's some 40k fans that are dawgs too

[@craigkrawinkel3140]

​@@benmarsden2581we're everywhere, brother

[@GeoffreyBronson]

@@benmarsden2581 Alpha legion spies are everywhere.

[@T_D_B_]

Fuck yeah shamman getting chaotic would be legendary

[@oakey03]

"What did you guys go as last year?" "She was Cruella DeVille and I went as a dog." "...Your relationship is f*cked-up, man."

[@ethaneverson304]

Matt really is a space cadet

[@visgraatje859]

Matt is a wizard alright. a grandwizard.

[@LiteralApe]

OT is full of shane concocting sentences to make matt look like a G dub

[@davidpsdeals]

Grand imperial wizard

[@nathanaelsmith1368]

“Any port in a storm” 16:13. That comment by Shane is wild 🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelc8192]

peepop i am once again asking for history bed time stories

[@Goofmaxxin]

💯 ❤❤❤

[@sleepysnoozin]

Literally just commented asking for the same stuff, big dawgs think alike

[@johnford9070]

Come on peepoop for the dawgz

[@bulrawg_bot]

Agreed. Get on it bitch. The dawgz have spoken. Also anything with war. Thanks G

[@HughTheDukeGlass]

FOR THE DAWGZ

[@mort3338]

i love how mccuskers bandaid for everything is vacation and no fap

[@nicandromartinezsotelo3300]

Yeah but he a dumbass. Why France or Dubaï when you're few hours flight from Mexico City? Bitches LOOOOVE Mexico City. And cheaper than all that France and Arab bullshit. Tacos, Pozole and some mezcal artesanal can rekindle all relationships

[@jasondeliello2352]

Matt is like a real life version of Randall from clerks

[@cloudbloom]

Best analogy holy shit

[@T_D_B_]

Good pull bro

[@skyluke9476]

@@cloudbloom fucking. Fuck. Dude. Fuck. Wow. Best comment ever. So true

[@herdrugby11]

Hahah Jesus christ this was the most accurate real person to movie character comparison ever

[@BoyGeorgiaX]

This is like bragging about outsmarting a housefly.

[@KinoTechUSA69]

Matt is the fucking man

[@esock2001]

BLESSED ARE THE DAWGZ

[@connerhaas4703]

My favorite new pod. Matt is way funnier then he’s given credit for.

[@bradleythebuilder8743]

He’s the reason I listen to the pod

[@bludragon47]

Come for Shane stay for Matt. Recent new listener as well.

[@austinmanuel500]

Who doesn’t give him credit? True dawgs know that he carried the first like 40 eps and steps up whenever Shane is not on his A game

[@oSiiKModding]

True I must say his stand up game needs some work, but I have no doubt he’s got the resources to excel

[@Prnto44]

@@bludragon47couldnt have said it better.

[@townesprescot5441]

the shaman is all knowing

[@sapermader2198]

That vacation move is fucking genius

[@bigbrossi2434]

i heard Paris is nice 😂😂

[@tommybellardine]

Matt enjoying Minions is a hilarious non-bit

[@JR-zi9vj]

Matt is the beachboy equivalent of theovon

[@daleboyers7486]

I want a parking cone like spud😂😂😂spuds sat at home listening to this so proud of himself

[@andresoyervides5324]

Hard break check is the best when you’re getting the silent treatment. They either react and break the treatment or swallow it.

[@_..-.._..-.._]

Swallow their teeth? 😂

[@bardsamok9221]

Or maintain silence, get out the car, hitchhike home and put your dog to sleep.

[@andresoyervides5324]

@@bardsamok9221 *put her dog to sleep before she gets home *

[@robert9016]

13:35 is an all time Matt line for me

[@T_D_B_]

Life is hard for a loser

[@Henry-kv7zl]

@@T_D_B_ life is always hard bucko

[@iCookCrystalMeth]

@@T_D_B_can confirm

[@B3FMandCProductions]

"The Girl Who Dwelt Below" 😂😂😂

[@DatBoi-mo9vc]

I like how his minion voice was completely wrong, he thinks they talk like pokemon do

[@BigFarts0]

Oh wow I haven’t came this fast before I swear, you’re the first to make me do this

[@markroberts7001]

Your welcome

[@devante2438]

Putting that Dope dick down on that goood chi town

[@camwelch9948]

I died at the minion shit holy fuck

[@deanweber9336]

Listening to this makes me feel less stressed about my own relationship lol!

[@alexcoyg3281]

Passive agressive, they know what they are doing, trust me, you have to max the reaction, Matt's response is perfect

[@OvrZealous247]

The D.E.N.N.I.S system 101

[@T_D_B_]

It does seem like a variant of that system

[@typingwhilepoopingLOL]

M.A.T.T. Mingle Advance Turned away Tporn

[@fadew55]

I love how shane wants so badly to make fun of matt for the minions but just cant. 25:19 . That "oh man" was deep and he was powerless

[@whiskeybandit-gz5um]

Matt-"oh i would take whatever came to me"😂

[@bracksampson1]

Matt's wife is a goddess. Matt is hilarious. Hell yea dude

[@DweeD1516]

You know the woman in the picture isn't his wife right?

[@MrSh4des]

His wife is blacker than black ya

[@stoybtorn]

@@DweeD1516 prove it in court

[@DweeD1516]

@@stoybtorn I could...easily. That's Ariana Grande for one and his wife is black. That is not his wife that is a Disney star turned shitty pop singer who looks busted without makeup.

[@sanchezmcdirty1]

really? she sounds like a c*nt

[@jordancave3089]

Pongo was the name of my first dog lol he was a Rottweiler…and when I got older I asked my mom why that was his name because I was super young when we got him…so i didn’t remember. She said it’s the only name I’d let him have cause I was apparently obsessed with 101 Dalmatians😂😂 I’m a bit younger than Shane, but it’s funny hearing him talk about wanting to name his dog Pongo too lol

[@OhHeBustin]

Cute

[@bruhdon4748]

Pongo is such a great name for a dog tbh & I too loved 101 Dalmatian’s as a kid and I’m significantly younger than shane, I think it’s just an autism thing to love 101 Dalmatian’s, my brother worked in caring for severely autistic adults & one of them would literally watch 101 Dalmatian’s on repeat all day every day & it was the only thing he did.

[@jamaljohnson1948]

Shane travels all over doing shows and filming tv shows and somehow Matt has better stories every week by just chilling at home

[@michaelswanton3336]

That vacation line is god tier

[@T_D_B_]

Matt's girl was turning tricks with all that cash on the floor

[@NoNameNo.5]

Yoooo, that vacation shit worked….

[@cartercartercartercar]

i’m looking for the clip where matt says he’s “baby crazy.” one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard a man say on a podcast

[@ramsnation196]

Bro what😂😂😂

[@watcherofthewest8597]

I found out today Mccusker write a book, that apparently, is extremely well liked by everyone who read it. I can't really explain my different levels of joy knowing that this exists.

[@1990Co]

Dude, read it, its great. For sure buy it.

[@CasualChriso]

What’s it called ?

[@watcherofthewest8597]

@@CasualChriso II forgot. It's on Goodreads. Not many reviews. I've heard it's really good

[@1990Co]

@@CasualChriso overlook

[@GOSTDatingandLifestyle]

Awesome mate, cheers, just bought on Amazon, it's £9

[@noahharju]

These thumbnails are pure gold

[@FirstLast-gk6lg]

God damn those dudes who can't have a good time because they are so obsessed with trying to get laid are the WORST

[@davidx.4323]

I think I just discovered the realest, most relatable content on KZbin!

[@MiracleChips]

I used to think I was like Shane, but I’m slowly realizing I’m Matt.

[@eternalific3242]

MATTS ONTO SOMETHING HERE BOYS

[@HeartLancer]

Matt thought 2 planes did Pearl Harbor but his intellect still blows brendan schaub out the water

[@mikedaines47]

Thank you for the nuggets peepop.

[@Kampfwageneer]

Strike out blues is real i used to get it early twenties savage with the self bro

[@acidrat420]

4:50 that "wow" lmao

[@RatsnRods]

Mccumster looks so handsome in the thumby

[@glocky_lo6351]

Dude this is the best

[@covrtdesign5279]

This is exactly why I have been single for so long. I don't deal with people BS anymore.

[@sean8363]

Mmmmmmhm sure

[@psyifinotic]

matt drops a kung flu at 20:23

[@jeffreyleblanc5676]

The passion of the cusk. Let's roll

[@nope5481]

Wait... is the car ride is a universal thing? Our argument carried over to dinner a couple weeks ago and I hit her with "Why am I in a relationship that has a 10 mile, surface street boundary" she didnt like that. She hung her head

[@Propaproduct]

the McCusker Hair is Waaavvvy aha

[@mattthornhill554]

The best reverse to pull on the silent treatment is just to sit, let them be quiet and do literally anything else, let them stew and once they ask why you aren’t concerned about why they haven’t said anything just hit them with “well I thought something was bothering you but I know if it’s something serious enough you’d discuss with me, we both know how to communicate and how to address problems maturely without making it a blown up thing so I know we can handle it”

[@AlbanianThrash]

"oh did you stop talking? i didn't notice"

[@cassidyerickson7408]

Matt mccusker fuckin rules

[@tylerwalsh7587]

“Warter.”

[@sappypapi]

like leaving cheese for a mouse

[@makoto3212]

28:00 shane was like "HUH" hahaahaha

[@GlassHalfFull10]

That Owen Wilson movie was bad ass

[@metalblog1065]

I haven't even listened to this but this is the best photoshop I've ever seen

[@SuperRespect88]

seems matt took a dab like a cart😂

[@HighriseSuicides]

needed this today since I was starved of a PAYTCH episode today

[@bigben42]

Is there no paytch coming?

[@HighriseSuicides]

@@bigben42 idk but one hasn't been uploaded yet and it normally would've been by now

[@bigben42]

@@HighriseSuicides it’s out now

[@HighriseSuicides]

@@bigben42 ty for that info legend

[@lategod]

i say the same shit lmao “next time u drive then” lolol

[@meloupnext]

top tier post good look man 🔥

[@blickluke]

Dr. Matt MCCusker saved my marriage!!!

[@lilbabybeard]

holy shit matt is me hahahaha

[@AnalogLanguage]

Love guru? Nah Love Shaman!

[@madhousemilitia82]

Reggie Brooks reference. 😢😢😢😍😍😍

[@jameslucena1020]

Based Matt accidentally steals your bbg

[@AllAboutMMA]

Grabbed nuts randomly got me cracked up😂😂

[@carlmay9532]

22:25-23:10 is the hardest I’ve laughed in years.

[@ShrimpPimpins]

19:30 something, same shit for me, afraid of rocking my girl on accident, the ultra instinct is a real fear

[@EVAASIVEOne]

19:35 ball touch reflexes

[@michaelmerrill5187]

I named my Dutch shepherd Reggie after Reggie bush. Thought I was the first to come up with that.

[@neilbowman573]

Wait awhile. You get to a point in the relationship where the silent treatment is the best.

[@T_D_B_]

It's a gift

[@ghagzor]

Why would you stay with someone you don't like?

[@neilbowman573]

@@ghagzor Because I'm not a millennial and I have kids. My grandparents on both sides stayed together. My parents stayed together. My friends parents stayed together. "Someone I don't like"? You'll never find someone you like all the time...if you do that's great for you...but in the real world most of us find people we like most of the time and that's good enough because we're not fragile little pussies that require validation.

[@zb3645]

@@neilbowman573 fuck yeah

[@Lorenzo_I.]

@@neilbowman573 sounds like you're a little pussy to me

[@ElGordo2497]

That was really meeeean 😭😭😭

[@Truffle_Pup]

"Let's go towards to rocks!" "No, we'll fucking die!" Women. Hah.

[@robluxipiech4033]

I came fast thanks bros

[@bbrucet3]

I'm listening to this in my civic type R but I get it. They make it feel like a LX.

[@kingmoz]

15:24 kills me

[@qwerty6574]

"but I got NO money"

[@dirtfalconi4779]

so relatable haha

[@ZakarRuss]

Too late brother 😂😂

[@michelebergman4336]

Shane needs to protect u

[@charlesalexander1711]

Title shoulda been Love Cast with Dr Matt

[@jrod1845]

Lmao i thought that was a fucking paul walker for a second 😂😂😂

[@gregbabcock9900]

Pro tip to breaking the silent treatment on a road trip when you're driving: Play the same song off your phone on repeat. I reconmend Santa Esmeralda's version of "Don't let me be Misunderstood" Its a 17 minutes version of a timeless classic, plus its God Damn good every bit of that 17 minutes is different from every but of that 17 mins Dont be pussy and give it a listen right now.

[@josephvaldez7055]

I just gave it a listen. You’re right it’s pretty damn good

[@BoyGeorgiaX]

I’m surprised Shane doesn’t like Minions because of the Minion’s tenure in the 40’s

[@Flameb0]

matt is the funniest man on earth

[@darian.the.barbarian]

About the money on the floor thing... I once had this weird friend that would believe in all this odd, witchy, new age manifestation shit and he would throw money all over the floor. I tried to pick it up and he yelled at me that it was supposed to bring more money your way or some shit. So maybe it was that? Idfk 😂

[@wetemupcyguy5933]

Matt the goat

[@04dram04]

That's a super expensive way to get out of an argument

[@84kjk]

The key is to never follow through with it.

[@04dram04]

@84kjk yea the consequences of that are not worth it

[@dbell9571]

Every single chick I've dated...there has been an expensive vacation "test" within the first year.

[@vicrattlehead8665]

Matt has lived quite a life •_•