My Experience With PTSD

Facebook : / ihaveschizophrenia
Instagram : / jacobbtyy
Twitter : / jacobbtylerr
Snapchat : jacobbty

[@Ihaveschizophrenia1]

Facebook : facebook.com/IHaveSchizophrenia Instagram : instagram.com/jacobbtyy/ Twitter : twitter.com/JacobbTylerr Snapchat : jacobbty

[@JCResDoc94]

*i got dx w ptsd just from working in a hospital young & the things i saw. it is kinda funny, in retrospect.* idk what i thought hospitals were. also, they would roster me on 16days in a row 12h shifts pretty much no matr how many times i requested less. we each have to respect our machines, & work out what works for us. _JC

[@samanthamatus9534]

Don't hurt your hand. I remember in your older videos you would say I love myself and I just thought it was kinda beautiful. Going through alot of bad things and still respecting and appreciating yourself

[@lydia8724]

i tried to blame my self-isolation on the pandemic back in 2020 but the truth is i was that way before and still am. i dont even like being a loner but keeping up with friendships is a lot for me because of adhd and depression. just know you’re not alone i definitely relate to that feeling. havent even used snapchat twitter instagram or anything for a long time. just too overwhelming. i wish i had a friend group but part of me wonders if i am even capable of being a good reliable friend at this point because i always disappear on people😐 socializing in your 20s is hard

[@qweds34mj]

I feel you, it ain't easy. I have a friend that will just not reply for months due to mental illness/stress and being generally overwhelmed from life, but that doesn't mean that they're not worth being friends with/less lovable! In part because I know their situation, so I get it. There are people that will be understanding, please don't give up on friendships.

[@lydia8724]

@@qweds34mj 💙

[@La.Summer]

Same here, Lydia. Same here. Had this problem for so many years and getting worse. You described it very well. For me, I found relief recently. I started watching videos of Supernatural Life by Daniel Adams. He casts out bad entities right on KZbin. You don't have to be there personally, and it doesn't even need to be directed at you. I watch other people getting freedom and it helps me. I can't explain it, and I didn't use to believe in such things, I'm only telling you what has made a HUGE difference in my life and I got instant relief. I've had to repeat over a couple months, each time feeling better and better. No medication concoction has done THIS for me. I hope everyone can feel this good and find relief, that's why I'm sharing. You are precious and you are loved, everyone who is reading this. ❤️

[@amywalsh2001]

I convinced myself being alone was better I was never at risk at anything negative. My shrink told me it's good for my mental health to be social so I tried. I realised it didn't increase I'm risk of anything negative I just don't like being around other people a despite knowing I should be social I would rather just not. At all.

[@sagewillow8294]

You can always speak to me……I’m the same-I stick to one person-my carer who I have for 6 hrs a day---i have multiple diagnoses---I have Schizophrenia/ anxiety/ depression/borderline personality disorder (cluster C -which is Emotionally unstable)And Autism I like being on my own but with one person!🤪if I’m around more than one person my brain gets frazzled from them none stop talking -it absolutely totally drains-exhaust the life out of me

[@chrissyquartly2893]

I can relate a lot I been ridiculed by my peers in highschool and adulthood. I’m sure I have ptsd too

[@waterbottle9603]

Thank you for making videos, don't feel bad about making "dark" videos, this is your place and we're here to listen/relate to it.

[@suzannealsop3394]

Thank you for your voice Jacob 💚

[@jocelynfranklin2141]

FYI Trauma/PTSD is BY FAR the most common trigger for other mental illnesses including schizophrenia. The vast majority of people with schizophrenia have significant childhood trauma if not PTSD. I had 6 different diagnoses that looked unrelated and it turned out that it all boiled down to just PTSD from extensive severe trauma. Once I started working on my PTSD, my whole mental health profile actually improved drastically and multiple diagnoses were removed from my profile. I suggest you work on finding a *somatic* therapist for your PTSD. Treating the root cause of your mental health issues will do a lot more than endless medications that only mask symptoms (I’ve been there too). Continue seeing your psychiatrist so they know what is happening and can safely manage your meds as you attend therapy. Lots of therapists still do Zoom sessions only. Thank you for sharing with us and I wish you the best.

[@La.Summer]

My son suffers from schizophrenia. He gets PTSD from his hallucinations! The trauma didn't even need to be "real" outside the sufferer's mind. I'm so glad you found relief and are sharing to help others. I will look into what you recommended.❤️

[@amywalsh2001]

Nah it some psychiatrist are psychos so they misdiangose you with multiple things but you have one or two symptoms of it from ptsd but bit not enough symptoms to actually have all those diagnosis. But it you have all those diagnosis you don't get better and you have to do a lot of different unnecessary treatments even treatments that are harmful for you but they get more money from it. It boils down to using you as a cash cow from medical negligence. It's pretty common.

[@amywalsh2001]

I once briefly explained the situation with an OT and she said oh I see that's easy to make all that over laps. But I know the DSMV pretty well so corrected her and she stfu pretty quick.

[@ariagrace7431]

My brother is diagnosed schizoaffective disorder. We had a pretty rough childhood, alcoholic father who would get angry and take it out on my siblings and my mother. Lots of ups and downs with our childhood. I completely believe this…of course when my brother started smoking marijuana and his symptoms started to show more that probably didn’t help either.

[@beautellelicious]

Thank you for making videos Jacob, you have no idea how much they mean to me, I actually went to check the other day to see if you had uploaded so I'm happy to see this video come up today. I've been watching you for years at this point and your videos have always made me feel less alone, you're amazing and keep fighting

[@alannacarlson6715]

I'm not gonna lie, you look especially attractive in this video...But hey, I'm 26 too, I have PTSD too. It fucking sucks. But we're young, so, hopefully things will get easier over time. "Time heals all wounds" is very cliche but there is at least some truth to it. I've never really been happy either, or at least I don't remember it. Makes survival a lot harder but if I can remind myself that just because something has never happened doesn't mean it never will, hopefully I'll be alive to see it. Thank you for making your videos, it's nice to know I'm not totally alone with how I feel.

[@La.Summer]

You are wise. You spoke some good truth here. Especially, just because something has never happened, doesn't mean it never will. You're young. There's hope for a new beginning and many wonderful things for you, and this sensitive, intelligent young man.

[@BR-ww8wb]

I have so much respect for you, I have schizophrenia and my whole life is on repeat and alone.. if you read this please reply because it would mean alot to me :)

[@esfsefefsfes]

Hey man I have schizophrenia to and depression and it’s a terrible horrific combination! I feel as though depression has an impact on the delusions to! Stay strong what you said really resonated with me! Thank you hope you’re okay man!

[@Rumkie-ji4zl]

You’re doing really well dude, you just focus how well you are doing on the internet and how many people you have helped. I have a number of mental illnesses and everyday Is a living hell, but I just try and look on the positive side which is extremely hard but it helps. Keep your head high my friend, you are a good person 😊

[@stefankunar9649]

Hang in there buddy you’ve got great strength and spirit. Try to keep yourself busy and engage in new activities when possible. Sharpens the mind by focusing on positives and getting out there interacting with people.

[@John26767]

The problem with our school years is in the case of bullying it's very much one day on top of the day before and so on and so fourth. These are our key developing years and there is a lot happening all at the same time. Without constant off-loading through talking etc. and constant re-assurance our power can be very quickly taken from us and then we start to withdraw into ourselves. Thing is it's not just bullying it's a whole host of other stuff too, which can quickly get mashed together, then trying to work through the past and get closure is like unravelling spaghetti. It takes a methodical and patient approach and quite possibly a level-headed person to do it on their own... Add to that schizophrenia, hallucinations and conclusions drawn from a developing mind that is overwhelmed and can't rationalise what it is experiencing and we perhaps start to get a idea of just how overwhelming and debilitating all that can be. Sometimes we need to go right back to the start as an adult to a time before the bad stuff happened and gradually work forward chronologically and re-program/re-educate our perceptions and understandings. One would hope a good therapist etc. would achieve this. Hopefully you are still very much in contact with health teams etc. I wonder if speaking to them about this might help. Personally I found getting things off my chest can be like lifting a tonne of weight from my shoulders. Hope this helps. 🙂

[@rebeccamendez2691]

Hi Jacob, I'm so glad you made another video. This world n the problems that come along w it makes it ez to be suicidal. I myself feel like I'm just existing. Your so incredibly handsome n to have this situation really sucks. I wish they had a quick fix for all of us who feel like sh--. Ty for making another video. I love watching them❣️❣️❣️

[@ievajachimaviciute2219]

I came back here a few years after i found your channel. I was wondering how you are doing. I am so glad to see you are still here.

[@pamdewall4588]

Wow Jacob. This is deeper than I ever heard I speak. Listen to me! I am feeling everything u feel. I’m 56. I feel the same way I feel!!!!!! I hope u make it thru this struggle!!! I love u🎃

[@randallmcgrath9345]

I was just thinking about my PTSD like 30 mins before you posted this. Perfect timing

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

You are SO SO young man ,life is just beginning for you ,I am 10 years older and trust me ,there is always a new chance to get better,you need to watch documentaries of very poor war torn countries ,things can be sooooo much worse

[@Ravenwillowwood]

Hi, you should be proud of yourself. Most people can’t get in front of people and talk about personal things about themselves. Your helping a lot of people by doing this. I want you to know that I’m truly sorry you had to go threw that. There’s no excuse for anyone to behave that way. They obviously have problems. They probably should be the ones going to counseling . Know that other s admire you.

[@KSWA1000]

Thank You! ❤

[@DopamineSchizo]

thank you for sharing and being there, i can relate a lot. i have schizo affective and been bullied for years in school, i jumped in a psychosis of the highest building of school wich i luckily survived. i still have anxiety that people ridiculise or laugh at me and treat me like a dog and im 31 now 15 years later

[@La.Summer]

You are precious and special and important. Never hurt yourself again. ❤️

[@beantowncutie1]

Fuck that you have a gift!!! You don’t see it but we do most can’t put into words what’s really going on and you can!!! Your really helping people understand what it’s like!

[@Tomorrowstroops]

Honestly insight us really hard on all, I've only have had it a couple of times myself I'm 46, generally life is the persistent optimism that schizophrenia brings

[@JTinfected]

Thank you 💙💛

[@blondiecnt7820]

I really hope you are doing better

[@desert.beauty5684]

I have that. Self hatred at some point but overcame and became a fan of myself helped me alot

[@kaapokaljanen3261]

Im having a psychotic episode right now for the first time (i think) because of my ptsd and your video helped me a bit so thank you

[@rls3745]

I'm so sorry about what is happening to u ur so sensitive and that destroying ur life don't let ur sensitivity to win fight it u have to be the winner And please tell is more about ur delusions I wanna know more

[@pamdewall4588]

I’m sorry jacob❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@blondiecnt7820]

I came here from the tactile hallucinations video and I wanted to say your beard is nice:))

[@mouthguard17]

This is exactly how i feel. CPTSD is fucking impossible to explain. But the things you said resonated with me. Thank you. I hope your pain can be used for something at least. I too hate pitty, so its hard to know even what to say.

[@rooster555555]

I have cptsd from a bad childhood. One thing that helps when i fall into that mood of being in my head is i take a cold shower and most of the time it works. I really recommend it even though it hurts in the beginning.

[@Fee.1]

I cant tell you how similar of an experience I have. Sadly in a way you’re your own worst enemy, as am I, because I know how to make it stop, but you have to be willing to chat with someone to stop it. I assume you’ve learned to be able to stop it in the moment? If not lmk and we can chat about it, I don’t want to rant on and on in the comments but I’ll give you my number again as I’m sure you didn’t save it in the discord DM’s. Hang in there man.

[@La.Summer]

I know these are just words, but please consider them. #1 You are precious. That's the most important thing, and I know what it is to not be able to feel or believe that, but it's the 💯% truth. You are innately valuable and precious at your core, just for being who you are. You don't have to do anything to earn it. It's who. you. are. #2 the messed up things messed up people do to you, or anybody, do not define YOU. It only defines them and their personal misery, which is also sad. Separating the things that were done to you from who you are helps with time and practice. I am a survivor of my father doing hateful, bullying, aggressive, violent, unloving and soul stealing things to me since a very young child. I had to learn what I just explained to you, and I had to come to terms with the fact that it was done by someone I supremely loved and had no choice but to trust and obey. I also had to come to terms with the fact that my own father never could possibly have ever loved me. In fact he was incapable. Now that I am a parent, and knowing the feeling of loving your own child and what a profound life changing gift that feeling is, I actually feel sorry for my father for having missed out on that and for having lost the opportunity to have known me for the pretty darn good, nearly excellent 😉, person I turned out to be. It's really their loss, those who bullied you. And I'm gonna bet, they may deeply regret bullying kids now that they may be parents themselves. They are literally likely tortured by it because they can't do anything about it.

[@xxravenxx4511]

Love you

[@josephmiranda7858]

Yesterday i was diagnosed with PTSD and Anxiety. My PTSD makes me see things, hear things, and feel things. It gives me really bad paranoia too.

[@La.Summer]

There's another poster in here who suffers from schizophrenia which, I believe she indicated, stems from PTSD. I didn't know that happened, but it makes sense. Trauma in the brain and emotions can do some pretty bad things to a person. I hope you find relief.

[@Laughing-Carly]

I wish I could give you a hug 😞

[@Fee.1]

I have a question for you that we started to talk about last time we were chatting. What would you say drives you to create videos and share your experiences etc?

[@Fee.1]

Last thing. Fwiw, I was practically the prom king in high school compared to you. Like incredibly social and constantly dating beautiful girls and I had an ego and the confidence of a bull, and yet I still wound up where you are. I still wound up hating myself.

[@IslandGirlTCFamMember]

Just know that all of the things that were done to you are absolutely, positively NOT your fault. You did nothing to cause these people to treat you that way. Bullies (and worse) project their own problems onto others because they can't deal with their own crap. It is horrible and so very wrong of them but you did nothing to cause it or deserve it. It's their fault and theirs alone. People can and do recover from PTSD but it's going to take a lot of determination. You can be free of this if you fight for it. You can do it.

[@Laughing-Carly]

I’ve hated myself for a long time too

[@qplanet]

Have you ever listened to tibetan singing bowls or had a sound bath. So calming

[@Labros_90s]

Jacob, i hope you doing well..... i told you guys i have bipolar but my resent doctor said i may have anxeity or psychosis or maybe none of them hope your doing well again. your friend Labros.

[@Fee.1]

You have to force yourself to interact with other humans, it’s hard, but you can’t feel isolated and alone while also refusing to try and improve it and TRY socializing a bit, even just a phone call or whatever tests your comfort zone. NOBODY thinks you’re here for pity bro, in all these years you barely even respond to peoples responses to your videos, someone who is thirsty for pity would be soaking up all the interactions not avoiding them. So don’t worry about coming across like that.

[@La.Summer]

For me, stopping forcing myself to interact with people helped, but I'm on the spectrum, so interactions we're usually painful (especially with mean people) and I never felt lonely or missed having friends, so that worked in my favor. I agree, he's not looking for pity. Thanks for saying it. He's sharing some truth and it's really helpful to many.

[@lil_weasel219]

generally this type of prolonged trauma is described as cPTSD (complex ptsd) but that diagnosis isnt unfurtunately in common use despite overwhelming evidence. (simultaneously diagnoses with no evidence behind them are in common useg Sorry this happened to you. I have cPTSD too. 150 flashbacks to the stuff a day.

[@Fee.1]

Hey my friend what’s the status of discord. Didn’t you delete it or something? It’s still gone?

[@baconboy222]

He shut it down

[@Fee.1]

I have PTSD as well. People always think PTSD= SOLDIERS. MANY people with chronic illnesses, especially if you’ve dealt with it since childhood, have some degree of PTSD, and all of us have Traumas obviously. Just be very general about it if you have to explain it. Was it mental health related or social/personal encounter related or all of the above etc. I have the same issue with self loathing. I don’t feel I deserve to live. I disgust myself. I hate commenting on here though because I feel like I’m talking to a wall. I wish you weren’t so self conscious about what you consider “socializing” because you’re very good at conversing with people

[@summey71]

Hey! How are you doing? Could you share your twitch channel?

[@desert.beauty5684]

I noticed when I did a salt bath I immediately started noticing the voices and shit fading away slowly

[@oliverpetsch5844]

Wait. We are thinking.... No worry, jung man....!!!! ❤

[@pliit2101]

Nice mustache bro

[@djkhaledaltaccount6500]

Nice hair buddy

[@pliit2101]

Sup bro

[@Tomorrowstroops]

Any prayers please I've been having homicidal thoughts

[@rooster555555]

Pray to God

[@La.Summer]

I'm praying for you. Those thoughts are not yours. They are the enemy's and he wants you to believe they are yours. It's not who you are because it's not who any of us are. It's the enemy who is supremely evil and tortured. Tear that sh*t off of you!

[@La.Summer]

What about talking to someone? 988 is a free and confidential national crisis number you can call for help.

[@Tomorrowstroops]

@@La.Summer I'm not American my country has I found a lot of decriminalization against mental health

[@7cTube]

its just 2 bad bricks

[@haroonusman4174]

Look up Jerry Marzinsky

[@itsoctopusrock]

I know this will be hard to "get it," but you've got to understand, the way bullies and other kids treated you and whatever they may have done to you when you were young, all came from a place of their own hatred of themselves and not understanding life and how it works. And them not being mentally capable of understanding anybody else, except for themselves. Whatever they did to you or how they bullied you had NOTHING to do with you. Others, no matter what age they are, when they react to and treat other people negatively, had nothing to do with you or how you act yourself. It's hard, but you've got to separate YOURSELF from them hurting you. It wasn't anything you did. You didn't deserve to be bullied or hurt, in any way. You were a victim of their negative actions and you didn't cause it to happen to you. I hope that makes sense. Ya gotta understand, you can only control yourself and how you react and learn from situations that other people caused. Ya can't control anybody else. You can only control yourself and how you react to situations. There is nothing you could have ever done to invite in that behavior from others. It was their bad-doing, not yours. People fucking suck. Kids are fucking terrible. I was bullied growing up, too. I have Tourette's Syndrome and really bad OCD and anxiety, and the shit I've been through from other kids when growing up was complete shit and I didn't deserve any of it. Same goes for you, too. I'm sorry you've been hurting because of it. I know this video a few months old, but I just came across it and wanted to comment to let you know you are great and deserve only the best things to happen to you 😊❤️❤️ Keep doing what you're doing, Jacob!!

[@desert.beauty5684]

Schizophrenia in people have this door that's open to the supernatural.. so you need to protect yourself spiritually from spirits or unwanted energetic interference in your mind

[@desert.beauty5684]

Try a salt bath maybe it will cleanse you energetically from all the energy clutter

[@alexvidakovic]

All those FPS games bro.

[@pamdewall4588]

I have diagnosed ptsd. But I work so I don’t qualify for as Beni fits. 🎃

[@danielm.m.7654]

it looks like you're having severe depression. 2 years ago u used to say constantly you were very happy and you loved life, knowledge and stuff. Depression distorts our perception and make us think we've never been/ will never be happy: thats the feeling of hoplessness. Just saying that, logically, it doesnt make sense what youre saying now compared to what u said 2 years ago when u (in my opinion) simply were not depressed. That's just a thought. I dealt with severe depression through some period of time and I identify a similarity in this video. Depression has some kind of delirious with it that distorts our perception of how we ever felt/will feel. And it's the worse thing ever, but again, to me, to most people, it's an episode that passes (even though it seems it's impossible to heal as u have it)

[@La.Summer]

True. I remember explaining to my therapist that when I'm depressed it feels like I've never felt happy and I can't imagine ever feeling happy in the future. Then when it passes, I feel the opposite. Now I find it odd that she was so perplexed by my description, because that is such an accurate and common account of what people go through. She was an excellent therapist and helped me a lot, but I guess there's something to be said about having actually experienced it.

[@danielm.m.7654]

Thank you. I agree. Jacob feels hes never been happy. But on livestreams 2 years ago he told us constantly he was happy with his life and loved to learn about the universe and stuff. He literally afirmed us he was a happy person. So he feels hes ever been sad now, but it is a fact he hasnt. Depression is such a drag

[@desert.beauty5684]

They bully pretty people?

[@noreenquinn3844]

Why you? Probably because you were nice and more intelligent than the other kids at the time. Maybe you were more articulate too. Just look at what they did to Jesus for being nice and articulate. So now you know...You don't need to keep asking yourself. Kids ( and some immature adults) can't handle difference. They may have been asking themselves why couldn't they be more like you. Who knows? Kids can be stupid and immature. So can some adults. Your sensitive nature is a good thing. Being away from society and not knowing how to break back in, is probably actually what is driving you crazy..This is the really tough part... Getting back to life. Making friends is tough. You kind of need a wing man getting back out there but there is never one around when you need one. A tiny job or volunteering might help. Go very slowly though. Maybe someone in the family can hook you up with a job or volunteering?Wear dark glasses and noise cancelling earbuds if light and sound bothers you. You are a good looking, nice, guy. If you give people a chance they will eventually give you a chance. Trust in the good.. Anyway what do I know? PS I'm not into pity either.

[@rooster555555]

Also the fact that modern society is really enhancing mental illness and an unhealthy lifestyle.

[@caitlinsalyers1017]

The worse you make your situation the longer it will take for anyone else to fix it for you.

[@olesyapopenko9047]

Hey! I have a question and I do not mean to hurt you or anything (just in case) It looks like you're fairly aware of your paranoia and that no one is really after you, no one wants to kill you. Every person you see in a waitingroom with the probability of 95% thinks of him/her-self, they just don't care about you and about other people waiting. And I'm sure you understand that. So, have you tried to try to spend more time outdoors, just little-by-little, step-by-step? Maybe you could go hiking to a place where there's no people and you see that nothing happens and then you go to a place with few people and so on? What if it helps? I have social anxiety and I feel various degrees of uncomfortable when I have to be around people. But the more I try, the better it seems to get. I know that schizophrenia is a whole different matter, but I mean, have you tried?

[@caitlinsalyers1017]

Getting bullied at school doesn't usually cause PTSD that is usually anxiety or depression. Anxiety is panic attacks they are usually the same thing.

[@jonathanbrackett5062]

I know we're in this shit together .I feel the same brother

[@caitlinsalyers1017]

Unless someone has actually been in a war they most likely do not have PTSD as an illness.

[@Michaelschizophernic]

I don't enjoy living either. I enjoy sleeping. But the awesome thing is you inspired me to upload my own videos. Thanks @jacobbtylerr

[@littleretta3218]

This is the story of how I lost my soulmate Shawn. When I was 16 years old in highschool. I met Shawn. He was everything that I wanted. Now I wasn’t looking for love he just came along. We spent so much time together from October 2017 to November 2017. Yes I know that is a short period of time but everyday I spent with him I knew he was special. We were so different but also the same in many ways. Sadly I had to move in November so on my last day of school I wrote him a letter and gave it to him. When I left I really started to miss him now I knew eventually I was going to return to school I just didn’t know when. I went out of town and I saw this keychain and it reminded me of him so I bought it for him. I had made a promise to god that if I had the chance to see him again I would do what ever it takes. When I had returned to school I found out he was gone I was heart broken . I said I would wait for him 4 years later I found him on Facebook August 2021 and we both started talking like no time has passed and 5 months later we met in person and I gave him the keychain and apparently he kept my letter until it dissipated . We continued dating and we even got promise rings we were happy. Then the worst news came he had Schizophrenia. I made the choice to stay because I loved him no matter what and I always knew about his condition . Things go so bad with him I got that last phone call on August 13, 2022 of him saying we can’t be together because it is not safe and yes he did the right thing but it still hurts. We both cried and said our goodbye’s. I’m grieving and so is he I want to help and support him but it is too dangerous. It is so hard when you lose that person you can't sleep,eat,work it's like your whole life just stops and you can't do anything about it even the good memories start to hurt and it almost feels like they are dead even though they are not because that is the last time you ever hear from them see them know about them and then they are just gone. You hold on to so much hope that even for a second you wish you could have a 5 minute conversation one last time just to feel happy to get closure. One day I will see him again even if it is in the afterlife. I will wait he is the love of my life and I hope we cross paths someday my love. The worst day of loving someone is the day you lose them L.J Smith

[@wooskidustyhorn9844]

Hey man can I talk to you? Having probably the worst worst worst day in my life

[@La.Summer]

I hope things work out for you. Don't take it badly if he doesn't respond. He may experience a lot of anxiety just reading these comments, let alone connecting with anyone one on one. I hope you'll be okay. ❤️ I care.

[@wooskidustyhorn9844]

@@La.Summer thx man and yeah I had a bad episode lastnight.. this is so not good