My Best Friend Didn't Invite Me To Her Wedding Despite Inviting All Our Co-Workers r/Relationships

[@MW-on1ft]

Story 1, "Never cross an ocean for someone who wouldn't cross a puddle for you."

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

That sister needs therapy. She's vile

[@lilolmecj]

100%

[@sterngerlach9184]

@@lilolmecj Vile sister anagram is live evil.

[@glass9137]

S2: sounds like the sister convinced herself that mom was 100% cheating and took the anger out on her by going nuclear and blaming OP too. She’s all kinds of crazy and that needs to be addressed asap.

[@mikilacunningham6259]

Yeah this girl is bad shit crazy & may be in lust w her dad..... All little girls start off by stating dad is bf, I'm marrying Daddy baby talk Around 8 & up it's a boy band or a famous somebody.... Instead of picking characteristics of the great dad in how she wants to be treated by a male& guys in general... If dad is a truly great guy he'd see his daughter as a human w human feelings... He'd make that stance know to his daughter from a young age 'that's my wife' ur my daughter boundary...

[@FairyLadyQuelaag]

I don't know about everyone else, but I wanna know why she was so adamant that their mother was cheating and why she watched the full video so many times when she could have just screenshot the hands and feet and then gone to look at her dads hands and feet.

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 1: Glad to see a positive update for Op. Story 2: The sister clearly has something against her mom and is extremely vindictive. I also agree with the Op that's creepy af because the sister most likely did rewatch the video.

[@kaykay8855]

I want to give the sister the benefit of the doubt because she thought her mom was cheating on their dad.

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 2: 100%. Sister wants it to be cheating for some reason. Regardless of whether it is cheating or not, the best option is to sit down and talk about it calmly. You don't start with the nuclear option.

[@kaykay8855]

@@MisterNightfish I checked the og post on Reddit, apparently the sister loves drama.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I bet the daughter is jealous of her mother and wants daddy all to herself. The mom just needs to ignore her and pretend she doesn't have a daughter.

[@kaykay8855]

@@MaryTheresa1986 that’s a little extreme. I don’t think op’s sister wants that kind of attention from her father.

[@MizTameRumors]

First OP honestly doesn't know how cool she is, stood up for herself with absolutely no drama, and made the shitty situation into a chance for growth. That's healthy, mature, lovely behavior.

[@AverageDOTA]

agreed! she seems to lack a lot of self awareness initially with where/what the relationship is/was with the "friend" that didn't invited her to the wedding but has since came a long way

[@achocolatebiscuit5087]

That's true. Even the old OP is someone I envy. I hold grudges forever. It's probably because of trauma and a strong sense of justice. This has only brought me misery though. Op is so calm and mostly devoid of anger.

[@sfx387]

Honestly, that last story with the parents' sex tape, gives the vibe that mum might have been the hesitant party in its creation and dad's ok and able to 'get over it' because 1) his children didn't really see him in a compromising position and 2) was not essentially accused of being a cheater by his kids. I just feel so sorry for the mum. Even OPs writing doesn't seem to have much sympathy towards why mum needs some time alone. I hope she's doing ok. The sister seems to be the kind of person who would bring it up "as a funny memory" ..."Do you remember the time we thought we found mum's cheating sex tape?" I hope they can all move past this as a family.

[@maggpiprime954]

That's a lot of very good points. What a bunch of jerks. Poor mum.

[@mothercabbagepatch3344]

I feel so sorry for the mum. I wonder if sister had previous issues with the mum considering sh

[@mothercabbagepatch3344]

She went so nuclear without proof.

[@jillimi]

I’m glad I read this before listening to the second story, I think I’d feel really uncomfortable listening it, so I better pass.

[@krishanpaul2]

@@jillimi yea same. too cringe for me.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 2: I’m surprised sis watched long enough to even come up with the theory that mom was cheating. The moment I saw my mom nearly naked, I would have slammed the laptop closed and never opened it again. It sounds she wanted her mom to be a cheater for some reason.

[@TailsFan]

Maybe she wants the Two Christmases that you get from divorced parents. 🙄

[@ineedhoez]

Omg.... You brought back things I buried

[@mothercabbagepatch3344]

I think I would need intensive therapy after three seconds of that video😂 I can't imagine watching the whole thing.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Sister is probably a redditor.

[@BNezzy]

i got the same vibes. sister needs help.

[@tamarasmith9060]

Story 2: The sister needs therapy or something. She insisted it had to be cheating & went to the parents in a confrontational way rather than OP's suggestion. Then she deliberately went back on her word & threw OP under the bus, tried to make it seem like OP thought the same thing rather than letting OP be out of it. It's like the sister loves stirring things up.

[@onurkneezb]

My first instinct is to think the sister is projecting her own behaviors onto her mom...

[@ChrisAndCats]

I feel sorry for the mother having her child automatically assume she's a terrible person.

[@ChrisAndCats]

@OriginalContent89 yes, it would hurriedly be shut down, rather than keep watching. That part is very strange.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

The real lesson is to not make sex tapes. Second one is to not jump to conclusions.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

If I was OP I would have told my mother that I was shown a portion of the video and shut it down. I didn't believe she was cheating and thought it was gross watching my parents have sex, which is why I didn't finish it. I would have thrown my sister under the bus. The sister definitely needs to get therapy and learn not to snoop on other people's computers.

[@sagesaria]

I love how the sister in the last story IMMEDIATELY threw OP under the bus when it went bad for her, even when she swore she'd take accountability for finding the video.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

True. And remember, she was snooping to begin with! She was supposed to be using the laptop for a school thing, that didn't give her the right to open mom's personal files.

[@dahliadolores9903]

Siblings bro. I’ve drop kicked my brother under a bus many a day. He’s my built in accomplice.

[@averycheesypotato]

@@dahliadolores9903 No, that’s not normal sibling behaviour. I have one sister who would constantly throw me under the bus, just for her own entertainment. We don’t speak anymore.

[@TI3RU]

@@averycheesypotatoagreed, I love both my sisters in part because we would NEVER do something like that to each other

[@cyndib511]

​@@averycheesypotatoexactly. My sister is my partner in crime who would help me bury the body and establish an alibi. Even my brother, who I don't get along with most of the time would do anything in his power to keep me out of trouble and I would do the same for him. These type of siblings are why there are so many families with members who go no contact.

[@bessieburnet9816]

Story 2: I was entertained by the sheer wildnesss of that story, but my heart broke hearing the mum's reaction. Damn, hope she'll be alright.

[@Steampunkkids]

Then, why make a sex tape that her kids could find in the first place? It just doesn’t make sense to me!

[@ultraviolet2447]

@@Steampunkkids With how crazy this sister sounds I wouldn’t be surprised if she specifically went snooping for something like this to accuse her mom. Also a lot of older people don’t fully understand technology. Not trying to excuse it because I do agree they should have found a better place for it but just my thinking.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@Steampunkkids 'Cause is *their* sex life? Why else? Parents are not just parents. They're a couple as well. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Their mistake was not storing that video file in a safe and separate account/laptop and/or encrypt it. This would've prevented either of their children from getting their hands on that video.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

​@@Steampunkkids This is why sex tapes are generally a bad idea. But this is 100% on the sister for being a complete nutjob. Seriously, the sister is 21 and this seems to have been done to hurt the mom and ruin her marriage and possibly her life. And she threw her brother under the bus as well. This seems to go past simple immaturity. The sister needs some kind of help.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

I feel for the mom, but let this be a lesson for any parents with sex tapes. Don’t let your kids use the device your videos are on or store them on something else. lol

[@Girl-Supersonicboy]

That last story sure went sideways. Sister clearly wanted to start drama, hoping she wouldn't be caught up in it, and then epically fell right into the turd she created. After this I wouldn't trust OP's sister the same way again. Something feels off about her, or it could just be my distrust for people who act like the sister; snoopers, bus dodgers, etc.

[@xelectrix]

It's weird that she jumped straight to cheating and that she watched it multiple times. Therapy for everyone but especially her.

[@Steampunkkids]

I disagree. If the Mom had been cheating, everyone would be saying how it was wrong that OP didn’t help the sister expose the Mom. The sister was correct to confront the parents. The father had the right to know if his wife was cheating. If the Mom knew she would be mortified if her kids ever found the video and watched it, she should never have made the video to begin with. Mom is an adult. If she consented to making the video, then she consented to the repercussions. The same thing for the Dad. He also consented to the consequences if his kids would find it. And, kids usually find it.

[@jessicaolson490]

I mean lots of adults share nude pics or vids without thinking about later. They can also make those things prior to having kids, not ever expecting future kids to then find the tape/photos. It must be part of human nature because as soon as they invented photographs you have people taking nude photos. And it's only gotten easier for people to do it. In fact now it has to be conversation with your child before they become older that the internet is forever and they need to be careful of things like taking pictures and sharing them with others. 😣

[@Tammohawk1]

I found out how true my friends are when I lost my husband suddenly 4 yrs. ago. One friend drove over 4 hours just to come and hold me through the night. I'll never forget that. And when it's her turn, I'll be the one holding her through the night. That's what real friendships is all about. My other friends have been here supporting me through some of my darkest moments.

[@wrenpeach6707]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you had a good friend there for you in your time of need ❤

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

Same. I was trying to decide between a couple of guys. One was my ex husband who wanted me back, but couldn't take a morning to drive to my father's funeral. The other was a guy I had been dating who had moved across the country to be with his son, but took a flight out to be with me for a week. Guess which one I'm married to now.

[@tiffinyanderson4403]

I found out mine when I was going through breast cancer. Though one long time bff surprised me this past year and hurt me to the core. We both have older sons and each have a later in life son who are close. Our youngest experienced severe bullying and death threats. We advocated for him and got him into therapy and he was doing so much better until he broke last summer. He admitted he had been saying what the therapist and we wanted to hear and using all of his energy to be smart, likeable, funny etc. he had severe depression and anxiety and tried to end his life three times. We were a family in crisis. We finally made the decision to send him to a center for emotional healing and it’s a boarding school only a few hours away. He asked to go. She knew almost everything that had happened yet she carried on without supporting us. I called her out on it before Christmas and she responded by wanting to send material items. After Christmas when I saw all of the get togethers with our friends she hosted I sent her a message saying what I needed to say. She reacted with anger. I didn’t because it just hurts so much when the one person you think won’t hurt you and claims to love you and your family and child in question doesn’t give a crap. After my breast cancer in 2020 I had cultivated a smaller group of friends of all ages. I still have that group but I never expected my bff to do what she did. I’m truly sorry for your loss. I’m really glad your true friend(s) showed up when you needed her. ❤

[@AA-ed6ek]

If my friend doesn't do that I'm fine. I don't expect them to drop everything when they can't, for me.

[@ZombieSazza]

Bro story 2 is beyond creepy, OPs sister was watching her parents video REPEATEDLY, WTF?! OP didn’t want dragged into this BS but her sister dragged her into this anyway? God just WTF?! Like there’s needing therapy and then there’s whatever THIS is!

[@AngelaVEdwards]

I don't find the brother creepy. He was shown the video; he didn't deliberately go looking for it and he told his sister that the man is probably his dad. What's creepy about any of that?

[@Lauria2875]

@@AngelaVEdwards they said the sister watching the video over and over was creepy. That her trying to drag him into it is creepy. Nowhere did they say the brother was creepy.

[@aengusdedanann181]

@@Lauria2875 i think They took "bro story 2" to mean "bro in story 2"

[@ComaLies225]

Sister in story 2 sounds like she low key loves drama. Like gee girl, have more grace for your mom. Also happy for OP in the update to story 1.

[@tombrady5587]

Lol 100%. She said previously she would take the blame if anyone tried incriminating OP, but she did the exact opposite and pushed OP into the firing line when push came to shove.

[@taotechong]

For a second I went full weird reddit brain and thought the sister was going to say "that's not Dad. Dad's D--- doesn't look like that"

[@webshiva]

@@tombrady5587It wasn’t clear whether the sister was really apologetic or just pissed she wasn’t right. The minute OP’s sister realized her mom was in a sex tape she should have stopped. Rewatching multiple times was pervy as fuck. When OP has a chance he should explain to his mother that he didn’t watch the video multiple times and only tried to mitigate the damage he thought his sister might create. There is a strong chance that OP’s sister has permanently ruined her relationship with her mother. If OP’s sister lives at home and her parents pay for her schooling, she may have find another way to get through school.

[@tombrady5587]

@@webshiva To clarify, I'm not saying having a conversation with the parents was wrong. In fact, I'd say it was right. What I'm saying was absolutely wrong is for the sister got OP into the mess despite promising the opposite. So, from if you're in trouble I'll protect you, to even if you're not in trouble I'll get you into trouble. That's just sad lol

[@sterngerlach9184]

Agree, sister Loki loves drama.

[@Iflie]

Sister needs to know about all the zillions of kids who found their parents sex tapes back in the "i need a old tape to record this fast" days or VCR's. I guess she only knows about cheating stories. Chances are SO much higher it's your parents together on there than a secret affair. It's funny she can't even tell her own father's feet are his and that led to this whole issue.

[@waitwhat1029]

... I'm not arguing but i'm pretty sure I could not recognize my dad by his feet alone. Lol! I don't really spend too much time staring at them...

[@Iflie]

@@waitwhat1029 I think feet are gross but I have certainly spend enough time seeing the ones from the people close to me to know what they look like. And hands. Maybe her father always wore socks but then why would she be so sure they are not his?

[@ginathecookie]

Yeah Most would have no idea and say so So odd (the sister, not you. Some people focus on set things and that is more than fine.) ​@@Iflie

[@Iflie]

@@ginathecookie I think it's normal here to rest your feet on a footstool or table when there's only family around, plus open shoes in summer. So you just see feet all the time even if you don't want to, haha. My mom used to think it was funny to wave hers in front of my view because she knew how gross I thought they are. And we used to joke when my godmom showed her bare feet it would start a thunderstorm. (extreme hot days often go before a storm)

[@Lauria2875]

My dad wears shoes all the time due to diabetes. Putting on shoes is the first thing he does every morning. @@Iflie

[@angelalee7012]

I had this happen to me. Someone I worked with and thought I was friends with for NINE YEARS didn't invite me to her wedding. My best friend asked her why I wasn't invited and she said "she just never made that much of an impression on me." Well, okay. I wasn't hurt about the lack of invite at that point (because I do strongly believe you can invite who you want to your own wedding) but it did sting when she invited someone she had actively complained about and disliked. That was a kick in the ribs. It was then I realised that our friendship was only important to her when she needed something from me. That's a hard no contact for her now.

[@dm-jf5uu]

Similar thing happened to me

[@AndyyWithAY]

People like the "friend" in story 1 are so weird. What was the point in not inviting OP when they work together. Super proud of her growth post update.

[@VesnaVK]

I'm sad that OP never realized that her "friend" is a horrible person.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Kind of wondering 💭 what the so called friends backstory is. Why doesn’t she like op ?

[@VesnaVK]

@@lifewithlee6298 she doesn't dislike OP. She's just a narcissist. She used OP extensively, and now that she has enough other friends with other residual benefits (status, money, or whatever), she doesn't need OP anymore.

[@clarabp2613]

And when she was talking about the wedding with her. Is like party 101, you don't talk about a party with someone who is not invited

[@philwill0123]

Usually jealousy. OP was the "lower" friend who needed help.OP then thrives and friend decides to put OP "back in her place". Friend has a power trip. You can bet Friend tells everyone how she got OP her job (rather than just telling her she just told her there was an opportunity).

[@kittymellisaqueen]

Bruh the sister needs help. Also why did she drag op down with her like that? I would not talk to the sister until she gets some help.

[@lindah3803]

Keep in mind, sister is going to or has run her mouth to other people about this. No way she hasn't.

[@UnicornOfDepression]

Friendships are like flowers, resilient but delicate. One brings water, and the other brings sunshine. Without the other, or an overabundance of only one, the flower dies.

[@NancyPollyCy]

First story: there is a difference between being friends and being friendly. It sounds like OP is finally understanding the difference!

[@Nikephorus]

I recall reading story 1 on Reddit. The latest update was quite drama-free. Kudos to the OP for recognizing the one-sided nature of the friendship. It's always disheartening when you realize a friendship holds more significance for you than the other person, leading you to make the difficult decision to let it go.

[@sergeipohkerova7211]

I'm betting that four years after the wedding , the fake friend is already divorced or trending in that direction.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Not really

[@nadirimyers6643]

I will take that bet and double it lol

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Considering she's still at the company and have had two kids, you are way off. Glad OP has become less of a doormat though.

[@catsncrows]

Not so far as of the update but it sounds that she will use people up emotionally and have to replace them like kleenex. It doesn't make for good long term friendships. She also may be a future self absorbed parent to adult children who are more and more than in past generations learning to distance themselves

[@lifewithlee6298]

Or is scrolling for another person to dump troubles on

[@MiniKitty27]

story 2: "i will be the only one to get in trouble your name won't even be mentioned" yeah how'd that work out? the sister was going to throw her under the bus either way: a) mom was cheating and sister was right so she throws OP under the bus with "OP also knew the entire time i did and they wanted to hide it" or what actually played out b) OP was right that the mom didn't cheat so she drags OP down with her to help alleviate her own shame and embarrassment

[@alyssabryan2443]

story 1 made me realise that i dont have real friendships i have friendly people but not people who i can actually depend on other than family and my boyfriend

[@carolrondou6161]

😢

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story two: People, especially parents... If you're going to do the horizontal tango and film it, learn to encrypt it. And have a separate account or a separate PC/laptop for those NSFW videos. You don't want someone stumbling upon that. Much less your children. Also, the older sister shouldn't have dragged OP into this. And OP mentioning that the sister watched the video various times bothers me. 😨

[@dimsufferer9951]

Honestly, watching it multiple times makes the sister seem like a pervert

[@michamocha]

Story 2: It sounds like the sister was overzealous in handling things. To me, she just sounds weirdly excited for the drama and worse case scenario because if she was really sincere and worried, wouldn't she be more acceptable to Op's ideas that would've saved them from embarrassing the mom but letting the dad know of the video's existence??? The idea of stumbling upon it "accidentally" would've killed two birds with one stone and had the least amount of backlash in this situation. I feel bad for the mom though. I would've been horrifed too if I was in her shoes. Hopefully next time, she'll take better care of hiding things on devices she lets her kids use but considering that the video was years old, the parents probably forgot all about it lol.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I think the pretend to find it option was the best. The sister did the worst possible thing. She seriously needs a lot of help. Repeatedly watching her mom's sex tape, accusing the mom of cheating. She went nuclear for no reason. It being the dad really was the most logical and obvious. I feel so bad for the mom

[@curtisalex456]

Now, the mom knows exactly what her daughter thinks of her and She can act accordingly. As they say: Forgive but do not forget.

[@valgardener7656]

This option is best: 1) Turn it off the INSTANT you realize what it is. 2) Go to dad right away and say, "Dad, sorry, I think maybe you and mom left something on this computer that shouldn't be here". 3) Show him the filename, and 4) Walk away quickly. End of problem. But if you start off by watching the entire video over and over and over again trying to dig up dirt to ruin your mother's life and marriage with, then nothing you do from that point on is going to salvage the situation.

[@HardcoreLevelingBaka]

Plus, she went out of her way to drag OP into it, even though they wanted nothing to do with it, despite promising to take full blame if the parents got mad.

[@ynmonroe]

@@HardcoreLevelingBaka Yep. Sis seems pretty malicious and vindictive. I don't know anyone that would have wanted to watch repeatedly no matter if they thought it was cheating or they thought it was just a sex tape. For what? And then to blatantly lie that OP was "in on it" is despicable. OP needs to sit his parents down and tell them the truth. That he didn't watch all the way through and that he tried to convince his sister to stop and to leave it alone. I wouldn't be a fall guy in this situation, that's for sure.

[@ArmageddonAngel]

I believe the sister had an existing bad relationship with mom and that's why she went off guns blazing. She wants so bad to expose mom to justify her bad relationship.

[@BoringTroublemaker]

Story 1: Op handled that extremely gracefully and with a tremendous amount of self-awareness and maturity. Bravo

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Story 1: OP only imagined the other gal was a good friend, and was definitely a longtime doormat. Glad she woke up finally.

[@valgardener7656]

Story 2: If this is real, big sister has got the be the nastiest piece of work on the planet. Her behavior is not normal, and nothing for Dad to be laughing at.

[@FeliciaCravens]

A Taker just recently 'broke up' with me as a friend, so all this advice from OP hits different. Thanks for this one as I process the 'loss'.

[@joeschmo622]

_"Woohoo! So now the trash takes itself out! I'm free!!"_

[@catT5236]

Story 2: I'm sorry but if I accidentally stumbled on a sex tape from my parents or even my friends, the second I realised what it was I would slam that laptop lid so fast it would be in danger of crashing through the desk all the while I'd be screaming "Ahhhh! My eyes! MY EYES!! I NEED BRAIN BLEACH! AAAHHHHHH!!!!" Probably on repeat until someone sedated me. Who in the everloving f**k watches the whole thing REPEATEDLY?! What the actual hell is wrong with the sister? Why is she so quickly jumping to the thought her mother is cheating, why is she snooping in the first place? What was she looking for? It's almost like she WANTS her mother to be cheating. This is so weird. That girl needs therapy.

[@destinedtogame]

Sister gives off some strange mommy Dom vibes

[@jmac5951]

Story 2: why are people always sticking their noses in someone else's business? Why was the daughter so determined to believe her mother was cheating. The daughter sounds awful.

[@Tony2-Dirty]

Then to even drag OP in it, even after she said that she’d take full blame if they got mad.

[@patriciahansen6032]

First story: I've had two or three one-sided "friendships." They kind of sneak up me and it's a long time before I realize what's going on. I'm a pretty intelligent person, and I still had it happen. I'm glad OP figured it out before it went on much longer. She sounds like a very good person who's learned a lot about herself. Last story: they should have closed the file and left it alone. I was talking back to the screen the whole time. Don't say anything, just shut up and let it go. But nooooo, and now they have a mess to clean up. Some people just need to learn to mind their own damn business.

[@cantduckinbelieveit7426]

Story one: I remember hearing this story before. That “friend” was shit. Glad OP distanced themselves from them. Also, OP is just a genuinely good person. Not wanting to upset their former friend on their special day. On a personal note I had a “friend” like that myself and they were just a crap “friend”. They only called me when something bad happened and they needed to trauma dump. So I stepped away. OP is right by the way. Turing 30 helped me not give a fuck about what ppl think about me. Congratulations to OP. Hope your life is amazing. ♥️. Story 2: what. Just …no. Ew. What they had initially decided to do was a good idea. That sister is a little unhinged. The “computer was running slow” story was a good idea. They should’ve gone with that.

[@LunaMane]

In regards to Story #2, the sister doesn't sound like she could find herself in a mirror if we're gonna be honest. So you can't expect her to think on her feet.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Wait until you turn 60; life is a hoot! For sure, part of that milestone is the joy in knowing what needs my attention and energy, and what can be ignored. When I was younger, I would react to SO many things that didn’t need my attention; I was exhausted and didn’t even know why. Now, when things happen, my first thought is usually, “…and?” Learning how to figure out what’s actually my business and then minding said business is a great thing. 😅

[@thatjeff7550]

@@BruinPhD2009 and that's the way to go! Could you imagine OP's sister's embarrassment had instead said, "Oh, you only found the one? Here's the folder where most of the vids are located," and mum added, "Yeah, I must have missed that one when I moved everything to the one folder so thanks for finding it. What did you think of the strip tease?"

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The OP is toxic and pathetic. She doesn't have many friends because she is obviously needy AF. Probably very clingy as well.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

Shoot I'd be proud of my daughter for trying to have my back, she's a good kid, a little quick to jump the gun maybe lol but her hearts in the right place.

[@mindyrolston3915]

On the last story I would tell my sister we ain't talking for a while. And the fact that she watch it over and over like a freaking pervert is so gross. Because it was her parents. Can't wait until one day she gets just as humiliated when someone blast private information or photos of her

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

I had a situation similar to #1 - I thought we were very close friends and had expected to possibly be in the wedding or, at the very least, invited. When I was surprised at neither she said that we weren't close and I never let her in. There were few people I opened up to and she was one of them so I was completely hurt by that comment. Needless to say, the "friendship" ended right then. How we were on such completely different pages was beyond me.

[@dummygirl1201]

Yeah, I remember this one. We need to avoid selfish users and realize they're not friends. It's best to quit wasting your time and money on someone who doesn't care about you. She's matured a lot and is giving good advice. I'm glad she's happy with her friends now 😊

[@kizo_wotw4717]

Something tells me that the sister is projecting herself onto the mother. The fact that she is very determined that she will accuse her own mother of cheating on her father tells me that she has a strange obsession with something, either towards her father or being right.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Methinks she wants drama

[@hannijr6120]

Or maybe she was just scared that her mother is cheating on her dad. I mean her blaming op is kind of suck but i think all of your judgement would be different is her mom was actually cheating. And i think op is kind of suck too like her mom could have been cheating and she would just say nothing to her father.

[@Steampunkkids]

PSA for story #2: don’t make a sex tape if you don’t want your kids (or anyone else) seeing it. If your partner is trying to coerce you into making it, stand up for yourself and say “no.” If you saying “no” seems to begin the downfall of your marriage/ relationship, then it was never going to make it anyway. Just don’t do it!

[@jacearmor5274]

S1: I'm happy OP is doing much better. S2: Sister sounds like a drama queen.

[@jenniferrichards2122]

I never felt bad about not being included in birthdays, weddings and such. A coworker once asked me about a similar situation. They asked if I was upset. I said no, as a matter of fact, it was nice not having to part with my money for gifts. Changed everyone’s perspective. No invite, no gift. Lol. Of course, now, greedy people will ask anyone just to get gifts from even mild acquaintances.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Sure, but you're not obligated to send one if you don't attend the wedding ;)

[@ZombieSazza]

I’m glad OP has worked on herself in these few years, it sucks to realise someone isn’t really a friend as it hurts, but I’m glad she’s moved on. “Friends” like that don’t actually care about you, they’re all take, take, take, they want all of your time and attention, they want your help, they expect so much without giving anything in return. It hurts knowing someone has treated you in this way but it’s great to move on, stand up for yourself and focus on the friends you actually have and working on those friendships. I’m really glad OP has learnt to speak out and no longer letting others walking all over herself, confrontation doesn’t have to be terrifying as you sometimes need to confront something head on. She’s maintaining her healthy friendships, feels more confident, is self aware, doesn’t waste energy on her colleague, feels loved by her real friends and seems really happy. So proud of OP for no longer being that woman’s emotional drain. And she’s right, in your 30s you just no longer care what random people think about you. I’ve had this attitude my whole life (probably my autism tbh) where I spend my energy on my close friends and simply don’t care what others think of me, it’s just not my concern. I’m happy being friendly to everyone I meet in life but understand not everyone will like me, and I’m alright with that as I have self esteem and confidence within myself, so I 100% agree with OPs perspective here.

[@terriwetz6077]

Having that attitude through your life isn't bcs of your autism. I'm the exact same way and not autistic, it comes from self-esteem and knowing your own worth. Although it can result in having less friends at least you know those you do have are true and loyal.

[@jcd5211]

How did you manage to read through story 2? OMG some of the comments were priceless!! I laughed so hard. 😆😆😆

[@serenitysfirefly]

The first story genuinely inspired to reach out to a friend who I thought wasn't putting in as much effort into our relationship. Thank you, OP! 💞

[@colleens1107]

Story two: wow. I would KILL my sibling if they dragged me into something this gross. Sister really needs to apologize for her actions and maybe OP could text her mom saying I didn’t believe this video and I told sister to leave me out of it. She was the one obsessing and I told her she was being really gross and violating your privacy. Trust me, I was NO ACCOMPLICE

[@penelopelane5753]

Story 2 was quite interesting in that it’s not often that you read about a daughter competing with the mom. Usually it’s the other way around (with society being unreasonably obsesses with youth and all). Yes, I think this is a story ultimately of a daughter jealous of the mom and trying to bring her down in the eyes of (especially) the dad (you know what Freud would have to say about that). It’s also weird and creepy that she rewatching over and over. What was she doing, comparing techniques or looking for new tricks? Serious ick. I feel for the mom.

[@terriwetz6077]

You were able to put into words exactly how I felt about this story too. And yeah, Freud would've had a field day with this sister! She was all about bringing her own mom down in flames.

[@kizzykiz]

Story 2: I feel so bad for the mom. I can’t imagine how traumatizing it was for her to find out her own kids saw it. The sister is an insensitive AH and this for sure will negatively impact their relationship, if it wasn’t horrible already.

[@veezopolis]

She kept it on a family computer

[@l.g.2888]

The friend in Story 1 is so frustrating to me. Like...no OP isn't owed friendship, but when I've been in situations where someone was giving WAY more than I was willing to, I didn't take and take and take and then refuse to give back. I created distance by setting clear boundaries around what I would accept from them abd what I could extend FIRST, and made my discomfort with their pushing for more clear from the start. It's really telling on what a user that friend is, that she was more than willing to lean on OP for years without setting any boundaries, all with no intention of giving back.

[@krhoomes22]

Loved story 1! She didn’t get angry at the friend or blame her or stop talking to her, she did some introspection and worked on herself. The result, better friends and better able to navigate friendships.

[@notovny]

Story 2: In the situation as it resulted, it clearly would have been better to just tell dad about the video. Dad would have laughed it off, and probably would have found a better way to bring it up to Mom, or not brought it up to Mom at all.

[@Ďèlùlù_Ľ_è_ḿ_ó_ń]

Story 1: A little bummed, I was hoping this was the one about the co-worker who didn't invite single guys to their wedding because they were potential seggsual predators. The couple lost a lot of friends over that decision. Still a good story though.

[@kimanireid6111]

I know that one everybody from the work team was invited except op There's one where a bride did that because she knew one of her bridesmaids was into op so she didn't invite him because she wanted to set up said bridesmaid with someone else

[@tamarak.8800]

Why would those 2 idiots embarras their parents like that... Like, I hate it when you suddenly think you can parent your parents just because their getting older... Holy shit the sister is creepy

[@mirlegends]

I can't stop laughing at the suggestion in story 2 of emailing the video to the dad anonymously. I just imagine him and his wife in full on panic because they think there being blackmailed. The reality instead was the kids had watched it (the daughter apparently multiple times), the son not sure what to do asks a collective group of strangers on the internet. To top it all off the story was then narrated on at least 1 popular narration channel on KZbin. I love the internet 🤣

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

One sided friendships are a dime a dozen. You really have to take a good look at each relationship and see if you are giving and giving and putting a lot into the relationship without anything being given back. OP's friend was a user that saw her as a source of sympathy and service for free, a patsy she could just use and discard. OP did the exact right thing, distance herself slowly so no drama is created and examine herself and her other relationships. Protect your heart, don't give pieces of it away to those who don't value it.

[@lisear2926]

Story 1: Dam OP has grown❤️ You go girl ‼️ Story 2: Just for what she did to OP when he asked her to leave him out of it, the sister is an IDIOT 7 days of the week. She could have taken ONE day off ... and on that day - she could have at least left her brother out of her crap‼️

[@sam2x13]

Last story: Look at the bright side. Now you know where you stand with your sister and what she thinks about you.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

1. That is not your best friend, that is just someone you know for long time, nothing more.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

2. Most likely their parents...I would not watch those type of videos, they have a life, people when cheat they do not have videos on pc, unless it is with your partner... Just leave it, it is their parents sex video 100% I can bet it. I can not believe they watched it.

[@kali3731]

Story 1: I had such a "friend" in university, I helped her so much because she was an international student and did not know the language, she always came to me when she needed something be it help with projects or even her master thesis, it got a bit overwhelming but I did my best to help her anyway. Long story short, also because of my help she was able to graduate one semester before me and ghosted me, she invited other people from our master group to a graduation party but never mentioned it to me, not even "out of curtsy", I was really hurt... needless to say I ghosted her back. Anyway, 2 years later and also long after I graduated, she writes me on WhatsApp and of course she needed advice again... I replied shortly and left her alone. I feel for OP and I really cannot understand the mentality of those users... I am still trying to work through my personal doormat mentality in therapy though...

[@kateemma22]

Unfortunately I think we've all had that 'friend' who was close when you were kids then adulthood hits and you realise that this was just a mistake from the start when you were both too insecure, naive, and emotional to understand. Hitting 30 made me look back at almost all of my friendships pre-30 and go 'damn, that was toxic on both sides' lol

[@poetryqn]

Story 2: So the sister threw OP under the bus after promising to keep him out of it. That's a hard thing to forgive. Dad was pretty laid back about it, but then he was the guy out of the frame - it was Mom who got indelibly embarrassed. I'd never forgive my daughter, and it's time for the daughter to take responsibility for the entire fiasco. For sure, I'd never trust her with ANYTHING sensitive in the future. And she's the elder of the two? She needs to stop reading reddit stories, grovel to Mom and apologize to her sibling. Then grovel some more.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

She needs to be kicked out of the house and kept away from her mother. She sounds crazy and borderline dangerous.

[@secret3957]

The post about the work colleague and realising you see them as a friend and they just use you, was something we can all learn from. I love the fact that there was an update on how OP felt afterwards about how she handled the situation and what she had learned from it.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Last story: Wow! OP's sister f*cked that up (pun not intended,) beyond all repair! Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face! And dragging OP into it, when all that OP wanted to do was save her parents the embarrassment.

[@robertgann742]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@MalcolmM.Stanton-hy4jb]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring her back..

[@robertgann742]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?

[@MalcolmM.Stanton-hy4jb]

Her name is *Shelly renee white* , and she is a great spiritual counsellor who can bring back your ex..

[@robertgann742]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@dm-jf5uu]

You know the reason it ended.i been there many times people leaving me.at the end i realized that I have to be my own best friend people come and go

[@LunaP1]

Heard the first story before the update. That colleague is an emotional vampire and has made nothing but enemies in the office (she's still and emotional vampire, only with a new target). I wouldn't be surprised if she's a hardcore narcissist in her own house and is emotionally abusive to her kids behind her husband's back. Good on OP for taking the steps to look into how her relationships are and getting better with actual friends.

[@cattyanamontes5724]

Yup. In my 30s I care very little about what people think about me. I’m also all about comfort these days and dress accordingly. And what did I ask for for Christmas? New bed sheets. 🤣👵🏽

[@druw7523]

Isn’t it so sad how the older we get the more time and disrespect whittles the amount of friends we have away, sometimes all the way to zero

[@s.t.652]

On story 1, I love the positive attitude from OP, but I am dying to know why the bride didn't invite OP. It would be one thing if no one from work was invited. But since others were, why leave the OP out? Even if the bride was a user, wouldn't an invitation serve her purposes to continue to use? It's just weird that the bride talked about wedding details to someone she wasn't going to invite. People are weird sometimes.

[@brendacarter4968]

People are weird- could stop right there, not just sometimes. In our family/circle we say: everybody's weird ...except you and me...and I'm not so sure about you.

[@VanityDivined]

We all know why OP wasn’t invited… So nice she made real friends

[@aphelion4616]

S2: Sister threw her fucking brother right under the bus didn't she? God fucking damn... he asked her for ONE damn thing since he was certain it was their dad... but no, because SHE messed up, she didn't want to go down alone. What a C you next Tuesday....

[@unknown_ing]

Story 2: did i get it wrong with the vibes that the kids are being blamed here for watching instead of the parents for making and keeping it? Also what’s wrong with the sister? Didn’t she promise to take all the blame?

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I personally would never take part in a sex tape or even nude photos, but the mom and dad here are married, consenting adults and have the right to do so if they want to. There is nothing inherently wrong with doing this as long as both parties consent, and I'm sure they never intended their kids to see it (remember the "kids" are 19 and 21, not toddlers). Their only mistake was keeping the file in mom's laptop instead of on a separate thumb drive or something.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Uh, yeah? Generally when you find a sex tape of someone you know you stop watching.

[@ida6950]

Why would the parents be blamed? They did nothing wrong

[@stuart4746]

the kids are 19 and 21. as an adult, do you snoop through your parents' belongings? (electronic or otherwise) Let's say you find a sex tape of your parents... would you watch it MULTIPLE times and then show it to your sibling? the parents created a private recording of explicit material for their personal use. they didn't post it online or leave it playing for their children to see. the daughter intentionally went snooping through the files when she was supposed to be doing her homework. the daughter is the only person in this scenario that did anything wrong.

[@unknown_ing]

@@ida6950 im not saying making an sextape is wrong but you should know the consequences and that people might see it. I’m just wondering why blame your kid for seeing it instead of being i should have hidden it better? I get the mom might be ashamed/embarrassed and in panic

[@h06anbjo]

If I was the OP in the first story, I wouldn't say anything, see if the bride notice that I'm not there for the wedding and if she asks why I wasn't there, I'd just simply say: "Well, I didn't get an invite, so how was I supposed to know when it was or where it was?" If the bride does not say anything about me not being there, I'd have my answer to wether this friendship is one sided or not..

[@smsff7]

Story 1: I am glad OP was able to move on and find some real friends. I still think she should ignore that fake friend.

[@marelicainavokado]

I had a "friend" like that at university and I was a bit of an outcast too. It took me months before I realized she never initiated to cover the bill for coffee, I lent/brought her notes to copy etc. Then it dawned on me that I was always the first to send a message or say hi. It hurts when you feel like a nobody that's only being used. We drifted apart. I wish the commenters were nicer to OP - she wasn't just a wimpy doormat, but probably had low self-esteem. Speak your mind, but don't put such people down even more. You don't know what kind of childhood she'd had.

[@viv8871]

This update 4 years on is so wonderful to hear. OP went through so much growth in that time, learned so much wisdom, and did it all with grace. I'm so proud of them, and I hope they hear so frequently from others. I really needed to hear the lessons she learned today.

[@BloodSunBlast]

Oh that update in story 1. I realize I'm similar. In therapy for similar reasons but my therapist isn't helpful in my opinion. She wants me to figure out stuff I expected her to help me with.

[@TheAlphaDingo]

Having a radar for who is bad news and who's worthy of effort is an important life skill

[@mtngrl5859]

Regarding #1, What I've learned is that work relationships are just that work relationships. They are not friendships. The "friend" is a Narcissist, they are self involved.

[@habituallearner7680]

Story one really hits home. I once had a "friend" who wasn't a friend. Being used doesn't feel very good. I'm glad OP moved on emotionally, though I was hoping karma had hit OP's user the way it hit mine like a dump truck going 120 down a hill.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S2: This is why I have wanted my hubby to wipe out any photos he has of me. Hope my kids never see them! It's almost -- almost! -- funny that OP's sister can't imagine that her parents have an exciting sex life -- or maybe any sex life. Like she preferred thinking that her mom had cheated than that her Dad finds her Mom sexy.

[@crowdemon_archives]

It's like she can't fathom the idea that resulted in her birth and existence lol

[@jessicaolson490]

I almost feel can feel secondhand trauma from that mom's experience omg.

[@browniewin4121]

1) I remember this story, and it's sad to find out someone is a false friend, someone willing to use the other person but not reciprocate. It does however seem really odd that other people from work would be invited, but not the person she always has lunch with and is the person who helped her so much when she was grieving and needed it. It's good OP recognizes she needs to learn to be more assertive. It's good OP worked up the courage to speak about the wedding with the bride and confirm that she is intentionally left out. OP is a very kind and giving person, this coworker is not. I'm glad OP has good friends and nicer coworkers that she can appreciate those and just let this one-sided relationship go. I learning how to communicate better and be more assertive. After 4yr update: It's nice OP does not hold a grudge and has coworkers she enjoys who appreciate her. It's great she has grown in confidence. It's good advice to evaluate the give and take of a relationship and recognize there are different types and each can be valuable in its own way. 2) OMG, OPs' sister is a moron to jump to a conclusion and want to jump in the way she does, also super creepy to learn she has watched this repeatedly. i think the plan to introduce the subject subtly was good so as not to cause unnecessary harm. Sister is definitely a moron and a hurtful one to blab all she did and also throw OP under the bus after he told he he didn't like what she was doing, didn't want to be any part of what she wanted to do, and to leave him out of it. I feel sorry for OP, but more so I feel sorry for the mom got her personal life to be violated like this. WTH is wrong with OP's sister, she really did something nasty and hurtful.

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: I remember this story from elsewhere! A "so-called" friend and someone realizing the hard way that they're peripheral to someone else. I've sort of been there. It always sucks.

[@folgore1]

Story 1: Yes, there is a difference between friends and friendly acquaintances. OP could have saved herself the lengthy turmoil by confronting her supposed BFF directly. Her voyage of self-discovery was unnecessarily long and painful. I'm glad she learned what she needed to learn in the end. That said, the phony BFF deserved to be confronted on being a user...

[@gelasiakidd8076]

I needed to hear the advice in story 1's ending today. If the OP ever sees this, thank you

[@VesnaVK]

4 years later and OP never realized that her "friend" is a horrible person who took advantage of her. "Friend" got off easy. Venue was a "secret" because she didn't want OP to show up, assuming that surely she was invited and the invite was lost or something.

[@felithesweetheart4238]

I feel bad for the mom in the last story, it seems like she didn't really want to do the video. I have a feeling this wasn't the first time the daughter had accused her of something, real daddy girl

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Just a quick comment for others who are afraid to speak up: One time I had to speak in front of a group and I kept thinking, "I'm going to shake." And then I thought, "So shake. So what? It's not fatal!" That helped me get through what I had to do. Don't be so afraid of your physical reactions. And I have panic disorder, so believe me when I say you can survive anxiety and even panic.

[@Speed-dw6qp]

Story 1: work friends are not friends.

[@gailpippin9761]

I'm proud of the steps Story #1 has taken to gain perspective. I'm glad she didn't (I assume) waste her money buying a wedding gift. I, too, loathe confrontation. Decided to just ghost a woman who was a taken. If I called, she was 'too busy to talk, later bragging that she and her live-in boy toy were....busy. She invited me to stop by, once, and she commented that just moments before my arrival, she and her boy toy were fooling around, implying that I'd interrupted them.. Except that I could see her through the doorcovering and he was just coming down the stairs so he was nowhere near her. It was at that instant I began to flash back on previous instances. She could pass and moan about stuff in her life, but if 'I' needed to vent, she suddenly had to go. She never asked for my cell #, even though she knew I had one. We did Medieval re-enactment as a hobby, and if someone else was getting attention, she'd invariably faint - falling gracefully backwards. Except that, generally speaking, people face plant when they faint. She always knew more than anyone else, and was quite condescending about it, but became angry when she was gently corrected by a mutual friend. Challenged him, and damned if he wasn't an MD who specialized in that particular discipline. Her response? She fainted, of course. I stopped taking her calls, which grew fewer and fewer until they stopped altogether.

[@leefpaj]

Story #1: OP might be those delulu people who thinks that everyone is their friend, and becomes clingy.

[@D123-f9k]

Story 1: It sucks to learn people you thought were your friends think of you like a pet or accessory Story 2: Older sister sucks

[@melocoton7]

you are completely right. It is easy to tell someone what to do when it's not yourself doing it. I am normally a very assertive person but in all honesty, I would have a hard time asking why I wasn't invited. For one it sounds very whiny to me to beg for attention, and on the other hand, my pride wouldn't let me. Not getting invited is a clear message and I'm not about to lose any more time on someone who clearly doesn't value my friendship. I would simply stop interacting with them beyond normal work stuff. Not go out of my way to help with anything. She would be a stranger to me.

[@MetalSStar196]

That's when you now realize the person you consider your best friend doesn't think the same of you.

[@placitas52]

Bright side is that you don't have to buy her a wedding gift.

[@louisejohnson6057]

My friend and I have know each other, and been besties for about 56 years now, and we have an ultimate rule, you might say it's our Prime Directive. If either one of us feels hurt by the other, regardless of the nature or depth of the hurt, we always address it. It might not be right then and there, but usually within 1 or 2 days. We're not going to let things fester and possibly lead to resentment down the line. Our 56 years of friendship is far too important to both of us to allow our relationship to be damaged by unaddressed issues. If you can't speak to her, then write it out and read out what you want to say, or just let them read it, and hopefully you can talk about it. If feelings keep getting swept under carpets, life will become increasingly lumpy, and possibly a tripping hazard. Being able to address important issues calmly, directly, and honestly is, in my opinion, a necessary component of a healthy relationship.

[@2legit64]

Personally, I would have jumped for joy not receiving a wedding invitation.

[@Lahk1]

Last story - "it's funny you bring this up. We just had the recordings of both your conceptions digitized. Would you like to watch them? Perhaps we could have some pie and ice cream while we watch? I do love a good cream pie."

[@sterngerlach9184]

Ewwww!

[@dscheaffer]

There are so many users in this world, who will use you if they think they can, which is exactly what happened in story 1. Fortunately for OP, the fake friend exposed herself, so OP was able to move on and not waste anymore energy on her.

[@kieramaccourt8717]

Story 1: What great advice for friendships!

[@RobertBishop-xt6yq]

S2 OP just learned a very very very important thing about his SISTER She will throw him to the wolves.