My Covert Narcissist Mom Died and THIS Happened

A vlog about gaining confidence through discomfort & healing after a narcissist. #narcissist
My Book "Unconditional Self-Love" is available world wide on Amazon
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Natasha Hynes, from Montreal, Canada, bought a Dodge Sprinter van in 2021 with the dream of waking up in the mountains of the West Coast. After downsizing her life to move out of a toxic living situation and into a van with her 3 cats, Natasha crossed the country overcoming many obstacles along the way.
Over the following four months she would cross the country two more times, once on her way to document a historic moment in Canada, and another after being abandoned without a vehicle by her then co-traveler on the wrong side of the county.
While facing many life-threatening scenarios along the way, she made her way back to her van on the west-coast. Her vlog, Quest Out West, chronicles the good and bad of van life, travel, and life struggles without the glamorous bias you see on social media, with the ultimate goal of inspiring you to face your fears, transcend limitations, and go after the life you really want.

[@debbiegonzalez6272]

My mom always wanted me to live with her. I felt I didn't had the right to be in a love relationship. I have four sisters that made their own life. I know now she didn't want me to have a life of my own. My mom is no longer around she passed away from congested heart failure. However,I ended up back home to take care of her. I have a brother I live with who is also narcissistic. I still live in a household where I was abused all my life. I am now in the process of moving in my own place with my fiance. Thanks for this video.

[@qasimshah9009]

Dear Debbie this is life I also live with my Overt Narristic and Sadistic Father and Brother , and also with my covert Narristic Mother who unnecessarily favour my brother because he is elder and destroys my career by not letting me to make decisions of my life. Unfortunately, after seeing many videos I found that she is 50 percent covert religious narrative that uses religion to support her negative agenda to dominate me. Narristic person are worldwide they have many phrases to gaslight you, they are PHds in Blame gaming and smear Champaign. They are master in doing deceptions and knows when to not talk because they weak, not because they accept their mistakes, kind and correct it. It all power game

[@debbiegonzalez6272]

Hello Gasimshah all my life my narcissistic brother was favored over me. My mother never believed that he was doing things to blame me. He could never do wrong. My mom also favored my other brother. My narcissistic brother would always pick a fight with me or argument. Always name calling me and my mom would sometimes defend me. But when it came to telling her the things my narcissistic brother did she not believe me. So I know it's a battle. I know that he is a classic narcissist. He needs to be the center of attention and be admired by my mother. She is no longer around for him to feed his narcissistic ways to my mom. She was his victim too. He would constantly gaslight her and blame her for things he did or me. I feel he hated me all my life and my mom disliked me. It's been pretty much what I have been going through since my teens. Thanks...

[@Kkim68]

I wish you all the best xx

[@SB-mm9zh]

You are not alone. We know you are not incorrect - believe me! Those of us who have been (and perhaps are still in the same position with their mother) can fully sympathise. It's horrible when others simply just can't see (or never got the chance to see) what you had to endure. It's so upsetting and isolating. God bless.

[@charlenehall3525]

When you realize what you went through, you begin to heal and see it for what it is, then you become the Victor instead of the victim. ❤🕊...

[@dayinthelifeofmycat]

Sounds like you are suffering from Complex PTSD.

[@Thatpersonanon]

“Behind closed doors, that’s not who she was.”

[@christinelamb1167]

Wow, thank you so much for everything you shared! This is the 1st video I've watched on your channel. It happened to come up in my YT feed, and I clicked on it because it is a subject close to my own heart. Even though the details of your story are different than mine, I see my experience so clearly in what you shared about your mother. I could literally go on and on forever with stories about the insane, abusive things my mother said and did to me my entire life, up until I finally went complete no contact 4 years ago. At the age of 60, I am finally cleaning up the wreckage of my life. About 6 years ago, I learned about what narcissistic abuse is, and the puzzle pieces of the confusion and desperation I had felt my entire life finally fit together. I had a name for what happened to me, and it's called narcissistic abuse! After a lifetime of therapists and psychiatrists pathologizing my coping mechanisms (the ways my mind learned to survive), I now know that there's NOTHING wrong with my mind, it was just doing it's job to protect me. Now that I know I'm not the crazy one, I can begin to grieve what I lost as a result of the traumatic injury to my brain and psyche. I can begin to radically accept and love and have compassion for that little girl who didn't deserve what she got. I am beginning to heal now! Natasha, I wish you love and healing, and joy in discovering the beautiful, worthy person you are!

[@cmccafferty8280]

We must have the same mom! This is my house and everything in it is mine. No. I won’t give you drawer space. Go home. Always the scapegoat while brother is the golden child. Never any affection or encouragement when I did something good. Tightwad. Everything you said was my story. I moved back home to take care of her because no one else will. She’s 91 with dementia. Heavily drugged or I wouldn’t be able to stand her. I feel guilty sometimes. You’re not supposed to feel this way about your parent, but i too will be relieved when she’s gone. No more BS and drama. Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, I did stay to the end.

[@johanetremblay2492]

I understand how you felt when your mother passed away, I felt relieved when people that hurt me passed away also 🤗👍

[@leemears1195]

My heart goes out to you. ❤. My relationship with my mother was not good. I never felt we bonded. She was jealous of me & used me as a maid & babysitter. She’s gone now. 😔

[@EricNorthman-h2f]

That's the story of my life..

[@autumn6772]

So incredibly sorry. Do not let anyone tell you differently. My dad was a narcissist and passed away in January. I am 58. I feel free finally. Trying to visit my mom with a narcissist dad was impossible. I feel guilty but I know no one understands my relationship with my dad.

[@TraciDoering-hw8hu]

I went no contact with my mother at 22. She died about four years ago at the beginning of Covid. I didn’t know what a narc was until after she died four months later, while I was being trapped by another narc I worked on myself after I went no contact, and I was freer immediately and morsel with passing time while working on my mental health and my life. I always wondered when my mom died if I would fall apart and it would dig up something for me. It didn’t I was already completely dead to her I shed maybe 10 tears total and those tears were for me. I felt good that she was gone and his time passed since she died. I just think about it briefly periodically it doesn’t take much thought and I’m amazed at how it just kind of released something in me. It was a blessing it was like finally she’s not on this earth you know I it was finally Completely off me. But I did free myself from her through the years. But if anybody reading this wonders if they’ve already gone, no contact and severed themselves from their narc parent no they’re dying. Won’t dig up anything for you it’ll give an extra level of freedom and healing to your life naturally automatically too.

[@donnakelley1202]

I hear you. My mother had an abnormal relationship with her mother. She couldn't differentiate from her mother. And she didn't want me to be a separate person from her. She pretended to be sick and too fragile to take care of herself so I would feel shame and guilt for wanting an independent life. She gave my family permission to treat me like a slave, even when I was a child. I was a scapegoat. My role in life was to fix everything for them. I was a fool. I did everything their way. I didn't get a car until I was 36. If I don't have a car, I can't leave them. Right? My father was just like yours. He had his own separate life. My job was to take care of mom so dad could have his "friends". When I had a job I had to give it up to take mom to all of her doctor appointments. I told dad he needed to help Mom so I could keep my job. He said his job was to spend time with his friends. Then he got in his car and drove away. I told my mother she needed to talk to Dad and Let him know what his responsibility to her and to me was. She refused flat out. She wasn't going to rock the boat for my sake. My job wasn't important. My future didn't matter. My financial needs did not matter. My health didn't matter. I existed only to make life easy for them. I was supposed to shut up, ask for nothing. Be helpful. Be on call 24/7. For twenty plus years I took care of my mother with no help from anyone else in the family. I was a total door mat. I needed a major surgery and my mother said ... "Who's going to do the work around here? It will take months for you to recover.". They didn't care if I died...but who is going to do the house work? As a person I meant nothing to them. I was an unpaid servant. When my mother died I inherited my useless father to take care of. I was broke. I had never been paid for my work at home. When I think of how much they would have spent on in-home elder care just for mom, I realized how much I saved them. Probably a hundred thousand dollars over the twenty years I stayed as their personal servant. I did work at part time jobs but spent most of my income on health care insurance. Every time I saved enough for a down payment on a decent car my mother would come whining to me how they needed money or they would loose their house and everything. So my money went into her pocket. And then I saw Dad give an envelope full of hundred bills to my brother thousands and thousands of dollars,to help him get a good start in life.. Mom's telling me they are on the edge of bankruptcy and I give up thousatof dollars to help them save their house .... And its all a lie so they could give their Golden Child the money I gave them ... When I needed to buy a car, and go to college. Like you..they make it so I could not leave. I couldn't get an operation I really needed. I couldn't get an apartment. I couldn't have friends over for dinner. When I wanted to invite a nice young man to dinner, she said he was low class because his parents were divorced, and he would not be allowed in her house. I was in a cult. If I ran away I would be on the street. Litterly on the street. Without a cent for my needs. Narcissists are totally toxic. They crush your life. They distroy everything that you work for. They suck you dry. They drain your income, and leave you nothing. You need to get away, but they make sure you can't. And they smirk at your pain...that they caused. They really enjoyed seeing me in pain. What do you do? They won't change. They get worse as they age. My father lived into his late 90s. He promised me a secure future if stayed and took care of him. But he left almost everything to my brother. All I can say...if you can get away...do it. I feel your pain girl. I understand. I've been there.

[@QuestOutWest]

That is an absolutely infuriating story. Very relatable too. I would hug you if you were here.

[@veroniquesoret-walker488]

Such manipulation and control..... It is exactly like being in a cult. They isolate you so that you have no one else to run too when you finally make sense of things and décide your only way to keep your sanity is to escape... I would encourage you to go to HG Tudor for insights on this pathology and in depth understanding of the various beheaviours they display and manipulation tactics uses to assert control....

[@kimberlychilstrom6888]

My narc mom.died 6 years ago april 11th..and its seems callus maybe..but i didnt shed a tear when she died..i felt free for first time in decades .like ..i was let out of a invisable prison ..😫

[@LisaMoss2022]

Natasha you are helping people. No need to justify to anyone. I get it though. A covert narc mother will make you feel like you need to justify your every choice. ❤

[@autobotdiva9268]

sent no contact text and her reply was OKAY. That was it. DELETE

[@Thatpersonanon]

I appreciate your strength during her funeral.

[@carrino15]

Its interesting that the spider made you have enough. Spiders are a symbol of engulfing scheaming controling mother figure.

[@QuestOutWest]

No way! That's very synchronistic. I love it. Thanks for sharing that.

[@carrino15]

You're video was so validating to listen to. The opposite emotions that we victims could have. All the unfair treatment, the being left out of the will, omg. My mother threatened to leave me out of her will to scare me into living and sacrifice myself for her but it would have never been enough. I am certain there is no will for me and my brother the golden child would get everything. My mom made me pay rent for living home during my high school years and stole my dad's child payments when I did not live with her. She then payed my brother's hair dresser private education... everyone reading this and having experience with narc know how unfair treatment feels...it's emotional traumatizing.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

​@QuestOutWest spiders are the spirit embodiment of narcissists, they trap victims in a beautiful glistening Web of deceit, it looks easy to break but alas once entrapped few break free from their sticky lure... they cosily wrap their silk around the victim, until the victim realises its trapped, smothered... then the vampire qualities emerge to sink in their teeth and suck the life-force from the victim, who remains a shell of its former self encased in silk as a shrine to the hardworking, "harmless" spider 🎯

[@suzettewalsh2854]

I will repeat once again, girl I know you’re living with your father because probably you have to, but the only way to heal is to totally get away from all these people, including everybody who is connected to them because they make you feel like you are crazy! And it is literally like being in a cult

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Thank you for posting this. This is what I've been going through. I thought I was going insane, until I realized that my mother is also a narcissist. All my 51 years of life.... I am also unpacking all the things I was confused by, from childhood to now, that was actually the insane actions of an incredibly selfish parent. It's insanity, and no one understands or believes me, except my husband, who has experienced the aftermath of my finding out, and her lashing out at me, my husband, and my mother's own grandkids..... vicious, demonic. I am no-contact since my dad died January 27, 2024.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

You are so much more than a medium. I hear you and relate to so much of your experiences. Please read what Deuteronomy says about mediums and the Occult... i used to be in new age, crystals and tarot when i was stuck in narc abuse, i saw spirit and knew things, its a deception from the enemy because lucifer is terrified of you working in Authority for Justice & Morality, for Righteousness. Please from one survivor to another please I hope you see this comment, new sub. Once you know the Truth, the Truth will set you free and lead you into prophetic insight. Read Deuteronomy and Revelation 21 (or maybe 22??) My trauma gets me forgetting sometimes. Yes, i agree that guy would have been a great date - nothing like a brother... God has a plan and purpose for your life, you are worthy, you are enough, you are not alone ❤️🙏🏻

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

🤣 my sister lived for free in my house, literally I paid the mortgage for her to live there, which I still don't regret - however she moved her furniture AND dishwasher in... when she moved out she took great pains to sell the dishwasher for far less than it was worth rather than leave it in my house where I may have benefitted from it 😢😂 like you, I only joined the dots years after escaping, and yes I too had proof she wanted to destroy me whilst acting the public martyr. Its so sad they will never know true joy. Sending you a big virtual hug 🥰🙏🏻🕊

[@karenlewkowitz5858]

Live free, dear Natasha. Cut the ties and fly

[@Kkim68]

I'm convinced my mother hates me cause I remind her of my father

[@tamiwilliams5903]

I have a mother like you had. Different situation but same person. Thank you for expressing your story. It does help people like me, who have experienced very similar things, though even more complicated , same person. Wow. It took me along time to forgive myself for falling into her traps. Things you have said have helped validate me, and my experiences. Thank you.

[@suzettewalsh2854]

Nobody will ever understand when you say this my mother was narcissistic and although you love them, it’s a love-hate relationship because they try and sabotage you and every step she died when I was 27 and I probably would’ve lived with her for the rest of my life and wouldn’t have been able to get away mentally from her! Her dying allowed me to live, which is a very hard thing to say! the person who is supposed to love you the most gaslighting you being nice and mean gives you cognitive dissonance, and it takes you years to come out of the fog! And now I’m going through this again, because I married a narcissist I was with him for 25 years so I only had eight years free adult life. And even in those eight years I was dating somebody narcissistic, so really my whole life these people have been around me. Girl maybe you should form a support group because you’re not the only one out there! I have three children and I just wanted to do it opposite and let them know how much I love them, but now even my children have issues because their father has this in him! at the end I truly thought he was demonic. I’ve only been free of this situation since the end of August and just got my divorce degree in the end of January.! no interest in dating because I don’t even trust my judgment anymore. There’s gonna be so much healing to do and I’m 60 and I don’t know how much life I haven’t had of me.! You look pretty young just do the healing so you could have a normal life and you don’t repeat this pattern with a man or anybody else because I’ve seen this friends too! they come in and you feel like you want to help them and then at a certain point they start putting you down when you see that just run

[@rodie4587]

I grew up surrounded by and abused by narcs. I can totally understand what you have been through and still going through. Dad was a malignant narc, mom was a neglectful narc (Dr Romeny has a video on the neglectful narc). I saw a video a little while ago that said C-ptsd and autism symptoms are very much alike. It's a new theory and not proven yet but very interesting. Difference being you're born with autism and given C-ptsd but the symptoms and treatment are similar. I'm 64 and still working on healing from the bs. It's true that you attract the dysfunction that you were raised in which is heartbreaking. Good news is you are aware of this dynamic and can protect yourself from now on.

[@kittyblue8310]

You’ve done an excellent job, unraveling their toxic behaviors…. I am the scapegoat in my family & they also were passive aggressive In the way that they hurt me … it was all in what they didn’t do, just like you said…. That part is insidious and you got it…. I can see that your intuition is lovingly trying to help you…… Keep striving for healing it’s going to come… Also Neurographic art…. It’s amazing how it helps…

[@suzettewalsh2854]

One more point I wanna make this is more than just a mental disorder. These are principalities that we are fighting against and demonic spirits. Why would a mother ever want to not have their daughter succeeded? My mother did the same exact thing.! These people are more of a boy than a presence, but they do so much damage. They never really there for you, but they will put stumbling blocks under your feet at every point.! I always felt responsible for my mother just the way you did and would’ve never left had not die, so what a blessing that she did that’s a horrible thing to say or feel about your own mother! If you don’t get away from these people, they continue to do what they’re doing even if it’s unannounced to them we don’t even need to put a label on it. It’s pure evil and it’s toxic. That’s all you need to know yet away from them all so that you could start to heal and live your purpose.! I laid heavily on God, and had not gotten away from my husband. He could’ve literally killed me. This is no joke.

[@suzettewalsh2854]

Girl, you got me so riled up as I’m listening to you fuck what these people see you you gotta see it in yourself that’s it! I know it’s very hard when you’ve been through abuse, because it’s almost like you’re invisible, but you deserve the best of the best God put you here for purpose. We are all diamonds, but mud has been thrown on us.! use this to make yourself the best 4.0 version of yourself! As I’m listening to you, you’re very intelligent and you’re very insightful and you’re attractive. There’s no reason why you can’t have romantic relationship and have children and have your own dreams. Come true what is there for everybody else is also there for you don’t forget that.

[@QuestOutWest]

Im glad you got away. 💕

[@mitzilickliter3879]

Wow! I can relate to so much of what you said. Especially about Mom never really wanted me to be happy. ...my mom passed last year August 6th last year. She had a beautiful funeral but the weird thing I didn't even cry! I cried at one of my friends husband funeral more than at my own mothers funeral. Especially when they started singing amazing grace. I was glad that she wasn't suffering any more...she had a long illness, but I didn't cry...so weird...thanks for this video...

[@christinelamb1167]

It's not weird at all, it makes sense that you didn't cry.

[@purpleturtle7477]

You most likely grieved the loss of your mother years ago; you already cried for the loss,. You had lost your mother long before her actual physical death. Have a beautiful day.

[@bettyhappschatt3467]

This is not weird at all. I am 61 and started to say goodbye to my mother when I was 22. She died two months ago and now I see the things she did when I was not there. She favored one half sister at a time, smearing the other. She would switch between them. I do not think she was a narcissist, rather a borderline. The early goodbyes are a common feature. take care of yourself, love yourself.

[@Shaun.is.typing]

“She would just tell me to give up on myself. And she would tell me in a way that I thought she was helping me” RELATABLE!!! 😩

[@Rdfyyh]

I feel the same. My mother never told me that I was incapable, but she made me feel this way, by the way she treated me, being indifferent, or aggressive. She just shows you that you don't really matter. Everytime I trying something, I doubt myself a lot. I'm an overachiever, and at the same time so lost. I knew something was wrong until I understood recently that my mother raised me this way. Now, I'm trying very hard to take action no matter what my thoughts are telling me. I just do because I realize over and over that I'm good enough, my work is good, I take care of myself enough. I do more than most people, I needed to arrive at this point to realize my value. Now I feel like no one in this world can tell me who I should be or what I should. It's the biggest revenge I have. Let these people behind, do the best you can, that's the only solution.

[@QuestOutWest]

👍💯💕🫂

[@theresefloyd1316]

Bless you Natasha. Most of us get you! Proud of you for your honesty and your willingness to assess it all and choose to heal. Your going to help so many. Much love and light ❤️

[@SheTookTheLongWayHome]

In all honesty, there have been times I have given serious thought to doing a video like this as a way to exorcise some of the lingering resentment I harbor toward my sibling. She was utterly useless during the years I took care of my dad, his home, and his affairs the last 10 year of his life as his diseases progressed. She made no sacrifices, suffered no consequences, and got to carry on with her life unscathed while I am still paying the price for all the years I spent in that caregiving journey. I think the thing that feels so helpful about it is that people like us feel so invisible, that no one really understands (or sometimes believes) what they don't see for themselves. In this way, it is a way to get our story out once and for all, rather than bits and pieces that don't necessarily tell the whole thing. Being seen, heard, and validated is so cathartic and healing. I hope getting this out really helps you. It can be so hard to move past all the pain, hurt, and harm parents like this do, but you deserve that.

[@paisleyjane14]

Yes yes and yes. Couldn’t agree more ❤❤❤

[@elizabethash4720]

I had the experience from my mother of being held back from growing into an adult and then being the wise and sensible adult to advise her what to do when she was insecure. As you said, in the moment you don't even see what is going on, I want to say to you that you do matter, God created you and he loves you.I am thankful that you talk about your story as it helps me and it will help many others. Thankyou, God bless Your cat looks gorgeous, behind you. 😊

[@pattyrooney1323]

I began to heal when my mother died. It was freeing.

[@iReturnToFreedom]

Only part way through watching. Just wanted to say, good for you for seeing this and breaking free. You’ve done a lot of unpacking and reprogramming. ❤❤❤ Their actions can be subtle. But it adds up over time. Especially since this was done to you as a child.

[@wendyquinn7749]

My narcissist mother died yesterday. Two things are running through my mind. Ding dong the witch is dead and, from some old movie my late dad quoted when his mother died - I am an orphan, I am an orphan. No sadness, no feelings, just.... nothing. 13 years of no contact. You can't miss what you never had. It's tragic.

[@QuestOutWest]

👏👏👏🫂💕

[@wendyquinn7749]

@@QuestOutWest ❤ you have my heart.

[@wendyquinn7749]

P.S. the movie was Peter Sellers and and Terry Thomas as actors - move Tom Thumb.

[@caroloum5323]

That was from the heart and if getting it out helped you then it was worth it. Hang in there and I am hoping things will change for you now. You deserve it. A lot of people will know now which is good. ❤

[@sunnydays2309]

I was the target always the escape goat and blamed for everything by my parents. they even controlled my relatives and the relationships I could have had but they destroyed. you cant reason with theses type of people they are delusional and manipulative. they will always blame you and never be accountable for their actions. always play the victim never saying sorry and will lie lie and lie some more. they love getting info to use against you and destroy any relationships you have if possible to isolate, control and bring you down. true evil.

[@marthaoliver1099]

Thanks for sharing & don’t dwell on her ...... get out & enjoy ur life . ❤

[@laraoneal7284]

Covert narcissists convey many messages without verbally saying it. They convey messages to us IMPLICITLY not Explicitly. We being so vigilant at perceiving these things & walking on EGGSHELLS nonstop we pick up on implicit communication. One therapist here on YT Dr Sage calls it EGGSHELL PARENTS.

[@bereal6590]

My mother is the queen of 'the look' and contempt and using withdrawal and silence as a way to drive me crazy.

[@meloneymoore8856]

My narcissistic parents and siblings never allowed me to have and create my own life for my own highest good and happiness😇😇😇-Xclusyph Icon

[@alkuerbis5712]

Well, I must say I’m sorry for your loss on your pet. I have lost many over the years. It’s really sad see them go really heartbreaking as for a family member I have lost a few over the years as for narcissist know I’ve had a boat both different worlds different people and it’s really hard to get through that. Anyways, I feel loss for your family member, but maybe it’s a blessing in itself and eventually you’ll come to terms with things and you’ll be able to move on all I can see is try to move on in your mind and your soul and don’t keep holding onto the past recognize the past as a blessing for what you have learned just scarred stuff that is not important, but anyways all the best

[@suzettewalsh2854]

People making the excuses are all enabler and even I myself at one point within an enabler and probably you have been an enabler. This is all shit that we have to work on because they leave nothing but destruction all around them.! Get Ross Rosenberg’s book the magnet syndrome! And the sad part is even with knowing all this you have to work on loving yourself because you’re gonna attract the same thing over and over unless you work on yourself so don’t worry about what they did just worry about what you were gonna do to heal yourself! and this way self love is your savior

[@MrBrianbusch]

For answers you might have to look back generationally.

[@bereal6590]

That's true. My mother's father was a nutcase, my father's father was as well. All the kids ended up with some form of mental health issues from mild to severe.

[@joleighva]

The Universe brought me to your video today. I was also born a Spiritual Medium and empathic person. Part of our journey is learning where our Energies end and others begin and guarding our boundaries. It is really difficult to do with mostly ‘normal’ parents. It isn’t surprising you’ve had such difficulty doing it when raised by Narcissists who don’t recognize boundaries. They’re also Energy vampires and can siphon your Energy until you’re literally unable to function. The good news is that she can’t do that anymore. The bad news is that you have to grieve both the Mother you had, but also the Mother you should have had and didn’t. Processing all the ways she hurt you IS grieving. I am awed by what you chose to take on in this one lifetime! So much! My Soul sees your Soul and the Divine work you are doing. It’s always harder once we get here than we planned! Please know you’re not alone. I see you. All the Souls who have bonds of Unconditional Love with you are helping you from Home. Sending you huge hugs and comforting Energy! You can do this!

[@Patricia-on9qd]

You r not alone. ❤

[@apollo1493]

I haven’t finished the video (about 12 minutes in), but I can’t help but think of something your mother kept saying during the secretly recorded conversation, which is that the only thing resembling a reason she gave for not divorcing her shitty husband because she would monetarily benefit IF he died first. Now she’s dead less than three years later, her shitty husband is still alive, and he’ll probably get the pension she stayed with him for. Imo everyone watching should learn a lesson from that

[@QuestOutWest]

Yup. 👍💯

[@Marley369-r4t]

You are a very, very brave woman! I’m so sorry you went through this 😔 I’m sure it’s been a very rough road for you. You have been through so much and people that have never had narcissistic abusive parents just don’t understand and that’s OK. I’m so happy they never had abusive parents. Not any child should ever have to go through this but we do. You telling your story not only heals you, but helps others stay strong and understand how they can improve themselves. Much love! ❤🩷🧡💛💚💜

[@muma6559]

my mum was very good at playing the victim too! And I assumed she was. But I think she was both, perpetrator and victim if that makes sense. Very complex. I also felt bad for her for the longest time. I believe she knew that and played on it.

[@bereal6590]

This is so true and what kept me stuck. The thing is she does not hold that same empathy for me, never did and never will. Instead she turned me into someone who attracted toxic and blamed myself. My mother's martyrdom cannot be surpassed.

[@bereal6590]

SO relatable! I could say so much on this. My father the main issue my mother I didn't realise was my main problem! The manipulation is SO subtle I never saw it. What was more overtime was her neglect, her envy, her lack of empathy for me.

[@libertycan6959]

🙏. Bless you in the journey. I used to live in Kitsap County and Tacoma. Beautiful areas.

[@muma6559]

yeah, both, I can relate, both infantilized and parentified

[@californiarose6336]

Omg I lived that life. I didn’t know how to vocalize my feelings. My abuse started at age 6. My mom did that too. Manipulated me back home to control me. Thank goodness my girlfriend had a room for rent. I was 40 years old then. I am 67 years old and still I don’t feel I’m good enough. You need to write a book

[@alaynjones2209]

My mom is like this and my whole family they don’t think what they do is ever wrong. controlling me and She lives two lives! She puts on this charm when she goes out and behind closed doors it is like a flip of a switch. Narcissism is quiet and deadly. When we open a conversation it is never a conversation she dismisses my reality . She does it over and over and over again. Narcissism is literally the brain growing into its conditioning and it is pretty close to impossible to get them to see how they treated you. They will not believe it and they will think that you are attacking them. and my family does this same thing as well. They think oh it’s your mom you need to do these things because we are a family. No just because we are family does not give anyone a pass to mistreat anyone. She tries to control my money and where it goes and where it comes from. It is a nightmare!

[@katherineraquelle1930]

I feel for you. I’m 29 and my experiences of narcs all my life 😊 I lived two decades of this… the stuff I told you would be Netflix documentary worthy. 😊 I made it as the first Asian American young lady to be on a billboard in Times Square in 2023. My narc mom did a number on me… and also this girl named Caroline. I then realized my dad was a enabler… they put me in a mental psych hospital 🏥 by them as the crazy one.. 😊

[@QuestOutWest]

😲 Im sorry you had to go thru that.

[@kostapapa1989]

That is the ultimate form gaslighting ! The sick put the healthy in a psych ward. And the worst of it all the doctors and nurses have no clue and become their flying monkeys and are manipulated by them. It is scary !

[@tmking7483]

Forgiveness is between you and God We were ' Susan Boiled' Susan Boyle _what a voice.

[@Enlight-the-burbs]

Thanks for sharing your story .. I need to start telling my stories .. my mother had my brothers in on the sabotage of my love life .. peppered with a mix of holding me in a relationship because he owed her money and wicker hexes .. if you want to talk about your “mediumship” there is something I think you might need to know .. I heard you completely.

[@lottieallenisworthytv6394]

You have beautiful!! hair.👱‍♀You mention when your Mother died you felt relieved... I felt the same when my Mom died but she's not the NARC. it is my SISTER she used my Mother as A crouch, to attack me emotional sending long text messages fowl languages, I started deleting them it was too much on my mental. My mother had a stroke in 2010. in care until she passed April 2023. I live in VA since 16 years old. there"s a back story to that. My home is Florida where my Family resides today. Then I married a Narcissist Husband. 2020 Narcissist awareness started on the rise. Im HEALING Now knowing I'v experienced the gaslighting ect. using the tools from training. For the most part I'm relying on my Heavenly Father the CREATOR, he will handle things . My job is continue to HEAL!!! and forgive, the forgiveness is for YOURSELF!!!!! not them. The focus is yourself, so you can heal and move on and learn to detect red flags to keep your precious SOUL!!

[@SpaceTrashCrash]

You're a truly wonderful and wise woman. I'm absolutely impressed by you.

[@artofmovingframes]

You are right. I 100 percent believe you. You can always be sure there is one person who believes you

[@ArtMonkey5150]

March 19/2024. 1:09am Pasadena CA. I have found your channel and it totally resonates with my Mom's passing 2years ago. This video is my 1st of your channel I'm starting to watch. Carlos. Pasadena CA. ❤

[@sunnydays2309]

I can completely understand where you are coming from. my mom falls under the covert narc personality type and my dad grandiose narc. this abuse is very real.

[@PrplAngl]

Cathartic 👍

[@paisleyjane14]

Thank you for sharing your story with us ❤❤❤❤. My story is very similar, particularly the living with her part. I took care of her for 3 years until she moved to retirement home. She tossed me aside like dog shit the moment I was no longer useful. She then ghosted me for a few months. Hallelujah! That’s when I figured out what she was. And you’re Canadian just like me. God bless you ❤❤. You have helped me and I am so grateful to you ❤

[@QuestOutWest]

🩷🫂

[@Healingandchoices]

Imagine your Father is sick and his birthday is approaching. Now Imagine wondering if you should do that dreaded birthday card shop or not. The shop of Going card to card and finding someone looking at you since you subconsciously voiced your thoughts.....things like yeah right....really must be nice to feel that way, etc. Then having this odd and sick relief that you didn't have to do that birthday card shop after all.

[@SpaceTrashCrash]

You deserve all Love. As a woman your age with a few friends who also deal with narcissistic abusive parents, I have been invited for their family visits to act as a buffer and for support. I witnessed the extreme narcissistic abuse from mentally ill narcissistic parents exactly as you describe. I saw how everyone else in the families would allow my friends to be targeted. Narcissisists choose one child or friend to be the favorite and the other child is targeted without end, which is an abusive controlling power play. Narcissists love to pit one person against another, especially with family. I know you were targetted, because that's how narcissistic abuse always works. I believe you entirely. You are as amazingly strong and intelligent as my friends who have experienced the same type of treatment. Some victims sink into those cycles of abuse, but some fantastic quality people, like you and my other friends, have become more amazing than most anyone I've known. You show your strength to understand how to rise above, which you have been doing. Trust yourself. Cheers.

[@QuestOutWest]

💕🤗

[@l82theparty4]

SMH 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@tijenhoca6371]

I hear you and relate you. You will be alright…

[@tmking7483]

She ___ They___ do this to self regulate Relationships are transactional _ So _ if change is to happen it has to be together change_ so to change u have to admit to your behavior _ if its too difficult to observe u have hurt the person u love the most _ its too hard to look at_ big hug is the best to expect _ just give your dad a big hug_ forgive for they truly know what they do. But like u said _ we are 🎯 by abusers from other families_ i only forgive those i love _the other abusers i leave for their father satan.

[@QuestOutWest]

I may not have been clear about this. My father abused me my whole life. My father blamed me when multiple men tried to rape me. My father destroyed my self-esteem and told me that I was fat and old since I was a teenager. My father put me in very dangerous situations with perverts on purpose. My father is currently using me to take care of his house and his fish while he's overseas having sex with prostitutes. My father hit and kicked me until I was old enough to fight back. My father tried to get me to sign a contract when I turned 18 giving him the right to 20% of all the money I ever make in my life. When I wouldn't sign it he sabotaged every opportunity for success I had to keep me on a leash........... there is no fu*king way that I would ever hug my father.

[@tmking7483]

I say this all day long_ how can people be so dumb.

[@Shaun.is.typing]

I relate!!! I’m 37 and I’m just waking up to this being my mom as well. My first memory at 2 years old was her throwing me against the wall.. (first of many cases of abuse) Then when I bring it up now or any other abuse she gives me this whole “I was a different person” story She’s always the victim of everything and I feel like it’s my job to fix her broken world. At the moment she’s using my birthday present to get me to drop my boundary of not-showing-up-to-my-home-unannounced. My aunt reached out telling me to reconcile with her…. All I did was start setting boundaries for the first time and now her and the rest of my extended family is treating me like I need to fix something or that I owe her something .. she flat-out told me that I owe my life to her and that Im an extension of her. Thanks for reading that 🙏

[@QuestOutWest]

Stay strong. 💕

[@Shaun.is.typing]

@@QuestOutWest Thank you 🙏

[@johno8562]

It is true. My mother was a narcissist , my siblings i am to a narcissist. Its a cycle & i only attract narcissist.

[@ArtMonkey5150]

LMAO. Narcissistic Amnesia!

[@drammab157]

I so understand not one tear and mine has been gone 3 yrs

[@meloneymoore8856]

My narcissistic family constantly sabotaged my life behind my back at every turn❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon

[@helene1779]

😢Much love❤️and hugs🤗to you Natasha! Take care and stay safe!❤️🙏🏼👍🏼👍🏼✌🏼❤️🐈🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛❤️

[@sunnyadams5842]

When you haven't been through it, you will never know. If you HAVE - You will be so grateful for this video. It is SPOT ON!!

[@LSChestersMom]

My heart is with you. Having grown up in a highly dysfunctional family ( to say the least) with more than one narcissist so I feel for you. Very similar experiences with my mom. It's been a lot of work to heal from.Love your channel, keep going :) Also, Nana was super special and thanks that you shared her with us :) ( Fur mom here).

[@natalie73animals]

This is the dynamic I dealt with for decades until I left without a trace several years ago. My mom passed away about nine years ago. It was complicated grief and a relief at the same time. I was the scapegoat/black sheep. Both of my parents doted on my brother who is many times worse than the very worst of them. It is a relief to have completely disconnected from them and the flying monkeys.

[@briana9567]

Thank you for sharing your story. I felt the same way when my mother passed. I had already grieved the loss years before. You are amazing, strong and beautiful. ❤

[@colin1657]

The best thing you can say to the flying monkeys is this: "There's a sucker born every minute." -P.T Barnum

[@mvbigmagic4048]

😂I should have used that when my mom made her flying monkeys try to hoover me.......

[@colin1657]

@@mvbigmagic4048 Well, you have it just in case. I hope you find or have found peace.

[@Genxmom]

Thank you for posting this. I have wondered what will happen when my mom is gone. I completely understand what you have felt with your mom. I have even wondered if my mom will love me if she gets Alzheimer’s when she is old.

[@ZiggysDiary]

Wow!!!!

[@keeperofdoves]

Thank you for this. My Mom loves me in front of other a few times and dispised me in front of others.

[@NancyBrown1975]

Always believe in and trust in yourself.

[@leeonr]

glad you have a better living space for u and cats

[@lauraslanesvanlifetravels]

Weird...I left a comment here and it's gone, I was gonna check, just to see...hmmm...and it wasn't anything bad...weird.

[@QuestOutWest]

Weird. It wasnt me and I just went to check my "held for review" folder and there's nothing in there.

[@lauraslanesvanlifetravels]

@@QuestOutWest I left my handle on the other msg but I'm gonna leave it here becuz it was gone....blueyedone1313, i put it there again but I wasn't sure if you'd see it...sheesh

[@QuestOutWest]

Thats why it dissappeared. KZbin thought it was spam.

[@EllieM_Travels]

I can relate to you.

[@abbyechevarria5322]

I don’t understand if you have such bad memories of that house, and you’re so unhappy leave you can start your own beautiful memories move and get your own place where you will be happy! you should’ve been gone a long time ago.🤨

[@QuestOutWest]

I was gone. Why dont you do your due diligence before judging someone.

[@patrickhair2808]

I wish that I could just hug you. And I've always had a crush on you. So it's the opposite of what you've been told. God bless you. And thanks for sharing. It brings up things that have happened to me also.

[@QuestOutWest]

💕

[@iaiamare]

I understand and my heart goes out to you ❤

[@DoneGone282]

Thanks!

[@QuestOutWest]

Thank you very much 💕

[@daveallison1888]

Did she leave you the house

[@QuestOutWest]

No. She left me nothing. Until my father dies.

[@daveallison1888]

Well that sucks

[@CleverChimney]

Girl I’m right there with ya. Always thought my Dad was the problem. He passed 2 years ago and nope it’s her. It was her the entire time and now continues to be her. She used him to play the victim to his “bad guy” when he was just responding to the BS that came from her. Thank you for posting this, it’s very validating. ❤️‍🩹 and for all those who say how can you say these things about your own mother, well honey just count your blessings that you were never treated this way by yours. Oh I thought I might be on the spectrum too but I think it’s all C-PTSD. It mimics a lot of behaviors that are on the spectrum, just sayin. ❤️‍🩹

[@suzettewalsh2854]

I say this out of love and I myself have to do it at 60 I need serious help to not repeat this pattern ever again go get professional help and somebody who understands narcissistic abuse not all Therapist even get this! Dr. Romney is great on KZbin, And so many others, you will find them! But even with that professional help is needing I’m currently looking for a therapist that would really get this! My first Therapist when I stopped drinking, which I was self medicating he says if I didn’t self medicate, I could’ve killed myself from being with my mother he said, do you realize your mother is a narcissist and this is when I was around after she died, although I took psychology, I didn’t realize what narcissism really was until the last three years! And even when I was researching this, I thought it referred to my mother and I didn’t even realize that pertain to my husband! he totally he was going to prostitutes and transgender brought STDs home! I would’ve never suspected this and I would say to every person out there get an STD test annually to protect yourself because he literally could’ve killed me! I never thought I would have to use a condom with somebody. I married in the church and took my vows in front of family and everybody else.! They have no remorse! I told him you also spread all this to other prostitutes that are only doing this because they need money so desperately and his response was well. They were there too.😢

[@aqua6613]

It really takes someone who has expeirenced similar to reallt understand the ins and outs of narcisstic abuse and the puppet show that goes along with it. Its all some facade to keep up the appearance for others while the true evil remains uncovered. Its sickening and ive seen it and i wont stand for it either. My cousins mom was like your mom and she had him in a choke hold and made him her husband per se...when she came down with jaw cancer everyone was asking for healing prayers and i asked that shed be removed so that my cousin could enjoy whatever time and life he had left. Now hes having to deal with the junk hoard shes left behind. Sad thing was that he kinda had to go along with the narrative but i know and i love my cousin. When he said all he wanted to do was to get a dozer and just bury all her stuff i knew he had been tired of her and her tirades for a long time. My narc husband passed away and i had mixed feelings because you love them when they love bomb you but then the mask slips off. I left him taking nothing with me because i knew i could rebuild whatever but i couldnt rebuild myself if i continued letting him widdle away at me. I caught the brunt of his flying monkey family who scape goated me...but i wasnt going to be the sacrificial goat...the scape goat gets sent out into the wilderness but it has a chance to survive if you go by the biblical meaning of the scape goat. The whole community places their blame and guilt and shame and sins..and thats what narcs do...they project their own evil and exchange it for the good and the light that is in you and then run around like its theirs while they leave you in shambles. He died of a heart attack 2 years after i left and i felt that relief. He had everyone fooled...i initially left when i found him spooning with his 16 year old niece right after we had had sex and i had gone to take a shower. 38 years old. I had no proof except that red flaf told me i wasnt going to stay married and try and have kids with him. I couldnt call him a molester cause there was no proof except that it looked to me like he was grooming his best friends little girls. I warned that friend and he cussed me out. We didnt talk until i told him about his passing and he told me he was sorry...and i said i wasnt sorry...truth his my hjsband ended up molesting his 7 year old daughter and had a warrant out for his arrest. Narcs always need to silence the truth talkers. I am glad this evil left the world. He kept postponing the appointment with the judge to sign the divorce. He couldnt escape the heavenly judge. I had my moment of glory when i went to go sign him out of the morgue because the marriage license was still valid. Nobody knew he was still married and his family was across the country and his new girlfriend had no authority. I am glad i didnt know about the molestation charges until after i had signed him out. I didnt go in to identify the body...he had given me enough nightmares and i might have done unspeakable things to him for what he had done to the 7 year old. God has His ways of dealing with things and i will always put my faith and trust in His purposes. He guided me through that entire time. ❤

[@QuestOutWest]

My mom also died of a heart attack 2 years after I left. Interesting. Im glad you are free and found peace. Its also pretty nice that you still had authority when he died. A little consolation in the end.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

I didn't realize the origin of the word "scapegoat." Thank you for mentioning that. I'm glad you are free of him. It's best the WORLD is free of him now too.

[@BlissfullyBearFoot]

I was just thinking about you & saw you uploaded. I hope you’re doing well…you deserve the peace. 🫶

[@lauraslanesvanlifetravels]

that happens to me a lot too lol...I'll be like...I wonder how she's doing? Wonder if everything is alright...and BOOM...the video magically appears! lol...weird eh?

[@BlissfullyBearFoot]

@@lauraslanesvanlifetravels it is! The universe is listening! lol