My Coworker Kept A Filthy Sweater In The Office And I Threw It Out To Spite Them r/Relationships

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - This just breaks my heart, that poor kid going through such a loss and dealing with survivor’s guilt, while at home his stepmom is telling him he has to participate in a child’s funeral games. His dad and stepmom failed him majorly and they deserve all the judgement and consequences that are coming for them now, I’m so glad he’s safe, this could have ended so badly… also wow, the dad having a list of demands before he’d be allowed home is just icing on the cake.

[@poohbear4515]

I’m glad someone has their heart out for that poor boy. Unlike his weak, simping father and his cruel step-b-tch mother. I hope when he gets older, and I hope he grows up knowing it wasn’t his fault and everyone still loves him, he will never see, or talk to those two failed excuses. Hell, if they darken his doorstep begging for something, he’ll just say “why don’t you start a funeral for your pathetic lives.” and slam the door on them.

[@groofromtheup5719]

This one was just so messed up. Father and step-mom are horrible people. 1/2 sis is just a self-centered kid. Eta; oops, kid was way worse than self-centered and honestly, joining the army wouldn't have been the worst idea.that is a good way to cut the cords with bad parents.

[@tumbleweed249]

My heart stopped when the step grandmother posted her plea. Literally cried tears of relief that he was okay.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Dude I think the stepmom was doing it on purpose. I think she wanted him gone. Because instead of worrying about his safety they had a whole list of demands before he was allowed to come live with them again. Why does she care so much about her daughter's feelings but not about his feelings if the Stepmom didn't have nefarious intentions? I am very curious as to know what those list of things are they demanded he comply with before living with them again. They are treating like living with them is a privilege he should be honored to have. And I'm sure it was a big wake-up call when he's like nah I'm good not coming back. Good for him I'm glad his step-grandmother is a good person.

[@wmdkitty]

@@WhitneyDahlin I think a lot was left out. If a parent (or step) is laying out those kinds of demands, it's because of something the child did to endanger or harm, say, their stepsister...

[@momochan8920]

Wtf kind of psycho child would be like “I just wanna make them sad :)” Like oh my god??

[@CanonSkyrissian]

my thoughts exactly

[@squirrel670]

What happens when you let them do whatever

[@darkmask5933]

Not defending the little girl, but without proper boundaries this is something young children can enjoy exploring, especially if there are no consequences. They are not psycho or sociopathic, they don't grasp that actions have longterm consequences. Children can find it fascinating, funny even, making someone angry, someone sad, someone scared, because they get to create big reactions in people and not get in trouble. When I was young I used to laugh when people got hurt, my mother even said for me "ouch" was the funniest word in the world. The difference was, my parents always would tell me it wasn't funny and they reinforced it was inappropriate so I learned, also I was like 5 at the time.

[@nonyabiz2013]

Story 1 reminds me if when I worked in a call center, there was this guy who smelled awful and the supervisors would have to send him home to shower every other day. They complained to the manager about how bad he smelled and that it was a regular occurrence of having to send him home. Finally on of the supervisors had the brilliant idea to have the go home and wash conversation in the manager's office before she came in with the door closed, he also closed it when he left, trapping the smell in her office. When she went in her office she was discussed at the smell. She finally agreed if he came back smelling like that then he would be let go.

[@penhxd5970]

I think someone posted this exact story on reddit. It sounds very familiar 🤣

[@zachf748]

The second story, the dad was like *_“You’ve got a lot of things you’ll have to do before we let you come home"._* And OP was just like… *_“Yea, I’m gonna go ahead and pass on all of that. Thanks anyway though”._* Lol

[@angelaa7388]

Oof, when the little girl said she was trying to make OP sad.... little manipulator in the making.

[@poohbear4515]

Like satan, like hell spawn. She’s gonna get so screwed if she continues being doted on by spoiling mommy, and enabled daddy.

[@catherinecox573]

Yeah stepmom is raising a real piece of work

[@CanonSkyrissian]

learning from her psycho ass mom

[@vanzy01]

😈lil psycho

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Which makes no sense since it seems like her grandma is normal just into pilates or yoga. I know those new age guru self help scammers are nuts but come on.

[@FinnishLapphund]

2nd story: I know the post was about OP, but I have to say that I hope Annabel's mother also have other/more sensible children. She seems like a really nice lady, being appalled by her daughter's behaviour, she decided to step in, managed to find OP/her daughter's stepson, offered him her guest room, and to take him to another relative if OP preferred that etc. Plus she told Reddit users off for not thinking more carefully about what they suggest to a vulnerable teenager.

[@Bloodshewolf]

story 2, what. the. actual. fuck?! That poor kid. He should just go no contact with his father. Also betting the father will come crawling back because the step mother dumped him. That woman needs to have her kid taken away. Probably one of those people who live off essential oils and tries to force them on others.

[@babybookworm003]

It’s sad to when the step grandmother has to step in to help the aunt and uncle stop the abuse. IMHO what was happening to op is psychological abuse. And if people are redditors that comment please share the kids helpline phone number and other safe resources like that

[@vanzy01]

People 🙄 just what we need more psychos in the world.

[@LunaP1]

That little girl needs to be taken away from dad and stepmom by CPS and put in therapy. This is not sane behavior to teach a child who doesn't know what she's doing or fully understands what funerals are.

[@mandyrobbins1]

Agree 💯%!! She was definitely giving off essential oils with a side of anti-vax vibes, lol

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Story 1: yeah no cops will care about the sweater unless his wallet was in there. They will call it a personal matter cuz it cost maybe $40.

[@marahbaker8615]

Yeah absolutely not. Besides if he doesn't wash the sweater that's just a biohazard. He's most definitely sneezed and coughed on it, wiped across desktops, dipped in the bathroom sink while washing his hands (if he washes them at all), gotten crumbs on it, spilled coffee/water on it. It's definitely got potential to have a little mold. That sweater was just one giant ball of germs. Call it dramatic but the boss allowing him to keep an unwashed item like thst in the work space given the pandemic we just went through is irresponsible

[@MONKEYDZETS]

Police won’t care of a small claims court, will

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@MAGA HN it'll cost more to file in small claims than what the sweater is worth. Dude should have just cut his losses but guess mental issue

[@theincrediblehunk2668]

Story 1 really felt like a sitcom of some sort XD

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 2: WTF DID I JUST HEAR!? OP is going through survivor's guilt and, most likely, some form of PTSD and is having to go through this entire thing every day? This is just nasty on so many levels. Annabelle is definitely living up to her namesake! Just plain evil and she is raising a demonic force just as herself! It is clear that she never wanted OP to be a member of her "perfect little family".

[@Violexie-wb7op]

For story 2, I want to know what his dad and step mom had to say for themselves when the 6 year old admitted she was being hurtful on purpose? It sounds like he didn't get so much as an apology and I'm appalled.

[@marshawargo7238]

That was really scary to me when his step grandma came in! Also I could tell she was a brat, when OP said how the wack a doodle responded to her daughters actions. Kinda reminded me of the "turn on, tune in, drop out" acid hazed 60's & 70's hippies montra. Far out, man✌

[@Parasolhyena]

I mean from how they were I bet they told him "you have to come home and do even more chores to make up it now."

[@KyrieChii]

I'm almost _certain_ the parents would've just made up some BS justification for her heartless behavior like: "She was just _exploring her emotional development_ via interaction with the emotional state of others, it is, in fact, _extremely healthy,_ & dare I say, even a bit _advanced_ for a child her age to do so. You're _obviously_ just _jealous_ or you wouldn't be trying to convince everyone that this impressive feat is a 'bad thing'." x______x I really hope they do take her to a good child therapist to work through some of this, both for her sake, & that of anyone else who has to interact with her in the future. Keep this up & she'll be a freaking _nightmare_ once puberty starts.

[@marshawargo7238]

@@KyrieChii And killing small animals, so she can make her funerals more realistic!

[@Violexie-wb7op]

@Hakura Chii agreed. By the time she is in middle school she will be such a bully because she obviously partakes in schadenfreude.

[@RokoFireFox]

Story 2. As someone who works with kids. I'm glad they most they do is "I died so you have to bury me". And not try to have a funeral. Step grandma is the MVP

[@lrock48]

It's fortunate the ex-coworker didn't go postal and make sure no one walks out of that office.

[@KyrieChii]

It's sad that that thought even comes to mind, but it's a very real possibility to consider when you decide how to interact with/react to people these days, even in utterly ridiculous situations. As much as people piss me off on the road or in parking lots, I always try to remind myself to be careful because it's not worth my life/health.

[@grey2366]

Story 1: So, generally speaking, it isn't cool to throw out other peoples' things, but as someone who also works in a shared office environment with some things I keep at my desk (you know, a blanket on my chair for when it gets cold, my coffee mug, that kinda stuff)... When you leave your items at a place you do not live at or own or have signed some kind of lease on - you have to be willing to accept that something could happen to any items of yours that you leave there and you should therefore be very careful what you leave. Hell, HR at where I work tells us we can have what we want at our desks as long as it doesn't impede our work, but we do it at our own risk because if something DID happen to our items they can't necessarily promise being able to do anything about it. I know that's not a satisfying response, but it's a realistic one. OP did something bad, but also sweater guy was irresponsible with his property in the first place and sounds like he wasn't a great person to interact with in general. Boss seems to have mismanaged the entire thing and is probably the biggest asshole because if he had stepped up earlier, he most likely wouldn't have fired sweater guy. Story 2: Oh wow, this just sucks so much. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to continually participate in funeral games like this after an event like what happened with OP. I know we don't really have many details, but what we do have does paint a nasty picture. I'm very glad to hear that this particular OP got somewhere safe in the end.

[@roelthas]

People excuse a lot of awful behaviors on kids 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Op: We don't have an HR, and our boss doesn't care enough to do anything about the problem despite being spoken to repeatedly Reddit anyway: There's ALWAYS an HR and you should have gone to them and your boss!

[@capsizemoonz2251]

Ah So theft and destruction of property should always happen and you should always cover up your crime by getting someone fired

[@owl7072]

@Capsize Moonz 1. It is hazardous and generally disgusting to leave anything at work that has such a foul odor that EVERYONE is complaining, yet you still refuse to do anything. There's a _reason_ good hygiene is included in proper dress code/conduct. 2. Op never got anyone fired. The boss decided to speak with him because he went out of his way to essentially harass people and brought in a "cop" (Highly doubt they were an actual cop) to interrogate them. For the boss to go from not caring at all to firing him all together just like _that,_ he did _something_ in that office, and given his behavior, he probably got aggressive as hell or even violent. All Op did was throw away something _everyone_ was complaining about and was potentially a health hazard. He escalated it from there.

[@capsizemoonz2251]

@@owl7072 so destruction of property and theft is the only way and getting them fired

[@owl7072]

@@capsizemoonz2251 when everyone is complaining and your boss refuses to do anything because it isn't affecting them personally? _Yes._

[@niyablake]

@@capsizemoonz2251 I didn't l know OP made the guy scream at the boss

[@joshuahaskellcarr]

Story 1- NTA don't stink is not a high bar.

[@potatoempress5731]

Dangit... Story 2 had me tearing up. I also haven't had the best relationship with grief from the losses I went through these few years. My parents are also unsupportive. I received some helpful tips from this story so thanks for picking it Markee

[@KyrieChii]

I'm so sorry that you've been through that. Honestly, this story just _hurts,_ even if you haven't had a similar experience. It sounds like OP has never had much of a 'support system' with his Dad since his Mom died, so relied heavily on his Uncle's family for that. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with grief. It can feel so insurmountable & it never really goes away.

[@PonderingStudent]

Please don't be afraid to ask for help to cope with your grief. I'm assuming from your comment that you're a teenager or college aged. If so, and your parents are unsupportive, then reach out to anyone else in your life that you think would be willing to help or just listen to you. Other family members, friends, friends' parents, teachers... whoever you trust the most. If there's no-one you feel you can reach out to, then there are helplines you can call. In the UK (where I am), for example, there is the Samaritans helpline. They will listen to you and help you talk through things. Many other countries have something similar.

[@UchuKejiMovan]

After OP said no HR and the supervisor wasn't handling the situation right they were well within their right to handle it the way they wanted to. Especially after telling the coworker the item stinks

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Yup. And everyone kept saying there's an HR sure there is they're offsite and don't give a fuck unless someone threatens to sue the company, need to do a background check or fire someone. So there's no HR.

[@jimdob6528]

Story 2 nta. Tell the step mom to die and help the sister deal with “mortality”

[@OD1261]

The sweater story: i don't blame OP for her edits. Sometimes even Reddit needs to get called out. Imagine trying to find helpful advice, and you get hit with "contact HR" after stating there is no HR, and getting hit back with "there is ALWAYS an HR." ?!?!? That would've driven me nuts!

[@ajzephyros7454]

"My negative flow is disrupting the energy of the house" What is Stepmom smoking

[@madgevanness4011]

Nothing related to facing reality.

[@Allenluvable]

weed, at least. But maybe shrooms.

[@groofromtheup5719]

S1; I agree OP should have left the sweater in bosses office.

[@kazzuo32]

#1. To bad for that man, and OP comment of of him getting fired "that solve my problem " let's hope karma doesn't hit her.

[@kanelovec4315]

S1. I have learned anything at work is not safe. If you leave anything it's free game to be taken or moved. Food, clothes, lunch boxes and office supplies. Is op a** for doing it yes but coworker having sticky unclean clothes at work is also a jerk move.

[@robertx8020]

If the coworker hadn't been an AH the whole thing could have been avoided!

[@aluralovell6829]

@@robertx8020 You don't steal people's things point blank period. OP should have out it in the boss's office since it's clear they don't have cameras and they wouldn't have been caught, rinse and repeat until something is done about it.

[@robertx8020]

@@aluralovell6829 that would stil be stealing it according to you And I disagree with the 'don't steal' when it is ppl so totally ignoring your comfort

[@cuzican1902]

@@robertx8020 Moving it from his desk area to the boss's area is not stealing. Taking the sweater is is larceny: the theft of personal property capable of being possessed and carried away and is a misdemeanor. Your justification to commiting a crime is someone ignored your comfort..... that sounds like entitlement and immaturity

[@robertx8020]

@@cuzican1902 Ignoring EVERYONE's comfort and health because 'you' need to be an AH is even more entitled, immature and selfish ...just like the ppl who think this behavior is ok!

[@Pastel_Dreams]

2nd Story: NTA. Step-Monster can go stick her head into the toilet. OP is going through an extremely trying time with yet another loss of someone he loved. Little sister is still incredibly young & doesn't really yet understand just how serious the matter at hand is. But her mom isn't doing any favors for either of them for encouraging this cruel game. EAU: K, the entire immediate family sucks & it's great that OP got out when he could.

[@EmmyRae1885]

6 year olds don't understand how much damage being hurtful can do. That's about the age kids start learning how to bully, in my experience. Hopefully the therapist helps her turn things around

[@slantos2668]

Oof that second story, thank goodness the uncle & aunt were there. Broke my heart.

[@adrianxx22]

story 1: take it home and wash it? so my washer can smell like garbage too? wild take

[@robertx8020]

Ppl are idiots! Let me bring food for everyone too in case they forget to bring it themself..or give them part of my wages in case they can't pay their bills ...this is a (I guess ) grownup man ..not a child!

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

The story of the boy whose cousin died breaks my heart. I internalize grief myself and tend to deal with it on my own-which caused people around me to assume that I was ok. "She's so strong", "so well-adjusted", and "wise beyond her years"; the grown-ups would say, with no idea that I was screaming inside. The only one who understood this was my mom, who passed last year. I keep thinking about the friend I lost when I was that OP's age. If I hadn't lived with my mom-who encouraged me to talk about what I was dealing with, and was there to hold me when I cried-I don't know what I would've done. I couldn't imagine being forced to go through fake funerals over and over again at the insistance of a bratty kid that none of the adults wanted to say no to. I'm so glad that his step-grabdmother reached out and got him in touch with people who really cared about him. It sounds like he's where he needs to be. If there's anyone out there who is grieving and being ignored...please reach out to someone, ANYONE who you trust. No one should have to suffer those feelings alone; especially not a kid (I know OP was 16 but he's still a kid to old farts like me). God bless.

[@Khaisz.]

Story 1: I believe this is a NTA, clearly every other option didn't work, it was starting to be a hazard, it had to go when he refused to acknowledge it was his sweater that was stinking.

[@mattiekarwin3667]

Agreed. Op was a bit of a bitch in the edits but like.. show me someone who's calm and rational and talking genuine 100% of the time and I'll show you someone with a diagnosable mental disorder.

[@beccaf262]

The only thing that pissed me off about the jumper story is how poor everyone’s reading comprehension is on reddit

[@Ospyro3em]

The update to story 1 reminds me a bit of when I was in secondary school and a complete brat of a girl in our year left her school blazer on the floor and threw a huge tantrum when she saw a footprint on it. She then loudly demanded that everybody line up and show the sole of their shoe to her so she can find out who committed the act. Everyone laughed in her face and our teacher snapped at her that if she hadn't left it on floor, no one would have stepped on it. She was very quiet and sulky for the rest of the day 🤣

[@MONKEYDZETS]

This is not remotely the same. This is someone took someone else’s step and threw it away, not stepped on it.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

If you have a problem with a coworker you go to management you do not take the stuff their property and throw it away just cause you can’t deal with it there’s a lot of stuff and like you can’t deal with we can’t just touch other people stuff and get rid of it because it’s inconveniencing us

[@Ospyro3em]

@@MONKEYDZETS I suggest you re-read my comment. I said the UPDATE reminded me a BIT of what I described. I'm not talking about the issue with the sweater itself, I'm talking about the bit in the update where the coworker demanded to know who stole it and brought the "cop" in and said he was going to start interrogating everyone. That's what reminded me of my story.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 that evil little thing. Doing that just to throw his grief in his face over and over.

[@Mglay556]

Story 1: weather you think YTA or NTA, I think we can all agree this was deff a post that a lot of Redditers didn’t read the whole way before making a judgement

[@threeducks157]

First one just goes to show reddit is filled with either kids or people ignorant of the world. There are absolutely places with out hr, with shit bosses. Dude was nutters and his house must stink since he didn't notice the smell anymore. Kind of how dog owners no longer notice dog smell.

[@domesticgoddess9684]

He said it wasn't his...so pitch it!! Lol

[@catherinecox573]

I'm having a hard time being mad at OP1, it's disgusting. And she tried the "right" ways first. That sweater smelled like garbage so she treated it like garbage. Edit: oh so other people hated the sweater too and the coworker brought his cousin to impersonate an officer? The boss is to blame for the whole mess holy crap

[@LilySaintSin]

She sounds insufferable though.

[@catherinecox573]

@@LilySaintSin yeah, not like I wanna grab coffee with her but I think I probably would've wanted to toss the sweater too after all that. I actually thought leaving in the boss' office like one commenter suggested would have been best lol

[@kitkakitteh]

There are Plenty of times you are simply required to be an ahole 😱

[@robertx8020]

@@kitkakitteh 🤣😂so true

[@malvoleus]

The boss in this case is most at fault, regardless of the lack of internal HR he should have dealt with it before it got this far. I work in an office & had a colleague with intensely poor personal hygiene who was given 3 verbal warnings, 2 written warnings & then fired before he was a month into his contract.

[@toxicradiant9858]

The funeral story hits a little close for me, I was 10 when my dad died and it took forever for me to get over it. My niece was born two years later and when she started to get to an age to speak and start having a curious mind they taught her that her grandpa is in an urn. Looking back I think it's very weird they were teaching her this young, I think she was around three to four. She would repeat things constantly, it was her way of exploring her curiosity and so she'd keep asking me if her grandpa was in there, if he's really in there, if she can see, if I could let her see. It was incredibly overwhelming and I exploded. I yelled at her to shut up until adults intervened and I was scolded. I don't believe I was right for screaming at a toddler who was just curious but I had never gotten help or counseling for my grief. His death was sudden and my whole life changed after. He was my best friend. My dad. The only parent who actually loved and cared about me. I felt like in that moment she was in a way mocking me even though I knew that wasn't rational. "Why would she ever care about a man she never met" She doesn't remember anything about my "recovery" from grief. She's a huge part of my life, my sister ended up adopting me and getting me into therapy and I became a big sister figure to my niece. Screaming at her was never something she deserved. I just wish I got help sooner :( she's now 10 herself and a very smart and kind girl. I'm now in a place to talk to her about her grandpa, my dad and when she asked if he would have loved her too my heart broke. I wish he did get to meet her. The answer is yes, he would have loved her with all his heart

[@PonderingStudent]

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. Screaming at a toddler is never a good thing, but honestly, it's something even the most capable and well-adjusted parents can end up doing occasionally, let alone a grieving teen. So long as it only happens once or twice and doesn't become a regular occurrence, it won't do the toddler any harm in the long run and they won't even remember it. Toddlers are full-on and energy intensive to spend time with, plus they can be exasperating, infuriating and insensitive, even when they're not unwittingly pushing your buttons. It really not something that you should feel bad about - after all, you were *both* (in different ways) vulnerable children at the time.

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 2: I’m glad to here that OP is in a better living situation and is around people who are helping him through his grief. I hope he never returns to his dad and cuts off him, the stepmom and the psycho little sister. Ik I shouldn’t be calling a little kid a psycho but wanting to make OP sad on purpose how else can you describe that. Hopefully in therapy she will learn how wrong she is and actually get help to understand why she wanted to cause someone else pain. They deserve all the backlash they are getting because the way the acted, if the grandmother hadn’t stepped in and looked out for him, would have caused OP to be in a dangerous place or there would have been another another funeral and it wouldn’t be the crappy “play” funerals that little sister is doing. That “family” showed where their priorities are and I karma is gonna come for them.

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

If his sweater smelled that bad, then he must smell that bad, because Op said it started to smell overtime, and he never took it home, it stayed in the office, that could only mean that either he smells or the office smells 🤷‍♀️

[@MONKEYDZETS]

Doesn’t matter she should’ve went to management or HR about it. You do not get to touch other people’s property and throw it away because you don’t want to deal with it.

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

@@MONKEYDZETS Ok? I didn't say anything her being justified in throwing it out, I was just making a point that it's weird for the sweater to smell without him smelling, meaning the sweater wasn't the problem, he was, clothing doesn't just start smelling bad on its own, and I was more or less joking about the office smelling, cause I'm sure Op would've noticed that, personally I would've told someone about it, even though from what Op said they most likely wouldn't have done anything about it.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Ask the police to send a sniffer squad to track it LOL

[@samssams666]

Got fired because the boss didn't want to handle things properly? Wtf, that boss should be fired.

[@catsncrows]

Story 2 ugh. I had a therapist who went to a lot of "retreats" I was having medical issues and she told me western medicine couldn't help me and all I could do was meditate and take supplements. Quackers!

[@squirrel670]

Were they a certified therapist or a counselor?

[@catsncrows]

@@squirrel670 mlnp (medical licensed nurse practitioner) I've seen two other with this standing that were absolutely professional. The weirdest thing was that I'd been seeing her for years and suddenly this happened. It's like she slid downhill into some cult mindset

[@squirrel670]

@@catsncrows that's probably what happened. No matter how smart or accomplished one is, they can become radicalized by online and group content. Especially if she seemed normal and was meeting your needs before.

[@velveteenrabbit5940]

Im super glad the kid in the last post is doing alright now.

[@littlegreycat]

That poor kid. I’m so glad everyone came through for him and schooled his Dad and stepmom

[@BankruptMonkey]

The parents and step sibling purposefully torturing a child that almost died as entertainment for that stepsibling is pretty sick, I'm glad he was mature enough to accept open hands from the aunt and uncle that love him instead of continuing to refuse the loving support from the people who love him and staying with the abusive adults encouraging his torture

[@NuggetNapper]

I absolutely loved OP 1's snark in their original post

[@littlegreycat]

The sweater thief just wants everyone to agree with them.

[@lorianabanana6066]

Story 2 wow... But I think that they might've misjudged what Stacey meant when she said she wanted to 'make OP sad'. I think she might have meant 'I want OP to be sad for ME. I want him to miss ME like he does cousin. I want him to say nice things about me like we said about cousin.' I could be 100% wrong tho. Stacey could totally be like the kids from the 1960's 'Bad Seed'- great movie btw. I love old movies. When I was 5 or 6 I had a miscommunication issue that deeply affected my life. So I have pretty bad ADHD. Also my brother is severely autistic/ profoundly handicapped. I also had speech/communication issues, so my parents had me doing speech therapy at school. But they had to spend ALOT of time on my brother obvi. As a result I was pretty feral and not great at socializing. Especially w adults. So my parents took us on a vacation when I was in kindergarden. I think I only missed a few days- 2 or 3? But during this time the class made 'blue bugs' out of construction papers, and those metal things that let you move the limbs & pin the arms & legs together. I LOVE art- actually ended up an art major. And I loved toys that I could pose like that. I wanted one. I told my teacher (who hated my hyperactive @ss) that I wanted one. She said I didn't make one. I said 'I don't care. I want one of THOSE'. Meaning my classmates. Now I didn't really understand that all the other bugs were made by other kids, and I'd be taking someone elses work. I kinda just thought 'You have like 20. What- I can't have ONE? Or can I just make one?'. But I wasn't explaining myself at all. My teacher should've just explained that I would've been taking from another kid. Even tho I was a feral child I was and still am super empathic. Old people with dogs make me cry type of thing. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I would've gotten that and moved on. But my teacher (who again HATED me) turned it into a whole thing. She insisted that 1- I just couldn't understand that I didn't make one (I did) and that something was wrong with my memory/cognition. And when I did FINALLY grasp that I had not actually made one myself that I wanted to STEAL another kids project. I was an evil, conniving, bad seed of a child and something must be done!! Again- I just saw 20 things and thought 'why can't I have just one?'. It didn't occur to me that each already had an owner. Again- literal 5 years old child. Went right over my head. So because of a construction paper art project.... I was sent to a nuerologist and a kiddy shrink. They diagnosised me with ADHD and speech issues. I was put on Ritilin and sent to even more speech therapy. Both good and bad results. I had to go to Pre-First, aka I was held back. Nevermind that I could already read, and was testing above age group. My BFF who was also in this class (how we met) and she is a literal genius- but her parents were divorcing so she slept everyday in kindergarden. We both got to explain how we 'failed' kindergarden as A students for years after. Fortunately I look much younger than I am so most people forget. So I gained a BFF but was also seriously bullied and ended up an entire year behind. This 'misunderstanding' affected my entire life. All because an adult made a stink over a misunderstanding. Granted I was hyper and had driven my teacher bananas. But if you can't handle energized childern- get another job. To this day I wonder why this person picked the job they did. Sorry for the novel lol. But for real this COULD be just a kid wanting attention and being encouraged by her Crunchy Mom to misbehave. I'd give the kid a chance. But I'd also watch her like a HAWK. And FFS keep her away from any pets lol. u

[@franniefargo3536]

I just love how people say take it to HR. Well HR are the junkyard dogs for the boss and NEVER goes right for the employee.

[@venusbleu5764]

I would better respect Op1 if they admitted to trashing the sweater, she just created more tension in an environment that apparently already had a boss who didn't care. This was handled so poorly.

[@browniewin4121]

1) ESH. He refused to correct a problem, OP did. After update: Nope, after he brought up that many have complained, and yet he did nothing about it, that makes him the AH. Boss who didn't deal with that properly in the first place is the biggest AH. 2) Sorry for the loss of your cousin. Step-sis is just a little kid and is dealing with the funeral experience how she wants, but you needn't play along. I think it's wrong to be forced to participate with half-sister's imaginary funerals. Please explain to her how this funeral play is making you sad and see if you can redirect her to play something else. After update: I'm happy to hear a therapist is now involved, and that OP is in a good place away from his weird step mom, obnoxious little half-sister, and not good father.

[@jstar1054]

I'm terrified of this child, Lizzie Borden liked to hold funerals for birds she killed

[@Callimo]

Story 1 OP: you know what? NTA. Sure, it seems that the coworker has a lot of issues, but OP and other people *tried* to talk to this guy. Dude declined any sort of advice. The only other way was a full way was to have the boss and the rest of the coworkers had a group intervention. Boss was ineffective and weak until the situation affected him. Ah well. Story 2: Absolutely NTA, and really glad OP got out of that situation. It's shameful when parents let their new partners abuse their childhood all because they're thinking with the wrong head.

[@betheguy_posts]

Story 1 is a prime example of "YTA, but you kinda had to be in this situation."

[@ceridwen04]

Children can be fascinated by dark situations and I'm not sure they are even aware of the other person having feelings or being hurt. Some may be more empathic than others tight from the start

[@memyselfandi7782]

I'm shocked at both

[@mindyschocolate]

S1: NTA. I’d toss that foul thing too. I berth on a ship with dozens of people crammed together. It affects morale when people bring that stench back to the berthing. The unwritten rule is if you can’t take care of something you don’t deserve to have that something. Lmao, “undercover cop”. Sure. Let’s see that dude’s badge. Imagine getting a guy to pretend to be a cop over a dumpster smelling $5 sweater. ETA: the boss is useless. He should have handled it the first time OP came to him with the issue.

[@user-mc5vy2vk5n]

Exactly. Multiple people complained to him about it, he couldn't even guess who might have tossed the sweater, because he pissed off so many people. Looks like the whole office had problem with it and they all were secretly relieved when that stinky thing disappeared. And boss did ofc nothing, as long as it didn't influence him directly. If I was fed up and passive agressive, I'd put Friday afternoon the sweater on boss's desk and let him enjoy whole Monday stinky office. Maybe then he'd deal with it before I'd need to.

[@KazumiKiguma]

I'm all for whatever kind of spiritual stuff people might be into so long as it keeps to themselves alone. The step mom in the 2nd story who talks about the "energy of the house" and suggests group meditation instead of conversation and empathy is the perfect example of someone who doesn't understand (or more likely, care) how to keep it just to themselves. The sister admitting she only was doing them to make OP sad as a 6 year old also speaks volumes for how the mother has reinforced "making someone sad" as a good thing in a similar way to her "death is part of the dance of life" crap. This girl is going to need some major psychiatric help in the future if that stuff isn't addressed soon.

[@Parasolhyena]

Haha I don't know why but I read "conversation and empathy" as "conversion therapy" and did a double take.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 1- I am a department supervisor at the hotel I work at and as hard as it can be, sometimes you have to talk about difficult things with people. Had I been the boss in that situation I would have pulled the coworker aside when people first started making complaints and been as nice and gentle as possible. If nothing was done after a few days I would bring him in again and talk to him again. It kinda sounds like the guy was just unreasonable though and was probably always gonna end up fired.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before the update): NTA, you literally took every logical step to try and resolve the situation. the co worker refused to take the sweater home and wash it, and the boss (AKA HR) refused to tell the co-worker to take the sweater home and wash it. it is ridiculous of people to think you should have taken it home and wash it for him. Story 2: NTA, but your sister needs therapy, not going along with this stupidity.

[@faeriefire78]

My heart broke for OP in #2. Him saying that aunt and uncle don't blame him makes me wonder if OP was the one driving, which would just pile guilt on top of guilt and make this situation at home even more screwed up. Silver lining in this awful situation is that he and his aunt and uncle can lean on each other and help ease their grief together.

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: Sounds like a few people I have worked with as a programmer lol

[@RNRCamper]

sticky notes on me at all times made me think he would look like a literal wall full of sticky notes some on your face some on your arms a couple on your chest lol XD

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: People need to remember the little girl may not be psycho/sociopathic, she's a young child who is exploring making people get big feelings. This is the sort of thing that needs to be resolved with the parents and outside help, but young children have not yet grasped the concept of longterm consequences. They don't see the hurt and pain that can persist long afterwords, instead they find it interesting, even funny, to make someone sad, angry, scared, it's that they are able to create a big reaction. It's not even specifically malicious, its like doing someone destructive just because you can because you don't know how to regulate your own reactions to it. When I was like 5-6 I used to giggle when people got hurt, my mother said to me that "ouch" was the funniest word in the world. The difference being that my parents constantly told me I was wrong, and why I was wrong, and I learned to have empathy as I got older. The stepmom not guiding or correcting her daughter's behavior will not do the little girl any favors when she gets older.

[@LilySaintSin]

The enchanted dance of life! Bro!! 😭😭😭

[@brookeneeley396]

Sounds to me Annabelle was encouraging Stacy to aggravate OP's grief so she can push him out of the picture to have her "perfect family." Well she got what she wanted, but wasn't expecting the huge backlash from her friends and her own mother lol

[@maiqtheliar789]

Story 1: OP shouldn't have tossed out the sweater but I understand exactly why they did it. OP tried the proper channels and nothing was being done about it. I have no sympathy for funky sweater guy none. Office environments can be close quarters sometimes and smells travel especially funk and strong perfumes. OP is not in charge of making sure a grown man practices personal hygiene or cleaning up after him by washing his sweater. I have worked with people in the Army who didn't like to bathe or wash their cloths. The way OP handled it was a lot less stressful than the way Soldiers in the barracks or deployment would have handled it. Which is strip him butt naked and throw him in the shower and hold his ass down and scrub his ass down with lava soap until that skin in exfoliated to the max. After that they never make that mistake again. The guy sounds crazy anyway. Going to bring in a fake ass cop to try to get a confession when no police department in the world is going to send an officer out to waste their time on this. The boss should have grown a pair and handled this before it ever got to this point. Dealing with employee issues is part of being a boss. If you can not do that then do not open a business or become a manager. The asshole in this story is the boss not OP.

[@colleens1107]

Ok, I had assumed Stacey was just dealing with a novel situation and being typically six year old about her approach. I never thought she was doing it maliciously. She wanted to make OP sad? Well the branch doesn’t fall far from the tree. Stepmom is equally cruel. Screw the dad and thank god Annabelle’s mom at least has a frigging conscience

[@Khaisz.]

16:50 SHE WANTS TO DO A GUIDED MEDITATION TO REALIGN THE RELATIONSHIP? Good lord, she needs therapy and Jesus, not meditation.

[@ellen2805]

Hope you're having a great day, thanks for the upload!

[@jay2thaudy]

Anyone else imagining Dwight Schrut? 🤣🤣 Edit: The answer was EVERYONE else lol

[@marywray6046]

A office misunderstanding can become a legal issue real quick, i mean this is your manager job to deal with but you took it out of his hands by throwing it out, at least buy the guy anthor sweater, apologize and leave management to the manager

[@cuttycake1238]

Story 1- If OP wanted to be really nice, he couldve taken it home and washed it. Then the next day held onto it until coworker came in, then chucked it at him and said "This is the first, and ONLY, time i will wash that nasty-a$$ sweater. If you EVER let it get that bad again, I will throw it away. This is your only warning." But thats if you wanted to be super nice. And while throwing the sweater away wont get him in legal trouble logically, it TECHNICALLY is a crime. TECHNICALLY that is destruction of property, so the cowerker could TECHNICALLY get OP in trouble, but at kist itd be a warning from cops saying dont do that again. I'd give this an ESH, OP shouldnt have thrown it away, just because it could get him in trouble (plus it wasnt his and throwing out other peoples stuff just isnt super cool...) but the coworker shouldve taken that thing home AT LEAST once a week to wash it. Idk what was going through the coworkers head thinking the sweater would be just fine never getting washed... I mean, even coats and hoodies need washed every now and then...

[@valortuka]

Story 1, that sweater may have belonged to a loved one that person lost, and they were grieving. This could have been handled so much better in many different ways. Now someone has lost their job, their way of life, and something precious to them. Some blame the boss entirely. This is shared by the boss and the sweater thief. Someone with a heart would have secretly washed the sweater and returned it.

[@ajzephyros7454]

This kinda reminds me of the guy who burnt his girlfriend's comfort blanker

[@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat]

I mean you can't say there isn't something seriously wrong with the sweater guy. I mean it was bad enough that he didn't ever was the sweater he always wore to work, but he got/made someone pretend being a cop to harass someone at op. That's not something someone does unless there is something wrong mentally or they're just really delusionally entitled

[@valortuka]

@@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat If this sweater belonged to a loved one that the sweater guy lost, then no. He probably wasn't in the greatest state of mind. It disappearing could have sent him over the edge. The person who threw it away has ruined a life that could have been helped. It's too late now to know. The attitude of the people who threw it away is horrible. They don't care and are just looking for sympathy from anymous to justify their action.

[@zozocecp]

Who leaves the sweater of a loved on at their job? If jt was a really loved item they would take it home at some point and if they don’t they’re an idiot in general. I don’t feel bad for them at all.

[@kittiekat10105]

then why leave it at work?

[@caseydemmings6666]

Op in 1st story is roast reddit reading skill

[@rosaazure]

Story 2 - I agree with the suggestion that OP starts crying and wailing the next time pretend funeral happens. If stepmom says anything OP can say that stepsister should experience all types of grief. Stepmom sound unhinged.

[@champslim]

Story 2: What kinda The Bad Seed nonsense is this????!!! Has any small animals gone missing around the neighborhood because WTF!

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

Story 2) his dad will wonder why he don't my son speak to me.

[@hvymax]

OP could use the statement that it wasn't his.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1: ESH. You do not get to steal from others. If your boss isn't taking it seriously, make them take it seriously. Demand that people be held accountable for your hygiene or you will leave. Ask the straight up what is more important, having a capable person filling their roll, or not enforcing showing and laundry. If the boss cares that little start looking for other jobs. A boss that complacent is a hole in a ship. Eventually it will sink. Get off while you can. Also getting rid of the sweater doesn't fix the issue. The issue isn't a sweater. It is poor hygiene. If that isn't addressed there will be more sweaters and you will be fired or go to jail if you throw every single one out. Edit to ESH because if you are told multiple times that your sweater stinks and you do nothing about it you really can't be surprised when someone takes action against it, even if it is wrong or illegal.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 2 the father will rue the day he married crazy when the daughter gets older and becomes crazy 2.0.

[@telinhajp]

Good night, Markee! Big hugs from Tokyo! おやすみ！🤗❤️😴

[@vetaroberts3333]

Nta ,it smells bad and everyone has the right to be comfortable in the office

[@GlucoseGuy]

My first impression of the half-sister was that she got the wrong impression about what death/funerals were about. So I was thinking that she needed to be taught that a funeral is more about the people who are grieving the loss of someone they will never see again. That the nice things people say about the person that died is for those people so they can share and empathize their grief together. Also, I get doing the pretend funeral once. But to keep repeating and encouraging that is not the right way to go about understanding death.

[@elizabethcox5911]

You don't throw away someone else's property, regardless. If sweater guy hadn't gone around the bend on his reaction, OP could've been the one in the unemployment line (after being asked to go dumpster diving).

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

…how? I mean, I agree you shouldn’t throw away somebody’s property but how exactly was OP gonna end up in a dumpster? She knew there was no proof. I don’t buy that she was going to confess at any point. She played her side of the petty game flawlessly.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Don’t leave disgusting shit in public places and it won’t get thrown out, simple. Health violations don’t have a place in public

[@chits28]

I understand where OP comes from, I know this behavior is like inappropriate for work and stuff but seriously sometimes people deserve it. It's not moral policing, it's not some sociocultural tone-deafness or any imposition that comes from such a place. It's intolerance but towards terrible working conditions, small office, terrible smells, I hear OP.

[@TheTrueKarin]

Story 2 - It honestly seems like Annabell learned from her mom. Op stepmom was probably never a nice person to him and young kids are easily influenced :/ But sadly there are no successful results when there a no changes. The public shame is one thing but people like that don’t change easily. Seems like we have her a little manipulator in making.

[@kitkat5339]

Story 1. Just take the sweater home to wash if it bothers you so much. You don’t get to decide what to do with someone else’s property.

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

No way. What if OP accidentally ruined the sweater? Throwing it away was a terrible idea, but washing it is just as inappropriate.

[@KCanbutwont]

Where does it say sweater tosser is a woman? That's a rock and a hard place if the boss DGAF and says shit like "sort it out between yourselfs"

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

Story 2) military gets a bad wrap for obvious reason but also and maybe it's not talk about enough, it has help 10s of thousand that otherwise would not of had any stability or support.

[@MazzaEliLi7406]

Once had a boss who had no sense of smell - greasy hair - no washing behind the ears etc., - lovely woman - but . . .

[@TheDarwinProject1]

You might consider some trigger warnings for listeners before stories like the last one, but it was a very sobering addition.

[@Neolithika]

The sweater could have belonged to a loved one that he lost, I wouldn't have taken such drastic measures. Also this woman gives off distinct Karen vibes.

[@RaspberryHugs]

1) If it actually DID belong to a loved one then why leave it at the office? why never take it home? that makes no sense. 2) Karen? because she threw away a health violation?

[@niyablake]

A bunch of others complained and the boss never did any thing

[@cuzican1902]

The I don't like something so I will throw it away response does have Karen vides. Not a very mature thing to do. I work in an office so I understand it can suck big time but theft is not justified. I like the idea of putting in the boss's office for him to deal with.

[@EternaMidnight]

Story 1 I do feel kinda bad for the sweater guy though. Yeah you would have been going out of your way to wash it, but I think that's what OP should have done, not throw it away. That was a bit cruel. If he didn't get fired I would have suggested anonymously buying him a new one. You don't know what he might have been going through.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

They’ll compromise what I’m going to take someone’s property and throw it away. Oh I didn’t have any other options you could pull out your phone recorded your interactions talk to other people and filed a complaint to your bosses boss. I’m pretty sure he has somebody in charge of him I had to do this before I had to go to my bosses boss to get shit done.

[@aubzily]

Story 1: the dude literally said it wasn’t his. There were steps taken to get rid of the smell. This was just the last one. OP NTA.

[@Allenluvable]

Actually, even OP clarified that she knew he meant, "That smell is not coming from my sweater." Not that he was saying the sweater wasn't his. Still gross and all, but she did knowingly steal something.

[@dailydoser1309]

We WILL be hearing about step mother/sister later. My guess is it will be from a completely different OP in the "entitled people" sub-reddit.

[@torchjenkins6158]

What is wrong with a little girl?