My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And He Is FURIOUS That I Saw Someone Else r/Relationships

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Dude broke up with Op for a girl he barely knows and is mad she moved tf on and slept with someone else. Bro it doesn't matter if you don't like him, _you_ dumped Op, you don't get to dictate who she does and doesn't see after that.

[@silveri7712]

I bet he's been soloing his own bed this whole time too. Clearly waiting on his one true love whom he regularly tortures for self gratification. If you read these OP, Seriously, this 'man' is a child. Cut him out. You're hardly human in his eyes, just his emotional rag that he owns. You see how he is kind at first? You let him in a bit, he gets comfortable, and suddenly takes control by demeaning you. You know better clearly, but emotional abuse is a hard thing to walk away from. He might try to come back over and over, but that's because he can't keep someone else, so he's trying to default to you, don't let him.

[@dionysus_adores]

He might've wanted to keep op on the side just in case things don't work out with the other girl. Op was abused into thinking she was 100% at fault f that

[@silveri7712]

@@dionysus_adores I bet the other girl had zero interest in him, she hardly knew him. That's how things never happened there.

[@doggolovescheese1310]

Right? Like she shouldn't even feel bad for not telling him. It wasn't ANY of his damn business He seems like a controling jackass, and she should completely cut off his manipulating abuse.

[@ladyv5655]

Dude probably hoped that OP would be heartbroken, beg him to come back and get insanely jealous of the other girl. He doesn't care so much about her, he just wants to keep his options open.

[@hannahdavis5725]

Story 1: Why on Earth do you owe an explanation to your Ex for someone else? You don't. You were exes, you weren't cheating, you were broken up, you don't owe shit to him!

[@dawnoheee9524]

It was a tiresome post. I hope she cuts all contact with that loser.

[@videofan1010]

She's young. Hopefully she grows up and cuts this out.

[@coreymartin6486]

I don't think she did it as oweing the ex an apology, but rather than doing it for her own moral compass as something that can be thought of intentionally going out her way to hurt the ex. That said, if she felt like she sincerely apologized once, for her own sake, than don't keep doing it to appease somebody. Simply blocked and move on.

[@tishjanuary7379]

The OP’s whole mindset is unhealthy. They owe the ex nothing & it doesn’t even sound like the hook up was done to get back at the ex. OP needs to cut contact & move on.

[@Midnight0Mistress]

All I can say was, omg, have some self respect, you're his back up!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Okay he dumped you the day your grandfather died then thinks it's wrong for you to get with someone THREE MONTHS later. He dumped you! You cannot be wrong.

[@Swnsasy]

They both are acting like they are in middle school.. Him 99%.. It's just weird why she is apologizing for doing something when she's single!! He broke up with her for someone else..

[@mrs.h2725]

Women have GOT to stop thinking they owe any guy (who they're not currently in a committed relationship with) an explanation or need to ask permission for who they choose to sleep with or date. Not your dad, not your brother, and sure as shit not your ex lol.

[@ashleymcgaha5794]

V

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@Swnsasy OP fucked the guy that she already had an emotional affair with previously during the relationship... they are both super toxic or just extremely immature

[@marshawargo7238]

@@Swnsasy Not Just Someone! "SHE could be The one." What? What about OP, the One he's dating now? His statement about The One should have told OP it's over, she's just his entertainment until the wife material comes along! OP is the Ahole to herself if she doesn't stay away from that jerk!

[@TsukiKageTora]

The fact people are upset their exes are not miserably alone when they break up is one of the many reasons I fear for the future of the world

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? It just seems like people are losing their ability to apply even the smallest bit of logic to their lives.

[@zozocecp]

It’s honestly so narcissistic and it’s like they view people as npcs. “If I’m not involved then clearly they just sit there waiting for me”

[@floraposteschild4184]

It's not like it's a new thing. What's new is that people can express it so very clearly by text, social media, rap songs, and a hundred other ways. Whatever happened to suffering in silence.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 1 … OP’s ex BF is abusive.. she needs to dump him and block him permanently..He’s just keeping her unsettled and insecure about herself.. it’s not going to get better, he’ll continue to hurt her..

[@LilChuunosuke]

The only time I think its justified to think that is when your ex was either a cheater or an abuser. Because on that case, it's not "I want to see my ex suffer" but "I don't want any more people to be hurt by them."

[@judev3197]

1st story: OP, honey, listen. As someone way older and a tad bit wiser, you don’t owe him the curtesy of checking with him before you hook up with someone. He dumped you! He’s using the fact that you still have feelings for him to keep you hooked in case he wants you sometime. Please value yourself & tell him to get bent. You’re worth it.

[@Mewse1203]

Right? That's so messed up.

[@jennilynne1977]

Amen!

[@jaymel4691]

Block this abusive asshole and cut him out if your life completely. If he ever wants to talk, just maintain silence. Never speak to him again. He dumped you, you were broken up, what you do after that is none of his business and you owe him NOTHING, OP. Throw this trash away and never think about it again.

[@ginathecookie]

Yeah Normally you wait like 2 weeks out of courtesy but even then the bf has no right to act like that No only was he the dumper but.. you vent to friends, not your ex

[@NoOne-fo1di]

Lol right? Guy I was in the marines with came home with me one weekend. He had divorced 11 months before and I introduced him to a girl a knew and they hooked up a few times and his ex wife called and cussed me out for helping him "betray" her lol never met that chick

[@MsBELLE7]

Story 1; OP seriously needs therapy. The amount of anxiety and guilt she has over a minor fender bender is not normal.....

[@refinery9co.139]

This 100%

[@philwill0123]

​@@refinery9co.139I'm betting a lot of that was ex trapping her into dependency. If she needed to go anywhere she now needs to depend on him. He knows how to trap her in her fears.

[@stephanien6237]

I’m more worried about the fact that she continued to talk to a clearly abusive AH and believe his gaslighting.

[@ravenfox926]

S2: Asshat thought he could have a Sweet Little Wifey while he screws everything in and beyond their area code. Disappearing without any warning, message or note is......PERFECT.

[@335chr]

Or he didn't actually do anything and she is freaking out over nothing

[@ravenfox926]

@@335chr NO, he cheated. OP confirmed it in an update.

[@desertgirl8647]

This 1st story had me screaming out loud in my car! This poor girl needs to get a clue! Bless her heart!

[@DrownedInExile]

Right? She was really getting on my nerves. She needed to stop simping, accept that it was over, and block him everywhere.

[@walkz007]

@@DrownedInExile proper simp this one🤣🤣

[@tifadreamers]

no, literally. I kept screaming "WHY" for everything she said from start to finish. bless her and I hope her therapy helps her

[@pickle_pup8187]

Me too! I kept yelling “you owe him NOTHING!!!!Tell him to buzz off!!!”

[@bribri2925]

The girl was talking about therapy, she needs to work on fixing this mentality, Get her priorities straight, Stop people pleasing, How to recognize abusers, THEN her coping for accidents…

[@kawaiipinkbunnychu]

Story one: He’s calling her nasty names for hooking up with someone AFTER they broke up but he was catching feelings for girls left and right. He seems like the kind of guy who would cheat.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

He IS the kind of guy who would cheat. He gets mad when OP hooks up with other guys, but gladly tosses her aside when a cute girl passes by.

[@lindajarvis9965]

THEY did not break up, HE dumped HER.

[@lindajarvis9965]

THEY did not break up, HE dumped HER.

[@l.b.9522]

@@lindajarvis9965 whats your point? That still means they broke up. When one person doesnt want to be with someone else, they break up. Doesnt matter who did it or if it was consensual. They still broke up.

[@lindajarvis9965]

@@l.b.9522 My point is, if you dump someone, you do not have the right to be indignant when the other person dates again.

[@Khaisz.]

Story 1: damn that's some top tier manipulation the EX is running. Constantly breaking down OP to the point when OP no longer can be alone without the EX. Then the EX will constantly cheat and screw other girls while OP is at home as a "safe place and backup" for the EX.

[@britnicox3929]

1: I am so mad for her that she believes she owed her ex ANY apology for sleeping with someone after *he broke up with her bc he wanted to be with someone else, and told her in detail about it* one day I hope she blocks and never speaks to this garbage man again 2: the only thing I’d change is that I would have put the sticky note on the moms shrine or lingerie, with the comment “like father like son” as well as the names

[@jgw5491]

Yeah, I'd leave a note on the shrine: "Congratulations! You've honored your mother by becoming your father's mini-me!" 🙈🙉🙊 And I'm glad that OP got to see the results of her ex's tantrum.

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

I'd take a shit in the protein shake as I was making it.

[@dustyrose192]

Id tell all of the girls

[@AndyyWithAY]

"Who the bloody hell has time to cheat"? This is why I'm subscribed to this channel. Mark says what I'm thinking. Between work, hobbies, and trying to self-care I have barely any time. There's never time for me to have a whole ass affair going on.

[@ajzephyros7454]

obviously their hobby is cheating so that's how they have the time

[@LunaP1]

@@ajzephyros7454 😆

[@rustypotatoes]

@@ajzephyros7454 disgusting hobby bleh

[@thebladeofchaos]

sadly it's easier then you think. you can switch your self-care time or just say you're working and people early on don't question it

[@damien678]

Let alone 6!! _6 affairs!!!!_ I'm literally polyamorous and don't got the time for that many partners rn like wtf

[@smol_angr_void7224]

My heart breaks for OP in story 2, she already went through so much, and losing her ability to trust on account of this utter AH is tragic. Tbh along with the note she should've contacted all of the other 7 women and let them know wtf he was doing to all of them

[@sonya7276]

I feel bad that she has misconceptions about therapy

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

@@sonya7276therapy isn’t good for everyone. Every time I’ve tried it I havent had good experiences.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: He lost any right to know about your romantic life when he dumped you. He's keeping you as his backup plan, and you're letting him. He's abusive and toxic. Stop going back to him and go to therapy instead.

[@zachf748]

*_Story #1_* OP needs a ton of therapy. That post is just absolutely ridiculous. No mentally well adult could *_ever_* think they were the AH in that story.

[@iasomnium919]

Guy sounds like he mentally screwed her self-worth, picking her up and leaving her multiple times, guilting her for multiple things that weren't even her fault, demanding she respond to his harassing texts.... Yeah no, that guy's not worth the oxygen.

[@dragb9284]

Yeah girl is throwing up so many red flags

[@dopaminedrought395]

She's being emotionally manipulated, made to question her self worth and full of doubts. She put her trust in him and cares for him, but he is emotionally abusing her. Yes, she does need therapy, but for her own good, not for being "ridiculous". Blame the asshole boyfriend, not the victim.

[@mrs.h2725]

@@dopaminedrought395 No I can also blame the victim in this story. She's in college, not middle school. She may be emotionally immature, but she should have gained at least some basic knowledge of relationship dynamics at this point. We need to start having higher expectations of our young women and teaching them how to recognize when someone is being abusive towards them. And to put aside the whole rose colored glasses Disney fairy tale ideals of love. Maybe have a 101 class of 'How to not be a doormat' haha.

[@Cel3ere5]

Gaslighting is a hell of a drug.

[@ronhall5395]

Dude wanted to be free to hook up when he was out of town on his co-op. So he broke up, expecting her to wait for him to comeback. When she moved on he freaked out. Once he broke up, she was free to see whoever she wanted.

[@zoemeece6345]

The first op: I had a similar situation with my ex-husband. He cheated on me, blamed me for it. His excuse as to how it was my fault was because I was Active Duty in the military. Said he wanted a divorce and I agreed. When he realized I was actually going through with the divorce and moving on I cut him off from my paycheck he started to drag his feet and beg for me to talk to him and “work through my issues”. “MY ISSUES?! I divorced him and he tried to stay in contact with me but he’s now blocked on everything. This is just a very summed up version. There’s a lot more to this story. Lol. I’ve been married currently almost 3 years to my now amazing husband have a beautiful 8 month of daughter. Life’s crazy 😂

[@thiccredgyal3404]

I'm happy for you

[@susankaempfer8427]

11:59 There’s a special place in hell for people that uproot you in the name of a relationship WHILE cheating on you.

[@oliviatiwaladeadedokun2929]

First girl has no self-esteem. The guy says he's leaving you because he fancies another girl. Then bashes you for moving on. After you came back, he tells you he fancies another person. You owe him no apologies. You matter girl!!

[@paden1865able]

I had ex-boyfriends like that and I just told each one that we're not together anymore and has no right to input into my life. Sucks that their personality is so controlling and insecure.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 just cut all contact. Get therapy if needed. This is a game to him. He is immature. He keeps entertaining people who are not even a valid option. He's never satisfied. You've shown him you'll accept his 💩. Don't do that anymore. If you're that terrible why does he want you back? What does that say about HIM? Full NC is the only way

[@platinum_noelle]

"if needed" it's clearly needed lmao

[@candiebarr6745]

I wonder how long OP has been abused for if she thinks she has to say anything about hooking up with someone when she's single.

[@dopaminedrought395]

Probably more than she realized. She sounds like a classic combo of a kind empathetic person who has been emotionally abused by assholes :(

[@hismom5600]

That's a narcissist who's breaking up with you repeatedly to go back to another source of supply. And also to train you into submission. Flee for the hills OP. And seek therapy. Speaking from experience.

[@RokoFireFox]

Story 2. That;s also the first thing that comes to my mind. How does someone cheat with 7 people! Like the time? The effort? Having to remember what all you told each person. Cause he was using different names and ages for them. Like...idk people like that are scary.

[@tallyp.7643]

He uses these girls like "Days of the Week" underwear, probably calls them by the day of the week he meets them usually in his head, too. Harder to mistake Miss Thursday with Miss Saturday that way.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's super creepy for people to be obsessed with your bust. I've had this happen and it's so uncomfortable. And when you have a large chest there's always accidental cleavage unless I'm in a turtle neck. M is either jealous of OP or secretly attracted. She's a guest in OP's home.

[@ranger3576]

Or perhaps she’s caught her boyfriend staring at OP’s chest. And instead of addressing the issue, is trying to force op to cover up.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

She is jealous. Either her boyfriend likes OP or the girlfriend is insecure about her body.

[@akelly4207]

I have always had big boobs compared to my size and always hated them. So much so that I started dressing in very oversized tops to hide them. Then in my twenties wore sports bras to minimise them that were so tight sometimes I couldn’t catch a proper breath and my mother would have to help me unhook them. Breasts are so over sexualised in society some people genuinely don’t seem to know their biological function. I have problems with posture, back pain, neck pain, all related to the size of my boobs. The very last thing I need would be other women body shaming me in my own home for them. I am always impressed when people go with the mature, measured approach in these situations because I’m fairly sure I would have thrown a fit.

[@debymello4756]

@@akelly4207 plenty of people take very long to know breastfeeding is a thing and when find out think it's disgusting or sexualize it, know of one who straight up said it's not milk and compared to mothers feeding babies their pee

[@akelly4207]

@@debymello4756 It really blows my mind.

[@katraylor]

One of the saddest details in the second story is that the boyfriend has his own dog who's being left alone now, presumably losing his best dog friend and likely the better and more loving of his human parents. Poor thing. :(

[@spongebobonmolly]

i have a similar story. i was on vacation and my boyfriend at the time texted me saying he wanted to talk but not right now, when i got home. so i was just filled with dread the rest of my vacation. when i got back home he told me to come over. he had a sad acoustic song open on his laptop. he sat me down and made me GUESS what he did. i said “you cheated.” he hit play on the sad song and started crying. i’m seeing stars. we broke up and he was immediately talking to random girls on fb. i started seeing someone else and he had the nerve to tell me i broke his trust when he was the one who cheated in the first place and was ALSO SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. he said if i really loved him i would wait for him to “fix himself” (by hooking up with random girls???) lmao fuck that

[@iasomnium919]

He played a sad acoustic song to tell you he cheated?? LMFAO, does he watch teenage romance movies? I would have laughed in his face, right before flipping the finger. 😂😂😂

[@pippo17173]

Really....he had to play a sad song about this? Also he is sure showing the fixing himself by doing that. Nah man that is a manipulation tactic.

[@alyzu4755]

I'm surprised he didn't stand outside your window at 6 AM with a boom box. What a tool!

[@capucnechaussonpassion14]

Him creating his own little breaking up moment playlist is sooooo cringe what was that supposed to do ? Probably make you cry with him. The Fuck ?

[@blueberrycupcake5144]

WTF so he really expected, that you would be be his backup girlfriend in case he couldn't find someone else yuck!

[@MaryTheresa1986]

"We were on a break!"

[@Dan-qx8sn]

Pivot!

[@stephanieoppon-kuntu1080]

Yeah but it been less then a day tho

[@valeriegiunca6018]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂

[@cristalbailey8531]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@TarisLuna]

1 story NTA Honey, he's a narcissistic ahole. So he's fine to break up with you multiple times for other women, but you can't have something when you are broken up? Please stop letting him hurt you, you owe that to yourself. Block him, tell the people who are important to you what he did and move on.

[@Fairygoblet]

the woman in the second story shouldn't shy away from getting therapy. it might take her a bit to find somebody who meshes well with her, and going through multiple people is probably going to be emotionally exhausting, but she clearly needs help and they don't charge double or triple due to severity of trauma. therapists simply are encouraged to go to therapy themselves on the regular.

[@platinum_noelle]

yeah i found that comment of hers kinda weird, like...who told her that bs? bc it sounds like the one who did simply wanted to make sure she didn't get the help she needed.

[@Fairygoblet]

@@platinum_noelle it seems to me like it was one of those cases where people think they know a lot about a subject they know nothing about. This person probably watched one too many movies about therapy or had one too many friends that had an issue with it and passed on bad advice to op.

[@gabriellemeche992]

As a black woman, I can tell you therapists can be horrible. I was very depressed in high school and had anxiety. Still do but I went to a therapist, one the school recommended to my family. They divulged my information to a couple of my teachers and I ended up being a topic of interest that is a chronic pill popper. So, yeah I do understand her especially if she had a terrible time at it.

[@domoniquer.4342]

As a Black woman, it legit took me until my mid- 30s to find a therapist that meshed due to experiencing racism, homophobia, and then respectably politics and misogynoir. It's the damndest thing being told you are complicit in your abuse as a child, you aren't actually trying, and then having a therapist clutch her pearls while conversely telling you to stop complaining abt your parents behavior b/c that's jst how good Christian Black folks do things.

[@lynprincevalli5221]

​@@gabriellemeche992as a white woman who upvoted on your comment I wanted to explain that I am APPALLED hearing what you went through! Breaks my heart yet I am not in least bit surprised. I hope you now know the truth and are stronger for it! Be blessed!

[@dawnstone4424]

First Story OP has nothing to apologize for . The jerk broke up with her then proceeds to tell her all about girls he likes. Then gets mad at her for hooking up with a guy he hated? Waaaah!! OP needs to tell him to kick rocks completely.

[@tracicolvis7382]

Haven't listened to the update yet and I'm already furious with this guy! It just seems like he tries to keep her knocked down so she'll be grateful whenever he decides she's worth some of his time. Disgusting.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: Girl, he put the product back. The product (you) now gets to do whatever she wants with her own body. Block him forever and move on. Story #2: That is some shiny spine, OP. I am in admiration of your resolve and organization. Story #3: That was a pretty shitty thing for her to say and do. I don't know if it's divorce-worthy, but you need to talk it out, let the chips fall where they may, and see what happens next. It's not really what she said and did that is important but the impact of those things on you. They've clearly diminished your feelings for her and you need to share that if you want to move on, either to rebuilding your marriage or to divorce. Story #4: That sounds like a 'You' problem, Girlfriend Who Doesn't Even Live Here Or Pay Rent/Bills.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

The poster that said that when you have an abusive childhood and you seek out drama it is because you seek those same dynamics... I am not going to pretend I didn't get teary. I know some people think that my life is boring now. My boyfriend is very normal, he is very soft, he has never even raised his voice at me and I have never felt so safe. Learning how to love softly and calmly has been such a worthwhile journey. I grew up thinking love was passion, arguments and drama. It doesn't need to be and I could not be more relieved. Over the course of our relationship I have become disabled and he has cared for me so gently. I adore him and I feel sad for the girl that I was, who had dramatic relationships I her youth and was angry and even tried to sabotage this relationship at the beginning because I was certain that if I pushed him he would reveal a dark truth.

[@justine8387]

What feels "normal" often feels safe even if it is the exact opposite.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@@justine8387 that's so true, I sought out those same dynamics and needed therapy to understand that "funny" stories about my mum almost killing me were not... actually funny. He has covid right now and is sleeping in the other room to try and keep me safe, even though we both love to fall asleep next to each other. There is so much more to love than anxiety and angry passion. Better to learn that late than never.

[@brendahere]

1. You do realize your just a backup girlfriend? You never will be anything else. He knows you got a soft spot for him, so he is getting off on seeing how much he can mess with you. Take the hint, go no contact.

[@nela3986]

First story... I don't get how this is even an issue... That dude ended the relationship and even brags to her how he likes another girl how he goes out with her and thinks she likes him back. Why do they even have contact after this? He is a walking red flag and has no right to have a say in OPs life... Nutcases

[@TraceyBoyland]

He's probably manic. To many crushes instantly. Then doesn't want you to move on. You need help too. Low self esteem. Doormat personality.

[@videofan1010]

She's young - to be fair.

[@damien678]

Just gotta say, I love the way you worded this. Simple and to the point.

[@princess2none]

The one with the verbally abusive college. Ex-boyfriend..... I had one of those. He was manipulative and insecure and had a lot of unresolved issues that he took out on me and I was dumb enough to go back for 10 years. If someone treats you like this run, don't let anyone convince you that you can't do any better and that you have to deal with their mistreatment

[@fcold9402]

1. OP thinks she is an outspoken person but the only thing she has to feel guilty about in that relationship is not telling ex what a controlling, manipulitave, loser he is and how he has no say over who she dates after he breaks up with her. If she had any self respect she would not only not want to get back with him but would have been the one to break up.

[@locusxe1411]

I don’t really know how to feel for story 4. I disagree with that one commenter saying maybe she didn’t mean settle in that way. Usually when we hear the word settle in relationships it means the partner wanted a more comfortable option and you basically were luck they chose you. I don’t believe the wife saying it was a misunderstanding. Why didn’t she tell Op that he texted her when he did back then? Instead she basically had her bags packed but changed her mind at the last second. This is just my thoughts though

[@matthewfoley1875]

Yeah, I've never heard that word used when someone thinks positively of their relationship. I don't think I could stay in that relationship when that's the word she uses to describe it and had her bags packed after one call from an ex after 4 years. If she had said she decided to 'settle down' I could see it working after discussion, but it would take a lot of time to rebuild the trust that had been destroyed.

[@BloodInTheStrawberries]

That story doesn't feel like a happy or good ending, it just was her making excuses. Also why would she "exaggerate" something to her friends when she thought her husband wasn't going to be there. There are contradictions to many of the things she says, and the way she was going to just leave him after a small fight and run off instead of being an adult and communicating with him just feels wrong. Like, you're a grown ass woman- It's not rare adults are immature but wow... What just isn't clicking for me is that she said all of this to her friends to what she thought was behind her husband's back. Why would she need to say these things if it weren't the truth? Idk, the whole situation leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and I'm skeptical and feel bad for the OP. I doubt they are going to work out, I wish I didn't but something isn't right here. For OP's sake I hope I'm absolutely wrong.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

I don't buy her 'clarification' whatsoever. Recently isn't years ago.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: wait..what? He broke up with her...then got mad that she dated someone else....while broken up. And all this after telling her he caught feelings for someone else. Bro...he's not a hypocrite. A)He doesn't deserve a heads up at all B)he doesn't get to choose who she fates. This guy told her that she wasn't the one on at least 2 occasions, guilted her about being with someone else while they were broke up and he was actively pursuing other women both together and not. OP really needs to bounce this guy out of her life. He wasn't everything for anyone. He messages her harassing messages and didn't like being ignored. Block him and move on already. He's shown time and time again he doesn't care.

[@Cel3ere5]

Story 1: that's what profound gaslighting looks like. Story 2: strong lady, good luck to her.

[@yque4733]

Story #1: OP doesn't owe his shitty ass ex any explanation about anything or anyone she does. She needs a damn spine.

[@Nstachow]

Story 2 is basically my life. My husband cheated on me for the first 5 years of our relationship and told me the week after our wedding. 4 years later, i finally left after lots of therapy and growing confidence in myself. I finally left last week, and it will get better. Wish i found out the same way this lady did and left with a bang.

[@projectjupiter5523]

congrats on leaving, i am so happy to hear that you got the help and support you needed to leave your awful ex and i hope life is going well for you ❤

[@GoldenMermaid]

12:38 "i love the man she raised but hate the one her husband did" such a powerful line. I wish the best for op

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

Story 1: BLOCK HIM. He clearly wants to keep being a consistent disturbance because he is mad that OP moved on and the chick he left OP for wasn’t on her level.

[@kev2020]

Story 1 is so toxic that BOTH of them had my heart racing. She's just as much to blame. She's the kid who has been stung 50 times and then opens the door every time the hornets come knocking. Block the man and tell your friends not to bring him up or tell him anything about you unless they want to be blocked as well.

[@vickimoss1943]

2nd story: The betrayal from cats comes when they steal a piece of chicken or a piece of fish from the counter or your plate. Not that I’m bitter! The little jerks! 😒😂

[@melanievictoria2541]

wow... the first story was painful to listen to. It saddens me that OPs self esteem was so damaged by her ex.

[@EveryDayALittleDeath]

For the last story, oh HELL no. No one gets to police what you wear in your own home. Hell, I'd start wearing the skimpiest tops I could find or walk around in just a bra out of spite. I have been singled out because of my large breasts so many times and I have zero patience for that kind of shit at this point.

[@JJerseyGirl]

Story 3- The wife "settled " for you but being with her ex who was obviously a drug addict was in her eyes a better choice for her. She only regrets her thoughts of leaving is now she knows the ex was an addict.

[@justine8387]

That is what unaddressed childhood trauma will do for you.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Divorce now; there is no going back!

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Write a letter to her, go no contact and divorce; there is no going back!

[@RobDaCajun]

I detest these confrontations these guys do. OP asks a question which boils down to “duck or walk”. What I mean is do you really love me? If so you stay. If not I then we divorce and separate. Of course they’re going to say how much you mean to them now. I think it’s better to “I know and what have you got to say for yourself.” Without telling any details. See how they react from there. Maybe 🤔 she’s telling some truth here. “I’ve changed since then” only means to me they realize no one else will put up with their crap. Or it’s they realize “I’m older now and other men don’t want me”. I’ve never told anyone that I can do better than my wife. Or I’m setting for her because she’s not bat crap crazy like my hot ex. Damn ladies, if you got to say something like that. Tell it to God (or the universe however you see it). You can’t be held responsible for saying something you didn’t say.

[@Mimino55-y5k]

Yep. OP is trying to all understanding in his update, but there is no way unhearing that. That worm of doubt will keep gnawing at him.

[@doggolovescheese1310]

Story 2, you DO need therapy you just need to find the right therapist. Saying you might never date again is proof all by itself.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 1: I think the only time you really need to give an ex a heads up about someone you’re dating is when children are involved. This guy is way out of line.

[@CharlieApples]

26:00 This has such a wholesome resolution. They communicated, and came to a mutual understanding. A strong and loving relationship is one where two people can be honest about their feelings and thoughts, even when you know it will upset the other person. That’s truth. That’s communication. And it’s the key to trust in any relationship. People are complex, and will go through things nobody could have predicted in life. If you love someone, you’ve got to accept that they’ll inevitably have thoughts and feelings that you wish they didn’t, but take reassurance in the fact that they love you enough to be with you. They chose you.

[@ljh5141]

Op#2, good for you girl. You are brilliant and have your life together. Bf is like baggage that will suck your soul dry and leave you as an empty husk. You are too good to have a fraction of a person, which is all he can give. You deserve someone that will love and respect you completely. Please give us an update when you are settled back at home with your pupper. I wish you the happiness and fulfillment that you have worked so hard for. Real friendships can be elusive, but when you find them, it will be worthwhile.

[@selinakyle_]

S1: How does she owe her cheating ex any explanation?! She moved on and lived her life. Her ex is moron! Hopefully she grows a backbone and keeps hooking up with all the guys he's been insecure over 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

I would always choose violence so I'd never ghost someone for cheating. If it was a husband I'd consider forgiveness, but never before marriage. Definitely leave the relationship, but I'd make a scene.

[@LunaP1]

Sneaking hot sauce or liquified iching powder into his condoms.😈

[@capucnechaussonpassion14]

Tbh i have trouble understanding why someone should get a pass because he trapped you with a wedding. Isn't it kinda worse in a way ?

[@Bettyangelus1210]

@@capucnechaussonpassion14 i agree. A piece of paper doesn’t make it any less shitty or excusable. If you cheat you should be sent packing no matter the situation. Kids, no kids, married, not married doesnt matter

[@nylanelson8660]

1st story: She was dating an Abusive Narcissist that still wants to get an reaction out of her. I can see from her words that she has self esteem issues & is easily manipulated & needs continued counseling to work on Her issues. Counseling can help her change her mind set so she can attract a healthy minded person instead of someone she allows in her life that treats her badly. Block his phone & on All social Media accounts too

[@stephanien6237]

Story 1: she needs to read about DARVO tactics from narcissists.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#4 - OP did what was right - nicely told the girl that OP is one who lives there and this person is not going to dictate anything that goes on. If she leaves and wants to tell her BF it is roommates or me - that is on her.

[@brandonhoward8060]

I get that Op pays rent but you live with guys who have girlfriends . You shouldnt be out of your room half nake. That in itself is disrespectiful. You could have cover up for the time she was there to not cause drama but you dont care about anyone but yourself.

[@samaryechic]

@@brandonhoward8060 it's hot and the gf doesn't live there. I'm not suffering for someone that doesn't live in my house. Imagine walking on eggshells in your own home. She has on a tank top and isn't half naked.

[@brandonhoward8060]

@@samaryechic you dont have to put on a sweater, just put on a shirt. Drama was created for no reason.

[@samaryechic]

@@brandonhoward8060 she had on a shirt, a tank top is a sleeveless shirt. How the hell you come to someone's house and dictate what they wear? The gf created drama in a house she doesn't live in. How you request someone to wear a sweater in a hot kitchen? And she also indicated that she didn't always wear tank tops but wore t-shirts as well. No one else's gf had an issue but one. The other guy's girlfriends had no issue. You're a guest in someone else's house, you don't get to dictate what they wear especially if nothing is wrong with it.

[@EvilTwin559]

All I could think during that first story was Ross Geller yelling.. "We were on a Break!"

[@johnpauljones9310]

Story 3: Notice the wife trashed him as the boring Plan B to her friends, but didn't offer to tell her friends that she didn't leave him because he was so great? Do you know why she didn't offer? Because her friends would have seen through that lie. Dude got Plan B'd and is too stupid to realize it.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Facts! She gaslit him like a pro.

[@josephtucker7181]

@@michaelwoods3651 She did serious damage control. Love the lie when she said it was a month after she declined the offer which yeah is not recently XD dude deserves it for being this dumb.

[@emilye5321]

@@josephtucker7181 I noticed how she said "recently" too. That doesn't mean a month 4 years ago after it happened. Recently is like a week ago or a month.

[@josephtucker7181]

@@emilye5321 Right. The math doesn't add up I guess the poor sap just doesn't want to believe it.

[@Alecswelms]

Thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one to see that.

[@redundant_raj]

Story 1: OP needs therapy for being an absolute doormat. No two ways about it. This acquiescent behaviour ain’t gonna change in her next relationship. She’s going to be a liability to herself unless she works on it.

[@Eirilyn]

Story 1 block him he is using you as a gf base in between other girls he is interested in. He is cruel and desperately wants you focused on him

[@jessicawolfe5861]

Wow. This guy is a disgusting, vicious creature. OP doesn’t deserve to have someone tear into her and guilt her into whatever he was getting out of this. He’s awful.

[@s.v.2796]

Second story: please be careful! Your safety more important than your possessions.

[@samauraipc16]

I have 12 cats, 2 rabbits and 2 tortoises. Babies seem better than dealing with ppl. Side note to the ghosting story. Dated a guy in college. Ghosted me suddenly for a year. Found out he was cheating on me the whole time and my best friend was even a brides maid for their wedding. While she knew I was upset he wasn't answering and her comforting she was also planning the wedding.. they weren't even close friends.. both are out of my life.. the guy has tried after a year at first treat things never happened he never left to I'm sorry but can we talk. I want to explain. Ya no.

[@mysticrose2766]

Story 3. She says "settled" I say chose wisely. She didn't think about the previous guy because she grew up.

[@AlyssMadigan]

Story 1: Dude broke up with his gf because he probably wanted to cheat on her, couldn't convince the random girl, thought if he broke off what he had he could try harder and FAILED. THEN got mad that his EX had a somewhat random fling without MUCH EFFORT with a guy who was probably a much better man than him which is why he made him insecure in the first place. In my experience, people who shame you and blame you and insult you about certain things are just guilty themselves or UPSET that they "can't keep up" with you. Like he obviously wanted every other girl AND you but couldn't even FATHOM you wanting anyone but him. He wanted you to just wait for him while he hopped on any girl he could. Only none of them wanted him, and now neither do you.

[@tifadreamers]

Story 1. haven't even finished listening to the saga, but I'm not going to lie, the moment we got to the part where she met the ex and started an on-off relationship with him, I let out a very loud "WHY?". Pretty sure my neighbour even heard it. I mean, wth was she thinking? after weeks of being tormented and forced to hear about his "crush" for another girl and him getting pissed off that she hooked up with another guy, and she just...took him back in? he never loved her. he just loved that she was so obsessed with him and that he had so much power against her

[@juliorodriguez4954]

His a text book narcissist. Ignore him. Narcissist hate not having any attention on them. I think that’s what triggered his hostile behavior towards you. Just ignore this narcissist, he would leave you alone. When he knows he doesn’t affect you.

[@christinaburney5935]

Your first clue he doesn't love you are you are only there as a placeholder is that he is always catching feelings for others. He doesn't love you, or will ever put you first.

[@glitchyglitchy3925]

Seven women? Even leaving ethics aside, that shit sounds exhausting.

[@sk8ergrrl1]

Story One: OP; please stop giving this man the time of day. He didn’t and doesn’t want or love you; he wanted to pursue other girls but wanted you to be waiting for him. It doesn’t work like that. If he wanted you; he’d be with you. He can’t have his nice, safe back-up plan. You don’t owe him anything, especially not a heads up that you’re dating or sleeping with other people. Block HIM and move on with your life WITHOUT him!

[@nai5949]

A 44 minute video at the end of a hectic day? Thanks Mark👍

[@pasalking7760]

Story 1 makes me want to make sure my daughter is as confident as possible

[@MistressSuki92]

story 1: why??? would you ever??? need to ""check in"" with your EX BOYFRIEND?? before you hook up with someone???? sweetie once the relationship is over, it's OVER. that means any say that person had in regards to who you got with is GONE. OP you need to get some self respect and tell your ex to go pound sand holy hell.

[@zachf748]

There’s being a doormat and then there’s OP. My lord, why she is still talking to her ex boggles my mind. And the fact that she could think for even one second that she was the a-hole here shows just how much therapy she needs.

[@sarahlyon157]

On the last story, I had a similar issue where I was at a friend's house and his wife asked me to put a bra on because her teenager kept looking. I told her that I wouldn't be coming over anymore in that case and my friend could visit me at my place or whatever.

[@linshannon4480]

I really hope OP#1 found a good therapist to help with her self-confidence. Her manipulative ex eroded her self-worth to such a degree she felt guilty for seeing someone 3 months after he dumped her, and I wouldn't put it past him to have been the one to foster her fear of driving (it keeps her dependent). As for the serial cheater, WOW! I really hope this OP never speaks to the ex or anyone related to him, and that she looks for a good trauma therapist for her future mental health. Honestly, I think therapists are a wildly under-utilized, much needed resource in our world.

[@onurkneezb]

Story 3 28:43 OP has it right here, best he can hope for is that she never cheated in the past, which could be the case, but in this story's example, she didn't want to lose her comfortable life. Lets see what the update brings. edit: If the wife was truly honest, she's a keeper, best of luck to OP.

[@matteodanelli8499]

I don't know, the wife kinda sus 'cause she "recently" is ok with stay with OP...when she was "weaker" she had a bag prepared ,she could have cheated too i would have not trust her so easily 'cause she kept it hidden for years to me ,let someone else belittle me, regrets to stay with me and had thought for some time to leave me for the ex... I would have not trust so easyily

[@DrewLSsix]

@@matteodanelli8499 she didn't have a bag prepared though.... and how is it hidden? If you have never had any doubts whatsoever about a relationship then you are either lying psychotic or some sort of literal angel. If you have ever thought about ending a relationship because of some issues then decided to stick it out you are a hypocrite, the only thing she did wrong was use this bit of history to entertain a friend. That is degrading and disrespectful to op.

[@matteodanelli8499]

@@DrewLSsix she said she had prepared a bag, surely there can be some type of doubt but this big and heavy with the ex ? No never and most importantly i'm not at the same stage as her , but i am sure i would never so many doubts that i think about leaving/using my current partner while thinking if he is plan A or plan B while valuating return to the ex , this is not normal behavior she is so sus i would never trust her again, basically i would be plan b at this point , she isn't in live with the person but with the idea

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

​@DrewLSsix if you've never been in a relationship where you're not thinking about leaving them here and there, you've lived a sad life. You're delusional if you think everyone in every relationship thinks about leaving their partner.

[@lindaisyoutubing]

I agree that it was disrespectful and embarrassing for op that the wife told her friend what she did. She doesn’t care that her friends will not respect her husband, or will always think that he was second choice and not good enough? I wish op had addressed this.

[@nikkidimick947]

No one owes anything to an ex. No explanations, nothing.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Sleeping with the one person your ex had a problem with can always have an iffy look to it. But honestly with how controlling that guy is, he would've said something about anyone. This just made it easier because he could come up with a reason for it. Dude's not alright, and OP needs to stay the hell away from him.

[@RagingMoon1987]

Story 1: Tell him to eff himself and block him.

[@luvondarox]

Sounds like the "Beaux" in S1 thrives on OP constantly crawling back to him after he treats her horribly. Like a puppy that doesn't understand why the human keeps kicking it and that, "truly, it must be love?"

[@Reality_TV]

Story#1: OP needs therapy! Period! She is worried about what a guy who dumped her thinks! Nope! She needs help to get herself together and stop accepting scraps.

[@AndyyWithAY]

If someone begs you to move across the country for them the bare minimum is for them to pay everything. I don't understand why OP is acting like him giving her money is something to give the ex credit for. Bare minimum.

[@Donutlove4ever]

Story 1, OP you are in a narcissistic abusive relationship. All this guy does is gaslight this poor girl while he chases other women. And she feeds into it, i hope she gets therapy as to break free of the narcissistic abuse

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1, before the update: Nah. Dude sounds too immature and insecure to be around. It feels like he’s only interested in a relationship with OP is when she’s moving on. Like Mark said, it’s like he’s playing with OP’s feelings. Him calling OP a terrible person who had no idea relationships work is all projection. Story 1 Update: Wow. His head is sooo far up his butt that he’s bragging to other people that he’s been harassing and saying nasty texts to OP. Wow. Just wow. Hopefully the ones he’s bragging to aren’t like him and are upset at him for what he’s doing. He’s even making a rap song? Dude really needs to grow up and get over it. It’s clear he hasn’t been over the relationship. That or he’s upset he can’t abuse OP anymore

[@tallyp.7643]

Holy crap--I have terrible self-esteem issues, and I am in awe of OP in story 1 going through hoops to please someone who will never be pleased. He's childish and keeping her on the back burner when his little fantasy girls don't pan out. Heavens, I'm running out of expletives to display the frustration I feel towards her right now. Sheesh! Get away from this manipulative tool. Next time he unblocks you to "honey-baby-sweetie" you or harangue you some more, block him right away. Or just go ahead and preemptively block him so he can't play his mind games without showing others his manipulative hand.

[@kitarrah1422]

Story 1: He sounds like a narcissist. There is manipulative behavior, emotional and psychological abuse, blaming her for everything, toxic texts, lovebombing, etc. He keeps trying to reel her back in. She needs to block him on everything and stay away from him.

[@AuroraAbendrot-zq4ry]

Everytime someone tells you, you would not find someone better, or someone who would love you like the person would Leave immediately

[@macylouwho1187]

This is a tough one (story three). There is usually some lingering what ifs when you end passionate relationships with former partners-I think most people have that to some degree. I myself have one of those, usually people do have a former relationship that mattered a lot to them. It can be hard to simply stop loving someone if you really did love them. But the difference is that you can know they aren’t right for you whatsoever and still harbor a bit of feeling for them long after the relationship is gone. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t also love your current partner. The heart has infinite room for loving so many people in life, it happens whether you mean for it to or not. Bonds happen-with family, friends, your kids, lovers etc. Infinite love available for those who have been in our lives in some capacity. I was dating the spoiled son on an attorney when I was in school, the jock type that all of the girls fawned on before they learned what actually made a good partner in life. Basically just “hormones raging” dating 😂. The kind where you do not pick a partner with your head, but with your eyes. He was a player, obviously, and so young to settle down. It was never going to last even without the 50 other girls vying for his attentions. We went to a party and he was acting far too interested in another girl with me there on his arm. I was a bit full of myself at that time too, and not interested in any nonsense towards myself. I wasn’t having it. I was a bit of a pissy little b-tch when crossed so I’m the “don’t get mad, get even” sort. I left while he wasn’t looking and came back on the arm of another man, laughing and acting like I was having the best time. My boyfriend flipped out, there was a scuffle between the guys, etc. I dumped him. Suddenly I was SO important 😂, funny how that works huh? Shortly thereafter I got serious with my then new boyfriend (now my husband) and we’ve been together ever since. He was the “stable” one. But it’s not a bad thing like described in this post. It’s a very good thing. He WAS marriage material. The other man may have been exciting or cute or whatever but he absolutely sucked as a boyfriend! My husband is a million other BETTER things than that. There is nothing superficial about him. He has all of the “substance” that the other man lacked in every way. I have NEVER regretted this decision. But I do look back fondly on some of the moments that I had with the other guy before I figured out that he wasn’t the kind to focus a future on. This isn’t a bad thing-everyone has fond memories mixed with the bad ones of former partners. Although I do think OP’s girlfriend really sounds like she gave the other guy way too much credit over her current husband. That she was still thinking more about him than her husband years later is a big red flag and a problem. It sounds like she never developed the common sense to realize that the other guy wasn’t all that he was cracked up to be. And to give her own husband all of the love and credit that he deserves for being the good partner that he is. She is taking him for granted. I never do that with my awesome husband. And I would never put a few fond memories of my ex over him and his presence in my life in a million years. He deserves so much better than that. He is infinitely the better man and that’s true to this day. The other guy never straightened up his act and he’s still a cheater to this day. And a terrible father. My husband was a great father once past the baby stage (he hated those diapers 😂). I consider that guy the biggest bullet dodged in my life. I’m glad that I had the sense to see that so young and get away early.

[@alleycatalog]

Girl, you don't owe your jealous ex any explanation. If you aren't good enough for him don't let him string you along. He is prioritizing other women he barely knows. When they say nasty shit, believe them.

[@catsncrows]

Story 1 guy has severe control issues and is manipulative as heck. I also think he's one of those who sees partners are property and not a true human being. Last story "ooooh! Okay insecure Ingrid! Let's go shopping and you can buy me whole bunches of new clothes!"

[@authordivine10]

Story 1: I will never understand how people spiral so hard for something like a relationship. Especially when people are assholes to them. Like why the heck would you still “love” a person like that.

[@Alfy1980]

Story 1. OP was in no way obligated to tell the douchebag ex that she had hooked up with someone after they broke up. And I felt so sorry for all the guilt he dropped on her, and for her to actually believe it. Hope OP is doing better now.

[@ailinfergan]

Stop being a doormat, op. Eff that guy. And find someone who loves you.

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 NTA Op Ex is so toxic and really need to move on from him and it's not her fault no contact with the man baby.

[@DakshaiRanger]

Anytime someone who dumped you starts behaving like you dumped them the instant they feel like they can't make the rules about how you engage with them anymore, thats a massive fucking red flag.