My Best Friend Broke Up With His Fiancée After She Accused Us of Cheating... | Reddit Updates

[@okmeowokmeow]

Just to point out - Emily saying "If you love Troy, you will step back and let me have him", majorly rubbed me the wrong way.

[@yuppie6401]

It's not technically a bad thing to say or think. Emily is basically saying, If OP loves troy she'll happily let him be with Emily without feeling like Troy should be with OP 24/7

[@thisisafilleracc3140]

in the face of abuse and s*icide, i understand them being unhealthily reliant on each other. its a good thing they're willing to correct their behavior.

[@mannydcbianco]

100% this. While there was absolutely nothing romantic or untoward going on between OP and Troy, the way they behaved was hugely unhealthy and disrespectful towards Emily. Their codependence is very unhealthy. Good ending.

[@Rorschachqp]

You said it all. 😊

[@bukworm]

"I think I'll join a group for co-dependence." Made me laugh so hard lol

[@pastxmas]

"But we don't wanna go to the same one." Bahahahahahahaha

[@ayasoku]

This is a super complicated situation but the ultimate one who’s at fault here is Troy. Ignoring your partner while with your friends for days at a time? Leaving your fiancé DURING COVID to be with your best friend and then simultaneously not leaving because of COVID restrictions? Just an overall trashy guy, but they’re in their 20s so that’s to be expected. I hope he learned something from and that they move from their codependency.

[@mogwai247]

That's a perfect end. Everyone is in therapy. Girlfriend's getting her control/jealousy in check. Friends are working on spending more time independently and healing from their buddy's death. Guy's working on communication. Just all around what everyone in the situation needed.

[@eurodanc3r]

They’re definitely trauma bonded

[@softmongreal]

RIGHT?! LMAO 😭 i just hope it gets better for the both of them

[@moxvist8206]

Troy def needs to work things, Emily was so patient 💀 like why tf was he travelling with covid and then stay there for idk how long??? Bruhhh and then ofc him ignoring his gf for days cause buddy's in town? One thing is personal space and haging out, the other is completely ignore ur partner

[@pretzelicious4200]

He stayed in your house and you went to a couch? OP is so out of touch, fr

[@HaninYahaya]

I am reading y’all’s comments and I am so grateful we have different mentality 😂 I would never be jealous of another woman who was in my partner’s life way before I come in. Especially since they made it clear they see each other as siblings. Making your man choose between you and his “sister” is weird asf

[@nunusthoughts]

But it's not his sister??? you be surprised how many people used "she's like a sister to me!" excuse then go cheat on their partners of course I'm glad that you feel comfortable with partner when it comes to that but don't blame people who don't.

[@stormkive4356]

especially when theyre grieving a dead friend together! its genuinely upsetting that ppl think having a romantic partner means having all ur other relationships crash and burn instead of the romantic partner just, idk, processing their hurt/jealous feelings a bit and talking it out? like im sry but no partner being insecure is gonna make me feel okay with ditching my friend whos in the position OP is in. if i were troy, id genuinely fear losing op too. the gf is being immature as hell

[@eurodanc3r]

I understand your perspective, however op said that troy would literally ignore his fiance when they all hung out together

[@jamijenkins3507]

@@eurodanc3r But they encouraged him to spend time with her.

[@HaninYahaya]

then it wouldn’t be the same case as this. Being lied to by someone shouldn’t make you see everyone as liars 😅Heal.

[@-rennea-1371]

Im confused on why he was allowed to stay in her apartment and she left to go sleep on another persons couch…

[@guesswho7881]

Also he stayed an extra few weeks when she went back

[@-rennea-1371]

@ literally then when the said they got back together and she could come back she really had the audacity to say “is emily okay with that?” Like girl its UR apartment he needed to be the one to leave tf

[@guesswho7881]

In the update she’s convinced him to go back and they got him a ticket within 3 days, plus he was going back for Florida, Florida was one of the few states that didn’t have lockdown

[@-rennea-1371]

@ if she was able to find a friend to go sleep at their im sure he definitely could’ve done exact same thing

[@bc8796]

Well OP mentioned that she is in a different state. It's likely Troy didn't really have anyone he knew that well there besides Op. And rather than spending money on a hotel(that might have been locked down/full capacity because of COVID)Op can crash at a coworker/friends and he can stay at her apartment.

[@bennett879]

No one talking about how she got accused of her friend and her cheating when Emily could idk cheating on him and wanted to blame him if he ever found out

[@brooke4782]

If my boyfriend flew states away to comfort another women and live with her for weeks to months on end I would lose my shit. It's clear Troy never let OP and his gf know each other, so trust can't be build. Guy and Girls can be friends but when you refuse to let your partner know them it's a red flag.

[@BrennaDraws]

you'd loose your shit over your spuse loosing one of his best friends to a traumatic death, then choosing to comfort his other best friend.? I really don't get jeaous people. If you can't trust your partner then you shouldn't be with them. If you think keeping your partner from grieving with their loved ones is healthy, you shouldn't be in a relationship full stop. This is why there are so many toic relationships out there. Communicate, instead of blowing up over your insecuruties. People aren't going to fuck someone they see as their sister right after their 'brother' died. It's such a weird mindset people have.

[@mafer4443]

Something tells me Troy wants to have his cake here. He wants both of them, it really gives me a lot of red flags.

[@MoulderingMortal]

Thier friend commiting s is horrible, but moving in with op and for several weeks? Thats Weird. It makes sense the girlfriend would think they were cheating. I mean this horrible thing happened, the two of them are alone together in grief, one thing could lead to another.... its just odd. Also, op says they need time apart so hes living in her apartment instead of going back to his, and shes living with a coworker. Ok so then covid and he stays with op longer.... this is super weird

[@AsterSkotos]

So glad this is a somewhat happy ending. If my fiance told me to choose between my bestfriend or her, I'd choose my best friend any day. Glad they're rebuilding trust between Troy and fiance and OP and Troy trying dependency

[@ZaRealWorld]

What if your bestfriend told you to choose between her and your fiance?

[@tyron2854]

In a marriage, your partner is supposed to be your best friend lol, I feel sorry for any future spouse of yours💁

[@AsterSkotos]

@tyron2854 is it really your bestfriend if she accused you of cheating without proof? If she doesn't trust you?

[@valenparodi9219]

​@@AsterSkotosIf you have Troy's attitude, it's very difficult not to think otherwise. That guy can't be in a serious relationship with other priorities

[@RemixerUltimate]

@@tyron2854anyone who gives you an ultimatum does not have your best interest at heart, and it’s an unhealthy relationship regardless.

[@kellyjohnson4452]

Ugh she's probably a jealous and controlling girlfriend. They literally lost a friend the worst way and he was worried about his best friend, who just happened to be a female. If OP was a dude she wouldn't have cared. Whatever. Even the fact he didnt want to go back home. He knows that relationship is wrong, but he felt guilty cause if his girlfriend's manipulation.

[@valenparodi9219]

Why does it seem like you're trying to shift the blame off of Troy? He literally ignored his FIANCEE to be with his friends under the excuse that he doesn't see them everyday. Also, obviously these are two different situations because apparently Troy is straight, he is less likely to be attracted to his male friend than to his female friend. Emily is justified in feeling insecure about Troy's attitudes, she even pointed out that Adam and OP seemed to dislike her. And let's not mention that in the middle of the pandemic he went to comfort another woman in ANOTHER STATE. For me that is very crazy Emily felt insecure about the two friends because she was her fiancé's priority.

[@m.a.2658]

No the problem is, she’s not his girlfriend. She’s his fiancée, that means he is supposed to prioritize her and he doesn’t do that. He didn’t invite the poster to come stay with them, instead he just up and moved out to go be with the poster. Troy left his supposed life partner alone, not allowing her to be there for him when that’s what they’re agreeing to do for each other till they die.

[@latajaneev]

Yeah it’s weird. I’m glad they are getting therapy because wtf

[@kristentaylor5359]

Weird, the OP deleted their account on Reddit

[@juliacovfefe]

That’s a lot of diagnoses

[@tyron2854]

Troy was trying to get with you, he will leave the other girl whenever you decide you want him lol

[@gracehouse1438]

Y’all are out of touch 😂 Troy, OP, and Adam had been friends for over 10 years at this point and have went through everything together. They literally lived together for months before college, they were as close as siblings. It was all laid out for Emily when she started dating Troy. It wasn’t OP or Adam who excluded Emily from the hangouts, it was Troy. And I have friends who do this with their significant others, simply because they’re insecure and don’t want others talking to their partner. They lost Adam in a horrific way, of course Emily isn’t going to be able to fully understand the impact it has on Troy the way that OP does. He didn’t drop everything for a random person he met on the street, he dropped everything to grieve with his sister.

[@m.a.2658]

Are you engaged/married? Because Troy is. That’s a commitment to think of your partner first and always. Now, that’s not the same thing as only thinking about your partner, but he has shown a pattern of ignoring/disrespecting Emily’s feelings, and even if he’s grieving he’s still doing that by moving out of their apartment to live with someone else during a pandemic. The appropriate solution was to let OP move in with him and Emily if anything. But the fact that he dropped Emily, his supposed life partner, to go be with OP is completely messed up. OP and Troy are able to acknowledge that by the end of the story, so everyone else should be able to acknowledge it as well.

[@grazibaggio5172]

I smell... he wants both women

[@zoeb3573]

People saying him moving in to comfort he is weird have a weird mentality. If he went to check and stay with a male friend he believed was suicidal after losing another friend to suicide, and that friend had make genitals, no one would care and they'd even praise him for being a good friend, but because she has a vagina it's wrong? Priorities.... The girlfriend giving him that ultimatum when he's in mourning is fucked.

[@m.a.2658]

I disagree completely. It IS weird regardless of gender because he is literally supposed to be getting married to Emily. That’s not just his girlfriend, it’s his fiancée, and he moves out of their apartment and moves in with someone else during a pandemic? Yes he’s grieving along with his friend, but I feel like if anything, OP going to stay with them could have been appropriate, but this is Troy repeating the pattern of completely leaving Emily in the cold for his friend(s). And it is messed up as the op acknowledged. No Emily isn’t going through the same thing, but she and Troy agreed to do life together, so Troy should allow Emily to be there for him. I do agree the ultimatum isn’t right, but Troy’s behavior is problematic especially since it started before Adam’s death.

[@RenTsumi]

Troy is weird af.

[@HernanMartinez-n8l]

Were the poof of cheating

[@rodrigomercado5044]

Troy's girlfriend is a walking 🚩🚩🚩 imo. If you ever try to make me choose between my friends and my relationship, it's clear to me you don't respect my friendships and that we won't have any future together. Even more so in a situation like OP's where the bond is deeper than most of us can relate to. I'd bet my life that Adam was alive and he was the one that needed support, his gf woulda keep their mouth shut.

[@Melissa-hd3jr]

So if your girlfriend decides to go live with another man you would be totally ok with it?

[@spiciichillii1704]

Troy's girlfriend was in the right, her boyfriend ran to another woman's house and then refused to acknowledge her feelings. If it was Adam that would be a different situation, but going to another woman's house is weird. And with all the stories about girl best friends and the cheating there, she's in the right to be uncomfortable. Even OP and Troy acknowledge their relationship was unhealthy and know the girlfriend is in the right. So, I don't get your point.

[@rodrigomercado5044]

@@Melissa-hd3jr buddy it's her best friend who's housed and went through hell and beyond together, atp might as well consider them family. if you can't differentiate between that and a random person you really aren't mature enough to be on a relationship to begin with.

[@rodrigomercado5044]

@@spiciichillii1704 so it's Troy's fault that he's a good friend that actually cares and is present for the people that he's been friends for years before knowing that girl? if your partner is trying to cope a traumatic experience like the loss of one of the most important persons in their life and the only thing you can think of it's cheating stories then you're not only selfish but clearly you don't even have trust in your relationship to begin with.

[@spiciichillii1704]

@@rodrigomercado5044 Trust or not, no one's gonna let their significant other sleep in a house alone with a person of the opposite gender. He could check up on her over the phone but he hopped on a flight mid covid to go be with her, that's suspicious to anyone. And when his girlfriend said she felt uncomfortable with it, he got angry at her for voicing her feelings. And he never made an effort to let her get to know his friends to build that trust in the first place, it's only natural that the trust wasn't there if he made her feel unwanted when those friends came along. OP and Troy admitted it was weird of them and that they were codependent, I don't get why you're batting for them so hard. I wouldn't ask him to cut her off if that were me but running to her like that is weird.

[@ai_d_in]

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