My Best Friend Is Insisting On A SECRET Proposal At MY WEDDING r/Relationships

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You just want the attention for yourselves" yeah that's kind of how weddings work

[@streamerssaymyname]

"How dare the married couple want the attention on themselves and not me, the person who paid nothing for this party."

[@johnbradbury8610]

Yeah, it's like when Dave Chappelle just talks on stage for like an hour without asking other people's opinions.

[@Davtwan]

“Yes, that’s how parties centered around the events of a person/people work. Amazing, isn’t it?“

[@arleneclark6369]

People who do that are tacky, it just makes u look cheap and unimaginative, so u can't think up your own proposal and pay for it?? Get stuffed.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Birthday parties, baby showers, engagement party and weddings the honorees definitely have the right to want to be the center of attention at their event. As a guest I didn't spend several hundred dollars getting clothes, a gift, getting a hotel room and time traveling to watch some other couple get engaged and steal the spotlight at a friend's or family members wedding.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Don’t propose at people’s weddings. Let them have their day. Unless the couple are ok with you doing that, don’t. It’s ok to ask, but be ready for a no. Also, this guy is doing what he wants, his fiancée doesn’t even want this. He’s literally only thinking of himself. Hopefully he sees light.

[@ceceelizabeth527]

I absolutely agree.

[@jonmendelson1104]

As a smart ass, I think it really depends. I proposed a toast to the happy couple at my brother's wedding and there weren't any complaints.

[@BaeBunni]

It's odd but I would assume they have permission but freaking out that like "well if I can't do it at your wedding means you hate me" kinda attitude is just him being a dick.

[@randomgeneration7781]

@@jonmendelson1104 did the toast say yes?

[@cesaravegah3787]

Even when bride and groom are ok with that I find it in extremly poor taste.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I thought he was mad at her for learning choeorgraphy herself. But, he's expected to learn dances for like 20 songs or more just to atrend?? That's completely ridiculous

[@johnbradbury8610]

Mei must be really hot, or OP must be desperate. If Mei had asked that would be different (couples do things for each other) but to demand it is major AH territory. Its seemed to work out.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

That’s the problem. We have too many people online post and cute couple videos of people think all I want to do that without literally asking that man on a woman or whoever there with.

[@amandab8433]

I've been a Jpop, Kpop, Cpop etc, fan since the early 90's. I can honestly say that for whatever Pop Idol group the Fandoms are on a whole other level than for Western pop/rock group fans. The Idol groups are somewhat controlled by the Fandoms, and they have WAAAAAY WAAAAAY too much power over the career of Idols. Throughout the years they (Fans) have ruined the careers of Idols for doing everyday normal adult things like dating, smoking, drinking, etc. Even for rumors they may have heard about an idol that after the career is ruined have turned out to be false. Look up Kim Garam from the group Le Sserafim as an example. It's actually quite insane the power they hold. I'm an older fan located in the States, and just really enjoy the music style, and having fun attending concerts and shows with my daughter (20) when we get a chance to.

[@persgodiva]

not really. those "choreographies" are not really hard at all, it's just arm movements - and it's not about doing them perfectly either, it's just about participating and looking like you're having fun.

[@LoveK1]

@@persgodivathat’s still ridiculous. I’m sure he didn’t expect her to head bang to every metal song. That’s just overkill and her reaction was incredibly immature. Let’s not act like the idol culture in Asia isn’t unhealthy. It’s name should tell you enough.

[@BeardyBaldyBob]

Sounds like John went home and complained to him mum and dad who absolutely reamed him out brutally and gave him a cold dose of reality over how he behaved.

[@Passions5555]

One can hope.

[@18Hongo]

That or he just thought about what he did for, I don't know - ten seconds?

[@Passions5555]

@18Hongo none of those 10 seconds were when he was interacting with OP and her fiancé unfortunately.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

I was thinking he went home and kind of felt out how Holly would feel about it by commenting out loud about the video and showing it to her like he just found it. She'd then go, ew, no, tacky, and he'd realize that he just dodged a nuclear strike.

[@18Hongo]

@@Passions5555 Well, we can't expect him to talk and think at the same time, can we?

[@kizzykiz]

Story 2: sounds like Mie is a hardcore idol otaku. They are DEDICATED to their oshi (favorite idol). I’m Japanese and if my SO expected me to do this exact thing, I’d be like “nope”. She’s expecting way too much from a non-fan. Also personal opinion, but I think the idol world is super exploitative and icky.

[@somename3424]

Icky comes down to personal preference, but the idol world has already been proven to be exploitive

[@ReformingRegent]

Call me skeptical, but I still wouldn’t trust John after the way he blew up. Op and her fiancé should at least have someone keep an eye on him at all times during the wedding just in case he tries to pull something.

[@tully6648]

Yeah, any of us who've heard enough Reddit stories would have themselves on high alert. There's been one too many where someone came across as sincere just to get to what they wanted.

[@catsncrows]

Yes, definitely have an emergency back up strategy just in case

[@truthseeker9249]

Yeah hahaha. And I have two more ideas! 1. Have somebody search him to make sure he doesn't have a ring in his pocket. 2. Have the DJ (if they're having one) keep a close eye on John and Holly and immediately change the music to a crazy, upbeat dance song and blast it as loud as appropriately possible to ruin the moment if or when he sees John getting down on one knee. This is what I would do if it was my wedding or if I were a DJ working a wedding and i saw this happen.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@tully6648 That story about OP's pos entitled brother wanting to propose at his wedding and their abusive grandma who favors his brother backing him? That story has scarred me for life. All I can picture is this story being just like that.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

Reddit makes people jaded if you’re good enough friends and they apologize you should just get over it it’s not like the weddings happening right away he apologized,

[@starbird3939]

Story 2: Yeah, Korea and Japan really encourage the parasocial relationship-it’s been discussed in shows like Aggretsuko paranoia agent, and Perfect Blue.

[@Swnsasy]

Umm, story 2: As a teen in the 90's it was a clique of 6 of us and we would do steps to dance at house parties but it's like a electric slide type dance but dance and learn all the songs and routines in less than 2wks??? That is just way over the top for her to not understand what she has put into it and he hasn't.. Her being this angry that he's not able to learn what she has over years in 2wks is just weird...

[@GiordanDiodato]

Japan's society is one of high expectations. and people wonder why their suicide rate is so high.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@GiordanDiodatoThat may be so, but only weird stalker type idol fans do this shit. Normal, average people in Japan don't expect you to instantly know 20 songs! Maybe three, but not 20!

[@muppo]

​@gemsoflilyheart-wsp4217 this is very much NOT true lol. Casual fans do learn those dances over time, especially in Japan. Look up any average idol concert and you'll be amazed at the differences culture can have on something as simple as concert expectations. Like the other comment says, work standards across all of Asia are ridiculous. And the truth js those standard do work in action, you'd be surprised at how much effort can sometimes equate to the "bare minimum" over there. (That being said yes, this is horrific for your mental health.) Truthfully what the west does is also shitty tho, especially in the standards of keeping our communities clean. America has no concept of cleaning up after yourself in public, so we could definitely work on that 💀 A better balance is probably ideal

[@muppo]

​@@lovelysakurapetalsytbut id like to hope the average person in Japan can understand a foreigner not being down for the same amount of effort (especially like in this instance when OP isn't an existing fan.)

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@muppo Some big ones may be crazy like that, but it sounds like this is a mostly underground group, and those crazy people are MUCH less. You evidently seem to not understand that yourself.

[@zard5930]

Story 2: That's a culture clash at work. The basis behind that behaviour is that his girlfriend is from a collectivist society. Standing out in any way in Japan is seen as something negative. So him not doing the dance moves is from her perspective worse than it would be for him, since he is from an individualistic society. In the end he has to decide for himself if that is worth it, but it could damage their relationship.

[@susankaempfer8427]

He’s 6’9”, so she should get used to him standing out 😂

[@justaperson4656]

​@@susankaempfer8427they mean standing out in terms of behaviour. There's a phrase in Japanese, "the stake that stands out gets hammered in", which in practice usually means if you stand out behaviourally, are rude, etc, you will be shamed out of that behaviour. People will be less polite or talkative with you. She didn't want the embarrassment of him standing out and not knowing how to act/etiquette when it comes to idol events

[@mr.g1578]

​@@justaperson4656the problem is that japanese and korean have a superiority complex.. if you go to any other asian country they might stare at you but they will be acomidating to you even if you cant communicate with them... but japanese or korean wont unless you speak their language, even if you do youll still be treated differently

[@diamcole]

@@susankaempfer8427Even more reason why he needs to get used to the expectations that he conform as much as possible lol. This won’t be the only time it comes up. 😂

[@KarmikCykle]

"You just want all the attention to yourselves." Yes. That's... that's how weddings WORK.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

You said Mie perfectly, Mark! If you're ever worried about not saying things right in Japanese, there's TONS of sites that actually help with pronunciations to a very specific degree, so if you're ever worried, it's very easy to find them! Idol culture is huge in Japan, but plenty just go to have a good time. Not everyone dances and sings along, most that attend aren't superfans who will do that. The girlfriend is entirely insensitive. He's not from Japan, so how should he know everything about idols without knowing much, because hell, I only know stuff from Oshi no Ko! Most CANNOT do this, it's only super obsessed weirdos who do this. Most stuff is just basic dances with glow sticks corresponding to whatever person(s) in the group you like the most. And it's VERY small dances, like swinging the lightsticks in circles and stuff

[@haplessasshole9615]

I think Mark's a low-key anime fan. Yeah, I liked how he got it as "MEE-eh," instead of "MEE-ay," as Americans especially are apt to do. Merciful heavens, the butchery US voice actors perform on Japanese names in dubs is... disturbing. Don't they listen to clips of the original version to hear the pronunciations? Sheesh. It's one of the reasons I prefer subtitles. I've seen story arcs having to do with idol culture, but nothing specifically idol-centric in concept, as the *Oshi no Ko* descriptions I found sound like. In the story lines I've seen, there are always a few super-fangirls (and a few boys) who are into the gotta-have-all-the-merch, gotta-know-all-the-lyrics-and-moves thang. They are decidedly *not* depicted as healthy, well-grounded young'uns. I'm afraid Mie is an adult(ish) version of those kids. Edit: I hadn't listened to the whole edits-and-updates part of the story. I paused at the point where Mark requested comments about Japanese idol culture. Now, I'm at 15:20, and it turns out I was right. Mie's obsession is a way of finding a family/tribe she hasn't had. Not entirely healthy.

[@HeiwaTori]

& who knows you might end up with a Doyoung type, who will MAKE SURE you know the moves 🤣 kzbin.infoD6-TYkdmKjY ...this is my ult bias lol

[@dzll]

I laughed so hard when OP of story 2 said he was 6'9". I'm like "Bruh ur like a blue Cheeto in a bag or regular Cheetos. Doesn't matter where u stand at or what u do everyone is gonna notice u".

[@aikikaname6508]

It’s actually nice to hear these stories end with a nice, non dramatic anti climactic ending rather than the NC drama cluster storm we’re primed for

[@snafubar5491]

"We're primed for"??? If this were true, it would mean 'we're' hoping one or more gets hurt so 'we' can gloat over their misfortune(s)??? You set the bar pretty low for the folks who peruse these chats, methinks. Don't take this the wrong way, but thankfully you don't speak for me. I look at things from outside the box and know better than to judge an InterWebz story on face value. Same as for the outcome.......wait and see/take witha grain of salt. Yes, they are a form of 'entertainment', but make an assumption based on only one side......nope. Nor do I wish folks to get 'hurt'. Pain issa powerful teacher, but there should be no joy from it. But you do you.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

When I was getting married (27 years ago). My brother was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him. He never asked me if he coukd do it at our wedding. My brother was married before and had a 4 year old, his wife died during childbirth. So, I came up with a perfect proposal. Now, the difference between my story and OPs is that I came up with the idea to do it at my wedding, my brother did not try to force me or demand I allowe him to proppose at my wedding. As a matter of fact, I had to convince him because he was afraid to take the spotlight away from my husband and me. Which is why we did the bouquet things as my husband and I were headed off to our limo. So, onto the execution. When my husband and I wear heading out to the limo, and people were blowing bubblesto send us off, I got to the limo, then turned around, walked to my brother's girlfriend, and handed her my bouquet. She was confused but when I turned her around, my brother was on one knee holding out a ring, and my niece wore a tshirt that said, "Will you marry us?"

[@exhortationsofanartist8118]

That's such a sweet story.😊

[@volcanicrose7158]

Awww. What was her answer?

[@jenniferfoote5442]

What a sweet, sweet story! It breaks my heart to hear when women die in childbirth 💔 im so glad your brother and niece found love again 😊

[@MysticMae21]

That's adorable

[@ferbobjr4569]

Crocheting a dinosaur while listening because my little said she wanted a dinosaur and i haven’t made any cuddlys in a while so decided to just try make my own pattern up from all the things I’ve learned these last few years of teaching myself 🤞😂

[@faeryglamer]

My favorite squishie ever was a neon pink octopus crocheted by my aunt when I was tiny. I can't do anything but throws lol. Good luck!

[@Swnsasy]

Honestly, all I would have done is talk about it to Holly in front of him so he can HEAR her say that she finds that horrible for people to do. His blow up is ridiculous and WRONG! OP isn't the AH... Certain people like certain things and just because he saw it on social media with that couple that had no issue doesn't mean everyone does.. John stepped WAY over the line with his outburst! Then to call them selfish when that is literally what HE'S being... Who doesn't know that?? How does HE not know how she feels?? Nta

[@ladyvee2090]

I don't understand why proposing needs to be this whole production for some people. My fiance proposed to me when I picked him up from the airport and it was lovely. You don't need a party or expensive BS, it's about you and your partner. That's what makes it special.

[@AndyyWithAY]

That silly string. Who Let The Dogs Out story was epic and I loved everything about it. Jake deserved every bit of that. I hope it works out with John, but if it was me, he'd be on a timeout for a long time. Definitely uninvited from the wedding and I'd tell Holly. He doesn't care at all about what she wants

[@bunnyslippers191]

Since John says he's going to propose to Holly either during the trip the two couples are taking in a month after the Original Post or during the holidays and OP's wedding is in February, all OP needs to do is see if John does propose to Holly well before the wedding. If he doesn't propose to her by the day after New Year's Day, then he's plotting to do it at the wedding. That's when OP tells Holly the entire story and see what happens.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 2: I find it hard to believe OP would really be the only person there who didn't know the dances. I'll go to this concert because someone important to me loves the act, isn't that unusual a concept.

[@historictruecrime5119]

I did that! I knew that two of my guess were already engaged to be married and their wedding was the following month so instead of throwing the bouquet, I handed it to Emily and wished her and John are very happy wedding and marriage, the following month. Ironically, they’re still happily married today and my ex cheated on me and then put his mother and her nonsense before our marriage. And now he’s dead from drugs and alcohol that his mother wouldn’t stop him from doing.

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: I'm glad John came to his senses and apologized. I hope the proposal goes amazing and I hope OP and the groom have a beautiful wedding and marriage🤗❤ Story 2: I'm surprised the gf had such high expectations for OP. I understand she's a super fan but to expect OP to meet such high standards in a few weeks is too much. I hope she becomes more grounded in the future. I'm glad they had fun at the concert though😊

[@GiordanDiodato]

It's a Japan thing, apparently. being non-conformist is seen as rude

[@mracula1667]

Story 2: I don’t think there’s any band I like enough to learn choreography for.

[@s53nu5]

LMAO fr

[@paden1865able]

I don't dance, so, nah. I look like a drunken bear when I try. Lol!!😅

[@mracula1667]

@@paden1865able I stay in the back because I’m 6’5” with severe social anxiety so I feel like I’m ruining everyone’s time if I’m in the front row.

[@miniman649]

if the band expects me to dance in choreography with everyone, then they better pay me, because that sounds like the job of a back-up dancer.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

"You just don't want us to be engaged." Yeah, that's why a minute ago she promised to do anything to help you. She does want you engaged, just ANYWHERE else but her wedding.

[@datmanydocris]

Story 2: I have legit never understood idol culture and it seems like it's unhealthy obsession to me. I'm a major fan of several rock and metal bands. Do I like going to concerts? Absolutely. Will I go see my favorite bands if they have a tour stop near me? Yep. Would I ever go to any of my favorite band's concerts _multiple times per week?_ No. Would I ever go hundreds of kilometers to see my favorite band? Nope. Would I spend (what I assume is) thousands of dollars on going to concerts? No. Would I ever learn choreography for dozens of songs? Hell no. All of that sounds legitimately crazy to me.

[@maryseflore7028]

Story 2: That whole "learn the choreography and the words" reminded me of something I saw in "NSYNC Making the Tour" - Justin Timberlake explaining that they had to learn 6 choreographies for 6 new songs in 2 1/2 weeks. And they weren't sure they'd be ready in time for the tour. Now, this was a BAND, that did this for a living, and spent 10-12 hours a day learning those choreographies. How the hell does Mie expect her boyfriend to learn WAY more songs/choreographies than that, while working a day job (I assume) and NOT being a professional dancer????????????? She needs to learn to moderate her expectations. Gee freakin' whiz.

[@GiordanDiodato]

Story 2: Definitely a culture clash. Japan sets really high expectations for people.

[@tully6648]

Japan's entire fan culture is typically a level above, but idol fan culture is a whole other world.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Sure but most even normal fans of idols don't act this way lol. Only the crazy stalker type weirdos act like the girlfriend is

[@MsTemptation]

That’s why I admire Japanese culture. Unlike all of these weak minded people here in America with a host of anxiety issues.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@MsTemptation Uhhh Japan has a high rate of undiagnosed mental disorders and suicide...

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@MsTemptation Idolizing some weird celebrity doesn't sound any better.

[@bluexwings]

Hi Mark! I'm recovering from major surgery (hysterectomy due to endometriosis). Your videos have been making my days so much less boring! I especially like listening while I take short walks to get my strength back. Right now, I'm coloring in a mushroom and flower themed coloring book my boyfriend gave me. 😊❤️ Thanks for posting your videos and for being your delightful self! I hope you and Poppy are doing well!

[@mrs.anderson8928]

I am so sorry to hear this. I walked this exact road 15 years ago. It is difficult. I wish you the best in healing.

[@paulastiles5507]

Condolences. Been there, done that. It does get better, really.

[@bluexwings]

@@paulastiles5507 Thank you! I'm looking forward to feeling like myself again.

[@bluexwings]

@@mrs.anderson8928 Thank you very much. It has been hard, but I'm slowly starting to feel better. I'm hoping that this will give me my life back. ❤️

[@Echo-hk9xo]

When I had my partial, it gave me my life back so I'm excited for you! I wish you all the best in healing and recovery! Short walks, a gentle heating pad, and plenty of water helps a ton with the recovery/pain. ❤

[@selinesbeau]

I don't mind people ASKING, but if the answer is no, you drop it. No hard feelings, never bring it up again.

[@MangaGirl232]

I have been to a few Japanese idol concerts, even went to one in Japan! It was definitely an experience. My partner at the time was a fan and he knew all the moves and songs. I stood at the back and watched as everyone danced along with the glowsticks. We even had to sit down at one point. You definitely get a happy/joy vide while watching them. If you live in London then an event called Hyper Japan get a lot of J-Pop groups, would recommend if you want to experience it 😊

[@charliep5991]

I’m knitting an elf costume for a teddy bear whilst watching your videos

[@ebayrose]

I wouldn't want money spent on a proposal but lots of girls these days do. Whenever I hear about someone wanting to propose at another's wedding al I think is that they are being tacky trying to have glits and glam (and a pro photographer) without paying for it themselves. Also, unless the girls being proposed to crave attention they don't actually appreciate you using someone else's wedding as the time and place for a proposal. In fact the ones who want a big fancy proposal would hate the guy for being cheap and making her share the spotlight on one of her special days.

[@dementedqueen4392]

Story 1 before update - LOL. 'You just want all the attention for yourselves!' Uh, yeah. Op and his fiancé DO want the attention for themselves. Because it's THEIR day. LOL. Op and his future wife deserve this one day for themselves. Especially with all the money being shelled out. And I bet Holly WOULD be mortified.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

Story 2, OP isn't the asshole. I've seen 2 videos that my favorite band did with a group like this. The bands are Momoiro Clover Z and Kiss and in both videos, the Japanese band showed the girls dancing a specific choreography. It was a nice video. The 2 videos were done in both languages. The English version was translated to fit more like an English song then Japanese. In South Korea, you have these Kpop groups of guys and girls which have almost the same thing as those in Japan. Learning the choreography of all the songs would have been very difficult to do. OPs girlfriend has been following them since they were formed and the dances they do is very impressive to look at.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I placed an order for my Rx and the text saying it was ready had the price as more than 3x what it cost the last time I ordered 😱😱 I hate phone calls with a passion, but I called bc that had to be sorted out. They were so nice on the phone and sorted it out while I waited 😌

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Glad you got it sorted out

[@joaolima7131]

This happened once to me too, but a little different, I was ordered food, but the app was kinda laggy and didn't realize I had ordered the same thing twice, the app wasn't showing btw, I was shocked to say the least, when the delivery driver handed two bags and saw in the app I was charged twice, in the end I just gave the other one to my grandma.

[@madambutterfly1997]

This is one of those things where it's inherently wrong even if you have consent. You're too lazy to setup your own engagement party so instead you want to hijack somebody else's special event and make it about you. How disgusting and pathetic

[@ElleD308]

I don't think women understand how nerve-wracking it is to propose. Getting the perfect ring, the perfect experience, spending a shit-ton of money just to have ungrateful women call them pathetic and disgusting for not matching their delulu expectations. This man is clearly not evil or lazy. I think he has no idea how to make it special for her, he's panicking and when he saw a video that worked and everyone was left happy he thought he had the perfect idea. Therefore he freaked out when that perfect and only idea he had was denied. He apologized later and is now thinking of something better.

[@Npyne]

@@ElleD308 It _is_ lazy to just propose at someone else's wedding, with consent or not. And had he just left it after they said no, he would have been fine. But he is pathetic and entitled for the tantrum he threw, especially knowing that the GF would have hated that type of proposal. Show how little he thought about it initially. 30 seconds on google brings up dozens of ideas.

[@ElleD308]

@@Npyne wow... Bitter judgy much? The guy freaked out and exploded then came back, apologized, and told them he understood if they cut him off and did everything to make amends. You're pathetic for thinking people under pressure aren't allowed to screw up for a second even when they apologize later. Do better or you'll stay as lonely as you are.

[@kawaibakaneko]

​​@@ElleD308If your girlfriend has an expections about her proposal and if she only care about the price of the ring she is not wife material. She should be happy to marry you. And if she wants to take a loan for a ring, she is going to bankrupt both for the Wedding. Btw I am a woman.

[@ElleD308]

@@kawaibakaneko I agree with you. But sadly most women think Instagram is real and want a 10k ring with a massive proposal they can post about or they see the man as pathetic and disgusting. Btw... I'm also a woman and married 😂 Hubby proposed under a tree in front of a lake. Because on our first date, we walked next to that tree and I told him that that place was the perfect balance between beauty and absolute calm. It was perfect.

[@randomgeneration7781]

Story 2: dude dodged a bullet there, but he might want to really think about this further down the line. If his girl is a superfan and he plans to be more invested in sharing her interests he's going to actually need to learn choreography for every song, and he needs to know how willing he'll be to put down time to practice on a regular basis instead of cramming in the last few weeks. He loves her enough to try, sure, but something about this whole "superfan" business and the idol culture makes me think this could also be a dealbreaker - if he half-arses it when he actually has to dance and especially when he understands what is expected, she will not be too pleased with him.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 even asking to propose at someone's wedding is extreme AH behavior to me. But, if you just have to ask, you need to be willing to accept and expecting a no. Calling them selfish?? Ain't no way 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ Tell Holly urgently. I would dump any guy who wanted to do something this tacky. And OP says Holly would hate this, he's going to ruin his friendship and relationship in one fell swoop.

[@TheGelasiaBlythe]

I mean, I learned to accept no just as well as I accept yes when I was in kindergarten. I'm beginning to think it's a lost skill.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@TheGelasiaBlythe Yeah.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

It’s not a whole behavior to ask it’s a whole behavior to go off on a tangent in case somebody else have you been happy videos get made somebody ask all the groomer, bright ass somebody has the ass otherwise you’re just doing stuff and making people pissed off

[@mssevensins]

FYI, choreography for Japanese idol groups isn’t like memorizing a Swift dance number. It’s like a cheer often done with a fan or light stick (a metal band even uses rubber chickens). It’s called wotagei, and pretty simple. Also, Japanese people love it when foreigners (especially really tall ones), attempt to join in their culture. So by just attempting to do the dances, the idol group would love it!

[@Himitssu]

Story 1 - Although I could never, I think is fine to ask, some people don't mind "sharing the spot light" with people they are super close to, but if you are asking you need to be ready for a no and RESPECT it.I'm glad John was able to see how wrong and rude he was and apologized properly and explained what was going on his head, and even understood if OP and fiancé didn't want him in the wedding anymore.

[@rayneingdown]

This video dropped as I left for work, and I was listening while driving home and eating a cupcake one of my customers gifted to me. I DROPPED IT when I heard that bit about learning dances for TWENTY SONGS 😂😂😂 That is some DEDICATION

[@KCohere33]

It is refreshing to see someone come to their senses and genuinely apologize for making such an unreasonable request and then throwing a tantrum. I Can see how the friend was excited for the idea, it got shot down, and he was angry at himself so lashed out. But he thankfully saw the error of his ways.

[@jakeking3859]

I live in Australia, but there's a Japanese-style idol group based here in Brisbane, made up of Australians, who sing Japanese songs, a mix of covers and originals - and yes, they have a dedicated base group of fans who know all the songs by heart, with the light-up sticks, that do specific choreography. It's quite the feeling, being in the middle of a group so dedicated to this one band. I'm sure most concerts feel the same, but I'm not really a concert-goer. Honestly, I think Idol groups are so culturally different from anything in America or Europe. The Japanese Idol system is pretty tailor-made for their fan bases. It's SO corporate that there are people dedicated to choosing outfits for the bands during public events and interviews (which as far as I know is more of a Korean thing). Having said that, I think her expecting him to be able to learn those moves within two weeks is ridiculous, especially since he never asked the same of her.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

My name is Mie too, though I'm Danish You got as close as anyone truly can when pronouncing the name

[@LordBison98]

Story 2: NTA like what the hell?? That sounds like a CULT rather than a concert?? Like okay, if you are a superfan and want to learn all these songs and moves then go ahead, but forcing your partner to do it in such a limited time is some sort of torture. I've been to concerts before and sang along, but?? I'd never force anyone to do same.

[@xandstuff12]

Walking through Home Depot while listening. Probably some of the most positive endings I've heard, here.

[@dougmartin2007]

Story One: why ask "will this be okay?" If you are not prepared to hear the answer. Also, the projection is strong with this guy. All of his accusations of selfishness come from people refusing his own selfish actions.

[@fhuber7507]

Just the title: OP needed to uninvite that "friend" from the wedding. The "request" (self-entitled demand) is disrespectful of the bride, groom and the person they plan to propose to.

[@phoenixsky6124]

Lol the bands couldn’t even learn that many dances in that time.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - Not only is it ridiculous for a casual attendee to learn over a dozen dances, but how much do these concerts and meet & greets cost? I mean, concerts in the US usually start at $100 and go up, with the minimum wage still being $7.25, and the average hourly wage at casual jobs way under $20/hour - so that means working over half a day to afford crappy tickets. If this girl goes every week...cannot image spending that kind of bank on anything but shelter and basic living expenses.

[@LisaApril]

I love the faces of your avatar Mark! So realistic and cute.

[@spikeoramathon]

It seems like sometimes people watch these videos on TikTok or wherever and suddenly we've got otherwise sane people acting like idiots because "I saw a video..." I think it would be a good thing for humanity, if, before we tried something we saw/read on the Internet, we took at least a week to think about it before trying it, and then just DIDN'T DO IT anyway. And I realize the irony here, that I'm suggesting this on the Internet. I guess I suck, too.... STORY 2: WTF??? What if OP had some sort of disability preventing him from dancing? I don't even have an actual disability (other than being old and not in good enough shape to stand for a two-hour concert), but dancing a whole setlist would be out of the question. And why is it so black and white (that is, he has to learn ALL the songs)? couldn't even learning one of the songs be enough? I'd say run. And, lol, Metamuse is just too similar to Metamucil (a well-known laxative where I'm from), so this old fogey is now giggling like a schoolgirl. okay, sounds like the actual concert wasn't that bad. I think I might have overreacted saying "run."

[@GiordanDiodato]

Story 2: It's a Japanese thing.

[@spikeoramathon]

@@GiordanDiodato Fair enough. As I love Japanese food and art, I suppose I can roll with the dancing. :) Just don't expect me to dance, lol.

[@sunnysday59]

The idol culture sounded like harmless fun to me. I'm glad he at least fun. Mark asked what we do while we're listening? I watch these videos every night before bed and I play solitaire on my pc while I'm listening. It's how I relax and have a pleasant ending to my day, no matter how the rest of it went. Mark's voice is very soothing and sometimes he has funny stories or the reddit stories are fun, or sweet and often outrageous. Either way I am completely hooked.

[@Afterburner]

Story 1 - I think this whole trend of doing proposals at weddings took off from the wedding proposal of the two butlers in the Parent Trap movie. It sort of was a Hollywood "permission" that was given to people to do that and people don't realize it is a bad thing to do. I'm with OP and her fiance' - It is their wedding and they have the right to keep the focus on them.

[@TheArnaa]

Two iron clad wedding rules: don’t wear white clothes and don’t propose, announce a pregnancy or any other life event. 🤦‍♀️

[@laurenevers8644]

Lols, isn't that 4?

[@TheArnaa]

@@laurenevers8644 Counted them as one under the general heading of life event. 🙂

[@dm9078]

We need more about Jake and Hannah! But glad the friend pulled his head from his arse.

[@rf159a]

Story 2: During the month of Halloween, in the states they show the movie: "Rocky Horror Picture Show". At midnight on certain nights, movie theaters will show the picture and the patrons will follow along the movie and create complete chaos but in a good way. They throw rice, toilet paper, have water pistols, run around the theater, etc. I kinda understand about these fan groups. From what I read about Japanese culture, this is completely normal.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Unfortunately, no. It's only the crazy stalker fans that act like the girlfriend, most don't care much

[@ecos889]

I give the BF a point for asking first, but loses a tonne for keep insisting after asking at max twice.

[@Lady0Grayson]

The idol thing made me think of the anime Kakegurui, the idol there is exactly everything OP described. The fans knew every single lyric, every dance, the glow sticks where there too, she also knew the birthday of every single one of her fans, and they had quotas of You Tube watching to keep her videos on top. Also, in the anime Agretsukko, you can see the Idol ambience and yeah, it's like OP says. It's just wild 😅

[@dave7865]

these grand event proposals usually involve the family and friends of the couple, how likely is it that all of those people will be invited to someone else's wedding

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@YuumiMa1n]

I don’t believe that unfortunately, but I appreciate you!!

[@carolroberts4614]

Hi Broken! I hope you had a good birthday?

[@telinhajp]

Broken, wishing you a wonderful week ahead! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

​@@carolroberts4614I did thank you 🤗🤗💜💜

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

​@telinhajp I hope you have one too telinha 🤗🤗💜💜

[@bethanntay]

Having my partner with me is more important than learning dance. She is not the type of person I'd be with.

[@Yourlocaltrashgoblin]

Spaghetti and meatballs while watching Mark Narrations….. yeah this is a good time :D Also S1: I’m glad it all ended well but it was a rather odd story, friend seems kinda inconsiderate in general, I’m sorry but disappointed should not be handled like that, i feel like there’s more we really don’t know S2: op was fair in what he said, but also that kind of obsession is kinda concerning (this is coming from an autistic person who has to regulate my hyperfixations) we may be missing quite a lot, but how much money has she spent on this? She’s traveling prefectures regularly to see them, and she’s close enough to the idols they know her bfs name. It doesn’t seem parasocial, even still, it’s concerning.

[@ScottyFang]

MARK IMMA APPRECIATE YOU POSIN THIS SECOND VIDEO BEFORE I GOTTA WORK thank you mannn

[@carolroberts4614]

It's 11pm here in the UK. I meant to have an early night!

[@Julienna]

STORY 1 - I guess that John also asked on Reddit and that is where he came back to his senses and apologized. LOL! It would be funny if Mark found his post. :D His apology was too good to be true coming from a person, who called OP selfish before. So I guess, he said what he was mentored to say. :D Good for him that he was able to self-reflect!

[@olispaamv]

I've been to some idol and vocaloid concerts and I love the choreos with the glowsticks xD (and fan chants, they're fun too) It's so much fun but I wouldn't expect a nonfan to get all the choreos, just some or just one would be nice if they're able to but it's definitely not a must, at least I think so.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Well, I don't know about everyone else, but my day has been relaxing. I'm having some pain in my shoulders today, but that is OK. lol, pain means I am still alive and kicking!

[@jonmendelson1104]

I dunno, pain in your shoulders shouldn't have much to do with you kicking. Maybe being kicked or punching, but not from kicking! (Sorry, I'm more of a smart ass than normal when I'm half asleep after taking nyquil).

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

@jonmendelson1104 I have torn tendons in both shoulders, but the cortisone shots only last about 3 months, then I have to wait 3 months for the next shots 🤣

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

And all is well, my friend, I am the same way, lmao!

[@kimberleybaker8624]

Listening while drawing on my shoes, got white shoes and am drawing colorful flowers on them

[@rainstorm571]

Story 1: It’s okay to ask, but once an No is given respect that and move along with a new plan

[@DestinationsChronicles]

Personally, first story, no brainer. YES! Our besties get engaged at our wedding. Sorry you cant' do this... OMG you were speechless when the option was presented. WHY do we live in a society where only "I" am important. OP? Glad you aren't my friend.

[@colleens1107]

Oh ok, I’m glad that OPs friend came to his senses about proposing at the wedding. I’m so curious where tf he got the idea that this was a good idea. It is a well known etiquette that you NEVER propose, wear white, or announce a pregnancy at someone else’s wedding

[@morganssmashingpearls3329]

I’m imagining Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil dancing in the Beds Are Burning video….but to J pop.

[@Silence-1170]

Hi waffles hope you are all doing well today! Stay safe and stay positive waffles!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@viv8871]

Hi Mark and waffle gang! Today I've been cleaning the house and studying for a certification test as breaks. Perfect cleaning material.

[@cyberspinosaur1145]

Cleaning me snake's tub while listening to you. Always have a great time hearing you read and tell stories

[@lienemeid]

I’m heading for surgery now, twilight sedation. I’m going to put in earphones, and listen to your videos! You are going to be my very welcome company in the next 4 hours ❤

[@jenniferfoote5442]

I dont do anything particularly interesting while watching/listening but as soon as i get up i make coffee and immediately bring up a Mark video before anything else..super relaxing way to start the day 😊😊

[@yurik1994]

Mark, you have no idea how many cars i’ve diagnosed and fixed while listening lol. Your channel was also the reason i’ve got yourube premium, so i can listen whenever and wherever lol. Thanks for doing this!

[@knitwit9447]

Im listening to this video while i crochet and eat a steamed red bean bun! I highly recommend them if you can find them at markets that sell asian food/restaurants that have them

[@Zeracheil]

Story 2: that is combo a culture clash and also might be that particular fandom. I don't know how true it is for Jpop groups but Kpop groups that have a following in Japan in order to get tickets you have to being paying into the fan clubs and the tickets are sold through a lottery system, so no guarantee on even getting tickets let alone where you'll be sitting. (if this is the same for her group she has to be paying out $$$$$$ to get consistent front rows). The "Glow sticks" are light sticks, normally in a color and design designated by the group itself, it creates an "Ocean" as it's called and looks REALLY REALLY cool especially in the larger stadiums like the tokyo dome. It started off as a Kpop thing but seems to be catching on in japan (might be why the light colors are kinda all over the place) The japanese fan clubs are incredibly organized, and if she's higher up in the club I can see why she would be very 'you have to learn this!' but it's still crappy on her part, she knows he's not a Stan. Though honestly from the sounds of it the group doesn't seem to be that large, especially if they are doing this stuff weekly and only in small venues.

[@psyentific]

Re: J-pop, it sounds like she got tickets in the fan area where they'll be very visible. If he looks like a rock musician it's pretty typical for men to be stoic at shows where they aren't fans, but if you were in the fan area it would be considered rude. TBH I would pick a few of the 'popular' songs from the band to learn, not use one of the lightsticks and approach it in good humor. You'll be a 'baka gaijin' and get a pass no matter how long you live there.

[@GiordanDiodato]

a good idea for him: Don't go to the concert.

[@miloveXzelda]

Story 2: i don't want to be that one but (nerd emoji and point finger emoji) the kind of dance she is expecting to do is called "wotagei" and is popular between wotas (idol fans) to do in concerts, the kind of steps are really repetitive but kind of draining because you are waving the lighsticks stretching your arms in a really fast way, i understand the girlfriend because it's actually not that hard to memorise and it might be a good gesture of him to be interested in her hobies and because the steps repeat a lot BUT i get the OP too because wotagei is really exhausting, so as a compromise he could learn just how to chant in between songs and wave the lighsticks in a light way, not all hardcore wotas do wotagei so it might be a good compromise and the chant is almost always the same with some variatons between members and songs

[@fionapriddin5377]

Love your stories as always Mark! I’m usually gardening while listening to you on KZbin… muddy hands, sweat and tomatoes 🍅 😂

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 1: Hey Mark, SOP stands for Standard Operating Procedure. Love ya, man!

[@Dan_Hazard]

16:35 really like this AniMark with the Phone 😅 Looks cool 😎

[@rf159a]

First Story: My bet is John went on Reddit and told his side of the story and got hammered by all the responses!!

[@CyeOutsider]

As soon as they said no, out came the manipulation: "You don't want us to get married!!". That's a red flag to me.

[@oliviaksiag6163]

If I was OP, I would tell Holly what her bf was trying to do. Not because he asked, but the fact that he threw a tantrum that OP said no, especially since she said "I know Holly wouldn't like you proposing like that," I would just need to warn her what type of man she's with.

[@dk9619]

I had heard the first part of Story 1 and so I was very happy to hear the update!

[@elizabethrossi7604]

1: NEVER a good idea. HE is being selfish. It is YOUR wedding.

[@Light_the_Night]

I'm a comic artist/story writer, I draw new pages while listening to you reading stories, I should update my KZbin with art but I'm having Anxiety for a long time and bla bla bla... But not to sound like I'm flirting, which I'm not, your voice is calm and soothing, when I'm close to an anxiety attack, it helps listening, I listen to funny playlists - nothing dramatic, because that doesn't help with my anxiety. I have too much empathy and I'd burst into tears for a complete stranger who posted on Reddit, that you are reading. I always think I'm not worth shedding tears for or talk about my problems. I get a lot of online bullying, all because of some stupid reason and it's going so far, they send messages on my birthday with: 'Why aren't you dead yet?' - so yeah, I ignore a lot of things while drawing drafts for the comic, if there's someone who'd I'd love to voice one of my characters, that would be you.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey can you take care of yourself? Just do one small thing that will make yourself happy. And if you feel like you can do more, please stretch, drink some water, and eat something. You matter so much. I send all the virtual love. 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@telinhajp]

❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

​@@telinhajp🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@jacearmor5274]

The only people who go to weddings with the intent propose to come out, announced their pregnancy, or propose are people who are attention seekers.

[@Afterburner]

Story 2 - I checked out Metamuse for 30 seconds - Figuratively speaking, I pulled the ejection handle and was screaming "Make it stop! Oh dear GOD... make it STOP!" all the way to safety on the good Earth....

[@DisneyChar]

S1 nta. He either needs to be uninvited or you need to ruin the surprise. The way he attacked, you can not trust him to behave.

[@telinhajp]

Heeello, Mark and Poppy! Big hugs from Tokyo! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@justabunneh6490]

He like Metal, she likes idol groups? Solution is a BABYMETAL concert!!!

[@Yori6552]

This is sort of irrelevant, but the glow stick dancing mentioned in the idol story is probably wotagei. (For pronunciation, think "Woah-taah-gay".) It's a form of choreographed dance with glowsticks fans do (Often with chants involved on top of singing along) that are meant to be done in unison to hype up the idols while they're on stage. Some of it is simpler, but some of it goes crazy and can look like an awesome laser light show or a sea of dancing stars peeking through the bright stage lights. It's actually really cool to see how well some groups who do wotagei dance videos to different songs can sync up...but it's pretty unreasonable to expect a newcomer who isn't a huge fan of a group to learn 20+ dances AND songs in 2 weeks. I think OP could have been more gentle with their words since this is Mie's favourite group, but language barriers are a thing, and "I don't want to" probably meant the same in their head as "I can't put this much effort into learning this much in so little time." Maybe a good middle ground if this ever came up again would be to tell her the time limit is too short and ask if they could focus on learning a few songs that Mie feels are the most important or her favourites in case there isn't enough time to learn everything. It'd show that OP cares, but maybe cut them more slack because they'd be trying.

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: If anyone proposed to me at another person's wedding I would feel like I'm not important enough.

[@mikkolaki24]

The thing is, that is the norm for Japan. The idol industry, or generally the entertainment industry, is literally hardcore. Fans are truly devoted to these idols. That is the norm for that country. It has become a parasocial relationship type where there are certain expectations for both sides, even to the personal life of these idols. Going to events and fan meets for idols is common as well. In my fandom, Love Live, there are usually synchronized lightstick movements, colors, and chants that is necessary to be said while in concert. I’m not a native japanese speaker and it really is hard but is necessary to create the whole environment for both the audience and idol. I do see the point of OP in story 2 as its a whole culture shock. Mei should have eased the boyfriend in. As a gaijin, he’s excused to most of the norms as well. Just be respectful and all.