Murder Charges Dismissed Against Bikini-Clad Pool Party Shooter | Sabrina Hendley Case Analysis

This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Sabrina Hendley?
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[@jtixtlan]

It was Mark who pushed the neighbor. It was Mark that held a knife to her neck. It was mark that beat up Mike and said he was going for his gun. It was Mark who got the gun out. Even if he momentarily turned partly away, she was in danger. One of them would eventually end up dead, so it is better it wasn’t the victim.

[@LuandaMead]

Exactly!

[@ig.ag9587]

I agree. I’d like to share something… My (alcoholic) father beat my mother since the day they got together (92-96 or so). In 96, (my mother told me) an acquaintance at the bar asked him for a ride home, which my father denied. That night ended in my father beaten, eye taken out of his socket and he’s now physically disabled. He was in a coma for some months after. Once he came to, he told my grandfather “I was going to kill him. I actually went to my trunk to get a machete.” NOW, idk if insisting for a ride warrants pulling out a machete, but I don’t think so. Remember, My father was always violent. a few years after the incident, he was living with his family. My mother picked him up so my sibling and I could visit, when he tried to hit my mom for taking him back to his house. Some people never change. Anyways, I think that’s the case with mark as well. Kill or be killed.

[@tonioshea9870]

I didn't report my husband til I was hospitalized after a savage beating in '84. I was 21, have grand mal seizures to this day. Pls, don't judge victims. Support them♡ Dr. Grande's right.

[@evamurray4478]

I'm glad you made it out ❤

[@DressedForDrowning]

This is very difficult for me to understand. Why do victims protect their abusers? Can you give me a hint on this?

[@paulkramer9666]

​@@DressedForDrowningShort answer? Fear.

[@DressedForDrowning]

@@paulkramer9666 Okay, I understand. Thank you.

[@darrylg3861]

Bcs we are afraid of them

[@3_up_moon]

The world is just a little bit safer thanks to the actions of Sabrina Henley.

[@nmartin5551]

I have a cousin whose abuser has her convinced that verbal and emotional abuse isn’t abuse. So frustrating.

[@sustomusickillsyoutube]

Get her a therapist, best way to handle that.

[@MitchT-cj2hg]

Maybe your cousin has you convinced she's abused and really aint

[@GH-oi2jf]

Some people think a heated argument is abuse.

[@MargaretCho-pt3ng]

If a wife gets caught cheating, and her husband calls her a bish, he's verbally abusive.

[@debbiebride1482]

Your insights into the mindset of domestic abuse victims - especially their reasons for not leaving or reporting the situation - are unparalleled! Spelling it out in this video, and so many others involving similar circumstances, can go a long way in promoting wider awareness and understanding. ❤ We can only hope the message gets through to those law enforcement officers whose ignorance is an obstacle to justice.

[@jameslong4511]

Never ever talk to the police without an attorney. An attorney could have protected Sabiana's rights, and the police probably would not have brought the original charges.

[@2centsam927]

Yup.

[@charlesedward5047]

That is exactly right. But the mentality of "if you get a lawyer, it means you're guilty" still prevails.

[@roberthooper8883]

@@charlesedward5047 doesn't matter. It is far more important to have the lawyer than it is to not "look like you are guilty".

[@Sinsteel]

People choose to waive their rights usually when they ARE guilty, and they want the cops to lose interest in them as a suspect. You're thinking like an innocent person. A guilty person knows that when they lawyer up it's obviously better for them in court, but they don't intend to get that far. For instance, if I wanted to make sure after I'd shot my husband in the back that I got away with it even though there was no history of violence, I would know that getting a lawyer would only make the cops look even harder at me, when I want to walk free, not end up in court...

[@mjowsey]

"what you say will be used against you" NEVER "used FOR you!"

[@drdr76]

I think she was in fear for her life. My father was physically abusive and we use to beg our mother to divorce him. This was the 60s and a lot of his abuse was accepted back in those days. Many years later, our mother said the reason she did not divorce him is that she thought he would take his gun and kill us all--believable for many reasons. Here are a couple: when he was 5, he wrapped a vine rose bush around another 5 year old's head in a fight according to our grandmother. He was also a Korean war vet and had a devil may care attitude about danger/violence. There is an extensive list but not enough time for this venue. I would never had voted to convict this woman.

[@isabellalora6533]

😥😥 I’m sorry to hear that I hope you’re okay now

[@828enigma6]

He needed killed. Not guilty.

[@janey783]

"People are willing to forgive alcohol more than any other offender on the planet." That made me let out an involuntary "Daaamn!"

[@cantfindmykeys]

Not me!

[@Super_Grover_]

💯💯💯

[@bocabec6744]

Alcohol always wins. It has ruined more lives and loves to lurk in the shadows looking for its next victim. That bully dam well got what he should have gotten many years earlier. Good move Sabrina. You killed him! You killed him good. And he's dead! Yippy!

[@cantfindmykeys]

@@bocabec6744 lol, I won't argue with that.

[@timsexton]

If hidden demons exist within, alcohol most certainly will be what conjures them. *_TRUST !!_*

[@MusgraveRitual]

The old saying comes to mind "alcohol doesn't change who you are, it reveals it". I will never understand why people who get violent when they drink continue to drink.

[@rockyevans1584]

It affects everyone differently, and while I think that old saying is inaccurate I definitely share your confusion over people who have repeated negative results when drinking and just keep drinking. Freaky stuff

[@NatBKiev]

I know a guy who quit drinking because he lost his passport in foreign country while being drunk. And this man was the real danger to his family and kept drinking 🤦‍♀️

[@Mandrake591]

Not necessarily true. Alcohol affects people differently, just like anything else. But we are all aware of the dangers of excessive drinking, and must be made responsible if that behavior is happening. Mark was a walking time bomb, holding a knife to someone’s throat is psychopathic. It sounds like he was dangerous and remorseless even when sober. I’m glad she wasn’t charged. Excessive drinking is just a bad idea, period.

[@maureeningleston1501]

The 1st time a man/women puts their hands on you in anger.....LEAVE THEM IMMEDIATELY and don't go back under any circumstances.

[@christiesiebens3611]

Dr. Grande, I want to personally thank you for bringing this story to light and analyzing it. I believe this woman is partly free because of the pool party. If there had not been as many witnesses to the husbands' recent behavior, her story of imperfect self defense would probably not have been believed. I say "imperfect" because it certainly was not perfect, but the DA made the right call.

[@isabelleforstmann268]

It’s not hard to imagine that one could feel their life was in danger around someone who attacked two people earlier that day- choking them and threatening them with weapons, both things that could easily turn deadly. Even if he wasn’t attacking her in that moment, it seems likely he would have had the situation played out longer.

[@commonsense2680]

I agree!

[@cagneybillingsley2165]

the best deterrence against domestic violence is a gun. democrats must hate victims of abuse to continue finding ways to put restrictions on gun ownership

[@peytonweb]

It's true that sooo many cases of domestic violence go unreported. My Mom never reported my Dad, in 22 years of marriage. And there were some scary, horrific attacks. I loved my Dad & he was good to me, & I had a total breakdown & had severe depression after he died. But, I made my mind up that I would probably kill anyone who ever choked, hit, or kicked me, or pulled a knife or gun on me. If in true fear of your life, in that situation it IS JUSTIFIED to defend yourself, PERIOD. I wouldn't want to take a life, but I won't be a victim. And to this day, @40yrs old, I thank God above that I've never been abused by anyone, so that I didn't have to make that decision. I'm so blessed!!

[@nhmooytis7058]

Someone who tolerates abuse assumes the risk it will escalate which it always does.

[@unowen9668]

You were abused by having to watch your mother's abuse.

[@peytonweb]

@@unowen9668 Thankfully I never saw it happen, but I did hear it & see the aftermath of his outbursts. I was a very deep sleeper as a small child, & then when I was 8 years old, I started waking up to the yelling & crying & figured out what had been happening all those years...😭💔

[@julieme7927]

Or... you could leave

[@magical571]

​@@julieme7927oh sure. Excuse me sir who's about to chokehold me, beat me, grab a knife to threaten and wound me, may i just leaver sir? Is that an option? Awesome, thanks

[@mariamerigold]

Your comment at the end about alcohol always escaping responsibility is so true! Thanks as always doc ❤️

[@lnc-to4ku]

Interesting case, Dr. Grande! He sounded like the kind of guy who would eventually bring harm to an innocent person.

[@sandilou2U]

I am DV survivor. I was 20 when we met, he was 27. We eloped shortly after. During our 15 years of marriage, I had been choked, pushed out of a moving car, abandoned in a town I didn't know without money and no one to call (before cell phones), and had a gun held against my head, locked out of the house, threw against the stove resulting in 2 back surgeries, and so much more. I learned early to not argue back despite it being want he wanted. I often would hide until he gave up. One time we were visiting my Mom for the weekend and he had gone out drinking. He got back around 2am and started pushing me, trying to provoke me but I refused to allow him to behave that way at my Mom's so, I left on foot knowing he would try to find me and I walked just over 7 miles. It was a rural area so, I would dash into the woods when I saw his headlights. When he stopped looking for me I walked to a little store. It was closed but I used the payphone to call HIS Mom to give me a ride back to my Mom's. Throughout everything, I never once called 911 and although people who knew me suspected he was violent with me, I hid it from everyone (I didn't have friends. Everyone I knew were his friends aka: drinking buddies). A neighbor called the police a couple of times but when police came I would deny everything. I protected him because it protected me. He is a master manipulator. It took years after I finally had the courage to leave to not be in constant fear. That was over 19 years ago and although I no longer fear him, I have not been in a relationship since. DV leaves two types of scars. The physical ones that eventually heal. And mental ones that never do.

[@nhmooytis7058]

But you didn’t kill him.

[@genericamerican7574]

Why do you tell people their stories are not real? Sure they may not be but what would it change not to leave a long comment deconstructing their comment into something completely opposite of what they said? Would you appreciate someone doing that here? I wouldn’t. I’m not saying you can’t just state simply you disagree and or don’t believe them so you can be invited to add more if someone wants to know what you mean. An example would be me leaving a long message breaking down part by part what I don’t believe in your comment and saying that makes what you said not true or me just saying I don’t believe you and having you or someone else care enough to ask me why. It’s trauma dumping on someone’s trauma dumping but being 100% toxic about it by using it to trash their trauma. You won’t be the first or the last. Is this what you like to do?

[@genericamerican7574]

Honestly I am happy you got out and survived. You didn’t deserve anything but kindness and love like everyone else. I also wish he could have gotten the help he needed too so he could have known what it feels like to love and be kind. Have a lovely 2023🎭🫶🕊

[@nhmooytis7058]

@@genericamerican7574 criticizes invalidating people and long posts. Leaves long post invalidating someone. Self insight, hello?

[@godisgooey]

Thank you for putting such an emphasis on alcohol, substance abuse, playing such a HUGE role in these domestic violence situations. People in these situations also feel that it will go back to so-called “normal” the next day. That is another reason that domestic violence is not reported, The stigma and image that portrays to neighbors and relatives and also creating a police record for someone you purport to love.

[@phil4986]

Alchohol beats the hell out of alot of women. Something you never see in the alchohol ads. I had an ex friend ( who could drink 24 cans of beer in four hours ) who beat his wife so hard he broke blood vessels in her eyes. She was one of the nicest people you could ever meet. She would not leave him. I had to get away from both of them. His whole family were alchoholics. Insanity in beverage form.

[@loliknow.3352]

Yet people still Thinks alcohol is cool.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Psychologically healthy people dont drink alcohol or use drugs. Any sobriety is challenging for an addict.

[@Danielle-nz9tn]

@@sherriflemming3218 thanks, glad to know I’m mentally ill bc I had a glass of wine last night. I’ll be sure to go to a psychiatrist tomorrow!

[@nomadscavenger]

@@sherriflemming3218 There are levels of "sobriety" I don't think you understand. Being slightly relaxed, really relaxed, tired, angry, sad etc. All impair driving, but a glass or two of wine will not make most people addicts. Some people will become addicted, (usually w/any alcohol if genetically disposed-b vites not absorbed, etc.),and wine drinking early in teens does lead to problems (France/Italy/Germany). A responsible (proven in their personal history) and emotionally evolved adult drinker of wine w/meal or before eating is not ever going to be called an addict by any psychiatrist/psychologist in 2022. Otherwise, the Last Supper would just be a bunch of besotted fanatics in a love fest generating a lot of hooey with wine drinking at least every holy day for 1,000s of yrs ahead; and perhaps every day for the very few days to come for those participants, no?😇👹🤔🤗🙋

[@emilyp9455]

Thank you for covering this case and for offering your take on it. It is true that many people do not report these types of crimes. I myself am a victim of domestic violence and know that I never did. I have a hard time understanding the situation I found myself in, much less trying to explain it to people who have never experienced it. You love this person, and you have hope that you can help them get better. You take the abuse on yourself to try to protect others who are also in the house. You don't call the police because you don't want to get them in more trouble. You want to give them the best chance of getting better without negative consequences. It's embarrassing, like you said. My ex was an alcoholic. He would be verbally abusive at times but would never get physical unless he was drinking. When he would drink, he turned into someone I couldn't recognize. It was easier to think afterwards that "that wasn't him" and to blame it on the alcohol. He would apologize profusely the next day, promise it would never happen again, tell me how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. He "needed" me. How could I abandon him when he was so clearly ill? I could take it. I'm strong enough. I was going to be strong for both of us to get us through it. Trying to be strong enough did not work. The apologies meant less and less. Every minute of every day I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It was a complete nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. There were nights that I would pray that he would kill me so that it would just be over. No one can understand that situation until you're in it. I honestly hope that most people that read this will never understand. "Allowing" myself to be hurt so badly by someone I love is something I have a harder time forgiving myself for than I do forgiving him. Although, I haven't forgiven him either. I am lucky to be here. I only escaped due to my partner being incarcerated for unrelated charges. If you are in a situation like this, leave now! I know it's not that simple, but you CAN do it. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, you will be tempted to go back. But you deserve so much better. Confide in someone that loves you so that they can help you get out. There are people that will help you. You don't have to tell them everything, just that you need help. Trust me. It does get better. Thanks again, Dr G. I needed to talk about that.

[@tinawindham6958]

I reported mine and the deputy said “ why do u let him do that? Referring to bruises. The DA’s office “forgot” to subpoena me to court and dismissed the charges. That’s why people don’t report it.

[@amandav5824]

Emily, your point on how difficult is it to forgive yourself for "allowing" it really resonated with me. This is what keeps the ruminating thoughts and resentment hanging around for me personally. Thank you for sharing

[@dankadesign7462]

@@tinawindham6958 terrible😠😓 Hope you manage to get out of there 😇

[@evelynwaugh4053]

​@@tinawindham6958 Most communities do have an agency that supports domestic abuse victims. If you contacted them, they would help advocate for you with the courts, as well as put you in touch with services that could assist you.

[@sherriflemming3218]

The Duluth Power and Control Wheel.

[@andreasrau2161]

Another excellent analysis of the effects of alcohol and a history of unreported domestic abuse in investigating a homicide, Doctor Grande.

[@kyla8386]

Unbelievable the neighbour didn’t call the police and just said “watch those two”. Glad Sabrina was able to walk away alive, so many dv victims don’t

[@almakehlerbrown3935]

Exactly 💯

[@robertstone9988]

She shot him in the back how can you claim self-defense if you shoot someone in the back? When has anybody ever beat anybody with their shoulder blades? Not saying the guy wasn't a piece of s*** not saying he never put his hands on her but you can't shoot somebody because they might beat you up in the future if that was the case I could just go around shooting anybody and be like "yeah but one day that guy may have attacked me the best defense is a good offense you know." If he'd been hit in the chest or the face I might be more likely to believe it was self-defense if you shoot someone after they hit you that's not self-defense that's Revenge and if you shoot someone because they might hit you in the future I don't think that's okay either it's just too vague of a defense

[@citizendame6329]

@@robertstone9988 in most states that's correct, but Florida is a "stand your ground" state which allows people to claim self defense if they fear their lives are in danger

[@kyla8386]

@@robertstone9988 clearly you’ve never been beaten and abused, he literally brought the weapons and chased her with a knife, you have no idea what you’re talking about, violent men like him are unpredictable and dangerous, he beat her father and she probably saved her life and her fathers

[@robertstone9988]

@@citizendame6329 that's not how standing ground works that's how Democrats would like you to believe stand your ground works. I live in a stand your ground state and there been plenty of people prosecuted for shooting folks in the back. It's not if you the shooter think it was reasonable to shoot the person it's what a reasonable person determines to be reasonable. Otherwise I can just claim I'm afraid of you and drive to your house and shoot you. Like I said I can understand her wanting him dead and I fully believe that he put his hands on her like everybody says but that's not an excuse to shoot somebody. If he was coming at her then stand your ground all day long but if someone punches you in the face and they're walking away and you shoot them in the back that's not self-defense that you shooting them in the back out of Revenge for punching you in the face

[@rcmedia9516]

Final thoughts on alcohol are spot on. 2 months sober today and I feel like the person I used to be before the booze. I won’t put myself or my family through that ever again.

[@cantfindmykeys]

Bravo for you!

[@browniehendricks3726]

Congratulations

[@NatBKiev]

Congratulations!

[@lyndahadley2352]

This analysis is another good example of why we listen to Dr. Grande. Thorough with details, yet highly interesting!!!

[@elizabethwarman9028]

Enjoyed the video Dr. Grande. My Dad always said only a coward shoots someone in the back. But, I understand Sabrina's reasoning for shooting Mark in the back. She was afraid of him, and wanted this nightmare to end. Back in the early 90s I had a boyfriend whom I met at a Christian dance. Everything was great until he gave me an engagement ring. Then the Physical, sexual and emotional abuse started. I never told our Reverend, my parents, my employer or sister what was going on. 1. I was afraid no one would believe me. 2. I deserve the abuse. 3. He would apologize, say it would never happen again. Plus send me Red Roses to my desk at work. It wasn't until I went to Maui that I had to think about everything. I decided while in Maui to break up with my boyfriend. This was the best decision I ever made.

[@Dwightstjohn-fo8ki]

the "key" is to get away and THINK about your life and what is being put upon you. my aunt did that when called to help with her sisters baby. she never came back. as a family, we offered her help of any kind. we knew what she had been through, and had resources, but SHE had to make the decision. She re=married and is doing just fine.

[@yellowjacket5995]

Today's question is, can you analyze the case of Elizabeth Warman? Warman was charged with aggravated slaughter in connection with an incident in which she exited her vehicle and bisected a police officer with a broadsword.

[@elizabethwarman9028]

@@yellowjacket5995 , that isn't me. Where did this Elizabeth Warman do this? Warman is a very rare surname.

[@lewisner]

Even if it was cowardice he was a 6 foot tall National Guardsman and she was 5 foot 4 in a bikini. Hardly a fair contest.

[@erkaderka3571]

There can also be a case made for Battered Woman Syndrome, which is sometimes considered a legal defense. Domestic abuse is complex, usually misunderstood by those lucky enough to have never experienced it. Thank you for spreading more awareness on this subject💖

[@commonsense2680]

In the overwhelming majority of cases where one spouse commits domestic violence against the other (especially male offenders) the matter escalates into something fatal. Thank you so much for bring up this case, I had not heard of it but it probably is not that unusual. It is so sad that women cannot leave their husbands (partners) despite the violence either for fear of retaliation or blind love and co-dependance. Of course, the police must be idiots if they think a victim of DV would never lie to protect their abusive partner, it happens all the time and the victim refuses to press charges even when it is obvious the partner hit that person. And as you said, alcohol ALWAYS makes the situation worse, I believe most DV cases involve some alcohol. I believe Sabrina was terrified and believed her husband would kill her or her father especially in her alcoholic state. Thank you again.

[@enricofermi6997]

I think just as alcohol makes a driver more guilty before the law, it should make all perpetrators more guilty before the law, instead of somehow being seen as exculpatory. Getting oneself drunk, committing some crime, and then basically saying, "The alcohol did it!" is absurd. Getting oneself drunk cannot absolve one from what ones does when drunk.

[@kimmymarky9538]

He abused and assaulted her dad. I truly believe it was self defense.

[@anya.neeze.plz.]

please cover the 2018 murder of 10mo old Mary Welch in Michigan.. the parents of 3 claimed it was normal they left the baby alone for over 17 hours and even though she only weighed a pound more than she had when born, they claim to have fed (nursed) her on regular basis. it was an hour and a half after finding her dead before they called 911 because they chose to consult lawyer first. I just find this case fascinating as there's so many dianamics at play and would really like to hear your take on the mental processes of both of these parents. thank you

[@k.hotting4851]

I love what you said about alcohol, dr. Grande. I couldn't agree more.

[@Nevermore694]

As a single parent, I was pretty much stuck as a bartender for 20 years, as it paid better than anything else I could find. I used to say “there is the devil in every bottle”.

[@cantfindmykeys]

It's the most repulsive and destructive substance, imo. Tastes and smells disgusting, too,

[@wiseone1013]

Good day Internet. I appreciate how Dr Grande pumps out so many well researched and argued videos on a daily basis. His work ethic and passion for creating good content is inspiring. I 🤣 a lot at his razor sharp humor and rate his comedic skills highly. This channel strikes a good balance between being educational and entertaining and will grow into many many millions because Grande's reason and wit is undeniable.

[@jtzoltan]

He makes dad jokes classy. Also, good call never missing an opportunity to include a bikini babe in your thumbnail

[@nanaman]

Dr Grande The fact that you have pointed out that victims of abuse have the abusers best interest at heart makes you an exemplary human….of course any harmful substances (drugs, alcohol, gambling, lying, etc.) that are added to a relationship with bad intent is enough for those who are victims to refuse to accept that they are victims and to expose their perpetrators as a monster. Because, as you say; it’s an abomination to their own personal life to be put into perspective of judgment and beliefs of others! Thank you for this

[@Sinsteel]

I'm not sure how she had his best interest at heart when she shot in him in the back, lol.

[@nanaman]

@@Sinsteel touché lol

[@BonJody]

I think she didn't report because he was in the national guard and would have lost his job if she did, I could also see him saying mean things to her about wearing a bikini or whatever else he decided was wrong with her and that most likely fuelled her feelings towards shooting him. I have an ex that would have never let me wear a bikini around other people and if I did he would have made horrible comments to me or anyone else who would listen. That's why he's an ex. But it took me a long time to get my self confidence back enough to see he was the problem not me.

[@NatBKiev]

My theory is that he treated to harm her dad. That could make her snap

[@marilynmcmahon5932]

Yes, you are right about alcohol. Often hidden in plain sight.

[@MrsRitchieBlackmore]

Yes, and it effects everyone differently, which makes it even harder to pin down. Some people get giggly, some people get sad, some people get TMI, some people get violent and emotional, some people just go to sleep (me, lol).

[@megatherion2695]

@@MrsRitchieBlackmore And some people go through all of those changes, depending on what they drink.

[@karis7649]

Yes, alcohol really is a terrible storm of destruction. Substances in general. last weekend my sibling’s life was damaged forever by substance abuse, and my aunt’s life ended because of it (not to mention the ongoing demise of my own marriage). It really hit me how much the pain my extended family experiences is due to, or exacerbated by, substance abuse.

[@cantfindmykeys]

Give me a stoner or a junkie or a cokehead any day over an alcoholic. Preferably none of them but alcoholics are monsters.

[@Sinsteel]

Alcohol is just the spice on people's actions.

[@TheEldritchArchives]

Dr Grande's points about alcohol are very true. Unfortunately for some people alcohol is a catalyst to destruction and misery.

[@b.t.s.agnomen1044]

AA says "Resentment is the #1 Offender." I'd agree. Alcohol is the fuel that fires the Obsession (i.e., the Obsession to drink). I'm guessing that both the victim and the perpetrator were/are alcoholics of one kind or another. Their "love" wasn't genuine; rather, it was Obsessive. Adding alcohol to an already toxic relationship characterized by Obsession, Resentment, & Anger is lethal, and throwing in a gun pulled the trigger on this lethal combination.

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

Fantastic final thoughts regarding alcohol, I couldn’t agree more! I hope you have a great week ahead, Dr. Grande! Thank you.❤

[@cantfindmykeys]

Alcohol: the bane of humanity.

[@DigitalNeb]

Honestly, I feel sorry for this lady. She was married to a violent drunk, and ultimately she had to kill him to escape his sickness. Now she's still suffering because she actually loved the guy, and is torn up about him being gone and how things ended. I quit drinking twelve years ago because I had finally recognized the destructive behavior it caused in my life. I wish this guy could have done the same. He obviously had redeeming qualities when he wasn't drunk. What a shame.

[@robertstone9988]

You can't really claim self defense if you shoot someone in the back. ( well I guess you can if you're a cop and you shoot a black person) but in general if someone has their back to you they're not a threat. Not saying the dude never put his hands on her but you can't kill somebody because they beat you up you can only kill somebody because they ARE beating you up.

[@workingoutguy]

Hard to analyze a drunk person who has been abused. Especially cops who are generally not savvy enough in interviews unless they've been properly trained

[@theurbanloner8879]

Feel sorry for broads who love to be abused ?

[@oregonsnob31]

Alcohol is the devil and so readily available to too many😢

[@beatersnbeers2145]

If someone acts some of way when they are drunk then that part is always in them. Being drunk isn’t an excuse for any behavior.

[@dawnjohnston7024]

11/3/22 - Thank you Dr. Grande. I am a victim too, never reported but others did which escalated the abuse. When children are involved the victim is taxed with an extremely difficult decision. We forgive our abusers and hope for change. Stockholm Syndrome is not unusual. I still love my abusers, yes plural… they are sick and unable to control themselves.❤ Also thank you for your indictment of alcohol, I just heard the death stats on alcohol and it is actually worse than opioids. Our young ppl are dying needlessly of alcohol poisoning yet we hear so little about this fact. Thank you!

[@nhmooytis7058]

My ex hit me once. I made him move out but went on dating him. We’d been together 5 years. After a year he hit me again and that was it.

[@holocene2164]

I feel a lot of sympathy for Sabrina and her children. DV is rarely reported and when it is, usually nothing happens and the victims continue to be victimized. I'm sure many people knew how aggressive that guy was. If he had been arrested and received psychological help, maybe this could have been avoided.

[@tinameyer7080]

My ex husband was arrested several times. All it did was make the situation worse. Paying fines just gave him another excuse for anger- additional financial pressure/leverage against me and the kids. Experiencing the ineffectiveness of restraining orders just gave rise to additional fear that a piece of paper truly had NO power to keep him away....and "Anger Management" classes just taught him how to use the "correct" language in future Court appearances to make everything appear to be "misunderstandings" and tstressor now learned more appropriate reactions to stressors....

[@dianabranham7332]

@@tinameyer7080 excally. They know how to turn it around and make it look like your fault. And the cops look at you like you are the crazy one.

[@debbieoaldon8332]

I’m a survivor of DA DV .. I’ve been away from him since January 2017. The state of Georgia prosecuted him after I was woken up by EMT’s.. they called the sheriff Department as well as the hospital did. I pray to God I never go through that ever again !! FEAR stops us from asking for help !! I did ask his mother for help and she just wanted me to leave so I was on my own and I took care of my daughter, (not his child, she is mine) I live hours aways from him and I thank God so very much !!

[@blacklake13]

Great points on alcohol.

[@hightimecrime]

Just finished a video of yours only for this to pop up... Only a few minutes in and I've never heard of this case but how sad! Great analysis Dr. G!

[@almakehlerbrown3935]

Thank you so much for bringing this case to light 🙏

[@rullmourn1142]

Reason, is always the first victim of alcohol.

[@crittercrossing2913]

I was married to an alcoholic with abusive behavior, could not agree more with your analysis, especially hitting on the subject of substance abuse and the tremendous role it plays, Thank - you Dr. Grande!

[@a.jlondon9039]

I worked in an ER for 20 years and dealt with many female patients who were the victims of domestic abuse by a male partner. Of the hundreds of women I cared for only one ever had the man criminally charged. I also had male patients who were the victims of domestic abuse by their female partners. The man always had the female criminally charged. We as the hospital staff cannot call the police unless we feel our lives are in danger. Also, it is the responsibility of the victim to call the police.

[@Super_Grover_]

Thank you for this analysis! I hadn’t ever heard of this case before, but I relate to the domestic abuse and violence. I left the abusive partner more than 7 years ago, but I still catch myself behaving like I need to avoid making them angry at all costs. Things as small as choosing colors while shopping, I have to consciously be aware that I get to decide on the color that appeals to me and not what they prefer. I’m still learning a lot about myself and how to make decisions for myself. It doesn’t help that he has been stalking and harassing me ever since, but thankfully I’ve been in consistent therapy programs throughout. I know it’s hard for a lot of people to relate and understand or imagine how someone can end up in, and then remain in, an abusive relationship. I hope psychology experts like you can help more people who are fortunate to have never been in a DV situation, to better understand and empathize with victims rather than blame and shame them.

[@AxelordSMIJES]

I don't rightly imagine the two differing thoughts of "I love and want to protect this person" and "I'ma leg sweep the shit outta this lady" are able to both occupy your conscious mind simultaneously. It's so sad how easy it is for someone to get swept up in a toxic/unhealthy relationship and then bam - before they know it they are so deeply ingrained or codependent that they are effectively trapped. I imagine this poor woman was abused so often that every instance of violence started to blend together. I am sure that she didn't do every little thing she should have perfectly and so what? She is likely lucky to be here from the sound of it. Dude seemed outta control and I think that, ironically, the only person who will likely miss this abusive asshat is, in-fact Sabrina. I'm sure it is entirely possible that she was technically not acting in self defense on the night in question, but I sorta don't care lol.

[@bthomson]

As much as I agree that alcohol proceeds much havoc, nobody forces anyone to drink it (or very rarely anyway!) Abstinence is really quite a good idea!

[@MrsRitchieBlackmore]

Alcohol is legal, cheap and easy to obtain. It's very socially acceptable to drink in most circles - in fact, it's often rude NOT to drink, which is why many teetotalers avoid social gatherings. It's also an easy (albeit ultimately counterproductive) fix for depression and anxiety. It takes a strong will not to drink once you've gotten a taste for it...and this lady obviously did NOT have a strong will.

[@BlessedbytheKingofKings]

Hello. Great watch for a Monday Morning.

[@Qrail]

Dr. Grande, can you investigate the disappearance of Helen V. Brach? The candy heiress. What was that all about? Thank you.

[@garyacker7388]

Thank you Dr, I like your analysis and the fact that alcohol is a deciding factor in so many ways with so many of them in a negative way.

[@peach0129]

Alhamdulillah for Islam

[@cantfindmykeys]

I'm trying to think of any positive way alcohol can contribute to anything but.. nope. Well, maybe cherries jubilee.

[@yellowjacket5995]

Hello Dr. Grande. Today's question is, can you analyze the case of Gary Acker? Gary Acker was last spotted in the comment section of a Dr. Todd Grande video. He is wanted for quadruple manmurder.

[@joanalorenzo6949]

Unfortunately people on those types of relationship become complicit because of the notions that this person will eventually change. Abusers gaslight and manipulate the situation in a way that a person is bound to feel indeed trapped.

[@falkonladi8]

I think your analysis is very astute and well thought out and explained! I appreciate your calm delivery also 👌👏

[@JBthree24]

You should cover the case of Cindy James…it was also covered on Unsolved Mysteries! That’ll be good challenge for ya

[@MidnightBitesCarly]

Never talk to the cops without a lawyer

[@tinawindham6958]

Justice was served., I’m very surprised the DA didn’t prosecute her.

[@christopher.m.dickinson0315]

Yes through my years of trying different substance I can say without a doubt alcohol is the worst

[@remotecontrol1082]

Thank you, as ever, for your level headed analysis. Victims are often made to feel they are the problem so don’t always allocate blame where it should be. My ex was never physically violent, but alcohol destroyed our relationship and bore no responsibility because it was me who was blamed for disapproving, not him for abusing it. It is a lot harder to see clearly when you are in such a relationship and I am very glad that I have escaped. Had he ever attacked me like that, I'd have acted in self-defence, whatever the outcome.

[@maryjanekapteyn8964]

most victims don’t leave because statistically violence or risk of death is highest when someone tries to leave.

[@eadweard.]

I think that's only if you tell them.

[@tmusa2002]

The power of makeup! From the mug to the photo after is amazing!

[@lashlarue59]

I noticed that too. With makeup she looks ok but without it she looks like she's been homeless for 10 years.

[@dreamcore]

lighting and computational photography and/or filters

[@elgato9445]

Alcohol AND Firearms.. when has that ever led to a pleasant outcome.

[@browniehendricks3726]

He put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger. Thanks for the courage to speak out about the dangers of alcohol abuse. Love your channel and love you. Keep up the good work and take care.

[@lauraduffy6177]

I love how you analyse these cases. ❤

[@mariagabrielle6383]

Analyze

[@megatherion2695]

@@mariagabrielle6383 Analyse is the British spelling.

[@yellowjacket5995]

Today's question is, can you analyze the case of Laura Duffy? Laura is currently fleeing from triple murderslaughter charges that were filed in 2020.

[@peanutbutter2597]

I get more valuable information from listening to dr Grande than anyone else on the planet

[@mariagabrielle6383]

That's sad

[@litac5433]

I'm so glad she was released. Unfortunately, there are women in prison who were victims of domestic violence and had to protect themselves . Sometimes the law gets it wrong

[@cottontails9003]

Good evening Dr Grande. What a toxic relationship. In Australia we have a process of enough is enough there are many agency too get the victims protection, money and move the victims away from the perpetrators. Thank you Dr Grande. Brilliant analysis. Awful outcome and informative topic.

[@Frau.Kanzlerin]

Whether intentional or not, I believe you really advocated for women (and others) in domestic violence situations with this video. It was a relief to hear a man speak about it with kindness and empathy compared to how I usually hear it. I get so tired of people claiming to be unbiased about violence against women and then out of the other side of their mouth suggesting that it's more likely the woman is lying, or glorifying the man who has allegedly committed the crimes. So many people (particularly men, but also many women) are very quick to blame a woman who defends herself, but you never know how far he might take it this time. I think it often appears vengeful, but that it's important to remember that ongoing violence can escalate rapidly and without warning, so any given fight might just be the last and lethal self defense is justifiable. I think it takes a very brave woman to finally pull the trigger, literally and figuratively. I'm not advocating for revenge killings here, I'm just saying that more people should have compassion, empathy, and understanding when it comes to a woman's timing on her self defense in a relationship that is chronically violent. Anyway, back to my main point: thanks for covering this case the way that you did.

[@GH-oi2jf]

There is some middle ground between 1st degree murder and self defense.

[@Flamsterette]

Thanks for the upload, Dr. Grande!

[@katarina1852]

Dr. Grande, excellent job on The Unexplained with William Shatner! You’re famous! I rewound your part and watched it twice.😊

[@cantfindmykeys]

Do you have a link for that? I couldn't find it anywhere. Thanks.

[@Bebecat477]

Great analysis. Sad outcome. Thanks doc.

[@Adrian-zd4cs]

Dr. G is always bringing up cases I've never heard of! Thank you!

[@SakkaraKirax]

Oh, the pressure of wanting to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments but not knowing whether it will generate an interesting dialogue or not is crushing.

[@bthomson]

You're silly!

[@zenawarrior7442]

Another crazy case, great points always; if someone is disposed to violence or bad behavior it may happen with or w/o alcohol. Thanks Dr G 😊💟💟

[@jinglejangle77]

Could you analyse the case of Jean-Claude Romand?

[@MrsRitchieBlackmore]

IMO, she shot him in the back because she knew he was dangerous, but she loved him and didn't want to face him as she pulled the trigger. Similar to how in murders where the killer has feelings for the victim, the killer often shrouds the victim's body and face afterward.

[@robertstone9988]

I just don't see how it's self-defense if you shoot them in the back. Not saying the man never put his hands on her or that he's not a piece of s*** but you don't get to shoot people just because they're a piece of s***.

[@MrsRitchieBlackmore]

@@robertstone9988 She'd endured his rampages before and knew when he turned around, he'd attack and possibly kill her. She's a woman and smaller/weaker than he was. She stood no chance in a violent physical confrontation so the only way she could protect herself was from a distance. I would have acted the same as her.

[@dee8714]

@@MrsRitchieBlackmore She didn’t know anything. She shot him in the back when he was no threat to her. You can’t shoot someone because you ‘think’ they might do something to you.

[@puketinmoarliek994]

@@robertstone9988 he would’ve murdered her

[@robertstone9988]

@@puketinmoarliek994 with his back? How? How is a man with his back to you a threat?

[@TheThora17]

Great analysis Dr Grande! Your statements about alcohol always escaping responsibility, and being the planet's most forgiven offender are absolutely bang on... very well put!

[@miqa5911]

Another great vid! 👍 I appreciate your take on things

[@danielescobar7618]

thanks Sabrina for not reporting it and costing taxpayers millions

[@suegardner9907]

Great analysis, Dr. Grande.

[@rondillard1121]

Dr. Grande is two of my favorite shows in one: Forensic Files and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Thank you, sir!

[@marlinfisher2529]

Excellent analysis.

[@robertgiles9124]

Alcohol, guns, knives, fighting....fun times. How did I miss out on all this drama in my life? Such a common situation.

[@yellowjacket5995]

Today's question is, can you analyze the case of Robert Giles? Robert Giles is currently on trial for an overkill he got last year.

[@michaeljoseph3528]

Great analysis 👍

[@m.f.richardson1602]

Always interesting. Thank you Peace 💕🇺🇲

[@skreemqueen7520]

Excellent analysis. I agree completely.

[@valoriebroderick]

I'm glad you said what you did about alcohol. It needed to be said.

[@brianbauer2595]

Another masterpiece video, Dr. Grande. Your the best.

[@kimmccabe1422]

Once watching one Dr.Grande episode you're there all day lol. Thank you. It's alot of work

[@priscillaportenier3962]

Really good … as always ❤️

[@dsmthbb]

Also, especially in a felony or other serious situation, it’s not a good idea to talk to the police. Ever. It is your right.

[@joni8090]

So glad you made it Sabrina 💖

[@Alexi_Texas]

Anytime a cop is speaking to you, it’s to gather evidence that they will use against you.

[@shanemcfadden6427]

Alcohol, the most forgiven offender. Truer words have never been spoken Dr.Grande.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

Denial, hope, and embarrassment kept me in an abusive relationship for 6 years. I left when I realized it was going to lead to a situation where one of us died. I wasn't willing for it to be me.

[@MoonWomanStudios]

Same. I realized I needed to figure out a plan to leave when I started dropping Xanax in his coffee so he'd be nice to me.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

@@MoonWomanStudios hahahaha I wish I had thought of that. The random guns he bought us as wedding gifts for me and him before we got married should've been a real clue that he was planning something

[@FrankBenlin]

Too bad for you that it took six years. Good for you that you didn't commit murder to get out. You figured another way out.

[@shethingsd]

I wrote a poem about the day my emotionally abusive husband ambushed me and hit me in the back of the head with a cast iron frying pan. He left for2days and I woke up in a pool of blood. He'd never put his hands on me before, not even a little. And my last lines in the poem were. I knew someone would die. And for once I didn't want it to be me. This was in 2004. I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist with a special interest in intimate partner violence and a master self defense instructor. I used to think IPV was on a scale, but I try to inform women that once it's abusive in any way, it can ramp up unexpectedly. I'm glad you got out.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

@@shethingsd I'm so sorry that happened to you!!!! Holy cow!!! It sounds like you really turned what happened into a force for good. You should be proud of yourself, I know I am proud of you!

[@susanbelair89]

I’m so glad you mentioned alcohol’s involvement in this case and in so many others. It seemed to be a huge factor here. Those poor children should attend Al-Anon meetings at some point in their lives to get the help they will need to process this tragedy.

[@littlefox8352]

You missed one... the person believes they deserve to be hurt, because they were raised in an environment that reinforced that idea (truth) every day. "Of course he knocked me out, I was asking him to come to bed... I am annoying and it was only natural he hit me." Meanwhile it was because he wanted you to fall asleep so that he could cheat on you, and he was horry so you got hit!

[@dr.sammypryor]

I lived with an abusive spouse for 7 years. It wasn't until I was almost murdered when I reported the abuse! Every victim of domestic violence knows if they report the abuse when they go back, it will be Hell, so we don't! We just endure until we are killed, or we find a way to break the trauma bond and actual leave this person!